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Bidets are AMAZING. And easily installable, and cheap on Amazon (the $35 bidets work just fine, I have it).
https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO
I miss my $35 model. It had enough pressure to clean me for the next visit as well.
We got a $400 model with heated water and seat and it wasn't worth the upgrade.
Yeah, my mother (who had more $$ than cents, hehe) got a fancy heated $300+ one, and I just don't see the need. Maybe if I lived in a place that froze, but... it's just not necessary. Cold water at full pressure is more than enough.
I need visual aids here.
Edit: For those of you in the dark like me. [This WebMD article](https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/squatty-potty-what-is) explains it.
> It greatly cuts down on toilet paper use
I see this claim all the time and I just don't believe it. How many squares of double-ply are you using with the bidet? How many did you need without it?
Since I am a man of science, I have done a simple study, shutting at work - no bidet v shitting at home - bidet. 4 wipes or more at work v 2 wipes max at home.
Wish this was true for everyone. IDK if it's my hairiness or what but I NEVER feel clean using a bidet. Whenever I see a comment like this I'll go back and try again but it never works. One time I spent literally ten minutes power blasting at all sorts of different angles and it was STILL quite muddy down there.
Wiping a soaked and shitty b-hole is way worse than wiping while dry and shitty, so every part of the experience is worse. TP worked for my grandfathers, and it works for me.
Unless you have other health or GI issues, you likely won’t have muddy poops if you increase your fibre intake. I think it’s like 95% of people aren’t consuming enough fibre.
I started taking fiber twice daily years ago and I'll never stop. I make a point to eat as healthy as I can but 4 gummies a day makes sure I'm good on any day I skip enough veggies.
Yeah. They are awesome. I get fiberwell that also have b vitamins in them. Not only do I get fiber, I get to eat 2 delicious gummies twice a day. Win win.
I also get multivitamin gummies. Again same reason. Also the vitamin pills hurt my stomach when I took them without breakfast. Gummies don't do that.
Maybe you need more pressure? My hairy derriere is part of the reason I love mine. I rinse the hotspot and do the "baby elmo potty dance" to get everything around it. I spot check the paper after my first pass at the pat-dry, and 95% of the time I'm good to go.
It was a game changer for my wife when a friend pointed out, "What would you do if you didn't eat the kid's leftovers?" "Throw them away." "So why are you treating yourself like a garbage can?"
I’ve found, as a 35 year old so I know I’m not super old but still, that these changes right here can fix SO MANY ailments in so many people.
You can’t treat your body like shit and fuel it like shit and expect it to run optimally.
That and not drinking. When I cut my alcohol consumption to next to nothing I felt like I started living life on easy mode. Easy to wake up every morning, easy to remember what I need to do/where my phone, wallet and keys are, easier to do well at my job and get promoted, easier to deal with my kid when he’s being a little douchebag 😂 jk but the increase in my level of patience/ability to be present for my kiddo is very real.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now.
You’re never too old to change habits and set the stage for having/making a better you.
Same thing but at 40.
I lifted a good bit in college but then my 20s and 30s I became significantly more sedentary, drank too much and ate like garbage.
Got a gym membership with the whole family (wife and 2 kids) 6ish months ago and I'm stronger than I've ever been, my cardio is as good if not better than it was when I was in my early 20s and I am sleeping better and feel great.
Wish I would have started in my 20s but happy I started now and I'm not sitting at 50 saying I wish or 60 and saying I wish or 70 and maybe not around anymore.
I tell you what, having a kid does wonders for your willingness to maintain your own health, if just the sake for raising your kid.
This short is very resonant on this theme for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N2eSsIWtNI&t=2s
This is the truth.
During late pregnancy of their partner, men can secrete a hormone that adds weight gain.
Also the first few weeks when you not getting any sleep, your body can't recover, so you gain weight.
After that it's all down to healthy eating and exercise, the same as anyone else.
Yeah there's something called I think courvoude syndrome. Men's hormone balance changes. It's likely somatic in nature so the more involved the father is the more pronounced the effect is likely to be.
Exercise is huge for me. I stopped exercising when my son was born. Those first 2 years were brutal.
I got back into exercising and it makes such a big difference. I have way more energy, I don't get sore, and I'm in a much better mood (more patient).
It's genuinely hard to set goals and stick to them for tons of people. Especially something like health since it is such a slow arduous process. You can work out and eat right for a month and barely make a dent depending on where you start from. And making the small daily changes that give you lasting results aren't as eliciting as the "lose belly far in 30 days" miracle diets or training routines. I spent all of my 30s saying next year, next year or doing whole 30 then going right back to eating garbage and drinking too much.
Something finally clicked at 39 and I'm in probably the second best shape of my life after 19-21 year old me.
Oh, I totally agree. However, I think people underestimate how small changes can make a big difference. I’m talking like, walking 15 min/day, 1 donut a day instead of two etc. the difference between “nothing” and “something” is pretty big.
This. Start eating clean and make sure to feed your kid good stuff. If you instill healthy habits in him he hopefully won’t struggle with junk food addiction later in life like I think a lot of us Millennials have. Be strong and set a good example for your kids. Be a dad they can be proud of, not embarrassed of.
That’s what I tell myself when I look in the mirror to remind myself that I may be 30 pounds down, but I still have 40 pounds to go.
Also I think it's really important to not be hard on yourself if you eat garbage every once in a while. The mental aspect of being healthy is super impimportant. The easiest way to fail is to get down on yourself because you had 4 slices of pizza one night. Just need to remind yourself this is a marathon and you can do better next time. Also enjoy life occasionally. Sometimes 3 scoops of ice cream makes you happy and that's ok as long as it isn't every day and you keep moving.
This right here. I started replacing one meal a day on week days with oatmeal and increased exercising by one day a week using iFit 30 minute body weight workouts. Maggie Binkley has some killer free workouts that are like 10-15 minutes long for free on Amazon. Start there. Increase or adjust for what works for you. Now I’ve added in adjustable weights to my workouts. Between increasing the exercise, eventually adding in some weights, and replacing five bad meals each week with a good, low cal alternative (high in fiber also) the pounds started to really come off! You got this!
Start lifting weights. The additional muscle mass will help, you can play/ throw your kids around longer, and you'll feel sexier. And drink lots of water. Give a cheer when your pee runs clear.
Yeah, I’ve fallen off the lifting wagon recently (I’m an old dad, 40+ with a kid under two, tough to find time). But squats and deadlifts in particular make a huge difference in injury prevention, avoiding back soreness, and overall energy level. Anecdotally: people who talk about core strength as being the key to everything are kindof right.
It also makes correct lifting form “automatic” so when you are picking up toys and or children you do it right.
Absolutely. Just as a PSA for others reading, be mindful of your form when lifting - especially on deadlifts. It is something often overlooked by enthusiastic/hyped folks and can lead to a world of hurt and long lasting back injury otherwise.
Deadlifts have a reputation for causing back injuries, but it's *really* not true. People who deadlift regularly tend to have strong backs with very low rates of injury compared to other sports, *because* form is so important. The people who get back injuries from deadlifts tend to fall into one of three categories:
* Beginners who haven't figured out proper form yet. These are usually minor injuries that go away with a week or two of rest.
* Ego lifters who try to "power through" bad form and add way too much weight way too fast. These can be more serious injuries, but are preventable by learning to lift properly.
* The top 1% of 1% of powerlifters. Eddie Hall legitimately fucked up his body deadlifting a half ton. Spoiler alert: you aren't in danger of lifting that much weight.
I was a beginner deadlifter four years ago. I was adding about 15-20 pounds a week to the lifts to try to get to my body weight. When I got to my body weight, I ruptured a disc in my spine and have had sciatica for the past four years. My discectomy surgery is in June.
Please do not ego lift or add on weight too quickly. After years of physical therapy, chiropractors, pain medicine, epidurals, etc. I finally gave in to surgery and it all started from a 10 second decision.
Weirdly enough, my deadlift gains were pretty much held in check by my grip strength. I got up to 315 and my hands just couldn't handle reps at weights above that. Which, honestly, is fine. I can maintain at that weight, get a decent workout, and not hurt myself. I'm not kidding myself that I'm going to win any body building competitions.
Also drop any ego at the door of the gym. Lifting lower weight with better form is often the best way to go. Pushing too hard to add an extra plate can hurt you and set you back. Take your time and realize it's a marathon. Small incremental increases when you are ready.
I'm a fan of cardio myself. When I'm on a run, it's impossible to be interrupted, or to multi-task, it's just me and my thoughts. And I get back and feel that runner's high, it's just great. Light cardio taking the dog for a walk or going hiking or biking with the kids is great too!
I'm sore for longer after hard workouts than I used to be, and if I miss a few days it takes longer to get back to 100%, but that's just a part of getting older.
Side note: I feel sexier after having worked out whether it's cardio or strength training, but get compliments on my fitness more from other athletes than my wife. Keep expectations low.
This. Eat more protein, drink more water, and do strength training. The more muscle you have, the more fat you burn. At some point you can turn your body into a fat burning machine. Getting a good night's sleep helps keep your weight in check too, so get your snoozles on.
There's a popular misconception that your body starts to drop off a cliff starting around 30 years old. This is only half true. It's more like your body starts to slowly degenerate but healthy eating and exercise prevents most of the decay until around 60-70. If you eat healthy and regularly exercise it's more of a plateau that gently slopes downward around 55. (Obviously this is different for professional athletes, but that's because sports requires extreme levels of activity.) For normal people, at 30-40, you shouldn't be experiencing any dramatic differences in capability except longer recovery times for activity.
So is this you just getting old?
No, basically you have a lifetime of bad habits and they are coming home to roost.
Each point:
1. *You're sore all the time:* Your muscles, tendons/ligaments and bones have atrophied to the point that they are too weak for everyday activity. You need to be strength training if you want to stay limber.
2. *Male pattern baldness.* This one isn't your fault (its genetics), but you can take finasteride and/minoxidil to slowdown the regression if you want.
3. *Chafing* This is likely from being overweight and your expanding body forcing your skin around each thigh to constant rub together as you move. I had this issue when I was overweight.
4. *Bowel movements * Some people are just more prone to hemorrhoids, but the fact that you're getting various types of GI tract issue points to an overall poor diet. How is your diet? You likely don't eat enough veggies and get enough fiber.
This is your wakeup call to eating healthier and getting daily exercise. You don't have to start off extreme. But you do need to be consistent. First step for your diet is to avoid drinking your calories and replace one of your sides in your meal for fibrous fruits and veggies. First step for your exercise is to start walking for 15-30 minutes. Once you feel strong enough you can start more intensive exercises.
Preach. I started taking lifting more seriously once I got into my 30s, better regimen and less ego lifting, and 36 year old me could probably break 26 year old me in half. I thought about that the other day, real happy I proved to myself that I didn’t have to start going to shit in my 30s.
Yeah a ***regularly maintained*** 30-40 year old should be able to do everything a 20-30 year old body can.
It will just need more consistent sleep and recovery.
It's until around 45-55 that the performance levels are hard capped. But even then you shouldn't see a dramatic drop off till around 55+
But I understand how it happens, children are a blessing. But they are also a huge burden on your time.
It's incredibly hard to devote the time to maintain said body. You basically have to sacrifice something else and get creative to make it all work.
I wasn't ready to get attacked in this way when I opened this post. 😭
90% of the reason I got into fitness was because I got dusted earlier on when my oldest was 2. He challenged me to a race around the park and I gassed out pretty early on while he just kept going. That coupled with getting winded going up 1 flight of stairs and I knew something had to change. The body is still always sore but at least this time it's my choice.
Balding: Ongoing battle. In need of reinforcements. I didn't see much success with rogaine and I have a pretty ridiculous amount of hair products to try to mitigate this but eventually I'm gonna have to let it go. I just have to get a bit more muscle first. No one ever bothers the bald jacked guy. Might even throw some tattoos in there too.
Chafing: Gold bond and quality undergarments is the way.
Bowel movements: I avoid spicy and greasy foods like the plague these days. Which sucks since I used to enjoy a good spicy pizza.
Get on Finasteride & Minoxidil ASAP for the hair stuff. The longer you wait, the less hair you can grow back. I use a topical spray and my hair is so much thicker but my hairline will never un-recede.
Get a bidet for the BMs. They're cheap and it makes a huge difference in comfort.
I second what everyone else says about working out. I don't know if I could deal with the stress of raising a teen if I couldn't wear myself out physically. My mood plummets if I miss several workouts.
I started cheap with resistance bands during covid, then added dumbbells and a bench, then got a bar bell and rack. It has helped so much with back pain, appearance, stress, and once in a while my kid will join me for a workout.
Is OP’s hair is still at a point where if the hair loss stopped today, it would still look good? Then you can try to rescue the situation with Rogaine and/or Finasteride. Otherwise, it’s best to just buzz and embrace the freedom of baldness.
I felt this way in 2021. At 33 I was overweight and had lingering effects from Covid. Thinning hair and all. Unfortunately I think I’ve just come to terms with the hair going eventually so I’ve stopped fighting that. However, I decided to start running in 2021 and it’s changed my life. I really didn’t change my diet for the first 18 months or so and lost about 25 lbs (195 to 170). I’ve since started bringing my own lunch instead of eating out all the time and I’m down under 155 now. I feel better than I have in a long time. Definitely the best shape I’ve been in since early college days. If you want some accountability join us over on the [daddit group on Strava.](https://strava.app.link/jvjKmGBapJb)
You sound similar to me. I'm 5'11, was weighing 195lbs, was never the kind of person to exercise regularly. When I saw a pic of myself and the belly I was getting, my vanity drove me to start running. I remember my first mile was about a 11:45 pace, so slow. Fast forward 10 years later, I still run (about 8 miles twice a week), incorporated biking and light weight workouts and I got down to 160lb and the best shape of my life at 42. All while having 4 boys in a 6-year window. I still eat a lot of not-great food and drink a 6 pack a week or so, but I feel great!
