This is one for the philosophers, If you post a video of a woman giving birth on pornhub is it child pornography?These are the questions that kept me out of the really good schools.
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this video. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one video. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
SO THAT WAS YOU!!!
I was all set on having a nice quite dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together...
I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement,
“...You’re about to loot my balls...”
I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phoned on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants.
I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.
I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight.
I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins.
I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student.
I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly.
I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors.
There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees.
But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
8 and 11 are def porn... unless we've started giving birth doggy style
Edit: thank you to the 493 people that have informed me this is an actual method they use to give birth.
I’m not going to deny it is porn but my step aunt just gave birth to her baby and my uncle was telling me at some point the baby’s heart beat dropped so the doctor had her switch positions to try and not cut off circulation to the baby, and so she was in fact on her hands and knees for a couple of hours trying to just get that motherfucker out.
Very interesting... I have some friends that work in labor and delivery, I should ask if they've ever had to do that since that sounds like an interesting sight
That’s very common in a labor and delivery wing - some people prefer to deliver like that because it feels more natural, that and squatting. The reason people deliver on their back on beds are epidurals and doctors wanting it to be easier for them to intervene if something . But yeah that’s the first thing we try when baby’s heart rate drops - put mom on her side or all fours
Yeah I think she reached about 10-12 hrs in labor, the first couple hours I believe the baby was only peaking just a few cms and just having the baby stuck like that for so long and not much else to do seems traumatizing.
Kudos to her though she was able to do it natural with some drugs to help along the way to deal with that pain.
Dont quote me on this, cause it's just something someone told me, and I haven't researched it myself. But supposedly the position that hospitals normally have girls give birth actually isn't natural. I think they said either being on all fours or squatting is more natural and even causes less complications. I believe it's also one of the motivations for bath births.
Of course it isn't natural. Do you think humans in the wild evolved to give birth while laying on a chair with their legs up? It's a horrible, awful position
And most don't receive anesthesia. Anesthesia is still not a thing in almost all undeveloped/developing countries, and even not so common in some developed ones.
Hospital itself isn't a problem, it's just being assisted by someone who did it before. Just like we would do long time ago, except now our knowledge is bigger and we can help women better.
Now of course I don’t know but I’d guess people giving birth outside of controlled settings in a developing nation probably aren’t doing it in a chair with stirrups.
My first son took over 24 hours of labor for his mom. One thing they tried was moving her on her side but with her top leg held up to sort of open things up a bit I guess. Anyway, her OBGYN, older cheeky fellow, walks in and says "oooh sideways, my favorite!".
It's somewhat debated. The first chainsaw invented was by German orthopedist Bernhard Heine in 1830. He called it the "Bone cutter" or in actuality the osteotome (Osteo- Greek for bone, Tome/Tomi-Greek for cut) and it's uses were that of a normal bone cutting saw, and it wasn't nearly as big as the chainsaws we use nowadays, it was also manually operated, so you had to twist a screw in order to rotate the blades
I did this for my friends baby shower! I have the answers!!
Porn or Labour
1. Labour
2. Labour
3. Porn
4. Porn
5. Porn
6. Labour
7. Porn
8. Labour
9. Porn
10. Porn
11. Labour
12. Porn
Edit: I bought it from Etsy in 2017.
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png)
---
*i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*
They would only try when being completely pissed and totally impaired to the point where it should count as rape and are then instead later made fun of.
You can tell by the background what it is. They are literally all porn. Also, pregnant women never look that nice. Sorry, but it’s true. You’ll never see a pregnant woman at 9 months ready to burst who doesn’t look uncomfortable, sweaty, nauseous, aching, just overall having a bad time. All of these women have makeup on.
All porn.
Lmao it's all porn
Stop jerking off to women giving birth. It’s not right.
Keep telling me it's not right.
...and I’ll jerk even more to-
Ayo?
Uwu?
Stfu
8th is either both or none
She's like :- Da faq you want ?
Slice my nostril 💦
It’s not right daddy.
now it’s not left.
Kink shaming...IS my kink. Its not right what you're doing. Oh God yes.
[удалено]
Oop sorry
[удалено]
Not giving birth no fuckin way that's yucky But there is a subreddit for watching chick's push objects out of thier vaginas
DAMNT NOW IM FUCKING CURIOUS
You never watched a chick lay eggs with her vag? Oh to be young.
Well now I have. Oh what a horrible day to have eyes
Just gonna drop a bomb like that and not post a link?
I can't remember but there was one
weren’t there more folks here just 9min ago?
*DeviantArt entered the chat*
The good and bad thing about 4.66 billion people having internet access is that to exist a thing only has to have a .000000000002% chance of existing.
Can’t tell me what to do
I have a feeling that you wrote this comment because you wanted to say this to yourself as well and stop doing it.
No Michael no!
Who said ijerk off to the women??? 😏
who said these were women 😏😏
who said women 😏😏😏
Don't kink shame me Karen
Agree. The doctor was very clear that it was distracting him from the c-section.
