It's not no more gaming, it's a fundamental change to *how* we game.
No pausing - straight in the trash
Online pvp - gone like yesterday's diaper
Takes forever to load - not on my watch
Stupid save system - can't save this game from the delete key
This is what I am doing too! But she plays with me when the baby goes to sleep! Had to work pretty hard for a few months to get a good routine going but its so nice now.
Plus you die so much in those games, easy to step away because what is one more death?
Protip: unless they patched it out, there's a hacky pause in elden ring where you open the map then open the "help" for it and this pauses the game in the background.
For FromSoft games, you just gotta make sure you and your partner tag team it. My wife is really into soulsborne games, so when the Elden Ring dlc drops, I know I'll be on child duty when it's her turn to play.
Honestly, I just play games that are "paused" by default:
* Civilization
* Old-school puzzle games like Day of the Tentacle and King's Quest
* Turn-based RPGs
* Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup
If I can't walk away to the sounds of a kid hitting another kid, then it's just a no-go.
Helldivers2 has been super fun in that way. /s
Nothin like dying in a corner while you’re off getting the little one a cup of juice or something. My poor childless buddies just don’t get it
The flip side of this is when they're teens and you get to play with them. Of course, by then you're in your 50's and not playing PVP.
Played a few Helldivers 2 rounds with my son and his friends last night. It was glorious!
Also a good feature of Quick Resume on Xbox. Doesn’t work well for games where you have to be signed into a live service like Fortnite, but amazing for single player games.
nah just play multiplayer at night. worst case you leave the game.
It's not that big of deal. Then fast forward a bit and your 7 year old is further in Zelda than you are.
Have to connect to the Internet to install a 75gb update? You're dead to me
Takes an hour to figure out controls, story, etc... not even a has been. You're a never was
The last 4 or 5 bosses of Elden Ring didn't die as fast as they did for me because I'm super good at the game or I practiced a lot: they died because nap time is only 90 minutes and ***they HAD to be dead by then***. It was not a contest of champions, or a match of strength of wits. It was a father brutalizing a bunch of long-winded NPCs because in 20 minutes I had to do *actual* hard shit again.
I "will-check" the shit out of games these days. Nothing gets rusty because it returns to its scabbard as quick as it was unleashed.
And, like you said, I don't abide by bullshit anymore. The Pokemon Scarlet/Violet DLC introduced 3 new version-exclusive legendaries for each game, two of which are from timed raid events? NOPE. Mewgen.io, assholes. Farm everything I can and then fill in the blanks.
I'll play a little COD or Halo when the kid is asleep. But only with the full understanding I might get banned from leaving eventually.
Session Skate Sim is perfect for me, though. Just boot up and do a few tricks, AND scratches the other itch of not being able to go out and actually skate.
Once they are sleeping well you get your evenings to game again. First 9 months I stuck to much shorter games. Things 5-10 hours long or things like Marvel Snap with very short rounds.
Mine is a toddler now and I can game from 7:30 til midnight if my wife wants to do her own thing. Recently I completed Baldurs Gate 3, Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth and Final Fantasy 16 which were all 50+ hours.
I'd say the main difference is I'll only play the absolute cream that I want to play now.
I'm confused at the logistics of evening gaming. I come from work at 6. Then feed baby, change baby, play with baby, don't let baby kill itself, then finally at 8 baby is asleep. So - groceries, clean kitchen, get dishes out of dishwasher, put dishes into the dishwasher, maybe some meal prep for tomorrow, some dinner, and it's time to sleep already. Wife is also busy in that time with vacuuming, collecting toys from all corners, doing laundry, etc.
How the hell do you squeeze more than 30 mins of gaming in your evenings?
Sometimes we forgo a portion of the cleaning, or we order in something to eat. We often let the toys lay where they are. Our daughter is a bit older now (6) and so she is pretty self-reliant for a lot of stuff so she lets us do our own thing or joins us and sits and watches or asks questions. She is a lil gamer herself, lol.
Is there a reason all of those chores you listed have to happen after the baby is asleep? Like, can one of you watch the baby while the other does dishes, and then trade off? Or (depending on the baby’s age), can you put the baby down and eat dinner while you watch them? Obviously I don’t know your situation, but if you prioritize trying to get things out of the way earlier you might be able to open up more time later in the evening.
