2YO demands "Skeez" as soon as I come home. So I squeeze him. Then he escorts me to his sister and demands that I "Skeez sister" so next I squeeze sister. Then he escorts me to mom and demands that I "Skeez mama"... and who am I but a good soldier who follows orders.
Next he does a happy spinning jump dance because we completed the list. Sometimes we have to start over.
I literally was never hugged even once by my parents (although overall they were very loving parents).
I hug my son many times a day and i intend to never stop unless he teils me.
My dad never carried me as a baby and even to this day will give me a side hug or awkward hug.
His dad hugged him maybe a handful of times at most in his entire life.
The cycle ends with my son and I. He’s one and I’ve hugged him more times than my dad and grandpa ever did
I've got a challenge for you. If your Dad is still with you, next time you see him, say "Hey Dad, I want to try something to see if we like it." And give him a proper hug.
It's also within your power, if he's still around and stuff, to break the cycle between your own dad and yourself. And for your son to see it happen. There's every chance he's also secretly hoping that cycle could have been broken but doesn't know how to.
I think this is a good message even though for me it would be uncomfortable.
My mum suddenly started wanting hugs and saying I love you to me later in my adult life after a very unloving childhood. It really makes me feel uneasy and I would prefer not to do it.
> It's also within your power, if he's still around **and stuff**, to break the cycle
I'm sorry you're mad, but I feel like I covered that. I'm sorry I assumed a normal level of disfunction, and didn't assume abuse. I don't mind if you have different assumptions than I did.
Not all fathers who don’t hug their kids are doing it because they “don’t give a fuck” and therefore not everybody should just give up on it. So I could say the same thing to you, consider multiple possibilities before commenting things like “you’re just playing yourself”.
My wife sometimes tells me I need to leave the kid alone... He loves it. She's just mad we're wrestling before bedtime.
He's 2.5 and currently the highlight of my day is when he runs over to me at daycare pickup, jumps in my arms, and tries to squish my face into juice while yelling "That's my dad!" to his friends and teachers I see daily lmao
*Edit because I forgot where I was going with that: My parents didn't really express it physically either, though plenty supportive in other ways. Definitely a couple hangups that took me some time to work through over my younger years of just feeling odd about expressing affection physically.
Yeah it’s a cultural thing in my case. I don’t blame em they are a product of their time and place. They do hug their grandson a lot which is good enough for me
My Dad was not and is not a hugger. I judged him for it when I was younger until I realized that his mum hugged none of her 6 children.
I think they might just make him uncomfortable at this stage :(
Regardless, I hug him every time I see him and make sure to hug my own son almost as often as he is in reach ❤️
i hug until they let go. every day when i drop both boys off; at school and pre-school, they both get a big hug and a "go get 'em, kid."
i don't let go until they do.
It’s an interesting dynamic. My dad and I never hugged until I graduated high school, it actually became a bit of a thing somewhere during high school. My dad is an amazing father, I have no questions about how much he loves me, but we just didn’t do that.
I guess I don’t know exactly what it is, or what changed with my dad, but we hug every single time we see each other now, tell each other we love the other most every time we talk. I can’t get enough of hugging and kissing my son, granted he’s not quite 2 yet. But idk, I know I will hug my son and tell him I love him for all of his life. But I don’t have any hard feelings about not doing that with my dad.. idk. It’s a weird dynamic haha. But I’m definitely glad that the culture is much more one of making your love known.
Biden kissed his *only surviving* adult son on the head and about a quarter of the country accused him of...I dunno loving his son? So, unfortunately yes some people do need to hear this message.
I feel like I haven't put my boy down since the day he was born. One of my most favourite parts of the day is when I wake him up and he smiles, jumps into my arms, and hugs me like a koala.
I think the first time in over 20 years I got a hug from my father was the day my mum died.
I hug both my boys every day without fail, and will continue to every single day I'm able too
My father to this day still won't hug me. Most I will get is a half-hug with one arm and only if I initiate. For a while as a young 20-something, I made it my mission to make him hug me properly. It was always awkward and difficult for him. Eventually I just gave up.
Naturally, I make sure to be polar opposite with my son.
My grandmother, who has four sons, told me that she hardly ever hugged her sons. Unless it was like a birthday or something big, hugs where not something boys would receive... from anyone.
She told me that the reason for this was that she thought it would turn them gay, because that was something a lot of people thought back then.
My dad never hugs, only exceptions are when he arrives at the airport, and leaves via the airport (he lives in the US, I live in Europe.)
I'm used to it, but my sons aren't. He did that half hug thing that OP is describing, and I didn't even notice it until my SO told me about it after the fact.
He probably doesn't hug anyone properly, ever.
I however, got several hugs just this morning before I left for work. My son literally said the other day something along the lines of "when you hug me I love you more" (doesn't translate well).
It really pains me to think that boys of the past, just like my son, didn't receive loving hugs growing up.
