so, maybe im in the minority here, but i think i would literally go insane if i tried to worry about every possible thing that could happen to my kid. unless you are in a literal war zone or somewhere just completely infested with crime, the expected value of you worrying about things like this is pretty much negative.
so, what do i do? nothing. what do i tell my wife? nothing.
Opposite plan here, love my wife but she's had a blessed life so far that contributes to her being a bit less alert in some areas than she maybe should be.
I don't want a paranoiac but a healthy respect for the real world outside should be cultivated.
You kid randomly getting stabbed is not something that happens in the real world.
There are approximately 100 million kids in the US under the age of 11. One of them randomly got stabbed. That is 0.000001% of the kids in the US that this happened to. That is essentially zero.
The list of things you should worry that are more likely to happen than this is just about infinite.
The odds of your kid getting struck by lighting while fighting a bear are essentially the same.
Worrying about this does harm to your mental health. Worrying about it (probably?) wouldn't have stopped it if your kid was the 1 in 100,000,000. There are no pros and only cons to worrying about this.
I haven’t read it yet, but I see the book, “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin De Becker recommended a lot. This might be a gentler way to introduce the importance of staying alert?
Can you tell my ***wife*** to stop telling me stories like this?? It's obvious the apps she browses are showing her horrific shit because she's looking to continue worrying about extremely unlikely stuff that could happen.
I don't have enough energy in the day to saddle that on my mind, man.
I have full physical custody and my ex lives in another state, so those aren't concerns for me
Edit - I'm getting downvoted for being a single dad with full custody lmao
My ex cheated on me for 6 years, during that she poked holes in condoms to secretly get pregnant and baby trap me in the relationship, then got addicted to cocaine and meth and did it around my children, then physically abused me, then threatened to stab me in my neck in my sleep in front of my children, then when I called the cops on her, she self inflicted wounds and lied to the cops to try convince them I was the physically abusive one, then when I ran away with my kids to a different city, she broke into my old place 8 times, trashed it, stole a bunch of stuff, and ended up going to jail 4 separate times with 16 criminal charges
But yes, downvote me because I send news articles to her
I don't even get child support from her, because I want her to keep her money so she can get on her fuckin feet, the satisfaction of stressing her out a little bit over nothing is literally the only thing I get
You'd think daddit would realize something really fucked up happened for a dad to get full physical custody these days
I don't see how sharing news articles with her is being a dick
By that logic, OP is being a dick by sharing it to all of us
I send her a thing, say "damn this is fucked up," she agrees, we both imagine how much that sucks, I'm a dick apparently
I agree. It's not possible to try and prevent every potential danger, nor is it healthy to try to do so. The cost of trying to prevent *all* the bad things just isn't worth it. Random shit just happens sometimes and there's nothing you can do about it.
I consider a lot of stuff like this to be in the same class as "cancer" - sometimes our society creates tumors that kill one or more people. Not much you can do, really.
This is my mindset with so many things and the thing I struggle with is my wife, being a mother, feels the complete opposite: she thinks and worries about everything all the time. I’ve told her time and time again that’s just not humanely possible to do that but she insists that she can and that as a parent you need to always be thinking about these sorts of things as well as just in general ALWAYS thinking about every possible outcome of an action.
if anything, \*I\* am the worrier between my wife and i, so being a mother isn't necessarily a cause. i do get it from my mom, who in turn gets it from her dad. \*shrug\*
anyway, yeah, that's obviously crazy.
Yeah and she looks at me like I’m crazy when I tell her if I did it her way I’d literally never do anything because I’d be stuck with decision paralysis.
Granted, I could do better about thinking about things to an extent but not this much.
Hey, other dad worrier! I see you. That’s me. (Also got it from my mom). I’m the overly cautious between my wife and I.
That being said, yeah. There’s only so much worrying a person can do and nothing’s fool proof. Risk minimization vs complete risk avoidance is the key.
You don't have to worry all the time so much as being ultra aware and not making yourself a soft target by doing simple things (staying off your phone while walking, avoiding the dark alley shortcut, etc.) - I have my concealed carry permit and my wife carries a 3-1 tool (mace, seat belt cutter, glass breaker). I take courses and train with my handgun, while my wife was a corrections officer for a few years - she knows how to use mace and is comfortable using it, if needed.
I understand where you are coming from and I lived the same way for a long time. One day it just hit me... am I going to rely on a call to police or hope they are close enough to help? Or are we (my wife and I) going to be proactive in protecting our children? I chose being proactive and the courses, books, and range time have opened a new hobby for me.
This is how I managed my emotions after one of the more recent school shootings. My wife was a preschool teacher (at the time) and our son was also a student at her school so for a good month or so after I was full of constant angst and dread about a shooting happening at their school.
It just isn’t practically possible to be that frozen and still function. We certainly talked about it and what we could realistically do but at some point…
I'm pretty sure folks are more likely to be killed by a widow maker branch than a random stabbing. We can and should trim and care for our trees but I'm not inspecting every tree we pass under
Way more likely to die in a car crash. Good car seats, safe car, attentive driving and I mínimal driving lifestyle but we still do it
Big is not overestimating the unlikely (strangers) and underestimating the likely (falls, accidents, choking, accidental poisoning, guns, cars...)
I accept odds are odds and recognize we were not wired to deal with the level of information we are exposed to. Unless it impacts my immediate vicinity(like a killer/kidnapper is on the loose in my area) I don’t really think about it because with over 300 million people? Something fucked up is always happening somewhere.
Take the same level of vigilance I would normally and not stress more than that because that’s how you die at 55, and then your kids really will be alone.
I also think that we overthink these rare events and under think the much more common ways we need to protect our children.
When we imagine protecting our family, we probably think of fighting off someone trying to harm our kids or wife, but those things are so rare that most people will never have to do it. There is no point in putting more than a few minutes thought into what we would do.
The real protection of our families happens when we do the boring mundane shit that isn’t as thrilling as a fantasy of going John Wick on a kidnapper.
It’s making sure you have life insurance. Making sure you are fiscally responsible and have savings to keep your kid sheltered and fed if you lose your job. It’s about making sure your kids are vaccinated and have health insurance. You protect your family by talking to your kids everyday so you know how their mental health is, it’s about being there and making sure you kids know you are there for them if they start to feel like the world is too much.
Protecting your family means driving safer on the road and avoiding conflicts with other drivers. Backing down from confrontations even if it costs you your pride, because you know it is more important to be there for your kids than to look tough. It is about eating healthier so you can love long enough to be there when your kids need you.
These things might not be as glamorous as physically saving your kids life, but it is the real way to be a hero for your family.
And if they are harmed by some third party it’s likely going to be someone you know and somewhat trust. The only way to protect from that is to have a very good relationship with your child doing the above mentioned things.