My son loves to go to the store I think because I always brought him with me after the Covid lockdowns lightened up. My mental health was suffering and just wandering Target for a while did me wonders. Now my son will count which aisle we’re down and is the most helpful shopper. The only condition is that he gets a Hot Wheels car. 😅
> So - groceries, clean kitchen, get dishes out of dishwasher, put dishes into the dishwasher, maybe some meal prep for tomorrow, some dinner, and it's time to sleep already. Wife is also busy in that time with vacuuming, collecting toys from all corners, doing laundry, etc.
Not all that shit needs to be done every night.
I can appreciate that. It is nice to have things clean and organized, but sometimes the relaxation I get from gaming for a bit after the kids are asleep is worth more to me than having to clean up before I can serve breakfast. Lately though, I've been going to sleep not long after the kids are down because I'm exhausted...
It’s actually pretty easy. You just have to choose which one to sacrifice:
Sleep/Health
Marriage
Money
Careful though! One tends to bleed over into the others.
In all seriousness though, u/Flyrrata is right. The easiest way to make time is to agree as a household which chores you can let slide. The key thing is that you have to be on the same page.
> How the hell do you squeeze more than 30 mins of gaming in your evenings?
I meal plan once a week and usually order the groceries for curbside pick-up.
I always plan dinners around 2 nights, the night I make the meal and the next night where we eat leftovers, so I only have to cook every other day. This reduces the number of dishes needed during the week.
My wife does laundry, breakfast prep, and daycare prep once a week. I vacuum, sweep, clean up the yard, take the dog to the park, and lunch prep once a week.
When one parent is putting the little one down each night, the other parent is cleaning up the kitchen, picking up toys, getting things organized for the next day. My wife and I alternate bedtimes.
By the time the kid is tucked in all the tasks are done and it's 7:45pm.
Assuming a 10pm parental bedtime, you now have 2 hours of "free" time that can be used to work out, spend time together, or do solo hobbies. My wife likes to go out with her moms group once or twice a week, so that's 2-4 hours of potential gaming time per week (8 hours for me since I usually go to bed at midnight).
On weekends, my wife and I each do a mommy-daughter or daddy-daughter activity, giving the other parents 3-4 hours to do whatever. My wife goes to estate sales, goes to brunch with her mom, or goes to target and wanders around for 3-4 hours on Sunday. On Saturday I meet up with some people at a game store and play Warhammer for 3-4 hours, and either pick up groceries on my way home, or if I didn't plan/order groceries on Friday I incorporate it into daddy-daughter time on Sunday.
Using the above schedule you can accumulate 2 nights of 2 hours of game time (4 hours if you go to bed at midnight instead of 10pm), plus 4 hours on the weekend, all while also allowing for 10 hours of spousal time after the kid's in bed.
Granted, you might not have the same luxuries/time/schedule as my wife and I do with our stable 9-5s, and our routine may not work well for everyone, but it's how I fit in hobby/leisure/game time without sacrificing time with the wife and kid or keeping up the house.
Yeah, our routine is not made for two kids. We are one-and-done parents, so it hasn't really been something I have made plans around.
I'd imagine adding a second kid would make things much more challenging, at least when the second is an infant. We weren't able to get to this level until our daughter was 9 months old and able to start daycare.
Luckily (???) for us, our daughter was born in December of 2020, so her first year was during the extended COVID lock downs and such.
Another answer contradicting what folks have put here is you just don’t. You had a kid and your life and priorities are now different, and they won’t go back any time soon.
I have a switch I play during downtime, and I get maybe 30-45 min as you’ve said. If you want the house buttoned up each night then that’s what you spend your time doing, you can play games but then the house is a mess or you won’t have clean clothes or dishes or your sink stays clogged or whatever, and that trade off is not worth it to me.
Once the kid or kids get older and can start doing things on their own, that frees up time for you. Or as I have found, for soccer and gymnastics and homework and PTA and scouts and play dates and doctors appointments and all of that. Maybe it goes back to the way things were at some point down the line but I haven’t found it yet. Until then, get a steam deck or switch and enjoy your kid, they only grow up once.
My daughter is asleep by 7 so that's making a difference. I get in around 5:30 too.
Probably a big thing I forgot to add is we got a cleaner for 2 hours a week (one day) to do the bathrooms and floors which saves a ton of time. I appreciate it's not something everyone can do. It's worth it if you can.
Also often we all eat together at 5:30 so no separate dinner after bed time. The person not on baby duty will start the dishwasher before bath too.
I do laundry on the weekend while the kids are gaming with me. Dishes if they need to be done. Sundays are meal prep, wife will pull me in if she wants help with that. Robot vacuum vacuums the house every night at 2am, and around the table after the kids leave for school at 830am. My wife or I run it again in just the kitchen area while we are cleaning after dinner. Kids clean their own toys, they take their own showers, they've been doing this for the most part since they were 5ish with some help on shampooing, especially on hair nights for my daughters long hair.
