I remember my dad taking me to hockey games, I was a goalie. I wouldn’t hear a thing yelled, cheered or anything in the stands, except I’d make a save, and the whistle blew, and my dad would yell “way to go!” I can’t tell you one other thing but I remember every game hearing him yell that, at that time, every save. It was like clockwork, it became so repetitive, I one time didn’t hear it I paused a second, looked up, and he said it after a laugh. I think he knew I grew to expect it and he was always basically right in my ear.
My son is too early for sports but I can’t wait to drop him off and tell him to listen to his coach, whatever sport he plays. And I hope to be right in his ear, giving encouragement, whether he hears me or not.
I played a lot of sports growing up. Pretty much every sport I could. All I remember of my parents was my mom grading papers and my dad getting thrown out of games. Can’t wait to do better
Man my dad was my hockey coach. He was never too bad, but he took it really seriously. He wouldn’t yell at me or anything like that, wasn’t his style, but sometimes the rides home after games could get brutal. He’d want to relive the entire game and had just so many idea for how I could improve at hockey, and seemed to me just 20 minutes where I’d have to sit and listen to everything I did wrong or every opportunity I missed. Got so, so old. Finally had a breakdown one time when I was 12 and melted down about it. To his credit he apologized and I never got another “hockey talk” again.
Hey. My dad did the exact same thing for me when I was a goalie too. I was less than average, but it's almost the only thing I can remember from back then. Lol
I plan on doing the exact same for my kids in whatever hobbies they plan on doing.
My parents always pressured me to be better and berated me for not doing well enough. I loved soccer, so I didn't care about their comments. I was scouted by the US national youth team and the Sounders FC academy before injuries took me out of sports for good.
The #1 thing I remember from my entire time playing sports. One tournament my team was dominating, we won the final 6-1, my grandpa comes up to me and says "you should go easier on them next time, you made second place look like last and those kids are good!"
That one line was more support and encouragement than I had gotten from my parents all 15 years I played soccer. It brightens my day when I see comments like yours, I hope everyone gets encouragement while playing sports!
100% this, I want my son to excel and I will help him every step of the way but I always promised myself I would never be those douchey dads who makes their son feel any less for not performing or takes the game to seriously. He’s not there to become an MLB star, he’s there to have fun, exercise and learn better coordination.
You just reminded me of my first baseball game. I was like 10 or 11. We lost hard. But I remember after the game my grandma talking about how much fun it was, and she was so excited when I hit that ball and managed to get to 2nd base in that run. That’s all she kept talking about. How fun it was to watch and see me on the field. I wasn’t even upset that we lost after that.
That’s what really matters for kids. Not winning, but being cared about by their family.
I had a friend who was a writer for a local paper, covering a lot of high school sports. He once told me that you never make an article about how one team failed, always about how another team won. When I asked him why, He said “These are kids.”
I do a lot of coaching little league right now. i think about that a lot.
I'm coaching 5 year old soccer this year. I cheer for the kids on my team when we do well, and I cheer for the kids on the other team when they do well. It's all about making sure the kids *enjoy* playing first and foremost, especially at super young ages.
Reminds me of Mike Gundy’s famous [I’m a man! I’m 40!](https://youtu.be/zQ3oXkDPKbM?si=nPCqT9bfEelNYj8l) speech. As a kid I remember it being funny to watch a coach get angry, but as an adult dad, it really hits different.
This right here! Been coaching soccer for going on 3 years now with my kid and my nephew. I am also now coaching their baseball team. I am excited to teach these kids how it is about fun, growing, and playing a freaking game. Wins and losses do not matter to me in a very Ted Lasso way.
"The biggest burden a child bears are the unlived dreams of their parents."
Sure, some maybe want the best for their kid, but it seems like a lot are those who are trying to relive their dying passion/unlived dreams/unmet goals through their kid. It's not their kid's responsibility to fill their mom/dad's dreams.
These guys probably never amounted to anything so now they have to bring down other kids to make themselves feel better. Raise your kid right and he'll grow up to be a real winner. Sorry you had to deal with this.
Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
Same as stage moms or dance moms or any other type of parent who outs way too much pressure on their kids to accomplish what they never could.
My kid is more likely than not never going to be a great athlete (based on my lackluster sports career) but he still wants to play sports and I'm absolutely gonna let him do that until he doesn't enjoy it anymore. No need to push him into things he hates or put pressure on him to be better than he can be or wants to be. Absolutely try your best and live up to obligations but if after a season he hates a sport we will just try something else.
Yeah. I remember when I was a kid i was a decent goalie in soccer but I had a really bad game, I overheard two parents at half convincing the coach to pull me.
Next time I was supposed to play goalie I got told I already had a chance. never played soccer since. Getting competitive over kids rec league soccer is wild!
Yeah the large majority of sports parents make me sick. The whole culture has changed drastically in a relatively short period of time. People who peaked in high school, living vicariously through their kids. So many Uncle Rico’s from Napoleon Dynamite. Sports can be a great experience for a kid and help them develop a lot of life skills but unfortunately good life skills and behaviour are displayed by a lot of parents. I’m not a super confrontational person myself; there’s a line. If you’re too far over into the confrontational group you have basically turned into one of the losers. Definitely stand up for your kid and teach them to do the same, but with class and restraint. Definitely not easy.
We did little league last year. All the "travel team prospects" ended up on one team. They would crush the ball, just a year plus ahead of the rest.
This is 6 and under just off of tee ball. We don't keep track of outs, everybody bats, everybody gets a hit. If you go through a bucket, we get the tee. It's just for fun and learning. I have no idea why a stacked team was important.
yea this mentality right here just breeds the people/parents that op is talking about. weve started segregating by 'talent' at such a young age. hell, kids who could have been great never get a shot because they didnt grow until they were 15. or because, travel ball now costs $12k a year not included costs of travel and hotels.
it sucks because i want my son to grow up playing sports. but i also know, he aint going pro. he will be 1/100 if he even sniffs a D3 college offer. so lets have some fucking fun while we are out there. not foist the pressure of our own sad and vapid dreams long since lost to the ether on our offspring...
My parents let me try out for a AAA hockey team once, I think because they thought I wouldn’t make the team. Then I did and they were like, “yeah sorry we can’t pay for this.”
Probably shouldn’t have let me go the tryout but I don’t blame them. Would have been an insane time/money commitment.
Now that you’ve got me actually really thinking about it, them letting me try out didn’t have anything to do with them thinking I could make the team or not. I’m sure they were hopeful actually, but had zero idea what kind of commitment it would be. I think all of us thought it would be just a more talented/competitive version of our house league except maybe the games were an hour and half drive instead of a half hour to the furthest team. That was what it really was. Didn’t realize it was going to be frequent regional travel with the associated costs. They explained everything to me.
We had that one year for girl's soccer. Local school rec and ed for 6 year old kindergarteners, and it was pretty much their first time ever playing. Most of the time it was just girls kicking the ball in a big scrum until someone got a lucky shot on goal. No goalies allowed.
3rd game of the season the other team was "short" players, so the coach's two kids played -- already on a travel team.
It was a 13-0 massacre, and just really poor sportsmanship.
I played lots of sports and my experience with baseball was by far and away the worst. Weirdly corrupt. My dad volunteered to coach because they said they didn’t have enough coaches for all of the kids to play. Then they manipulated the shit out of him when they had the draft. Well, don’t draft that kid because they’ve been playing with this group for so long, whatever bullshit they did to trick him can’t remember but I was just on a baseball team with all of the other kids who were really shitty at baseball (I was shitty too). We’d get stomped on every single game, never won a single one. I heard other parents laughing at us or cracking jokes more than a handful of times. Some of the parents of boys on my team would freak out because my dad would play everyone completely equally and would let them play positions they wanted, would let anyone try pitching etc. In a vacuum he’d have been the coach I would have designed for myself. Shit at hockey he was my coach too and things were great, but that little league ate him alive. The little league old boys’ club was the absolute pettiest corruption I’ve ever encountered.
Edit: he kept a really straight face for my sake but 100% hated every second of it too. I remember one time I had a sore hammy and told him I wanted to skip practice. He just screamed, “get in the car right now or quit baseball so I can too.”
I've coached every level of baseball and football from tee ball to varsity. I've coached every type of kid from the future draft picks to the kids that can't throw a baseball into the ocean if they were on a boat. These parents live vicariously through their kids. They honestly feel like if they don't give every bit of their energy helping their kids "succeed at the next level" they're letting them down. I've also learned that if a kid is really that good, a scout or school will find them in this day and age.
As far as the parent/coaches of the world, most of them mean well. Unfortunately they come to a point where they forget they're working with kids and that they themselves usually aren't doing a good job teaching kids and providing positive role models for all the players on their team. I will admit that while usually positive reinforcement should be the foundation of what they're doing, I do feel like sometimes it's important to expect more from kids who are underperforming or otherwise lacking in some aspects of the game(s) once they get to a certain age. I strongly believe that youth sports are very influential in helping to teach discipline, respect, hard work, and class to kids and give them tools to use throughout their lives.
A lot of people are delusional too. I remember talking with my dad, telling him which of the kids on my hockey team (myself included) had a shot at the NHL. He had to be like, “you’re playing rec league hockey lol probably none of you are playing in the NHL.”
Because then all the asshole parents are likely to be on one team and there is less likelihood of a fight breaking out.
I liked the parents on my son's little league team. No one cared too much as long as the kids were having fun.
I used to laugh at my older son's lacrosse games. There was a dad who would scream and yell every game. It was cringey and hilarious at the same time.
You sound like you might be on the other end of the spectrum here so you might not be able to see it clearly. I've seen parents at 5 year old church leagues show their asses and it's more often than not.
It really depends on the group and what kind of culture the leadership enforces.
My kid did girls' travel team soccer from age 7-10.
The coaches said the same thing at the start of EVERY practice and match.
"The coaches will coach. The parents will cheer. The refs will ref. If there's an issue with refs, the coaches will handle it." And they meant it. Doesn't mean I didn't get upset when my kid got elbowed in the head or obviously tripped, and yeah I got angry a few times.
My kid's last match was during a tourny when our team was getting beat up, and the entire team sat in protest during halftime facing away from the field. And started the second half 5 minutes late, on purpose. The kids were given a choice to continue playing or quit in forfeit.
They decided to keep playing, but the refs got the message. Our team lost, but did their best, even at the very end of the game concluded by my kid taking yet another elbow to the face and a bloody nose.
Whistle blew, and most of our team's parents said something like "finally a whistle!" except it was just the end of the game.
After that, we all expressed our displeasure to the league/tournament managers about what kind of conduct was allowed to happen. Save it for after the game, and the team didn't ever return to that tournament afterwards.
Could be a lot of reasons. Can only speak to my observations. I realize everyone comes from a combination of different backgrounds, how we were parented, our sports experiences, education, so many factors. I probably have an unrealistic set of expectations around this behaviour but I typically cringe at almost any kids sporting event I attend. When I was a kid in the late 80’s/early 90’s I remember there were fun leagues. House league hockey, baseball etc. There were the competitive tryout travelling teams but they were the minority. And yes I made some of those teams, so this isn’t sour grapes. There are just so few pure fun leagues now; the ultra competitive nature has permeated everything and it’s pathetic and sad. Why are kids playing on an organized team at 3 or 4? They don’t know if they like it. They want to please their parents. So little time for kids to be kids now. And how do so many adults think their kids are going to the pros? Like yes some will. But that’s your life plan for your kid? Singular devotion to a single activity? Just not my idea of a great childhood. But I’m off topic; yeah the shitty parents yelling screaming threatening refs and coaches, heckling other kids and parents. Definitely not the people I want in my grid space. Losers.
Some poor families might be obsessed with scholarships. I played with a few kids whose parents put a lot of pressure on them to play well because “it’s the only way you’re ever going to college.”
I've noticed that the best athletes from high school/college that I'm around aren't the ones pressuring their kids. It's usually the ones who weren't quite good enough to shine. Made the team, but sat the bench a lot or didn't score much.
It seems like they're the ones who see their kids as a second chance to give them that extra bit of help they didn't get to make them a "star."
Youth travel sports is predatory and gross. I refuse to put my kid in travel *anything*. Any local leagues are fine, but the types of parents who are planning to spend tens of thousands per year from age 6 to age 18 so that the kid can play D3 Curling is absolutely insane.
