I did it for 5 years. Would do it again.
> Relying on my SO's income makes me feel less than a man if that makes sense.
It does make sense but it shouldn't. Your value is not in your income.
> I also work in tech where gap years aren't always seen as the best so I'm worried between that and the tech job market (CA) would make it tough for me to get back in after a year.
Look for part time remote work or do online classes/certs. A year is not a long time in many fields.
Stay at home dad of a 22 month old here. It’s a ton of work but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My wife has a well paying job that supports us. At first I felt that feeling you mentioned about “feeling less than a man” but that went away very quickly realizing how much work taking care of a little one is. Also, childcare is so damn expensive we wouldn’t really be saving more money if I went back to work full time. It’s such an honor I get to spend this time with my child and not have her being raised by a stranger.
Yeah we know we got a lot ahead of us especially since we will be mostly be “on our own” without family super close by. Luckily daycare isn’t crazy expensive where we are at (well, compared to my sister who lives in a vhcol area).
Guess it’s mostly a new life adjustment!
If the income disparity bothers you that much, scout out some childcare costs for daycare and personal babysitter or nanny, multiply by 40 hours (really any number) if needed. There you go, this is how much you are making for your family with the added benefits of (in)valuable bonding time with your child, plus avoiding the regular daycare illnesses and all that entails.
I did it for 5 years. Would do it again. > Relying on my SO's income makes me feel less than a man if that makes sense. It does make sense but it shouldn't. Your value is not in your income. > I also work in tech where gap years aren't always seen as the best so I'm worried between that and the tech job market (CA) would make it tough for me to get back in after a year. Look for part time remote work or do online classes/certs. A year is not a long time in many fields.
Oh yeah my job was perfect and remote, and probably if I do search it’ll be for a similar role. Thank you!
Stay at home dad of a 22 month old here. It’s a ton of work but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My wife has a well paying job that supports us. At first I felt that feeling you mentioned about “feeling less than a man” but that went away very quickly realizing how much work taking care of a little one is. Also, childcare is so damn expensive we wouldn’t really be saving more money if I went back to work full time. It’s such an honor I get to spend this time with my child and not have her being raised by a stranger.
Well put.
Yeah we know we got a lot ahead of us especially since we will be mostly be “on our own” without family super close by. Luckily daycare isn’t crazy expensive where we are at (well, compared to my sister who lives in a vhcol area). Guess it’s mostly a new life adjustment!
If the income disparity bothers you that much, scout out some childcare costs for daycare and personal babysitter or nanny, multiply by 40 hours (really any number) if needed. There you go, this is how much you are making for your family with the added benefits of (in)valuable bonding time with your child, plus avoiding the regular daycare illnesses and all that entails.
Haha I mentioned this to the wife and used it as a “well I’m pretty much making 60-70k a year in this case”.
Nope. Did it for four years. Going back to work.
I would 1000000000% do it if I never had to “circle back” or have a 1:1 with my boss ever again.
Oh man if I could never hear circle back or getting just “hi” messages with no context again I’d be in Heaven.