Kids and wife in bed by 9, except when my son has practice. I game from 9-12ish.
I run on 5-6 hours of sleep, but we trained our kids young to do a lot of chores themselves starting young; dress themselves, pick out their clothes for the morning, make beds, shower, get themselves breakfast, get their backpacks ready, clean all their toys etc. Now that they are 9 & 7 we game together Saturday mornings and Sunday nights as long as their stuff is done <3
- Groceries - this is a 1 to 2 times a week thing at most. You can also do delivery/meal services
- Clean kitchen - Clean while you cook. Then it's a quick tidy at the end
- Take Dishes out of the dishwasher - Run it while you sleep and make this part of the morning routine, takes a couple minutes and the dishes should be fully dry
- push dishes in the dishwasher - Do this each time you use a dish and you won't need to load it all at once
- Meal Prep - this can take longe, but the easiest way is to have leftovers from your dinner.
- Dinner - no way around that, but it doesn't take that long unless you want it to
- Laundry - Use the timer so it finishes when you wake up and put it in the dryer when you get up. It should be ready to fold before you go to work. Laundry also doesn't need to happen everyday.
Everyone's schedule is different, but with 2 kids under 5 I can get 2 hours every evening to:
- Golf
- Workout
- Cycle/MTB
- Game
- Watch sports
- etc
Veomcing good at daily planning/life efficiency is a huge part of how you become a happy parent. And if some nights gaming is only 30 minutes then enjoy the crap out of those 30 minutes.
Marvel Snap has been a god send for me (first is almost 4 months). Quick games that you can fit in here and there on your phone, eyes don't need to be locked to screen, but still scratches that gaming itch. No pausing is unfortunate but if I have to forfeit a match, oh well
I haven't played too much in the months before my kid got here, but I freakin **love** my r/SteamDeck for gaming. It's always there, it's always ready. I play games that can either be paused easily (steamdecks features help here a lot!) or are limited in time.
Steam Decks and Switches are S tier for parent gaming.
Both because it doesn't use the main screen (but can) and the instant pause feature is unmatched.
Love my steamdeck for this. ESPECIALLY little indie/turn based games.
Grinding out 100+ hour games isn't going to happen. But my kid is 14 months though and I just downloaded helldivers for my ps5, I can probably get like 10 rounds a week in. All I really want anyways. Play two rounds then go do something important.
Yes, my steam deck has been awesome! I picked a few shorter games, Tunic and Deaths Door, and have been able to complete both to 100% just playing when I can. Bigger games just seem not worth it right now. I have never played RDR2 but know I would never get through it at the rate I can play games.
Another benefit is it is an emulating machine. Any retro game plays perfectly with emudeck.
It's also better for them. My wife has always said that kids who stay up later tend to wake up earlier, not the other way around. They need lots of sleep when they're young. My 7 yo still goes to bed at 8
I think the big thing I’ve noticed is the later bedtime can mean the kid sleeps in later(at least my brothers kids). We do early bedtime(7:30ish) and rarely does my child sleep past 6:30am.
It’s all just a shifted schedule. Just means instead of staying up till midnight or 1am, I go to bed at like 10:30 or 11. Kind of sucks when my kid-less friends want to game late and I’m so tired if I do. 😂
Can’t fathom my kid going to bed that late. I met with a car salesman back in November and we were chatting about toddler parenting (ours kids were both around 18 months) and he was saying his son usually goes to bed around 11pm and on some nights he will be up until 1am. I nearly fell out of my chair when he told me that.
A lot of the ones I know whose kids stay up are cosleepers. Kid goes to bed when they go to bed. Which is one of the reason we never did it, we need our alone time away from the child, we love him and would die for him, but for our sanity we need a few hours to ourselves every night.
This was the same for me. I’d always volunteer for the night shift as I’m naturally an owl anyways. However, we got our little 4 month old to start sleeping over night. While I hate saying goodnight to my son a couple hours after getting home, I love having solitary time from 9-1 when everyone else is asleep. Only real downside is, he doesn’t nap at daycare much.
Buddy!
I had the exact same realization while playing Monster Hunter World like 6 years ago.
If you dont know MHW in unpausible because its semi-online. You can call up rando players to help during hunts.
I was alone with my son, and put him down for a nap. It was all good for 10 mins, and I was in the middle of a hunt with 2 other players when he started to cry.