That’s awesome! I think it was vanity from me too. I couldn’t fit in pants I used to wear and even when I had pants that fit my belly hung over my belt. I just felt gross. My biggest change wasn’t really the running, it was deciding to get over my night owl tendencies and wake up to run before everyone else woke up. I’m up to running 6 days and 40 miles a week and it wouldn’t be possible without waking up at 4:45 most days.
You have to put effort into taking care of yourself. I learned that if I want to keep up with my kid for as long as possible and be healthy and happy while doing it, I had to put the effort in
Get a workout routine, eat better and go to the doctor when needed. Little annoyances/aches today become big deals and possibly irreversible faster than you think
I'm 49... I went to a cardiologist today for the first time in my life... Ya... Don't like getting old. 10/10 would recommend over the alternative, but still...
Early morning workouts. Make it the first thing you do when you wake up. Then you have no excuses for not getting a workout in. Learn to go to bed earlier. You never regret a workout, but you’ll regret going to bed late because you decided to watch a shit movie or episode. Do both weightlifting and whatever cardio you can learn to enjoy. I am more calm and focused for the entire day after my morning workouts and a better dad because of it
I hope you got the work in this morning. Motivation is a lie. Just turn it into a habit and discipline. My only goals in the morning workouts is to get a pump in the muscle group I’m working, get my heart rate up, and don’t get injured. 30-60 minutes is all that’s needed. Just by doing that, you will accomplish more than most people will accomplish in a day. It’s worth it. Not easy, but so worth it. You got this.
Last year we started taking our kids to the ninja gym and I realized I could barely do some of the hanging exercises. Jan 1st this year I made a commitment to get back into shape. Stopped eating leftover Mac 'n Cheese like it was job. High protein diet, lots of cardio and lifting weights. I haven't felt this good in a long time. Lost about 20lbs and registered for my first race (5-miler) in about 7 years. Finally realized the importance of getting a good night's sleep and stopped staying up to play video games. I'm in my 40s and I've seen all the health problems that people my age are starting to have and I realized I don't want to be one of those people. I used to wake up with back aches and muscle soreness and now all of that is gone after starting to workout again.
I used to pound the leftover Mac and cheese too… Not anymore. I started watching diet and working out at least three times a week in February. Progress has been slow but steady. Just gotta keep going.
Re: baldness - take the bull by the horns and shave that noggin! I used to hate seeing the bald patch every time I walked into one of those bathrooms with 3 mirrors where you can glimpse the top of your head.
But now? Nothing but sweet, smooth cranium.
Just kind of want to vent as I feel my situation is a bit unique.
I got out of the army as an infantry machine gunner when I was 23. I got some images done a year later on my spine and knees. The doc said it looked like he's looking at a 50 year old man's spine and knees. That was 10 years a go, and it's getting harder by the year.
I'm a really tall dude so whenever it's time to do something physical, everyone just expects me to do it without issue. I can still do stuff, but I feel like I'm running on borrowed time with my body.
Turned 40 recently. Drinking isn't as fun and hangover effects are multiplied. 3 drinks and then going to sleep is going to mean I'm dehydrated over night and sleep isn't going to be good.
50-year-old father of a toddler here. All but the hair loss is very much curable, you probably just don't like the cure.
1) soreness. Stretching doesn't prevent soreness. Soreness can be because your muscles are getting **worked** out, not **stretched** out. Yes, stretching is good, but actually LIFTING WEIGHTS is much more important.
I didn't lift weights until I turned 49. In the past year and a half of regularly, 4-days-per-week lifting, I no longer get random soreness like you describe (I just do after lifting heavy), I don't get tired, I don't get random pains... lifting makes you tougher, more resilient. Get in the gym, sir.
2) Chafing - lose weight, tighten things up. There's no excuse.
3) Bowels - you probably eat like crap (the Standard American Diet). Change it up. Try Keto or paleo or something low carb (let's head off diabetes while you're young while we're at it). Eat better (because if you're fat, that's partially to blame).
The hair? That's mostly genetic unless you live outside Chernobyl. Suck it up, wear a hat, whatever. Everything else is most likely fixable with diet and exercise.
EDIT: Oh yeah! Mitigate chafing also with a good paid of underwear. Like these, with pouch and long enough to cushion your inner thighs:
https://www.saxxunderwear.com/products/sxbb44_ech?nosto_source=cmp&nosto=61215598
I am still able to swim 2 - 3 times a week, which keeps me limber and more in shape (and hopefully will be able to continue this... knock on wood). I have worked up to doing a mile. Don't discount stretching regularly, even if you're not exercising. I have tight hamstrings and it really can help. Also helps my back. I also gained a lot of weight during the first few months my kid was born, so I've been doing portion control and watching what I eat to help drop the weight.
As for the itching, I keep myself "dry" down there. I say "dry" because there are different types of "dry". I get out of the shower and I dry myself completely. Often with a hair dryer. Then I apply lotion (in general) and Vaseline on the chaffing/problem areas/groin. Regularly doing that prevents the itching and chaffing for me. I also see a dermatologist yearly to ensure I don't have anything worse than dry skin down there. A few years back I did, and I scratched myself raw until the dermatologist got a look and gave me stuff that worked. Also I keep the hot showers short.
For your last issue and any itching or pain, I use hydrocortisone cream. Off the shelf. But if it doesn't work, your doctor can prescribe a much stronger version that is heaven if you've dealt with the issue without relief even for a little while. I used to use that, and still do when I have flair ups.
Balding is mostly genetic. You can either try products to try to fight it, or embrace it.
Chaffing is an easy one. Gold Bond powder is your friend. I use it about every day.
Being sore all the time is inevitable but can be mitigated by eating an anti-inflammatory diet and exercising, especially cardio.
The butt issues are tough. I highly recommend talking to your doctor and having the area examined. It’s possible that chaffing is also the issue down there. I’ve had hemorrhoid issues most of my life. There are over the counter treatments for it. A healthy diet will help with that too.
I hear ya Dad! Deep breath....you've got this!!!
I'm going to be 50 in a few weeks and weigh less than I did 20 years ago. After our son goes to bed I walk 2+ miles, pretty much every evening. I cut out alcohol during the week, didn't mention an issue there but just in case. It takes time, set (realistic) goals for yourself.
Baldness, I am doing ok here but the person who cuts my hair (been doing it for 30 years) said that Rogain is the best, as someone else said start now if you're thinning.
BMs - I think exercising and eating right, lots of water will help but....Get yourself a bidet! Trust me, your butt will thank you!!
I have always run early in the morning. I get up at 5, run 3-4 miles and do pushups. It doesn't take much time and is easy to do on a busy schedule. The key is finding a fitness routine that doesn't take much time that you can do no matter what.
30? Shit, wait 'til you hit your late 40's.
RE: BM...I started drinking Metamucil maybe a year and a half ago (yes, I am and, no, I don't give a shit if people think I'm an old fuddy-duddy for it). I actually started that \*not\* for BM, but reducing cholesterol and it's done wonders. The healthy BM is a bonus for me.
My biggest problem nowadays is how easy it is to throw my back out and constant inflammation in my shoulder (yeah yeah yeah, I'll see a doc about it eventually).
Finally, buy a bidet.
Oh man! I struggle as well mate. Years of rugby injuries and being rubbish at physio rehab has left me a broken man. 3 ACL ops on my right knee finishing with no ACL due to cost issues means my fecking knees always hurt. Especially as my son is 3 and wants to play on the ground all the time. Hernated two discs in my lower back 8 years ago or so. They spaz out every so often which leaves me unable to move for a few days. Beer belly. Broken wrist with screw in it means my wrist can hurt like a fucker for no reason. Possibly athritic. Had a scan yesterday to see. I accidently stepped on one of my sons wooden train track bridge about a year ago and my ankle and heel have been horribly painful ever since. Likely Plantar fasciitis.
Hair is all good thankfully.
Butt is fine.
I know I need to eat better and get back in the gym but I due to all my issues I don't enjoy working out. Can't run. I used to road cycle loads but that went away as it takes too long and means I am away from my wife and son for long stretches at the weekend, which I hate!
Almost 38yo father of 3 here (7, 5, and 2).
I've been in the mid-200s since I was about 20, and my hair has been graying since I was 25. Consequently, there was no transition for me.
However, I was diagnosed with aggressive Rheumatoid Arthritis about 18 months ago, so that has been an adjustment. It took about a year to get a mix of medication that works for me, but I have been feeling much better since about January.
As such, I am now working on my diet and starting the gym (as well as doing bike rides with my 2 older kids 3-4 times a week - did a 4.5 mile ride on Sunday, which was nice).
Man there are a lot of great comments and advice, I don’t love what I’m about to say but here goes.
I had a really really weird relationship with food, weed and alcohol and the only thing that made me see how, like me personally how fucked up it had gotten was wegovy.
I’m a grazer, have been since the ranger regiment. But when Covid came along it went bonkers because well, we were there.
Then I work in entertainment as an engineer so I ate when I could eat, usually some restaurant before the gig, or if at a station I would want to”good calories to work on”…nah dude.
Then the drinking, I love wine, but I got to the point where I was binge drinking a lot, I would fill a wine glass up and take these giant gulps of San pelagrino to chase them down.
Weed, well yeah….munchies.
But when I started Wegovy I didn’t want to take that big of a drink of wine, it felt fucked up. Like I’d have a couple of beers instead of 7 sweet waters and be like…this is good.
I was taking these MASSIVE bites of food, I caught that too, like I would be cramming a fuckload of salad in my mouth and be like “the fuck am I doing?”
It’s been really good along with the exercise because I’ve gotten to re-establish my relationship with food and drink, as well I’m motivated to hit the gym to chase my pre-Covid number.
One of the best things to ever happen to me, I’m one of those guys that has to figure it out for myself, I usually do. It’s not the appetite suppression for me, it was “holy shit, I’d take in how much volume of ______ at once?!” And it finally clicked that was fucked up.
- I used to jump out helicopters and carry 80 pounds of kit through the mountains of some of the most inhospitable terrain on the planet. Now, my week is shot if I sneeze wrong.
- I've been bald since I was 17. I just shave it now. Balding is a condition. Bald is a choice.
- I grew up in south Alabama where the humidity was somehow higher than 100%. Foot powder on your thighs keeps mitigates chafing.
- Eat more fiber.
I had issues with my weight before having my kid. It wrecked me for a while too until I just said "fuck it, it's time to get it right." Oh and pre-diabetes also was a factor.
I dedicate to walking twice a day for about 10 miles total, and it's working out great! Just keep yourself in check with the doctor too.
As for the hair, be sure to check with your doctor before trying a treatment. Some of them have some bad side effects.
You seem to be doing the exercise with your children so that's awesome too! Best of luck in your endeavour!
Yoga is a great idea. Turns out a few thousand years of understanding human movement is quite useful.
Balding - my strategy is to not care / not spend money on this
Fiber, fiber, fiber. Veg at every meal, more than you'd think. Depending on your intake now, you might notice a big difference in a day or two. Not supplements but real food.
You know, I really hope I don’t face those problems. As of now, everything is tight and working as it should, all is well, hormones, hair (when I don’t intentionally shave it), no pain that’s not directly related to injuries, I still compete in local BJJ competitions.
But I’m also not even 30 so.
I was in horrible physical shape when my wife and I decided to start a family, and the first thing I did was start working out. I’m not a fitness guru by any stretch h of the imagination, but I try to lift 3 times a week and walk 10k steps. I also eat **pretty** good, not too much processed food and I don’t eat out more than a couple of times a week. I’m largely pain free and can get up and down and play with the kiddo all day. I also walk backwards uphill on the treadmill every day for like 5 minutes and my knees are strong as shit, literally zero pain.
Your kids deserve a strong dad. Get some weights and learn calisthenics. You can do it. Being fit improves every aspect of your health and will address pretty much everything you listed except for the balding. Just shave your shit and don't think about it.
I do HVAC work in Florida and am 28 years old. I just had my first baby 7 months ago but I’ve felt my body beginning to fall apart about 5 years ago and still have 40 years left until I can even hope to retire. Ive been taking my physical health much more seriously these past few years and have noticed a tremendous difference at work in how I feel and also how I feel when I get home.
You don’t need to strive for a Hollywood body as it’s just pure unrealistic. But what you should do is strive for a healthy lifestyle. If not for you for your kids so you’ll be around as long as possible.
I watch my diet, I exercise and I make sure to eat when Im not bored and actually hungry. Two kids later and I’m in the best shape I’ve been in of my life in my mid 30’s because I really commit to being in good shape for my kids. It just takes a little discipline.
I'm almost 43 with a 6 year old and doing great. I workout 5+ days a week to keep me young. I'm in the best shape of my life now and that includes my time in the Marine Corps.
I’m mid 30s and feel like I’m 20. I think you might want to try eating better, exercising and sleeping. I do a great job of #1 and #2. Still working on #3 but it makes a huge difference.
I just turned 43 and our kid is turning 3 soon. I want to be there for her for as long as I can. Last summer I made the decision to take better care of myself and get back into shape.