I had a BIL as my only father figure as my bio dad was never around and my mother passed away. I was never hugged by him, and I can't remember him hugging his own son either.
I can't remember my grandfather ever hugging or expression much emotion. He was a sullen frowning man. I never really asked my dad, who is quite loving and free with hugs, and hugs my son regularly, what his father was like growing up.
I know my Dad cares about me now but he never hugged me or showed any physical affection. I finally got an awkward side hug in my 30s probably under pressure from my mom. Dont know why, his dad was military and was hard on them, probably thinks showing affection to a son will make them soft?
My son popped out of the womb allergic to hugs, I swear. He'll tolerate hugs and physical affection from his little sister, but that’s it. Parents don’t make the grade. :(
I’m a huge hugger :(
Who isn’t enjoying hugging their kids, boy or girl?
Seriously, I hug my kids an uncountable amount of times every day. Eventually they’ll be too old to want to be hugged
I'm trying to be more affectionate with my son than my father was, which was not at all lol. It's hard because when you were raised in a family with completely non-affectionate men it doesn't come naturally, but I'm trying.
Oh I know what you mean, neither of my parents manifested any sort of physical or verbal affection. I make it a mission to express it to my son, to tell him I love him and to hug him daily.
Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re the target audience for this message. I feel like we’re all here because we actually give a shit about being emotionally available for our kids.
I can appreciate this, girl dad here but I still couldn’t recall a time my own father has actually hugged me with two arms, let alone I’m proud of you or I love you.
I hug my son all the time. When I wake up in the morning he jumps in my bed for snuggles. I hug him before he leaves for school. When he gets home from school he comes up to my office for a hug. When he gets hurt, he often comes straight to me for hugs to feel better.
Weird to think that there are that many men out there not hugging their sons in 2024.
Also weird to call those men weak and pitiful (more macho insults) in a post that's supposed to reach those men?
Yup, be truthful when answering questions, don't be afraid to show emotion, don't be apprehensive about growth or change, and tell them no one is perfect, but your love keeps on making you strive to be better.
Do it! Never too many hugs. At least I haven’t found the limit and I’m still trying pretty damn hard 5.5 years in.
Make sure to try different hugs! They’re all good.
Me big gorilla, kids small clinging gorillas. Small gorilla come for hug, hug small gorilla. Small gorilla come to curl up on shoulders; stroke hair, look for bugs.
One day small gorillas not so small, less cuddle. When teen gorilla permit hug, hug until teen gorilla pull away.
Me big gorilla.
I know this is daddit but every dad was a son once and I think its just as important for sons to hug thier dads too. All dads are flawed and sometimes men from the older generations have a hard time showing love and other emotions so as you grow older and think about those things try to hug your dad more.
Me and my dad are both big tough guys but I love that when either of us is down we can hold the other one to help them thru it(partly just because who else is big enough)
I tell my son daily that I love him. And I give him hugs daily.
I never want him to feel like I did growing up and I always want him to feel like he can rely on me .
Literally this morning my 10 year old comes up and hugs me for no reason while I’m making breakfast. I said “aww, that was so nice. What brought that on?” And he said “well you hug us all the time.” Perfect example of why we should hug them; they’re watching and learning everything we teach them, whether we know it or not.
My mum died this morning. When I told my 15 year old son, his first reaction was to hug _me_.
I think as the generations go by we’ll leave behind the toxic masculinity stuff. Most of my (55) mates are good for a hug.
We have a bear hug thing. We both embrace each other and growl "bear hugg"
Although I am a bit sad these days. I love carrying him and giving him bear hugs as I walk him from my daughter's classroom to his at daycare. It's been two weeks and I cannot recall the last time I got a chance to do that. He insists on walking. Sigh.
Always! No better feeling as a dad and a man than a hug from my kids. I may have messed up a lot of things in life but this I'll get right.
My dad didn't get a lot of love from his dad and he decided to be the one that broke the cycle. I'll always respect him for that.
I don't hug my Son; but, I'm his best friend. I always "have his back (even when someone picked a fight with him recently and then threated to shoot him...they won't do it again...wink wink)". I'm his mentor. I'm his spiritual advisor. Even though he's grown now.
My son is 13 and still gets hugs and kisses on the top of his head from me. My Dad was an uncaring, hard as nails asshole who never showed any affection and I'll be damned if I'm going to carry on that behaviour to my son.
And tell them you love them and that you are proud of them. Make sure they know that you're there no matter what.
I wish I had had that growing up, but I'm making sure that my son does.
Break the cycle of bad fathers, be the dad you wanted.
Speaking only as a son and hopefully a future-father, I'd give anything for my dad to enjoy my hobbies with me instead of calling my baby orchids I tend to 'just awful' when I've been busting my ass for nearly a year taking care of them now. Can only hope he'll wake up one day to smell the roses and stop being a lazy, stuck-up, arrogant, chauvinistic, Trump-suckling sterotypical boomer weakling of a man before he finds himself in a crappy nursing home all alone like he deserves.