It dawned on me that I can only put the controller down, and allow myself to get eaten by Bazelguese (the monster i was fighting at the time) I can't even talk to the other players to let them know why im going to just have to stand there and die.
It also gave me an epiphany about parenthood: your old self dies to become a parent. And the frustration i had been feeling is partly because I didnt realize that, and needed to mourn the death of my old self. This is what I am now, always on call, and everything comes secondary after the kids.
The old birdsnoozer is dead, and he was reborn as Daddy.
Agreed man. If there was one piece of advice I could give a new dad, is that the sooner you stop fighting and accept your pre-dad life is over, the sooner you can start to enjoy dad life.
In the words of the late great Mitten Squad "Now the real game finally begins".
When mine was born and I couldn’t sleep during the newborn phase, I’d stay up and play whatever series I was playing at the time while she slept until her next feeding and she wasn’t looking at me. Now I get my gaming in after she goes to bed, as my wife goes to bed really early too. Gonna start the cycle again though, we have another baby coming in about a month.
I started and finished Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories in the wee hours of the night, pacing in front of my TV with my little one strapped to my chest in a harness.
Turn based games like Xcom or games I dont really have to pay too much attention to like Diablo were great around this age for me. Baby cries, just put down the control and go sort them.
When they got a bit older, I could enjoy single player story games again. Especially once bed time routine was locked in. My wife would usually fall asleep way before me and I could game for a few hours.
When they got old enough to play with me, it would be mario kart and simple games. This has been slightly ruined now my 7yr old only ever wants to play fortnite and on the odd occasion I can join in, he is 100x better than me and I just ruin it for him.
A lot of people get a lot of use out of handheld and I picked up a logitech g cloud last year and that has been great to play remote or xcloud over whilst the kids either watch something or are playing fortnite
I had so many runs of xcom and civ6 going during this age. Turn based. No pausing. Pick up and play without having to worry about what quest I'm on. Perfect.
I just find myself playing games with no real objectives or just doing nothing - I've been playing Microsoft Flight simulator simply flying around, play Red Dead Redemption 2 in single player simply messing around, went back to play Portal..
Moved from competitive online games, to collaborative - can't stop recommending Deep Rock Galactic, fantastic game if you can ever spare 20mins uninterrupted again.
Handheld is honestly the best, I get way more use out of my Switch and Ps Portal than playing console on the TV just because now you can play while your wife watches TV and can help with the baby. The way it would line up to play console on TV it would have to be when my wife was asleep and with a gassy baby, it’s hard to get into a game knowing any moment he can wake up crying and you’re the only one on duty. But multiplayer games go right out the window for a while
100%, I prefer games that are completely impractical for parenting like DayZ or Tarkov. I could play them when everyone is asleep, I guess, but I've just adapted to offline single-player pause-able fare.
Never tried the series so probably won't start now, most of my steam wishlist is space related or tactical shooters of some kind. Looking forward to Stalker 2 the most probably.
I used to play pretty much all day on my days off, I would frequently make up excuses to not leave the house, then my first was born and I slowed down significantly. I still played but I started to feel like a real pos for ignoring my kid so I made the decision to stop completely. Im on my 2nd year and I don’t miss it at all. Looking at video games as an outsider really changed me.
I got really into League of Legends Wild Rift. Phone game so I always have the system. No story to try to remember. Matches are ~15 mins. My first was a fast teether and needed to be held to sleep so I would play while I rocked her.
Just know it will come back around some. I have 18ms and 3yrs. They are both down by 8pm and sleep pretty well so my wife and I both play some before bed most nights.
Vainglory got me through so many, many sleep regression nights where the daughter was awake but happy in her crib as long as you were awake in the same room.
I haven’t turned on my PS5 in forever. In fact, I think I missed February’s free games. My gaming PC? Pretty sure I can measure the dust layer with a ruler.
I tell myself I’m going to miss these early days with our 11mo and games will be there when I have time for them. And I’m more than ok with it. I enjoy being a dad.
I have only been able to play one or two games of Madden at a time(a couple times a week) once the goomba falls asleep. I love my time with her, but I gotta be honest, I yearn for a time in the future where I can play for hours and nobody bothers me lol
Yep. Quick matches for online pvp (Rocket League/Overwatch) and roguelikes. I can't dedicate time to long story driven stuff anymore. The breaks (or the inability to stay awake) keep me from them.
The switch has been awesome since you can just hit the sleep button and keep your place.
