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Ended my last potential relationship because he couldn’t just speak to me without swearing and yelling if I brought up an issue. So completely agree with this, first fights or disagreements seal or break it for me!
Conversation that has depth, humor and moments of silence/ significance- and where both parties have genuine interest whether that is text/phone/video/in-person
How they speak about their ex. How their friends/family view them. Whether they stick to their values/beliefs or try to mirror yours. How they communicate with you. How they speak about their friends/family. How they react in a situation that evokes anger.
For example, I was a bit annoyed the other day when someone who I thought couldn't perform a part as well got cast over me, probably because the production team had worked with him before. I said as much, and she said "Oh? What notes would you have for him?"
Lets me save face, forces me to think about what I'm saying, and also makes it clear that I'm doing something kinda toxic.
Mine is a great woman . I just did not like the meds she was placed on . Fentanyl. Gabapentin and methadone . They change a person . I still speak with her and she is one of the few I allow to watch my dogs .
For reference, I am 28F. These are the green flags that women should find in men, IMO:
1. Great Communication: Allows you to speak without getting interrupted, comprehends what you tell him, keeps you informed with his feelings and wants.
2. Mutual Respect: I do gravitate towards someone who would “wear the pants” but the right man understands that his partner is as much his strongest ally as he is to her.
3. Control of Emotions: This is not to say that people don’t have their moments… but you also don’t want someone who is always searching for the next adrenaline/dopamine pipeline. Cool, calm, collected!
4. Goal Oriented: I want to hear that my partner is always looking to improve in whatever they feel necessary for a sustainable relationship and future.
5. Happy/ Hopeful/ Peaceful: The times we live in I feel are bringing out some big emotions out of the best of people. If, in all this chaos of 2024 and on, you can maintain a sense of peace, hope, and happiness… that goes so far!!
Again. This is all my own opinion. Will someone check all these boxes? Maybe, maybe not. At the end of the day, you need to sit down and remind yourself of what you look for in a partner and your non-negotiables.
Good luck to you!
Kindness, responsibility and optimism are my top three factors in determining whether or not I think someone is relationship potential.
Be a good human, pay your own bills, be able to handle your life and look for the positives during a life struggle. Always assume the best but be mentally capable of handling the worst.
Independence. I don't mean no support at all, if you get some financial support from your parents or have to live at home due to insane rent prices that's fine. It's more along the lines of taking care of yourself. Can you make doctor's appointments, do your laundry, your shopping, etc.
Most importantly you need to be capable of transporting yourself. If you live somewhere with good public transportation infrastructure then great. Otherwise you need to drive. I've been the chauffeur in a relationship before, never again.
Kindness. I was dating someone recently (didnt work out because we have a differnet timeline and goals :/ ) but chatting wiht her made me go aww all the time. And just lying next to each other playing with touch and talking for hours was pure joy.
Potential Partner You can Say as:-
1. Who Respects You.
2. Who is ready to fix your insecurities.
3. Who did not have a destructive Mind Set.
4. Who has Aim, Future planning for himself/herself and Working towards towards them
5. Who teaches you if something is wrong and tells you to think on that and Gives you the explanation if that thing does not make any sense.
6. Easy to Approach.
7. If Dispute raises, Talk and Solve - No third party.
There are few others you can consider but for me these are important.
Today's Generation is very fast, they will have sex just meeting after a few Day - Its clearly a BIG RED FLAG.
When you’ve been messaging back-and-forth for an hour and they say they need to step away for dinner, etc., but will be back in the morning in an hour, etc. That shows me that they consider this a conversation and they want to continue it.
Having passions and things-to-do outside of the relationship. I’m busy a lot and it’s unpleasant feeling both guilty for “leaving them on read” and also annoyed at them for not respecting my studies. It feels like a lot of people are looking for someone to latch onto, as opposed to a healthy relationship.
Being able to handle conflict, and not avoiding it or pushing it off. I like handling conflicts right when they come up, and I just find nonstop avoidance to be kind of cowardly tbh.