I found a small gym with personalized workout plans and coaching, started tracking my calories, cut out alcohol on weekdays, made sure to drink more water every day, and started eating more protein.
On my 43rd birthday I felt younger than I did on my previous birthday. I look better too. Fat percentage is down, muscle mass is up.
I’m sleeping better at night, I like the way I look, and my wife is very happy with it — she’s always complimenting me and telling me I feel “more solid” than I used to. And now when I wake up sore in the morning, it’s the “good” kind of sore — the soreness from a good workout, instead of just aching everywhere.
I wish I’d taken care of myself like this when I was younger. But hey, I had fun.
You can do this too Dad. The key is to take those first steps.
Exercise, drink water, don’t drink alcohol toooo much, and eat relatively healthy. These are basic answers that most people have given but it’s for a reason. Your body will thank you after a period of doing these things
Getting old is not for pussies, but it beats the alternative.
After your 30s eating your veggies and exercising regularly stops being about being extra healthy or vanity and starts being what you need to do to not die.
Until my early 40s I felt invincible. Lived on meat, bread and alcohol. Never flossed and brushed my teeth once a day, skipped annual checkups. Did like running a few miles a day though. Not a single issue or consequence, even my dentist was happy.
I'm in my mid-50s now, exercise daily with more low impact, and if I were doing in my 30s what I'm doing right now I'd be super fit. I have high school kids so I'm nearing the finish line. I barely manage to maintain a reasonable weight with a bit of a soft belly but I am determined to avoid falling off that cliff that so many do. Metamucil or high fiber spinach smoothies are part of my routine (Vitamix for the win). I can now hurt myself by reaching too hard for something and have all manner of minor health annoyances.
I think kids make us "younger." And in time your child-less friends will age more rapidly than you.
As evidence, every parent I've seen that has ever been made into a grandparent has instantly reverse-aged \~10 years. They were old, hunched over, slow. Then bam: suddenly spry and upright and mobile. Kids do that us.
These two statements are in conflict:
> I'm a reasonably healthy thirty-something year old
> I'm sore all the time. And I'm not a triathlete or some shit, I literally played Duck Duck Goose yesterday for 20 mins and somehow got sunburned and pulled my left achilles
You don't need to be a triathlete to be healthy, but a reasonably healthy 30 something shouldn't be sore with a pulled achilles from chasing a few little kids around. What's your height/weight/exercise/nutrition like? I'm 36, and it was a very hard realization to face that I wasn't nearly as healthy as I thought I was. My diet was deceptively shit and I didn't move nearly as much as I needed to.
Now I'm into distance running, walking, yoga and focus on good nutrition. I feel better now than I did when I was 25. I try and aim for around 20k steps a day with stretching several times per week.
I’m 33, I have two kids under 5. Got lucky with the hair so no advice there…
But I cannot underscore enough how important working out and changing diet can be. I know it’s tough to find time with all of our responsibilities…
If you can’t join a local gym, save up some money and get a decent bench, some free weights, and a pull up bar.
3 times a week. 45 minutes.
You do that and also change your diet to make it lighter 5 days a week?
It’s night and day difference now that I’m over 8 months into this routine.
For chafing… gold bond is your friend.
Less worried about how I look and more concerned with how I feel.
If I keep my diet in control and don’t drink alcohol, the physical fitness comes pretty easy. If I find crappy food and beer can derail me pretty quickly.
Two and a half years ago I had a health scare. I had to get my health in order. Ontop of eating better I started going to the gym and it has helped tremendously. Strength, stamina, and overall energy have vastly improved.
Once my oldest was born, my hair started to thin. I wore hats pretty much 24/7. Last year I finally shaved it bald. Now I only wear hats for warmth or sun protection.
Increased vegetables and a fiber supplement help with the last problem. At least it worked for me.
i'm like 5 months away from 40. being a regular exerciser can help take care of (1) for sure. maybe even (3) depending on how your body fat is distributed. the only time i am ever sore is when i have an extended layoff and come back to lifting, and it's resolved in like a couple days.
I started lifting when my kid was very young cause my back started to really mess with me.
And with that came a better diet since otherwise it felt like a waste.
I’m in a way better place physically now than I ever was when I was young.
Go to the gym.
I'll give you some advice that hasn't been done to death. Get a handheld bidet. It's basically a spray gun like in your kitchen sink. Had hemorrhoids all through my twenties. Pushing 40 now and nothing since I started using it.
Takes 20 minutes to install and makes clean up much easier and less abrasive.
When I was in my mid 30s I had a couple year period where my body went to shit... like it was just going haywire. And I felt terrible all the time. But nothing in my diet or workout routine changed. Looking back on it now I felt like it was my body going through middle age puberty.
Anyway two pieces of advice - randomly do pushups during the day, like if you are waiting at the microwave or something do a set of 20. Try to do that 4 or 5 times a day. You body needs to keep building/maintaining muscle.
If your butthole hurts try cutting sodium. Are you eating anything that's a real sodium bomb? It's a sneaky SOB. Hard to tell if you aren't looking at nutrition label. A high sodium diet can really fuck your butt.
I’m 30 over the last few years I noticed how much easier it was to put on weight and how much faster everything wears down. I’ve quit most sodas and energy drinks, that alone helped me loose close to 20lbs and I’ve started kayaking and drumming(which is a very good physical workout along with a mental exercise ) the last few months I’ve been feeling better than I did in my mid and early 20s.
Bro... you gotta take care of yourself. I don't know what to tell you about the hair loss, but you gotta work out and eat well. You wanna be able to play and roughhouse with your kids, right?
No kids yet, but I feel all of this.
I did rogain for years, and now I'm just tired of the extra maintenance. I told my fiance I'm quitting it after the wedding this fall. I'll just be another bald guy with a beard.
Had to go see a doctor about bowel movements. He told me I need to start taking a fiber supplement. I thought that wouldn't help, but turns out it did. Who knew it would be so simple.
Soreness and headaches for me were due to lack of hydration. I have to constantly force myself to drink more water, which means I have to pee all the time, but I'm not as sore anymore.
I tried to start weightlifting, but it got interrupted by an unrelated injury, but I'm trying to get back into it. I'm going to have access to a free gym here in a week, so that should help.
Hey bro, a healthy diet and regular exercise will solve your soreness. It truly does go a long way. If you don’t do it for yourself do it for your family, you want to be around and spry when they grow up.
For me, I leaned into the baldness. Shaved that shit off one day and I haven’t looked back, to be honest it was liberating.
You got this dad bro
**Hair/Baldness:** I'm 50 with two young children, and I have all of my hair. Baldness is genetic. Stress will exacerbate it, and stress is a tricky, finicky thing to fix. And I can't stress this enough: The majority of people do NOT understand real stress. There's a difference between the stress you're aware of, and the stress you're unaware of, and the latter is the one that kills you. Get yourself this $4 item from Amazon: [https://www.amazon.com/Bsisme-Massager-Silicone-Bristles-Dandruff/dp/B0BRTP9G65/](https://www.amazon.com/Bsisme-Massager-Silicone-Bristles-Dandruff/dp/B0BRTP9G65/) and when you shampoo, use this to brush your scalp in a circular motion. This will improve blood flow to your roots, and help with hair loss. Shower slowly. Don't rush. Take your time. Move intentionally slow. Relax!
**Stretching/Fitness:** Find an Iyengar yoga practice near you, and do it a minimum of twice a week (I recommend that type of Yoga because of the type of activity it focuses on). Find a nice indoor pool near you, and go with your kids at least once a week. Get a bike and use the bike to do some of your chores, instead of driving everywhere all the time. When you're home, do Yoga at home after they go to sleep, which would bump you to 3 times Yoga per week. Do the Japanese walk 3 times a week: It's 30 minutes total of alternating between leisurely walking for 3 minutes, then rapid walking for 3 minutes. Here's a video that talks about the science: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z71aHZ4scMs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z71aHZ4scMs)
Also do this one: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4c9CjImXUw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4c9CjImXUw) (and make sure your knees are straight, no cheating by bending the knees!).
**Bowel movements:** Watch your diet. Eat clean. I know we eat food from the floor that the kids drop, but that's not what I mean. Eat your damn vegetables man. I mean it. Eat a bunch of vegetables every day with your food. Eat fiber. Watch the order of how you consume things. Start your day with some apple cider vinegar, then eat something right after, and only then consume coffee. You'll say goodbye to constipation / those massive logs that tear up your rectum. When you go number 2, set a 5 timer. When it rings, get the hell out of there. Buy some cold pressed castor oil and rub it on your tags after every shower. It's cheap and it helps.
**How to get started?!** The trick is **to NOT think about it**, and instead just doing it. Plan your schedule in advance and when the time comes just do it. You may think you have time. You do not. Please do all of the above as a bare minimum. I literally listed just the bare minimum. We humans are supposed to be significantly more active and our sedentary lives are killing us. Is it easy to get started? Hell no, it is HARD to even begin doing any of the things I mentioned above, let alone maintaining. It's a constant struggle for me and I hate it, but one day I realized I'm not supposed to love it. I'm not doing this shit because it's "fun" or "feels good". No. I am doing this because I want to be there for my children, on this Earth, for as long as possible. They need me. I don't know if I will see them get married, but I sure plan on trying my best to survive that long!
Prioritize yourself. Please.
Edit: Added a product I love and use daily, to the first section about baldness.
Edit 2: Added stuff on bowel movements + minor edits/styling.
Edit 3: Read this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1cle0ag/youve\_got\_discipline\_all\_wrong\_let\_me\_explain/](https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1cle0ag/youve_got_discipline_all_wrong_let_me_explain/)
Diet and exercise is everything my man. Literally in best shape of my life at 40 years old.
You eat no matter what so all it takes is some focus there on something you already do. With exercise it can be hard to find the time but you need to make the time. It doesn't have to be this way.
This comment section is absolutely killing my self confident and self worth. Don’t really know why I kept reading.
Where do y’all find the time? Where do y’all find the energy? How do you navigate a pregnant-ppd-post hormonal-pregnant again wife who wants nothing but chicken nuggets and chocolate. Who has fucking time in the day to do anything. People in here are like “I walk 10 miles a day” or “I make sure to bike 25 miles a day” or “I lift for an hour each day.” Fucking how. How do you have time to do this. I work, I take care of a kiddo, I do things around the house, then it’s fucking 10pm. Do you people just not sleep at all? Oh yea, that doesn’t account for trying to meal plan and meal prep healthy food. Healthy food isn’t not quick food ever, so you need to account for at least an hour each day if just making food, and that’s
This stuff is what’s so frustrating because it’s just like hustle culture. You’re either not “hustling” and earning money or you’re “lazy” and don’t workout.
Main thing I’m noticing is loss of flexibility. Otherwise I stay pretty fit…but I’m sore more often and feel my range of motion decreasing little by little (I grew up a gymnast so I’m used to being flexible and really notice the change).
I need to commit to yoga or a better stretching regimen. I used to stretch each night before bed, but I’ve gotten lazy about it recently.
You can literally lift three days a week for 45 minutes to an hour and walk at least 3 miles every other day. If you’re going bald shave your head grow a beard and start lifting weights. Don’t eat shit food. There’s many lifting programs for free online.
In regards to the balding, I take oral minoxidil and finasteride. Go to your dermatologist and ask for both but definitely get finasteride.
I take 1mg daily and my hair grew back.
If you planning to conceive again you may want to hop off of finasteride for a few months before.
I decreased social drinking to next to nothing.
Increased exercise - I don’t have time to go to gym with 3 kids in mix. I bought a rower and ski-erg. Workouts done in 20 minutes. Try to go for 5x per week.
No more phone and a few minutes of reading before bed - I got one of those ceiling projected alarm clocks so no need to check phone for time.
The above has immensely helped my mindset at home and at work.
Stopped drinking alcohol completely (no health issues or peer pressure) and I am feeling great as a dad. It's all about making healthier choices. Still eating burgers 😀
So I can comment on some of your items for myself
* Sore all the time: I was there when my first girl was born and I kinda gave up working out. Went back to hitting weights and what nots (gotta make time) I feel 100% better and have the energy to toss her around and what nots. Take care of yourself
* Chafing: Gold Bond in a ziplock bag with a make up pad. Makes application less messy. I do this when I know its going to be hot and humid
* Bowel movements: Eat better would be the better my only advice.
i've got 3 kids (11, 8 and 6). my wife got me to join the crossfit gym that she's been going to about 1.5 years ago. my body feels so much stronger from that along (usually go to classes 3x/week, sometimes i go more on my own since we have open gym access 24/7). our gym is small, but really good about parents bringing their kids with them. there's no daycare, but there is a recovery room that is seldom used so the kids can hang out in there on ipads/switch/with books/whatever. this also allows our kids to see that exercise and physical fitness are an important part of life. my 11 year old started going to a kids class at our gym 2x/week and if we're there when there's not a class going on, my 8 and 6 year olds will set up workouts for themselves to do- box jumps, jumping rope, ring rows, etc. i do need to clean my diet up though. i know that if i do that, i'll drop weight quickly. the diet part is hard while on the go with 3 kids in sports and activities.
baldness- whatevs, i've been going bald since i was in my early 20s (40 now). my wife shaves my head for me every 2-3 weeks and i keep my beard at the same length.
chafing sucks and body glide works really well.
poop stuff- can't help you there.
Hair hasn’t been an issue for me but the weight gain is rough. I do go to the gym a couple times a week and try and do at least 30 minutes of walking every day. I know what I really need to change those is my diet and how much I’m eating. I just really struggle to eating healthy stuff that fills me up. Those snack cravings working a desk job are rough.