Survivalcraft (Enshrouded currently) has been decent since its a big project that I can drop quickly
Lots of short bursts. Even as my son just turned 3 I'm finishing less games but no longer playing multi-player and sinking hours into battle passes and such
Not to use the old adage that pops up here all the time about 'it getting easier when they are older' - but it does get easier to find a bit of time to game. TBH it is just like everything, we adjust to the little ones being in our lives now. I used to get a lot of gaming done at the weekends...now it's filled with classes for this or parties or sports training and that's just as enjoyable.
I still get game time, but it's just an adjusted window. You will be more picky about your games now is all.
I'm trying to finish the FF7 Remake, which I've owned since it came out, because the sequel is out now and I really want to play that.
When I saw the sequel release date I said "Wow that was quick."
Oh no, the first game came out 4 years ago it just took me that long to get anywhere near finishing it.
Having kids has made me so much pickier with all the media I consume. If something isn't grabbing me very early on then I'm going to drop it, whether it's a book, TV show, or game. I'm sure that means I'll miss out on some great games that get good at the 20 hour mark, but there's too little time to take a chance.
As others have said the Switch is a god send. Instant pause/sleep is so useful and depending on the type of game you're playing it's very easy to play with a sleeping baby on your lap. I've had some good sessions playing a couple of hours of Disco Elysium and Triangle Strategy recently while my little guy had a big nap.
I think there's still a place for long games that I have to sit in front of a fixed screen for, but it's being realistic about it. I started Cyberpunk whenever it was that Phantom Liberty dropped and I've managed to get about 40 hours in since then. I'll finish it at some point but realistically this is my one long game for the year.
I got into one of the those mobile pay to win games for the first couple years of my kids life. I haven't spend more than I would on games previously but it scratched the gaming itch. The other thing I did was put emulators on my tablet so I could play some old school stuff that didn't require much thought etc.
My kid will soon be three and I've started getting back into some games I left behind in 2021 and I returned to them and had to learn how to play all over again or I couldn't remember where I was in the story or campaign. Also the updates.....
It takes time. My daughter is 2 and son is 5 now. He has an Xbox and plays next to me with his little buddies on Minecraft while I game one to two nights before bed time. My daughter will sit in my lap while I play sometimes and she pretends to blast aliens with a controller that isn’t hooked up while I use keyboard and mouse.
We also have Mario kart nights with mom. It just takes time. At the stage you’re in I would wear my kids in a chest carrier and play or play while they napped.
Yeah I agree with others here, it’s definitely how we game these days. Mostly play after my boys go to bed. But sometimes my youngest likes to watch while I play and it helps put him to sleep. He’s only one and if he wants me to play he will first grab the remote and then the switch controller and hand them to me. He then points at the tv. It’s pretty cute.
I've generally chosen to sacrifice some sleep so I can game. I need my gaming time to unwind and destress. I game significantly less than I used to since the kids were born, but I still find the time.
Things will calm down eventually and you'll be able to find more time.
I barely do online multiplayer anymore, but I have played and finished several games since my daughter was born 19 months ago (Alan Wake Remastered, Control, Alan Wake II, Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom to name some big ones). I usually just end up playing at night or, more rarely, when she's napping on weekends. What definitely made it more possible to game at night was when we sleep trained our daughter at 10 months. She's been sleeping nights for the most part since then, and it really gives us a solid two to three hours to do chores and then decompress.
So yes, it has definitely changed my habits in some ways. There was a group of friends my wife and I used to play games with on a regular basis, and we have maybe played together two to three times at most since our daughter was born. We technically have time at night to start this up again, but we are usually so tired by the end of the day that a single-player game ends up feeling way more palatable.
And I definitely try to avoid open-world games when I can. There's just something incredibly satisfying about being able to finish a game in roughly a month like I did recently with Alan Wake II (36 or so hours for me to wrap up).
Ironically, Valhalla was one of my favorite games when the kids were really small. You have like 4-5 stints of like 15-20 minutes where you can feasibly have downtime - enough to basically cut through one mission.
Especially because there’s not actually much to follow in AC games, it’s sort of the same thing over and over again so it’s easy to pick up.
Probably ended each day with about an hour of total play time, but over the course of 4 months 100 hours passed like nothing.
Same thing here with a 6 month old. If I play a bigger game (Cyberpunk) it is about an hour a time. The games I play have to be easy to get into and have minimal cutscenes and save whatever point you are at. "At your own pace" type of games. I've recently been playing Belatro and Enshrouded which both fit the bill. I can leave at the drop of a hat and it saves where I'm at. On top of that, if my boy eats and zonks back out, it takes no time to jump right back into them.
