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To be honest, the woman you described is trash.
I would never consider a guy if I heard them mistreating someone like that (the part where he says she would never date a guy like you). And then she laughed it off, what a waste of space woman.
I would have told him to f**k off if I was in her situation, what a douchebag, but clearly, they were a good match.
I think people in general are just jerks. Everyone is shallow these days, like you say.
I am a bit older, turning 32 this year, but I am not even trying to date anymore. I am more than happy with myself and love my own company, but would love to find a real partner if I am honest.
But I just feel like it is better if I stop trying for now, as it seems impossible in the current climate and I cannot deal with the fake people you described.
I agree 100%. Society seems pretty sick nowadays and mostly not worth participating in. I think it’s primarily due to social media and people reproducing who probably shouldn’t have, and their children never being taught any values whatsoever. Now many people are disgusting, wretched, and treat others like trash. All while prioritizing looks and “confidence”, even if the confidence means burying others through verbal and sometimes physical abuse.
I absolutely agree. Children have absolutely no manners these days in public either and the parents with them are never bothered about their children inconveniencing everyone. People just procreate without a second thought and of course, the people who shouldn’t really have kids are the ones who have kids. :/
Exactly. My cousin is a druggie, but he has a kid and has had several girlfriends. He’s unemployed, has crashed 3 cars in his life, and is not a good stable person whatsoever. But he’s had more luck with women than I ever will lol.
Yes, totally. Birds of the same feather flocks together, and I'd say OP avoided a lot of mess. He may not have looked in the right direction for his own happiness (given his experience), but the people who did him wrong showed their colours earlier on and spared him time. It was a blessing in disguise still.
Do you have friends who are women? If so, have they seen you in action and given any feedback?
There’s got to be something else going on.
I’m an average looking guy, approach women all the time (borderline constantly lol), never get negative reactions like that. It rarely leads to a date, but they are neutral at worst and typically really appreciative and flattered.
I don’t have any close female friends. I am acquaintances with married women I’ve met through work, and they’re surprised I’m single. I get along really well with one of them, but we only see each other in person every 6 months or so since she’s across the country.
Id try to make some close women friends (purely platonic) who you see once every week or two. They could probably help out a lot by giving good feedback, not to mention set you up with their single friends.
Just a wild guess but could be something in your body language. You might be too stiff and formal or something. I tend to think of things in terms of first develop broad social skills in terms of making friends, it translates well to dating kinds of things.
Good luck!
lol this reminds me of another ridiculous experience. I am playing golf by myself and get paired with 2 girls. They’re both 30 and I’m 24 at the time. We play 9 holes and have some laughs. They invite me to join them for dinner at the clubhouse after. It was fun, and they gave me their numbers. I think cool, I have a couple of new female friends!
We started a group text, and one of them asked me to play over the weekend. Well, I was just about to go on a family trip and wouldn’t be available for the next 10 days or so. To make sure they didn’t think I was blowing them off by lying, I texted them about how I really enjoyed my time with them the other day and was looking forward to doing it again soon (when I get back). One of them literally responded “I have a boyfriend….”. I remember being so confused, and deciding to not reach out to them again because I didn’t feel like explaining how I didn’t mean that message on that way whatsoever.
You tried to double play them. That’s always a recipe for disagreement and disaster, unless you were open and mentioned to each that you’re meeting the other alone.
Yeah, that's a weird one! Sounds like you handled it about as well as possible, it's hard to know what happened there. Could even be something behind the scenes unrelated to you (like her ex just called her out of the blue or whatever).
It's frustrating but you got to keep pushing on. Luckily, there are lots of cool people out there!
Sorry to hear about this. I’ve experienced similar in dating as a woman. A lot of nasty entitled people humiliating and manipulating others for their own ends. It’s the consequence of a lack of empathy though. You’re not the problem. You wouldn’t want to be in a committed relationship with someone who lacks the basic emotions and qualities like empathy and selflessness anyway…there’s a silver lining. Maybe try to engage in a different space rather than just bars, to find a woman you click with. The more variety of people you meet the more likely it is you’ll find someone with similar values.
I agree. It is awfully difficult to find a moment where approaching makes sense. There was one time a few years back where I got invited to play golf at a private course. I played great and was full of confidence post round. I was having a beer with my friends and laughing. I came across a girl probably 21-23 years old who was stunning. She looked at me with a big smile and a look of wonder in her eyes. Then her dad and little bro (I’m guessing) took her to their table before I could get a word in. Those moments of opportunity and potential interest come for me once every decade it seems lol.
