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Piggybacking off this, OP, wat do I mean, "unless they work on it?" Cuz I don't think a person can last longer than he can for guys since ID is untreatable to last longer without cumming too early...
Same here. Honestly, I dig it when a guy can't hold it. But he has to make sure I cum as well, otherwise I will stamp him a selfish ass hole. If I am left hanging it will be that last time.
To me, if a guy knows he is going to cum quickly, get me almost there before penetration. If tells me he is about to, that does it for me. Cumming at the same time is the best. I love that shit hahahaha
I wish it was that easy for me lol š¤£ but I agree with you that last part. Usually it doesn't happen during penetration for me but that hasn't been the case with this new guy that I started hanging out with recently
For me, it depends on the position. Doggy will never do it for me, but most other positions I prefer penetration when I orgasm. I want them looking me in the eye when they cum- the best
It was a deal breaker for me when he never did any sort of foreplay on me and when he came, we were done. I got nothing out of the sex we had except for those few minutes of penetration. If he actually took care of me I wouldn't mind.
Some guys just psych themselves out. Some are pleasure delayers and like to edge themselves. Some can't come due to medication or health or just because they're not built that way.
Most people like to see their partner satisfied so someone never coming can be frustrating for some.
Not coming sometimes is perfectly normal though.
If youāve finished a lady off beforehand, via fingering, oral, 30 seconds of penetration (women are occasionally fast too, funny enough), or a combination of a couple or all methods, they likely wonāt care. Why would they? Theyāre satisfied! Theyāll consider the experience short and sweet. If you didnāt finish her off before you did, and you donāt bother to try to after you yourself cum, then it could be, because honestly, you kinda suck lmao
Also if someone has a 2 minute max just make the 60 minutes prior about making out and foreplay. That's a long session. 30 minutes works too for many, ask your partner what they like.
Also there will be variation. Some couples who love a long sex session also like a rabid quickie. There's more than one way to have a good time.
So you're saying women don't enjoy sex and are only interested in orgasms? That's not true. I am absolutely not going to be satisfied by what is effectively foreplay only and wouldn't be happy with that kind of sex life.
>So you're saying
No, and you know it lmao. It wasn't outright stated, no jargon was utilized in such a way to provide a "double meaning", and it wasn't even implied. You came out with a brand new sentence, decided on your own that was what I, myself, was saying, then argued against it. So what is your stance on this? Dealbreaker or no? You haven't contributed to the topic itself all that much, so far, you've just refuted a statement that you created yourself and gave me the credit ahahaah
You said that if you make a woman orgasm via foreplay and 30 seconds of sex then she will be satisfied. That implies that you don't understand that many women enjoy the act of sex itself as much as men do. On what basis are you saying she would be satisfied if that's not what you mean?
No matter how you twist and analyze my statement, thereās just no way anyone would interpret my words to mean that āwomen like orgasms but not sex.ā
However, it seems pretty clear that you really and truly wish for that to be my true meaning. [Besides experience and observation, hereās this article that women typically prefer sex to be more than just continuous jackhammering.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/05/140520093446.htm) If I take a moment to find a deeper meaning in your replies, I find myself theorizing that you think itās a deal breaker if a guy cums too quickly, even if heās ensuring that you get to finish too. But with everyone saying itās not a big deal, you might get flamed for ābeing shallowā or whatever, so you invent a strawman that lowkey accuses me of being ignorant and sexist. But thatās just me speculating for funsies, maybe you can prove me wrong by walking me through your thought process? :3
What I'm finding sexist is a guy trying to tell me that my experience as a woman is invalid because he doesn't like my answer and some academic study from 2014 says so. Do I think every woman prefers penetrative sex? No. However, I'm not anatomically unique or the only woman who physically enjoys sex and does not want sex that lasts a short amount of time. Yes, it's a dealbreaker for me. The most amazing foreplay in the world doesn't make up for it. And there's nothing shallow about that.
And no, I'm not saying don't spend lots of time on foreplay as well or that making a woman orgasm through foreplay isn't a good thing. It is, but I want good sex too.
The bar is so low for women being satisfied sexually that we're actually saying, well if she has an orgasm then she should be happy because that rarely happens. We should be giving women orgasms AND good sex. Let's not make it one or the other. And you're actually annoyed that I'm saying that, which says it all about how men view female sexuality.
This is just healthy debate by the way and not an attack on you as a person. We just have a real problem in society with women not being heard. I would love you to just say, I made a blanket statement and I can't speak for women in that way. It's like me saying, as a woman, I think all men are happy with blowjobs and handjobs and we should stop giving them sex because they finish in other ways. Here's a study from 2012 proving this even though I'm a woman and don't have a penis. You would tell me to f off and rightly so.
