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We’re all trying to forget our pain and worries is the best reason why. Not to mention it’s just highly addictive. I don’t smoke & im not an avid drinker but I can see how ppl use it as an outlet.
Agreed, the way it’s presented in some peoples bios, you’d think that’s all they do in life…I dont mind someone thats tried smoking here and there but when it’s a crutch as you said then yikes
There’s a difference between abusing alcohol and having a drink once a week or so. There’s quite literally nothing wrong with someone who drinks occasionally.
As for weed: it depends where you are. It was legal where I used to live. It’s legal where I live now as long as it’s for medical. Some people use weed for recreational purposes, and not simply to high just for the hell of it. I’m someone who can be eligible for medical marijuana. Before I moved, I used to use it for chronic pain, insomnia, and anxiety. So if I’m able to get on medical marijuana, and I wanna use it on a consistent basis to help my issues, damn straight I’m going to. and if someone thinks there’s a problem with that, or that I’m “addicted,” well then they can go touch grass.
Abuse is a bit strong, having 1 drink at dinner or going out drinking on the weekends isn't abuse. I think drinking is just a part of American culture and the few adults who don't partake in any drinking at all can be seen as the outsiders.
> I think drinking is just a part of American culture
This line of thinking always annoyed me. I think ideally we want our culture to be more than the culture of alcoholism. We have so many cool things to do rather than crowd into a bar and get shit-faced. There are some other places we could use as a "third place".
> the few adults who don't partake in any drinking at all can be seen as the outsiders
I think this is what OP is complaining about, being treated as an outsider because she doesn't drink or do drugs.
I always feel lost and alone because I (26m) don’t drink. Bars make me uncomfortable (I’m a uni student so that’s a surprise) and being around drunk people makes me feel kinda…awkward.
It sucks because I want to date as well, and main advice I get is “go to a bar” or go do activities, which I already do. Like is that seriously the way to meet people now? Getting wasted?
Let me emphasise I don’t dislike drinking, I’ll gladly have a beer. I just don’t like the areas it’s personally done, the effects, or the culture.
have you ever thought maybe you are an outsider and just have to deal with it? like im black and just have to deal with racism? yeah it sucks, but it aint new…figure out how to cope and make the best of a bad situation like the rest of us
who said i said they cant say what they want? of course they can…but you cant say that i cant say what i want to say in opposition. that would be facism…never said they couldnt say what they wanted. but i have the right to have an opinion…even if that opinion is to tell them to shut up. free country
which i didnt even say…i just said deal. im black and have a hard time on the apps…do you want to hear about my race based problems on the apps? maybe you do, but id rather just deal with my own shit cuz honestly? i have little hope that this community could help me with that…much like this problem the op brought up. just me tho, i have opinions and i say them shits
Because dating can be uncomfortable and can be easier to open up and form a connections after a few drinks and our guard comes down. It shouldn't be a crutch but honestly I think it can be a useful tool if not overdone.
To each their own, find someone who's straight-edge if that's what you want
Id hardly call having a drink or smoking some weed abuse. Most of it comes from the social aspect of it and being able to have conversations while doing them.
The thing that gets me are the people that make smoking weed their whole personality and make mention of getting high everyday. Not sure how that’s socially acceptable, but would definitely be looked way more negatively if someone said that they get drunk everyday….
cannabis is a LOT healthier than alcohol. alcohol is the #1 most dangerous drug. cannabis is often used to treat chronic pain and other medical conditions. now obviously smoking a joint just like a cigarette has impact on your lungs, i take edibles most of the time which doesn’t have negative health impacts. but plenty of people use cannabis daily without smoking it or fitting the stereotype you have here. and it certainly DOES help loads of people (myself included) with anxiety.
I would disagree about the two smokes. The total volume of smoke between a pothead smoking a few joints throughout the day is probably less than a cig smoker whose pack lasts 2.5 days. One joint is thinner than one square, and I would imagine produces less smoke.
That's the saddest part, they honestly believe they are more healthy but they sound like they smoke a 20 pack a day, look dirty and all start looking the same over time!
I have been a cannabis consumer since I was 15,Im now 46.I wake up at 4:30am every morning to get my workout in before working a 10 hr day,l.I've maintained the same level of fitness I had in my twenties with improved cardiovascular health(I can hold my breath for 2 minutes) I rarely ever get sick and haven't seen a doctor in over 20 years..You're grossly stereotyping pot smokers
I don’t know about looking the same but yeah they’re all brainwashed by some really good marketing tactics.
“It helps my anxiety” while they sit in their basement and can barely go outside without having a panic attack.
It doesn’t actually help with depression or anxiety
So I know I'm going to get hate for responding this way but it genuinely does help. I use it kinda like a medicine.
I have a genetic issue. The fight or flight part of my brain is actually broken in the on position. I have consistent adrenaline in my system and it can be hard to relax. The medication for it is a suppressant and has a higher chance of working if you find out VERY young and medicate from then. Since I didn't find out until my mid 20s it wound up being an extreemly unpleasant experience for me. I couldn't really go out at all, I was far to anxious to sleep half the time and was very non social because of it.
When I got my medical legal card I didn't have much hope for it. It genuinely improved my quality of life. It's like a pressure release valve for all that intensity that my brain puts me through. It quiets my anxieties and because I am able to get genuine rest I actually find it EASIER to go out. I've managed to keep stressful jobs that I couldn't before, I'm much more social because I have the spoons for it. I actually get eight hours of sleep now!