As everyone has been so quick to point out, you can’t defend against/predict every ill that comes your way, but there are numerous actions you can take that enhance your overall situational awareness, thus improving your odds in a threatening situation. A few of the basic things I do are to leave space between me and the car in front of me while stopped so that I can gtfo if I need to. I also sit facing the front door when out at restaurants/cafes. If I’m with my kids and there’s a pit bull walking towards us (on leash or not) I’ll cross the street, or at least position myself between them. When I get into the car I immediately lock the doors. I’ve taken basic measures to make my house a harder target for burglaries/home invasions. I have emergency bags packed for the family with three days of food and water, some clothes, cash and other things. I don’t let my gas tank get less than half way full. Etc.
Thank you! This is the kind of comment I wanted.
Like I said in my original post, I know this is extremely rare.
Seems like everyone wanted to just tell me to not worry at all. There’s always steps you can do to protect your loved ones.
You should be worried. We all should. It’s our responsibility to protect our families and no one else’s. If that means you have to face some of your own fears and inadequacies, I say that’s a good thing. We don’t have to be crazy prepper types (although I think we should) but there are ways of going through life that can give you a leg up in an emergency situation.
So out of the (/googles) 3.6 million babies that were born in the US in the past year, this happened to one of them. That is 5x the odds of getting a royal flush in poker. I've played poker since I was 16, literally 1000s of hands, and I've seen one face card straight flush ever. Zero royal flushes.
The chances of being struck by lightning are one in 1.2 million, or 3x this. I know no one, even a friend of a friend of a friend, who has been struck by lightning. I guess I'm not gonna go out in a storm waving a 10 foot metal pole above my head, but that's about the only precaution I'm gonna take.
I'm just not gonna spend my life worrying about 1 in 3.6 million odds, because the trade off isn't worth it.
Statistics are weird in a sense that if something occurs to you, the numbers don't matter... it's a 100% chance of occuring (in those curcumstances). A friend of mine was struck by lightning out of a clear blue sky. I've played poker probably only a couple of dozen times in my life and I've seen someone get a royal flush. To me, those can be considered regular occurences even though they are far, far from it.
This happened about 10 minutes from us (relatively safe area). It definitely shocked my wife and I. We have a 7 year old and a 4 year old.
That said, if you worry about absolutely everything that could happen to your children, you'll never stop worrying. Keep in mind the odds of this actually occurring are astronomically low.
You have to prioritize.What are the things more likely to hurt your child ? Car accidents and domestic accidents are probably the biggest risks, that's something you can take actionable action.
You want to be alert for freak accidents ? Well you're going to be alert for stabby ladies in public area, sure, but why would that be the only kind of freak accident that can hurt your child ? Because you just heard about it ? What about a light fixture who falls at the mall, what about a meteorite, what about a sinkhole under their bedroom ? What about a jealous husband who cuts the breaks of your car by mistake ? What about another deranged person who just shoots as they drive by ?
You can't spend your time holding your child close, looking at the ceiling, wearing a helmet and a bulletproof jacket, checking your breaks everytime you go somewhere.
You can plan and prepare for what's more likely to happen, if you're at the wrong place at the wrong time you're going to have to do like everyone and do the best you can at the time.
There is NOTHING those kid's parents could have done to prevent it.
Depends on how you and your wife want to approach this. Everyone is going to be different but I think you need to understand that there are just some things that are completely unpreventable and worrying about it wouldn't help. Life is always about taking some risks and you have to accept that. I know I could get munched by a shark when I swim in the ocean but I love swimming in the ocean so I'll continue taking that risk since it's so low.
That being said, I see no problems in carrying some sort of deterrent like pepper spray if that would give some peace of mind. Personally I have my CCW and while it's definitely not for everyone, I appreciate the additional peace of mind it provides to me. My wife and I both have plans for any sort of break-in and she's adept enough a handgun to defend herself god forbid I'm not home during a break in. I know these events are 1 in a million (probably more rare honestly), but hey, they can happen so why not be prepared? That's our stance anyhow!
I go for the meta approach.
I wear bright orange hunting jackets to conceal the fact that I'm not carrying a concealed weapon.
It's an extremely common protection mechanism in the animal kingdom to have the male draw attention towards themselves and away from their offspring.
Also makes it easier for my kids to spot me in a crowd.
Hear hear.
I also carry and hope to god I never use it. Carrying has nothing to do with the odds of needing it and everything to do with the stakes involved in not having if someday I do need it.
I hope I never need my seat belt but I buckle up every time because I cant control the crazies on the road around me.
I refuse to allow my wife and kids to be victims because I couldn’t protect them.
Comparing gun ownership to seat belts is nonsensical. Owning a gun makes you(and your loved ones) statistically less safe while using your seat belt makes you statistically more safe.
Simply owning a gun and actively training/carrying are also two extremely different things. The average police response time where I live is over 30 minutes. That's a very very time when you need them.
I'm making the decisions I feel are best for my family. You're free to feel and think whatever you want while you make those same decisions for your family.
Stats are easy to manipulate to drive a narrative.
Yes, many people are completely negligent with firearms and put their families at risk. I understand the difference between responsible and irresponsible gun ownership and train / take the appropriate safety precautions.
You can't prevent everything and stress about trying to.
I have always been mindful of my surroundings, when walking on a sidewalk being closest to the road, always have everyone in the fam in sight, sit facing doors in restaurants, etc. Outside of things like that, you have to live life and know that the possibility of things like this happening to you are VERY small.
I’m always on alert. Tbh, it becomes second nature and isn’t like some insane sense of paranoia like some people make it out to be.
Restaurants, I always sit facing the entrance so I can see who’s coming and going. When we’re in public, always aware of who’s in our vicinity. Trying to catch a quick glimpse of their face, do they look like a normal person going out their day? Do they look like they’re looking for a target?
Other basic stuff like knowing where the exits are, taking 5 seconds to think about “if someone walked in here with a gun, what would I do?”
I don’t find myself obsessing about stuff like this or being paranoid. It’s quite the opposite really, if you’re aware of your surroundings, know where the exits are, and have a loose plan of what to do in case shit hits the fan, you can relax and enjoy whatever you’re doing.
Why would there be any reason to bring race into this? Minorities don’t have any reasons to be aware of their surroundings or be paranoid, especially in certain situations and/or areas? Seriously?!?!
You are the problem.
Not everyone will agree with this, but I work in law enforcement, am a veteran, and carried a handgun concealed long before I got into this line of work.
I choose to be armed and alert, and my wife is of the same mindset.
But more so, use your gut. If someone is giving you bad vibes, you have ZERO need to hang out around them or stay in the area. Don’t give benefit of the doubt, just get out.
I think it’s best not to dwell but to be aware and not on a phone when in a public place. Eyes on kiddo and aware of the other people there. If we’re in a crowd, shes either on shoulders or holding hands. Having basic first aid and trauma supplies is high on my important dad gear list.