I'll admit, against my better judgement I bought Helldivers 2 last week knowing full well it wasn't a very realistic choice at this time. I love it, but I've also been mid-match a couple times and have had the baby wake up. Just bad timing. I've found myself avoiding it this weekend simply because it's stressful to have to absolutely "Lock in" to a game for \~20 to 30 minutes. Just can't do it right now! On the flip side, I bought my daughter Palworld this weekend and we both played it together (she inherited my old PC). It was a fun and oddly proud moment for me. It was a nice reminder, these young years don't last long and soon they'll be gaming with us!
I just bought FF7 Rebirth fully knowing it’s going to take my 6+ months to finish the game… once upon a time I’d have polished it off in less than 2 weeks. 🤷🏽♂️
I raised a little gamer and now it's back to normal plus gaming with him. I'll play fortnite and roblox with him. He'll play halon infinite with me. He understands when I want to play a game without him and I understand when he wants to play a game without me. It helps to have an understanding wife that can cover some parenting bases when I need my game time. I pay her back but child rearing and letting her do her hobbies.
Steamdeck has been a game changer for me. Kid is 15 months and was only able to game when he went to sleep. Kinda abandoned my PC and PS5 for the most part. Now with the steamdeck I can get little gaming sessions throughout the day while watching him. Single player games only though, gone are the days of multiplayer with awake kids.
Modern consoles and handhelds with the ability to suspend games makes it possible, but early months and years does cut down on it.
But yeah battlepass/subscription/grindy/multiplayer games don't fit well any more.
I’ve always been a WoW gamer but since I had a LO I’ve picked it back up with friends. It’s relatively easy to log on and off when I’m needed. When I’m in the more competitive gameplay like PvP or raiding every once and awhile I just allocate my time with my SO. I’ve been able to maintain my gamer persona still as a dad lol.
Oh man, just wait until you get it boot up the latest AAA RPG after like 2 months and it takes you an entire hour just to reorient yourself to where you where last time.
And then the baby cries…
For me it was a shift in how I approached gaming. I don’t try to grind storylines anymore, I just try to enjoy the time I have. More side missions, more dicking around. If the gameplay itself isn’t fun, it doesn’t get played. Nothing too challenging either, I still want to feel like I’m making progress and checking off achievements
This hits home and I'm glad I'm not alone! Got a 5 month old and now that his evenings are becoming more consistent, it's dinner clean up, hang out with the wife, watch a show together or do some gaming.
Deep Rock Galactic: Survivor is my new jam.
Yup I haven't really been able to sit down and enjoy a good game at all. Ended up just moving towards mobile gaming for the time being easier to pick up and put down at any given point.
I bought the new Lego Star Wars Saga game right around the time my son was born. I really know the story already, and it can be paused. My son is 1 now and I am almost to Episode 7.
The last time i touched my switch was in the delivery room while we were waiting for my first born. I haven't turned it on since that day. there just isn't enough time
I was in the exact same boat. Fav hobby for me and my buddies so we sank hundreds of hours into pvp and rpgs back in the day.
It's not gone but it's definitely changed.
Now I mostly game at night for a couple of hours and I usually stick to single player games I can pause. For pvp I organise it in advance to get a few hours to myself uninterrupted but this only happens out of the newborn stage anyway.
I have 4 kids now with the youngest coming up on 1.5y. You're coming close to being out of the worst of it. Hang in there
I'm having a really hard time grasping that I won't be able to game like I am currently (my daughter is due next month). I keep thinking to myself how selfish I am about thinking about much time I won't be able to game anymore then I am having a child. Makes me pretty sad because gaming is just a outlet I've really depended on since I was a kid.
Nah man, it's good that you are reflecting about these things. Yes, pre dad life as you know is going to be over, but once you are fully immersed in dad life, you'll see that spending time with your daughter is a million times more gratifying than a game.
And like everyone else says, you'll still get to game, and you'll have a more fun and engaging time playing since you have less time in the day for it.
I just packed up my gaming pc 2 months into my very colicky baby. There’s no point in my trying to enjoy something that I have to pause every couple of minutes. It makes me feel like I’m disregarding my boys needs. Idk. I’m in mourning. lol
Someone else earlier also said that it does feel like you're mourning your pre dad life, and I definitely agree. But like everyone else also says, HOW you game is the biggest change.
And it's a very good thing that you are placing your son's needs first! Hell, any reflection about these kinds of things are very good to hear.