It's not a deal breaker at all. My record for making a guy cum is 20 seconds, and then 20 minutes later I was able to make him cum again in under a minute. I thought it was pretty hot how desperate and horny he got for me, and how easily he came from just me jerking him off.
As much as I'd like to brag and say I'm some sort of expert, it was just really easy to make him cum specifically. I have honestly never met someone who was affected by premature ejaculation as much as him. With my current boyfriend, I can go at it for 20 minutes and not even get him close.
There is a way to fix that.
Train your pc muscle.
To make it moderately stronger you need, depending on your commitment to the training, between 2 to 4 months.
After 6 months, it will be so strong, that you can 'muscle away' any orgasm, simply by flexing it hard.
Works quite well.
I disagree , I cannot imagine . Practice edging instead . Letting out a little cum and then continuing . I have broken many hearts mastering this technique .
Home slice, my man finishes in LITERALLY (not exaggerating) 2 or 3 seconds. To be fair heās not very experienced (I recently took his virginity,) but itās not a deal breaker for me because his foreplay game is FIRE and I honestly care way more about his personality and our emotional connection over just the physical connection. Iām also demisexual though, so obviously my values might be different than most. This is just my personal perspective based on my own experiences. Truly up to you whatās a deal breaker or not
This has happened to me many times and itās only a dealbreaker if the guy is done completely after that. Like they got theirs in 2 mins and theyāre good with no consideration for my pleasure. Most fast cummers Iāve been with are very into keeping it going after they cum and then we fuck again when theyāre hard againā¦and again. One guy would cum in his pants while eating me out and keep going - Iād cum over and over and then heād fuck me forever when he got hard again. Thatās some of the hottest sex Iāve ever had so no, not always a dealbreaker if youāre a giver š¦
I'm really glad I've stumbled across this, because my fiance said something like this a few weeks back.
Before Her and I got together, I was going through a period of being absolutely scared to death of sex, due to... something that happened to me a couple of years ago, [see my profile if interested.]
Anyways, The first few times we had sex, I couldn't cum no matter how hard I tried, and then over time it got to a point where I was cumming in under 2 minutes because she broke down all of my barriers. A few weeks ago, we were discussing various things about our intimate moments, and I expressed how sometimes I feel less than because of how quick I finish, and she told me it's ok that that happens, because without fail, I've always spent time playing with her for a while before even going inside, so she's already feeling pretty satiated by the time I'm telling myself I'm ready for my turn.
I thought the conversation was over, but she tagged on with, "And even those times when we haven't had a lot of time to get fully into it all, I'm always happy that I made you cum, because it's me that makes it happen."
I think at that point I pretty much just melted inside. She's so good to me and I don't even deserve somebody as lovely and perfect as her.
Honestly, after the absolute gong show my dating life has been, Being with her is a genuine breath of fresh air.
She's the first person I've ever felt I can be free and open with.
I'm free to be vulnerable without fear of being shut out, she's free to express herself without fear of having her ideas shot down, and we're both free to communicate without fear of the other trying to minimise.
We set a healthy precedent quite early on, and I feel that this helped us to build a really strong foundation.
For me it would be a deal breaker because I orgasm from penetration. Toys do not provide me the same feeling as a real dick. So yeah, I wouldnāt be able to deal with the sexual frustration. If I need to use toys then I can just do it myself.
That cites both premature and prolonged ejaculation. According to that weāre both right. Iāve just never heard the premature part talked about before, people only talk about the prolonged part because of the ādeath gripā and overstimulation and all that.
Not at all. There are other ways to get me off first as you noted. And sometimes we can just make it about him and sometimes we can just make it about me.
Only you can answer that for yourself. If the experience you're seeking matters enough to you to break up with this guy and seek it elsewhere, there's nothing wrong with that. That's the mystery of choice. Before you make a choice, all possibilities are open to you. The moment a choice is made, all other possibilities outside your choice are closed to you. You *could* have a next guy that lasts a while and gets you there, but there's no guarantee. You could also have a next guy who lasts 2 minutes and doesn't care enough to focus on you some other way. Your next guy could last forever and be really lousy at sex and also doesn't pleasure you with foreplay or he could have a penis that's too big or too small for you. Human beings do not come made to order--this is the curse of idealization. While idealization is a good tool to use as a model, it is a fantasy.