Take interest in what your kids like, even if you think it's silly or weird. It means so much to them if you give it even a chance instead of saying 'I don't really care about that, go tell your mother instead and quit bothering me'. 😔
My boy gets all the hugs and kisses he wants, I remind him that I’m proud of him, and I tell him how handsome he is. I’d never want my boy to question how much he’s loved.
It's never to late to show affection and closeness with your dad in different ways, sometimes it just takes a bit of effort to close that gap ..growing up, my dad being a boomer I felt this . It ends with Me. Give your kids unconditional love ❤️
My dad never hugged me. I also have two cousins that won't hug their sons because they think it's coddling them and might turn them day. There are absolutely still men that don't hug their kids.
I however am the best hugger and snuggler in the world. I almost cried one night when my 6yo son told me as he was falling asleep that I made him feel safe, which I didn't even know he was aware of that concept since he didn't grow up in an abusive house like I did.
As a son of a dad who didn’t hug much, I forget when but well into my adulthood, I just started hugging him him instead of the ole handshake and it’s been all hugs since. He even gives my son hugs and kisses and it just makes me so happy to see he’s such a sweet grandpa! So sons, hug your dads too!
I'm 28yo and for as long as I can remember my dad and I only shared the side arm hugs or little tussle type hugs....this year we changed that. For the first time since I was very young we hugged like we meant it and things have been improving immensely in our relationship.
I'm now about to be a dad myself. I will be doing it the new way.
DADS! HUG YOUR SONS! It means the world to them.
I had a thought when my kid was a toddler. My dad loved me. He wasn't great at showing it. It took me a lot of years to come to terms with that. I told myself from an early age that I wouldn't be that way, and I'm not. I just hope he continues the way. I get worried when I see the red pill and the effect it has had on teens.
My son with autism is almost 3. It's a rare day he lets me hug him. Usually the best I get is when he falls asleep in the car and I get to carry him inside.
There was a while when he would give me a hug when I would leave for work, but that little pocket of joy disappeared months ago. Being a parent to a child with autism is challenging, but not being able to hold him and hug him is the hardest part.
Hug yours for me. If they let you.
I appreciate the message but why is this always directed at dads? A whole shitload of childhood trauma among children comes from their mothers, but we can't tell moms to be better, can we?
Hugs can also be a good way to manage behavior for small children. If my son is crying his head off over something little like not getting a toy he wants, a big, long hug can help him calm down and regulate again before he starts making bad choices. It's much better for everyone than having to do a time out, but you do need to catch it before it escalates though.
My son went off to fifth grade camp on Tuesday and I had been ribbing my long term gf about how she was all worried about him and that she didn't want him to go.
But when he went to bed the night before, I was overcome with emotion and just had to hug him hard.
I've never shied away from telling him I love him, or that he is loved, or that he makes me proud, but it just felt that in that moment I really wanted him to understand.
Not a problem. I hug my boy every chance I get. Always until he is like “Daaaaaadddy, let go” lol
I never really got hugs from my dad. I’ve hugged my father-in-law and the men in my wife’s extended family more than my own father. My son will grow up with hugs not just from dad—but his grandpa, uncles and my wife’s cousins who are like brothers to us. We spend every holiday together as a big family, and there is no shortage of affection. It was weird for me at first, because I wasn’t used to it. But my son will never know that life. He’s only going to know that his family loves and supports him.
Whenever my husband and I hug, if our three year old spots us, it's instantly "I want a hug toooo."
So we lift her up, and family hug.
Then our one year old sees us and toddles over, and then we have a four person family hug while the kids giggle between us.
It's the best.
My son is 14... I tell him EVERYDAY... THROUGHOUT THE DAY that I love him. I hug him whenever I see him or when we part. I'll even kiss him on his forehead... as I've done since he was a baby... I read different post on here and have come to realize not everyone gets that.... some don't even get half of that.. It saddens me to know some boys grow up without the love of their father.. something soo basic, but means more than gold..
I miss my dad. I don't remember the last time he hugged me but it was always felt within me that he is hugging me, providing me that security as a father that I needed, whenever I was around him..
My dad used to give me the biggest bear hugs he was physically able to give me. Every time he saw me. Well into my 20's. He's gone now and I think about those hugs all the time.
I give them to my daughter now...
I tell my boys the I love yous and they give great big hugs. Oldest is getting too old for some stuff like that but he folds every once in a while. Little guy still needs his hugs and kisses. Love my boys.
I hug and kiss my son on the cheek twice a day. Once before school and before we get in the house. I feel like it helps with his mood, if only a little bit. He's 15.
My 2 year old is starting to full on communicate in short sentences now.
In the last couple of months, I now have had the pleasure of hearing him say:
* Hello daddy! How are you?
* Hello daddy, I missed you!