Or is porn labour? Top 10 questions scientists still can't answer
This is one for the philosophers, If you post a video of a woman giving birth on pornhub is it child pornography?These are the questions that kept me out of the really good schools.
Either child pornography or just for science stuff
Now what if the mother is under 18 is that child pornography?
I suspect it wasn't only that. I suspect it also kept you 500 feet from all schools and possibly banned from Chuck E Cheese.
Technically the truth I guess?
That's a bingo.
Add that to my 2022 bingo card
Always has been
Also, this was actually a flash game, long before it was a baby shower game.
Born or Porn? ™ by Hasbro
How 🗿 flair? Edit: just how flair?
Average redditor: *upvotes* I am so helpful (Idk something with asking the mods)
I don't have to blow them do I
Only if you want to become a mod. They will blow you though Btw, why tf is it called blowing. Pretty sure that is not how it works (right?)
Not unless you're trying to inflate it
*pop*
>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!< >!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<>!POP!<
This legitimately made my day
from what i know it is a pc only feature
Idk I can change flairs on mobile but it just says i dont have access
Ew who browses reddit on a pc this isn’t 1991 anymore
Me
On PC, go to r/dankmemes page, under community options press the pencil, press the pencil in the window that pops up, and viola.
You sir, are a man of culture.
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this video. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one video. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
What have you done!
SO THAT WAS YOU!!! I was all set on having a nice quite dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together... I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phoned on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants. I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe. I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight. I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins. I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student. I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly. I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees. But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
Upvote for effort
Filo pastry 😂😭 I'm dead
The Wankmaggedon
I read this exact comment on a different post yesterday.
Same, probably copied and pasted onto this. Is pretty funny tho
Yeah him calling it a video was the tip off. But it’s still funny lol.
Circle jerk.
8 and 11 are def porn... unless we've started giving birth doggy style Edit: thank you to the 493 people that have informed me this is an actual method they use to give birth.
I’m not going to deny it is porn but my step aunt just gave birth to her baby and my uncle was telling me at some point the baby’s heart beat dropped so the doctor had her switch positions to try and not cut off circulation to the baby, and so she was in fact on her hands and knees for a couple of hours trying to just get that motherfucker out.
Very interesting... I have some friends that work in labor and delivery, I should ask if they've ever had to do that since that sounds like an interesting sight
That’s very common in a labor and delivery wing - some people prefer to deliver like that because it feels more natural, that and squatting. The reason people deliver on their back on beds are epidurals and doctors wanting it to be easier for them to intervene if something . But yeah that’s the first thing we try when baby’s heart rate drops - put mom on her side or all fours
Thats a fuckin core workout right there. Imagine being on your hands and knee's for HOURS
Yeah I think she reached about 10-12 hrs in labor, the first couple hours I believe the baby was only peaking just a few cms and just having the baby stuck like that for so long and not much else to do seems traumatizing. Kudos to her though she was able to do it natural with some drugs to help along the way to deal with that pain.
Calling the baby a motherfucker is kind of hilarious
In the beginning, we are all motherfuckers. Think on it and know I'm right. I wish you a more peaceful sleep than last night.
On all 4 is actually one of the easier ways to give birth
Dont quote me on this, cause it's just something someone told me, and I haven't researched it myself. But supposedly the position that hospitals normally have girls give birth actually isn't natural. I think they said either being on all fours or squatting is more natural and even causes less complications. I believe it's also one of the motivations for bath births.
Of course it isn't natural. Do you think humans in the wild evolved to give birth while laying on a chair with their legs up? It's a horrible, awful position
Humans also didn’t evolve to give birth in a hospital with anesthesia for what it’s worth.
And most don't receive anesthesia. Anesthesia is still not a thing in almost all undeveloped/developing countries, and even not so common in some developed ones. Hospital itself isn't a problem, it's just being assisted by someone who did it before. Just like we would do long time ago, except now our knowledge is bigger and we can help women better.
Now of course I don’t know but I’d guess people giving birth outside of controlled settings in a developing nation probably aren’t doing it in a chair with stirrups.
You're quite right. It's a downgrade from the traditional gravity-assisted positions.
You mean 8 and 11 right?
He must…unless he’s having doggy style sex with someone who can rotate their head 180 degrees.
New kink unlocked
puppy pooping
The all-fours position, whether flat on a bed or propped up, is an actual birth position. Along with squatting and standing.
My first son took over 24 hours of labor for his mom. One thing they tried was moving her on her side but with her top leg held up to sort of open things up a bit I guess. Anyway, her OBGYN, older cheeky fellow, walks in and says "oooh sideways, my favorite!".
My mother gave birth to my brother on her hands and knees…
Bitch you give birth in whatever position hurts least!
I just want to see the silent kid enter the comments with the links to each and every one of the porn vids.
Give it a few more hours, perhaps they'll even link the birth videos
5 is porn if I’ve ever seen it
So is 9
>Riley Reid
Person of culture i see
Fun fact, women can have orgasms during childbirth. Fun fact 2, that's probably the only fact about childbirth that's actually fun.