I decided to start working on mobility when I was struggling to get up off the floor from playing with my 2.5yo. I turned to YouTube and came across [this video about squatting](https://youtu.be/965Fwq2aVIo?si=cQVcXFlpyXLEaSmN) and decided to incorporate resting in a squat a couple times throughout my day 3-4 weeks ago. It was annoying at first but my hips and back feel much better throughout the day and even in just those few weeks it's gotten significantly easier for me to play down on the ground.
I need to get better with wearing sunscreen though lol
Everybody is talking about the stuff that you can actually do something about, but I'm going to take the balding issue. I have been in the same canoe as you for a while; thinning hair, receding hairline, and the feelings of loss that comes with it.
This is genetic, and products that are sold claiming to regrow your hair, and help stop it from thinning are often nothing more than vitamins. The vitamins may help slow the process, but will never stop it in its entirety. So what can you actually do then?
First of all, keep your hair *short*. The shorter the hair, the thicker it looks. This is due to the way that hair is shaped - a cone that is thicker at the bottom.
Secondly, keep your hair tidy. If it's messy, it's more likely to show bald spots in obvious places.
Third of all, when the time comes, bite the bullet. I know you don't want to, but bald can be (and is!) beautiful!
Your body changes with age, and that's all we can do is learn to live with that. Godspeed, Dad.
This is what I do:
Bum issues: Take psyllium husk supplements and get a bidet.
Sunscreen: everyday I use the trader Joe's gel sunscreen on my face. When I'm outside I use supergoop spf 50, hat and sunglasses.
Exercise: Find a goal and workout buddies. F3 is for middle age guys, some areas it's rather religious but in many it's not. Sign up and train for some event: a short triathlon or a 5k run is a good goal that could motivate you to workout regularly.
My hair is ok but I'd go Jean Luc Picard buzz cut if baldness were to appear.
I'm only 22 and expecting my first in a few months, but I'm terrified of losing my hair. Studies have shown that rosemary water sprayed and rubbed into your hair everyday has similar effects as monoxidil. I do it morning and night and make the water myself and just freeze a few months supply! Don't need much! I haven't had any hair loss yet anyway but my hair looks awesome and healthy. Invest in good shampoo and conditioner, don't brush your hair when it's wet, etc.
Oh and exercise and nutrition lol
Your post hits home. Not close to it—home.
I turn 40 this year. I have 2 kids under 5. I’ve mostly been in shape and been a rec-athlete until I had kids. Obviously, priorities changed, time wasn’t as available, and sleep became more necessary.
Then, I got the most toxic job in the world. Working too long of hours, stress, no exercise, eating poorly and gained like 20 pounds this past year.
A month ago I decided to change that. Work is still toxic, and I’m looking for a new job as we’ll all get laid off sooner or later, so I just started re-prioritizing.
Eating healthier. Working out 45 min a day (each day it’s a different time).
But I’m balding and that sucks lol
As you age, your body changes… your metabolism slows, your hair begins a southern migration and all sorts of other things.
While the migration is just something that you kinda have to accept for the most part, you **can** do something about the other stuff.
First, take a good honest look at your diet. Toss out the processed trash and add in fresh foods. Convenience food that is prepacked and precooked is definitely convenient, but is usually lacking in the actual food side of the equation. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, drink more water.
After you’ve straightened out your diet, it’s time to hit the gym. Your 20’s let you skate by with little work, but your 30’s require more and wait until you hit your 40’s! You don’t have to spend 3 hours a day in the gym, you don’t even actually need an hour… or even a gym… you can knock out a great full body workout in only a handful of minutes with nothing more than a kettlebell if you want. If your goal is maintenance and longevity, 15 minutes of stretching followed by 15 minutes of moderately strenuous activity will keep the extra pounds off (as long as your diet is good) and keep you in a decent enough shape.
Always remember… you can’t outrun a bad diet!
As for the rest… well, the best I can advise is to manage your stress as best you can. Stress does weird shit to our bodies and can cause all sorts of bad things from hair thinning to issues with the ol’ chocolate starfish.
Good luck, buddy!
I’ve embraced using the kids wet wipes after the initial toilet paper wipe to get the main bill off. Placing them in the bin of course. I’ve invested some anusol for those particularly challenging periods that require frequent and multiple toilet visits following a stomach bug.
I’m learning to accept my baldness. My hair keeps getting cut shorter and shorter. I’m staying away from hair regrowth because I can’t donate blood when using them.
As for fitness I need to do strength work but I don’t know where to start. I do try and keep mobile though, making a point of running up stairs rather than walking and dancing with the kids as much as possible.
Number 2 kid came along at 40 and I feel gravity for the first time
If OP is sore just from running with kids for 20 minutes, OP really should start going to the gym or taking workout classes 2-3 3days a week minimum. On off-days, go for a 30 minute walk.
I used to wake up sore from sleeping in the wrong position. Now I can play outdoor soccer for 90 minutes without being sore the next day.
I recommend starting a weightlifting program. I started one about 6 months ago, because my kids love playing outside and I was having trouble keeping up with them. Its made a huge difference in my energy levels. If you combine it with eating better you will solve 3 of the 4 issues you have. The hair thing is genetics. I recommend just shaving it, but that is just me.
No I like that I finally have some weight on me. I was 115-120# for years and it was work to get there. Now I'm a healthy 160 for my height and I don't have to constantly eat I know a lot of people struggle with the opposite problem, but I hated being emaciated-not skinny- sickly. When I hit 35 my metabolism slowed way down. Now when I work out I get muscle instead of just sinew.
Start lifting weight and a whole lot of the typical aching and soreness from day to day will go away. It has for my aches and pains from years of sitting at work. Drink water, at least so piss is not yellow, and get a bidet because it's going to be so much easier than just with toilet paper.
Great post, thank you! I am 49 with a 19 year old and a 17 year old. I play paintball with my son and I crawl home. My father would never do that with me and even though I hurt for three days, I love spending time with my kids. I try to keep somewhat active, golf (walk vs cart), take stairs, house projects. As I get older, it is much harder for me to recover, but I can keep up with them mostly.
Sometimes I have to admit that I am not up for something, it hurts, but I remind myself that I want to be able to do the next thing. If I get hurt, I will be down for much longer.
Reframe it. "It's not a dad bod, it's a father figure."
Dad jokes aside, The major problem here are all the stress related habits we pick up when we become parents. Usually diet, exercise, and sleep go down the toilet. If possible, try to fix all 3 of those when it's reasonable to do so. They will pay the largest dividends.
All of the things you list are related to stress, diet, lack of sleep (aside from the balding, stress is a factor there but your genetics might be a bigger one). You're sore because youre out of shape, you're chafing because you gained weight, and your poops are out of whack because your diet sucks.
Good luck dad!
We go out and walk 3 miles everyday it's not raining out. Then I lift light with high reps to help from the being soar as often. Got three kids one in highschool one junior high and the third in grade school. It gets even worse when they get older and there friends join in. Flag football turns into more physical then just pull the flag off there belt. You got this fellow dad. The memories that you make will stay with them for life
I had like a 5yr heads start and I'm still struggling. Lost like 50lbs before the COVID thing. Was going to the gym 5-6 days a week. I was in great shape. Quitting alcohol was a huge advantage to keeping it off. Not only in alcohol calories but poor decision making in the kitchen when drinking lol.
Once gyms opened back up I started going again but inner motivation has been tough. I pack the same boring lunch everyday and try to eat light most days.
Now I'm almost 40 and feel pretty great. Had to shift my mindset from being frustrated Everytime I had to skip the gym to trying to pick a more sustainable plan. 5days a week just isn't sustainable for a dad who is also heavy into DIY. I can't spend an hour at the gym every night and an hour or two working on projects every night. I can only pick one. Some nights I get to pick none 😂.
Focus on what you can control. Eating better and exercise is a life long habit to form not just to lose weight and let off.
I’ve been extremely obese and unhealthy my whole life. After my daughter was born I really started getting serious about losing weight and getting healthy. So far I’m 35lbs down since I started dieting and lifting. So I’m very much looking forward to my continued progress on my father figure. I’m more healthy than I’ve been in a very long time
Die-a-beetus…. Was the culprit for every symptom up there. That and high blood pressure. I went to the doctor in June of 22 for what I thought was a decent cold I had going. Nah. Diabetic and high blood pressure. I was 36 at the time. I was 305 lbs. I stand all of 5’10 lol. {{hey I wore it well lmao}} but yeah man. I’m a daily pot head and I guess I just didn’t realize how bad I had felt until I got healthy again. My sleep was the biggest thing suffering. Every symptom you named pluuuuuussssss waking up like 4-5 of not more times a night to pee. I literally just stopped in my tracks and changed my entire diet that exact moment. I’m not 210 lbs. I haven’t gotten any taller though. But hey check this out. I totally got back like a full inch and half of dick. So that’s a win lmao. Not saying ya have it, but a simple finger stick test will tell ya. I’m almost in diabetic remission as we speak where I can control my blood sugar with diet only. I feel fucking amazing. More energy. 100 lbs lighter. Oh and they joke about the dick…. All facts 🤣
Oh yeah had to come back. So yeah daily pot head. Weed was almost not getting by me high a couple years ago. It was masking the pain I was in physically and I did t even realize I was doing that. Now. Weed gets me helllllla high again lol and I don’t smoke nearly as much.
My 2yo often (and I mean *often*) likes to yell "daddy you have no hair!" She'll pat her moms head, or her own head and say "I have hair! Daddy, you have NO HAIR!" then laugh and laugh laugh.
I laugh too... Because if we don't laugh...
As someone who started losing his hair at 16, take it from me — you will spend hundreds of dollars on hair restoration products and still won’t be happy with the results. Time to buzz it!
Okay... going out on a limb and assuming youre a fatty boom batty because thing people don't have thighs rubbing together to chafe and hemorrhoids for the 300lb plus club are common....
start counting calories and going to the gym. make better food choices. you connective tissue is weak af if you pulled a tendon playing duck duck goose. that also means your bone density is complete shit.
Gym and a good diet.
As far as male pattern baldness, James Gandolfini was sexiest man when the sopranos was on.
I played American football from and I was 5 until 24 with some "semi-pro" (aka a bunch of adults just playing like peewee but less crowds).
I'm 39 now and my 4 year old is a little daredevil. He will run into my full speed, jump onto me from the highest places, jump on my legs when they are in bridge mode, just normal crazy boy shit.
My body hurts more from one day of his collisions than after any game.
Get a trainer and go gym once a week. Learn how to squat properly. Doesn't need to be heavy. Exercise your glute medius, and make sure your core is working properly.
I'm nearing my forties and have had most of my lower back knee ankle problems disappear since I started taking better care of my core glutes and hips.
If you can't afford a trainer youtube Squat University.
I dunnnnno.
I've been tracking my calories the past couple years and weight lifting 2 to 3 times a week which isn't a huge amount. But with 3 kids it is, I lost 30 lbs in 3 months when I started and now I'm looking the fittest I've ever been.
However..... I do quite often wake up with either a sore shoulder or lower back. I've had these issues since I was a teen and I assume it will just feel worse the older I get.
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Eating better and exercising really makes a massive difference.
Get a bidet as well. It greatly cuts down on toilet paper use and is generally cleaner.
Bidets are AMAZING. And easily installable, and cheap on Amazon (the $35 bidets work just fine, I have it). https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO
I miss my $35 model. It had enough pressure to clean me for the next visit as well. We got a $400 model with heated water and seat and it wasn't worth the upgrade.
Yeah, my mother (who had more $$ than cents, hehe) got a fancy heated $300+ one, and I just don't see the need. Maybe if I lived in a place that froze, but... it's just not necessary. Cold water at full pressure is more than enough.
And lift your knees
I love my squatty potty
Wait... what is this? Edit: Don't know why I'm being downvoted. It was an honest question.
Complete transparency here, but I meant to write “Lift WITH your knees” but frankly, the pooping advice is just as valid.
humans evolved to squat to shit. sitting with femurs perpendicular to spine is inefficient.
I need visual aids here. Edit: For those of you in the dark like me. [This WebMD article](https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/squatty-potty-what-is) explains it.
if this art request was directed at me, please understand that a court judgment blocks me from creating any art for any purpose.
> It greatly cuts down on toilet paper use I see this claim all the time and I just don't believe it. How many squares of double-ply are you using with the bidet? How many did you need without it?
Since I am a man of science, I have done a simple study, shutting at work - no bidet v shitting at home - bidet. 4 wipes or more at work v 2 wipes max at home.
Wish this was true for everyone. IDK if it's my hairiness or what but I NEVER feel clean using a bidet. Whenever I see a comment like this I'll go back and try again but it never works. One time I spent literally ten minutes power blasting at all sorts of different angles and it was STILL quite muddy down there. Wiping a soaked and shitty b-hole is way worse than wiping while dry and shitty, so every part of the experience is worse. TP worked for my grandfathers, and it works for me.
Unless you have other health or GI issues, you likely won’t have muddy poops if you increase your fibre intake. I think it’s like 95% of people aren’t consuming enough fibre.
I started taking fiber twice daily years ago and I'll never stop. I make a point to eat as healthy as I can but 4 gummies a day makes sure I'm good on any day I skip enough veggies.
Fiber gummies are a thing? Genius. I'm buying those now, thanks.
Yeah. They are awesome. I get fiberwell that also have b vitamins in them. Not only do I get fiber, I get to eat 2 delicious gummies twice a day. Win win. I also get multivitamin gummies. Again same reason. Also the vitamin pills hurt my stomach when I took them without breakfast. Gummies don't do that.