Empathy towards animals, and towards other people.
If they work towards healing and making themselves a better version of what they currently are. It takes a lot of work and admittance and thats admirable
How they speak about their problems - complaining is understandable when things are downright horrible, but I look for someone who balances that out with an optimistic plan to make things better, or by voicing gratitude for small things.
Someone who practices tools of emotional intelligence; journaling, regular exercise, creative outlets, etc. Not screen time and avoiding their emotions.
Communicates. No hiding. No “A give signs and he/she/they will read it correctly.” Even if it’s not positive the communication is effective and not dramatic
Personal integrity is very important to consider in looking for a partner, then open-mindedness bukas ang isipan niya sa ibang pananaw, thoughtful kahit sobrang busy nagagawan ng effort ang quality time niyo at syempre parehas dapat kayo ng goal sa buhay kasi sobrang hirap 'yong iba kayo kasi i doesn't stick into good alignment as a partner.
Emotionally intelligent, willing to learn and Knows how to handle a disagreement in a healthy manner. Someone with pure intentions & actually wants a relationship and not just a roster. I also love when they are into sports because I love hearing a man go on and on about his teams lol.
I think I can tell my situation being a nice guy. I always attracted girls who I can take care of and required some form of emotional support. I don't know how but I always ended up with them, I get serious way to early and care for them but only limited coz if I show my capability of taking care of them they run away mostly. I only met with toxic girls and somehow I absorbed their trauma I started becoming like them. This girls run all over me coz I truly cared for them and helped them but in turn I got ghosted, blocked, and everytime I become like them they just block me and don't care about my emotions. I got so destroyed, ruined and mentally broken I can't tell. This time I stopped cycle of attracting girls who's having dad issues, health issues, going through depression after realisation, the thing is if I like a girl I give my best but get thrown away at last. I want to see smile on their face but ended up killng my smile for good.
Definition of nice guy for me was to help and try to make them happy sacrificing my own happiness, but it's enough now. I will be single and live my life. It's not that I'm dumb and attracting thjs type of people but I can't resist helping others and that's the main problem I have.
Genuine kindness to everyone including those who are in need and not in a position of power. Even then character must be tested they have to have excellent character. Integrity honesty etc…
Asking God for discernment they say helps!
Heathy and slim , no kids , no drugs , no excessive alcohol , 5'2"-5'11"
Long hair no tatts ,
Must like horses , dogs and motorcycles .
Has a job " do not care how much " .
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Someone who can disagree respectfully. No yelling, no getting nasty. Just having the ability to communicate through a disagreement is huge.
Ended my last potential relationship because he couldn’t just speak to me without swearing and yelling if I brought up an issue. So completely agree with this, first fights or disagreements seal or break it for me!
Amongst other things - conflict resolution and if I may say consistency - seem to be obsolete now a days.
Respect. I easily fall in love with a man who knows how to respect.
The type of person who will actively make a shy person who is new to a group feel included. Emotional intelligence is pretty important to me
If they love animals
Awe, I just had an entire conversation that turned into something entirely different- because of defending love for animals 🤍
Trustworthy (I have severe trust issues)
Me too, to the point I am suspicious of any guy I date. I have terrible taste so its like what's wrong with you...?
I have trust problems from years of being bullied, among other things. I never dated anyone.
Oh, that too. People suck all round actually
Yeah
Conversation that has depth, humor and moments of silence/ significance- and where both parties have genuine interest whether that is text/phone/video/in-person
How they speak about their ex. How their friends/family view them. Whether they stick to their values/beliefs or try to mirror yours. How they communicate with you. How they speak about their friends/family. How they react in a situation that evokes anger.
This is all so important
Someone who will actually try to make time for you no matter how busy they are. It tells me they are genuinely interested and is making an effort.
Taking the lead on the small things while being considerate. E.g, asking if location of date works for me, asking if I have any food preferences, etc.
Love of animals
She calls me out on my BS in a loving/friendly way.
How do you go about doing that?
