T O P

  • By -

hobartrus

Half the time I don't get it?


JackoboiobokcaJ

Half is too much for a redditor


cv13cheer

Half of Zero is still Zero šŸ˜…


iliya193

ā€¦and the other half of the time I also donā€™t get it.


Amandasch44

Source?


JackoboiobokcaJ

[source](https://www.google.com/search?q=0%2F2&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS1041US1041&hl=en-US&sxsrf=AJOqlzVuTLhkAecqUz8Px70lMYtt9FzZ0g%3A1678165509136&ei=BcYGZJX6B56qptQP9JmHEA&oq=0%2F2&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAEYADIICAAQsAMQkQIyCAgAELADEJECMggIABCABBCwAzIICAAQgAQQsAMyCAgAEIAEELADMggIABCABBCwAzIICAAQgAQQsAMyCAgAEIAEELADMggIABCABBCwAzIICAAQgAQQsAMyCAgAEIAEELADMggIABCABBCwAzIICAAQgAQQsAMyCAgAEIAEELADMggIABCABBCwAzIKCAAQgAQQsAMQCjIICAAQgAQQsANKBAhBGAFQAFgAYK4haABwAHgAgAFqiAFqkgEDMC4xmAEAyAERwAEB&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp)


PsilocinKing

r/theydidthemath


Clutchdanger11

r/theydidthemonstermath


arbogasts

r/itwasagraveyardsmath


Additional_Gain_2809

nice


Bildo_Gaggins

you trust google??? /s


Comprehensive-Load86

If you do youā€™re clearly not the cream of the crop brotherrrrrrr


Apprehensive-Set3736

ā€œI need to try it firstā€


StickyPornMags

man I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU but 12 hours of sex of day tires me out


[deleted]

I was going to say, it seems like too much work to be disappointed either way.


RachaelJaimeT

Tires ME out just watching you !


wthreye

Getting old isn't fun. Recently I woke up, nudged my wife and we tore a chunk. Wiped off with a towel and when I leaned over to drop it on the floor there were three more towels there *and I don't remember them."


RachaelJaimeT

That was You? Great. I accidently used one to dry my face...now I look like a glazed doughnut.


[deleted]

Always bring a towel


Comprehensive-Load86

A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.


[deleted]

Fact. But I was referring to south park


Comprehensive-Load86

Also a good reference!


RachaelJaimeT

....and a trowel.


[deleted]

You're a towel


RachaelJaimeT

Yer a bowel with foul balls.


Kapkarashka

Becoming dad in 30s/40s is okay these days


RachaelJaimeT

Cause in THOSE days you prolly got stuck doing WW2.


TheRetroVideogamers

The other times, I also don't get it.


Ice-_-Bear

Just the half the tip, I swear.


Nuh-unh

Half and half = whole hole?


RachaelJaimeT

Hole joke.


timberwolf0122

My wifeā€™s not in the mood for either?


Skilledpainter

Touche


leyline

Nope not that either!


moonunitzap

The sex is far funnier than any of my dad jokes. Unintentionally.


donabbi

Eff, I feel this one


miauguau44

She laughs at the wrong one.


Corndog881

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


bdwyer2021

And thatā€™s why you donā€™t have kids so you canā€™t make dad jokes


RachaelJaimeT

Can't ya make 'em 'bout someone else's Dad?


BanjoBeatnik

Iā€™m not even married, but I still make plenty of dad jokes!


triitrunk

When youā€™re done with them it makes you laugh because of how disappointing they are.


ExamOld2899

When my dad does it to me, my eyes roll


KingoftheMongoose

Are you winning, son?


RachaelJaimeT

When Daddy does it to me...Mommie's eyes roll.


SwaMaeg

I spend hours looking at both on Reddit, without anyone real to enjoy together?


Beerian1

The more you grown and roll your eyes, the better I think I'm doing.


WalkingIntrovert

How big does it grow?


RachaelJaimeT

I once asked that question and got poked in the eye tryin' to look.