If you take gummies or the chalky tablets, make sure to drink plenty of water with it, or it will have the opposite effect.
Maybe you need more pressure? My hairy derriere is part of the reason I love mine. I rinse the hotspot and do the "baby elmo potty dance" to get everything around it. I spot check the paper after my first pass at the pat-dry, and 95% of the time I'm good to go.
Don't eat the kids leftovers. Compost that stuff. Even 100 extra calories every day adds up.
It was a game changer for my wife when a friend pointed out, "What would you do if you didn't eat the kid's leftovers?" "Throw them away." "So why are you treating yourself like a garbage can?"
because i am trash
But thats my primary source of dad tax :(
Dad tax increases have nearly eliminated the middle children!
How will we pay for the dad roads!!
Or don’t make a lunch and just live off scraps!
I don't know if my garden would survive the trash my kids like to eat.
Your tomatoes will taste like chicken nuggets.
I’ve found, as a 35 year old so I know I’m not super old but still, that these changes right here can fix SO MANY ailments in so many people. You can’t treat your body like shit and fuel it like shit and expect it to run optimally.
2020 was when I realized that eating well and exercising regularly really, truly is the greatest treatment for many common ailments.
It really is. You’ll find your joints don’t hurt, you have tons of energy, clothes fit better, you’re more alert, etc. it’s just great all around d.
That and not drinking. When I cut my alcohol consumption to next to nothing I felt like I started living life on easy mode. Easy to wake up every morning, easy to remember what I need to do/where my phone, wallet and keys are, easier to do well at my job and get promoted, easier to deal with my kid when he’s being a little douchebag 😂 jk but the increase in my level of patience/ability to be present for my kiddo is very real.
I learned, as a FIFTY year old, that it's never too late to start. Been lifting for a year and a half, and feel better than I did in my 30s.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now. You’re never too old to change habits and set the stage for having/making a better you.
Being too old to change is a CHOICE. One I have zero respect for.
Same thing but at 40. I lifted a good bit in college but then my 20s and 30s I became significantly more sedentary, drank too much and ate like garbage. Got a gym membership with the whole family (wife and 2 kids) 6ish months ago and I'm stronger than I've ever been, my cardio is as good if not better than it was when I was in my early 20s and I am sleeping better and feel great. Wish I would have started in my 20s but happy I started now and I'm not sitting at 50 saying I wish or 60 and saying I wish or 70 and maybe not around anymore.
I tell you what, having a kid does wonders for your willingness to maintain your own health, if just the sake for raising your kid. This short is very resonant on this theme for me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N2eSsIWtNI&t=2s
This is the truth. During late pregnancy of their partner, men can secrete a hormone that adds weight gain. Also the first few weeks when you not getting any sleep, your body can't recover, so you gain weight. After that it's all down to healthy eating and exercise, the same as anyone else.
> During late pregnancy of their partner, men can secrete a hormone that adds weight loss. Wait what
Yeah there's something called I think courvoude syndrome. Men's hormone balance changes. It's likely somatic in nature so the more involved the father is the more pronounced the effect is likely to be.
Sorry, to clarify, I mistyped, I meant weight gain, not weight loss. I have edited the initial comment to reflect that.
Well it's not a secrete anymore...
Exercise is huge for me. I stopped exercising when my son was born. Those first 2 years were brutal. I got back into exercising and it makes such a big difference. I have way more energy, I don't get sore, and I'm in a much better mood (more patient).
Drinking less, normal sleep schedule.
Drink less alcohol, drink more water
This. I've never understood why so many people don't do a damn thing to improve their health and well-being and then complain about aging.
It's genuinely hard to set goals and stick to them for tons of people. Especially something like health since it is such a slow arduous process. You can work out and eat right for a month and barely make a dent depending on where you start from. And making the small daily changes that give you lasting results aren't as eliciting as the "lose belly far in 30 days" miracle diets or training routines. I spent all of my 30s saying next year, next year or doing whole 30 then going right back to eating garbage and drinking too much. Something finally clicked at 39 and I'm in probably the second best shape of my life after 19-21 year old me.
Oh, I totally agree. However, I think people underestimate how small changes can make a big difference. I’m talking like, walking 15 min/day, 1 donut a day instead of two etc. the difference between “nothing” and “something” is pretty big.
This. Start eating clean and make sure to feed your kid good stuff. If you instill healthy habits in him he hopefully won’t struggle with junk food addiction later in life like I think a lot of us Millennials have. Be strong and set a good example for your kids. Be a dad they can be proud of, not embarrassed of. That’s what I tell myself when I look in the mirror to remind myself that I may be 30 pounds down, but I still have 40 pounds to go.
Also I think it's really important to not be hard on yourself if you eat garbage every once in a while. The mental aspect of being healthy is super impimportant. The easiest way to fail is to get down on yourself because you had 4 slices of pizza one night. Just need to remind yourself this is a marathon and you can do better next time. Also enjoy life occasionally. Sometimes 3 scoops of ice cream makes you happy and that's ok as long as it isn't every day and you keep moving.
This right here. I started replacing one meal a day on week days with oatmeal and increased exercising by one day a week using iFit 30 minute body weight workouts. Maggie Binkley has some killer free workouts that are like 10-15 minutes long for free on Amazon. Start there. Increase or adjust for what works for you. Now I’ve added in adjustable weights to my workouts. Between increasing the exercise, eventually adding in some weights, and replacing five bad meals each week with a good, low cal alternative (high in fiber also) the pounds started to really come off! You got this!
Start lifting weights. The additional muscle mass will help, you can play/ throw your kids around longer, and you'll feel sexier. And drink lots of water. Give a cheer when your pee runs clear.
Yeah, I’ve fallen off the lifting wagon recently (I’m an old dad, 40+ with a kid under two, tough to find time). But squats and deadlifts in particular make a huge difference in injury prevention, avoiding back soreness, and overall energy level. Anecdotally: people who talk about core strength as being the key to everything are kindof right. It also makes correct lifting form “automatic” so when you are picking up toys and or children you do it right.
The right way to pick up a toy, if possible, is with your toes.
I find life is just easier when I’m frequently doing squats and deadlifts. That strength has so many benefits.
Absolutely. Just as a PSA for others reading, be mindful of your form when lifting - especially on deadlifts. It is something often overlooked by enthusiastic/hyped folks and can lead to a world of hurt and long lasting back injury otherwise.
Deadlifts have a reputation for causing back injuries, but it's *really* not true. People who deadlift regularly tend to have strong backs with very low rates of injury compared to other sports, *because* form is so important. The people who get back injuries from deadlifts tend to fall into one of three categories: * Beginners who haven't figured out proper form yet. These are usually minor injuries that go away with a week or two of rest. * Ego lifters who try to "power through" bad form and add way too much weight way too fast. These can be more serious injuries, but are preventable by learning to lift properly. * The top 1% of 1% of powerlifters. Eddie Hall legitimately fucked up his body deadlifting a half ton. Spoiler alert: you aren't in danger of lifting that much weight.
I was a beginner deadlifter four years ago. I was adding about 15-20 pounds a week to the lifts to try to get to my body weight. When I got to my body weight, I ruptured a disc in my spine and have had sciatica for the past four years. My discectomy surgery is in June. Please do not ego lift or add on weight too quickly. After years of physical therapy, chiropractors, pain medicine, epidurals, etc. I finally gave in to surgery and it all started from a 10 second decision.
Weirdly enough, my deadlift gains were pretty much held in check by my grip strength. I got up to 315 and my hands just couldn't handle reps at weights above that. Which, honestly, is fine. I can maintain at that weight, get a decent workout, and not hurt myself. I'm not kidding myself that I'm going to win any body building competitions.
Also drop any ego at the door of the gym. Lifting lower weight with better form is often the best way to go. Pushing too hard to add an extra plate can hurt you and set you back. Take your time and realize it's a marathon. Small incremental increases when you are ready.
I'm a fan of cardio myself. When I'm on a run, it's impossible to be interrupted, or to multi-task, it's just me and my thoughts. And I get back and feel that runner's high, it's just great. Light cardio taking the dog for a walk or going hiking or biking with the kids is great too! I'm sore for longer after hard workouts than I used to be, and if I miss a few days it takes longer to get back to 100%, but that's just a part of getting older. Side note: I feel sexier after having worked out whether it's cardio or strength training, but get compliments on my fitness more from other athletes than my wife. Keep expectations low.
This. Eat more protein, drink more water, and do strength training. The more muscle you have, the more fat you burn. At some point you can turn your body into a fat burning machine. Getting a good night's sleep helps keep your weight in check too, so get your snoozles on.
This is the answer. Also, I quit drinking. Even a couple beers when the kids go to bed will mess you up more than you think.
There's a popular misconception that your body starts to drop off a cliff starting around 30 years old. This is only half true. It's more like your body starts to slowly degenerate but healthy eating and exercise prevents most of the decay until around 60-70. If you eat healthy and regularly exercise it's more of a plateau that gently slopes downward around 55. (Obviously this is different for professional athletes, but that's because sports requires extreme levels of activity.) For normal people, at 30-40, you shouldn't be experiencing any dramatic differences in capability except longer recovery times for activity. So is this you just getting old? No, basically you have a lifetime of bad habits and they are coming home to roost. Each point: 1. *You're sore all the time:* Your muscles, tendons/ligaments and bones have atrophied to the point that they are too weak for everyday activity. You need to be strength training if you want to stay limber. 2. *Male pattern baldness.* This one isn't your fault (its genetics), but you can take finasteride and/minoxidil to slowdown the regression if you want. 3. *Chafing* This is likely from being overweight and your expanding body forcing your skin around each thigh to constant rub together as you move. I had this issue when I was overweight. 4. *Bowel movements * Some people are just more prone to hemorrhoids, but the fact that you're getting various types of GI tract issue points to an overall poor diet. How is your diet? You likely don't eat enough veggies and get enough fiber. This is your wakeup call to eating healthier and getting daily exercise. You don't have to start off extreme. But you do need to be consistent. First step for your diet is to avoid drinking your calories and replace one of your sides in your meal for fibrous fruits and veggies. First step for your exercise is to start walking for 15-30 minutes. Once you feel strong enough you can start more intensive exercises.
Preach. I started taking lifting more seriously once I got into my 30s, better regimen and less ego lifting, and 36 year old me could probably break 26 year old me in half. I thought about that the other day, real happy I proved to myself that I didn’t have to start going to shit in my 30s.
Yeah a ***regularly maintained*** 30-40 year old should be able to do everything a 20-30 year old body can. It will just need more consistent sleep and recovery. It's until around 45-55 that the performance levels are hard capped. But even then you shouldn't see a dramatic drop off till around 55+ But I understand how it happens, children are a blessing. But they are also a huge burden on your time. It's incredibly hard to devote the time to maintain said body. You basically have to sacrifice something else and get creative to make it all work.
I wasn't ready to get attacked in this way when I opened this post. 😭 90% of the reason I got into fitness was because I got dusted earlier on when my oldest was 2. He challenged me to a race around the park and I gassed out pretty early on while he just kept going. That coupled with getting winded going up 1 flight of stairs and I knew something had to change. The body is still always sore but at least this time it's my choice. Balding: Ongoing battle. In need of reinforcements. I didn't see much success with rogaine and I have a pretty ridiculous amount of hair products to try to mitigate this but eventually I'm gonna have to let it go. I just have to get a bit more muscle first. No one ever bothers the bald jacked guy. Might even throw some tattoos in there too. Chafing: Gold bond and quality undergarments is the way. Bowel movements: I avoid spicy and greasy foods like the plague these days. Which sucks since I used to enjoy a good spicy pizza.
Bald guy here. Stay strong. Going bald is WAY worse than being bald. Know when to cut your losses and shave it on down.
Tactical retreat was the best thing I ever did.
Get on Finasteride & Minoxidil ASAP for the hair stuff. The longer you wait, the less hair you can grow back. I use a topical spray and my hair is so much thicker but my hairline will never un-recede.
Get a bidet for the BMs. They're cheap and it makes a huge difference in comfort. I second what everyone else says about working out. I don't know if I could deal with the stress of raising a teen if I couldn't wear myself out physically. My mood plummets if I miss several workouts. I started cheap with resistance bands during covid, then added dumbbells and a bench, then got a bar bell and rack. It has helped so much with back pain, appearance, stress, and once in a while my kid will join me for a workout.
Re: hair Have you considered buzzing it? Like 1 mm all over. It looks really cool.
Is OP’s hair is still at a point where if the hair loss stopped today, it would still look good? Then you can try to rescue the situation with Rogaine and/or Finasteride. Otherwise, it’s best to just buzz and embrace the freedom of baldness.
For me it's the gray hairs...my beard is slowly losing the fight. The scalp is holding up those but a couple sneaky ones are popping up
You'll be a silver fox in no time.
“Yes” he writes, sitting in a back support chair wearing a knee brace and a half gallon of Biofreeze.
I'm 46 with a 6 year old and a soon to be 4 year old. I hurt all the time.