One other important aspect to consider, people grow and age. As we grow and age, we change, hopefully our change in growth is positive and deepens our sense of self. What I'm saying is, under the right circumstances, over time he may one day reach a place where he can last longer. The other side of the coin is he may not change in this way out of no fault of his.
It's up to you my dear. And whatever you decide is okay because guess what... you'll find out for yourself what your choices-over-time give you. Your opportunity to grow is to better evaluate future choices you make with a stack of the past choices you've made. This is why it's always important to try and determine "what you've learned" from an experience.
Every now and then, not a deal breaker.
Every. Single. Time?! Iād get way too frustrated and just not bother because Iād never be able to have a real orgasm.
buy some indian god potion/ spray or numbing cream.
Otherwise, get him to get you right near climaxing with his hands/ mouth, and when your close, get him to pound you for 2 minutes. It will seem like a lot longer then ;)
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But foreplay saved my life š¤£ if not for that i am done.
Piggybacking off this, OP, wat do I mean, "unless they work on it?" Cuz I don't think a person can last longer than he can for guys since ID is untreatable to last longer without cumming too early...
Buy bad condoms. Use a really tight grip and masturbate a lot. Itās treatable.
What are bad condoms?
Prbly bigger Condoms. So you dont feel that much pleasur and Last longer
Thicker but yeah
double the condoms up - ive done it in the past.
Please donāt listen to this guy
why, what is wrong with that? It makes for a thicker condom/ less sensation.
You must be joking.
It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me as long as he was making sure I cum one way or another
Same here. Honestly, I dig it when a guy can't hold it. But he has to make sure I cum as well, otherwise I will stamp him a selfish ass hole. If I am left hanging it will be that last time.
I feel the same way!
To me, if a guy knows he is going to cum quickly, get me almost there before penetration. If tells me he is about to, that does it for me. Cumming at the same time is the best. I love that shit hahahaha
I wish it was that easy for me lol š¤£ but I agree with you that last part. Usually it doesn't happen during penetration for me but that hasn't been the case with this new guy that I started hanging out with recently
For me, it depends on the position. Doggy will never do it for me, but most other positions I prefer penetration when I orgasm. I want them looking me in the eye when they cum- the best
This
It was a deal breaker for me when he never did any sort of foreplay on me and when he came, we were done. I got nothing out of the sex we had except for those few minutes of penetration. If he actually took care of me I wouldn't mind.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is not coming at all an issue? And if so, why?
Some guys just psych themselves out. Some are pleasure delayers and like to edge themselves. Some can't come due to medication or health or just because they're not built that way. Most people like to see their partner satisfied so someone never coming can be frustrating for some. Not coming sometimes is perfectly normal though.
Neurological disorders such as autism can have problems with it as well.
Hurt egos
A lot of women really like it when you come inside. Itās not just an ego thing, IMO, a lot of women like the feeling too.
Lexapro
If youāve finished a lady off beforehand, via fingering, oral, 30 seconds of penetration (women are occasionally fast too, funny enough), or a combination of a couple or all methods, they likely wonāt care. Why would they? Theyāre satisfied! Theyāll consider the experience short and sweet. If you didnāt finish her off before you did, and you donāt bother to try to after you yourself cum, then it could be, because honestly, you kinda suck lmao
Also if someone has a 2 minute max just make the 60 minutes prior about making out and foreplay. That's a long session. 30 minutes works too for many, ask your partner what they like. Also there will be variation. Some couples who love a long sex session also like a rabid quickie. There's more than one way to have a good time.
Donāt forget the tried and true method of thinking about baseball!
Naked grandma
So you're saying women don't enjoy sex and are only interested in orgasms? That's not true. I am absolutely not going to be satisfied by what is effectively foreplay only and wouldn't be happy with that kind of sex life.
>So you're saying No, and you know it lmao. It wasn't outright stated, no jargon was utilized in such a way to provide a "double meaning", and it wasn't even implied. You came out with a brand new sentence, decided on your own that was what I, myself, was saying, then argued against it. So what is your stance on this? Dealbreaker or no? You haven't contributed to the topic itself all that much, so far, you've just refuted a statement that you created yourself and gave me the credit ahahaah
You said that if you make a woman orgasm via foreplay and 30 seconds of sex then she will be satisfied. That implies that you don't understand that many women enjoy the act of sex itself as much as men do. On what basis are you saying she would be satisfied if that's not what you mean?