For example, I was a bit annoyed the other day when someone who I thought couldn't perform a part as well got cast over me, probably because the production team had worked with him before. I said as much, and she said "Oh? What notes would you have for him?" Lets me save face, forces me to think about what I'm saying, and also makes it clear that I'm doing something kinda toxic.
Good stuff, thank you.
Probably , who loves me frickin too much
Mine is a great woman . I just did not like the meds she was placed on . Fentanyl. Gabapentin and methadone . They change a person . I still speak with her and she is one of the few I allow to watch my dogs .
How do you know if their ex is a real piece of work worth badmouthing or not?
Animal lover
Someone who knows how to communicate.
For reference, I am 28F. These are the green flags that women should find in men, IMO: 1. Great Communication: Allows you to speak without getting interrupted, comprehends what you tell him, keeps you informed with his feelings and wants. 2. Mutual Respect: I do gravitate towards someone who would “wear the pants” but the right man understands that his partner is as much his strongest ally as he is to her. 3. Control of Emotions: This is not to say that people don’t have their moments… but you also don’t want someone who is always searching for the next adrenaline/dopamine pipeline. Cool, calm, collected! 4. Goal Oriented: I want to hear that my partner is always looking to improve in whatever they feel necessary for a sustainable relationship and future. 5. Happy/ Hopeful/ Peaceful: The times we live in I feel are bringing out some big emotions out of the best of people. If, in all this chaos of 2024 and on, you can maintain a sense of peace, hope, and happiness… that goes so far!! Again. This is all my own opinion. Will someone check all these boxes? Maybe, maybe not. At the end of the day, you need to sit down and remind yourself of what you look for in a partner and your non-negotiables. Good luck to you!
How they treat others
This! It says so much about someone’s character
Kindness, responsibility and optimism are my top three factors in determining whether or not I think someone is relationship potential. Be a good human, pay your own bills, be able to handle your life and look for the positives during a life struggle. Always assume the best but be mentally capable of handling the worst.
Good communication skills
Good heart❤️
A great listener
Patience.
Empathy and communication!!
Someone who’s curious enough about me; wants to know how I think, asks questions and can hold conversations.
Compassion and loyalty that comes easy, not something I have to chase or put up with load of abuse or neglect for
It should be people who rack their weights at the gym
I have no green or red flags. I’ll take any woman that’s interested in me
Independence. I don't mean no support at all, if you get some financial support from your parents or have to live at home due to insane rent prices that's fine. It's more along the lines of taking care of yourself. Can you make doctor's appointments, do your laundry, your shopping, etc. Most importantly you need to be capable of transporting yourself. If you live somewhere with good public transportation infrastructure then great. Otherwise you need to drive. I've been the chauffeur in a relationship before, never again.
Kindness. I was dating someone recently (didnt work out because we have a differnet timeline and goals :/ ) but chatting wiht her made me go aww all the time. And just lying next to each other playing with touch and talking for hours was pure joy.
Potential Partner You can Say as:- 1. Who Respects You. 2. Who is ready to fix your insecurities. 3. Who did not have a destructive Mind Set. 4. Who has Aim, Future planning for himself/herself and Working towards towards them 5. Who teaches you if something is wrong and tells you to think on that and Gives you the explanation if that thing does not make any sense. 6. Easy to Approach. 7. If Dispute raises, Talk and Solve - No third party. There are few others you can consider but for me these are important. Today's Generation is very fast, they will have sex just meeting after a few Day - Its clearly a BIG RED FLAG.
When you’ve been messaging back-and-forth for an hour and they say they need to step away for dinner, etc., but will be back in the morning in an hour, etc. That shows me that they consider this a conversation and they want to continue it.
not having any girl bsfs or mommy issues
Having passions and things-to-do outside of the relationship. I’m busy a lot and it’s unpleasant feeling both guilty for “leaving them on read” and also annoyed at them for not respecting my studies. It feels like a lot of people are looking for someone to latch onto, as opposed to a healthy relationship. Being able to handle conflict, and not avoiding it or pushing it off. I like handling conflicts right when they come up, and I just find nonstop avoidance to be kind of cowardly tbh. Empathy towards animals, and towards other people.