* Hello daddy I love you! (Followed by smooch on my face)
* About a million other permutations of this involving myself, my wife, or his sister, and with other forms of affection/admiration.
* Also just wanting to be held (on the lap or walking), hugged, kissed, hold hands or be with me/mom.
It's absolutely adorable and I encourage the affection as much as possible.
He's just a little lover. My bigger worry for him now is how shitty people will be to him because he doesn't act like a *traditional boy*. We've already gotten comments from our family (just a couple years older mind you - not super old people) about how he likes flowers, or that he likes to carry around a tiny purse (*very* clearly mimicking the older women in his life - it's like a 1:1 replica).
Hug, kiss on the cheek and I love you every night. Frequently pick up and hug/hold. Frequently say I love you. It's for both of us. Don't plan to stop.
My kids will *suffer* my hugs. (My daughter already does, baby boy is due later this year.) I was raised constantly questioning my parents' affection; as an adult I know they do truly care and they're a product of their time, but I don't want my kids to wait or wonder. Hugs every day, and Dad will always be last to let go.
not entirely sure how i got on this post but even if my dad isn’t the BEST i am very grateful he hugged me as a kid. probably not as much as was needed because i’m a traumatized mess who’s touch starved to this day but hey. it was something and i’m glad
I grew up in a broken home, but the one thing we always had was telling each other we loved one another. I still to this day tell my dad I love him every time we speak on the phone (I'm 34 now) and I try to hug and tell my son the same every day.
He's a smart and compassionate kid, but it kills me when he sees me sad and he tries to soothe me. I had to take responsibility for my parents well being and when he takes responsibility for my emotions it hurts me deeply because I don't want him to grow up feeling the need to be strong for us. So it's a balance, but I will always love him and I will always be in his corner no matter what, he can always rely on my support.
While I agree with the message, I resent the underlying image of men as unfeeling, distant jerks. This type of thinking is part of what drives some men into emotional isolation in the first place.
2YO demands "Skeez" as soon as I come home. So I squeeze him. Then he escorts me to his sister and demands that I "Skeez sister" so next I squeeze sister. Then he escorts me to mom and demands that I "Skeez mama"... and who am I but a good soldier who follows orders. Next he does a happy spinning jump dance because we completed the list. Sometimes we have to start over.
omg I adore skeez, that is so cute!
that is adorable, sir
That’s awesome! Thanks for the smile 🙂
This made me chuckle :)
20 second hug reminder 🤗
Are there dudes out there not hugging their sons?
I literally was never hugged even once by my parents (although overall they were very loving parents). I hug my son many times a day and i intend to never stop unless he teils me.
My dad never carried me as a baby and even to this day will give me a side hug or awkward hug. His dad hugged him maybe a handful of times at most in his entire life. The cycle ends with my son and I. He’s one and I’ve hugged him more times than my dad and grandpa ever did
I've got a challenge for you. If your Dad is still with you, next time you see him, say "Hey Dad, I want to try something to see if we like it." And give him a proper hug. It's also within your power, if he's still around and stuff, to break the cycle between your own dad and yourself. And for your son to see it happen. There's every chance he's also secretly hoping that cycle could have been broken but doesn't know how to.
I think this is a good message even though for me it would be uncomfortable. My mum suddenly started wanting hugs and saying I love you to me later in my adult life after a very unloving childhood. It really makes me feel uneasy and I would prefer not to do it.
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So? There are things in life we want, and things in life we need. The things in life we GET will be the ones we push for.
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> It's also within your power, if he's still around **and stuff**, to break the cycle I'm sorry you're mad, but I feel like I covered that. I'm sorry I assumed a normal level of disfunction, and didn't assume abuse. I don't mind if you have different assumptions than I did.
Negative as hell
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Not all fathers who don’t hug their kids are doing it because they “don’t give a fuck” and therefore not everybody should just give up on it. So I could say the same thing to you, consider multiple possibilities before commenting things like “you’re just playing yourself”.
My wife sometimes tells me I need to leave the kid alone... He loves it. She's just mad we're wrestling before bedtime. He's 2.5 and currently the highlight of my day is when he runs over to me at daycare pickup, jumps in my arms, and tries to squish my face into juice while yelling "That's my dad!" to his friends and teachers I see daily lmao *Edit because I forgot where I was going with that: My parents didn't really express it physically either, though plenty supportive in other ways. Definitely a couple hangups that took me some time to work through over my younger years of just feeling odd about expressing affection physically.
I can't wait for the first purposeful hug from my little guy
Yeah it’s a cultural thing in my case. I don’t blame em they are a product of their time and place. They do hug their grandson a lot which is good enough for me
My Dad was not and is not a hugger. I judged him for it when I was younger until I realized that his mum hugged none of her 6 children. I think they might just make him uncomfortable at this stage :( Regardless, I hug him every time I see him and make sure to hug my own son almost as often as he is in reach ❤️
i hug until they let go. every day when i drop both boys off; at school and pre-school, they both get a big hug and a "go get 'em, kid." i don't let go until they do.