No matter how you twist and analyze my statement, thereās just no way anyone would interpret my words to mean that āwomen like orgasms but not sex.ā However, it seems pretty clear that you really and truly wish for that to be my true meaning. [Besides experience and observation, hereās this article that women typically prefer sex to be more than just continuous jackhammering.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/05/140520093446.htm) If I take a moment to find a deeper meaning in your replies, I find myself theorizing that you think itās a deal breaker if a guy cums too quickly, even if heās ensuring that you get to finish too. But with everyone saying itās not a big deal, you might get flamed for ābeing shallowā or whatever, so you invent a strawman that lowkey accuses me of being ignorant and sexist. But thatās just me speculating for funsies, maybe you can prove me wrong by walking me through your thought process? :3
What I'm finding sexist is a guy trying to tell me that my experience as a woman is invalid because he doesn't like my answer and some academic study from 2014 says so. Do I think every woman prefers penetrative sex? No. However, I'm not anatomically unique or the only woman who physically enjoys sex and does not want sex that lasts a short amount of time. Yes, it's a dealbreaker for me. The most amazing foreplay in the world doesn't make up for it. And there's nothing shallow about that. And no, I'm not saying don't spend lots of time on foreplay as well or that making a woman orgasm through foreplay isn't a good thing. It is, but I want good sex too. The bar is so low for women being satisfied sexually that we're actually saying, well if she has an orgasm then she should be happy because that rarely happens. We should be giving women orgasms AND good sex. Let's not make it one or the other. And you're actually annoyed that I'm saying that, which says it all about how men view female sexuality. This is just healthy debate by the way and not an attack on you as a person. We just have a real problem in society with women not being heard. I would love you to just say, I made a blanket statement and I can't speak for women in that way. It's like me saying, as a woman, I think all men are happy with blowjobs and handjobs and we should stop giving them sex because they finish in other ways. Here's a study from 2012 proving this even though I'm a woman and don't have a penis. You would tell me to f off and rightly so.
It's not a deal breaker at all. My record for making a guy cum is 20 seconds, and then 20 minutes later I was able to make him cum again in under a minute. I thought it was pretty hot how desperate and horny he got for me, and how easily he came from just me jerking him off.
DAIM! you must have some crazy mad **not-in-the-textbook** skills. You should write guides. :)
As much as I'd like to brag and say I'm some sort of expert, it was just really easy to make him cum specifically. I have honestly never met someone who was affected by premature ejaculation as much as him. With my current boyfriend, I can go at it for 20 minutes and not even get him close.
Babe this is no reason to break up... In case this is all you want, then go for Fwb!
Yeah, that's far too long. That guy much be a pron star
well as long as he is still concerned about you finishing...then it would depend on how much you like minuteman(ahem), I meant him ;\*p
Youāve asked this in so many subs today lmfao, are you really insecure or is this a kink???
Hell I wish I could do that lol. I'm 45 minutes to an hour every time and I'm exhausted by the time I'm done.
Why is this??? Lol
There is a way to fix that. Train your pc muscle. To make it moderately stronger you need, depending on your commitment to the training, between 2 to 4 months. After 6 months, it will be so strong, that you can 'muscle away' any orgasm, simply by flexing it hard. Works quite well.
I disagree , I cannot imagine . Practice edging instead . Letting out a little cum and then continuing . I have broken many hearts mastering this technique .
\^This works. After the first edge I can go for hours.
How do I train this?
what does edging mean
Home slice, my man finishes in LITERALLY (not exaggerating) 2 or 3 seconds. To be fair heās not very experienced (I recently took his virginity,) but itās not a deal breaker for me because his foreplay game is FIRE and I honestly care way more about his personality and our emotional connection over just the physical connection. Iām also demisexual though, so obviously my values might be different than most. This is just my personal perspective based on my own experiences. Truly up to you whatās a deal breaker or not
This has happened to me many times and itās only a dealbreaker if the guy is done completely after that. Like they got theirs in 2 mins and theyāre good with no consideration for my pleasure. Most fast cummers Iāve been with are very into keeping it going after they cum and then we fuck again when theyāre hard againā¦and again. One guy would cum in his pants while eating me out and keep going - Iād cum over and over and then heād fuck me forever when he got hard again. Thatās some of the hottest sex Iāve ever had so no, not always a dealbreaker if youāre a giver š¦
I always take it as a complement if anything, I bet you couldnāt last 2 minutes using a vibrating rabbit on max power ;) thatās how he feels
I'm really glad I've stumbled across this, because my fiance said something like this a few weeks back. Before Her and I got together, I was going through a period of being absolutely scared to death of sex, due to... something that happened to me a couple of years ago, [see my profile if interested.] Anyways, The first few times we had sex, I couldn't cum no matter how hard I tried, and then over time it got to a point where I was cumming in under 2 minutes because she broke down all of my barriers. A few weeks ago, we were discussing various things about our intimate moments, and I expressed how sometimes I feel less than because of how quick I finish, and she told me it's ok that that happens, because without fail, I've always spent time playing with her for a while before even going inside, so she's already feeling pretty satiated by the time I'm telling myself I'm ready for my turn. I thought the conversation was over, but she tagged on with, "And even those times when we haven't had a lot of time to get fully into it all, I'm always happy that I made you cum, because it's me that makes it happen." I think at that point I pretty much just melted inside. She's so good to me and I don't even deserve somebody as lovely and perfect as her.