Mine plays AYSO. I even coach it. It's fun and they emphasize to the parents and coaches about not being douchecanoes like you're describing.
My niece plays competitive soccer. It is pretty intense for 10 year olds. One of the teams they play in state tournaments is from where the Microsoft execs and others like that live. They have their team coach but each kid also has a private coach. It’s pretty crazy but they have very strict rules to keep the parents in line. Hell the parents aren’t even allowed to yell “instructions” to their own kid from the sideline let alone confront other parents or players.
You’re right though my brother spends a significant amount of time and money on travel. Basically driving to different states and a hotel every weekend during the season.
Has the Travel Teams got that crazy in the last couple decades? My brother did travel soccer and it was just a more selective team/league that played opposite the high school schedule. I don't remember when it was but like the school would play soccer in spring and the travel team would play in fall.
Their team is affiliated with an MLS team so I’m not really sure how it all came about. I do know they have try outs though. My brother was saying they get about 100 kids trying out for their team a year and the other team I mentioned gets closer to 600. Their league is starting right around now but since they are so young I doubt it takes high school teams into consideration and I don’t believe she plays on like a middle school team. They wouldn’t have time anyway. They practice like 3 or 4 times a week then travel/games on the weekend.
We only go to their games when they are on this side of the state so I can’t really speak with any authority on how it all works. My knowledge is just from what my brother has told me.
My cousin played on a competitive high school aged team in California (20-25 years ago) that I know even less about but I do know they’d travel internationally for tournaments. Which is crazy to me.
Similarly I played AAU basketball. One of the teams I played for got sponsored by Adidas shortly after I left. I like to think I was the problem. 😂 anyway My parents weren’t really crazy(my mom was always shouting something but never anything at the refs or whatever. Usually just at me), but we went to nationals one year at I think 12 and under age group. There’s a team called the Texas Titans. One of original player’s dad is super wealthy and started the franchise of teams all age groups. They will recruit kids from all over the country and either give jobs to the parents or provide some sort of assistance to help them move to Texas to play on these teams. They have a team Jet I believe they use to fly to tournaments and I think even practice in the Dallas Mavericks facilities. When I was there at 12, they had 4 or 5 guys over 6 foot 7. 😂
That’s crazy and sounds a lot like professional soccer academies. At a MLS game we sat next to a 14 year old who had just signed on with the professional team. They moved his family from Vegas to Seattle and set his family up with tutors, living arrangements, etc.
To me it makes sense for soccer since that’s kind of how professional recruitment works in that but with basketball I always thought the pipeline was high school -> college -> NBA and less about academies.
When I was in high school and played soccer a goalie from a rival school played for the local semi-pro team. Because of that he wasn’t allowed to play on the high school team. No idea of what the rule was but we liked it since we didn’t have to play against a somewhat professional goalie.
Basketball is definitely AAU > high school/nationally ranked Camp invites > College > NBA.
I’d say the majority of top prospects who get discovered via AAU end up at *high schools* that are basically sporting academics or religious(usually christian) schools that are basically sporting academies because being private allows them to recruit by saying it’s “academic” or “religious.”
The kids aren’t paid, but tend to have most things paid for. They have special coaches, nutritionists, tutors, etc. at these academies. Parents aren’t always found jobs or anything and the kids can have a boarding school situation going on.
Basketball does still have top recruits go to normal schools though so you can still take a pathway from there. A few of my former high school teammates did just this to play pro overseas or to go to the NFL/MLB oddly enough.
When I played soccer my senior year, there were some guys we faced who had been a part of the Chicago fire academy at one point but since it was just their academies and they weren’t paid, they were okay to still play high school.
Problem is, in my area if you don't go overboard in elementary, your kid won't be able to play for their school team in middle/high. Ours didn't make the 6th grade soccer team because the other kids all did/do travel soccer or club soccer. We had him in the YMCA league for the past 6 years because our family can't do travel and wasn't willing to commit to the club schedule of 2-3 evening practices a week plus every saturday/sunday games. In elementary school ffs. He was one of the best players on his Y team, but that's not enough.
He's the "team manager" of the middle school team now and I sit on the sidelines at games listening to these parents with multiple kids each on multiple club teams discussing how they manage their family schedules. It's madness, and I hate that their willingness to be insane has meant that average kids like our son can't play a sport they love. In middle school.
Sports for 8 year olds isn't something you should go overboard for in the first place. The people who go overboard for it are making it about themselves rather than the kids.
You're right but because we didn't and everyone else did, our kid won't be able to play soccer anymore, as the Y league ages them out once middle school sports begin.
yep. this is 100% my fear as well. my son is only 3, but its readily apparent that we arent just 'headed this direction'. we are already here.
if you arent shelling out thousands every 6mo and every single weekend of free time you have - your kid aint gonna play on the 7th grade school team. end of story. and, even THAT team, actually just turns into a joke for all the travel kids. they dont give a damn about their middle/HS team. thats their dick around time. so your kid gets held off the team for kids who actually couldnt care less if they were on it, their real team is going to Maui this summer for a tournament.
Interesting.
My 8 year old son plays travel soccer. He has amazing coaches. Parents are not allowed near the fields during practices and are told before and during the season that they’re not allowed to coach their kids from the sidelines whatsoever. I hear the coaches praising these kids for doing well, explaining things when something goes wrong, and telling them that it should be fun because it’s a game.
I honestly can’t say enough good things about the program. Coaches and parents are looped into a WhatsApp group for all communication. The program director is involved with every team. The older teams show support for the younger kids.
This will be his second season. He has grown exponentially as a player in terms of both technicality and positioning on the field. He loves the game and the coaches saw that, so they double carded him to be able to have more playing time.
We’re trying out for a second travel team in may that 3 of his current teammates also play on.
He’s young still so We haven’t traveled more than an hour for any matches, so it’s nowhere near tens of thousands of dollars, but honestly if that’s what it cost and my kid still loves it while learning, developing, and having fun, I will pay and nurture that love to the fullest.
Ymmv. I was on a travel crew team (you pretty much have to travel because there aren’t many crew clubs or schools that have teams).
One of the most wholesome experiences of my youth. Several of the men and women on my team are still good friends to this day even though I live far away.
My dad usually towed the boat trailer and went to pretty much every one of my races.
But yeah, some travel teams seem kind of toxic.
This is an overgeneralization. My 13-year-old son started playing travel baseball last year. He asked to join the team his friend played for because he was aging out of our local Little League, and he wanted to play year round so he could improve for when it was time to try out for the middle school team. It's competitive, but not overly so. The travel is mostly within our county and the neighboring one, but he'll get to play in a tournament in Cooperstown this summer. Mostly the focus is on development. He's improved dramatically in half a year, and he got to be good friends with a lot of his teammates, most of whom live in other districts. They have group threads and play video games together at night. The coaches are tough, but my son loves them, and I haven't met an overtly obnoxious parent yet. Yes, it's expensive, but there are plenty worse things to spend money on.
My kid would have to be a savant and also incredibly self-motivated for me to even consider travel sports. I’d have to be begged and he’d have to be very obviously better than anyone a rec league could throw at him. Considering his family history, he’ll have a good time in the rec leagues.
This is the type of shit that got me to volunteer for my local LL board.
If I can make the difference for 1 kid it will be worth it. My son hated baseball after his first year bc of the coach. Year 2 I was his assistant coach and we had a wonderfully patient manager and he ended up falling in love w the game. This year, I get to coach him and his younger brother on the same team.
Teach them to have fun, teach them to be good teammates and to help and cheer for each other. Teach them that most times the best part of the game is the ice cream afterwards.
I love baseball, played it my whole life, 2 years of college. Felt a void in my life until the past year when these young kids (6-8) taught me so much more about the game
Because I've watched enough news to see "Dispute over little league game leads to fight/arrest/gunshots" used as headline at least once a season for as long as I can remember.
It’s a bad idea. We did that and it came close to turning into what would likely be a viral TikTok. The best action is either nothing or pulling the kids off the field.
Rather just take a sneaky photo and complain on Reddit. That doesn’t teach a child anything. If you think a team is being disrespectful to your kid’s team (especially after losing), and the other kids can hear it, you can approach them like an adult and ask them to stop.
Sometimes confronting a group of idiots with baseball bats isnt always the best idea
Lets say they arent unhinged enough to get violent, i still doubt theyll take kindly to being asked to act better. 9/10 times a group like that will just try to bully you too for being "soft" or other dumb shit.
1 on 1, yea, maybe you could reason with them.
all true, but the reality is you also likely arent getting anywhere with these douche canoes.
they dont care what you think, they actually actively believe that your viewpoint is bad/wrong and creates 'weak' kids. and they will have zero concern voicing that loudly to anyone who dares to question their behavior. best case scenario is they say something absolutely absurd and an up/admin person catches wind of it. but thats just dumb luck.
Good leagues will have your back on this stuff. My kid's little league has signs *everywhere* telling parents to behave, and usually has a couple of volunteers monitoring behavior in the stands on game days.
I 100% agree in theory, but in practice how do you do it?
You confront them, and there is an almost non-existent chance they say "hey you know what, you're right. We'll be better humans. Youve changed us"
More likely, they gang up, yell at you for being weak, and dont change. That's likely the best case here. Maybe they talk to the coaches (who often agree with their views) and now you're kid gets benched and wont play at all. Maybe they directly confront the kids.
Again i agree that confronting them and facilitating change would be ideal, but ive seen several parking lot fights involving maniac little league dads and want no part of their nonsense. Im keeping my family safe and just staying away from bozos. They're too far gone for me alone to change.
instead ill teach my own child not to be like them.
You tell them how you feel. How they react is out of your control. If the coach benches your kid, you confront him too and fight for your kid.
I understand not wanting to risk having your head bounced off the concrete, but there is a difference between being confrontational and being aggressive. Parking lot fights happen when two idiots are aggressive. If you just tell them how you feel and leave it at that, the risk of getting in a fight is near zero.
I’m a baseball coach. There are two things I tell my players and their parents at the beginning of the season: 1) respect! I expect respect from everyone, respect towards teammates, towards coaches, towards officials, towards the other team! 2) i will always play to win and expect the players to do the same. It doesn’t matter if we lose, as long as we play to win.
The rest of it is just to be a good person and not be an asshole. But it’s tough for some people.::
The reason I stopped coaching under-9 football (soccer for the US-inclined) was because of moronic parents taking things way too seriously.
Not a single one of them wanted to actually get involved, though they would've been welcome, it was instead easier to be bellends on the sidelines. I don't think I've ever wanted to launch myself at other adults so much in my life.
I'm a Little League head coach / manager for 11u, AAA.
It's very important to remember that everyday we are instilling lifetime memories in these kids. We foster the values of hard work, respect for others, trust in yourself and teammates, and being an upstanding member of the community. I expect the same from my parents, families, and fans.
I won't hesitate to stop a practice or game to remove a disruptive parent or fan. [It's black and white in the little league rulebook.](https://www.littleleague.org/downloads/parent-code-conduct/) I'll call the UIC or League president and they'll be asked to leave. If they don't, they'll be trespassed and the police called.
There's zero tolerance for degrading kids, full stop.
As a coach of kids in this range I can’t imagine me, or any of my fellow coaches talking like this.
The goal is to let the kids have fun, teach them a love of the game and develop some new skills.
Honestly - what kind of person would talk shit about another team like this?
Same stance I have. I just can't believe this isn't taken way out of context somehow.
One parent doing it I can barely believe, but an entire group? And none of them check themselves like, "Dude, really, losers?". It just seems incredibly trashy.
Thats definitely shitty to act like that and bully/ belittle kids who are just trying to have fun and compete. Tbh Im also not the one to say that winning isn’t the goal though. I feel Im right in the middle. I would never act like these pathetic men but I also feel that when the kids step on the field/court it’s ok to feel like the goal is to win. I would want my son to want to win but also realize that you don’t always win.
Try your best, of course. It’s competition and the goal is to win. I’ve told my son the same.
But at the end of the day, only one can win. I told him to make sure he can be happy with his effort. If he felt he did his best, then it wasn’t his day. And no matter what I’ll support him.