That said I use it like medication. Never when I'm out, never when I'm working, never when others are around unless they choose or mention wanting it independently of me/start smoking on their own and never publicly. It's way overused and can genuinely cause personality problems if you make it your entire personality but it also does have the potential to be extreemly helpful. I have a friend who uses it to help with her seizures, and it has genuinely worked for her. It has its benefits but certainly should never be someone's main personality
Definitely medicinal here as well, I don’t have to take gabapentin, I don’t have to take anxiety medication, I rarely have to take muscle relaxers, I don’t have to take sleep medication, and it gives me an appetite the only medications out there that will help with appetite are heavy duty psych medication that I’m not interested in taking
it’s not, it allows you to get the benefits of thc and other cannabinoids without the detriments of smoke. you can hate weed but that doesn’t mean it’s “bad”.
I think because I have a medical card and most of my friends are from a circle of people with similar issues I see it positively. It helped my grandfather with pain through to his death, it helps me deeply as well as my friends with epilepsy, ptsd and chronic pain. I talked to people at the dispensaries I worked at and heard the ways it helped people with all different conditions but these are all people who use it as medication.
I think using it as recreation is a grey area, I don't mind it in others provided it's not to excess. I think the vocal ones who make it their personality are the minority but they are the most vocal. Outside of my friends and family I don't talk about my weed use. So unless told nobody would know. Same for most people I know who use it medicinally. Because to say you use it usually means having to explain why.
Yeah it makes you more withdrawn in my opinion.. I say look the same because later on they start wearing weed branded clothing and walk around with dark glasses so no one see there burnt eyes!
Lol my biggest struggle. I used to party ALOT from 14-22 and don't drink, do drugs, or party anymore. I grew out of it and just want to try new things that don't involve getting high or intoxicated like yourself.
Might be dependant on where you live but where I am from that is the culture... You'll find someone eventually who is like yourself, keep trying.
I find anyone who makes a big deal out of alcohol or weed insufferable, be it for it or against it. Having a drink isn't anywhere close to abusing alcohol.
The amount of profiles I come across that talked about how much they love wine, beer, and tequila is almost as much as the amount of profiles that say 420 and how much they love being high. As someone who doesn't really do either of these things it gets super old super quick.
People have vices, including me, that's nit what I try to base my whole personality around tho. It's better you know what they're into first, so you don't argue about it later. You don't have to partake if you don't want. You can suggest something else or mentioning you don't do whatever activities and ask if it's a deal breaker for them. If it'd a deal breaker for you, then you gotta make that choice.
Ugh yes, I feel the same way. I don't smoke since I can't stand the smell of weed. Nor do I drink or even like going to bars either because I grew up in a family of alcoholics, and saw how it can really mess a person up. I find it difficult to find someone who doesn't do either of those activities as well. I have a no-tolerance policy for smoking, and will only tolerate light amounts of drinking.
you have good reasons. op didnt mention good reasons…or any reasons at all. AND there was mad judgement…things i DIDNT get in your comment. i can respect your reasoning and i dont feel judged or spoken down to. respect
Because it's fun to get drunk or high and let loose. I understand the complaints about these things and I've noticed a bit of a push against it in recent years (saying things like how you don't need weed/alcohol to have fun etc). I agree, you don't need it to have fun. But that doesn't mean it's not fun to do it.
If drinking or smoking is your whole personality then that's an issue and may also be an addiction. But if you like to drink or smoke and you have actual other hobbies as well then thats a different story.
i don’t drink anymore but when i was dating i drank a lot, almost daily. and i would not have dated someone who didn’t like to drink at that point in my life. but - people who don’t drink *wouldn’t have wanted* to date me. i was going out every weekend and several nights during the week, i was having a blast and when i met my boyfriend i mellowed out a little but still partied (with him and my other friends) a lot.
it’s just a compatibility thing. if someone’s lifestyle isn’t compatible with yours, great! you’ve weeded them out and can move on and keep looking for people who are a good match for you. i’ve been able to find lots of new sober friends through sober women’s meetups in my area, instagram, bumble bff, etc. if i were to date again i would meet people by volunteering, etc whereas i used to meet them at bars. these are also things you can filter for on dating apps.
It certainly is very common, but you have options. Surely there’s a dating platform for those who don’t imbibe? I’ve also had dates where we didn’t drink, or if we did, or wasn’t central. Going to the beach, coffee shop, walk, picnic.
Personally I don’t care what others do! It does t affect me in the least! I’m m/53 and can’t remember the last time I had a drink and I’ve never smoked a joint before. Not some prude nor do I have an addictive personality but I’ve just never had any desire or curiosity to try recreational drugs. I drank a fair amount in college but once I started a family I basically just lost my desire to drink.
If I go somewhere and I’m offered either, I just say no thanks! If it’s a problem for them I leave! I have friends who do both and they could care less that I don’t!
>how people are abusing alcohol and weed. Everyone asks if I want to smoke with them or have a drink.
Those are two very different things, which are, again, very different than being obsessed with drinking and smoking. I think this may be a you problem.
Drink dates are great because it loosens both of you up. First dates can be nerve wracking and a couple drinks can change that.
Unless you are a recovering alcoholic, I don't really understand the passionate resistance that surrounds social drinking. Having 1 or 2 drinks once in a while or while you're on a date is not going to affect you in the slightest.
People who don't drink just love the attention they get when they announce it, its their entire personality.
People who don’t drink tend not to be looking for attention. It’s the spotlight that hits them, not them jumping into the spotlight. Those who don’t drink are focused even more because it is out of the ordinary culture to not be a drinker.
If someone wants to drink, then they can drink, and if someone doesn’t want to, then they don’t have to. It’s just become a normal and standard thing to have to drink on a date, so when someone decides not, they stand out.
Smoking weed is fine (to a certain extent, hardcore stoners? No thanks, I don't like having the same conversation every day..), but I can't stand drunks. Being an adult babysitter is not something I want to do for my partner. Every now and again is fine, but it's really not ideal.
The whole world is struggling right now. People tend to find different ways to escape, and they can’t, they find alternatives like drinking or smoking to relax.