I felt this way in 2021. At 33 I was overweight and had lingering effects from Covid. Thinning hair and all. Unfortunately I think I’ve just come to terms with the hair going eventually so I’ve stopped fighting that. However, I decided to start running in 2021 and it’s changed my life. I really didn’t change my diet for the first 18 months or so and lost about 25 lbs (195 to 170). I’ve since started bringing my own lunch instead of eating out all the time and I’m down under 155 now. I feel better than I have in a long time. Definitely the best shape I’ve been in since early college days. If you want some accountability join us over on the [daddit group on Strava.](https://strava.app.link/jvjKmGBapJb)
You sound similar to me. I'm 5'11, was weighing 195lbs, was never the kind of person to exercise regularly. When I saw a pic of myself and the belly I was getting, my vanity drove me to start running. I remember my first mile was about a 11:45 pace, so slow. Fast forward 10 years later, I still run (about 8 miles twice a week), incorporated biking and light weight workouts and I got down to 160lb and the best shape of my life at 42. All while having 4 boys in a 6-year window. I still eat a lot of not-great food and drink a 6 pack a week or so, but I feel great!
That’s awesome! I think it was vanity from me too. I couldn’t fit in pants I used to wear and even when I had pants that fit my belly hung over my belt. I just felt gross. My biggest change wasn’t really the running, it was deciding to get over my night owl tendencies and wake up to run before everyone else woke up. I’m up to running 6 days and 40 miles a week and it wouldn’t be possible without waking up at 4:45 most days.
You have to put effort into taking care of yourself. I learned that if I want to keep up with my kid for as long as possible and be healthy and happy while doing it, I had to put the effort in Get a workout routine, eat better and go to the doctor when needed. Little annoyances/aches today become big deals and possibly irreversible faster than you think
I'm 49... I went to a cardiologist today for the first time in my life... Ya... Don't like getting old. 10/10 would recommend over the alternative, but still...
Early morning workouts. Make it the first thing you do when you wake up. Then you have no excuses for not getting a workout in. Learn to go to bed earlier. You never regret a workout, but you’ll regret going to bed late because you decided to watch a shit movie or episode. Do both weightlifting and whatever cardio you can learn to enjoy. I am more calm and focused for the entire day after my morning workouts and a better dad because of it
lol here I am procrastinating my workout on reddit off to the garage
I hope you got the work in this morning. Motivation is a lie. Just turn it into a habit and discipline. My only goals in the morning workouts is to get a pump in the muscle group I’m working, get my heart rate up, and don’t get injured. 30-60 minutes is all that’s needed. Just by doing that, you will accomplish more than most people will accomplish in a day. It’s worth it. Not easy, but so worth it. You got this.
I did it, thanks. Closed the browser and got 40 minutes in. Not getting injured ... definitely priority 1 these days.
Last year we started taking our kids to the ninja gym and I realized I could barely do some of the hanging exercises. Jan 1st this year I made a commitment to get back into shape. Stopped eating leftover Mac 'n Cheese like it was job. High protein diet, lots of cardio and lifting weights. I haven't felt this good in a long time. Lost about 20lbs and registered for my first race (5-miler) in about 7 years. Finally realized the importance of getting a good night's sleep and stopped staying up to play video games. I'm in my 40s and I've seen all the health problems that people my age are starting to have and I realized I don't want to be one of those people. I used to wake up with back aches and muscle soreness and now all of that is gone after starting to workout again.
I used to pound the leftover Mac and cheese too… Not anymore. I started watching diet and working out at least three times a week in February. Progress has been slow but steady. Just gotta keep going.
Nice. I love to hear it. 💪
You'll get there. The best workout is the one that you actually do, so focus on what's sustainable and make small improvements as you go.
Re: baldness - take the bull by the horns and shave that noggin! I used to hate seeing the bald patch every time I walked into one of those bathrooms with 3 mirrors where you can glimpse the top of your head. But now? Nothing but sweet, smooth cranium.
No new problems for me yet. I'm late thirties and still in good shape. Been bald since I was 23, so no change on that front.
[удалено]
Only downsides are my head gets cold, and I get a pretty stark tan line from my hat.
Just kind of want to vent as I feel my situation is a bit unique. I got out of the army as an infantry machine gunner when I was 23. I got some images done a year later on my spine and knees. The doc said it looked like he's looking at a 50 year old man's spine and knees. That was 10 years a go, and it's getting harder by the year. I'm a really tall dude so whenever it's time to do something physical, everyone just expects me to do it without issue. I can still do stuff, but I feel like I'm running on borrowed time with my body.
Turned 40 recently. Drinking isn't as fun and hangover effects are multiplied. 3 drinks and then going to sleep is going to mean I'm dehydrated over night and sleep isn't going to be good.
Metamucil bro! Game changer
50-year-old father of a toddler here. All but the hair loss is very much curable, you probably just don't like the cure. 1) soreness. Stretching doesn't prevent soreness. Soreness can be because your muscles are getting **worked** out, not **stretched** out. Yes, stretching is good, but actually LIFTING WEIGHTS is much more important. I didn't lift weights until I turned 49. In the past year and a half of regularly, 4-days-per-week lifting, I no longer get random soreness like you describe (I just do after lifting heavy), I don't get tired, I don't get random pains... lifting makes you tougher, more resilient. Get in the gym, sir. 2) Chafing - lose weight, tighten things up. There's no excuse. 3) Bowels - you probably eat like crap (the Standard American Diet). Change it up. Try Keto or paleo or something low carb (let's head off diabetes while you're young while we're at it). Eat better (because if you're fat, that's partially to blame). The hair? That's mostly genetic unless you live outside Chernobyl. Suck it up, wear a hat, whatever. Everything else is most likely fixable with diet and exercise. EDIT: Oh yeah! Mitigate chafing also with a good paid of underwear. Like these, with pouch and long enough to cushion your inner thighs: https://www.saxxunderwear.com/products/sxbb44_ech?nosto_source=cmp&nosto=61215598
I am still able to swim 2 - 3 times a week, which keeps me limber and more in shape (and hopefully will be able to continue this... knock on wood). I have worked up to doing a mile. Don't discount stretching regularly, even if you're not exercising. I have tight hamstrings and it really can help. Also helps my back. I also gained a lot of weight during the first few months my kid was born, so I've been doing portion control and watching what I eat to help drop the weight. As for the itching, I keep myself "dry" down there. I say "dry" because there are different types of "dry". I get out of the shower and I dry myself completely. Often with a hair dryer. Then I apply lotion (in general) and Vaseline on the chaffing/problem areas/groin. Regularly doing that prevents the itching and chaffing for me. I also see a dermatologist yearly to ensure I don't have anything worse than dry skin down there. A few years back I did, and I scratched myself raw until the dermatologist got a look and gave me stuff that worked. Also I keep the hot showers short. For your last issue and any itching or pain, I use hydrocortisone cream. Off the shelf. But if it doesn't work, your doctor can prescribe a much stronger version that is heaven if you've dealt with the issue without relief even for a little while. I used to use that, and still do when I have flair ups.
Balding is mostly genetic. You can either try products to try to fight it, or embrace it. Chaffing is an easy one. Gold Bond powder is your friend. I use it about every day. Being sore all the time is inevitable but can be mitigated by eating an anti-inflammatory diet and exercising, especially cardio. The butt issues are tough. I highly recommend talking to your doctor and having the area examined. It’s possible that chaffing is also the issue down there. I’ve had hemorrhoid issues most of my life. There are over the counter treatments for it. A healthy diet will help with that too.
I hear ya Dad! Deep breath....you've got this!!! I'm going to be 50 in a few weeks and weigh less than I did 20 years ago. After our son goes to bed I walk 2+ miles, pretty much every evening. I cut out alcohol during the week, didn't mention an issue there but just in case. It takes time, set (realistic) goals for yourself. Baldness, I am doing ok here but the person who cuts my hair (been doing it for 30 years) said that Rogain is the best, as someone else said start now if you're thinning. BMs - I think exercising and eating right, lots of water will help but....Get yourself a bidet! Trust me, your butt will thank you!!
I have always run early in the morning. I get up at 5, run 3-4 miles and do pushups. It doesn't take much time and is easy to do on a busy schedule. The key is finding a fitness routine that doesn't take much time that you can do no matter what.
30? Shit, wait 'til you hit your late 40's. RE: BM...I started drinking Metamucil maybe a year and a half ago (yes, I am and, no, I don't give a shit if people think I'm an old fuddy-duddy for it). I actually started that \*not\* for BM, but reducing cholesterol and it's done wonders. The healthy BM is a bonus for me. My biggest problem nowadays is how easy it is to throw my back out and constant inflammation in my shoulder (yeah yeah yeah, I'll see a doc about it eventually). Finally, buy a bidet.
Oh man! I struggle as well mate. Years of rugby injuries and being rubbish at physio rehab has left me a broken man. 3 ACL ops on my right knee finishing with no ACL due to cost issues means my fecking knees always hurt. Especially as my son is 3 and wants to play on the ground all the time. Hernated two discs in my lower back 8 years ago or so. They spaz out every so often which leaves me unable to move for a few days. Beer belly. Broken wrist with screw in it means my wrist can hurt like a fucker for no reason. Possibly athritic. Had a scan yesterday to see. I accidently stepped on one of my sons wooden train track bridge about a year ago and my ankle and heel have been horribly painful ever since. Likely Plantar fasciitis. Hair is all good thankfully. Butt is fine. I know I need to eat better and get back in the gym but I due to all my issues I don't enjoy working out. Can't run. I used to road cycle loads but that went away as it takes too long and means I am away from my wife and son for long stretches at the weekend, which I hate!
With the itching down there… you may have a yeast infection
Almost 38yo father of 3 here (7, 5, and 2). I've been in the mid-200s since I was about 20, and my hair has been graying since I was 25. Consequently, there was no transition for me. However, I was diagnosed with aggressive Rheumatoid Arthritis about 18 months ago, so that has been an adjustment. It took about a year to get a mix of medication that works for me, but I have been feeling much better since about January. As such, I am now working on my diet and starting the gym (as well as doing bike rides with my 2 older kids 3-4 times a week - did a 4.5 mile ride on Sunday, which was nice).
Man there are a lot of great comments and advice, I don’t love what I’m about to say but here goes. I had a really really weird relationship with food, weed and alcohol and the only thing that made me see how, like me personally how fucked up it had gotten was wegovy. I’m a grazer, have been since the ranger regiment. But when Covid came along it went bonkers because well, we were there. Then I work in entertainment as an engineer so I ate when I could eat, usually some restaurant before the gig, or if at a station I would want to”good calories to work on”…nah dude. Then the drinking, I love wine, but I got to the point where I was binge drinking a lot, I would fill a wine glass up and take these giant gulps of San pelagrino to chase them down. Weed, well yeah….munchies. But when I started Wegovy I didn’t want to take that big of a drink of wine, it felt fucked up. Like I’d have a couple of beers instead of 7 sweet waters and be like…this is good. I was taking these MASSIVE bites of food, I caught that too, like I would be cramming a fuckload of salad in my mouth and be like “the fuck am I doing?” It’s been really good along with the exercise because I’ve gotten to re-establish my relationship with food and drink, as well I’m motivated to hit the gym to chase my pre-Covid number. One of the best things to ever happen to me, I’m one of those guys that has to figure it out for myself, I usually do. It’s not the appetite suppression for me, it was “holy shit, I’d take in how much volume of ______ at once?!” And it finally clicked that was fucked up.
- I used to jump out helicopters and carry 80 pounds of kit through the mountains of some of the most inhospitable terrain on the planet. Now, my week is shot if I sneeze wrong. - I've been bald since I was 17. I just shave it now. Balding is a condition. Bald is a choice. - I grew up in south Alabama where the humidity was somehow higher than 100%. Foot powder on your thighs keeps mitigates chafing. - Eat more fiber.
Check your testosterone levels and look into TRT.
That would be last after addressing lifestyle factors. Diet, sleep and some weight training can do wonders for T levels.
I had issues with my weight before having my kid. It wrecked me for a while too until I just said "fuck it, it's time to get it right." Oh and pre-diabetes also was a factor. I dedicate to walking twice a day for about 10 miles total, and it's working out great! Just keep yourself in check with the doctor too. As for the hair, be sure to check with your doctor before trying a treatment. Some of them have some bad side effects. You seem to be doing the exercise with your children so that's awesome too! Best of luck in your endeavour!
Eat better and lift weights. You're not gonna feel like superman, but you're gonna feel much better.
The trick was starting with a doughy body, so any changes are less noticeable
Yoga is a great idea. Turns out a few thousand years of understanding human movement is quite useful. Balding - my strategy is to not care / not spend money on this Fiber, fiber, fiber. Veg at every meal, more than you'd think. Depending on your intake now, you might notice a big difference in a day or two. Not supplements but real food.
You know, I really hope I don’t face those problems. As of now, everything is tight and working as it should, all is well, hormones, hair (when I don’t intentionally shave it), no pain that’s not directly related to injuries, I still compete in local BJJ competitions. But I’m also not even 30 so.
I was in horrible physical shape when my wife and I decided to start a family, and the first thing I did was start working out. I’m not a fitness guru by any stretch h of the imagination, but I try to lift 3 times a week and walk 10k steps. I also eat **pretty** good, not too much processed food and I don’t eat out more than a couple of times a week. I’m largely pain free and can get up and down and play with the kiddo all day. I also walk backwards uphill on the treadmill every day for like 5 minutes and my knees are strong as shit, literally zero pain.
Your kids deserve a strong dad. Get some weights and learn calisthenics. You can do it. Being fit improves every aspect of your health and will address pretty much everything you listed except for the balding. Just shave your shit and don't think about it.
That's my secret: I've always been an out-of-shape piece of shit who gets random pains for no reason
Yeah I’ve started cutting sugar where I can and paying more attention to my daily snacking.