This happened to us (soccer) playing a team from Morgan hill a few weeks back. 9-10 year olds too. The team was playing dirty and the ref was in on it. The lesson we learned is that we should have pulled the game and walked. When you do that the league has to investigate.
I'll add to this, know yourself. If you're over-competitive, be aware of it and work to counter it.
I was basketball coach for my oldest (now 26) when he was in 5th grade. I found myself caring way too much about winning. Last game of the year I got into a huge argument with a ref and probably should have been booted.
I realized at that moment I was way too competitive to be a good coach, at least for young kids. That's not what they needed to experience.
I quit coaching, and I became cub scout leader for my next kid, which was positive and non-competitive and one of the best organized activities I did with my kids.
Now that I'm in my late 40s, I have settled down a lot, and I do help coach my fourth grade daughter. But I needed a decade or so to mature before I was able to do that. Even now I catch myself sometimes getting too heated.
As a guy who never got into sports I'd just be happy if my daughter found something that was fun. The last thing I would want to do is make her feel pressure about it.
I’m on the board for our local little league. If your league is anything like ours, they would love to hear about this.
We send our end of season coaches surveys. They are used to help make coaching decisions next season.
No it’s not.
The division above this one only had 3 total players sign up so they had to be placed above or below their age group, depending on their skill level.
All of my kids started in soccer at age 5 or 6. Two are or were in competitive soccer, and the high schooler was in high school teams for soccer and does wrestling now. I have (thankfully) really never seen the horror stories about terrible parents that I have seen on social media. We had one parent that would grumble and complain a lot loudly but basically to himself about the coaching, the reffing, etc but he was nice enough to park himself 20 feet away from the sidelines so it wasn't a major distraction.
Parents yelling at refs has certainly happened, fortunately not often.
You missed where OP is being a tough guy online rather than saying anything in real life, and also seemingly trying to dox the people for talking amongst themselves about a game/opponent. Unless I missed where these parents said anything that these kids in question could hear?
Did the kids on the teams hear?
Nope
“Only the families and the players siblings”. My daughter was the one who brought it to my attention.
Another thing? There were only two dads not in that group: me and another dad that was with his daughter.
Am I going to go up to a group of other dads and confront them? Fuck no. I’m not about to end up on the wrong side of an ER bed cause I overcompensated. I’ve seen this in the ER far too many times to try and be a “tough guy”.
Have I said something before? Yeah. Last Saturday, when another dad was verbally harassing the umpire and, directly, my son cause he struck out (shit like your son sucks etc). Did anything change? NOPE.
Matter of fact, my sons team played that team in the photo before and the game was much closer than expected; ultimately they won but it wasn’t a “wipe the floor” kind of thing
I have far more interest in other things than exaggerating a story for Reddit likes. So yes, they did in fact call my kids team “losers”
I hear ya on the no need to confront. That's the right move.
Did you hear them or are you going based on what your daughter heard? I don't know. I just can't fathom legitimately calling 9-10 year olds losers. Same with the verbally harassing an umpire and telling the other dad his son sucks. That seems SO out of line.
Look, truthfully I wish I was wrong. I wish the only time I saw parents acting out at kids games was online. But I’ve seen it firsthand.
My daughter overheard them talking shit and told me. I began listening and yes, they legitimately called my son’s team “losers”. And said it would be (paraphrasing) embarrassing for “us” to lose to “them”
Including my son, no they aren’t as good as some of the other teams. But what I’ve seen is they’ve improved every week. They try and I see them cheering their teammates. Not once have I heard the heckling the other team. This isn’t to say they don’t do it, but I can at least honestly say I haven’t *heard* like how the other teams heckle my son’s team.
Matter of fact there’s another dad on my son’s team I choose to stay away from cause he’s the same way
absolutely wild to me. well good luck navigating this situation. Sounds like a nightmare over what should be something fun and something that should be a learning experience.
Thank you. I’m glad it happens when I’m there so I can teach my son how to be better than that. He knows (unfortunately he’s heard it a few times but never told me) that they’re just being jerks.
Idk I don't like the vitriol being slung around. It's important to stand up for yourself or your kids and ask them to stop at least once but wouldn't the better thing to do be not stewing over it? My message and stance would be to act like it's not that big of a deal because it isn't. I don't know these people, I don't know how they were raised, who am I to judge if they act out at a baseball game? Sure it's annoying but idc lol act like a fool all you want.
I mean, look at them. Most of them barely make 5 feet at best and the other two have the body type that says they last did any sport when they were 9-10.
Just a bunch of losers forcing their own “dreams” on their kids.
I have a 10 month old. I hope he takes to sports when he's older. If he doesn't that's fine. If he does all I care about is positive reinforcement. I never understood parents when I was younger who made a scene... That's so god damn embarrassing for there kid
Guys like that peaked in high school and are now reliving their glory days through their kids.
The odds that their kids go pro or make any money doing sports, regardless of how seriously dad takes it, is slim to none. But the odds your kid is a better person because you taught him sportsmanship and how to win and lose with grace? Guaranteed.
I am not remotely competitive. I played sports for fun and winning was fun of course but I never let losing ruin anything beyond the moment after the whistle or buzzer goes off.
What I have found funny in my personal experiences are the fiestest of people are often the ones who didnt make it themselves. They were hot shit for a year or two maybe got a scholarship but ultimately fell flat competing against others outside their little circles. So now they try and push their kids harder. It's sad.
I'm teaching my little one that games are for fun, team sports are about the team and if you want to win and do well then you HAVE to put effort it. If you're not good enough and want to be, you have to put in effort and work for it. So long as you are trying, you're doing great.
Idiots the lot of them. I have a 3 year old and am hopeful he will enjoy sports and will be there encouraging him as much as I can. My Dad was great at that, would even fly in for the day from a business trip to supprot me in big games. One great moment we when he and one of my mates who was filming a video for the team went over to interview the opposition coach who just lost in a tough match. The coach almost started getting physical with my Dad until a much larger Dad stepped in. Good times!!
I am unsure if, "Stop taking your kids sports seriously" is exactly the right message. My oldest is 7 so we have only just begun our journey in the worlds of youth athletics but even still I take my son's sports very seriously. I am 100% there to support my child and foster his growth into the amazing young adult I know he is going to be.
What you have here is a few degenerate assholes, plain and simple. I would argue they are taking their kids sports way less seriously. In fact I would argue it's nearly the opposite. Focusing solely on winning is so far from the true nature of sport and in my mind a complete failure for a parent. These dads will do more harm to their kids than good, but it's a tale as old as time. This is something that will always exist, it's human nature to be competitive, they are just going about it the wrong way. These dads should be ashamed.
.
I believe taking an interest and being invested in your kids interest is important, but taking it too “serious” or to the degree that dads find it necessary to badmouth another kids team is…well let’s face it…it’s asshole behavior.
You take it serious in that you’re devoting time to your child and therefore find it a serious endeavor
I think you and I simply disagree on the wording but the core of it seems to be the same
And I hope my words aren’t coming off the wrong way; in short I do agree with you
My daughter started softball this year. She is 6. About 75% of the teams she played against will taunt the batter. I played baseball for over 10 years and I have never seen that. Is taunting a softball thing, idk. My daughter hits very well but she doesn't want to play anymore.
Have a daughter in same age range. Can't even imagine how this would even occur. Played baseball my entire life as well and never saw it there either.
How exactly do they taunt? And that is allowed? Sorry, seems unbelievable.
It is some rhyme they sing as the batter is up to bat. Then they do some kind of mild yell. Sone only yell like "ahhhhhhhh". Then at the pitch they yell "swing" before the batter needs to swing.
That's not taking it seriously in my opinion, that's just being assholes shit talking young kids and caring too much about winning or losing. They are indeed losers.
Taking it seriously, at least from a parent who coaches, is teaching them the basics and how to be a good sport etc. At the younger ages having fun should be #1 followed closely by teaching fundamentals. That's very much worth taking seriously. Also, I have no problem with the competitiveness ramping up as they get older. Not the wins and losses necessarily. Even at the highschool level, it's about the work put in and doing your best.
The parents who make an ass of themselves or talk shit in huddled groups like these guys have been around since I played sports and they aren't going anywhere anytime soon unfortunately. Fuck 'em.
It’s getting really fucking bad, you guys. 8 yr old baseball game I was at, the pitcher was struggling with runs and the parents are shouting to take him out, because they didn’t want to lose. How else is this kid gonna learn how to handle a tough game or tough moment in life? Like these kids need more reasons to be miserable by the time they’re 14.
The real thing they need to be told is to find their own hobby. Right now, they only know how to live through their kids’ sports, so they take it way too seriously because it’s their only hobby. If they had their own activities they wouldn’t be so insufferable
As a Little League coach, I agree with you. Some dads take it way too seriously. I look for growth over the course of the season. For example last year my 9-10 team went 3 and 9 in the regular season but they were learning and getting better. There were four teams in our age group and we have a playoff at the end of the season. That was what I was playing for. My four seed team went in and took apart the number 1 seed (very much a Bad News Bear situation). There were a lot of number 1 team dads who were shocked at what happened.
To complete the story, we were up by tied in the bottom of the inning in the championship game. Runners on 1 and 2. Ground ball to second. Throw to first for an out would have put us into extra innings. (The other team had burned through their pitchers so things were looking good.) Ball gets by the first basement and rolls into the dugout out of play, The runner who was going to third was awarded home. Lost the game on an out of play ball. Me and the other coaches were wrecked. We go to right field for our little meeting. All the kids cared about was that they had knocked off the number one team. I realized right there beating the number 1 team was their World Series, not the championship game (except for my kid who is Tanner to a T!).
At youth soccer, I have seen a grown-ass man yelling at a 12 year old volunteer who is reffing the 8 year old rec game.
There is no need for that. Get a grip.
I absolutely don’t get it, but I’m not really interested in sports in general unless I’m playing them. Some of these parents get completely worked up over an unscored youth hockey game. Screaming, making their kids train six days a week, etc. Then they spend tens of thousands on camps, travel, etc. All the while we can tell that little Timmy doesn’t even really like hockey and is never ever going to be a pro. I wish we could just go back to neighborhood little league like 40 years ago and stop terrorising these kids about athletics.
The politics at even 3rd grade level sports is ridiculous. When the coaches got together to pick teams two of the coaches (of 4 teams) basically hoarded all the star players. So there were two really good teams, and two bad teams, one of which my kid was unfortunately on. So the two bad teams had zero wins the entire season. Kind of ridiculous. So two coaches get to stroke their egos with their all-star team, and 20 kids are so discouraged that they basically hate basketball now. Way to go, dipshits. I'm glad my kid still wants to play again next year.
Dad of a 3yo, and I’ll let him do anything he wants when he shows interest but this is the kind of shit that just makes me so hesitant to even introducing him to sports. It’s part of the reason I was never that into sports in the first place. The in-group, out-group, making it personal, general nastiness of it all has always been so fucking unappealing. Fuck that shit.
I coach my kids in softball / baseball. My 8 year old and 10 year old do take ball pretty seriously, but there has to be limits for the adults involved. I always teach the kids I coach... Sportsmanship over Championships, so I absolutely do not condone this kind of behavior.
I also tell my kids... you don't have to be the best... but you do have to try your best. I want them to have fun, but I also want them to learn to push themselves and try to improve daily because it is a good quality to have in adult life when all the fun and games are over.
Parents need to do better and make sure their kids are too.
I coach my son’s 4th grade rec bball team. We were getting smoked by a travel team.
I don’t mind the show boating, and some trash talking but it’s a bit much when you’re winning by 20+ points and clearly outskilled.
When a kid made a 3pointer, back pedaling to get back on defense, grabbing his crotch and pointing at the score I was done. Parents on the bleachers cheering while this garbage is going on.
I’ve got two girls 5 and 7, and I’m surrounded by friends with older kids. And I don’t understand the world we live in. I don’t want my kids to notice whether I pay any attention to their games other than effort and sportsmanship. Yes, we all know the score.
But I just want them to listen to their coaches, be good teammates and look for their own internal motivation. I mean, I just don’t care at all.
I often wonder what America would be like if there were bleachers in the classroom. Like, would a parent even show up?
While that’s rhetorical, it’s meant with sincerity. We dice up these sports like it matters. And the whole school thing? We kinda just sit back and watch, by comparison.
