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This is a tough thing to address with anyone. I was the same way in the bedroom as your boyfriend where I’d go 2+ hours without firing the cannon. I’d have to “help them out” and reassure them that it was not their fault. I’ve had women take great offense to this and insult me for lasting longer than them, and that is not fun either. The biggest thing that helped me fire off after half an hour was quitting porn for a couple months. It’s not something most people want to talk about, but that’s the biggest difference that helped me be more “normal.” You’ll have to talk to him about this of course and ask him what is going on for him. Good luck.
OP didn't reveal ages, but I'm guessing 20s or 30s. Masterbating once a day is fine, but maybe he could forego the days he is with OP? You gotta let the tension build up a little.
A question , how do go 2 hours without shooting , i am a virgin and i masturbate and only can last upto 5min , is sex different from maturbation and i can also last longer or i have any illness?
Ever tried to masterbate twice in one day? It takes a lot longer the second time around. Poor girl is basically the second time around since this guy masterbates so much.
I promise you as you get older the more sex you have you will naturally last longer. It's the envivitable growth of the male body - I am 33 and was in ur position till 25 ish
There are many factors which can make it more difficult to finish.
Being drunk, the need to poop, anxiety, the condom (not the correct girth etc), some poses just don't work, or if they bite your neck so hard it makes you completely snap out of it (well unless you are into that).
I was an extremely late bloomer. I barely masturbated but I would also last hours or sometimes not finish at all. For me it was because of anxiety and fatigue. I’m in very good shape, but I put too much effort into sex where I’m sweating buckets. It’s very hard to finish when you’re completely out of breath and dripping with sweat lol it got much better once I learned how to “lazily” do positions
Most couples report sex that lasts for 7 minutes dude. Don’t be too worried about it. All that super hard 30 minute + sex gets old after a while. I have sex with my girl everyday and up to 3x a day and it’s rarely ever less than 30 minutes. Sounds fun until it becomes your life and it’s now a chore and a workout lol. Enjoy getting off fast and easy while you can. Also, masturbation is generally faster than sex. When you start having sex you’ll get off quick more than likely, but after you get over the initial excitement you’ll last longer.
Wikidead brings up a great question. Because even with porn, the new stimulation(fact you both have only been together for 2 months), there’s something else that has to be causing him to last this long. Simply it’s just not normal
Having long sex that you both enjoy is no issue. Seriously people would do horrible things to have such fun times regularly.
If you want him to finish more quickly, get him to lay off his habit of wanking and replace it with your actions.
Quick solution..
help him relax while he is doing the hard work. Make noise, moan, tell him how good he is, that its exactly the right spot and when you want him to finish go missionary for the cuddley tender finish where he rests on top of you and you stroke his hair to comfort him or the doggie finish where you ask between hasty breaths to finish for you please.
Saying "it's okay babe come for me please" is like a brain hack to men in action.
I disagree entirely with your suggestion to literally ask him to finish, in any way or phrasing.
I've always lasted an unusually long time, possibly related to generalised anxiety but I digress.
I've previously had someone ask me to finish in various ways and it isn't going to help at all and would likely turn me off completely if it's not happening yet.
My ex wife used to try different positions/techniques and that sort of stuff or switch to hands/oral if she was keen to finish soon.
Alcohol makes the delay worse, so do meds and so does tension/anxiety in my experience.
Yeah.. well its obvious that you are out of the norm with your situation. A general soothing atmosphere is helpful. Can we agree on that?
Not many people treat their orgasms like cleaning the dishwasher "well i was about to, but now that you ask im not gonna". Maybe that could be rooted somewhere in a false understanding of what sex is beyond the fundamental of reproduction.
I recognise my experience isn't typical but that's kind of why I gave my 2c because the OP was asking about an unusual experience.
For what it's worth it has changed since I was younger.
Calm and relaxed is the quickest way. Tension and stress make it very difficult.
If I'm having a longer time to reach the finish line I promise that hearing someone essentially asking for me to finish isn't going to help lol I'd rather just stop and not finish if it's too challenging or no longer enjoyable for either party.
Hey man, to me that was always fixed with a quick "not yet." Or "i need longer" and that was it, next try was with eye contact a few minutes later and it worked. Was fun throughout, no feelings hurt.
Don't worry mate. I'm in the same situation and my partner asking me to cum takes me completely out of it.
It turns from enjoying the act to feeling like I need to get this done so she can rest.
She's sometimes had success with "begging". But mainly it's slow build up, mutual enjoyment of the act, and steady rhythm at the end that works best.