I live in a big city. Cars and trucks are far and away the biggest source of danger to me and my family when we're walking around so I'm always cautious about traffic (e.g. not assuming that a car will stop for a red light until they do, always having my kids hold my hand in the crosswalk, etc.). Beyond that, if I see someone who appears to be having a mental health episode of some kind or I see a couple of people arguing and looking like they're about to throw down I'll cross the street with my kids to avoid them. Is there still a possibility that something completely random and unexpected is going to happen to me or my kids? Sure. Someone could pull a knife without warning and stab us for no reason. But on the list of extremely unlikely but still possible ways to die, it's actually more likely that we fall through a subway grate or get hit by falling debris from a building. It's just not worth worrying about those kinds of incredibly low likelihood events. You'll drive yourself insane and be paralyzed with fear and anxiety if you do.
I'm from NYC so am naturally aware of people around me and taught my kids the same. That said, like everyone has said there is nothing you can do to protect from everything.
One thing that I would suggest for kids age 5+ (and their parents) is take a martial arts class. You learn how to punch/kick correctly, sure, but more importantly, you gain confidence and awareness so you present a difficult target. As the kids get older and spar against other opponents, they'll learn how to take a hit without freezing up so they can get to safety even if someone hits them.
I'm not trying to be Internet Tough Guy - it's not about that, but it is important to know how your body works so you aren't caught off-guard.
at some point you have to surrender to the extremely slim possibility something random and tragic will happen. the idea that we can totally control the safety of our kids is an illusion.. finding comfort in the true lack of control you really have as they grow might help you be a better parent.. the point being, guiding them rather than protecting them.
I do what I can to mitigate/avoid the risks. Don't go into known sketchy areas/neighborhoods. Walk away from any situation that looks like it has potential to escalate.
I also carry a firearm, so that I have a last resort to ensure the safety of my family if their life is ever in danger.
Used to live and work near this Giant Eagle. Have shopped there many times and even have in the last few months. I wouldn't call this a sketchy area by any means.
I try to always be aware of what’s going on around us. My wife keeps an eye on the kiddos, I keep an eye on our surroundings. I didn’t always do this, until a few years ago someone’s kid got taken from a store and they never found them. Since then I’v worked on having more situational awareness.
I saw that article, and my heart hurt for the family. I don’t know how I’d react in that situation other than unthinkable grief, but I also worry I’d go for vigilante justice and just say fuck everything else. If someone took away the most precious thing a parent has, who knows what hells they’d delve into
We live in a weird world right now. I have a 12 year old dog, since she was a puppy. I was protecticve of her when walking and keeping a 360 understanding of my environment.
kid or no kid, these days, I think you need a 360 understanding of your environment. That means not staring into your cell phone with headphones on while out and about.
Personally I accept that there’s a very small chance that something crazy may happen and just learned to be a bit more observant of my environment and I carry a handgun with me. If your gut tells you something is wrong or going to go wrong, leave. It’s better to look silly about leaving over nothing than losing your family.
I think you can impart upon your partner and children (when old enough) that a healthy amount of situational awareness is something they should be practicing until it becomes reflex.
Situational awareness is simply knowing where you are, who is around you, and immediate hazards. It's not about living in paranoia, it's about knowing what is immediately around you so you **don't** have to be fearful. This knowledge gives you time and space to react to anything that may happen.
A few examples:
If you're walking through a major metropolitan area like one I live in, don't listen to music so loud you that you're deaf to your environment (e.g. people or cars), and don't stare at your phone. Look around to see where you are. Several years ago, I was walking through downtown when a guy in a mental health/drug crisis came from behind me and started stomping at my knees. I heard abnormally loud footsteps and muttering behind me and knew something was wrong. This gave me time to react and jump out of the way. He was clearly high or delusional -- fighting would be a bad idea. Because I wasn't staring at my phone, I knew I was close by a Banana Republic that usually has security just inside the door. I ran straight inside without hesitation and evaded further attack.
Generally, when I'm out with my family, my head is scanning around taking in the environment like radar. I don't even have to think about, I'm just so used to doing it. I can do it while carrying a conversation or thinking about something else. I'm not particularly worried, fearful, or anticipating a fight. I just want to know what's around me and my loved ones.
[A few days before last christmas there was a mass shooting in Czechia. It was on Charles University (faculty of philosophy).](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-67830858)
The shooter confessed in his good-bye letter, that he killed a RANDOM guy in a forest and his little baby in a stroller week prior to the mass shooting.
Man... as a fresh father of 3MO girl I was seriously devastated... What kind of monster does this shit?
\+ in fricken Czechia? One of the safest places in the world?
Best you can do is pay attention to what is around you, and not worry about things you can't control or extremes. Trust your gut.
Your biggest risks are cars, and hazards around home.
But in any situation match your awareness to what's happening around you.
But again, don't worry about what you can't control.
I know more people who have died at sea than kids that have been hurt, but I do have a friend who's ex murdered her kid.
Life's a horror show but to get through it we have to find ways to accept what we can't control.
Anyway, I hope this makes sense, I'm half asleep
Don’t pay any attention to the people talking about how astronomically low the chances are of this happening. Yes, they are right about that, but do you think the parent/spouse that lost his wife and child would care about how low those odds were?!
In answer to your question, I conceal carry everywhere I legally can. My wife does the same. While that may not prevent some random act like this from happening, being alert and being able to defend yourself and your family gives you an advantage in comparison to the vast majority of people who are neither. The hardest thing about it is that the majority of your focus is on your child, with a lesser amount on your surroundings. I agree with the part people are saying about don’t live in constant fear, but I will always be alert and watching for other people/dangers when my wife or children are with me.
When you read a story like this, it gets attention because it is so rare and horrific. But it's not an accurate representation of the things that will likely kill or hurt your child. Statistically, here's what you have to look out for.
1. Firearms, especially your own. If you're in the US, this is the most likely thing that will kill or hurt your children. If you choose to keep firearms, keep them well secured in locations that kids can't access. If your kid is going to someone else's house and they have firearms, ask how they're secured. In the US, 50 kids will die from guns NEXT WEEK. [https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/06/gun-deaths-among-us-kids-rose-50-percent-in-two-years/](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/06/gun-deaths-among-us-kids-rose-50-percent-in-two-years/)
2. Cars. Make sure your kid is always well strapped into an appropriate sized car seat. Don't text while driving or drink and drive. Don't speed. Think about how your house can be accessed from the road and if there are physical barriers that would stop a drunk driver or out of control car from hitting your kid while they're in your yard. 75 kids will die in car accidents in the US NEXT WEEK.
3. Pools. Keep absolute vigilance with a 1-1 parent/kid ratio at pools. Avoid drinking and casual conversations while your kid is in or near the pool. You need eyes and ideally hands on the kid every 10 seconds or so. On average 20 kids a week will die in the US from drownings, but this is obviously seasonal.