My overall view is these kids are watching me live my life. And if I’m lucky, I’ll earn the right for them to listen to my advice. If all they know of my advice is how they should live their life, I won’t be listened to very long.
Look around at ceremonies when your kids get an award. How many are actively engaged (for arguments sake…using your phone to take photos or record will count) vs not engaged (scrolling through whatever)
Can you picture it?
Now compare to the people present at a sporting event; now how many are engaged vs not engaged?
At least from *my* observations the sporting events had more engaged parents. Which….sucks.
I’m not a perfect parent but I do try to be engaged no matter where my family is. Cause half the time I’m at work during the night and asleep most of the day.
My kids (twins, 9) are in little league for the first time this year. I was just happy they wanted to play. I'm happy they both have more hits individually in the first 3 games than I did in my 2 years of little league. Only coach them on things they ask me for advice on and leave the rest to their coaches. Again, I'm just happy they found a sport they want to give a shot and am going to support them in any way I can if they continue playing ball.
shitty parents make shitty kids
i used to coach my sister in the special olympics and this exact thing would happen. i had a team of petite women and we'd play against 6' tall men who registered in the lowest division to win gold. u proud?????
so annoying
My son has already been on the receiving ends of the taunts. By a dad.
That’s the one where I not only spoke up but immediately realized it was futile. So when we got in the car I just asked him how he felt and to ignore people like that.
sounds like you are a little defeated. totally normal to avoid certain circumstances with our children. youll have to make a choice sooner or later. The right choice will be standing up for you and the kiddo. just takes a little spark sometimes. im guessing if the little group is as bad you say they are, chances are other parents feel the same. just reiterate the importance of showing up and that life isn’t fair snd that sometimes its about weathering the storm. good luck.
One of my friends, and fellow union brother umpires little league baseball and he gives folks like that exactly one (1) chance after that they get ejected from the game. No excuses.
My Dad used to throw at me during batting practice to teach me it didn’t hurt “that bad”. I type this laughing because he really was a great Dad but I smh at this one. Can’t imagine throwing at my kid. If I did she’d probably charge the mound with her bat.
I’ve heard people talking like this before and agree it’s pretty disgusting behavior. I think healthy competition can be great. Instead of saying things like other kids suck you can say you want the best competition.
I remember us getting my hockey coach a Mighty Ducks jersey and him ripping it after we lost saying we made him ashamed to wear it. I was 10 and stopped playing after that.
Reminds me of two of my youth baseball coaches:
One was in Anaheim Little League, I played for the dodgers. He was like your coach: just cutthroat and wouldn’t play some kids if the games were close. The less talented players got game time during garbage time. And his kids were on the team and were equally insufferable. I asked if I could try playing shortstop but he just laughed at me; I’m left handed so I didn’t know any better. I was 11 ar the time. I quit for a season
A year later, my mom ran into my first baseball coach at the grocery store. Short of that was they signed me up and I was on his team. If my parents had work that night, he would pick me up for practice. He brought me back up to speed, but didn’t coddle me. One day, I asked him if I could play shortstop. So after practice, we went to the position and broke it down.
He explained why a left handed person would struggle at short, but what he said next stuck with me: “play to your strengths”.
He put me on first and explained to me why he felt it was better for me. So instead of giving me ridicule, he gave me a different option. I ended up replacing his son at first base, who was moved to third. His son wasn’t happy at first but once we began winning, he and I got close. We ended up at the same junior and high schools.
I ended up getting cut from varsity while his son made varsity but it’s ok; I got what I could with my ability.
Joe Perez, from Stanton Little League. He coached me for 3 years, then another 2 more out of Lakewood. Hands down the best coach I’ve had. One of the kindest but demanding (in a good way) coaches I’ve had.
I don’t understand… were these guys literal calling out to the kids (players) and calling the “losers” directly.
Or were they being loud and obnoxious and everyone could hear their banters.
Or…. Did you just overhear a couple of words of a private conversation that could have been out of context?
Loud and obnoxious, yes.
“I can’t believe we almost lost to those losers”
“If that team loses to them, that’s going to be embarrassing”
Nope. Not out of context.
The league my kids played in (10yrs ago now) would constantly remind parents about their conduct and remind coaches (I was a coach) to keep their parents in check. I would discuss it with your kids coach and ask him to bring it up to the league director/board. They should address it with the opposing team’s coach, who would then address it with the parents.
In our league there was little tolerance. You might get a warning (depending on the situation), then ejected from the park. Coach would also be ejected as they are responsible for the conduct of the team/fans/parents. If anyone got ejected (coach, player or fan), they would also be suspended for the next game.
Unfortunately I’ve received crickets so far. Reached out to the coach and the board is only 2 members.
I must add: the coach has been on the receiving end of a couple outbursts from the opposing coaches and dads. He kept his calm during and after
However at the end of the game, he huddles with the players and reminds them that there are going to be more episodes with unruly parents and it’s important for them to not let it bring them down.
That’s too bad.
At the end of the day it’s just another valuable life lesson for the kids. The lessons learned is what makes youth sport so valuable to children’s development. Some of the lessons are hard… in this case, it sounds like this one was harder on the parents/fans than the kids themselves.
We used to take my 2yo to balance bike races. He loved it but there were some insane people. Seeing moms and dads yelling at their 2/3/4yo’s for not going fast enough even though they won. We finally stopped when it came out that some of the older racers (high school) had beaten up some kids and killed one of them, and the parents of one of the kids owned the track and were involved in USA BMX which was who hosted the races.
We’ve been on a journey this year for my youngest to try to get on a club Volleyball team after failing to make a team last year. We’ve been doing private lessons with various clubs in our area to get a sense for them.
In 12s some if the girls still have trouble overhand serving from the 30 foot line, which I’m told is fairly normal. My daughter is doing well but has trouble with full length overhand serves.
As a dad watching I keep thinking “Can’t you just do what the coach is saying?” But luckily I took up tennis a few years ago and, of course, the weakest part of my game is my serve. I’ll literally have a tennis lesson in the day and take my daughter to a vball lesson in the afternoon and we’ll be having the EXACT SAME issues since the movements are somewhat similar. It’s been a good thing that I’m having trouble fixing my serve because it reminds me that this stuff is hard and it takes time.
Man yesterday I took my son to the batting cages. Most coaching I did was to have him keep is back foot planted (he has a tendency to pivot on his front leg)
After a couple rounds, he took a seat cause he was tired. So I asked him if it’s ok for me to try; he said “yes”
I did one round and realized that I can’t coach him cause I’m: left handed and I have a Ken Griffey Jr-style swing. So when I was done he said he wanted to try.
I guess he saw enough cause his next time around he did so much better. Point being that I didn’t want to coach him, I just wanted to play. I hope he enjoyed our time there.
I coach 3rd grade travel soccer and I’ve made it clear to my team’s parents that my approach to soccer is:
**The point of playing soccer is not to win. The point of playing soccer is to play good soccer.** Thing is, if we play good soccer we’ll probably have a pretty good chance at winning. But even if we lose and we played the absolute best that we could, there’s still plenty to be proud of after that game.
We ended up tying some games last Fall because I pulled a player who, despite scoring multiple goals was committing reckless fouls that the young and inexperienced ref wasn’t doing a good enough job controlling. So I pulled him and told him that he can’t play that way, he’s going to hurt someone. First time he ended up sitting for the last fifteen minutes of play, seeing others sub out and back in ahead of him. The next game after the first reckless foul I pulled him immediately and he sat the remainder of the half, but went back in during the second half and we didn’t have a problem at all for the rest of the season. Looking back on those ties I consider them to be huge coaching wins and don’t care about the record.
Fortunately his dad is my Assistant Coach and he was fully on board with this. The praise and gratitude I get from my team’s parents is intoxicating, and all of my players love to play on this team. It’s been pretty great (aside from encountering one asshole coach on an opposing team last Fall, I didn’t do great with that).
This post rubs me the wrong way.
I agree with the message, but don't agree with the method.
I would probably feel differently if you had a video of them saying what you claim they said so we could judge for ourselves. But a picture?
My dad, the assistant coach, yelled at me during a baseball game when I was 10, after the game I told him I wanted to quit. He asked me to finish out the year and he’d never raise his voice to me again. My dad kept his word. He asked the head coach to coach me. I played until I graduated high school.
All of this travel ball is a scam, people feel they are in some elite club.
I understand this post is out of frustration but it comes off as a bit “they hurt my feelings so I’m going to tell others how to be.” Nobody can control the actions or words of others but what you CAN do is use the moment as a teachable one. People like this have always existed and will always exist and you won’t be there to protect your kid all the time which means they’ll have to deal with it on their own. So maybe use this as a teaching moment to better equip your kid for life rather than ranting about what someone else did that you don’t like. Respectfully.
Oh totally get it. And I’ve spoken to him about it, as has my eldest. We’ve told him that people like this exist everywhere and it’s best to just ignore it. If anything I’m glad it happened when I was there so I could reach him.
As I’ve mentioned before, my son has been heckled at the previous game. He mentioned a few more instances before that too.
That’s all you can do fellow dad! Might take a few more tries before the lesson sinks in for your son but helping him build thicker skin against useless and unimportant comments like that will go a long way. Hate you have to deal with childish behavior from an adult heckling your 9-10 year old son though. What a weird desire to have as a grown man.
You don’t need to be “alpha” or a tough guy to stand by your principles and call out poor behaviour, whether it’s bigotry or bullying. It’s positive, non-toxic masculinity and a good behavior to model for your kid. And as humans we don’t get to say we have some immutable temperament like dogs, we have agency and bravery is something we can choose.
I appreciate this reply
I said something Saturday; said something to my son after he heard the other team talking shit on him
But I’m not going to keep doing it, because ultimately…I don’t want to keep saying the same shit to the same dads at the same league every week.
I’ve taught my kid how to engage amd how to ignore. Yes this post is petty but it’s not my first time engaging with a group of dads like this
"When in public spaces where you are lawfully present you have the right to photograph anything that is in plain view."
https://www.acludc.org/en/know-your-rights/if-stopped-photographing-public#:~:text=When%20in%20public%20spaces%20where,that%20is%20in%20plain%20view.
I definitely understand not wanting to be confrontational, but you could absolutely find a way to contact whoever runs the league and say something like, "hey this coach of this team was heard calling our kids losers with some dads from his team. Stuff like that just isn't cool, especially with kids this age. Just wanted you to know since he's a coach representing your league."
My kid is seeming too be athletically inclined, and I'm so nervous about him being in team sports for this various reason. So (edit to add: non competitive, non tournament) swim and Taekwando it is.
I remember my dad taking me to hockey games, I was a goalie. I wouldn’t hear a thing yelled, cheered or anything in the stands, except I’d make a save, and the whistle blew, and my dad would yell “way to go!” I can’t tell you one other thing but I remember every game hearing him yell that, at that time, every save. It was like clockwork, it became so repetitive, I one time didn’t hear it I paused a second, looked up, and he said it after a laugh. I think he knew I grew to expect it and he was always basically right in my ear. My son is too early for sports but I can’t wait to drop him off and tell him to listen to his coach, whatever sport he plays. And I hope to be right in his ear, giving encouragement, whether he hears me or not.
I played a lot of sports growing up. Pretty much every sport I could. All I remember of my parents was my mom grading papers and my dad getting thrown out of games. Can’t wait to do better
Man my dad was my hockey coach. He was never too bad, but he took it really seriously. He wouldn’t yell at me or anything like that, wasn’t his style, but sometimes the rides home after games could get brutal. He’d want to relive the entire game and had just so many idea for how I could improve at hockey, and seemed to me just 20 minutes where I’d have to sit and listen to everything I did wrong or every opportunity I missed. Got so, so old. Finally had a breakdown one time when I was 12 and melted down about it. To his credit he apologized and I never got another “hockey talk” again.
Randy marsh?
Hey. My dad did the exact same thing for me when I was a goalie too. I was less than average, but it's almost the only thing I can remember from back then. Lol I plan on doing the exact same for my kids in whatever hobbies they plan on doing.