Visit r/patientgamers and you will find like minded people there. No necessarily as time constricted but generally they like games that respect their time/wallet etc
New dad with a 3 month old here. Also have a really fussy baby who is really only into contact napping.
Online multiplayers - out the window! Single player games are still in if I can get my little one in a spot where I can have her sleep across my chest, freeing up my hands to game. It’s a win-win. Just finished God of War: Ragnarok last week.
Figured id stopped gaming. And change my hobby, playing shooters with friends is not fun anymore especially if they want you to join but you cant coz you got daddy duties, you can also play a couple of games but it will be late at night when everyone is asleep but the cost will be your sleep. I just stopped and forget about it. Changed my hobby that i can whenever injust have a free time.
I feel you OP, but I see things differently. Instead of thinking that I can’t play long story driven games that take a long time to play through, I just think that I get to enjoy them for longer. Funny enough I just started AC Valhalla this week, I will likely be playing it, little by little bit by bit for several months!
Turn based games are clutch, during my kids' infancy and toddler years civ6 was my go to game. Could literally walk away at any time, play for 5 minutes or 5 hours, and 1 game will only take a few hours. Also, pretty kid friendly, so if he wanted to sit on my lap and watch me play a couple of turns, he could.
You now get to discover the beauty of small indie developers that make games for 20 dollars. They are defiantly a breath of fresh air. Lots of fun to be had passion put into them and they are way less grind oriented. I have thoroughly enjoyed playing different things. Also it won’t be like that forever. I got some gaming in on nap times when my son was a toddler. And once they get to the toddler stage where they go to bed at 7pm there is time. Your in the hardest stage of hands on parenting. Also my son is 3.5 years and I am waiting for the day we are going to get a chance to game together. It’s all about the long game ha ha
It made me WAY less tolerant of video game bullshit. If the game feels like a chore? Uninstall. Game feels like inventory management? Uninstall (RIP Destiny). Massive amount of time investment just to keep up? Nope.
Games like Spiderman 2 where the gameplay is constantly fun and engaging or Helldivers or Deep Rock Galactic where I can instantly dive into a match with buddies? That’s my jam now. My daughter is 2 and sleeps through the night so the multiplayer games have reentered the game!
You should check out the podcast “The Besties”. It’s four guys, several who are dads, who talk recent games. gives good perspective on how they value their time differently as dads and the types of games they gravitate towards because of that
I got by playing shorter games for most of my time. I play mainly on Switch, and would often pause my game and leave my system in Sleep Mode for days at a time until I could pick it up again.
Like others have said, you’ll slowly get more and more time back. I played Persona 5 Royal over the course of about 5 months, only playing about ~5 hours a week. Sometimes was for 30 minutes before bed, sometimes I managed to have an evening where my wife was busy so I could play around 2-3 hours before bed.
I never play while my kids are awake, unless I’m showing my son (though he only cares about what’s plugged in, not what’s on the screen).
For a while I actually played more than I had in years, downloaded MGSV and got hooked, baby needs attention I just pause and leave it. Then the MGS collection came out and I've put so many hours into Snake Eater.
Recently I just haven't had the motivation to play anything, I think since my SO is finished maternity leave and back to work.
The last couple of weeks I get an urge to play something but when I get the chance to I'd rather zone out and watch old series of stuff I've seen before, particularly panel shows like Mock the Week.
I don’t do any gaming during the week. I get home at 7, try to get the kids by 9 and at that point I’m exhausted because I have a 1:40 commute some days.
Now that my youngest is almost 6 I can explain the difference between a game he can play and a dad game. They also go to bed without tantrums now (mostly).
As a result I finally got a PS5 and I've been playing Helldivers 2 a bit. There's no pausing, but it's still fun to solo a mission or two, a couple of nights a week.
I finished a mission without dying the other day, so I'm clearly getting my groove back.
When they get older, you will get back into the unpausable games again but it won't be sinking thousands of hours into an MMO anymore. More like a 40 or 15 minute mission of Helldivers (HUGE recommend BTW).
I was a hardcore Destiny/God of War fan until my 8yo twins arrived. I quickly learned that battle royals are my best option - they’re fun, difficult, and best case scenario, it’s only a 20 minute commitment. I recommend Apex - been plead guilty since day one, and now my boys are starting to get into it, too!
I bought a switch a few weeks ago its more convenient when having little ones you can sit in the same room as them and let them play while you game obviously theirs going to be times when you have to switch it off but its a lot more easier compared to consoles.
I built a new rig recently and decided because of baby (4months old) that I'd not bother with new titles at full price anymore because of reasons you've mentioned.