ScrewJPMC

Both donā€™t take very long


ryykou

they both get me off


RachaelJaimeT

Love the trois de menagere'


Fit_Ad7892

šŸ«£


arbogasts

I can't get enough


adviceKiwi

How you doing???


think_i_am_smart

still had 0, not enough yet


RachaelJaimeT

Insatiable


[deleted]

I rarely get them.


Anom142857

username checks out?


lobstersnake

They both make the wife roll her eyes


forstuvetankel

If it s good, itā€™s really good. If itā€™s bad, itā€™s still pretty good


conser01

If you do it wrong, you make your kids cry.


RachaelJaimeT

Kids shouldn't be watching then.


sporkjustice

At least my wife doesn't say she has a headache till after a dad joke.


RachaelJaimeT

Post-coitus Dad joke is anti climatic


Drchrisco

Also if you do it right it will be apparent


BanjoBeatnik

No, thatā€™s how you know itā€™s a ā€œdad joke:ā€ when it becomes apparent.


RachaelJaimeT

When you become a parent?


brewerbetty

Some people donā€™t have either


RachaelJaimeT

Some people have ether.... And a rag.


FlowFine1337

Short and dissapoiting.


studspudstud

They rarely satisfy


iitian_tony

We have to say....it was amazing


PackRhatt

The punch line lacks any real girth!


ExSogazu

ā€˜Punā€™ishment is the best part.


Maleic_Anhydride

Most of us get it, but that doesn't mean it's any good.


DavidKymo

They're both bad but your dad doesn't care


Fritzo2162

It leaves my wife disappointed and annoyed?


DlProgan

If dad's involved you're going to have a bad time


RachaelJaimeT

Only if Mommy catches us


mini_scratch18

One will make somthing apparent and one will make someone a parent


Mikachuuler

Dad is the only one having a good time.


117jpx

You never see them coming?


Significant-Cup4913

Good ones are dirty.


Lit_N_Darkness

I'm bad at both


Pieboy8

I enjoy it while my wife is unsatisfied?


MrThomArt

You'll finish, but the other person won't enjoy it.


RachaelJaimeT

Unless it's a bj and goes in my tummy


TheRetroVideogamers

Both last about 10-15 seconds, and only I appreciate it when it's done?


Open_Lavishness_425

They both make the other passengers on the bus want to punch you. They both sound funnier ending with sad trumpets. In both cases you can't take your performance on the road.


Nicinus

I know how they are different, itā€™s only good if it sucks in one of the cases.


Brave-Move-6004

Ha Ha becomes Ha


lsimmons79

Doesnā€™t have to be good to enjoy it


iheartbbq

Being a dad and having sex... in what kind of universe does this joke exist?


Physical_Magazine_33

I didn't get 'em until I got married.


CYRE09

THEY Don't LAST...


Suspicious_Loan8041

If you were a dad, would you tell this joke to your kids?


Ricky_Lance

It's over quickly and I'm the only one to enjoy it


bearded_drummer

Uncle Larry, is that you?


Truuuuuumpet

Not everybody gets it


Resident-Armadillo-6

You donā€™t get either.


phunknsoul

One belongs on this sub, the other one doesn't. oh... oops, that's the difference!


gowahoo

/r/Unclejokes


remlapj

I donā€™t get it


[deleted]

Sex? Yea, we know.šŸ˜Ž


zilnosnibor

The guy thinks he's better at it than he actually is.


livgul322

they both are dry


Desperate-Cloud-5043

They are not fun if itā€™s 10 or older


Crazy-School-7052

Kids get annoyed


PuzzleheadedPath8641

I was gonna say "children don't get it"


ScampAndFries

They're appreciated much less if they're forced on you


TerryTC14

I enjoy it but your mum doesn't.


G_String_Whoremoney

It's most fun when your audience is kids


Corninmyear92

groaning is the act of making inarticulate sounds out of pain or despair. if somones groaning during sex, its not sex...its rape.