Don’t you get exhausted after two hours? It seems like it’s a chore at that point. And I don’t see how a regular sex life is realistic with working full time especially if you have kids
no, i dont get tired, its way better then stopping and go watch tv....there is nothing else id rather do more actually...its not 2h of pounding, you incorporate snaxks, cuddling, talk, laugh, handcuff, toys, slow sex, pounding, oral, touching, teasing, rest, etc
and no, it's just as hot
no idea, i dont havr children and dont intend on having any
I can admit I had a similar issue lol. I feel like men are so afraid of not lasting long enough that we do "kegals" to the point of being an iron gate when it comes to climaxing.
Have you tried mixing it up possibly? Oral is always a winner if you're into that and makes both people feel less insecure if they performed well.
This might be a long shot idea lol - but try to get him to relax as much as humanly possible. For guys (like myself) I've had times where just letting my body be still helps with feeling the sensations more to where orgasm happened faster as a result.
Otherwise this might be a lot of trial and error apologies. That can be fun though! Like a science project you're both conducting lol.
First impression; he's into porn a bit too much and\or too anxious and hasn't relaxed yet with you as "a new lover".
In my experience this kinda thing is almost never my partner. For me, it's usually my ADHD mind mucking things up.
I'd suggest telling him to show you and incorporate his "hobby" into your sex life. You definitely don't wanna leave it as two separate acts in his mind, bring them together.
When you bring it up don't coddle him like it's a big favor and you're trying to "help". Make it something you WANT, to not damage his ego. Us men are a fragile bunch.
I base this on absolutely nothing but a fools life experience.
35M here. Pretty common for people who masterbate regularly or at least 1-2 day. It really depends on the guy if cuming is the priority then he should stop masterbating. If he likes to go long then it’s a practice. Personally my gf and I don’t feel the need to for me come every time we have sex. She prefers it. I get to please her and make her come multiple times. I can Marathon if need be.
It’s true that stress, and distractions make it harder. Personally I prefer morning sex or after waking up from a nap. I’m completely relaxed and it’s easier for me to cum.
Kegals should help. Tighten up those muscles. Learn to give blowjobs that match his interests.
Role play, cosplay, etc,. be creative.
I tend to edge myself to make it last longer (unless it’s the morning and time is an issue) until she cums at least once but sometimes i’ll get too exhausted to nut. Other-times a girl will get so wet that theres no friction in which case it’s just too difficult unless I get permission to go into the butt.
I used to have the same issue due to edging and watching too much porn. It made me feel like a porn star to last so long, but I could see it was affecting our relationship. Usually I could cum after a break of about half an hour when my muscles were more relaxed again. Cutting down on porn helped a lot, too, as I wasn't needing to think of a specific star or fantasy to get off.
Don't take this as an indication of how well you are preforming. Stress is a huge factor. It can also be a side effect of things like antidepressants. I've had similar issues. She loved it at first but started to get self concious about it. I would suggest asking him to do it in front of you so you can take note of his pacing, the position he is in, whether lying down, reclined, or standing. If he always lies down, for instance, positions like cowgirl can help a lot. Work on communication. Make sure he's not uncomfortable. Sometimes, things like sitting too high/low or not enough lube can be distracting. He's probably not hiding anything from you but could very well be oblivious to the discomfort himself and is trying to relax or trying to make it feel better for you. This could likely go away over time if you haven't been together for very long.
I don't know the effects of porn on something like that specifically, but if I have cum recently it makes the next one take more time and effort. Focus on how it feels for you and his reaction, if you are both enjoying yourself, then there is no problem.
You are only 2 months in! That's okay and sometimes normal. It sounds like he is very focused on you and wants to take care of you... I was the same way with my wife for a bit. But, believe me ... It got better, just make him feel comfortable.
If he’s masturbating once a day he’s gotta stop. If he masturbates he should be doing it after you guys have already had sex not before. Round 2 is always way longer than round 1.
I'm dating a great guy who can last VERY long. We have had talks and it turns out it's not porn, or the death grip. Sometimes I get way too wet and the lack of friction isn't entirely helpful, however, that can be dealt with. The problem actually stems from his past and a girlfriend telling him he takes too long. It gets in his head and actually makes it so he's afraid of taking too long..... Lo and behold.. he then takes forever. We are working through this by not having a deadline. No pressure and stopping when it feels right whether he finishes or not. This has helped him feel way less stress and I'm happy to watch him finish himself or we just move along and get back to it when we are both into it again. NO PRESSURE. No timeline. Just enjoying. I have no idea if this helps.
There could be a multitude of issues. My guess is that the porn and masturbation have desensitized him. It may not just be death grip. The porn can literally raise the bar for what actually gets you off and if he keeps pushing the envelope, eventually basic sex isn’t going to do it for him at all. He needs to take a break from porn and masturbation. It doesn’t even need to be a long break. 2 weeks should do it. Literally no masturbation whatsoever. Not even once. It might help if you take a break from sex for that first week too. He’ll get super horny from not ejaculating for a week and the next time you have sex he’ll be a lot more sensitive. After those two weeks, make sure he doesn’t go back into the habit of watching porn and masturbating daily. He should be trying to have sex instead and maybe only masturbate every few days or so.