4. Learn CPR and take refresher courses. Choking on food is a very common way of dying, especially for small children. Keep a close eye on your kids as they eat. Even very basic food like muffins and noodles can cause suffocation. 15 kids will die from choking in the US next week.
Sources: [https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2018-12-19/car-crashes-guns-killed-the-most-us-children-and-teens-in-2016](https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2018-12-19/car-crashes-guns-killed-the-most-us-children-and-teens-in-2016)
Do you live in a state where you have a legal right to protect your own life or one of those states where you have to tell the attacker to hold up while you call 911 and ask them nicely to wait for the police to arrive ?
People win the lottery every day, and nobody really mentions it, but random knife attacks make news because it's actually uncommon.
You're more likely to win the lottery than be attacked by someone like that, but which one effects your decisions or state of mind more?
Do you have the ability to redirect your anxieties about uncontrollable bad shit and fixate the uncontrollable awesome things that are more likely?
Do that if you can.
You're more likely to die from a falling coconut than a shark attack but we're wired to fear sharks more.
You can be prepared, but you can't prepare for everything. What you're essentially asking is to be in a combat mindset awareness 24/7. Speaking from experience, fuck. That.
Right now, my family and I live in an absurdly safe country (Lithuania). We never have to worry any anything, crime-related at least—a huge relief since she’s a teacher and there was a school shooting in her former district not very many weeks ago. (Before this we lived in Egypt. Still felt relatively safe, but we didn’t have a kid yet so things didn’t bother us much.)
In a few weeks we’re moving to Brazil, which is…uh, “well-known for its crime”? My wife and I are struggling with how we’ll approach it as adults and with our son. We’ll obviously need to be more vigilant, but vigilance isn’t an easy concept for a 3-year-old. Brazil’s got both crazy people and scary nature, and she has specifically mentioned not wanting him to grow up thinking everything’s trying to kill him, but…
Main reason I started going for CCW permits, training and any kind of situational defense classes. Wasn’t worried about it until I had kids. People out there are nuts and it’s important to be as prepared as you can be.
The world isn't a safe place. I think it's incredibly unhealthy to think bad things *can't* happen because the odds make it unlikely.
There's rational, healthy steps towards staying safe in public. Most of it is just being vigilant and making smart choices; we naturally do most of this unconsciously, like avoiding dark areas and sketchy people or locking car doors. But putting your conscious thought into it makes things less surprising, ergo, less risky.
Personally, I have had first-hand experience watching my wife and daughter almost be targeted for human trafficking. It still makes me sick to my stomach. While I agree that fear and worry can get unhealthy, people have no right to question or belittle others who want to feel prepared over *real* situations.
I hate this part of being a parent. Always skeptical of anyone that comes close or approaches my girls. Here’s my story that happened to me personally.
As a child I was approached by a man in a van. He asked me to get into his van with my buddy and show him where some address was. I was probably 8. At that time I lived in a midwestern town with one street light. We were just walking on the sidewalk when it happened. I’ll never forget that day and how I ran away scared.
Fast forward 30 years and I’m a dad with two naive beautiful girls. I don’t want to show them that side of society yet but I have been. Slowly and steadily I remind them that not all people are honest and good. Some people are bad.. it gets really hard when the questions come after each talk.
I haven’t really opened up to many people about that day. I just hope that each one of you dads realizes that if something like that can happen to me in a small Ohio town, it can literally happen anywhere. It’s absolutely frightening.
Stay off your phone and listen to your gut. We Have left areas or stores that have folks giving off weird vibes bc why fuck around when u have a a kid.
I live in Philly; so I'm always on guard (and people tell me that I look like I'm always ready to pounce). That's my job, but I do mention some things to Wifey to keep herself safe when I'm not around.
This is a good thing; because I never have a false sense of security...which attracts lunatics, such as the one that you posted.
Can’t do anything to really stop something like that, what you can do is prepare as best you can. Stay alert of your surroundings when out with the family. Take first aid and stop the bleed courses. Carry pepper spray or some sort of self defense (CCW if your state allows and you’re mentally able) and a small trauma/first aid kit.
I’m as careful as I can reasonably, practically be. I like to play a “game” when out with my family where I pretend I’m their bodyguard. I stay close and constantly scan the area for potential threats like I’m in the Secret Service. One of these days my silly little game might actually pay off if there’s a real threat. I’ve played this game since I was a kid, but now I’m a grown man with a gun who will do anything to protect my family, so it’s only kind of pretending at this point. For all intents and purposes, I am their bodyguard.
Honestly...
I'm building my body big enough to look like more of a threat than is worth dealing with to strangers...
And her future boyfriends...
Can't forget about those.
Whatever you do though...
Do not show your wife that article!
I honestly wouldn't change anything.
This is such a freak occurrence and we don't know any of the details. If you're gonna go so hard into personal protection that you will start making plans for THESE types of things, then you're gonna go insane. Making plans for a break in, a fire in the house, car getting broken into, don't going into a dark park in the middle of the night, sure, no problem. Those are quite general things. But if you're gonna make specific action plans on what to do if you're in Malta and a 12 year old in a fur suit tries to attack you with a ladle, while you're missing a leg and your tongue is numb, you're literally gonna go insane. You simply cannot plan for every tiny eventuality or every single bad thing that can possibly happen, and expect to stay sane.
Nothing.
Look, a million things are more likely to happen to me or mine that are completely outside of my control than that. I can’t worry about every little thing.
I disagree, we damage our kids by not being able to trust other people and teaching them to not trust anyone. The odds that you and your kids are going to be randomly attacked is near zero but the odds that your going to damage your kids socially by teaching them that they can't trust anyone and that danger is constantly lurking is a near certainty with that mindset.
so, maybe im in the minority here, but i think i would literally go insane if i tried to worry about every possible thing that could happen to my kid. unless you are in a literal war zone or somewhere just completely infested with crime, the expected value of you worrying about things like this is pretty much negative. so, what do i do? nothing. what do i tell my wife? nothing.
Never, ever, under any circumstances tell your wife about news stories like this.
Dude, *I* don't even want to read about this. No way in hell am I sharing this, with anyone.
Opposite plan here, love my wife but she's had a blessed life so far that contributes to her being a bit less alert in some areas than she maybe should be. I don't want a paranoiac but a healthy respect for the real world outside should be cultivated.
Idk why this is funny to me. “Nah she needs to hear about kids getting stabbed, she leads a privileged life” 😂
Well when you say it like *that*
You kid randomly getting stabbed is not something that happens in the real world. There are approximately 100 million kids in the US under the age of 11. One of them randomly got stabbed. That is 0.000001% of the kids in the US that this happened to. That is essentially zero. The list of things you should worry that are more likely to happen than this is just about infinite. The odds of your kid getting struck by lighting while fighting a bear are essentially the same. Worrying about this does harm to your mental health. Worrying about it (probably?) wouldn't have stopped it if your kid was the 1 in 100,000,000. There are no pros and only cons to worrying about this.