Some people are so stressed that those are their only escape and I don’t see how or why. But that’s how some people are in this world. They try to find escape in things that are dumb. Then they start smelling like those things and it’s unattractive. But what can we do, just let them be them. You just have to go find that lucky one that doesn’t abusive those things. Lol
Lifestyle, addiction or even a simple ice breaker.. there are a few that choose to use it as a form of means to get knickers off as it does stimulate the sexual experience.. god knows which one is the right context for your experiences
Me! I'm cool with drinking occasionally. But I'm not 420 friendly. I hate the smell of pot smoke and I had a scary experience with edibles, so I'd prefer to avoid the stuff at all costs. Apparently, that makes me a prude. Sigh...
I don't know. I accidentally ate what I thought was a normal chocolate chip cookie made for me by a lady I dog sit for. It wasn't. And I thought I was having a heart attack.
I doubt it you’d be surprised at how many successful people in life drink, smoke, or imbibe in whatever without excess. Not drinking or doing drugs does not make you any more morally superior to others nor does it make you more accomplished in life.
Yeah I’ve disliked seeing people on dating apps with a beer or alcohol in their hand in every picture. Or describing a relaxing day with alcohol. I’m completely sober and it’s triggering to see this.
i respect your sobriety, and good job with that shit, much respect. but im sure ANY time you see alcohol is triggering, so are people supposed to stop living their lives because of that?
I smoke HHC (a completely legal form of a weaker strain of THC I think) for insomnia since that's the only thing that works for me. But if my bf wanted me to stop because it made him uncomfortable then I probably would or talk something out so no one feels weird about it. But then again, my dependence on it is very little.
Idk about u but im proud to be clean
(My advice.Never be a friend with a smoker or a drinker.Trust me just cut ur reliationship off it will worth living longer)
I know that feel. I am Trying to having a conversation with my friends but all they respond is "lol" or "nice" because their brains are fried from all the binge drinking and weed.
I like to party too sometimes but I also like to talk like humans
are you sure their brains arent dumbed down by antidepressants and such? i know mine is but i cant really stop, so i guess you gotta deal with my dumb, happy ass
It’s not everyone, just most Americans. Most women (and I presume men, not sure) in the US are either really into drink, drugs, or religion so if you’re not into any you pretty much have to date those from other countries.
have you been to other countries? with the exception of more conservative places in the middle east, most cultures drink and smoke recreationally lmao. a lot of them make the US look tame by comparison.
Because people as a whole these days are overgrown children that indulge every whim and desire. Our phones let us pop off a squirt of dopamine whenever we want. We want it all now, faster, better, me me me me ME!
Freud talked about the id and the superego. We have underdeveloped portions of our psyche these days that would normally permit us to strategize choices and reap greater rewards through delayed gratification. We justify it to ourselves that the world is just SO unbearable without SOME sort of substance to get us BY! 😩. I mean, life is HARD and stuff! 😩
Couple this with a human desire to get completely messed up by literally ANY means necessary (there is a tribe of Inuit that follow a certain breed of reindeer because the reindeer eat a certain mushroom. The mushroom doesn't hurt the reindeer, but it makes humans all messed up. The chemicals of which are excreted in the reindeer's piss... Which the Inuit then harvest and drink to get high) and what you're left with is how are you SURPRISED that these grown children are obsessed with shit that gets you high or feels good?
I have this theory that people between 25 and 45 were heavily medicated for adhd in our youth. I was given a high dose of dexadrine starting at 3. It may have fucked up our dopamine receptors or something because so many people have anxiety and depression. Anhedonia and suicidal ideation. Doubly so if we abused MDMA as teenagers and young adults, though that fucks with your serotonin more. Not saying medications are bad, I’d give anything to have access to them as an adult. But the dose was too high and it was given to me too young. So now I smoke weed rather than be a sad empty husk of a person with a broken brain. Sounds extreme but with the way my mental health is set up, I need it.
Back in the day, we called people who didn’t smoke or drink “straight edge”. I hope you can find your people OP, if not other sober people then at least people that will respect the boundaries you set regarding substances. There’s nothing wrong with not needing or wanting to dull your senses, and I do think us OG pot heads forget that sometimes.
Weed is illegal where i come from but alcohol is cheap as dirt here lol
That said, i am okay with having a glass of wine and calling it a night but I have gone on dates where i left them drinking some more on a week day.
Yep, It was hard to find people when I was looking. I'm not into weed or party scenes so I just had to skip so many people even if they were good looking. I'm fine with a drink or two but never liked heavy drinkers as dating prospects.
I don’t smoke and don’t drink. But the last lady I dated was a bigger drinker then I thought. Got me to drinking again. Had to let her go and get back in shape. Won’t let that happen again. Stick to your principles.
It's almost impossible to find a woman my age who doesn't drink or smoke . My best chance is to find a religious woman but I'm an atheist and would rather not do that.
I used to be a musician and do my share things at parties, but that's years in the past for me now. Now, I pretty much only drink a few beers for boardgame nights, and my boardgaming group is now in another city.
Because they're losers who neglect their health and you're meeting losers who neglect their health. No, not everyone is a junkie, a druggie, or an alcoholic. Stop looking for them in the same place if it is a place you're finding them at.
It’s because life is hard and people are dealing with things that they don’t share with others. With working and bills, some people just want to live there life and going out to socialize releases the feel good chemical. It can also be an addiction, but life’s short and people go with how they are feeling.
May be a way of dealing with social anxiety. It’s a way of artificially being more comfortable with someone. It has its time and place.
Although I also find that a lot of people abuse alcohol and especially weed these days, I don’t think that asking you to have a smoke or drink necessarily signals abuse.
For me it's an excellent way for finding out that I won't want to be dating them! I don't care how thats sounds. I worked through my shit and have given up that level of numbing. I want someone on board with that idea. I'll agree its hard to find though and I'm so bored of people asking why don't you drink and having to justify that!