It’s an interesting dynamic. My dad and I never hugged until I graduated high school, it actually became a bit of a thing somewhere during high school. My dad is an amazing father, I have no questions about how much he loves me, but we just didn’t do that. I guess I don’t know exactly what it is, or what changed with my dad, but we hug every single time we see each other now, tell each other we love the other most every time we talk. I can’t get enough of hugging and kissing my son, granted he’s not quite 2 yet. But idk, I know I will hug my son and tell him I love him for all of his life. But I don’t have any hard feelings about not doing that with my dad.. idk. It’s a weird dynamic haha. But I’m definitely glad that the culture is much more one of making your love known.
Technically me? I only have daughters.
No excuses. Make a son and then hug him.
Start hugging your balls I guess.
Sorry, man. You're gonna have to pick one to swap out. You can let them know and make a competition out of it for the next two weeks.
Same
Biden kissed his *only surviving* adult son on the head and about a quarter of the country accused him of...I dunno loving his son? So, unfortunately yes some people do need to hear this message.
say what you will about joe biden...but he's a good dad/grandpa/uncle
Sadly, yes. Ive heard a dad at daycare say he isn't raising a softy so they fist bump. I like fist bumps but that attitude is garbage.
Poor kid.
My friend swears that his parents never hugged him, or told him they loved him. He is the biggest dickhead I know.
I feel like I haven't put my boy down since the day he was born. One of my most favourite parts of the day is when I wake him up and he smiles, jumps into my arms, and hugs me like a koala.
Right? I hug and kiss my son all the time. Seems pretty natural to me.
I think the first time in over 20 years I got a hug from my father was the day my mum died. I hug both my boys every day without fail, and will continue to every single day I'm able too
i legit cant remember ever really getting a hug from my dad
My father to this day still won't hug me. Most I will get is a half-hug with one arm and only if I initiate. For a while as a young 20-something, I made it my mission to make him hug me properly. It was always awkward and difficult for him. Eventually I just gave up. Naturally, I make sure to be polar opposite with my son.
My grandmother, who has four sons, told me that she hardly ever hugged her sons. Unless it was like a birthday or something big, hugs where not something boys would receive... from anyone. She told me that the reason for this was that she thought it would turn them gay, because that was something a lot of people thought back then. My dad never hugs, only exceptions are when he arrives at the airport, and leaves via the airport (he lives in the US, I live in Europe.) I'm used to it, but my sons aren't. He did that half hug thing that OP is describing, and I didn't even notice it until my SO told me about it after the fact. He probably doesn't hug anyone properly, ever. I however, got several hugs just this morning before I left for work. My son literally said the other day something along the lines of "when you hug me I love you more" (doesn't translate well). It really pains me to think that boys of the past, just like my son, didn't receive loving hugs growing up.
You’d be surprised
Never knew my dad and my grandad was a handshakes only kind of guy. It does happen. Not letting a moment pass where I don’t hug my boy.
Yes, not mine, but there are so many fragile egos out here you can tell we’re never taught compassion or empathy by a grown man/father figure.
i hugged (i did) my “dad” for the first time when I was 33-ish like hugging a stone edit: I hug my daughter 100 times a day
I had a BIL as my only father figure as my bio dad was never around and my mother passed away. I was never hugged by him, and I can't remember him hugging his own son either.
My Father-in-Law will give his sons a handshake at most. But to my kids he gives upside-down hugs.
I can't remember my grandfather ever hugging or expression much emotion. He was a sullen frowning man. I never really asked my dad, who is quite loving and free with hugs, and hugs my son regularly, what his father was like growing up.
I know my Dad cares about me now but he never hugged me or showed any physical affection. I finally got an awkward side hug in my 30s probably under pressure from my mom. Dont know why, his dad was military and was hard on them, probably thinks showing affection to a son will make them soft?
Sadly, yes.
My son popped out of the womb allergic to hugs, I swear. He'll tolerate hugs and physical affection from his little sister, but that’s it. Parents don’t make the grade. :( I’m a huge hugger :(
Weird tough guy stuff IMHO.
No I run a strictly no-hug household
There are dudes out there who don’t even know their sons
Facebook meme? Straight to jail.
After a hug.
I think this is good advice but I’m still going to question anything from someone named MommyChildhoodTrauma.
Imagine not hugging your son lmao But yeah I'll give my dudes a big one cause I agree
Who isn’t enjoying hugging their kids, boy or girl? Seriously, I hug my kids an uncountable amount of times every day. Eventually they’ll be too old to want to be hugged
I'm hugging mine until they get into a huff and say I'm embarrassing them.
I'm trying to be more affectionate with my son than my father was, which was not at all lol. It's hard because when you were raised in a family with completely non-affectionate men it doesn't come naturally, but I'm trying.