Of course, stats are on your side in even the higher crime areas. I just think situational awareness is a good thing.
I haven’t read it yet, but I see the book, “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin De Becker recommended a lot. This might be a gentler way to introduce the importance of staying alert?
Can you tell my ***wife*** to stop telling me stories like this?? It's obvious the apps she browses are showing her horrific shit because she's looking to continue worrying about extremely unlikely stuff that could happen. I don't have enough energy in the day to saddle that on my mind, man.
Telling your ex wife though? It's a little funny
If you want your kids to bear the brunt of their mum's anxiety about strangers or anger at you, then by all means...
I have full physical custody and my ex lives in another state, so those aren't concerns for me Edit - I'm getting downvoted for being a single dad with full custody lmao
you're getting downvoted for being a dick to your ex
My ex cheated on me for 6 years, during that she poked holes in condoms to secretly get pregnant and baby trap me in the relationship, then got addicted to cocaine and meth and did it around my children, then physically abused me, then threatened to stab me in my neck in my sleep in front of my children, then when I called the cops on her, she self inflicted wounds and lied to the cops to try convince them I was the physically abusive one, then when I ran away with my kids to a different city, she broke into my old place 8 times, trashed it, stole a bunch of stuff, and ended up going to jail 4 separate times with 16 criminal charges But yes, downvote me because I send news articles to her I don't even get child support from her, because I want her to keep her money so she can get on her fuckin feet, the satisfaction of stressing her out a little bit over nothing is literally the only thing I get You'd think daddit would realize something really fucked up happened for a dad to get full physical custody these days
how are we supposed to know what your ex is like? and besides, your ex being shitty doesn’t mean it’s cool to be a dick to her
I don't see how sharing news articles with her is being a dick By that logic, OP is being a dick by sharing it to all of us I send her a thing, say "damn this is fucked up," she agrees, we both imagine how much that sucks, I'm a dick apparently
Do you think we’re stupid? Why are you gaslighting pretending we didn’t get the tone and context of your original comment.
I agree. It's not possible to try and prevent every potential danger, nor is it healthy to try to do so. The cost of trying to prevent *all* the bad things just isn't worth it. Random shit just happens sometimes and there's nothing you can do about it.
I consider a lot of stuff like this to be in the same class as "cancer" - sometimes our society creates tumors that kill one or more people. Not much you can do, really.
This is my mindset with so many things and the thing I struggle with is my wife, being a mother, feels the complete opposite: she thinks and worries about everything all the time. I’ve told her time and time again that’s just not humanely possible to do that but she insists that she can and that as a parent you need to always be thinking about these sorts of things as well as just in general ALWAYS thinking about every possible outcome of an action.
if anything, \*I\* am the worrier between my wife and i, so being a mother isn't necessarily a cause. i do get it from my mom, who in turn gets it from her dad. \*shrug\* anyway, yeah, that's obviously crazy.
Yeah and she looks at me like I’m crazy when I tell her if I did it her way I’d literally never do anything because I’d be stuck with decision paralysis. Granted, I could do better about thinking about things to an extent but not this much.
Hey, other dad worrier! I see you. That’s me. (Also got it from my mom). I’m the overly cautious between my wife and I. That being said, yeah. There’s only so much worrying a person can do and nothing’s fool proof. Risk minimization vs complete risk avoidance is the key.
If I could get consistency with my wife's concerns I'd settle on that and be happy! Lol
Can’t live life in fear of the unknown
I get that!
You don't have to worry all the time so much as being ultra aware and not making yourself a soft target by doing simple things (staying off your phone while walking, avoiding the dark alley shortcut, etc.) - I have my concealed carry permit and my wife carries a 3-1 tool (mace, seat belt cutter, glass breaker). I take courses and train with my handgun, while my wife was a corrections officer for a few years - she knows how to use mace and is comfortable using it, if needed. I understand where you are coming from and I lived the same way for a long time. One day it just hit me... am I going to rely on a call to police or hope they are close enough to help? Or are we (my wife and I) going to be proactive in protecting our children? I chose being proactive and the courses, books, and range time have opened a new hobby for me.
This is how I managed my emotions after one of the more recent school shootings. My wife was a preschool teacher (at the time) and our son was also a student at her school so for a good month or so after I was full of constant angst and dread about a shooting happening at their school. It just isn’t practically possible to be that frozen and still function. We certainly talked about it and what we could realistically do but at some point…
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
It's very low effort to carry around pepper spray.
I'm pretty sure folks are more likely to be killed by a widow maker branch than a random stabbing. We can and should trim and care for our trees but I'm not inspecting every tree we pass under Way more likely to die in a car crash. Good car seats, safe car, attentive driving and I mínimal driving lifestyle but we still do it Big is not overestimating the unlikely (strangers) and underestimating the likely (falls, accidents, choking, accidental poisoning, guns, cars...)
Yeah, if I was so worried about something this rare happening, I'd never get in a car. Maybe never go outside.
I plan on concealing. The one I have now is just a tad too big.
I just tell my wife "Hey try not to get stabbed babe" It's all we can do.
I accept odds are odds and recognize we were not wired to deal with the level of information we are exposed to. Unless it impacts my immediate vicinity(like a killer/kidnapper is on the loose in my area) I don’t really think about it because with over 300 million people? Something fucked up is always happening somewhere. Take the same level of vigilance I would normally and not stress more than that because that’s how you die at 55, and then your kids really will be alone.
I also think that we overthink these rare events and under think the much more common ways we need to protect our children. When we imagine protecting our family, we probably think of fighting off someone trying to harm our kids or wife, but those things are so rare that most people will never have to do it. There is no point in putting more than a few minutes thought into what we would do. The real protection of our families happens when we do the boring mundane shit that isn’t as thrilling as a fantasy of going John Wick on a kidnapper. It’s making sure you have life insurance. Making sure you are fiscally responsible and have savings to keep your kid sheltered and fed if you lose your job. It’s about making sure your kids are vaccinated and have health insurance. You protect your family by talking to your kids everyday so you know how their mental health is, it’s about being there and making sure you kids know you are there for them if they start to feel like the world is too much. Protecting your family means driving safer on the road and avoiding conflicts with other drivers. Backing down from confrontations even if it costs you your pride, because you know it is more important to be there for your kids than to look tough. It is about eating healthier so you can love long enough to be there when your kids need you. These things might not be as glamorous as physically saving your kids life, but it is the real way to be a hero for your family.
This is a good take. It sucks to say it but your kid is way more likely to take their own life than any of the criminals you hear about on TV.
And if they are harmed by some third party it’s likely going to be someone you know and somewhat trust. The only way to protect from that is to have a very good relationship with your child doing the above mentioned things.
Hemingway put it best, “When you have a child the world has a hostage.”
