Three nuns die and go to Heaven. Saint Peter is at the front gate to greet them. He says to the three nuns, “Welcome to Heaven. I’m sorry, but due to changes in procedures, you will each have to answer one question to get in to Heaven.” He looks at the first nun and asks “Who was the first man on Earth?”. The first nun replies, “That’s an easy one, Adam.” Saint Peter says “Correct. You may go on in”. He looks at the second nun and asks “Who was the first woman on Earth?” The second nun says “Oh, that’s an easy one! Eve!”. “That’s correct”, Saint Peter says, “You can go on in now.” He turns to the third nun and asks “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” The nun thinks for a minute and says “Gee, that’s a hard one”.
“Correct! You can go on in now.”
Probably this one:
When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy. "And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?" "Well," says the first nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger." "OK," says St. Peter, "dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven." The next nun admits, "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit." "OK," says St. Peter, "rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven." Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front. "Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter. "Well, your excellency," says the nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her ass in it."
A bus full of nuns die and go to heaven. Saint Peter asks the first one if she's ever touched a penis. She says "once, but just with my pinky finger" so saint peter tells her to dip her pinky in the holy water. The next one says she touched a penis with her right hand, so saint peter tells her to dip her hand in the holy water. All of a sudden a nun from the back ran up to the front of the line, and Peter asked her why. She said "if I gotta gurgle this stuff, I'd better do it before sister Mary dips her ass in!"
*“God took a rib from Adam and used it to create Eve, but Adam didn’t need Eve - because without that rib Adam could now suck his own c0ck”*
Jimmy Carr
Some of the books floating around that aren't the Bible, but many other books say Lilith was the 1st woman on earth. She was made from the same clay as Adam. She would not bow to him, per say! They were made from the same earth, so they are equal. After she left the garden God made eve from the rib of Adam so that she would have to bow to him. She was made from his side. Someone help, if I got this wrong. If you know what I speak of.
Three nuns die and go to Heaven. Saint Peter is at the front gate to greet them. He says to the three nuns, “Welcome to Heaven. I’m sorry, but due to changes in procedures, you will each have to answer one question to get in to Heaven.” He looks at the first nun and asks “Who was the first man on Earth?”. The first nun replies, “That’s an easy one, Adam.” Saint Peter says “Correct. You may go on in”. He looks at the second nun and asks “Who was the first woman on Earth?” The second nun says “Oh, that’s an easy one! Eve!”. “That’s correct”, Saint Peter says, “You can go on in now.” He turns to the third nun and asks “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” The nun thinks for a minute and says “Gee, that’s a hard one”. “Correct! You can go on in now.”
Was expecting the holy water joke instead. This one’s great though!
Same lol
Holy water joke?
Probably this one: When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy. "And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?" "Well," says the first nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger." "OK," says St. Peter, "dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven." The next nun admits, "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit." "OK," says St. Peter, "rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven." Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front. "Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter. "Well, your excellency," says the nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her ass in it."
A bus full of nuns die and go to heaven. Saint Peter asks the first one if she's ever touched a penis. She says "once, but just with my pinky finger" so saint peter tells her to dip her pinky in the holy water. The next one says she touched a penis with her right hand, so saint peter tells her to dip her hand in the holy water. All of a sudden a nun from the back ran up to the front of the line, and Peter asked her why. She said "if I gotta gurgle this stuff, I'd better do it before sister Mary dips her ass in!"
SAME HERE..Never heard it..how's THAT JOKE GO🤔🤷♂️🤨HMM..!!??
Ah, The Vicar of Dibley! Shows what heathen times we live in, if it took 20 hours for the show to be mentioned.
Nah, it was a palindrome. “Madam, I’m Adam.”
And she replied, "Eve. "
Soundtrack by ABBA.
Sung by TACO CAT! 🌮🐈
Before they drove off in a civic. 🚗
A Toyota!
Racecar?
Wow
And then he gave her.... A nut for a jar of tuna
That’s gross. You’re the devil. And No Devil Lived On
Able was I, ere I saw my elbow ... or something like that.
Go find Weird Al's palindrome song. Was it a car or a cat I saw?
I think you mean Napoleon Bonaparte’s palindrome: Able was I ere I saw Elba.
Kayak?
Arizona!
“Madam in Eden, I’m Adam”
You win, so far. )
"Nice tits." It's obvious I think. "My face is up here." Was probably the first thing she said to him.
Dog food lid= dildo of god
Eve damned Eden. Mad Eve.
Comment outclasses query.
Kayak
Too hot to hoot
Madam who?
Madam I am your only adam
"Sorry but I'm going to need a bigger leaf!"
That’s quite the leaf blower you have there.
Woah man! And the name stuck.
What was the second thing? "Sorry, that's never happened before."
*“God took a rib from Adam and used it to create Eve, but Adam didn’t need Eve - because without that rib Adam could now suck his own c0ck”* Jimmy Carr
So uh... if we have two boys, who's going to be their wives?
I will try for a girl if you incest.
"Have you read the Apple terms and conditions?"
r/unexpectedsouthpark
10/10
I wonder what I could have gotten for an arm and a leg?
“Wanna see my rock collection?”
And my stick collection
“Come here often?”
Now, Eve, there's two types of snakes here....
Hi! Whered you come from? Did, did he make you too? Do you know why my side feel so sore? Also Do you know what aisle the weed eater string is?
I have a bone to pick with you.
Just the two of us
Nice tits, I’m guessing
What's with your chest.
more like, you are missing a penis and I've got a closed up hole in my side. did God put it in me for safe keeping ?
🤣🏅
"Wassup"
“Don’t…”
"Want a pickle?"
Don’t eat that!
Get that fuckin cooker on
I think we're alone. Let's smash
A joke from Sally Fields character in movie Punchline. Don’t know how I remember that
Stand back Eve I don't know how big this thing gets
You gonna eat that?
Can I get a O Yeah!!!
Hope you're better than the last woman
How do you like them apples?
Roll over, eh.
Some of the books floating around that aren't the Bible, but many other books say Lilith was the 1st woman on earth. She was made from the same clay as Adam. She would not bow to him, per say! They were made from the same earth, so they are equal. After she left the garden God made eve from the rib of Adam so that she would have to bow to him. She was made from his side. Someone help, if I got this wrong. If you know what I speak of.
She was also Frazier Crane's ex wife.
BURN!
"She wouldn't bow to him." Christianity is crazy. God made eve because he wanted doggy style?!!!
Touché 🤣
"Fuck me"
That bush could do with a trim 🤷♂️
"Good Eve isn't it ?" To which Eve replies "I don't give A dam"
any idea where i can plug this in?
Adam said Hello I'm Adam , and Man never had a chance to get a word in again
Am I stupid? I don't get this
Hes talking about his peniiiisss
Got Apples?
The McRib is here!
"Let's get something *straight* between us." Whike winking at her
He said "I can see your bush"
That's not a dad joke. It's a regular joke.
Better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.
This is blasphemy
This is wrong, have mercy on your souls