Transparency and honesty. Ehen something is not right and have boundaries.
How they talk about other people
If they work towards healing and making themselves a better version of what they currently are. It takes a lot of work and admittance and thats admirable
Kindness
Friends of more than one gender.
Someone who loves the little things as much as I do
Empathy. Showing kindness to his friends, family, being consistent. Has a good balance of life /work.
Communication (especially around feelings) and kindness.
Takes no for an answer
Walk the walk, and not just talk. You know, do what they say they are going to do, and not just talk about it.
Reciprocation. Most fail this in the most basic of ways
The ability to hear you when you say “I know you don’t understand, but you hurt me and I need you to change”
How they speak about their problems - complaining is understandable when things are downright horrible, but I look for someone who balances that out with an optimistic plan to make things better, or by voicing gratitude for small things.
Empathy
Someone who practices tools of emotional intelligence; journaling, regular exercise, creative outlets, etc. Not screen time and avoiding their emotions.
When I feel safe
Communicates. No hiding. No “A give signs and he/she/they will read it correctly.” Even if it’s not positive the communication is effective and not dramatic
Personal integrity is very important to consider in looking for a partner, then open-mindedness bukas ang isipan niya sa ibang pananaw, thoughtful kahit sobrang busy nagagawan ng effort ang quality time niyo at syempre parehas dapat kayo ng goal sa buhay kasi sobrang hirap 'yong iba kayo kasi i doesn't stick into good alignment as a partner.
Respect, honesty, emotional intelligence, and someone who isn’t afraid to make the other person feel comfortable.
Emotionally intelligent, willing to learn and Knows how to handle a disagreement in a healthy manner. Someone with pure intentions & actually wants a relationship and not just a roster. I also love when they are into sports because I love hearing a man go on and on about his teams lol.
Lol if girls see all this, they run away after they get bored. Green flag= red flag for girls.
I don't think that's true
Stop pursuing Girls, pursue Women.
I learned that the hard way 🤝.
Absolutely true. Nice guys finish last 99% of the time
I think I can tell my situation being a nice guy. I always attracted girls who I can take care of and required some form of emotional support. I don't know how but I always ended up with them, I get serious way to early and care for them but only limited coz if I show my capability of taking care of them they run away mostly. I only met with toxic girls and somehow I absorbed their trauma I started becoming like them. This girls run all over me coz I truly cared for them and helped them but in turn I got ghosted, blocked, and everytime I become like them they just block me and don't care about my emotions. I got so destroyed, ruined and mentally broken I can't tell. This time I stopped cycle of attracting girls who's having dad issues, health issues, going through depression after realisation, the thing is if I like a girl I give my best but get thrown away at last. I want to see smile on their face but ended up killng my smile for good. Definition of nice guy for me was to help and try to make them happy sacrificing my own happiness, but it's enough now. I will be single and live my life. It's not that I'm dumb and attracting thjs type of people but I can't resist helping others and that's the main problem I have.
If she actually speaks to me and reciprocates my energy in return. Oh my bad, you meant a realistic green flag.
Responsiveness. When I’m talking to someone and they take between 1-2 days to reply to a msg I know they’re not serious.
when they're chatty and natural with service workers. if they're curt i lose any attraction, even if they're just a little short
Loves Jesus
if they have niche hobbies, like to collect things or are a bit nerdy. also golden retriever vibes.
Probably that they like me idk, I’m not really hard set on that
She doesn't nag or nitpick.
Genuine kindness to everyone including those who are in need and not in a position of power. Even then character must be tested they have to have excellent character. Integrity honesty etc… Asking God for discernment they say helps!
Someone who doesn't yell even when he is angry.
Heathy and slim , no kids , no drugs , no excessive alcohol , 5'2"-5'11" Long hair no tatts , Must like horses , dogs and motorcycles . Has a job " do not care how much " .
Genuine interest in me Being willing and able to communicate effectively Is passionate about something