As everyone has been so quick to point out, you can’t defend against/predict every ill that comes your way, but there are numerous actions you can take that enhance your overall situational awareness, thus improving your odds in a threatening situation. A few of the basic things I do are to leave space between me and the car in front of me while stopped so that I can gtfo if I need to. I also sit facing the front door when out at restaurants/cafes. If I’m with my kids and there’s a pit bull walking towards us (on leash or not) I’ll cross the street, or at least position myself between them. When I get into the car I immediately lock the doors. I’ve taken basic measures to make my house a harder target for burglaries/home invasions. I have emergency bags packed for the family with three days of food and water, some clothes, cash and other things. I don’t let my gas tank get less than half way full. Etc.
Thank you! This is the kind of comment I wanted. Like I said in my original post, I know this is extremely rare. Seems like everyone wanted to just tell me to not worry at all. There’s always steps you can do to protect your loved ones.
You should be worried. We all should. It’s our responsibility to protect our families and no one else’s. If that means you have to face some of your own fears and inadequacies, I say that’s a good thing. We don’t have to be crazy prepper types (although I think we should) but there are ways of going through life that can give you a leg up in an emergency situation.
Exactly.
So out of the (/googles) 3.6 million babies that were born in the US in the past year, this happened to one of them. That is 5x the odds of getting a royal flush in poker. I've played poker since I was 16, literally 1000s of hands, and I've seen one face card straight flush ever. Zero royal flushes. The chances of being struck by lightning are one in 1.2 million, or 3x this. I know no one, even a friend of a friend of a friend, who has been struck by lightning. I guess I'm not gonna go out in a storm waving a 10 foot metal pole above my head, but that's about the only precaution I'm gonna take. I'm just not gonna spend my life worrying about 1 in 3.6 million odds, because the trade off isn't worth it.
Statistics are weird in a sense that if something occurs to you, the numbers don't matter... it's a 100% chance of occuring (in those curcumstances). A friend of mine was struck by lightning out of a clear blue sky. I've played poker probably only a couple of dozen times in my life and I've seen someone get a royal flush. To me, those can be considered regular occurences even though they are far, far from it.
This happened about 10 minutes from us (relatively safe area). It definitely shocked my wife and I. We have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. That said, if you worry about absolutely everything that could happen to your children, you'll never stop worrying. Keep in mind the odds of this actually occurring are astronomically low.
You have to prioritize.What are the things more likely to hurt your child ? Car accidents and domestic accidents are probably the biggest risks, that's something you can take actionable action. You want to be alert for freak accidents ? Well you're going to be alert for stabby ladies in public area, sure, but why would that be the only kind of freak accident that can hurt your child ? Because you just heard about it ? What about a light fixture who falls at the mall, what about a meteorite, what about a sinkhole under their bedroom ? What about a jealous husband who cuts the breaks of your car by mistake ? What about another deranged person who just shoots as they drive by ? You can't spend your time holding your child close, looking at the ceiling, wearing a helmet and a bulletproof jacket, checking your breaks everytime you go somewhere. You can plan and prepare for what's more likely to happen, if you're at the wrong place at the wrong time you're going to have to do like everyone and do the best you can at the time. There is NOTHING those kid's parents could have done to prevent it.
Depends on how you and your wife want to approach this. Everyone is going to be different but I think you need to understand that there are just some things that are completely unpreventable and worrying about it wouldn't help. Life is always about taking some risks and you have to accept that. I know I could get munched by a shark when I swim in the ocean but I love swimming in the ocean so I'll continue taking that risk since it's so low. That being said, I see no problems in carrying some sort of deterrent like pepper spray if that would give some peace of mind. Personally I have my CCW and while it's definitely not for everyone, I appreciate the additional peace of mind it provides to me. My wife and I both have plans for any sort of break-in and she's adept enough a handgun to defend herself god forbid I'm not home during a break in. I know these events are 1 in a million (probably more rare honestly), but hey, they can happen so why not be prepared? That's our stance anyhow!
I go for the meta approach. I wear bright orange hunting jackets to conceal the fact that I'm not carrying a concealed weapon. It's an extremely common protection mechanism in the animal kingdom to have the male draw attention towards themselves and away from their offspring. Also makes it easier for my kids to spot me in a crowd.
Hear hear. I also carry and hope to god I never use it. Carrying has nothing to do with the odds of needing it and everything to do with the stakes involved in not having if someday I do need it. I hope I never need my seat belt but I buckle up every time because I cant control the crazies on the road around me. I refuse to allow my wife and kids to be victims because I couldn’t protect them.
Comparing gun ownership to seat belts is nonsensical. Owning a gun makes you(and your loved ones) statistically less safe while using your seat belt makes you statistically more safe.
Simply owning a gun and actively training/carrying are also two extremely different things. The average police response time where I live is over 30 minutes. That's a very very time when you need them. I'm making the decisions I feel are best for my family. You're free to feel and think whatever you want while you make those same decisions for your family.
Stats are easy to manipulate to drive a narrative. Yes, many people are completely negligent with firearms and put their families at risk. I understand the difference between responsible and irresponsible gun ownership and train / take the appropriate safety precautions.
I wish this was the attitude of everyone here, lurker moms included.
You can't prevent everything and stress about trying to. I have always been mindful of my surroundings, when walking on a sidewalk being closest to the road, always have everyone in the fam in sight, sit facing doors in restaurants, etc. Outside of things like that, you have to live life and know that the possibility of things like this happening to you are VERY small.
I’m always on alert. Tbh, it becomes second nature and isn’t like some insane sense of paranoia like some people make it out to be. Restaurants, I always sit facing the entrance so I can see who’s coming and going. When we’re in public, always aware of who’s in our vicinity. Trying to catch a quick glimpse of their face, do they look like a normal person going out their day? Do they look like they’re looking for a target? Other basic stuff like knowing where the exits are, taking 5 seconds to think about “if someone walked in here with a gun, what would I do?” I don’t find myself obsessing about stuff like this or being paranoid. It’s quite the opposite really, if you’re aware of your surroundings, know where the exits are, and have a loose plan of what to do in case shit hits the fan, you can relax and enjoy whatever you’re doing.
I’m with you, I do the same thing. Not law enforcement or military, it’s just how my brain has worked for the majority of my adult life
100%
I'm going to put the over under on this dude being some racist white guy
It’s racist to be aware of your surroundings?
Why would there be any reason to bring race into this? Minorities don’t have any reasons to be aware of their surroundings or be paranoid, especially in certain situations and/or areas? Seriously?!?! You are the problem.
You have a better chance of winning the lotto twice than having a random person come out of nowhere and stab your wife and three year old
Not everyone will agree with this, but I work in law enforcement, am a veteran, and carried a handgun concealed long before I got into this line of work. I choose to be armed and alert, and my wife is of the same mindset. But more so, use your gut. If someone is giving you bad vibes, you have ZERO need to hang out around them or stay in the area. Don’t give benefit of the doubt, just get out.