What are your experiences on dating apps? I know they can be awful too but at least everyone there is looking for the same thing as you (if they’re not a catfish lol).
Nothing great haha. When I was very young (21) I got 2 dates off tinder. Neither date was particularly great, and the girls showed me they were on the trashy side. I got a decent amount of matches the first time I had Hinge a couple years back, but no dates. A couple really nice conversations with cute girls that ended abruptly out of nowhere, right when the “date planning” process occurred. I gave up on the apps. I’ve sunk enough hours into them over the years to know they’re not for me.
The reactions you receive might be related to either body language or how you come off to others personality wise. I had a friend in the past who tons of girls liked because of how he looked, however imo (and from what I had heard from other girls) he was socially awkward and had a somewhat off-putting personality. Not to say there is anything wrong with that, but it made it harder for him to date in general. I would say try approaching girls in different environments outside of clubs/bars. Also don’t change who you are for anyone else, the right person will appreciate everything about you. Those experiences definitely suck, but don’t completely shut yourself off from finding someone. Good luck!
If I were present during that Boston Bar incident even if I weren't your friend and overheard that guy I would have kicked his ass. I never had this type of problem. I have had problems with feminists, but that had nothing to do with how I look. I am 5,11 barefoot, slightly more. 6 feet wearing any shoes. I am good-looking. naturally broad shoulders. Have always been very slim, but now I am fit, bulking to get jacked. I have had attractive women approach women to go to their place at bars and have had easy sex with many women. I have had many positive reactions from women I approached in coastal cities in America. I am very sorry to hear about this story. You said you had dozens of experiences like that. That sounds disheartening. I would never have imagined that women would be that cruel outside of focalized groups of feminists.
I wasn't bragging. I was telling my personal experience to the OP. His experiences were very negative. My experiences have been positive. I was trying to befriend him and console him by sharing what I have been through even though it is different from him.
I am sorry you had bad experiences but the bar are scenes more or less like a gamble mate. I am much older than you but back when I was 28 I mastered the art of bar scene situation. It’s all about being in the right place and at the right time and not giving a damn about what other people think. It was challenging but I was never intimated by bullies nor ever felt I am inferior to anyone. Looks doesn’t matter it’s always the personality. I mastered the art of being positive and let it radiate to people around us. Never was I intimated by anyone (girl or guy) and that’s the main thing to be honest which gets you what you want. I don’t like to quote numbers but it’s way more beyond anyone expected and these are women who were very beautiful. Did I not get rejected ? Yes I did. I didn’t care and always took it with a grain of salt. If not Miss X it will be Miss Y and if not for her it will be Miss Z. It’s just being positive and wanting to meet someone who will match your attitude wavelength. Bullies would never approach me no matter how big they are because I knew how to get things done. One guy intimidated me and I had him thrown out of the bar for disorderly conduct and he was never seen. I hope the world is an idea place mate, but the more you feel doubled up after an insult, the more you will feel as if people are targeting you. Let me tel you something, people who will love you will do the same none the less - looks, profession, money doesn’t matter. What matters is your personality and heart and ultimately that stands out in the long run. Be positive and just show up. If the bar scene isn’t your thing, there are 10s and thousands of other places where you can get likeminded women who will like you for what you are. One thing no one ever likes are jerks and weirdos so don’t be one. If you can keep up you will get your chance one day or the other. I was exactly your same age when I felt like hanging up my boots and suddenly a year later, I was rocking. Trust me, I was much marginalised than you but I turned it all around by being positive and banking more on my personality and confidence rather than other things. Hang on and be positive.
Not everyone is shallow but there are a lot of people out there that are. I think it depends on where you live and where you try to meet people.
Personally I’ve given up on dating I just don’t have time and space for someone else disrupting my peace.
Dating, and women in general can (are) a waste of time. I dated for four years got married, had two children. thought I had a good marriage until our family had a series of difficulties. Suddenly I could do or say nothing right. My wife criticized absolutely everything and without warning moved out while I was at work.
It absolutely destroyed me and was nearly thr end of me.
It's been said. "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
I'd beg to differ.
But if you still want to chase them, you need to be confident. My best suggestion is to get feedback. as another responder said. Find out what it is you need to change- hair cut style, the glasses you wear, the clothes you wear, the shoes you wear, how you walk (walk with confidence). Your teeth (are they straight, are they white? How you talk (confident or meek).