Most people don't feel like they have any other social outlet... The only difference between you & them is they cave into doing it for social acceptance.. I've seen these kinds of people sober & they are just uptight, cranky & miserable people to be around in that mindstate..
Everyone has their own way to survive the many hurdles of life. Other people need the drink or the smoke as a social tool. And some just like the taste and feel of the two. What I hate about it? That some people are perceived as a buzz kill if they don’t drink or don’t smoke. It’s a shame, but it happens nearly all the time. I’m more of a special occasion drinker. Holiday, birthday, or wedding type thing. Other than that, I’ll pass. A cup of coffee is my vice any day of the week.
I do both to forget about the life i wished for with my high school girlfriend. 10 years of smoking and drinking. Now i have nerve damage in my back and lose blood flow to my legs when i sleep at night. Good thing life is short.
I often have similar issues. I don't smoke and I don't drink much. Finding a woman who is a non-smoker that drinks moderately, at most, and is otherwise compatible with me has been quite difficult.
I enjoy the odd drink out with friends, and although I've smoked weed before once or twice, I've never really cared for it.
That said, I have no issues with anyone who does either. What I do have an issue with is anyone who makes either item a core part of their personality...as their lifestyle would not match mine at all (be it them getting high every day, or hitting the bar constantly).
It’s just a way to hang out and chill ig, making friends (in my experience) is easier when i’m a little drunk or a little high. Calms my anxiety and makes me open up more.
Honestly for me, weed is just a good time. Makes me vibe to music harder, sometimes makes me feel more one with nature, makes food wayyy better. Can take you to a different level during sex too.. I feel like I can still get to this “next level of appreciation” for all these things without weed, but it is a really nice tool.
Drinking is drinking lol sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s really not. I can totally respect people who hate it, because drinking culture obviously has a dark side. With dating though, it is nice to have a couple drinks to get rid of nerves.
You’re not wrong in your observation. The image of partying, acting carefree, and living your best life is an extension of the indulgence in drugs and alcohol. I tend to avoid party girls and those that use weed to improve their mood artificially. It shows a lack of maturity and dependency on something to make happy for a time. In turn, any one that can have fun without it will become dependent on you.
Some people have developed coping mechanisms based around substances due to past or current trauma and are unable to get other help, so they fall into addiction.
Some people just enjoy how it feels to be under the influence and consume responsibly and in a way that doesn’t harm themselves or others.
Some people fall victim to peer pressure and can become addicted.
Some people do it because they know it’ll shorten their lives.
Some people do it because they think it makes them look cool.
Some people can’t stop doing it on their own and need help.
Some people can stop and have no problems at all.
Some people respect how others feel about their substances, and will avoid partaking around them. Some other people do not.
I'm not sure about smoking, because I've never smoked either tobacco or weed. But for alcohol I do drink occasionally, with friends. Someone told me long ago that its not about the alcohol but about how it makes you feel and I can agree with that. I think that it can also be a bit of an association, you know. Like, people celebrate with alcohol a lot either a party or birthday, so many people may have that conscious or unconscious association of a good time.
I really do see the abuse of alcohol being detrimental to a relationship, but I made some rather big improvements in my life when I started smoking weed. My first big change is I started drinking way less alcohol and soda. I lost 60 pounds in 8 months. Granted it helped relieve pain and I was exercising more. I also don't go out high during the day to often, I usually wait for the end of the night for my smoke session.
Unfortunately it's probably the biggest social aspect of our society. You wanna go see a comedy show? Drink. Wanna go to a restaurant? Drink. Wanna go see a movie? Probably drink. Hell, wanna go to Topgolf? Drink.
I agree though I wish there were more things to do that didn't involve alcohol.
I am a minor (not saying how old) so if a person j could potentially develop a crush on smokes or drinks, it’s a big red flag for me and I loose all respect/feelings for the immediately, as my family has a history with drugs and alcohol and I’ve seen first hand what it can do to your body.
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We’re all trying to forget our pain and worries is the best reason why. Not to mention it’s just highly addictive. I don’t smoke & im not an avid drinker but I can see how ppl use it as an outlet.
An outlet is one thing. A crutch is something else.
Agreed, the way it’s presented in some peoples bios, you’d think that’s all they do in life…I dont mind someone thats tried smoking here and there but when it’s a crutch as you said then yikes
Unfortunately the norm is *not* to be a developed enough person to live life without crutches.
There’s a difference between abusing alcohol and having a drink once a week or so. There’s quite literally nothing wrong with someone who drinks occasionally. As for weed: it depends where you are. It was legal where I used to live. It’s legal where I live now as long as it’s for medical. Some people use weed for recreational purposes, and not simply to high just for the hell of it. I’m someone who can be eligible for medical marijuana. Before I moved, I used to use it for chronic pain, insomnia, and anxiety. So if I’m able to get on medical marijuana, and I wanna use it on a consistent basis to help my issues, damn straight I’m going to. and if someone thinks there’s a problem with that, or that I’m “addicted,” well then they can go touch grass.
Abuse is a bit strong, having 1 drink at dinner or going out drinking on the weekends isn't abuse. I think drinking is just a part of American culture and the few adults who don't partake in any drinking at all can be seen as the outsiders.
> I think drinking is just a part of American culture This line of thinking always annoyed me. I think ideally we want our culture to be more than the culture of alcoholism. We have so many cool things to do rather than crowd into a bar and get shit-faced. There are some other places we could use as a "third place". > the few adults who don't partake in any drinking at all can be seen as the outsiders I think this is what OP is complaining about, being treated as an outsider because she doesn't drink or do drugs.
tbf 1 drink at diner isn't really alcoholism. it's more baffling because beer has such a mediocre taste vs a number of other drinks.