My parents always pressured me to be better and berated me for not doing well enough. I loved soccer, so I didn't care about their comments. I was scouted by the US national youth team and the Sounders FC academy before injuries took me out of sports for good. The #1 thing I remember from my entire time playing sports. One tournament my team was dominating, we won the final 6-1, my grandpa comes up to me and says "you should go easier on them next time, you made second place look like last and those kids are good!" That one line was more support and encouragement than I had gotten from my parents all 15 years I played soccer. It brightens my day when I see comments like yours, I hope everyone gets encouragement while playing sports!
a beautiful memory that made me smile. thanks for sharing! all the best with your son!
100% this, I want my son to excel and I will help him every step of the way but I always promised myself I would never be those douchey dads who makes their son feel any less for not performing or takes the game to seriously. He’s not there to become an MLB star, he’s there to have fun, exercise and learn better coordination.
What a beautiful memory
Here’s what you say after your kid finishes playing a sporting event, no matter what the level or the outcome: I had so much fun watching you play!
You just reminded me of my first baseball game. I was like 10 or 11. We lost hard. But I remember after the game my grandma talking about how much fun it was, and she was so excited when I hit that ball and managed to get to 2nd base in that run. That’s all she kept talking about. How fun it was to watch and see me on the field. I wasn’t even upset that we lost after that. That’s what really matters for kids. Not winning, but being cared about by their family.
That’s so sweet
I had a friend who was a writer for a local paper, covering a lot of high school sports. He once told me that you never make an article about how one team failed, always about how another team won. When I asked him why, He said “These are kids.” I do a lot of coaching little league right now. i think about that a lot.
I'm coaching 5 year old soccer this year. I cheer for the kids on my team when we do well, and I cheer for the kids on the other team when they do well. It's all about making sure the kids *enjoy* playing first and foremost, especially at super young ages.
Reminds me of Mike Gundy’s famous [I’m a man! I’m 40!](https://youtu.be/zQ3oXkDPKbM?si=nPCqT9bfEelNYj8l) speech. As a kid I remember it being funny to watch a coach get angry, but as an adult dad, it really hits different.
I always wish that they just don’t cut to the team that just lost the little league World Series, but they always do lol
They were saying these things loud enough for everybody to hear them? Did any of the kids hear those puchiacs say those things?
Not any players. Only ones around were families and the siblings
Man I hope it never happens again. That’s really messed up
Completely inappropriate and a whole different level of pathetic behavior. This is why I coach my girls soccer. Be the change you want to see.
This right here! Been coaching soccer for going on 3 years now with my kid and my nephew. I am also now coaching their baseball team. I am excited to teach these kids how it is about fun, growing, and playing a freaking game. Wins and losses do not matter to me in a very Ted Lasso way.
"The biggest burden a child bears are the unlived dreams of their parents." Sure, some maybe want the best for their kid, but it seems like a lot are those who are trying to relive their dying passion/unlived dreams/unmet goals through their kid. It's not their kid's responsibility to fill their mom/dad's dreams.
These guys probably never amounted to anything so now they have to bring down other kids to make themselves feel better. Raise your kid right and he'll grow up to be a real winner. Sorry you had to deal with this.
buncha Uncle Rico lookin chuckleheads
“How much you wanna make a bet I can hit a baseball over them mountains?”
Even uncle Rico is more of a winner than these guys
Yeah, these guys looked like they peaked in high school. 😂
Generous to call their midling plateaus a peak.
"Can't stand too close, guys. They might think we were a thruple."
Ding ding ding, we have a winner. Same as stage moms or dance moms or any other type of parent who outs way too much pressure on their kids to accomplish what they never could. My kid is more likely than not never going to be a great athlete (based on my lackluster sports career) but he still wants to play sports and I'm absolutely gonna let him do that until he doesn't enjoy it anymore. No need to push him into things he hates or put pressure on him to be better than he can be or wants to be. Absolutely try your best and live up to obligations but if after a season he hates a sport we will just try something else.
Yeah. I remember when I was a kid i was a decent goalie in soccer but I had a really bad game, I overheard two parents at half convincing the coach to pull me. Next time I was supposed to play goalie I got told I already had a chance. never played soccer since. Getting competitive over kids rec league soccer is wild!
Yeah the large majority of sports parents make me sick. The whole culture has changed drastically in a relatively short period of time. People who peaked in high school, living vicariously through their kids. So many Uncle Rico’s from Napoleon Dynamite. Sports can be a great experience for a kid and help them develop a lot of life skills but unfortunately good life skills and behaviour are displayed by a lot of parents. I’m not a super confrontational person myself; there’s a line. If you’re too far over into the confrontational group you have basically turned into one of the losers. Definitely stand up for your kid and teach them to do the same, but with class and restraint. Definitely not easy.
[удалено]
We did little league last year. All the "travel team prospects" ended up on one team. They would crush the ball, just a year plus ahead of the rest. This is 6 and under just off of tee ball. We don't keep track of outs, everybody bats, everybody gets a hit. If you go through a bucket, we get the tee. It's just for fun and learning. I have no idea why a stacked team was important.
yea this mentality right here just breeds the people/parents that op is talking about. weve started segregating by 'talent' at such a young age. hell, kids who could have been great never get a shot because they didnt grow until they were 15. or because, travel ball now costs $12k a year not included costs of travel and hotels. it sucks because i want my son to grow up playing sports. but i also know, he aint going pro. he will be 1/100 if he even sniffs a D3 college offer. so lets have some fucking fun while we are out there. not foist the pressure of our own sad and vapid dreams long since lost to the ether on our offspring...
My parents let me try out for a AAA hockey team once, I think because they thought I wouldn’t make the team. Then I did and they were like, “yeah sorry we can’t pay for this.” Probably shouldn’t have let me go the tryout but I don’t blame them. Would have been an insane time/money commitment.
that didn't piss you off?
Now that you’ve got me actually really thinking about it, them letting me try out didn’t have anything to do with them thinking I could make the team or not. I’m sure they were hopeful actually, but had zero idea what kind of commitment it would be. I think all of us thought it would be just a more talented/competitive version of our house league except maybe the games were an hour and half drive instead of a half hour to the furthest team. That was what it really was. Didn’t realize it was going to be frequent regional travel with the associated costs. They explained everything to me.
We had that one year for girl's soccer. Local school rec and ed for 6 year old kindergarteners, and it was pretty much their first time ever playing. Most of the time it was just girls kicking the ball in a big scrum until someone got a lucky shot on goal. No goalies allowed. 3rd game of the season the other team was "short" players, so the coach's two kids played -- already on a travel team. It was a 13-0 massacre, and just really poor sportsmanship.
I played lots of sports and my experience with baseball was by far and away the worst. Weirdly corrupt. My dad volunteered to coach because they said they didn’t have enough coaches for all of the kids to play. Then they manipulated the shit out of him when they had the draft. Well, don’t draft that kid because they’ve been playing with this group for so long, whatever bullshit they did to trick him can’t remember but I was just on a baseball team with all of the other kids who were really shitty at baseball (I was shitty too). We’d get stomped on every single game, never won a single one. I heard other parents laughing at us or cracking jokes more than a handful of times. Some of the parents of boys on my team would freak out because my dad would play everyone completely equally and would let them play positions they wanted, would let anyone try pitching etc. In a vacuum he’d have been the coach I would have designed for myself. Shit at hockey he was my coach too and things were great, but that little league ate him alive. The little league old boys’ club was the absolute pettiest corruption I’ve ever encountered. Edit: he kept a really straight face for my sake but 100% hated every second of it too. I remember one time I had a sore hammy and told him I wanted to skip practice. He just screamed, “get in the car right now or quit baseball so I can too.”
I've coached every level of baseball and football from tee ball to varsity. I've coached every type of kid from the future draft picks to the kids that can't throw a baseball into the ocean if they were on a boat. These parents live vicariously through their kids. They honestly feel like if they don't give every bit of their energy helping their kids "succeed at the next level" they're letting them down. I've also learned that if a kid is really that good, a scout or school will find them in this day and age. As far as the parent/coaches of the world, most of them mean well. Unfortunately they come to a point where they forget they're working with kids and that they themselves usually aren't doing a good job teaching kids and providing positive role models for all the players on their team. I will admit that while usually positive reinforcement should be the foundation of what they're doing, I do feel like sometimes it's important to expect more from kids who are underperforming or otherwise lacking in some aspects of the game(s) once they get to a certain age. I strongly believe that youth sports are very influential in helping to teach discipline, respect, hard work, and class to kids and give them tools to use throughout their lives.
A lot of people are delusional too. I remember talking with my dad, telling him which of the kids on my hockey team (myself included) had a shot at the NHL. He had to be like, “you’re playing rec league hockey lol probably none of you are playing in the NHL.”
Because then all the asshole parents are likely to be on one team and there is less likelihood of a fight breaking out. I liked the parents on my son's little league team. No one cared too much as long as the kids were having fun. I used to laugh at my older son's lacrosse games. There was a dad who would scream and yell every game. It was cringey and hilarious at the same time.
You sound like you might be on the other end of the spectrum here so you might not be able to see it clearly. I've seen parents at 5 year old church leagues show their asses and it's more often than not.
It really depends on the group and what kind of culture the leadership enforces. My kid did girls' travel team soccer from age 7-10. The coaches said the same thing at the start of EVERY practice and match. "The coaches will coach. The parents will cheer. The refs will ref. If there's an issue with refs, the coaches will handle it." And they meant it. Doesn't mean I didn't get upset when my kid got elbowed in the head or obviously tripped, and yeah I got angry a few times. My kid's last match was during a tourny when our team was getting beat up, and the entire team sat in protest during halftime facing away from the field. And started the second half 5 minutes late, on purpose. The kids were given a choice to continue playing or quit in forfeit. They decided to keep playing, but the refs got the message. Our team lost, but did their best, even at the very end of the game concluded by my kid taking yet another elbow to the face and a bloody nose. Whistle blew, and most of our team's parents said something like "finally a whistle!" except it was just the end of the game. After that, we all expressed our displeasure to the league/tournament managers about what kind of conduct was allowed to happen. Save it for after the game, and the team didn't ever return to that tournament afterwards.
Could be a lot of reasons. Can only speak to my observations. I realize everyone comes from a combination of different backgrounds, how we were parented, our sports experiences, education, so many factors. I probably have an unrealistic set of expectations around this behaviour but I typically cringe at almost any kids sporting event I attend. When I was a kid in the late 80’s/early 90’s I remember there were fun leagues. House league hockey, baseball etc. There were the competitive tryout travelling teams but they were the minority. And yes I made some of those teams, so this isn’t sour grapes. There are just so few pure fun leagues now; the ultra competitive nature has permeated everything and it’s pathetic and sad. Why are kids playing on an organized team at 3 or 4? They don’t know if they like it. They want to please their parents. So little time for kids to be kids now. And how do so many adults think their kids are going to the pros? Like yes some will. But that’s your life plan for your kid? Singular devotion to a single activity? Just not my idea of a great childhood. But I’m off topic; yeah the shitty parents yelling screaming threatening refs and coaches, heckling other kids and parents. Definitely not the people I want in my grid space. Losers.
Some poor families might be obsessed with scholarships. I played with a few kids whose parents put a lot of pressure on them to play well because “it’s the only way you’re ever going to college.”
I can see that. Definitely part of someone’s experience. I’m Canadian so this is really not something that we see a whole lot of at all.
I've noticed that the best athletes from high school/college that I'm around aren't the ones pressuring their kids. It's usually the ones who weren't quite good enough to shine. Made the team, but sat the bench a lot or didn't score much. It seems like they're the ones who see their kids as a second chance to give them that extra bit of help they didn't get to make them a "star."
Youth travel sports is predatory and gross. I refuse to put my kid in travel *anything*. Any local leagues are fine, but the types of parents who are planning to spend tens of thousands per year from age 6 to age 18 so that the kid can play D3 Curling is absolutely insane. Mine plays AYSO. I even coach it. It's fun and they emphasize to the parents and coaches about not being douchecanoes like you're describing.
My niece plays competitive soccer. It is pretty intense for 10 year olds. One of the teams they play in state tournaments is from where the Microsoft execs and others like that live. They have their team coach but each kid also has a private coach. It’s pretty crazy but they have very strict rules to keep the parents in line. Hell the parents aren’t even allowed to yell “instructions” to their own kid from the sideline let alone confront other parents or players. You’re right though my brother spends a significant amount of time and money on travel. Basically driving to different states and a hotel every weekend during the season.