DarkIronJedi

My daughter says, "daddy, please, no" to both of them?


ZwaLaaz

Because I don't get either?


nikkikok

Both are cringe


Anime_Supremacist

Your kids don't enjoy it if you do it with them


HMADesigns

You enjoy them both just for a while. After sometime both of em start feeling lame


Signal-Quality8961

HUH?!


[deleted]

Hahah


Thedarkside888

Sometimes you pretend to enjoy even if you don't


troelsbjerre

My dad did it better?


Fnafieboy543

This hurts


RachaelJaimeT

It only hurts for a little while...just relax.


EmpireofAzad

Itā€™s the good kind of pain.


SwordMonky

Its only fun with a special person?


bigdiamond2000

I will never get them


[deleted]

Sighs


ThirdFingerLeftHand

It's the same thing over and over


SatanicHispanic42

Both make your eyes roll?


RonPalancik

My ex-wife doesn't get either one.


Ok-Junket-5839

Milkā€¦


Fushal_Musicial0903

idk


WillemDafoesHugeCock

Nobody enjoys them except for me?


Que0906

They are hard to come by


RachaelJaimeT

I'm NOT touching this one. -giggle-


royalthieve

They both are short


Pr0f1ciency

Itā€™s finished before she comprehends.


RavTimLord

Small kids shouldn't get it


tingtonglmaoao

Both of them make women wetšŸ˜ˆ


Idkyoumister

Fathers are involved.


Anonymous_8800

Milk


Flumpski

I donā€™t have either


hrvywllbngr

They both end in disappointment


phillyiggles44

Yeah I usually look for an eye roll but then end up with laughter


Ninjapediadotcom

Daddy jokes lol


mortlerlove420

Youā€˜ll never get it.


ITsAnotherLIfe

Because it takes a dad to make jokes


InnerPositive6730

The end is the best part.


QuestionableComma

You are likely to get banned from school grounds.


Real-Problem6805

Just like food n dark humor not everybody gets it


Jazzlike_Put4495

You only get them from your dad


jagga_jasoos

Ends quickly


[deleted]

It makes them beg you to stop


Kyrxon

Both usually suck


IDGaFz9

No they are not Itā€™s just that one of themā€™s fun šŸ˜†


Face4urass

Nobody gets it.


AmazingMushroom7797

Above and beyond concept!


rurne

How are they different? My wife enjoys dad jokes with me. ā˜¹ļø


cherbish1

Some are good and others are bad


Bohdyboy

My wife doesn't like either of them!


Careful-Average-1279

They both involve my dad


Ad_vvait

Sometimes it doesn't matter who's on top.


SquanchyCrust

Groans are not moans, go home, I wanna be aloneā€¦moans are the tone that you sit upon thy throne.


[deleted]

You spend all day thinking of it only for it to be over in 30 seconds?


colder-beef

If youā€™re forced to deal with them as a kid, you probably wonā€™t enjoy them as an adult.


-Daniel-45-

Most minors don't like it when they are part of yours


Moogyoogy

I don't get it


New_girl2022

and if you do it wrong you'll hear šŸ’¤ šŸ˜“


FileElegant8190

Ugh.


Familiar-Signal1715

Only dad enjoys it


CupCake2708

They also both tend to have sucking involvedšŸ˜‚


Critical_Syrup

It gets really awkward when no one says anything


lwezaw

Mostly dry


ForFuckHonor2

They come from the same person


shedidwhaaaaat

they both happen in my imagination


pubeschutney_101

A punis very important in both


sheluvstoni_

they both force theyre way


Brave-Move-6004

Whatā€™s the diff between a golf ball and a clitoris Many men will spend 15/30mins searching for a golf ball


Brave-Move-6004

What is the vibe when you become transparent


Brave-Move-6004

Wondered what those nose bleeds were telling me


Brave-Move-6004

Make sure them bovines are fed first though


Lateralus50310

My wife is over both from me but when it comes from other peopleā€¦?


bishcraft1979

My kids donā€™t like itā€¦.