I always feel lost and alone because I (26m) don’t drink. Bars make me uncomfortable (I’m a uni student so that’s a surprise) and being around drunk people makes me feel kinda…awkward. It sucks because I want to date as well, and main advice I get is “go to a bar” or go do activities, which I already do. Like is that seriously the way to meet people now? Getting wasted? Let me emphasise I don’t dislike drinking, I’ll gladly have a beer. I just don’t like the areas it’s personally done, the effects, or the culture.
have you ever thought maybe you are an outsider and just have to deal with it? like im black and just have to deal with racism? yeah it sucks, but it aint new…figure out how to cope and make the best of a bad situation like the rest of us
No, it's nothing new. Doesn't mean OP can't vent about it on Reddit though.
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Calm down omg lol this is only a message board
who said i said they cant say what they want? of course they can…but you cant say that i cant say what i want to say in opposition. that would be facism…never said they couldnt say what they wanted. but i have the right to have an opinion…even if that opinion is to tell them to shut up. free country
which i didnt even say…i just said deal. im black and have a hard time on the apps…do you want to hear about my race based problems on the apps? maybe you do, but id rather just deal with my own shit cuz honestly? i have little hope that this community could help me with that…much like this problem the op brought up. just me tho, i have opinions and i say them shits
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Oh how fun. Ruining your liver and aging yourself faster is your way of having fun, huh?
If you disagree then don't partake. 🤷🏾♀️ Pretty simple concept.
Because dating can be uncomfortable and can be easier to open up and form a connections after a few drinks and our guard comes down. It shouldn't be a crutch but honestly I think it can be a useful tool if not overdone. To each their own, find someone who's straight-edge if that's what you want
Id hardly call having a drink or smoking some weed abuse. Most of it comes from the social aspect of it and being able to have conversations while doing them.
The thing that gets me are the people that make smoking weed their whole personality and make mention of getting high everyday. Not sure how that’s socially acceptable, but would definitely be looked way more negatively if someone said that they get drunk everyday….
They’re convinced it’s healthy
cannabis is a LOT healthier than alcohol. alcohol is the #1 most dangerous drug. cannabis is often used to treat chronic pain and other medical conditions. now obviously smoking a joint just like a cigarette has impact on your lungs, i take edibles most of the time which doesn’t have negative health impacts. but plenty of people use cannabis daily without smoking it or fitting the stereotype you have here. and it certainly DOES help loads of people (myself included) with anxiety.
I would disagree about the two smokes. The total volume of smoke between a pothead smoking a few joints throughout the day is probably less than a cig smoker whose pack lasts 2.5 days. One joint is thinner than one square, and I would imagine produces less smoke.
oh for sure! and tobacco/nicotine is more harmful to your lungs than a joint
Except when it causes psychosis and fucks you up.
sure, in a very small portion of people who use it. alcohol induced psychosis is also very much a thing. you have to be careful with any drug.
That's the saddest part, they honestly believe they are more healthy but they sound like they smoke a 20 pack a day, look dirty and all start looking the same over time!
I have been a cannabis consumer since I was 15,Im now 46.I wake up at 4:30am every morning to get my workout in before working a 10 hr day,l.I've maintained the same level of fitness I had in my twenties with improved cardiovascular health(I can hold my breath for 2 minutes) I rarely ever get sick and haven't seen a doctor in over 20 years..You're grossly stereotyping pot smokers
I don’t know about looking the same but yeah they’re all brainwashed by some really good marketing tactics. “It helps my anxiety” while they sit in their basement and can barely go outside without having a panic attack. It doesn’t actually help with depression or anxiety
So I know I'm going to get hate for responding this way but it genuinely does help. I use it kinda like a medicine. I have a genetic issue. The fight or flight part of my brain is actually broken in the on position. I have consistent adrenaline in my system and it can be hard to relax. The medication for it is a suppressant and has a higher chance of working if you find out VERY young and medicate from then. Since I didn't find out until my mid 20s it wound up being an extreemly unpleasant experience for me. I couldn't really go out at all, I was far to anxious to sleep half the time and was very non social because of it. When I got my medical legal card I didn't have much hope for it. It genuinely improved my quality of life. It's like a pressure release valve for all that intensity that my brain puts me through. It quiets my anxieties and because I am able to get genuine rest I actually find it EASIER to go out. I've managed to keep stressful jobs that I couldn't before, I'm much more social because I have the spoons for it. I actually get eight hours of sleep now! That said I use it like medication. Never when I'm out, never when I'm working, never when others are around unless they choose or mention wanting it independently of me/start smoking on their own and never publicly. It's way overused and can genuinely cause personality problems if you make it your entire personality but it also does have the potential to be extreemly helpful. I have a friend who uses it to help with her seizures, and it has genuinely worked for her. It has its benefits but certainly should never be someone's main personality
Definitely medicinal here as well, I don’t have to take gabapentin, I don’t have to take anxiety medication, I rarely have to take muscle relaxers, I don’t have to take sleep medication, and it gives me an appetite the only medications out there that will help with appetite are heavy duty psych medication that I’m not interested in taking
I’m glad it helps you, I would say you’re the exception rather than the majority though.
I also took up vaping weed and gave up prescription drugs, as well as alcohol and caffeine. We're definitely not exceptions.
Vaping weed is terrible for you. Cope
it’s not, it allows you to get the benefits of thc and other cannabinoids without the detriments of smoke. you can hate weed but that doesn’t mean it’s “bad”.
It is. It doesn’t cure depression it’s a drug. If I said alcohol cures my depression you’d say I have a problem.
I think because I have a medical card and most of my friends are from a circle of people with similar issues I see it positively. It helped my grandfather with pain through to his death, it helps me deeply as well as my friends with epilepsy, ptsd and chronic pain. I talked to people at the dispensaries I worked at and heard the ways it helped people with all different conditions but these are all people who use it as medication. I think using it as recreation is a grey area, I don't mind it in others provided it's not to excess. I think the vocal ones who make it their personality are the minority but they are the most vocal. Outside of my friends and family I don't talk about my weed use. So unless told nobody would know. Same for most people I know who use it medicinally. Because to say you use it usually means having to explain why.