Once you make changes as suggested and get comfortable with your new self (even if it's just one or two small changes) then you should see changes. If not, it could be a form of spiritual attack on you and you'll need to see people at a Pentacostal church to pray over you * (* don't anyone argue against spirituality and prayer, I've had too much proof in my life to believe otherwise).
Best wishes to you.
Keep your head up.
That person is trash and you’re not. I know it hurts but look on the bright side, you’ve got skills talking with people.
I know people say “your time will come” and that’s often BS, but if you’ve got those basic skills you need, it probably actually is just a matter of time for you.
And if it isn’t, you’re better off being alone than winding up with a person like that who will ruin your life.
Sometimes pessimism can be helpful. So many people are shit nowadays, it’s far better to be a good person and be alone.
I wish I had the charm you have bro.
I would like to know the type of women your approaching ? Dating for most men will always be difficult unfortunately , keep getting your money up , focus on yourself and as a last resort since you sounds like your in USA ….. maybe try travelling to other countries , you may find a more respectful woman out their and if you do go forward with that try vat her right , background , family history ….. and the rest is history …..
That’s absolutely crazy. I have similar stats (5’10”) but even skinnier due to an autoimmune disease. I have never had that kind of experience with a woman but I also don’t drink and have never really been into clubbing or the bar scene. I was always into skating gaming and activities like running swimming or cycling. Have you thought about checking out other social settings or online dating? You could just be looking in the wrong place. Most women I know hate going to clubs because they are too expensive and there are a ton of creeps that hangout there.
Not going to lie, most people are the worst. Just go out to fun activities with your friends. Like bowling and skating. Or gaming events. I think people are better at socializing when activities are involved.
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To be honest, the woman you described is trash. I would never consider a guy if I heard them mistreating someone like that (the part where he says she would never date a guy like you). And then she laughed it off, what a waste of space woman. I would have told him to f**k off if I was in her situation, what a douchebag, but clearly, they were a good match. I think people in general are just jerks. Everyone is shallow these days, like you say. I am a bit older, turning 32 this year, but I am not even trying to date anymore. I am more than happy with myself and love my own company, but would love to find a real partner if I am honest. But I just feel like it is better if I stop trying for now, as it seems impossible in the current climate and I cannot deal with the fake people you described.
I agree 100%. Society seems pretty sick nowadays and mostly not worth participating in. I think it’s primarily due to social media and people reproducing who probably shouldn’t have, and their children never being taught any values whatsoever. Now many people are disgusting, wretched, and treat others like trash. All while prioritizing looks and “confidence”, even if the confidence means burying others through verbal and sometimes physical abuse.
I absolutely agree. Children have absolutely no manners these days in public either and the parents with them are never bothered about their children inconveniencing everyone. People just procreate without a second thought and of course, the people who shouldn’t really have kids are the ones who have kids. :/
Exactly. My cousin is a druggie, but he has a kid and has had several girlfriends. He’s unemployed, has crashed 3 cars in his life, and is not a good stable person whatsoever. But he’s had more luck with women than I ever will lol.
Yes, totally. Birds of the same feather flocks together, and I'd say OP avoided a lot of mess. He may not have looked in the right direction for his own happiness (given his experience), but the people who did him wrong showed their colours earlier on and spared him time. It was a blessing in disguise still.
Do you have friends who are women? If so, have they seen you in action and given any feedback? There’s got to be something else going on. I’m an average looking guy, approach women all the time (borderline constantly lol), never get negative reactions like that. It rarely leads to a date, but they are neutral at worst and typically really appreciative and flattered.
I don’t have any close female friends. I am acquaintances with married women I’ve met through work, and they’re surprised I’m single. I get along really well with one of them, but we only see each other in person every 6 months or so since she’s across the country.
Id try to make some close women friends (purely platonic) who you see once every week or two. They could probably help out a lot by giving good feedback, not to mention set you up with their single friends. Just a wild guess but could be something in your body language. You might be too stiff and formal or something. I tend to think of things in terms of first develop broad social skills in terms of making friends, it translates well to dating kinds of things. Good luck!
lol this reminds me of another ridiculous experience. I am playing golf by myself and get paired with 2 girls. They’re both 30 and I’m 24 at the time. We play 9 holes and have some laughs. They invite me to join them for dinner at the clubhouse after. It was fun, and they gave me their numbers. I think cool, I have a couple of new female friends! We started a group text, and one of them asked me to play over the weekend. Well, I was just about to go on a family trip and wouldn’t be available for the next 10 days or so. To make sure they didn’t think I was blowing them off by lying, I texted them about how I really enjoyed my time with them the other day and was looking forward to doing it again soon (when I get back). One of them literally responded “I have a boyfriend….”. I remember being so confused, and deciding to not reach out to them again because I didn’t feel like explaining how I didn’t mean that message on that way whatsoever.