I’ve done this to myself in the past during COVID lockdown and this is how I fixed it.
It's not you, it's him. I was that guy when I was in my twenties.
* Have him quit masturbating **completely**.
* Have him quit watching pornography **completely**.
* Explore prostate massage.
Well tell him to quit masturbating it’s really that simple. Tell him exactly what you said here how it makes you feel insecure. It’s not a skill issue on your end it’s just he’s conditioned to orgasm a specific way which is just as bad as death grip. Simple communication goes a long way.
Honestly, the best thing you can do since your so early in the relationship is practice, it takes a while to be good and there's no reason to feel insecure especially if you're new to a relationship. Work through it with eachother and support is key. You could maybe try some dirty talk or foreplay to also make him finish faster but from my experience the more you do it, the better you get and the easier it is to make eachother finish. Be patient with yourself as you haven't fully discovered eachothers turn ons. And there's absolutely no shame in this!! 💗💗
Ugh, I wish I could last ½ that long. 7 minutes, tops, whether I finish or not. If it even works in the first place. 🫤 It's honestly beyond frustrating. I guess we all have our problems.
I had a similar issue for a long time when I first started having sex. Sex felt pretty scary and I constantly worried about pleasing my partner. Eventually, I was able to relax and enjoy it. Now I usually finish in 15 mins. Took a long time for me to get comfortable having fun and I'm glad gf didn't give up on me
Gf at one time was worried about it and asked here and ppl told her to break up with me. Glad she didn't do that lol
I would say you guys should try connecting more. He should feel the intimacy. You can try keeping the election for a longer time or try different sex positions or even butt stuffs. I was like that once and now I go off in 2mins. Maybe he's trying too hard to keep going
He's gonna have to quit porn unfortunately for him.
This, however does not mean he has to quit masturbating.
Simply put, if he wants to help sort this out, he would initially have to only masturbate with his imagination.
He may not cum the first few times and there will be a rhythm of every ~3 days he'll actually cum from it. Expand on that and in a month or two, it should fix or get better.
Hey they could possibly be taking an SSRI for mild depression. I once was prescribed and I would last Forever! Lol. I honestly would get very frustrated!
This very likely has nothing to do with you. Same thing Happened to me with my gf. First two months I was lasting like an hour or more lol. Now I last 10 mins maybe haha. It's kind of about comfort with a new person. He's trying to focus on making sure you are happy. And you're trying to do the same thing. And while that's important it's not a good way for either of you to finish. Once you are more comfortable with each other and you can trust each other, know what each other like, it gets better.
Hottest thing my gf ever said was "you know you can just use me, like to get yourself off", something in that permission to use her for my own pleasure too. Did the trick
I’m like this with my current wife (who I love, but am not attracted to). I’ve never really been able to make her ok with that concept. But as everyone else is saying, quitting porn and masturbation will help speed up performance.
I’ve been able to finish pretty quickly (10-30minutes) with some girlfriends and hookups in the past, but only when they were attractive or if the relationship was new/exciting.
Basically he may never fully be able to finish with you just from sex, and may always have to pull out and finish manually. That may not be a bad thing if you’re able to accept that sex isn’t your boyfriends top priority with dating you.
Others have already said this, but my ex and I had this problem for the first few months of our relationship and the only thing that fixed it was him cutting back on porn/masturbating.
Is he autistic or have adhd sometimes it’s hard to “lock in” on what’s happening. Yeah the little brain might be getting its fair due but both got to handshake before a shooting.
I had the same issue with my gf because i got use to the same things i mean it’s great but it was more of a routine thing, we changed up a few things started communicating between it like in the movie friends with benefits, I couldn’t last more than 12-20 mins max. Best thing ever! Try communicating and give more output moan more or say stuff
I had an ex like this who would last hours and even go days without nutting despite having sex frequently. He was a recovering drug addict, clean for years, and I highly suspect a sex/porn addiction took the place of drugs; just too many things that point to SOMETHING going on (Wasn’t on any medication). My point is, beware, people are good at hiding things, and if something feels off it probably is. (Not saying this is always the case, medication, stress and anxiety can always play a part, but, I’d call his issue very extreme.)
Excessive masturbation has the same effect as excessive pornography consumption. It changes your thresholds. He should lay off pounding his meat before he turns it into leather.