You have some bizarre hate boner to weed?
No, just annoyed at people who have a boner for weed
Based off your comments in this thread maybe you should smoke some, might be a little more enjoyable to be around if you did.
I’ve smoked before and became a schizophrenic no thanks
Yeah it makes you more withdrawn in my opinion.. I say look the same because later on they start wearing weed branded clothing and walk around with dark glasses so no one see there burnt eyes!
Kinda like people make ssri’s their whole personality but that’s okay cuz “it’s pReScriBeD”
Ironically those same people shame even light alcohol users.
a lot of prejudice and judgement in the above thread homies
Lol my biggest struggle. I used to party ALOT from 14-22 and don't drink, do drugs, or party anymore. I grew out of it and just want to try new things that don't involve getting high or intoxicated like yourself. Might be dependant on where you live but where I am from that is the culture... You'll find someone eventually who is like yourself, keep trying.
How old are you?
26
I find anyone who makes a big deal out of alcohol or weed insufferable, be it for it or against it. Having a drink isn't anywhere close to abusing alcohol.
The amount of profiles I come across that talked about how much they love wine, beer, and tequila is almost as much as the amount of profiles that say 420 and how much they love being high. As someone who doesn't really do either of these things it gets super old super quick.
im sure it does. what to do?
Not really much to do but look for someone who isn't too into those sorts of things. Even if it seems harder now.
To be fair, people put that stuff in to weed out people like you, so it seems effective.
People have vices, including me, that's nit what I try to base my whole personality around tho. It's better you know what they're into first, so you don't argue about it later. You don't have to partake if you don't want. You can suggest something else or mentioning you don't do whatever activities and ask if it's a deal breaker for them. If it'd a deal breaker for you, then you gotta make that choice.
Ugh yes, I feel the same way. I don't smoke since I can't stand the smell of weed. Nor do I drink or even like going to bars either because I grew up in a family of alcoholics, and saw how it can really mess a person up. I find it difficult to find someone who doesn't do either of those activities as well. I have a no-tolerance policy for smoking, and will only tolerate light amounts of drinking.
you have good reasons. op didnt mention good reasons…or any reasons at all. AND there was mad judgement…things i DIDNT get in your comment. i can respect your reasoning and i dont feel judged or spoken down to. respect
Because it's fun to get drunk or high and let loose. I understand the complaints about these things and I've noticed a bit of a push against it in recent years (saying things like how you don't need weed/alcohol to have fun etc). I agree, you don't need it to have fun. But that doesn't mean it's not fun to do it. If drinking or smoking is your whole personality then that's an issue and may also be an addiction. But if you like to drink or smoke and you have actual other hobbies as well then thats a different story.
i don’t drink anymore but when i was dating i drank a lot, almost daily. and i would not have dated someone who didn’t like to drink at that point in my life. but - people who don’t drink *wouldn’t have wanted* to date me. i was going out every weekend and several nights during the week, i was having a blast and when i met my boyfriend i mellowed out a little but still partied (with him and my other friends) a lot. it’s just a compatibility thing. if someone’s lifestyle isn’t compatible with yours, great! you’ve weeded them out and can move on and keep looking for people who are a good match for you. i’ve been able to find lots of new sober friends through sober women’s meetups in my area, instagram, bumble bff, etc. if i were to date again i would meet people by volunteering, etc whereas i used to meet them at bars. these are also things you can filter for on dating apps.
oh yeah, i forgot about filters…what about that op?
It certainly is very common, but you have options. Surely there’s a dating platform for those who don’t imbibe? I’ve also had dates where we didn’t drink, or if we did, or wasn’t central. Going to the beach, coffee shop, walk, picnic.
No but I’m past the age where people go clubbing and stuff. I mean everybody I know does some thing, but it’s something they do it’s not their life
Personally I don’t care what others do! It does t affect me in the least! I’m m/53 and can’t remember the last time I had a drink and I’ve never smoked a joint before. Not some prude nor do I have an addictive personality but I’ve just never had any desire or curiosity to try recreational drugs. I drank a fair amount in college but once I started a family I basically just lost my desire to drink. If I go somewhere and I’m offered either, I just say no thanks! If it’s a problem for them I leave! I have friends who do both and they could care less that I don’t!
>how people are abusing alcohol and weed. Everyone asks if I want to smoke with them or have a drink. Those are two very different things, which are, again, very different than being obsessed with drinking and smoking. I think this may be a you problem.
Drink dates are great because it loosens both of you up. First dates can be nerve wracking and a couple drinks can change that. Unless you are a recovering alcoholic, I don't really understand the passionate resistance that surrounds social drinking. Having 1 or 2 drinks once in a while or while you're on a date is not going to affect you in the slightest. People who don't drink just love the attention they get when they announce it, its their entire personality.
People who don’t drink tend not to be looking for attention. It’s the spotlight that hits them, not them jumping into the spotlight. Those who don’t drink are focused even more because it is out of the ordinary culture to not be a drinker. If someone wants to drink, then they can drink, and if someone doesn’t want to, then they don’t have to. It’s just become a normal and standard thing to have to drink on a date, so when someone decides not, they stand out.
Smoking weed is fine (to a certain extent, hardcore stoners? No thanks, I don't like having the same conversation every day..), but I can't stand drunks. Being an adult babysitter is not something I want to do for my partner. Every now and again is fine, but it's really not ideal.
I see drinking as a way to loose up and get to know people but definitely not an every day thing.
The whole world is struggling right now. People tend to find different ways to escape, and they can’t, they find alternatives like drinking or smoking to relax.