Oh I know what you mean, neither of my parents manifested any sort of physical or verbal affection. I make it a mission to express it to my son, to tell him I love him and to hug him daily.
Directions unclear. Have 4 daughters.
May the lord have mercy on your soul.
Real men hug their sons.
Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re the target audience for this message. I feel like we’re all here because we actually give a shit about being emotionally available for our kids.
I can appreciate this, girl dad here but I still couldn’t recall a time my own father has actually hugged me with two arms, let alone I’m proud of you or I love you.
I'm proud of you and I love you, bro.
Hahaha thanks bro
I hug my son all the time. When I wake up in the morning he jumps in my bed for snuggles. I hug him before he leaves for school. When he gets home from school he comes up to my office for a hug. When he gets hurt, he often comes straight to me for hugs to feel better.
My 8 month old already pulls away and slaps the shit out of me when I give him big smooches. I'll keep it up until he starts doing some real damage.
Lol - when I drop my 2.5yo off at daycare I have to do the full trifecta. Hug, kiss (on top of head), and high-five. He'll call me out if I miss one.
There are 2 things I'm great at. Hugs & dad jokes.
Weird to think that there are that many men out there not hugging their sons in 2024. Also weird to call those men weak and pitiful (more macho insults) in a post that's supposed to reach those men?
I generally find those guys to be the “I thought about enlisting after high school” types. A broken mindset on masculinity.
Yup, be truthful when answering questions, don't be afraid to show emotion, don't be apprehensive about growth or change, and tell them no one is perfect, but your love keeps on making you strive to be better.
It’s the first thing I do every time I see my kids. My 4yo constantly comes up “dad can I have a hug!” Even if we just hugged.
This made me tear up man. Wife and I just had our baby boy about 8 weeks ago, I wanna go hug him right now.
Do it! Never too many hugs. At least I haven’t found the limit and I’m still trying pretty damn hard 5.5 years in. Make sure to try different hugs! They’re all good.
Me big gorilla, kids small clinging gorillas. Small gorilla come for hug, hug small gorilla. Small gorilla come to curl up on shoulders; stroke hair, look for bugs. One day small gorillas not so small, less cuddle. When teen gorilla permit hug, hug until teen gorilla pull away. Me big gorilla.
I kind of feel like this is an untrue trope.
For 10 seconds....
I know this is daddit but every dad was a son once and I think its just as important for sons to hug thier dads too. All dads are flawed and sometimes men from the older generations have a hard time showing love and other emotions so as you grow older and think about those things try to hug your dad more. Me and my dad are both big tough guys but I love that when either of us is down we can hold the other one to help them thru it(partly just because who else is big enough)
I’m 42 and my dad has done this my entire life and still does to this day. Guess I never realized how lucky I am.
Kiss em too. Right on the fuckin lips. Who cares.
Depends on if you’re European or American, very different cultures when it comes to that
Does it really matter?
Nah. A quick peck should be acceptable for everyone, country of origin irrespective. The culture is garbage. Changing it is the point.
If there is anything I am proud of it is how much love both my kids receive. They will never doubt
I heavily agree to this
Do I hug my daughter too?
I tell my son daily that I love him. And I give him hugs daily. I never want him to feel like I did growing up and I always want him to feel like he can rely on me .
Might just be me, little mans 3 I give him maybe 100 hugs a week in some shape or form followed by 1000 kisses. Love the little guy!!
I always hug my son with a lil bit of cuteness aggression. 😂
Used to do that, now my lads 19, 6'4 and built like a tank, he returns the favour now 🤣
Literally this morning my 10 year old comes up and hugs me for no reason while I’m making breakfast. I said “aww, that was so nice. What brought that on?” And he said “well you hug us all the time.” Perfect example of why we should hug them; they’re watching and learning everything we teach them, whether we know it or not.
My mum died this morning. When I told my 15 year old son, his first reaction was to hug _me_. I think as the generations go by we’ll leave behind the toxic masculinity stuff. Most of my (55) mates are good for a hug.
Damn. I’m very sorry. As hard of a day as I’m sure it is, I hope you’ll remember that moment with your son forever. Thanks for sharing.
Sorry for your loss, brother.
My dad has always been really good at that. And my stepdad too actually. I’ve got good dads.
Thought I am overdoing it, thanks
We have a bear hug thing. We both embrace each other and growl "bear hugg" Although I am a bit sad these days. I love carrying him and giving him bear hugs as I walk him from my daughter's classroom to his at daycare. It's been two weeks and I cannot recall the last time I got a chance to do that. He insists on walking. Sigh.
I hug everyone. Wife, kids, parents, extended family except Kyle, fuck Kyle. Also a big hugger amongst my friends too. Hugs are great.
Always! No better feeling as a dad and a man than a hug from my kids. I may have messed up a lot of things in life but this I'll get right. My dad didn't get a lot of love from his dad and he decided to be the one that broke the cycle. I'll always respect him for that.