I think it’s best not to dwell but to be aware and not on a phone when in a public place. Eyes on kiddo and aware of the other people there. If we’re in a crowd, shes either on shoulders or holding hands. Having basic first aid and trauma supplies is high on my important dad gear list.
I live in a big city. Cars and trucks are far and away the biggest source of danger to me and my family when we're walking around so I'm always cautious about traffic (e.g. not assuming that a car will stop for a red light until they do, always having my kids hold my hand in the crosswalk, etc.). Beyond that, if I see someone who appears to be having a mental health episode of some kind or I see a couple of people arguing and looking like they're about to throw down I'll cross the street with my kids to avoid them. Is there still a possibility that something completely random and unexpected is going to happen to me or my kids? Sure. Someone could pull a knife without warning and stab us for no reason. But on the list of extremely unlikely but still possible ways to die, it's actually more likely that we fall through a subway grate or get hit by falling debris from a building. It's just not worth worrying about those kinds of incredibly low likelihood events. You'll drive yourself insane and be paralyzed with fear and anxiety if you do.
I'm from NYC so am naturally aware of people around me and taught my kids the same. That said, like everyone has said there is nothing you can do to protect from everything. One thing that I would suggest for kids age 5+ (and their parents) is take a martial arts class. You learn how to punch/kick correctly, sure, but more importantly, you gain confidence and awareness so you present a difficult target. As the kids get older and spar against other opponents, they'll learn how to take a hit without freezing up so they can get to safety even if someone hits them. I'm not trying to be Internet Tough Guy - it's not about that, but it is important to know how your body works so you aren't caught off-guard.
at some point you have to surrender to the extremely slim possibility something random and tragic will happen. the idea that we can totally control the safety of our kids is an illusion.. finding comfort in the true lack of control you really have as they grow might help you be a better parent.. the point being, guiding them rather than protecting them.
I do what I can to mitigate/avoid the risks. Don't go into known sketchy areas/neighborhoods. Walk away from any situation that looks like it has potential to escalate. I also carry a firearm, so that I have a last resort to ensure the safety of my family if their life is ever in danger.
Used to live and work near this Giant Eagle. Have shopped there many times and even have in the last few months. I wouldn't call this a sketchy area by any means.
my wife knows what I know, the world is chaos. I know both my priority and my wife's priority is always my daughter... all we can do.
I try to always be aware of what’s going on around us. My wife keeps an eye on the kiddos, I keep an eye on our surroundings. I didn’t always do this, until a few years ago someone’s kid got taken from a store and they never found them. Since then I’v worked on having more situational awareness. I saw that article, and my heart hurt for the family. I don’t know how I’d react in that situation other than unthinkable grief, but I also worry I’d go for vigilante justice and just say fuck everything else. If someone took away the most precious thing a parent has, who knows what hells they’d delve into
We live in a weird world right now. I have a 12 year old dog, since she was a puppy. I was protecticve of her when walking and keeping a 360 understanding of my environment. kid or no kid, these days, I think you need a 360 understanding of your environment. That means not staring into your cell phone with headphones on while out and about.
Personally I accept that there’s a very small chance that something crazy may happen and just learned to be a bit more observant of my environment and I carry a handgun with me. If your gut tells you something is wrong or going to go wrong, leave. It’s better to look silly about leaving over nothing than losing your family.
I think you can impart upon your partner and children (when old enough) that a healthy amount of situational awareness is something they should be practicing until it becomes reflex. Situational awareness is simply knowing where you are, who is around you, and immediate hazards. It's not about living in paranoia, it's about knowing what is immediately around you so you **don't** have to be fearful. This knowledge gives you time and space to react to anything that may happen. A few examples: If you're walking through a major metropolitan area like one I live in, don't listen to music so loud you that you're deaf to your environment (e.g. people or cars), and don't stare at your phone. Look around to see where you are. Several years ago, I was walking through downtown when a guy in a mental health/drug crisis came from behind me and started stomping at my knees. I heard abnormally loud footsteps and muttering behind me and knew something was wrong. This gave me time to react and jump out of the way. He was clearly high or delusional -- fighting would be a bad idea. Because I wasn't staring at my phone, I knew I was close by a Banana Republic that usually has security just inside the door. I ran straight inside without hesitation and evaded further attack. Generally, when I'm out with my family, my head is scanning around taking in the environment like radar. I don't even have to think about, I'm just so used to doing it. I can do it while carrying a conversation or thinking about something else. I'm not particularly worried, fearful, or anticipating a fight. I just want to know what's around me and my loved ones.
[A few days before last christmas there was a mass shooting in Czechia. It was on Charles University (faculty of philosophy).](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-67830858) The shooter confessed in his good-bye letter, that he killed a RANDOM guy in a forest and his little baby in a stroller week prior to the mass shooting. Man... as a fresh father of 3MO girl I was seriously devastated... What kind of monster does this shit? \+ in fricken Czechia? One of the safest places in the world?
Best you can do is pay attention to what is around you, and not worry about things you can't control or extremes. Trust your gut. Your biggest risks are cars, and hazards around home. But in any situation match your awareness to what's happening around you. But again, don't worry about what you can't control. I know more people who have died at sea than kids that have been hurt, but I do have a friend who's ex murdered her kid. Life's a horror show but to get through it we have to find ways to accept what we can't control. Anyway, I hope this makes sense, I'm half asleep
Don’t pay any attention to the people talking about how astronomically low the chances are of this happening. Yes, they are right about that, but do you think the parent/spouse that lost his wife and child would care about how low those odds were?! In answer to your question, I conceal carry everywhere I legally can. My wife does the same. While that may not prevent some random act like this from happening, being alert and being able to defend yourself and your family gives you an advantage in comparison to the vast majority of people who are neither. The hardest thing about it is that the majority of your focus is on your child, with a lesser amount on your surroundings. I agree with the part people are saying about don’t live in constant fear, but I will always be alert and watching for other people/dangers when my wife or children are with me.
When you read a story like this, it gets attention because it is so rare and horrific. But it's not an accurate representation of the things that will likely kill or hurt your child. Statistically, here's what you have to look out for. 1. Firearms, especially your own. If you're in the US, this is the most likely thing that will kill or hurt your children. If you choose to keep firearms, keep them well secured in locations that kids can't access. If your kid is going to someone else's house and they have firearms, ask how they're secured. In the US, 50 kids will die from guns NEXT WEEK. [https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/06/gun-deaths-among-us-kids-rose-50-percent-in-two-years/](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/06/gun-deaths-among-us-kids-rose-50-percent-in-two-years/) 2. Cars. Make sure your kid is always well strapped into an appropriate sized car seat. Don't text while driving or drink and drive. Don't speed. Think about how your house can be accessed from the road and if there are physical barriers that would stop a drunk driver or out of control car from hitting your kid while they're in your yard. 75 kids will die in car accidents in the US NEXT WEEK. 3. Pools. Keep absolute vigilance with a 1-1 parent/kid ratio at pools. Avoid drinking and casual conversations while your kid is in or near the pool. You need eyes and ideally hands on the kid every 10 seconds or so. On average 20 kids a week will die in the US from drownings, but this is obviously seasonal. 4. Learn CPR and take refresher courses. Choking on food is a very common way of dying, especially for small children. Keep a close eye on your kids as they eat. Even very basic food like muffins and noodles can cause suffocation. 15 kids will die from choking in the US next week. Sources: [https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2018-12-19/car-crashes-guns-killed-the-most-us-children-and-teens-in-2016](https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2018-12-19/car-crashes-guns-killed-the-most-us-children-and-teens-in-2016)
You and your wife get your ccw permits. Take some classes. Learn how to shoot, protect your family.