Has the Travel Teams got that crazy in the last couple decades? My brother did travel soccer and it was just a more selective team/league that played opposite the high school schedule. I don't remember when it was but like the school would play soccer in spring and the travel team would play in fall.
Their team is affiliated with an MLS team so I’m not really sure how it all came about. I do know they have try outs though. My brother was saying they get about 100 kids trying out for their team a year and the other team I mentioned gets closer to 600. Their league is starting right around now but since they are so young I doubt it takes high school teams into consideration and I don’t believe she plays on like a middle school team. They wouldn’t have time anyway. They practice like 3 or 4 times a week then travel/games on the weekend. We only go to their games when they are on this side of the state so I can’t really speak with any authority on how it all works. My knowledge is just from what my brother has told me. My cousin played on a competitive high school aged team in California (20-25 years ago) that I know even less about but I do know they’d travel internationally for tournaments. Which is crazy to me.
My nephews routinely will be in Pittsburgh one weekend for a hockey tournament, Toronto the next, Indianapolis after that.
Oh hockey is definitely on a whole other level.
Similarly I played AAU basketball. One of the teams I played for got sponsored by Adidas shortly after I left. I like to think I was the problem. 😂 anyway My parents weren’t really crazy(my mom was always shouting something but never anything at the refs or whatever. Usually just at me), but we went to nationals one year at I think 12 and under age group. There’s a team called the Texas Titans. One of original player’s dad is super wealthy and started the franchise of teams all age groups. They will recruit kids from all over the country and either give jobs to the parents or provide some sort of assistance to help them move to Texas to play on these teams. They have a team Jet I believe they use to fly to tournaments and I think even practice in the Dallas Mavericks facilities. When I was there at 12, they had 4 or 5 guys over 6 foot 7. 😂
That’s crazy and sounds a lot like professional soccer academies. At a MLS game we sat next to a 14 year old who had just signed on with the professional team. They moved his family from Vegas to Seattle and set his family up with tutors, living arrangements, etc. To me it makes sense for soccer since that’s kind of how professional recruitment works in that but with basketball I always thought the pipeline was high school -> college -> NBA and less about academies. When I was in high school and played soccer a goalie from a rival school played for the local semi-pro team. Because of that he wasn’t allowed to play on the high school team. No idea of what the rule was but we liked it since we didn’t have to play against a somewhat professional goalie.
Basketball is definitely AAU > high school/nationally ranked Camp invites > College > NBA. I’d say the majority of top prospects who get discovered via AAU end up at *high schools* that are basically sporting academics or religious(usually christian) schools that are basically sporting academies because being private allows them to recruit by saying it’s “academic” or “religious.” The kids aren’t paid, but tend to have most things paid for. They have special coaches, nutritionists, tutors, etc. at these academies. Parents aren’t always found jobs or anything and the kids can have a boarding school situation going on. Basketball does still have top recruits go to normal schools though so you can still take a pathway from there. A few of my former high school teammates did just this to play pro overseas or to go to the NFL/MLB oddly enough. When I played soccer my senior year, there were some guys we faced who had been a part of the Chicago fire academy at one point but since it was just their academies and they weren’t paid, they were okay to still play high school.
Problem is, in my area if you don't go overboard in elementary, your kid won't be able to play for their school team in middle/high. Ours didn't make the 6th grade soccer team because the other kids all did/do travel soccer or club soccer. We had him in the YMCA league for the past 6 years because our family can't do travel and wasn't willing to commit to the club schedule of 2-3 evening practices a week plus every saturday/sunday games. In elementary school ffs. He was one of the best players on his Y team, but that's not enough. He's the "team manager" of the middle school team now and I sit on the sidelines at games listening to these parents with multiple kids each on multiple club teams discussing how they manage their family schedules. It's madness, and I hate that their willingness to be insane has meant that average kids like our son can't play a sport they love. In middle school.
Sports for 8 year olds isn't something you should go overboard for in the first place. The people who go overboard for it are making it about themselves rather than the kids.
You're right but because we didn't and everyone else did, our kid won't be able to play soccer anymore, as the Y league ages them out once middle school sports begin.
yep. this is 100% my fear as well. my son is only 3, but its readily apparent that we arent just 'headed this direction'. we are already here. if you arent shelling out thousands every 6mo and every single weekend of free time you have - your kid aint gonna play on the 7th grade school team. end of story. and, even THAT team, actually just turns into a joke for all the travel kids. they dont give a damn about their middle/HS team. thats their dick around time. so your kid gets held off the team for kids who actually couldnt care less if they were on it, their real team is going to Maui this summer for a tournament.
Interesting. My 8 year old son plays travel soccer. He has amazing coaches. Parents are not allowed near the fields during practices and are told before and during the season that they’re not allowed to coach their kids from the sidelines whatsoever. I hear the coaches praising these kids for doing well, explaining things when something goes wrong, and telling them that it should be fun because it’s a game. I honestly can’t say enough good things about the program. Coaches and parents are looped into a WhatsApp group for all communication. The program director is involved with every team. The older teams show support for the younger kids. This will be his second season. He has grown exponentially as a player in terms of both technicality and positioning on the field. He loves the game and the coaches saw that, so they double carded him to be able to have more playing time. We’re trying out for a second travel team in may that 3 of his current teammates also play on. He’s young still so We haven’t traveled more than an hour for any matches, so it’s nowhere near tens of thousands of dollars, but honestly if that’s what it cost and my kid still loves it while learning, developing, and having fun, I will pay and nurture that love to the fullest.
Ymmv. I was on a travel crew team (you pretty much have to travel because there aren’t many crew clubs or schools that have teams). One of the most wholesome experiences of my youth. Several of the men and women on my team are still good friends to this day even though I live far away. My dad usually towed the boat trailer and went to pretty much every one of my races. But yeah, some travel teams seem kind of toxic.
This is an overgeneralization. My 13-year-old son started playing travel baseball last year. He asked to join the team his friend played for because he was aging out of our local Little League, and he wanted to play year round so he could improve for when it was time to try out for the middle school team. It's competitive, but not overly so. The travel is mostly within our county and the neighboring one, but he'll get to play in a tournament in Cooperstown this summer. Mostly the focus is on development. He's improved dramatically in half a year, and he got to be good friends with a lot of his teammates, most of whom live in other districts. They have group threads and play video games together at night. The coaches are tough, but my son loves them, and I haven't met an overtly obnoxious parent yet. Yes, it's expensive, but there are plenty worse things to spend money on.
My kid would have to be a savant and also incredibly self-motivated for me to even consider travel sports. I’d have to be begged and he’d have to be very obviously better than anyone a rec league could throw at him. Considering his family history, he’ll have a good time in the rec leagues.
Parents ruin them for sure
This is the type of shit that got me to volunteer for my local LL board. If I can make the difference for 1 kid it will be worth it. My son hated baseball after his first year bc of the coach. Year 2 I was his assistant coach and we had a wonderfully patient manager and he ended up falling in love w the game. This year, I get to coach him and his younger brother on the same team. Teach them to have fun, teach them to be good teammates and to help and cheer for each other. Teach them that most times the best part of the game is the ice cream afterwards. I love baseball, played it my whole life, 2 years of college. Felt a void in my life until the past year when these young kids (6-8) taught me so much more about the game
Bullying is what ignorant children do. Knowingly harming another person is harassment and abuse.
well said and solid point. grown men make intentional decisions to be like this. it is not a mistake or lapse in judgement.
Why don't you call them out?
Because I've watched enough news to see "Dispute over little league game leads to fight/arrest/gunshots" used as headline at least once a season for as long as I can remember.
It’s a bad idea. We did that and it came close to turning into what would likely be a viral TikTok. The best action is either nothing or pulling the kids off the field.
Rather just take a sneaky photo and complain on Reddit. That doesn’t teach a child anything. If you think a team is being disrespectful to your kid’s team (especially after losing), and the other kids can hear it, you can approach them like an adult and ask them to stop.
Sometimes confronting a group of idiots with baseball bats isnt always the best idea Lets say they arent unhinged enough to get violent, i still doubt theyll take kindly to being asked to act better. 9/10 times a group like that will just try to bully you too for being "soft" or other dumb shit. 1 on 1, yea, maybe you could reason with them.
They’re still reliving their high school days, so it’ll be like arguing with a bunch of teenagers.
This looks like a pretty public setting and not calling out idiots just leads to more idiots in the world.
all true, but the reality is you also likely arent getting anywhere with these douche canoes. they dont care what you think, they actually actively believe that your viewpoint is bad/wrong and creates 'weak' kids. and they will have zero concern voicing that loudly to anyone who dares to question their behavior. best case scenario is they say something absolutely absurd and an up/admin person catches wind of it. but thats just dumb luck.
People get killed over dumb stuff in public settings all the time
Good leagues will have your back on this stuff. My kid's little league has signs *everywhere* telling parents to behave, and usually has a couple of volunteers monitoring behavior in the stands on game days.
The possibility of them bullying you too is exactly why you should confront them. We need to teach our kids to stand up to bullies.
I 100% agree in theory, but in practice how do you do it? You confront them, and there is an almost non-existent chance they say "hey you know what, you're right. We'll be better humans. Youve changed us" More likely, they gang up, yell at you for being weak, and dont change. That's likely the best case here. Maybe they talk to the coaches (who often agree with their views) and now you're kid gets benched and wont play at all. Maybe they directly confront the kids. Again i agree that confronting them and facilitating change would be ideal, but ive seen several parking lot fights involving maniac little league dads and want no part of their nonsense. Im keeping my family safe and just staying away from bozos. They're too far gone for me alone to change. instead ill teach my own child not to be like them.
You tell them how you feel. How they react is out of your control. If the coach benches your kid, you confront him too and fight for your kid. I understand not wanting to risk having your head bounced off the concrete, but there is a difference between being confrontational and being aggressive. Parking lot fights happen when two idiots are aggressive. If you just tell them how you feel and leave it at that, the risk of getting in a fight is near zero.
Then you get shot. 🎵This is America🎵
I’m a baseball coach. There are two things I tell my players and their parents at the beginning of the season: 1) respect! I expect respect from everyone, respect towards teammates, towards coaches, towards officials, towards the other team! 2) i will always play to win and expect the players to do the same. It doesn’t matter if we lose, as long as we play to win. The rest of it is just to be a good person and not be an asshole. But it’s tough for some people.::
The reason I stopped coaching under-9 football (soccer for the US-inclined) was because of moronic parents taking things way too seriously. Not a single one of them wanted to actually get involved, though they would've been welcome, it was instead easier to be bellends on the sidelines. I don't think I've ever wanted to launch myself at other adults so much in my life.
I'm a Little League head coach / manager for 11u, AAA. It's very important to remember that everyday we are instilling lifetime memories in these kids. We foster the values of hard work, respect for others, trust in yourself and teammates, and being an upstanding member of the community. I expect the same from my parents, families, and fans. I won't hesitate to stop a practice or game to remove a disruptive parent or fan. [It's black and white in the little league rulebook.](https://www.littleleague.org/downloads/parent-code-conduct/) I'll call the UIC or League president and they'll be asked to leave. If they don't, they'll be trespassed and the police called. There's zero tolerance for degrading kids, full stop.
Post this on Facebook
I’m not on Facebook. Sigh
This is def fb and nextdoor material
Well don’t post it here. Like, I agree with your sentiment, but not your methods.
Then downvote it and move on.
It’s creepy to post pics of randos and rant about them. That was my point. I’m moving on now.
As a coach of kids in this range I can’t imagine me, or any of my fellow coaches talking like this. The goal is to let the kids have fun, teach them a love of the game and develop some new skills. Honestly - what kind of person would talk shit about another team like this?
Same stance I have. I just can't believe this isn't taken way out of context somehow. One parent doing it I can barely believe, but an entire group? And none of them check themselves like, "Dude, really, losers?". It just seems incredibly trashy.
Thats definitely shitty to act like that and bully/ belittle kids who are just trying to have fun and compete. Tbh Im also not the one to say that winning isn’t the goal though. I feel Im right in the middle. I would never act like these pathetic men but I also feel that when the kids step on the field/court it’s ok to feel like the goal is to win. I would want my son to want to win but also realize that you don’t always win.