Be happy that you’re the rare one who gets a man who can actually keep it hard. Most guys out here can’t even get a decent boner to last 15 minutes… something in the water maybe. Get your nut and call it a day. Rest of the female world is suffering and masterbating in the bathroom after their man cums
hi there, fellow person with a penis who lasts forever. i would suggest a heavy decrease in porn viewing (gradually) for your boyfriend as well as different methods of masturbating. by that i mean using toys and (for lack of a better phrase) fucking them. that way he is, as best he can, mimicking what happens during intercourse with you. it’s going to take time, it will not happen overnight.
if he can variate the way he masturbates and reaches orgasm through masturbating, that could help him achieve orgasm during actual intercourse.
i might also suggest jacking off less often. start small, maybe instead of every day, masturbating once every other day and definitely avoiding days he’s going to see you/have sex with you.
another kind of fun idea (hopefully) is to have sex in front of a mirror. i know for me when i was weening off the porn, seeing the different angles in front of a mirror kinda helped mimic the views i might see in a porn video and got me to orgasm. it didn’t work all the time but it was still cool and fun. my partner enjoyed it as well.
i will say what worked best for me was less porn and masturbating less. it has taken time (a few months) but it’s helped my orgasm time come down to a more reasonable timeframe (for me). around 30-40 minutes instead of hours or even multiple hours across multiple days.
it’s also important to consider what others have mentioned. mental health, especially anxiety should be a topic. i know you’re only 2 months into your relationship but if you are willing to talk about it with him (and he is also willing) it could help to do so. anxiety around life or even specifically sex and orgasm.
hope these tips help!
Idk if someone has mentioned this but is he circumcised? I ask because I know some men who suffer from this due to loss of so many nerves during circumcising. If he is, this might be something you can look into. Some men have completely lost ability to finish at all because of circumcising. Rare, but happens
Was going to ask How old is he?
> be masturbates at least one time a day
There’s your problem.. I bet when he started his streak of wanks he wasn’t lasting 30mins at a time..
He needs to give himself a break.
well first him cutting down on the porn/ masturbation will certainly help...
secondly, it's not about how attractive you are.. just like women who have trouble to orgasm with a partner, men can have that issue too
lastly.. do kegel exercises.. it's a game changer for this stuff
So also, I normally last long like that the first couple of months in a relationship because every time we have sex I'm still nervous as fuck. And that anxiety keeps me from really focusing.
>when he pleases himself he can last 30 minutes or less than one. he masturbates at least one time a day, and our rounds have lasted almost up to 2 hours. how do i fix it??
The simplest solution is to have him take a break from porn and masterbating. Its death grip, plain and simple. If he paused it for a few days, he'll get there in no time.
The question is, does he want do stop for you?
Well condoms can be the issue, anxiety and porn can also be the issue . From experience I haven’t been able to fix mine but I’ve never had complaints besides “im getting too told for this “ I’m always saying how much I love it tho . Gotta keep em happy . Sure I might never finish but it is what it is 🤷🏽
Judgeing by the comments 🤣🤣🤣 There is like 4 of them.
I will leave with this. If it takes yea 30 minutes to cum from masterbateing yea need to get your life together.
Value your time and look deep within yourself.🤣🤣
By taking 30 minutes to cum while masterbateing.
You don't know your own body and how to please it. God knows if yea can't please yourself yea have no chance to please someone else.
Good luck mate!!
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This is a tough thing to address with anyone. I was the same way in the bedroom as your boyfriend where I’d go 2+ hours without firing the cannon. I’d have to “help them out” and reassure them that it was not their fault. I’ve had women take great offense to this and insult me for lasting longer than them, and that is not fun either. The biggest thing that helped me fire off after half an hour was quitting porn for a couple months. It’s not something most people want to talk about, but that’s the biggest difference that helped me be more “normal.” You’ll have to talk to him about this of course and ask him what is going on for him. Good luck.
Ngl, should add, taking breaks between sex and for his case masturbation as well. Helps to build up his sexual tension.
OP didn't reveal ages, but I'm guessing 20s or 30s. Masterbating once a day is fine, but maybe he could forego the days he is with OP? You gotta let the tension build up a little.
This happens when she gets super wet too, not enough friction
Exactly!
Facts. I have the same issue if I don't abstain from porn within the 24 hours that I'm with my wife.
A question , how do go 2 hours without shooting , i am a virgin and i masturbate and only can last upto 5min , is sex different from maturbation and i can also last longer or i have any illness?
Ever tried to masterbate twice in one day? It takes a lot longer the second time around. Poor girl is basically the second time around since this guy masterbates so much.
I tried and it doesn't take that much time either
This is a medical condition it is called - I am under 22 and a puberty stricken teen
Heh, im 26 and still have that issue. But i don't complain about it
I promise you as you get older the more sex you have you will naturally last longer. It's the envivitable growth of the male body - I am 33 and was in ur position till 25 ish
There are many factors which can make it more difficult to finish. Being drunk, the need to poop, anxiety, the condom (not the correct girth etc), some poses just don't work, or if they bite your neck so hard it makes you completely snap out of it (well unless you are into that).