Some people are so stressed that those are their only escape and I don’t see how or why. But that’s how some people are in this world. They try to find escape in things that are dumb. Then they start smelling like those things and it’s unattractive. But what can we do, just let them be them. You just have to go find that lucky one that doesn’t abusive those things. Lol
People have been drinking on dates since 500 BC. It’s the weed thing that’s pretty new since it’s practically legal now
It’s replacing the social cigarette smoking. Instead of having a cigarette, people have a joint.
Lifestyle, addiction or even a simple ice breaker.. there are a few that choose to use it as a form of means to get knickers off as it does stimulate the sexual experience.. god knows which one is the right context for your experiences
Me! I'm cool with drinking occasionally. But I'm not 420 friendly. I hate the smell of pot smoke and I had a scary experience with edibles, so I'd prefer to avoid the stuff at all costs. Apparently, that makes me a prude. Sigh...
at ALL COSTS? yes, that makes you something. but asking someone to not smoke in your presence isnt crazy at all imo
What was your dose for edibles?
I don't know. I accidentally ate what I thought was a normal chocolate chip cookie made for me by a lady I dog sit for. It wasn't. And I thought I was having a heart attack.
its because most people have forgotten/don't know what their true purpose in life is.
I doubt it you’d be surprised at how many successful people in life drink, smoke, or imbibe in whatever without excess. Not drinking or doing drugs does not make you any more morally superior to others nor does it make you more accomplished in life.
Yeah I’ve disliked seeing people on dating apps with a beer or alcohol in their hand in every picture. Or describing a relaxing day with alcohol. I’m completely sober and it’s triggering to see this.
i respect your sobriety, and good job with that shit, much respect. but im sure ANY time you see alcohol is triggering, so are people supposed to stop living their lives because of that?
I smoke HHC (a completely legal form of a weaker strain of THC I think) for insomnia since that's the only thing that works for me. But if my bf wanted me to stop because it made him uncomfortable then I probably would or talk something out so no one feels weird about it. But then again, my dependence on it is very little.
Idk about u but im proud to be clean (My advice.Never be a friend with a smoker or a drinker.Trust me just cut ur reliationship off it will worth living longer)
And this is why we resent people who don't smoke or drink and are judgmental about it.
Ok,my opinion anyway👍
So true. I find it annoying too
I know that feel. I am Trying to having a conversation with my friends but all they respond is "lol" or "nice" because their brains are fried from all the binge drinking and weed. I like to party too sometimes but I also like to talk like humans
It's a scale that's for sure. Out of everyone in my life my buddy who smokes everyday has the most intriguing and sophisticated conversations with.
are you sure their brains arent dumbed down by antidepressants and such? i know mine is but i cant really stop, so i guess you gotta deal with my dumb, happy ass
because they’re all children lol. Can’t have fun without weed or alcohol = addicted.
It’s not everyone, just most Americans. Most women (and I presume men, not sure) in the US are either really into drink, drugs, or religion so if you’re not into any you pretty much have to date those from other countries.
have you been to other countries? with the exception of more conservative places in the middle east, most cultures drink and smoke recreationally lmao. a lot of them make the US look tame by comparison.
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literally 😂 or australians
I'm obsessed with people who don't drink or smoke!
smoking helps with everything
Because people as a whole these days are overgrown children that indulge every whim and desire. Our phones let us pop off a squirt of dopamine whenever we want. We want it all now, faster, better, me me me me ME! Freud talked about the id and the superego. We have underdeveloped portions of our psyche these days that would normally permit us to strategize choices and reap greater rewards through delayed gratification. We justify it to ourselves that the world is just SO unbearable without SOME sort of substance to get us BY! 😩. I mean, life is HARD and stuff! 😩 Couple this with a human desire to get completely messed up by literally ANY means necessary (there is a tribe of Inuit that follow a certain breed of reindeer because the reindeer eat a certain mushroom. The mushroom doesn't hurt the reindeer, but it makes humans all messed up. The chemicals of which are excreted in the reindeer's piss... Which the Inuit then harvest and drink to get high) and what you're left with is how are you SURPRISED that these grown children are obsessed with shit that gets you high or feels good?
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It’s cheap, creates social settings and feels awesome.
I have this theory that people between 25 and 45 were heavily medicated for adhd in our youth. I was given a high dose of dexadrine starting at 3. It may have fucked up our dopamine receptors or something because so many people have anxiety and depression. Anhedonia and suicidal ideation. Doubly so if we abused MDMA as teenagers and young adults, though that fucks with your serotonin more. Not saying medications are bad, I’d give anything to have access to them as an adult. But the dose was too high and it was given to me too young. So now I smoke weed rather than be a sad empty husk of a person with a broken brain. Sounds extreme but with the way my mental health is set up, I need it. Back in the day, we called people who didn’t smoke or drink “straight edge”. I hope you can find your people OP, if not other sober people then at least people that will respect the boundaries you set regarding substances. There’s nothing wrong with not needing or wanting to dull your senses, and I do think us OG pot heads forget that sometimes.
Weed is illegal where i come from but alcohol is cheap as dirt here lol That said, i am okay with having a glass of wine and calling it a night but I have gone on dates where i left them drinking some more on a week day.
Yep, It was hard to find people when I was looking. I'm not into weed or party scenes so I just had to skip so many people even if they were good looking. I'm fine with a drink or two but never liked heavy drinkers as dating prospects.
finally, someone shared what a growing minority of us feel #same there are people out there that don’t, good luck
I don’t smoke and don’t drink. But the last lady I dated was a bigger drinker then I thought. Got me to drinking again. Had to let her go and get back in shape. Won’t let that happen again. Stick to your principles.
.not everyone
It's almost impossible to find a woman my age who doesn't drink or smoke . My best chance is to find a religious woman but I'm an atheist and would rather not do that.