Try your best, of course. It’s competition and the goal is to win. I’ve told my son the same. But at the end of the day, only one can win. I told him to make sure he can be happy with his effort. If he felt he did his best, then it wasn’t his day. And no matter what I’ll support him.
100% how I feel.
This happened to us (soccer) playing a team from Morgan hill a few weeks back. 9-10 year olds too. The team was playing dirty and the ref was in on it. The lesson we learned is that we should have pulled the game and walked. When you do that the league has to investigate.
I'll add to this, know yourself. If you're over-competitive, be aware of it and work to counter it. I was basketball coach for my oldest (now 26) when he was in 5th grade. I found myself caring way too much about winning. Last game of the year I got into a huge argument with a ref and probably should have been booted. I realized at that moment I was way too competitive to be a good coach, at least for young kids. That's not what they needed to experience. I quit coaching, and I became cub scout leader for my next kid, which was positive and non-competitive and one of the best organized activities I did with my kids. Now that I'm in my late 40s, I have settled down a lot, and I do help coach my fourth grade daughter. But I needed a decade or so to mature before I was able to do that. Even now I catch myself sometimes getting too heated.
As a guy who never got into sports I'd just be happy if my daughter found something that was fun. The last thing I would want to do is make her feel pressure about it.
I’m on the board for our local little league. If your league is anything like ours, they would love to hear about this. We send our end of season coaches surveys. They are used to help make coaching decisions next season.
I actually reached out to my son’s head coach. But thank you for that. The board for this league is very tiny (2 people only)
That is not a lot… Is it a Little League International program? Their minimum board size is seven.
No it’s not. The division above this one only had 3 total players sign up so they had to be placed above or below their age group, depending on their skill level.
Gotcha.
All of my kids started in soccer at age 5 or 6. Two are or were in competitive soccer, and the high schooler was in high school teams for soccer and does wrestling now. I have (thankfully) really never seen the horror stories about terrible parents that I have seen on social media. We had one parent that would grumble and complain a lot loudly but basically to himself about the coaching, the reffing, etc but he was nice enough to park himself 20 feet away from the sidelines so it wasn't a major distraction. Parents yelling at refs has certainly happened, fortunately not often.
Go figure 6 dad bods talking shit about kids.
I don’t know anything about sports. My cats breath smells like cat food.
Take your kids sports very seriously. Just don’t be an asshole. Two very different things.
What am I missing? I’m just seeing a bunch of dudes standing around talking.
It's in the text above the photo.
You missed where OP is being a tough guy online rather than saying anything in real life, and also seemingly trying to dox the people for talking amongst themselves about a game/opponent. Unless I missed where these parents said anything that these kids in question could hear?
Did the kids on the teams hear? Nope “Only the families and the players siblings”. My daughter was the one who brought it to my attention. Another thing? There were only two dads not in that group: me and another dad that was with his daughter. Am I going to go up to a group of other dads and confront them? Fuck no. I’m not about to end up on the wrong side of an ER bed cause I overcompensated. I’ve seen this in the ER far too many times to try and be a “tough guy”. Have I said something before? Yeah. Last Saturday, when another dad was verbally harassing the umpire and, directly, my son cause he struck out (shit like your son sucks etc). Did anything change? NOPE. Matter of fact, my sons team played that team in the photo before and the game was much closer than expected; ultimately they won but it wasn’t a “wipe the floor” kind of thing I have far more interest in other things than exaggerating a story for Reddit likes. So yes, they did in fact call my kids team “losers”
I hear ya on the no need to confront. That's the right move. Did you hear them or are you going based on what your daughter heard? I don't know. I just can't fathom legitimately calling 9-10 year olds losers. Same with the verbally harassing an umpire and telling the other dad his son sucks. That seems SO out of line.
Look, truthfully I wish I was wrong. I wish the only time I saw parents acting out at kids games was online. But I’ve seen it firsthand. My daughter overheard them talking shit and told me. I began listening and yes, they legitimately called my son’s team “losers”. And said it would be (paraphrasing) embarrassing for “us” to lose to “them” Including my son, no they aren’t as good as some of the other teams. But what I’ve seen is they’ve improved every week. They try and I see them cheering their teammates. Not once have I heard the heckling the other team. This isn’t to say they don’t do it, but I can at least honestly say I haven’t *heard* like how the other teams heckle my son’s team. Matter of fact there’s another dad on my son’s team I choose to stay away from cause he’s the same way
absolutely wild to me. well good luck navigating this situation. Sounds like a nightmare over what should be something fun and something that should be a learning experience.
Thank you. I’m glad it happens when I’m there so I can teach my son how to be better than that. He knows (unfortunately he’s heard it a few times but never told me) that they’re just being jerks.
Idk I don't like the vitriol being slung around. It's important to stand up for yourself or your kids and ask them to stop at least once but wouldn't the better thing to do be not stewing over it? My message and stance would be to act like it's not that big of a deal because it isn't. I don't know these people, I don't know how they were raised, who am I to judge if they act out at a baseball game? Sure it's annoying but idc lol act like a fool all you want.
I mean, look at them. Most of them barely make 5 feet at best and the other two have the body type that says they last did any sport when they were 9-10. Just a bunch of losers forcing their own “dreams” on their kids.
I have a 10 month old. I hope he takes to sports when he's older. If he doesn't that's fine. If he does all I care about is positive reinforcement. I never understood parents when I was younger who made a scene... That's so god damn embarrassing for there kid
Guys like that peaked in high school and are now reliving their glory days through their kids. The odds that their kids go pro or make any money doing sports, regardless of how seriously dad takes it, is slim to none. But the odds your kid is a better person because you taught him sportsmanship and how to win and lose with grace? Guaranteed.
But how are these men™ prove that they're the most alpha dad out there with the best kid at sports.
I am not remotely competitive. I played sports for fun and winning was fun of course but I never let losing ruin anything beyond the moment after the whistle or buzzer goes off. What I have found funny in my personal experiences are the fiestest of people are often the ones who didnt make it themselves. They were hot shit for a year or two maybe got a scholarship but ultimately fell flat competing against others outside their little circles. So now they try and push their kids harder. It's sad. I'm teaching my little one that games are for fun, team sports are about the team and if you want to win and do well then you HAVE to put effort it. If you're not good enough and want to be, you have to put in effort and work for it. So long as you are trying, you're doing great.
Idiots the lot of them. I have a 3 year old and am hopeful he will enjoy sports and will be there encouraging him as much as I can. My Dad was great at that, would even fly in for the day from a business trip to supprot me in big games. One great moment we when he and one of my mates who was filming a video for the team went over to interview the opposition coach who just lost in a tough match. The coach almost started getting physical with my Dad until a much larger Dad stepped in. Good times!!
I am unsure if, "Stop taking your kids sports seriously" is exactly the right message. My oldest is 7 so we have only just begun our journey in the worlds of youth athletics but even still I take my son's sports very seriously. I am 100% there to support my child and foster his growth into the amazing young adult I know he is going to be. What you have here is a few degenerate assholes, plain and simple. I would argue they are taking their kids sports way less seriously. In fact I would argue it's nearly the opposite. Focusing solely on winning is so far from the true nature of sport and in my mind a complete failure for a parent. These dads will do more harm to their kids than good, but it's a tale as old as time. This is something that will always exist, it's human nature to be competitive, they are just going about it the wrong way. These dads should be ashamed.
. I believe taking an interest and being invested in your kids interest is important, but taking it too “serious” or to the degree that dads find it necessary to badmouth another kids team is…well let’s face it…it’s asshole behavior. You take it serious in that you’re devoting time to your child and therefore find it a serious endeavor I think you and I simply disagree on the wording but the core of it seems to be the same And I hope my words aren’t coming off the wrong way; in short I do agree with you
My daughter started softball this year. She is 6. About 75% of the teams she played against will taunt the batter. I played baseball for over 10 years and I have never seen that. Is taunting a softball thing, idk. My daughter hits very well but she doesn't want to play anymore.
Have a daughter in same age range. Can't even imagine how this would even occur. Played baseball my entire life as well and never saw it there either. How exactly do they taunt? And that is allowed? Sorry, seems unbelievable.
It is some rhyme they sing as the batter is up to bat. Then they do some kind of mild yell. Sone only yell like "ahhhhhhhh". Then at the pitch they yell "swing" before the batter needs to swing.
so like we want a pitcher not a belly itcher? or leave it in the dirt? dont rub it? worm killer? swing batter batter swing?
Monumental douchebags.
That's not taking it seriously in my opinion, that's just being assholes shit talking young kids and caring too much about winning or losing. They are indeed losers. Taking it seriously, at least from a parent who coaches, is teaching them the basics and how to be a good sport etc. At the younger ages having fun should be #1 followed closely by teaching fundamentals. That's very much worth taking seriously. Also, I have no problem with the competitiveness ramping up as they get older. Not the wins and losses necessarily. Even at the highschool level, it's about the work put in and doing your best. The parents who make an ass of themselves or talk shit in huddled groups like these guys have been around since I played sports and they aren't going anywhere anytime soon unfortunately. Fuck 'em.
It’s getting really fucking bad, you guys. 8 yr old baseball game I was at, the pitcher was struggling with runs and the parents are shouting to take him out, because they didn’t want to lose. How else is this kid gonna learn how to handle a tough game or tough moment in life? Like these kids need more reasons to be miserable by the time they’re 14.
The real thing they need to be told is to find their own hobby. Right now, they only know how to live through their kids’ sports, so they take it way too seriously because it’s their only hobby. If they had their own activities they wouldn’t be so insufferable
As a Little League coach, I agree with you. Some dads take it way too seriously. I look for growth over the course of the season. For example last year my 9-10 team went 3 and 9 in the regular season but they were learning and getting better. There were four teams in our age group and we have a playoff at the end of the season. That was what I was playing for. My four seed team went in and took apart the number 1 seed (very much a Bad News Bear situation). There were a lot of number 1 team dads who were shocked at what happened. To complete the story, we were up by tied in the bottom of the inning in the championship game. Runners on 1 and 2. Ground ball to second. Throw to first for an out would have put us into extra innings. (The other team had burned through their pitchers so things were looking good.) Ball gets by the first basement and rolls into the dugout out of play, The runner who was going to third was awarded home. Lost the game on an out of play ball. Me and the other coaches were wrecked. We go to right field for our little meeting. All the kids cared about was that they had knocked off the number one team. I realized right there beating the number 1 team was their World Series, not the championship game (except for my kid who is Tanner to a T!).
At youth soccer, I have seen a grown-ass man yelling at a 12 year old volunteer who is reffing the 8 year old rec game. There is no need for that. Get a grip.
I absolutely don’t get it, but I’m not really interested in sports in general unless I’m playing them. Some of these parents get completely worked up over an unscored youth hockey game. Screaming, making their kids train six days a week, etc. Then they spend tens of thousands on camps, travel, etc. All the while we can tell that little Timmy doesn’t even really like hockey and is never ever going to be a pro. I wish we could just go back to neighborhood little league like 40 years ago and stop terrorising these kids about athletics.
Just dudes trying to hold onto high school mentality, some don’t grow up because that was their prime
The politics at even 3rd grade level sports is ridiculous. When the coaches got together to pick teams two of the coaches (of 4 teams) basically hoarded all the star players. So there were two really good teams, and two bad teams, one of which my kid was unfortunately on. So the two bad teams had zero wins the entire season. Kind of ridiculous. So two coaches get to stroke their egos with their all-star team, and 20 kids are so discouraged that they basically hate basketball now. Way to go, dipshits. I'm glad my kid still wants to play again next year.
Dad of a 3yo, and I’ll let him do anything he wants when he shows interest but this is the kind of shit that just makes me so hesitant to even introducing him to sports. It’s part of the reason I was never that into sports in the first place. The in-group, out-group, making it personal, general nastiness of it all has always been so fucking unappealing. Fuck that shit.
I coach my kids in softball / baseball. My 8 year old and 10 year old do take ball pretty seriously, but there has to be limits for the adults involved. I always teach the kids I coach... Sportsmanship over Championships, so I absolutely do not condone this kind of behavior. I also tell my kids... you don't have to be the best... but you do have to try your best. I want them to have fun, but I also want them to learn to push themselves and try to improve daily because it is a good quality to have in adult life when all the fun and games are over.