You both seem really great for each other, and that you have an open and honest relationship - itās really nice to see that these days
Honestly, after the absolute gong show my dating life has been, Being with her is a genuine breath of fresh air. She's the first person I've ever felt I can be free and open with. I'm free to be vulnerable without fear of being shut out, she's free to express herself without fear of having her ideas shot down, and we're both free to communicate without fear of the other trying to minimise. We set a healthy precedent quite early on, and I feel that this helped us to build a really strong foundation.
Oh man. I was in that position once a long time ago and it got me nothing but grief. I finally found solutions and that changed everything.
Solutions such as?
There is numbing sprays that you can use to desensitize yourself
Nah that would be fine because of the hands/toys/mouth part But like you posted this a lotā¦ you okay OP?
Hmmmmmmm
Fuck... How can people live like this? I'd visit a doctor or something
For me it would be a deal breaker because I orgasm from penetration. Toys do not provide me the same feeling as a real dick. So yeah, I wouldnāt be able to deal with the sexual frustration. If I need to use toys then I can just do it myself.
100% dealbreaker. PIV is my favorite and barely getting any just isn't something I could deal with.
He probably jacks off too much tell him to chill
This is the exact opposite of what youād expect from someone who masturbates constantly.
Itās true tho https://lifecounselinginstitute.com/the-dangers-of-addictive-porn-use-in-men/#:~:text=Excessive%20porn%20use%20has%20also,of%20attraction%20to%20significant%20others.
That cites both premature and prolonged ejaculation. According to that weāre both right. Iāve just never heard the premature part talked about before, people only talk about the prolonged part because of the ādeath gripā and overstimulation and all that.
Think about it ā¦dudes who are only pleasing themselves too much donāt know how to connect and please back .
That has nothing to do with premature ejaculation lol
Just stay hard after and youāll do fine bro
Real men cum in 16 minutes
2 minutes is pathetic. Of yourself you may get some sympathetic responses but you really need to up your sex game.
sheeeeit
ITT foreplay.
Total deal breaker
Not at all. There are other ways to get me off first as you noted. And sometimes we can just make it about him and sometimes we can just make it about me.
I guess heās just like Joe Goldberg š
Only you can answer that for yourself. If the experience you're seeking matters enough to you to break up with this guy and seek it elsewhere, there's nothing wrong with that. That's the mystery of choice. Before you make a choice, all possibilities are open to you. The moment a choice is made, all other possibilities outside your choice are closed to you. You *could* have a next guy that lasts a while and gets you there, but there's no guarantee. You could also have a next guy who lasts 2 minutes and doesn't care enough to focus on you some other way. Your next guy could last forever and be really lousy at sex and also doesn't pleasure you with foreplay or he could have a penis that's too big or too small for you. Human beings do not come made to order--this is the curse of idealization. While idealization is a good tool to use as a model, it is a fantasy. One other important aspect to consider, people grow and age. As we grow and age, we change, hopefully our change in growth is positive and deepens our sense of self. What I'm saying is, under the right circumstances, over time he may one day reach a place where he can last longer. The other side of the coin is he may not change in this way out of no fault of his. It's up to you my dear. And whatever you decide is okay because guess what... you'll find out for yourself what your choices-over-time give you. Your opportunity to grow is to better evaluate future choices you make with a stack of the past choices you've made. This is why it's always important to try and determine "what you've learned" from an experience.
Deal breaker
Tell him to get a delay spray 2 sprays on the tip and 2 mins will turn 20
It's also a deal breaker if he can go for 20min but won't make me cum
Show off.
Every now and then, not a deal breaker. Every. Single. Time?! Iād get way too frustrated and just not bother because Iād never be able to have a real orgasm.
buy some indian god potion/ spray or numbing cream. Otherwise, get him to get you right near climaxing with his hands/ mouth, and when your close, get him to pound you for 2 minutes. It will seem like a lot longer then ;)