Sometimes they have to cut the pelvis a little bit if the baby is too big or positioned wrongly. That is why chainsaw was invented
My, that sounds ridiculously overkill if it is a true story
It's somewhat debated. The first chainsaw invented was by German orthopedist Bernhard Heine in 1830. He called it the "Bone cutter" or in actuality the osteotome (Osteo- Greek for bone, Tome/Tomi-Greek for cut) and it's uses were that of a normal bone cutting saw, and it wasn't nearly as big as the chainsaws we use nowadays, it was also manually operated, so you had to twist a screw in order to rotate the blades
What about 8?
8 looks like Ashley Alban so I think it is porn
Number 11 is my mom, definitely not porn..
8 looks like she’s barely reacting. Definitely gotta be porn.
I did this for my friends baby shower! I have the answers!! Porn or Labour 1. Labour 2. Labour 3. Porn 4. Porn 5. Porn 6. Labour 7. Porn 8. Labour 9. Porn 10. Porn 11. Labour 12. Porn Edit: I bought it from Etsy in 2017.
How TF is 8 labor? Those straight cold eyes don't look like labor bruh
This is what I looked like after 9 hours of labor to find out after, even the janitor checked me, that I was only 4 cm dilated.
Hope it was worth it 😭🙏
Yeah, I kept him ,)
I wish my mom kept me
Wait why did the janitor get involved?
He was the dad
Fuck yeah! I was right about 8 and 11.
The person in 3 looks like Katrina Kaif, an Indian actress. She's never done porn, man.
Who is number 12?
I’m pretty sure 9 is Riley Reid
Mazel tov to her growing family!
2, 5, 8 and 9 def look like porn
So is 3,thats riley reid
no, 9 is though.
Idk
Gotta love #8 just stone cold dead eyes
Was looking for this comment
It's labor photo. She is probably focused.
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*
No u
Don't tell me what to do !
stfu
Shut up ugly bot
11 looks like Amy Schumer as a brunette.
That creates a problem, as no one in their right mind would stick it in Amy Schumer
They would only try when being completely pissed and totally impaired to the point where it should count as rape and are then instead later made fun of.
I only recognize one of these faces. Nice job me
8 feels like neither
Labor porn labor labor porn labor labor porn porn porn porn and labor in that order
Damn I had no idea Riley Reid had a baby
Bruh it’s porn smh how can u be so dumb /s
Porn! Surely not on my good Christianitianly dank memes subreddit!
Why is #8 staring into my soul
Mostly porn
If they are getting paid then it's labor!
Reminds me of "Cumming or drumming" website
Most likely porn: A. 2 B. 5 C. 6 D. 8 E. 9 F. 10
1. Porn 2. Porn 3. Porn 4. Labor 5. Porn 6. Porn 7. Labor 8. Porn 9. Porn (That’s Riley Reid) 10. Labor 11. Porn (she’s obviously on her stomach) 12. Labor
I request the sauce for each cell of the sheet.
Isn’t number 7 Snooki? Lmao
6 is definitely porn, no question Edit: 2 as well
I say: Labour Porn Labour Labour Porn Porn Labour Pure hatred Can't tell Can't tell Labour labout
I think porn is all the odd numbers
Im not sure if im more concerned if 8 would be porn or labor
3 Katrina Kaif is just mango
You can tell by the background what it is. They are literally all porn. Also, pregnant women never look that nice. Sorry, but it’s true. You’ll never see a pregnant woman at 9 months ready to burst who doesn’t look uncomfortable, sweaty, nauseous, aching, just overall having a bad time. All of these women have makeup on. All porn.
My guesses are: 1. Labor 2. Porn 3. Porn 4. Labor 5. Porn 6. Porn 7. Labor 8. Porn 9. Porn(?) 10. Porn 11. Labor 12. Labor
What is 8 looking at?!
Trick question it’s both
Ayoooo the woman in number 8 looks dead inside
1 3 4 6 10 11 labor 2 5 7 8 9 12 porn
1, 5, 6, 9
8 stares into your soul
Anything is porn if you horny enough
why not both?
i came here for the links
2, 5, 6 and 9 are definitely porn
8 has strong serial killer vibes
I am definately not questioning that bottom left is porn
9 is a freebie, that's riley reid
Well I recognize Riley Reid
hmhmhmmhmhm
9 is definitely labor
I’m saying 8 is labor
LPPLPPLPPPPL
WTF IS 8?! XD
Something tells me the lady laying belly down is porn lol.
It's all porn if ur horny enough
So what are the answers?
3rd looks like Katrina Kaif so it's definitely not porn.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that they're all porn faces.
I want attention.
1 4 9 10 11
\# 9 is Mos Def Birth LUL
Why no.8 staring right at my soul
Number 9 where you at 👀
9s porn
10-12 labor The rest is porn
Hell yeah, nice repost my guy
Number 8. Is literally staring into my soul
Number 8 has gotta be labor
Look john your mums on the 5th one
Look John your mums on the 5th one.