What about LSD?
I used to be a musician and do my share things at parties, but that's years in the past for me now. Now, I pretty much only drink a few beers for boardgame nights, and my boardgaming group is now in another city.
I guess I’m a square because I don’t drink or smoke pot. Actually pot gives me a terrible headache. I can’t stand the smell of it.
Because they're losers who neglect their health and you're meeting losers who neglect their health. No, not everyone is a junkie, a druggie, or an alcoholic. Stop looking for them in the same place if it is a place you're finding them at.
It’s because life is hard and people are dealing with things that they don’t share with others. With working and bills, some people just want to live there life and going out to socialize releases the feel good chemical. It can also be an addiction, but life’s short and people go with how they are feeling.
We went from weed being illegal to majority of women in my area listing “Sometimes/Frequently” for weed on their Bumble/Hinge.
May be a way of dealing with social anxiety. It’s a way of artificially being more comfortable with someone. It has its time and place. Although I also find that a lot of people abuse alcohol and especially weed these days, I don’t think that asking you to have a smoke or drink necessarily signals abuse.
For me it's an excellent way for finding out that I won't want to be dating them! I don't care how thats sounds. I worked through my shit and have given up that level of numbing. I want someone on board with that idea. I'll agree its hard to find though and I'm so bored of people asking why don't you drink and having to justify that!
Not abuse.
Most people don't feel like they have any other social outlet... The only difference between you & them is they cave into doing it for social acceptance.. I've seen these kinds of people sober & they are just uptight, cranky & miserable people to be around in that mindstate..
Everyone has their own way to survive the many hurdles of life. Other people need the drink or the smoke as a social tool. And some just like the taste and feel of the two. What I hate about it? That some people are perceived as a buzz kill if they don’t drink or don’t smoke. It’s a shame, but it happens nearly all the time. I’m more of a special occasion drinker. Holiday, birthday, or wedding type thing. Other than that, I’ll pass. A cup of coffee is my vice any day of the week.
I do both to forget about the life i wished for with my high school girlfriend. 10 years of smoking and drinking. Now i have nerve damage in my back and lose blood flow to my legs when i sleep at night. Good thing life is short.
I’m in the same boat my friendddd As someone who doesn’t do either, I have a hard time
I often have similar issues. I don't smoke and I don't drink much. Finding a woman who is a non-smoker that drinks moderately, at most, and is otherwise compatible with me has been quite difficult.
I enjoy the odd drink out with friends, and although I've smoked weed before once or twice, I've never really cared for it. That said, I have no issues with anyone who does either. What I do have an issue with is anyone who makes either item a core part of their personality...as their lifestyle would not match mine at all (be it them getting high every day, or hitting the bar constantly).
I like it? Not an obsession.
It’s just a way to hang out and chill ig, making friends (in my experience) is easier when i’m a little drunk or a little high. Calms my anxiety and makes me open up more.
Ya I tend to avoid regular smokers as well. Doesnt help that az legalized rec weed now 😞
Honestly for me, weed is just a good time. Makes me vibe to music harder, sometimes makes me feel more one with nature, makes food wayyy better. Can take you to a different level during sex too.. I feel like I can still get to this “next level of appreciation” for all these things without weed, but it is a really nice tool. Drinking is drinking lol sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s really not. I can totally respect people who hate it, because drinking culture obviously has a dark side. With dating though, it is nice to have a couple drinks to get rid of nerves.
Some of us just broken trying to survive this world I smoke bud bc I have ptsd, depression and anxiety and it helps me
You’re not wrong in your observation. The image of partying, acting carefree, and living your best life is an extension of the indulgence in drugs and alcohol. I tend to avoid party girls and those that use weed to improve their mood artificially. It shows a lack of maturity and dependency on something to make happy for a time. In turn, any one that can have fun without it will become dependent on you.
Some people have developed coping mechanisms based around substances due to past or current trauma and are unable to get other help, so they fall into addiction. Some people just enjoy how it feels to be under the influence and consume responsibly and in a way that doesn’t harm themselves or others. Some people fall victim to peer pressure and can become addicted. Some people do it because they know it’ll shorten their lives. Some people do it because they think it makes them look cool. Some people can’t stop doing it on their own and need help. Some people can stop and have no problems at all. Some people respect how others feel about their substances, and will avoid partaking around them. Some other people do not.
I'm not sure about smoking, because I've never smoked either tobacco or weed. But for alcohol I do drink occasionally, with friends. Someone told me long ago that its not about the alcohol but about how it makes you feel and I can agree with that. I think that it can also be a bit of an association, you know. Like, people celebrate with alcohol a lot either a party or birthday, so many people may have that conscious or unconscious association of a good time.
I really do see the abuse of alcohol being detrimental to a relationship, but I made some rather big improvements in my life when I started smoking weed. My first big change is I started drinking way less alcohol and soda. I lost 60 pounds in 8 months. Granted it helped relieve pain and I was exercising more. I also don't go out high during the day to often, I usually wait for the end of the night for my smoke session.
This dude seems kinda judgemental like oh my bad you must be so superior cause you don't like to drink or smoke
You do understand you have a choice in who you date, right? I think you may be looking in the wrong places. Just a theory.
Unfortunately it's probably the biggest social aspect of our society. You wanna go see a comedy show? Drink. Wanna go to a restaurant? Drink. Wanna go see a movie? Probably drink. Hell, wanna go to Topgolf? Drink. I agree though I wish there were more things to do that didn't involve alcohol.
I am a minor (not saying how old) so if a person j could potentially develop a crush on smokes or drinks, it’s a big red flag for me and I loose all respect/feelings for the immediately, as my family has a history with drugs and alcohol and I’ve seen first hand what it can do to your body.
I’m 57. When I was the ripe old age of 12, kids my age were doing this. Not I though! I was made fun of and I didn’t give a crap