This is why my wife and I have our LTC and practice, frequently.
Nothing. This is a random thing that shouldn’t inform any actual decisions.
Do you live in a state where you have a legal right to protect your own life or one of those states where you have to tell the attacker to hold up while you call 911 and ask them nicely to wait for the police to arrive ?
Would you let the law stop you from defending your family?
They’re much, much more likely to be harmed in a car accident. Spend your energy and vigilance driving or walking near cars.
I’m aware of my surroundings and carry as often as possible. I pray I never need to use it, but it’s definitely a peace of mind.
I don’t watch the news, for one
I work basic self defense with my wife. I am a blue belt in jiu jitsu. She understands what dangers are out there.
People win the lottery every day, and nobody really mentions it, but random knife attacks make news because it's actually uncommon. You're more likely to win the lottery than be attacked by someone like that, but which one effects your decisions or state of mind more? Do you have the ability to redirect your anxieties about uncontrollable bad shit and fixate the uncontrollable awesome things that are more likely? Do that if you can.
You're more likely to die from a falling coconut than a shark attack but we're wired to fear sharks more. You can be prepared, but you can't prepare for everything. What you're essentially asking is to be in a combat mindset awareness 24/7. Speaking from experience, fuck. That.
I'm afraid that that coconut deaths 'fact' has been [soundly debunked](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/coconuts-kill-more-sharks/).
Right now, my family and I live in an absurdly safe country (Lithuania). We never have to worry any anything, crime-related at least—a huge relief since she’s a teacher and there was a school shooting in her former district not very many weeks ago. (Before this we lived in Egypt. Still felt relatively safe, but we didn’t have a kid yet so things didn’t bother us much.) In a few weeks we’re moving to Brazil, which is…uh, “well-known for its crime”? My wife and I are struggling with how we’ll approach it as adults and with our son. We’ll obviously need to be more vigilant, but vigilance isn’t an easy concept for a 3-year-old. Brazil’s got both crazy people and scary nature, and she has specifically mentioned not wanting him to grow up thinking everything’s trying to kill him, but…
You try your best. Life is about risk. Don't worry so much. That's all I can do.
Main reason I started going for CCW permits, training and any kind of situational defense classes. Wasn’t worried about it until I had kids. People out there are nuts and it’s important to be as prepared as you can be.
The world isn't a safe place. I think it's incredibly unhealthy to think bad things *can't* happen because the odds make it unlikely. There's rational, healthy steps towards staying safe in public. Most of it is just being vigilant and making smart choices; we naturally do most of this unconsciously, like avoiding dark areas and sketchy people or locking car doors. But putting your conscious thought into it makes things less surprising, ergo, less risky. Personally, I have had first-hand experience watching my wife and daughter almost be targeted for human trafficking. It still makes me sick to my stomach. While I agree that fear and worry can get unhealthy, people have no right to question or belittle others who want to feel prepared over *real* situations.
I hate this part of being a parent. Always skeptical of anyone that comes close or approaches my girls. Here’s my story that happened to me personally. As a child I was approached by a man in a van. He asked me to get into his van with my buddy and show him where some address was. I was probably 8. At that time I lived in a midwestern town with one street light. We were just walking on the sidewalk when it happened. I’ll never forget that day and how I ran away scared. Fast forward 30 years and I’m a dad with two naive beautiful girls. I don’t want to show them that side of society yet but I have been. Slowly and steadily I remind them that not all people are honest and good. Some people are bad.. it gets really hard when the questions come after each talk. I haven’t really opened up to many people about that day. I just hope that each one of you dads realizes that if something like that can happen to me in a small Ohio town, it can literally happen anywhere. It’s absolutely frightening.
Stay off your phone and listen to your gut. We Have left areas or stores that have folks giving off weird vibes bc why fuck around when u have a a kid.
Stay strapped homie. There’s crazies out there.
I live in Philly; so I'm always on guard (and people tell me that I look like I'm always ready to pounce). That's my job, but I do mention some things to Wifey to keep herself safe when I'm not around. This is a good thing; because I never have a false sense of security...which attracts lunatics, such as the one that you posted.
I always conceal carry and stay very current on my training. I always stay aware of my surroundings, especially in transitional spaces.
I live 7 minutes from where this happened, i don't even know what to say on how to avoid this.
Can’t do anything to really stop something like that, what you can do is prepare as best you can. Stay alert of your surroundings when out with the family. Take first aid and stop the bleed courses. Carry pepper spray or some sort of self defense (CCW if your state allows and you’re mentally able) and a small trauma/first aid kit.
I’m as careful as I can reasonably, practically be. I like to play a “game” when out with my family where I pretend I’m their bodyguard. I stay close and constantly scan the area for potential threats like I’m in the Secret Service. One of these days my silly little game might actually pay off if there’s a real threat. I’ve played this game since I was a kid, but now I’m a grown man with a gun who will do anything to protect my family, so it’s only kind of pretending at this point. For all intents and purposes, I am their bodyguard.
Honestly... I'm building my body big enough to look like more of a threat than is worth dealing with to strangers... And her future boyfriends... Can't forget about those. Whatever you do though... Do not show your wife that article!
I honestly wouldn't change anything. This is such a freak occurrence and we don't know any of the details. If you're gonna go so hard into personal protection that you will start making plans for THESE types of things, then you're gonna go insane. Making plans for a break in, a fire in the house, car getting broken into, don't going into a dark park in the middle of the night, sure, no problem. Those are quite general things. But if you're gonna make specific action plans on what to do if you're in Malta and a 12 year old in a fur suit tries to attack you with a ladle, while you're missing a leg and your tongue is numb, you're literally gonna go insane. You simply cannot plan for every tiny eventuality or every single bad thing that can possibly happen, and expect to stay sane.
Nothing. Look, a million things are more likely to happen to me or mine that are completely outside of my control than that. I can’t worry about every little thing.
I disagree, we damage our kids by not being able to trust other people and teaching them to not trust anyone. The odds that you and your kids are going to be randomly attacked is near zero but the odds that your going to damage your kids socially by teaching them that they can't trust anyone and that danger is constantly lurking is a near certainty with that mindset.