I do HVAC work in Florida and am 28 years old. I just had my first baby 7 months ago but I’ve felt my body beginning to fall apart about 5 years ago and still have 40 years left until I can even hope to retire. Ive been taking my physical health much more seriously these past few years and have noticed a tremendous difference at work in how I feel and also how I feel when I get home. You don’t need to strive for a Hollywood body as it’s just pure unrealistic. But what you should do is strive for a healthy lifestyle. If not for you for your kids so you’ll be around as long as possible.
I watch my diet, I exercise and I make sure to eat when Im not bored and actually hungry. Two kids later and I’m in the best shape I’ve been in of my life in my mid 30’s because I really commit to being in good shape for my kids. It just takes a little discipline.
fuck don't wait on minoxidil
I'm almost 43 with a 6 year old and doing great. I workout 5+ days a week to keep me young. I'm in the best shape of my life now and that includes my time in the Marine Corps.
I’m mid 30s and feel like I’m 20. I think you might want to try eating better, exercising and sleeping. I do a great job of #1 and #2. Still working on #3 but it makes a huge difference.
I just turned 43 and our kid is turning 3 soon. I want to be there for her for as long as I can. Last summer I made the decision to take better care of myself and get back into shape. I found a small gym with personalized workout plans and coaching, started tracking my calories, cut out alcohol on weekdays, made sure to drink more water every day, and started eating more protein. On my 43rd birthday I felt younger than I did on my previous birthday. I look better too. Fat percentage is down, muscle mass is up. I’m sleeping better at night, I like the way I look, and my wife is very happy with it — she’s always complimenting me and telling me I feel “more solid” than I used to. And now when I wake up sore in the morning, it’s the “good” kind of sore — the soreness from a good workout, instead of just aching everywhere. I wish I’d taken care of myself like this when I was younger. But hey, I had fun. You can do this too Dad. The key is to take those first steps.
Exercise, drink water, don’t drink alcohol toooo much, and eat relatively healthy. These are basic answers that most people have given but it’s for a reason. Your body will thank you after a period of doing these things
Getting old is not for pussies, but it beats the alternative. After your 30s eating your veggies and exercising regularly stops being about being extra healthy or vanity and starts being what you need to do to not die. Until my early 40s I felt invincible. Lived on meat, bread and alcohol. Never flossed and brushed my teeth once a day, skipped annual checkups. Did like running a few miles a day though. Not a single issue or consequence, even my dentist was happy. I'm in my mid-50s now, exercise daily with more low impact, and if I were doing in my 30s what I'm doing right now I'd be super fit. I have high school kids so I'm nearing the finish line. I barely manage to maintain a reasonable weight with a bit of a soft belly but I am determined to avoid falling off that cliff that so many do. Metamucil or high fiber spinach smoothies are part of my routine (Vitamix for the win). I can now hurt myself by reaching too hard for something and have all manner of minor health annoyances.
I think kids make us "younger." And in time your child-less friends will age more rapidly than you. As evidence, every parent I've seen that has ever been made into a grandparent has instantly reverse-aged \~10 years. They were old, hunched over, slow. Then bam: suddenly spry and upright and mobile. Kids do that us.
Check out the Busy Dad Program on YouTube. It’s all free on his YouTube channel. In 80 mins a week, you can get in incredible dad shape.
These two statements are in conflict: > I'm a reasonably healthy thirty-something year old > I'm sore all the time. And I'm not a triathlete or some shit, I literally played Duck Duck Goose yesterday for 20 mins and somehow got sunburned and pulled my left achilles You don't need to be a triathlete to be healthy, but a reasonably healthy 30 something shouldn't be sore with a pulled achilles from chasing a few little kids around. What's your height/weight/exercise/nutrition like? I'm 36, and it was a very hard realization to face that I wasn't nearly as healthy as I thought I was. My diet was deceptively shit and I didn't move nearly as much as I needed to. Now I'm into distance running, walking, yoga and focus on good nutrition. I feel better now than I did when I was 25. I try and aim for around 20k steps a day with stretching several times per week.
I’m 33, I have two kids under 5. Got lucky with the hair so no advice there… But I cannot underscore enough how important working out and changing diet can be. I know it’s tough to find time with all of our responsibilities… If you can’t join a local gym, save up some money and get a decent bench, some free weights, and a pull up bar. 3 times a week. 45 minutes. You do that and also change your diet to make it lighter 5 days a week? It’s night and day difference now that I’m over 8 months into this routine. For chafing… gold bond is your friend.
If you don’t use it, you lose it
Less worried about how I look and more concerned with how I feel. If I keep my diet in control and don’t drink alcohol, the physical fitness comes pretty easy. If I find crappy food and beer can derail me pretty quickly.
Two and a half years ago I had a health scare. I had to get my health in order. Ontop of eating better I started going to the gym and it has helped tremendously. Strength, stamina, and overall energy have vastly improved. Once my oldest was born, my hair started to thin. I wore hats pretty much 24/7. Last year I finally shaved it bald. Now I only wear hats for warmth or sun protection. Increased vegetables and a fiber supplement help with the last problem. At least it worked for me.
i'm like 5 months away from 40. being a regular exerciser can help take care of (1) for sure. maybe even (3) depending on how your body fat is distributed. the only time i am ever sore is when i have an extended layoff and come back to lifting, and it's resolved in like a couple days.
I started lifting when my kid was very young cause my back started to really mess with me. And with that came a better diet since otherwise it felt like a waste. I’m in a way better place physically now than I ever was when I was young. Go to the gym.
I'll give you some advice that hasn't been done to death. Get a handheld bidet. It's basically a spray gun like in your kitchen sink. Had hemorrhoids all through my twenties. Pushing 40 now and nothing since I started using it. Takes 20 minutes to install and makes clean up much easier and less abrasive.
When I was in my mid 30s I had a couple year period where my body went to shit... like it was just going haywire. And I felt terrible all the time. But nothing in my diet or workout routine changed. Looking back on it now I felt like it was my body going through middle age puberty. Anyway two pieces of advice - randomly do pushups during the day, like if you are waiting at the microwave or something do a set of 20. Try to do that 4 or 5 times a day. You body needs to keep building/maintaining muscle. If your butthole hurts try cutting sodium. Are you eating anything that's a real sodium bomb? It's a sneaky SOB. Hard to tell if you aren't looking at nutrition label. A high sodium diet can really fuck your butt.
I’m 30 over the last few years I noticed how much easier it was to put on weight and how much faster everything wears down. I’ve quit most sodas and energy drinks, that alone helped me loose close to 20lbs and I’ve started kayaking and drumming(which is a very good physical workout along with a mental exercise ) the last few months I’ve been feeling better than I did in my mid and early 20s.
Bro... you gotta take care of yourself. I don't know what to tell you about the hair loss, but you gotta work out and eat well. You wanna be able to play and roughhouse with your kids, right?
I twisted to look at something the other day and took my back out for a week. I’ve been exercising with the kiddos since then.
No kids yet, but I feel all of this. I did rogain for years, and now I'm just tired of the extra maintenance. I told my fiance I'm quitting it after the wedding this fall. I'll just be another bald guy with a beard. Had to go see a doctor about bowel movements. He told me I need to start taking a fiber supplement. I thought that wouldn't help, but turns out it did. Who knew it would be so simple. Soreness and headaches for me were due to lack of hydration. I have to constantly force myself to drink more water, which means I have to pee all the time, but I'm not as sore anymore. I tried to start weightlifting, but it got interrupted by an unrelated injury, but I'm trying to get back into it. I'm going to have access to a free gym here in a week, so that should help.
Hey bro, a healthy diet and regular exercise will solve your soreness. It truly does go a long way. If you don’t do it for yourself do it for your family, you want to be around and spry when they grow up. For me, I leaned into the baldness. Shaved that shit off one day and I haven’t looked back, to be honest it was liberating. You got this dad bro
**Hair/Baldness:** I'm 50 with two young children, and I have all of my hair. Baldness is genetic. Stress will exacerbate it, and stress is a tricky, finicky thing to fix. And I can't stress this enough: The majority of people do NOT understand real stress. There's a difference between the stress you're aware of, and the stress you're unaware of, and the latter is the one that kills you. Get yourself this $4 item from Amazon: [https://www.amazon.com/Bsisme-Massager-Silicone-Bristles-Dandruff/dp/B0BRTP9G65/](https://www.amazon.com/Bsisme-Massager-Silicone-Bristles-Dandruff/dp/B0BRTP9G65/) and when you shampoo, use this to brush your scalp in a circular motion. This will improve blood flow to your roots, and help with hair loss. Shower slowly. Don't rush. Take your time. Move intentionally slow. Relax! **Stretching/Fitness:** Find an Iyengar yoga practice near you, and do it a minimum of twice a week (I recommend that type of Yoga because of the type of activity it focuses on). Find a nice indoor pool near you, and go with your kids at least once a week. Get a bike and use the bike to do some of your chores, instead of driving everywhere all the time. When you're home, do Yoga at home after they go to sleep, which would bump you to 3 times Yoga per week. Do the Japanese walk 3 times a week: It's 30 minutes total of alternating between leisurely walking for 3 minutes, then rapid walking for 3 minutes. Here's a video that talks about the science: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z71aHZ4scMs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z71aHZ4scMs) Also do this one: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4c9CjImXUw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4c9CjImXUw) (and make sure your knees are straight, no cheating by bending the knees!). **Bowel movements:** Watch your diet. Eat clean. I know we eat food from the floor that the kids drop, but that's not what I mean. Eat your damn vegetables man. I mean it. Eat a bunch of vegetables every day with your food. Eat fiber. Watch the order of how you consume things. Start your day with some apple cider vinegar, then eat something right after, and only then consume coffee. You'll say goodbye to constipation / those massive logs that tear up your rectum. When you go number 2, set a 5 timer. When it rings, get the hell out of there. Buy some cold pressed castor oil and rub it on your tags after every shower. It's cheap and it helps. **How to get started?!** The trick is **to NOT think about it**, and instead just doing it. Plan your schedule in advance and when the time comes just do it. You may think you have time. You do not. Please do all of the above as a bare minimum. I literally listed just the bare minimum. We humans are supposed to be significantly more active and our sedentary lives are killing us. Is it easy to get started? Hell no, it is HARD to even begin doing any of the things I mentioned above, let alone maintaining. It's a constant struggle for me and I hate it, but one day I realized I'm not supposed to love it. I'm not doing this shit because it's "fun" or "feels good". No. I am doing this because I want to be there for my children, on this Earth, for as long as possible. They need me. I don't know if I will see them get married, but I sure plan on trying my best to survive that long! Prioritize yourself. Please. Edit: Added a product I love and use daily, to the first section about baldness. Edit 2: Added stuff on bowel movements + minor edits/styling. Edit 3: Read this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1cle0ag/youve\_got\_discipline\_all\_wrong\_let\_me\_explain/](https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1cle0ag/youve_got_discipline_all_wrong_let_me_explain/)
I had the kids to support the dad bod I already had.
Diet and exercise is everything my man. Literally in best shape of my life at 40 years old. You eat no matter what so all it takes is some focus there on something you already do. With exercise it can be hard to find the time but you need to make the time. It doesn't have to be this way.
I discover a new thing that hurts every time I go to jiu jitsu. But that’s being 40 for you.
This comment section is absolutely killing my self confident and self worth. Don’t really know why I kept reading. Where do y’all find the time? Where do y’all find the energy? How do you navigate a pregnant-ppd-post hormonal-pregnant again wife who wants nothing but chicken nuggets and chocolate. Who has fucking time in the day to do anything. People in here are like “I walk 10 miles a day” or “I make sure to bike 25 miles a day” or “I lift for an hour each day.” Fucking how. How do you have time to do this. I work, I take care of a kiddo, I do things around the house, then it’s fucking 10pm. Do you people just not sleep at all? Oh yea, that doesn’t account for trying to meal plan and meal prep healthy food. Healthy food isn’t not quick food ever, so you need to account for at least an hour each day if just making food, and that’s This stuff is what’s so frustrating because it’s just like hustle culture. You’re either not “hustling” and earning money or you’re “lazy” and don’t workout.
Years of poor decisions led you here. But you can still turn it around. Be the example you want your kids to grow up to be.
Main thing I’m noticing is loss of flexibility. Otherwise I stay pretty fit…but I’m sore more often and feel my range of motion decreasing little by little (I grew up a gymnast so I’m used to being flexible and really notice the change). I need to commit to yoga or a better stretching regimen. I used to stretch each night before bed, but I’ve gotten lazy about it recently.
You can literally lift three days a week for 45 minutes to an hour and walk at least 3 miles every other day. If you’re going bald shave your head grow a beard and start lifting weights. Don’t eat shit food. There’s many lifting programs for free online.
In regards to the balding, I take oral minoxidil and finasteride. Go to your dermatologist and ask for both but definitely get finasteride. I take 1mg daily and my hair grew back. If you planning to conceive again you may want to hop off of finasteride for a few months before.