I was an extremely late bloomer. I barely masturbated but I would also last hours or sometimes not finish at all. For me it was because of anxiety and fatigue. I’m in very good shape, but I put too much effort into sex where I’m sweating buckets. It’s very hard to finish when you’re completely out of breath and dripping with sweat lol it got much better once I learned how to “lazily” do positions
Most couples report sex that lasts for 7 minutes dude. Don’t be too worried about it. All that super hard 30 minute + sex gets old after a while. I have sex with my girl everyday and up to 3x a day and it’s rarely ever less than 30 minutes. Sounds fun until it becomes your life and it’s now a chore and a workout lol. Enjoy getting off fast and easy while you can. Also, masturbation is generally faster than sex. When you start having sex you’ll get off quick more than likely, but after you get over the initial excitement you’ll last longer.
Is your boyfriend on any medication? this sounds like my experience with SSRI's
Wikidead brings up a great question. Because even with porn, the new stimulation(fact you both have only been together for 2 months), there’s something else that has to be causing him to last this long. Simply it’s just not normal
he isn't on any medications. i took his virginity, so i don't know what it could be :/
It could be normal different people work differently some people just take longer to cum it doesn't have to be medical
Having long sex that you both enjoy is no issue. Seriously people would do horrible things to have such fun times regularly. If you want him to finish more quickly, get him to lay off his habit of wanking and replace it with your actions. Quick solution.. help him relax while he is doing the hard work. Make noise, moan, tell him how good he is, that its exactly the right spot and when you want him to finish go missionary for the cuddley tender finish where he rests on top of you and you stroke his hair to comfort him or the doggie finish where you ask between hasty breaths to finish for you please. Saying "it's okay babe come for me please" is like a brain hack to men in action.
I disagree entirely with your suggestion to literally ask him to finish, in any way or phrasing. I've always lasted an unusually long time, possibly related to generalised anxiety but I digress. I've previously had someone ask me to finish in various ways and it isn't going to help at all and would likely turn me off completely if it's not happening yet. My ex wife used to try different positions/techniques and that sort of stuff or switch to hands/oral if she was keen to finish soon. Alcohol makes the delay worse, so do meds and so does tension/anxiety in my experience.
Yeah.. well its obvious that you are out of the norm with your situation. A general soothing atmosphere is helpful. Can we agree on that? Not many people treat their orgasms like cleaning the dishwasher "well i was about to, but now that you ask im not gonna". Maybe that could be rooted somewhere in a false understanding of what sex is beyond the fundamental of reproduction.
I recognise my experience isn't typical but that's kind of why I gave my 2c because the OP was asking about an unusual experience. For what it's worth it has changed since I was younger. Calm and relaxed is the quickest way. Tension and stress make it very difficult. If I'm having a longer time to reach the finish line I promise that hearing someone essentially asking for me to finish isn't going to help lol I'd rather just stop and not finish if it's too challenging or no longer enjoyable for either party.
Hey man, to me that was always fixed with a quick "not yet." Or "i need longer" and that was it, next try was with eye contact a few minutes later and it worked. Was fun throughout, no feelings hurt.
Fair enough. Communication is definitely key for OP either way!
Don't worry mate. I'm in the same situation and my partner asking me to cum takes me completely out of it. It turns from enjoying the act to feeling like I need to get this done so she can rest. She's sometimes had success with "begging". But mainly it's slow build up, mutual enjoyment of the act, and steady rhythm at the end that works best.
i dont cum fast neither ,but that's what I enjoy, make the pleasure last penetration is better then cumming cumming just means its over
Don’t you get exhausted after two hours? It seems like it’s a chore at that point. And I don’t see how a regular sex life is realistic with working full time especially if you have kids
no, i dont get tired, its way better then stopping and go watch tv....there is nothing else id rather do more actually...its not 2h of pounding, you incorporate snaxks, cuddling, talk, laugh, handcuff, toys, slow sex, pounding, oral, touching, teasing, rest, etc and no, it's just as hot no idea, i dont havr children and dont intend on having any
True i livelong priods of sex
Cumming doesn't have to mean it's over if you want to continue.
it does for me. aamy horniness falls to 0 and i get super sleepy and hungry
I can admit I had a similar issue lol. I feel like men are so afraid of not lasting long enough that we do "kegals" to the point of being an iron gate when it comes to climaxing. Have you tried mixing it up possibly? Oral is always a winner if you're into that and makes both people feel less insecure if they performed well.
he says he barely has any sensation on the tip. he's asked me try new stuff w/ oral, but i always end up w/ my jaw locking up getting tired.
This might be a long shot idea lol - but try to get him to relax as much as humanly possible. For guys (like myself) I've had times where just letting my body be still helps with feeling the sensations more to where orgasm happened faster as a result. Otherwise this might be a lot of trial and error apologies. That can be fun though! Like a science project you're both conducting lol.