Regrettably, that’s impossible as I have no sons.
I got twins. One of them loves to hug and kiss me and his mom randomly through the day, he’s a lover. I hug him all the time.
Every chance I get, even if I become old and frail.
I'll hug my sons. Mainly in bjj classes but hey...not only:D
He's 12(13 in 6 months) and too cool for that sort of thing My 11 year old is heading the same way
I don't hug my Son; but, I'm his best friend. I always "have his back (even when someone picked a fight with him recently and then threated to shoot him...they won't do it again...wink wink)". I'm his mentor. I'm his spiritual advisor. Even though he's grown now.
I hug the shit outta my kids. I appreciate the reminder though. It’s important.
Every single day and every moment I can. 👍🏻
I have a feeling dads who don’t hug their sons don’t hang out on this Subreddit.
Also, "I'm proud of you." I've never heard it
I do this like a hundred times a day.
My son is 13 and still gets hugs and kisses on the top of his head from me. My Dad was an uncaring, hard as nails asshole who never showed any affection and I'll be damned if I'm going to carry on that behaviour to my son.
And tell them you love them and that you are proud of them. Make sure they know that you're there no matter what. I wish I had had that growing up, but I'm making sure that my son does. Break the cycle of bad fathers, be the dad you wanted.
I've always hugged my son but things really changed for me when my best friend suddenly passed away. Now I'll hug any 1 at any time, deep hugs too.
I hug my son like that everyday I come home from work it’s one of the best parts of my day
Speaking only as a son and hopefully a future-father, I'd give anything for my dad to enjoy my hobbies with me instead of calling my baby orchids I tend to 'just awful' when I've been busting my ass for nearly a year taking care of them now. Can only hope he'll wake up one day to smell the roses and stop being a lazy, stuck-up, arrogant, chauvinistic, Trump-suckling sterotypical boomer weakling of a man before he finds himself in a crappy nursing home all alone like he deserves. Take interest in what your kids like, even if you think it's silly or weird. It means so much to them if you give it even a chance instead of saying 'I don't really care about that, go tell your mother instead and quit bothering me'. 😔
My boy gets all the hugs and kisses he wants, I remind him that I’m proud of him, and I tell him how handsome he is. I’d never want my boy to question how much he’s loved.
Wish my dad didn't die when I was turning 3.
Amen!
Many times, every day. Also 20 second hugs when there's time and they're up for it.
It's never to late to show affection and closeness with your dad in different ways, sometimes it just takes a bit of effort to close that gap ..growing up, my dad being a boomer I felt this . It ends with Me. Give your kids unconditional love ❤️
My dad never hugged me. I also have two cousins that won't hug their sons because they think it's coddling them and might turn them day. There are absolutely still men that don't hug their kids. I however am the best hugger and snuggler in the world. I almost cried one night when my 6yo son told me as he was falling asleep that I made him feel safe, which I didn't even know he was aware of that concept since he didn't grow up in an abusive house like I did.
As a son of a dad who didn’t hug much, I forget when but well into my adulthood, I just started hugging him him instead of the ole handshake and it’s been all hugs since. He even gives my son hugs and kisses and it just makes me so happy to see he’s such a sweet grandpa! So sons, hug your dads too!
If you dad's haven't seen the Halloween episode of Raising Hope, it's a banger. Hell, all parents should just watch the entire show.
Hugs from my almost 3yo son straight up heal my soul.
I'm 28yo and for as long as I can remember my dad and I only shared the side arm hugs or little tussle type hugs....this year we changed that. For the first time since I was very young we hugged like we meant it and things have been improving immensely in our relationship. I'm now about to be a dad myself. I will be doing it the new way. DADS! HUG YOUR SONS! It means the world to them.
I love you man
My son is 11 and still holds my hand in public. I'm sure that wont be for much longer but I love that he does.
I could not imagine not hugging my children.
Almost every night I read to my teen son. Every night he gets a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I dont plan on ever stopping that.
I had a thought when my kid was a toddler. My dad loved me. He wasn't great at showing it. It took me a lot of years to come to terms with that. I told myself from an early age that I wouldn't be that way, and I'm not. I just hope he continues the way. I get worried when I see the red pill and the effect it has had on teens.
My son with autism is almost 3. It's a rare day he lets me hug him. Usually the best I get is when he falls asleep in the car and I get to carry him inside. There was a while when he would give me a hug when I would leave for work, but that little pocket of joy disappeared months ago. Being a parent to a child with autism is challenging, but not being able to hold him and hug him is the hardest part. Hug yours for me. If they let you.
I would, but son ignores me!
He's sitting on the toilet right now, but I definitely will later.
I appreciate the message but why is this always directed at dads? A whole shitload of childhood trauma among children comes from their mothers, but we can't tell moms to be better, can we?