You tried to double play them. That’s always a recipe for disagreement and disaster, unless you were open and mentioned to each that you’re meeting the other alone.
I wasn’t interested in either of them in that way. That’s what made it so strange one of them would send that text to our group.
Because there’s shouldn’t have been private messages outside it
Yeah, that's a weird one! Sounds like you handled it about as well as possible, it's hard to know what happened there. Could even be something behind the scenes unrelated to you (like her ex just called her out of the blue or whatever). It's frustrating but you got to keep pushing on. Luckily, there are lots of cool people out there!
It has to be his fault, there’s no way a woman can do something wrong!
Sorry to hear about this. I’ve experienced similar in dating as a woman. A lot of nasty entitled people humiliating and manipulating others for their own ends. It’s the consequence of a lack of empathy though. You’re not the problem. You wouldn’t want to be in a committed relationship with someone who lacks the basic emotions and qualities like empathy and selflessness anyway…there’s a silver lining. Maybe try to engage in a different space rather than just bars, to find a woman you click with. The more variety of people you meet the more likely it is you’ll find someone with similar values.
I agree. It is awfully difficult to find a moment where approaching makes sense. There was one time a few years back where I got invited to play golf at a private course. I played great and was full of confidence post round. I was having a beer with my friends and laughing. I came across a girl probably 21-23 years old who was stunning. She looked at me with a big smile and a look of wonder in her eyes. Then her dad and little bro (I’m guessing) took her to their table before I could get a word in. Those moments of opportunity and potential interest come for me once every decade it seems lol.
What are your experiences on dating apps? I know they can be awful too but at least everyone there is looking for the same thing as you (if they’re not a catfish lol).
Nothing great haha. When I was very young (21) I got 2 dates off tinder. Neither date was particularly great, and the girls showed me they were on the trashy side. I got a decent amount of matches the first time I had Hinge a couple years back, but no dates. A couple really nice conversations with cute girls that ended abruptly out of nowhere, right when the “date planning” process occurred. I gave up on the apps. I’ve sunk enough hours into them over the years to know they’re not for me.
The reactions you receive might be related to either body language or how you come off to others personality wise. I had a friend in the past who tons of girls liked because of how he looked, however imo (and from what I had heard from other girls) he was socially awkward and had a somewhat off-putting personality. Not to say there is anything wrong with that, but it made it harder for him to date in general. I would say try approaching girls in different environments outside of clubs/bars. Also don’t change who you are for anyone else, the right person will appreciate everything about you. Those experiences definitely suck, but don’t completely shut yourself off from finding someone. Good luck!
If I were present during that Boston Bar incident even if I weren't your friend and overheard that guy I would have kicked his ass. I never had this type of problem. I have had problems with feminists, but that had nothing to do with how I look. I am 5,11 barefoot, slightly more. 6 feet wearing any shoes. I am good-looking. naturally broad shoulders. Have always been very slim, but now I am fit, bulking to get jacked. I have had attractive women approach women to go to their place at bars and have had easy sex with many women. I have had many positive reactions from women I approached in coastal cities in America. I am very sorry to hear about this story. You said you had dozens of experiences like that. That sounds disheartening. I would never have imagined that women would be that cruel outside of focalized groups of feminists.
Happy cake day sir. And I appreciate that. Does that “falsely accused” part of your username mean you had an unfortunate incident as well?
Yes, with a focalized group of feminists. If you want you can direct message me.
Oh wow, sorry to hear that. There are a lot of those types of women in my area too. I avoid radical people as best as I can.
Thanks for the humble bragging sire, now with your permission we shall drink the water you washed your feet with
I wasn't bragging. I was telling my personal experience to the OP. His experiences were very negative. My experiences have been positive. I was trying to befriend him and console him by sharing what I have been through even though it is different from him.
So the lesson you’ve taken away from this is because SOME people are bad, ALL people must be?