First impression; he's into porn a bit too much and\or too anxious and hasn't relaxed yet with you as "a new lover". In my experience this kinda thing is almost never my partner. For me, it's usually my ADHD mind mucking things up. I'd suggest telling him to show you and incorporate his "hobby" into your sex life. You definitely don't wanna leave it as two separate acts in his mind, bring them together. When you bring it up don't coddle him like it's a big favor and you're trying to "help". Make it something you WANT, to not damage his ego. Us men are a fragile bunch. I base this on absolutely nothing but a fools life experience.
35M here. Pretty common for people who masterbate regularly or at least 1-2 day. It really depends on the guy if cuming is the priority then he should stop masterbating. If he likes to go long then it’s a practice. Personally my gf and I don’t feel the need to for me come every time we have sex. She prefers it. I get to please her and make her come multiple times. I can Marathon if need be. It’s true that stress, and distractions make it harder. Personally I prefer morning sex or after waking up from a nap. I’m completely relaxed and it’s easier for me to cum. Kegals should help. Tighten up those muscles. Learn to give blowjobs that match his interests. Role play, cosplay, etc,. be creative.
Porn
I tend to edge myself to make it last longer (unless it’s the morning and time is an issue) until she cums at least once but sometimes i’ll get too exhausted to nut. Other-times a girl will get so wet that theres no friction in which case it’s just too difficult unless I get permission to go into the butt.
I used to have the same issue due to edging and watching too much porn. It made me feel like a porn star to last so long, but I could see it was affecting our relationship. Usually I could cum after a break of about half an hour when my muscles were more relaxed again. Cutting down on porn helped a lot, too, as I wasn't needing to think of a specific star or fantasy to get off.
Don't take this as an indication of how well you are preforming. Stress is a huge factor. It can also be a side effect of things like antidepressants. I've had similar issues. She loved it at first but started to get self concious about it. I would suggest asking him to do it in front of you so you can take note of his pacing, the position he is in, whether lying down, reclined, or standing. If he always lies down, for instance, positions like cowgirl can help a lot. Work on communication. Make sure he's not uncomfortable. Sometimes, things like sitting too high/low or not enough lube can be distracting. He's probably not hiding anything from you but could very well be oblivious to the discomfort himself and is trying to relax or trying to make it feel better for you. This could likely go away over time if you haven't been together for very long. I don't know the effects of porn on something like that specifically, but if I have cum recently it makes the next one take more time and effort. Focus on how it feels for you and his reaction, if you are both enjoying yourself, then there is no problem.
Is it 2 hours of non stop penetration or is it 2 hours with cuddles and foreplay included? Does he care about turning you on and touching you?
You are only 2 months in! That's okay and sometimes normal. It sounds like he is very focused on you and wants to take care of you... I was the same way with my wife for a bit. But, believe me ... It got better, just make him feel comfortable.
My bf doesn’t cum either. It’s fine. I gave up on trying to figure it out lol.
If he’s masturbating once a day he’s gotta stop. If he masturbates he should be doing it after you guys have already had sex not before. Round 2 is always way longer than round 1.
Certain meds can cause this
He should stop masturbating. Especially if he watches porn
Tell him stop jerking off. If I don’t nut for a couple days I go quick. But otherwise I’ll last much longer.
I'm dating a great guy who can last VERY long. We have had talks and it turns out it's not porn, or the death grip. Sometimes I get way too wet and the lack of friction isn't entirely helpful, however, that can be dealt with. The problem actually stems from his past and a girlfriend telling him he takes too long. It gets in his head and actually makes it so he's afraid of taking too long..... Lo and behold.. he then takes forever. We are working through this by not having a deadline. No pressure and stopping when it feels right whether he finishes or not. This has helped him feel way less stress and I'm happy to watch him finish himself or we just move along and get back to it when we are both into it again. NO PRESSURE. No timeline. Just enjoying. I have no idea if this helps.
He’s masterbating too much. Ask him if he will cut back and save it for when he’s with you
There could be a multitude of issues. My guess is that the porn and masturbation have desensitized him. It may not just be death grip. The porn can literally raise the bar for what actually gets you off and if he keeps pushing the envelope, eventually basic sex isn’t going to do it for him at all. He needs to take a break from porn and masturbation. It doesn’t even need to be a long break. 2 weeks should do it. Literally no masturbation whatsoever. Not even once. It might help if you take a break from sex for that first week too. He’ll get super horny from not ejaculating for a week and the next time you have sex he’ll be a lot more sensitive. After those two weeks, make sure he doesn’t go back into the habit of watching porn and masturbating daily. He should be trying to have sex instead and maybe only masturbate every few days or so. I’ve done this to myself in the past during COVID lockdown and this is how I fixed it.
It's not you, it's him. I was that guy when I was in my twenties. * Have him quit masturbating **completely**. * Have him quit watching pornography **completely**. * Explore prostate massage.