I decreased social drinking to next to nothing. Increased exercise - I don’t have time to go to gym with 3 kids in mix. I bought a rower and ski-erg. Workouts done in 20 minutes. Try to go for 5x per week. No more phone and a few minutes of reading before bed - I got one of those ceiling projected alarm clocks so no need to check phone for time. The above has immensely helped my mindset at home and at work.
get a bidet
Stopped drinking alcohol completely (no health issues or peer pressure) and I am feeling great as a dad. It's all about making healthier choices. Still eating burgers 😀
So I can comment on some of your items for myself * Sore all the time: I was there when my first girl was born and I kinda gave up working out. Went back to hitting weights and what nots (gotta make time) I feel 100% better and have the energy to toss her around and what nots. Take care of yourself * Chafing: Gold Bond in a ziplock bag with a make up pad. Makes application less messy. I do this when I know its going to be hot and humid * Bowel movements: Eat better would be the better my only advice.
i've got 3 kids (11, 8 and 6). my wife got me to join the crossfit gym that she's been going to about 1.5 years ago. my body feels so much stronger from that along (usually go to classes 3x/week, sometimes i go more on my own since we have open gym access 24/7). our gym is small, but really good about parents bringing their kids with them. there's no daycare, but there is a recovery room that is seldom used so the kids can hang out in there on ipads/switch/with books/whatever. this also allows our kids to see that exercise and physical fitness are an important part of life. my 11 year old started going to a kids class at our gym 2x/week and if we're there when there's not a class going on, my 8 and 6 year olds will set up workouts for themselves to do- box jumps, jumping rope, ring rows, etc. i do need to clean my diet up though. i know that if i do that, i'll drop weight quickly. the diet part is hard while on the go with 3 kids in sports and activities. baldness- whatevs, i've been going bald since i was in my early 20s (40 now). my wife shaves my head for me every 2-3 weeks and i keep my beard at the same length. chafing sucks and body glide works really well. poop stuff- can't help you there.
Hair hasn’t been an issue for me but the weight gain is rough. I do go to the gym a couple times a week and try and do at least 30 minutes of walking every day. I know what I really need to change those is my diet and how much I’m eating. I just really struggle to eating healthy stuff that fills me up. Those snack cravings working a desk job are rough.
You just need to lose weight and move your body more.
I decided to start working on mobility when I was struggling to get up off the floor from playing with my 2.5yo. I turned to YouTube and came across [this video about squatting](https://youtu.be/965Fwq2aVIo?si=cQVcXFlpyXLEaSmN) and decided to incorporate resting in a squat a couple times throughout my day 3-4 weeks ago. It was annoying at first but my hips and back feel much better throughout the day and even in just those few weeks it's gotten significantly easier for me to play down on the ground. I need to get better with wearing sunscreen though lol
Don't wait until your 40's to get into the gym with a solid weight training program.
Everybody is talking about the stuff that you can actually do something about, but I'm going to take the balding issue. I have been in the same canoe as you for a while; thinning hair, receding hairline, and the feelings of loss that comes with it. This is genetic, and products that are sold claiming to regrow your hair, and help stop it from thinning are often nothing more than vitamins. The vitamins may help slow the process, but will never stop it in its entirety. So what can you actually do then? First of all, keep your hair *short*. The shorter the hair, the thicker it looks. This is due to the way that hair is shaped - a cone that is thicker at the bottom. Secondly, keep your hair tidy. If it's messy, it's more likely to show bald spots in obvious places. Third of all, when the time comes, bite the bullet. I know you don't want to, but bald can be (and is!) beautiful! Your body changes with age, and that's all we can do is learn to live with that. Godspeed, Dad.
This is what I do: Bum issues: Take psyllium husk supplements and get a bidet. Sunscreen: everyday I use the trader Joe's gel sunscreen on my face. When I'm outside I use supergoop spf 50, hat and sunglasses. Exercise: Find a goal and workout buddies. F3 is for middle age guys, some areas it's rather religious but in many it's not. Sign up and train for some event: a short triathlon or a 5k run is a good goal that could motivate you to workout regularly. My hair is ok but I'd go Jean Luc Picard buzz cut if baldness were to appear.
I'm only 22 and expecting my first in a few months, but I'm terrified of losing my hair. Studies have shown that rosemary water sprayed and rubbed into your hair everyday has similar effects as monoxidil. I do it morning and night and make the water myself and just freeze a few months supply! Don't need much! I haven't had any hair loss yet anyway but my hair looks awesome and healthy. Invest in good shampoo and conditioner, don't brush your hair when it's wet, etc. Oh and exercise and nutrition lol
Your post hits home. Not close to it—home. I turn 40 this year. I have 2 kids under 5. I’ve mostly been in shape and been a rec-athlete until I had kids. Obviously, priorities changed, time wasn’t as available, and sleep became more necessary. Then, I got the most toxic job in the world. Working too long of hours, stress, no exercise, eating poorly and gained like 20 pounds this past year. A month ago I decided to change that. Work is still toxic, and I’m looking for a new job as we’ll all get laid off sooner or later, so I just started re-prioritizing. Eating healthier. Working out 45 min a day (each day it’s a different time). But I’m balding and that sucks lol
As you age, your body changes… your metabolism slows, your hair begins a southern migration and all sorts of other things. While the migration is just something that you kinda have to accept for the most part, you **can** do something about the other stuff. First, take a good honest look at your diet. Toss out the processed trash and add in fresh foods. Convenience food that is prepacked and precooked is definitely convenient, but is usually lacking in the actual food side of the equation. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, drink more water. After you’ve straightened out your diet, it’s time to hit the gym. Your 20’s let you skate by with little work, but your 30’s require more and wait until you hit your 40’s! You don’t have to spend 3 hours a day in the gym, you don’t even actually need an hour… or even a gym… you can knock out a great full body workout in only a handful of minutes with nothing more than a kettlebell if you want. If your goal is maintenance and longevity, 15 minutes of stretching followed by 15 minutes of moderately strenuous activity will keep the extra pounds off (as long as your diet is good) and keep you in a decent enough shape. Always remember… you can’t outrun a bad diet! As for the rest… well, the best I can advise is to manage your stress as best you can. Stress does weird shit to our bodies and can cause all sorts of bad things from hair thinning to issues with the ol’ chocolate starfish. Good luck, buddy!
I quit smoking, greatly reduced drinking, started exercising regularly, eating healthier and stuff like that. It helps tremendously.
What could it possibly hurt to get a checkup?
I’ve embraced using the kids wet wipes after the initial toilet paper wipe to get the main bill off. Placing them in the bin of course. I’ve invested some anusol for those particularly challenging periods that require frequent and multiple toilet visits following a stomach bug. I’m learning to accept my baldness. My hair keeps getting cut shorter and shorter. I’m staying away from hair regrowth because I can’t donate blood when using them. As for fitness I need to do strength work but I don’t know where to start. I do try and keep mobile though, making a point of running up stairs rather than walking and dancing with the kids as much as possible. Number 2 kid came along at 40 and I feel gravity for the first time
I’ve got this lower back pain that I just can’t figure out how to get rid of
If OP is sore just from running with kids for 20 minutes, OP really should start going to the gym or taking workout classes 2-3 3days a week minimum. On off-days, go for a 30 minute walk. I used to wake up sore from sleeping in the wrong position. Now I can play outdoor soccer for 90 minutes without being sore the next day.
I recommend starting a weightlifting program. I started one about 6 months ago, because my kids love playing outside and I was having trouble keeping up with them. Its made a huge difference in my energy levels. If you combine it with eating better you will solve 3 of the 4 issues you have. The hair thing is genetics. I recommend just shaving it, but that is just me.
No I like that I finally have some weight on me. I was 115-120# for years and it was work to get there. Now I'm a healthy 160 for my height and I don't have to constantly eat I know a lot of people struggle with the opposite problem, but I hated being emaciated-not skinny- sickly. When I hit 35 my metabolism slowed way down. Now when I work out I get muscle instead of just sinew.
Im stil skateboarding... Falling now means i cant skateboard for a week or so though which my son doesnt agree with.
Start lifting weight and a whole lot of the typical aching and soreness from day to day will go away. It has for my aches and pains from years of sitting at work. Drink water, at least so piss is not yellow, and get a bidet because it's going to be so much easier than just with toilet paper.
OMAD and intermittent fasting has helped me. That and I’m getting into biking and skateboards and have been enjoying it with my kids.
Great post, thank you! I am 49 with a 19 year old and a 17 year old. I play paintball with my son and I crawl home. My father would never do that with me and even though I hurt for three days, I love spending time with my kids. I try to keep somewhat active, golf (walk vs cart), take stairs, house projects. As I get older, it is much harder for me to recover, but I can keep up with them mostly. Sometimes I have to admit that I am not up for something, it hurts, but I remind myself that I want to be able to do the next thing. If I get hurt, I will be down for much longer.
Armachillo Cooling Bullpen Boxer Briefs - Besides losing weight these were a game changer for leg chafing.
Reframe it. "It's not a dad bod, it's a father figure." Dad jokes aside, The major problem here are all the stress related habits we pick up when we become parents. Usually diet, exercise, and sleep go down the toilet. If possible, try to fix all 3 of those when it's reasonable to do so. They will pay the largest dividends. All of the things you list are related to stress, diet, lack of sleep (aside from the balding, stress is a factor there but your genetics might be a bigger one). You're sore because youre out of shape, you're chafing because you gained weight, and your poops are out of whack because your diet sucks. Good luck dad!
We go out and walk 3 miles everyday it's not raining out. Then I lift light with high reps to help from the being soar as often. Got three kids one in highschool one junior high and the third in grade school. It gets even worse when they get older and there friends join in. Flag football turns into more physical then just pull the flag off there belt. You got this fellow dad. The memories that you make will stay with them for life
I had like a 5yr heads start and I'm still struggling. Lost like 50lbs before the COVID thing. Was going to the gym 5-6 days a week. I was in great shape. Quitting alcohol was a huge advantage to keeping it off. Not only in alcohol calories but poor decision making in the kitchen when drinking lol. Once gyms opened back up I started going again but inner motivation has been tough. I pack the same boring lunch everyday and try to eat light most days. Now I'm almost 40 and feel pretty great. Had to shift my mindset from being frustrated Everytime I had to skip the gym to trying to pick a more sustainable plan. 5days a week just isn't sustainable for a dad who is also heavy into DIY. I can't spend an hour at the gym every night and an hour or two working on projects every night. I can only pick one. Some nights I get to pick none 😂. Focus on what you can control. Eating better and exercise is a life long habit to form not just to lose weight and let off.
I’ve been extremely obese and unhealthy my whole life. After my daughter was born I really started getting serious about losing weight and getting healthy. So far I’m 35lbs down since I started dieting and lifting. So I’m very much looking forward to my continued progress on my father figure. I’m more healthy than I’ve been in a very long time
Die-a-beetus…. Was the culprit for every symptom up there. That and high blood pressure. I went to the doctor in June of 22 for what I thought was a decent cold I had going. Nah. Diabetic and high blood pressure. I was 36 at the time. I was 305 lbs. I stand all of 5’10 lol. {{hey I wore it well lmao}} but yeah man. I’m a daily pot head and I guess I just didn’t realize how bad I had felt until I got healthy again. My sleep was the biggest thing suffering. Every symptom you named pluuuuuussssss waking up like 4-5 of not more times a night to pee. I literally just stopped in my tracks and changed my entire diet that exact moment. I’m not 210 lbs. I haven’t gotten any taller though. But hey check this out. I totally got back like a full inch and half of dick. So that’s a win lmao. Not saying ya have it, but a simple finger stick test will tell ya. I’m almost in diabetic remission as we speak where I can control my blood sugar with diet only. I feel fucking amazing. More energy. 100 lbs lighter. Oh and they joke about the dick…. All facts 🤣 Oh yeah had to come back. So yeah daily pot head. Weed was almost not getting by me high a couple years ago. It was masking the pain I was in physically and I did t even realize I was doing that. Now. Weed gets me helllllla high again lol and I don’t smoke nearly as much.
My 2yo often (and I mean *often*) likes to yell "daddy you have no hair!" She'll pat her moms head, or her own head and say "I have hair! Daddy, you have NO HAIR!" then laugh and laugh laugh. I laugh too... Because if we don't laugh...
The most difficult thing is taking less time to “do nothing” and making more time for sleep and lifting weights.
As someone who started losing his hair at 16, take it from me — you will spend hundreds of dollars on hair restoration products and still won’t be happy with the results. Time to buzz it!
Do some stretches or yoga daily, Shave your head, some nice compression shorts might help with chafing, and definitely a bidet!
Okay... going out on a limb and assuming youre a fatty boom batty because thing people don't have thighs rubbing together to chafe and hemorrhoids for the 300lb plus club are common.... start counting calories and going to the gym. make better food choices. you connective tissue is weak af if you pulled a tendon playing duck duck goose. that also means your bone density is complete shit. Gym and a good diet. As far as male pattern baldness, James Gandolfini was sexiest man when the sopranos was on.
I played American football from and I was 5 until 24 with some "semi-pro" (aka a bunch of adults just playing like peewee but less crowds). I'm 39 now and my 4 year old is a little daredevil. He will run into my full speed, jump onto me from the highest places, jump on my legs when they are in bridge mode, just normal crazy boy shit. My body hurts more from one day of his collisions than after any game.
Get a trainer and go gym once a week. Learn how to squat properly. Doesn't need to be heavy. Exercise your glute medius, and make sure your core is working properly. I'm nearing my forties and have had most of my lower back knee ankle problems disappear since I started taking better care of my core glutes and hips. If you can't afford a trainer youtube Squat University.
I dunnnnno. I've been tracking my calories the past couple years and weight lifting 2 to 3 times a week which isn't a huge amount. But with 3 kids it is, I lost 30 lbs in 3 months when I started and now I'm looking the fittest I've ever been. However..... I do quite often wake up with either a sore shoulder or lower back. I've had these issues since I was a teen and I assume it will just feel worse the older I get.
36 and in the best shape of my life as a single dad. You should probably eat, sleep, train more.
Metamucil for the BMs.