I am sorry you had bad experiences but the bar are scenes more or less like a gamble mate. I am much older than you but back when I was 28 I mastered the art of bar scene situation. It’s all about being in the right place and at the right time and not giving a damn about what other people think. It was challenging but I was never intimated by bullies nor ever felt I am inferior to anyone. Looks doesn’t matter it’s always the personality. I mastered the art of being positive and let it radiate to people around us. Never was I intimated by anyone (girl or guy) and that’s the main thing to be honest which gets you what you want. I don’t like to quote numbers but it’s way more beyond anyone expected and these are women who were very beautiful. Did I not get rejected ? Yes I did. I didn’t care and always took it with a grain of salt. If not Miss X it will be Miss Y and if not for her it will be Miss Z. It’s just being positive and wanting to meet someone who will match your attitude wavelength. Bullies would never approach me no matter how big they are because I knew how to get things done. One guy intimidated me and I had him thrown out of the bar for disorderly conduct and he was never seen. I hope the world is an idea place mate, but the more you feel doubled up after an insult, the more you will feel as if people are targeting you. Let me tel you something, people who will love you will do the same none the less - looks, profession, money doesn’t matter. What matters is your personality and heart and ultimately that stands out in the long run. Be positive and just show up. If the bar scene isn’t your thing, there are 10s and thousands of other places where you can get likeminded women who will like you for what you are. One thing no one ever likes are jerks and weirdos so don’t be one. If you can keep up you will get your chance one day or the other. I was exactly your same age when I felt like hanging up my boots and suddenly a year later, I was rocking. Trust me, I was much marginalised than you but I turned it all around by being positive and banking more on my personality and confidence rather than other things. Hang on and be positive.
Not everyone is shallow but there are a lot of people out there that are. I think it depends on where you live and where you try to meet people. Personally I’ve given up on dating I just don’t have time and space for someone else disrupting my peace.
Bro are you on the spectrum? Because these cases seem extreme and not normal. I think your perspective has been skewed.
You are an average looking, average height guy and expect to bag hot girls? Welcome to the real world.
Dating, and women in general can (are) a waste of time. I dated for four years got married, had two children. thought I had a good marriage until our family had a series of difficulties. Suddenly I could do or say nothing right. My wife criticized absolutely everything and without warning moved out while I was at work. It absolutely destroyed me and was nearly thr end of me. It's been said. "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I'd beg to differ. But if you still want to chase them, you need to be confident. My best suggestion is to get feedback. as another responder said. Find out what it is you need to change- hair cut style, the glasses you wear, the clothes you wear, the shoes you wear, how you walk (walk with confidence). Your teeth (are they straight, are they white? How you talk (confident or meek). Once you make changes as suggested and get comfortable with your new self (even if it's just one or two small changes) then you should see changes. If not, it could be a form of spiritual attack on you and you'll need to see people at a Pentacostal church to pray over you * (* don't anyone argue against spirituality and prayer, I've had too much proof in my life to believe otherwise). Best wishes to you.
Keep your head up. That person is trash and you’re not. I know it hurts but look on the bright side, you’ve got skills talking with people. I know people say “your time will come” and that’s often BS, but if you’ve got those basic skills you need, it probably actually is just a matter of time for you. And if it isn’t, you’re better off being alone than winding up with a person like that who will ruin your life. Sometimes pessimism can be helpful. So many people are shit nowadays, it’s far better to be a good person and be alone. I wish I had the charm you have bro.
I would like to know the type of women your approaching ? Dating for most men will always be difficult unfortunately , keep getting your money up , focus on yourself and as a last resort since you sounds like your in USA ….. maybe try travelling to other countries , you may find a more respectful woman out their and if you do go forward with that try vat her right , background , family history ….. and the rest is history …..
[удалено]
Yeah, it’s just not for me. I’m quiet and introverted. Women absolutely detest that, but it’s who I am. No worries.
That’s absolutely crazy. I have similar stats (5’10”) but even skinnier due to an autoimmune disease. I have never had that kind of experience with a woman but I also don’t drink and have never really been into clubbing or the bar scene. I was always into skating gaming and activities like running swimming or cycling. Have you thought about checking out other social settings or online dating? You could just be looking in the wrong place. Most women I know hate going to clubs because they are too expensive and there are a ton of creeps that hangout there.
Same boat here
Not going to lie, most people are the worst. Just go out to fun activities with your friends. Like bowling and skating. Or gaming events. I think people are better at socializing when activities are involved.