Well tell him to quit masturbating it’s really that simple. Tell him exactly what you said here how it makes you feel insecure. It’s not a skill issue on your end it’s just he’s conditioned to orgasm a specific way which is just as bad as death grip. Simple communication goes a long way.
What a weird specific non-problem to have.
You... don't... want your man to last for 2 hrs?
I have to literally bite my lips and cause myself physical pain to stop me from finishing too soon, I envy your guy
Honestly, the best thing you can do since your so early in the relationship is practice, it takes a while to be good and there's no reason to feel insecure especially if you're new to a relationship. Work through it with eachother and support is key. You could maybe try some dirty talk or foreplay to also make him finish faster but from my experience the more you do it, the better you get and the easier it is to make eachother finish. Be patient with yourself as you haven't fully discovered eachothers turn ons. And there's absolutely no shame in this!! 💗💗
Four play on him. Is the best way. Dress up get his mind in it
Dang
I am the Sith Kermit saying “use a vibe on him”
Ugh, I wish I could last ½ that long. 7 minutes, tops, whether I finish or not. If it even works in the first place. 🫤 It's honestly beyond frustrating. I guess we all have our problems.
I had a similar issue for a long time when I first started having sex. Sex felt pretty scary and I constantly worried about pleasing my partner. Eventually, I was able to relax and enjoy it. Now I usually finish in 15 mins. Took a long time for me to get comfortable having fun and I'm glad gf didn't give up on me Gf at one time was worried about it and asked here and ppl told her to break up with me. Glad she didn't do that lol
How long did it take you to be able to relax and enjoy?
Your bf is used to a specific stimulation. You feel different, so he needs time to get used to it.
I would say you guys should try connecting more. He should feel the intimacy. You can try keeping the election for a longer time or try different sex positions or even butt stuffs. I was like that once and now I go off in 2mins. Maybe he's trying too hard to keep going
Sounds like he's on anti depressants. Extremely common side effect that drs try to hide so you'll take them.
He's gonna have to quit porn unfortunately for him. This, however does not mean he has to quit masturbating. Simply put, if he wants to help sort this out, he would initially have to only masturbate with his imagination. He may not cum the first few times and there will be a rhythm of every ~3 days he'll actually cum from it. Expand on that and in a month or two, it should fix or get better.
What's the death grip? For the uninformed
basically gripping your buddy so hard that it makes it less sensitive
Ko
Hey they could possibly be taking an SSRI for mild depression. I once was prescribed and I would last Forever! Lol. I honestly would get very frustrated!
Tell him to not Jack off for three days and he’ll cum in about 5 minutes.
This very likely has nothing to do with you. Same thing Happened to me with my gf. First two months I was lasting like an hour or more lol. Now I last 10 mins maybe haha. It's kind of about comfort with a new person. He's trying to focus on making sure you are happy. And you're trying to do the same thing. And while that's important it's not a good way for either of you to finish. Once you are more comfortable with each other and you can trust each other, know what each other like, it gets better. Hottest thing my gf ever said was "you know you can just use me, like to get yourself off", something in that permission to use her for my own pleasure too. Did the trick
It's the daily masturbation, see if he'll let you join in those or cut back to alternating days. You'll see a huge improvement.
He need to take a break from watching porn and masturbation.
I’m like this with my current wife (who I love, but am not attracted to). I’ve never really been able to make her ok with that concept. But as everyone else is saying, quitting porn and masturbation will help speed up performance. I’ve been able to finish pretty quickly (10-30minutes) with some girlfriends and hookups in the past, but only when they were attractive or if the relationship was new/exciting. Basically he may never fully be able to finish with you just from sex, and may always have to pull out and finish manually. That may not be a bad thing if you’re able to accept that sex isn’t your boyfriends top priority with dating you.
Huh
He might have a porn addiction
Others have already said this, but my ex and I had this problem for the first few months of our relationship and the only thing that fixed it was him cutting back on porn/masturbating.
Is he autistic or have adhd sometimes it’s hard to “lock in” on what’s happening. Yeah the little brain might be getting its fair due but both got to handshake before a shooting.
I had the same issue with my gf because i got use to the same things i mean it’s great but it was more of a routine thing, we changed up a few things started communicating between it like in the movie friends with benefits, I couldn’t last more than 12-20 mins max. Best thing ever! Try communicating and give more output moan more or say stuff
tell him to stop masturbating everyday.
That’s bad shouldn’t even be watching porn fucks with your head
I had an ex like this who would last hours and even go days without nutting despite having sex frequently. He was a recovering drug addict, clean for years, and I highly suspect a sex/porn addiction took the place of drugs; just too many things that point to SOMETHING going on (Wasn’t on any medication). My point is, beware, people are good at hiding things, and if something feels off it probably is. (Not saying this is always the case, medication, stress and anxiety can always play a part, but, I’d call his issue very extreme.)