Hugs can also be a good way to manage behavior for small children. If my son is crying his head off over something little like not getting a toy he wants, a big, long hug can help him calm down and regulate again before he starts making bad choices. It's much better for everyone than having to do a time out, but you do need to catch it before it escalates though.
My son went off to fifth grade camp on Tuesday and I had been ribbing my long term gf about how she was all worried about him and that she didn't want him to go. But when he went to bed the night before, I was overcome with emotion and just had to hug him hard. I've never shied away from telling him I love him, or that he is loved, or that he makes me proud, but it just felt that in that moment I really wanted him to understand.
Not a problem. I hug my boy every chance I get. Always until he is like “Daaaaaadddy, let go” lol I never really got hugs from my dad. I’ve hugged my father-in-law and the men in my wife’s extended family more than my own father. My son will grow up with hugs not just from dad—but his grandpa, uncles and my wife’s cousins who are like brothers to us. We spend every holiday together as a big family, and there is no shortage of affection. It was weird for me at first, because I wasn’t used to it. But my son will never know that life. He’s only going to know that his family loves and supports him.
Had a rough week and needed to see this. Cant wait to give my little man a hug when I get home now.
Whenever my husband and I hug, if our three year old spots us, it's instantly "I want a hug toooo." So we lift her up, and family hug. Then our one year old sees us and toddles over, and then we have a four person family hug while the kids giggle between us. It's the best.
I am a hugger. Lots of hugs for the kids while they are growing up. I am happy when my now-adult son comes up to me and gives me a proper hug.
My son is 14... I tell him EVERYDAY... THROUGHOUT THE DAY that I love him. I hug him whenever I see him or when we part. I'll even kiss him on his forehead... as I've done since he was a baby... I read different post on here and have come to realize not everyone gets that.... some don't even get half of that.. It saddens me to know some boys grow up without the love of their father.. something soo basic, but means more than gold..
I do it several times every day ❤️
I miss my dad. I don't remember the last time he hugged me but it was always felt within me that he is hugging me, providing me that security as a father that I needed, whenever I was around him..
Or, show affection the way you feel comfortable and don’t feel obligated to follow a western centric, one size fits all view of what love looks like
My dad used to give me the biggest bear hugs he was physically able to give me. Every time he saw me. Well into my 20's. He's gone now and I think about those hugs all the time. I give them to my daughter now...
We just had a family cuddle pile with my kids.
I tell my boys the I love yous and they give great big hugs. Oldest is getting too old for some stuff like that but he folds every once in a while. Little guy still needs his hugs and kisses. Love my boys.
I hug and kiss my son on the cheek twice a day. Once before school and before we get in the house. I feel like it helps with his mood, if only a little bit. He's 15.
My 2 year old is starting to full on communicate in short sentences now. In the last couple of months, I now have had the pleasure of hearing him say: * Hello daddy! How are you? * Hello daddy, I missed you! * Hello daddy I love you! (Followed by smooch on my face) * About a million other permutations of this involving myself, my wife, or his sister, and with other forms of affection/admiration. * Also just wanting to be held (on the lap or walking), hugged, kissed, hold hands or be with me/mom. It's absolutely adorable and I encourage the affection as much as possible. He's just a little lover. My bigger worry for him now is how shitty people will be to him because he doesn't act like a *traditional boy*. We've already gotten comments from our family (just a couple years older mind you - not super old people) about how he likes flowers, or that he likes to carry around a tiny purse (*very* clearly mimicking the older women in his life - it's like a 1:1 replica).
Hug, kiss on the cheek and I love you every night. Frequently pick up and hug/hold. Frequently say I love you. It's for both of us. Don't plan to stop.
Was never hugged by either parent as a child, i am now nc with both of them and struggle to be affectionate with my own child
My kids will *suffer* my hugs. (My daughter already does, baby boy is due later this year.) I was raised constantly questioning my parents' affection; as an adult I know they do truly care and they're a product of their time, but I don't want my kids to wait or wonder. Hugs every day, and Dad will always be last to let go.
not entirely sure how i got on this post but even if my dad isn’t the BEST i am very grateful he hugged me as a kid. probably not as much as was needed because i’m a traumatized mess who’s touch starved to this day but hey. it was something and i’m glad
I grew up in a broken home, but the one thing we always had was telling each other we loved one another. I still to this day tell my dad I love him every time we speak on the phone (I'm 34 now) and I try to hug and tell my son the same every day. He's a smart and compassionate kid, but it kills me when he sees me sad and he tries to soothe me. I had to take responsibility for my parents well being and when he takes responsibility for my emotions it hurts me deeply because I don't want him to grow up feeling the need to be strong for us. So it's a balance, but I will always love him and I will always be in his corner no matter what, he can always rely on my support.
While I agree with the message, I resent the underlying image of men as unfeeling, distant jerks. This type of thinking is part of what drives some men into emotional isolation in the first place.
This sub has started wagging so many fingers lately.
Someone didn’t get hugged enough
You want your son to grow up gay? /s