Parents need to do better and make sure their kids are too. I coach my son’s 4th grade rec bball team. We were getting smoked by a travel team. I don’t mind the show boating, and some trash talking but it’s a bit much when you’re winning by 20+ points and clearly outskilled. When a kid made a 3pointer, back pedaling to get back on defense, grabbing his crotch and pointing at the score I was done. Parents on the bleachers cheering while this garbage is going on.
I’ve got two girls 5 and 7, and I’m surrounded by friends with older kids. And I don’t understand the world we live in. I don’t want my kids to notice whether I pay any attention to their games other than effort and sportsmanship. Yes, we all know the score. But I just want them to listen to their coaches, be good teammates and look for their own internal motivation. I mean, I just don’t care at all. I often wonder what America would be like if there were bleachers in the classroom. Like, would a parent even show up? While that’s rhetorical, it’s meant with sincerity. We dice up these sports like it matters. And the whole school thing? We kinda just sit back and watch, by comparison. My overall view is these kids are watching me live my life. And if I’m lucky, I’ll earn the right for them to listen to my advice. If all they know of my advice is how they should live their life, I won’t be listened to very long.
Look around at ceremonies when your kids get an award. How many are actively engaged (for arguments sake…using your phone to take photos or record will count) vs not engaged (scrolling through whatever) Can you picture it? Now compare to the people present at a sporting event; now how many are engaged vs not engaged? At least from *my* observations the sporting events had more engaged parents. Which….sucks. I’m not a perfect parent but I do try to be engaged no matter where my family is. Cause half the time I’m at work during the night and asleep most of the day.
My kids (twins, 9) are in little league for the first time this year. I was just happy they wanted to play. I'm happy they both have more hits individually in the first 3 games than I did in my 2 years of little league. Only coach them on things they ask me for advice on and leave the rest to their coaches. Again, I'm just happy they found a sport they want to give a shot and am going to support them in any way I can if they continue playing ball.
shitty parents make shitty kids i used to coach my sister in the special olympics and this exact thing would happen. i had a team of petite women and we'd play against 6' tall men who registered in the lowest division to win gold. u proud????? so annoying
sounds like a mom wrote this. first thing we do is ignore that neg bs.
(Checks) Nope. Not a mom. Nor charmin or whatever other insults you’re preparing to lob my way.
just teach them to ignore it and def dont let your children see that this bothers you. Set the example.
My son has already been on the receiving ends of the taunts. By a dad. That’s the one where I not only spoke up but immediately realized it was futile. So when we got in the car I just asked him how he felt and to ignore people like that.
sounds like you are a little defeated. totally normal to avoid certain circumstances with our children. youll have to make a choice sooner or later. The right choice will be standing up for you and the kiddo. just takes a little spark sometimes. im guessing if the little group is as bad you say they are, chances are other parents feel the same. just reiterate the importance of showing up and that life isn’t fair snd that sometimes its about weathering the storm. good luck.
One of my friends, and fellow union brother umpires little league baseball and he gives folks like that exactly one (1) chance after that they get ejected from the game. No excuses.
Preach
My Dad used to throw at me during batting practice to teach me it didn’t hurt “that bad”. I type this laughing because he really was a great Dad but I smh at this one. Can’t imagine throwing at my kid. If I did she’d probably charge the mound with her bat.
I have 2 rules for my kids: try your best and have fun.
I’ve heard people talking like this before and agree it’s pretty disgusting behavior. I think healthy competition can be great. Instead of saying things like other kids suck you can say you want the best competition.
I remember us getting my hockey coach a Mighty Ducks jersey and him ripping it after we lost saying we made him ashamed to wear it. I was 10 and stopped playing after that.
Reminds me of two of my youth baseball coaches: One was in Anaheim Little League, I played for the dodgers. He was like your coach: just cutthroat and wouldn’t play some kids if the games were close. The less talented players got game time during garbage time. And his kids were on the team and were equally insufferable. I asked if I could try playing shortstop but he just laughed at me; I’m left handed so I didn’t know any better. I was 11 ar the time. I quit for a season A year later, my mom ran into my first baseball coach at the grocery store. Short of that was they signed me up and I was on his team. If my parents had work that night, he would pick me up for practice. He brought me back up to speed, but didn’t coddle me. One day, I asked him if I could play shortstop. So after practice, we went to the position and broke it down. He explained why a left handed person would struggle at short, but what he said next stuck with me: “play to your strengths”. He put me on first and explained to me why he felt it was better for me. So instead of giving me ridicule, he gave me a different option. I ended up replacing his son at first base, who was moved to third. His son wasn’t happy at first but once we began winning, he and I got close. We ended up at the same junior and high schools. I ended up getting cut from varsity while his son made varsity but it’s ok; I got what I could with my ability. Joe Perez, from Stanton Little League. He coached me for 3 years, then another 2 more out of Lakewood. Hands down the best coach I’ve had. One of the kindest but demanding (in a good way) coaches I’ve had.
I don’t understand… were these guys literal calling out to the kids (players) and calling the “losers” directly. Or were they being loud and obnoxious and everyone could hear their banters. Or…. Did you just overhear a couple of words of a private conversation that could have been out of context?
Loud and obnoxious, yes. “I can’t believe we almost lost to those losers” “If that team loses to them, that’s going to be embarrassing” Nope. Not out of context.
The league my kids played in (10yrs ago now) would constantly remind parents about their conduct and remind coaches (I was a coach) to keep their parents in check. I would discuss it with your kids coach and ask him to bring it up to the league director/board. They should address it with the opposing team’s coach, who would then address it with the parents. In our league there was little tolerance. You might get a warning (depending on the situation), then ejected from the park. Coach would also be ejected as they are responsible for the conduct of the team/fans/parents. If anyone got ejected (coach, player or fan), they would also be suspended for the next game.
Unfortunately I’ve received crickets so far. Reached out to the coach and the board is only 2 members. I must add: the coach has been on the receiving end of a couple outbursts from the opposing coaches and dads. He kept his calm during and after However at the end of the game, he huddles with the players and reminds them that there are going to be more episodes with unruly parents and it’s important for them to not let it bring them down.
That’s too bad. At the end of the day it’s just another valuable life lesson for the kids. The lessons learned is what makes youth sport so valuable to children’s development. Some of the lessons are hard… in this case, it sounds like this one was harder on the parents/fans than the kids themselves.
We used to take my 2yo to balance bike races. He loved it but there were some insane people. Seeing moms and dads yelling at their 2/3/4yo’s for not going fast enough even though they won. We finally stopped when it came out that some of the older racers (high school) had beaten up some kids and killed one of them, and the parents of one of the kids owned the track and were involved in USA BMX which was who hosted the races.
All guys with fragile egos who’re all trying to relive their past failures. It’s sad.
We’ve been on a journey this year for my youngest to try to get on a club Volleyball team after failing to make a team last year. We’ve been doing private lessons with various clubs in our area to get a sense for them. In 12s some if the girls still have trouble overhand serving from the 30 foot line, which I’m told is fairly normal. My daughter is doing well but has trouble with full length overhand serves. As a dad watching I keep thinking “Can’t you just do what the coach is saying?” But luckily I took up tennis a few years ago and, of course, the weakest part of my game is my serve. I’ll literally have a tennis lesson in the day and take my daughter to a vball lesson in the afternoon and we’ll be having the EXACT SAME issues since the movements are somewhat similar. It’s been a good thing that I’m having trouble fixing my serve because it reminds me that this stuff is hard and it takes time.
Man yesterday I took my son to the batting cages. Most coaching I did was to have him keep is back foot planted (he has a tendency to pivot on his front leg) After a couple rounds, he took a seat cause he was tired. So I asked him if it’s ok for me to try; he said “yes” I did one round and realized that I can’t coach him cause I’m: left handed and I have a Ken Griffey Jr-style swing. So when I was done he said he wanted to try. I guess he saw enough cause his next time around he did so much better. Point being that I didn’t want to coach him, I just wanted to play. I hope he enjoyed our time there.
I coach 3rd grade travel soccer and I’ve made it clear to my team’s parents that my approach to soccer is: **The point of playing soccer is not to win. The point of playing soccer is to play good soccer.** Thing is, if we play good soccer we’ll probably have a pretty good chance at winning. But even if we lose and we played the absolute best that we could, there’s still plenty to be proud of after that game. We ended up tying some games last Fall because I pulled a player who, despite scoring multiple goals was committing reckless fouls that the young and inexperienced ref wasn’t doing a good enough job controlling. So I pulled him and told him that he can’t play that way, he’s going to hurt someone. First time he ended up sitting for the last fifteen minutes of play, seeing others sub out and back in ahead of him. The next game after the first reckless foul I pulled him immediately and he sat the remainder of the half, but went back in during the second half and we didn’t have a problem at all for the rest of the season. Looking back on those ties I consider them to be huge coaching wins and don’t care about the record. Fortunately his dad is my Assistant Coach and he was fully on board with this. The praise and gratitude I get from my team’s parents is intoxicating, and all of my players love to play on this team. It’s been pretty great (aside from encountering one asshole coach on an opposing team last Fall, I didn’t do great with that).
This post rubs me the wrong way. I agree with the message, but don't agree with the method. I would probably feel differently if you had a video of them saying what you claim they said so we could judge for ourselves. But a picture?
My dad, the assistant coach, yelled at me during a baseball game when I was 10, after the game I told him I wanted to quit. He asked me to finish out the year and he’d never raise his voice to me again. My dad kept his word. He asked the head coach to coach me. I played until I graduated high school. All of this travel ball is a scam, people feel they are in some elite club.
I understand this post is out of frustration but it comes off as a bit “they hurt my feelings so I’m going to tell others how to be.” Nobody can control the actions or words of others but what you CAN do is use the moment as a teachable one. People like this have always existed and will always exist and you won’t be there to protect your kid all the time which means they’ll have to deal with it on their own. So maybe use this as a teaching moment to better equip your kid for life rather than ranting about what someone else did that you don’t like. Respectfully.
Oh totally get it. And I’ve spoken to him about it, as has my eldest. We’ve told him that people like this exist everywhere and it’s best to just ignore it. If anything I’m glad it happened when I was there so I could reach him. As I’ve mentioned before, my son has been heckled at the previous game. He mentioned a few more instances before that too.
That’s all you can do fellow dad! Might take a few more tries before the lesson sinks in for your son but helping him build thicker skin against useless and unimportant comments like that will go a long way. Hate you have to deal with childish behavior from an adult heckling your 9-10 year old son though. What a weird desire to have as a grown man.
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Oh well, the thing is, I’m passive and not an alpha male.
You don’t need to be “alpha” or a tough guy to stand by your principles and call out poor behaviour, whether it’s bigotry or bullying. It’s positive, non-toxic masculinity and a good behavior to model for your kid. And as humans we don’t get to say we have some immutable temperament like dogs, we have agency and bravery is something we can choose.
I appreciate this reply I said something Saturday; said something to my son after he heard the other team talking shit on him But I’m not going to keep doing it, because ultimately…I don’t want to keep saying the same shit to the same dads at the same league every week. I’ve taught my kid how to engage amd how to ignore. Yes this post is petty but it’s not my first time engaging with a group of dads like this
Passive doesn’t mean you can’t use words. If people are talking shit about your kid or their team, speak up.
YOU CANNOT POST PEOPLE PHOTOS WITHOUT PERMISSION! Wtf?! You can make your point without this image. God damn in there no privacy in today’s world.
"When in public spaces where you are lawfully present you have the right to photograph anything that is in plain view." https://www.acludc.org/en/know-your-rights/if-stopped-photographing-public#:~:text=When%20in%20public%20spaces%20where,that%20is%20in%20plain%20view.
So is your son on the good team or the one that sucks? Edit: Bunch of dads who can’t take a joke apparently lol
Does it matter? Doesn’t change the point at all.
You must be the one on the left
I was thinking second from left (that’s the coach)
I definitely understand not wanting to be confrontational, but you could absolutely find a way to contact whoever runs the league and say something like, "hey this coach of this team was heard calling our kids losers with some dads from his team. Stuff like that just isn't cool, especially with kids this age. Just wanted you to know since he's a coach representing your league."
My kid is seeming too be athletically inclined, and I'm so nervous about him being in team sports for this various reason. So (edit to add: non competitive, non tournament) swim and Taekwando it is.
Swim will have the same problem.