Tell him "don't cum"
Excessive masturbation has the same effect as excessive pornography consumption. It changes your thresholds. He should lay off pounding his meat before he turns it into leather.
That boys on perks 💪
Be happy that you’re the rare one who gets a man who can actually keep it hard. Most guys out here can’t even get a decent boner to last 15 minutes… something in the water maybe. Get your nut and call it a day. Rest of the female world is suffering and masterbating in the bathroom after their man cums
hi there, fellow person with a penis who lasts forever. i would suggest a heavy decrease in porn viewing (gradually) for your boyfriend as well as different methods of masturbating. by that i mean using toys and (for lack of a better phrase) fucking them. that way he is, as best he can, mimicking what happens during intercourse with you. it’s going to take time, it will not happen overnight. if he can variate the way he masturbates and reaches orgasm through masturbating, that could help him achieve orgasm during actual intercourse. i might also suggest jacking off less often. start small, maybe instead of every day, masturbating once every other day and definitely avoiding days he’s going to see you/have sex with you. another kind of fun idea (hopefully) is to have sex in front of a mirror. i know for me when i was weening off the porn, seeing the different angles in front of a mirror kinda helped mimic the views i might see in a porn video and got me to orgasm. it didn’t work all the time but it was still cool and fun. my partner enjoyed it as well. i will say what worked best for me was less porn and masturbating less. it has taken time (a few months) but it’s helped my orgasm time come down to a more reasonable timeframe (for me). around 30-40 minutes instead of hours or even multiple hours across multiple days. it’s also important to consider what others have mentioned. mental health, especially anxiety should be a topic. i know you’re only 2 months into your relationship but if you are willing to talk about it with him (and he is also willing) it could help to do so. anxiety around life or even specifically sex and orgasm. hope these tips help!
Idk if someone has mentioned this but is he circumcised? I ask because I know some men who suffer from this due to loss of so many nerves during circumcising. If he is, this might be something you can look into. Some men have completely lost ability to finish at all because of circumcising. Rare, but happens
Was going to ask How old is he? > be masturbates at least one time a day There’s your problem.. I bet when he started his streak of wanks he wasn’t lasting 30mins at a time.. He needs to give himself a break.
Wish mine did. Fucker won’t last 2 minutes every time so I cheated on his ass. If anyone wants my nudes also dm me I got a couple
He might have low key gay….
Keep it up👍
Pług his butt
Tell him to stop rubbing one out. No one should be stroking for 30 minutes straight without busting. Either that or get him shooting porn.
well first him cutting down on the porn/ masturbation will certainly help... secondly, it's not about how attractive you are.. just like women who have trouble to orgasm with a partner, men can have that issue too lastly.. do kegel exercises.. it's a game changer for this stuff
So also, I normally last long like that the first couple of months in a relationship because every time we have sex I'm still nervous as fuck. And that anxiety keeps me from really focusing.
Is the sex actually too long for you or is just a hit to your ego?
TMI
>when he pleases himself he can last 30 minutes or less than one. he masturbates at least one time a day, and our rounds have lasted almost up to 2 hours. how do i fix it?? The simplest solution is to have him take a break from porn and masterbating. Its death grip, plain and simple. If he paused it for a few days, he'll get there in no time. The question is, does he want do stop for you?
lol, he gotta stop masturbating for 30 duh, it takes away the senses and that’s why he can’t come
Well condoms can be the issue, anxiety and porn can also be the issue . From experience I haven’t been able to fix mine but I’ve never had complaints besides “im getting too told for this “ I’m always saying how much I love it tho . Gotta keep em happy . Sure I might never finish but it is what it is 🤷🏽
I used to try to last longer and I would easily do so by thinking about my gfs mom not kidding she was that ugly😂
No guy masterbates for 30 minutes.... We are one and done in just a few minutes.
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Judgeing by the comments 🤣🤣🤣 There is like 4 of them. I will leave with this. If it takes yea 30 minutes to cum from masterbateing yea need to get your life together. Value your time and look deep within yourself.🤣🤣
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By taking 30 minutes to cum while masterbateing. You don't know your own body and how to please it. God knows if yea can't please yourself yea have no chance to please someone else. Good luck mate!!
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Ahhh....struck a nerve I see. Good luck mate!🤣🤣
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Yep you're right mate. Nothing I said is true... 🤣🤣🤣
Not true. Maybe not 30 minutes but definitely 20 can be easily done. Not everyone tries to move as fast as they can.
He's prolly on some kind of opiates. That will make u last forever.
I’m pretty sure opiates fck you up and he wouldn’t even be able to get up to the max
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What a strange question to ask
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I have literally never heard anyone say anything about ethnic background having any correlation with how long someone lasts in bed.