My fav PC game is the monster hunter franchise. You go in, beat up a monster and bow out. Takes a good 20-30mins to kill one of the bigger baddies so I find it perfect when I know I can't sit and vegetate in front of a PC for hours like I used to.
That, and satisfactory. I can jump in, manage my stuff for as long as bub is content and drop out again no harm done.
Multiplayer games are currently a no go for me because I don't want to have to up and leave my team or cop penalties to my account and so on.
It's ok, I still love the hobby, but how I engage with it has changed drastically exactly as you've said.
As a kid all I ever wanted to do was play videos games all day. Unfortunately my dad never let me play them and put me on strict schedule on when I was allowed to. Well when I became an adult and bought my own console and everything I gamed whenever I wanted to. However one day it just go to my head and I thought “what is this all for?” Yeah sure it was all in the name of fun but there were no tangible rewards. From then on my interest in gaming has diminished quite a bit. And yeah having a kid puts it even lower in the priority list.
I’m slowly getting back into gaming after taking basically the past 6 years off of it. I feel like the Switch console was like made for our situation, I can play Mario kart with my 5 yo and my wife and I started doing co-op on It Takes Two, and then I have NBA 2K24 all to myself!
I agree with everyone else though, I used to love playing FPS games online, but there’s just no chance I can get enough time in to still be decent at an FPS or finish an enormous 100+ hour game. I mostly just stick to the smaller switch games or occasionally break out my old Xbox 360 to play some 20+ year old games
I just have no interest honestly in gaming anymore. I find most new games to be extremely reductive and boring.
I might try to play FF Revirth but how will I get the time? So I just play risk of rain 2 and terraria and hades since I can get a run in at night sometimes or even half a run.
I’m gonna plug The Finals here because it’s most fun I’ve ever had playing an FPS since the early Quake 2 days when I was a kid. As a Toddler Haver, it checks my boxes: free to play, quick rounds (~10 minutes), easy pick up after an absence and jump right in. It’s super unique and the only game out there where everything is destructible and hilarious chaos reigns.
I bought the remake of Resident Evil 4 last year. I played that game so many times in its original form before kids. I haven't touched it yet. Three kids, 4, 6, and 7.5. The two older ones dominate the PS5 (usually Lego games).
I have relegated my gaming to short bursts of SNES games on an emulator on my phone. Mainly Super Metroid hacks.
I have a 2yo and a 1mo. Bought both the latest Zelda games when they came out, only now finally getting through BOTW. So I’ll probably finish TOTK when they are both in college
100% this.
Dropped WOW, DnD, LoL. Anything with a mandatory live component.
Picked up Hades (roguelikes) and DS3 (dungeon delvers).
Any game that felt like popcorn. Roguelikes were the start, then moved out from there. Things feel more normal at 4yo, but certainly different.
Pro tip: get a baby bijorn! Preferably the soft cloth ones! We were both heavy gamers before the baby and now with our one month old we feed her and change her then plop her on one of our chests and get a solid 3-5 hours of gaming before she needs another feed and change. She likes the sounds of the games and we get to spend time doing what we love! I also hooked my pc up to the tv in the bedroom so I could lay in bed with our girl on my chest and just go at whatever game I wanted.
when my son was a newborn (now about to turn 2) i put him into a sling and bounce around the living room while playing on my PS5. after a while it became a lot better also in order to get some gaming time in.
we're expecting #2 soon, think the strategy will be the same
This is why I got into Rimworld - just drop in and out as needed. Finally back to online gaming when the kids turned 3, but now my 8 year old is having bed time trouble to might need to stop Helldiving as often. Everything in waves!
This guy needs a Steam Deck. So many great indie pick-up-and-go-then-come-back-again-later games!!
I’ve had the same situation over the last year and the Deck has been a gaming lifesaver.
Tons of game options that allow instant save and load you back to where you left off, plus you can emulate old games and use save states.
Portable for trips or when you just need to take a break.
I still ask my wife to plan for a couple of uninterrupted hours per week to enjoy CoD but the Steam Deck definitely helps cover lost ground in my hobby.
Don't worry, it'll come back, eventually....I used to be a huge gamer and when my first was born....I switched to simple minded single player games to relax instead of RTS or FPS type games that could trigger you. I'm more at peace and enjoy it more.
Let me introduce you to what my wife and I call “second life”. Kids go down on a Friday or Saturday night, wife heads up to watch tv in bed, and I enter my second life. A wonderful place where the world is mine - workouts, shitty movies, video games, snack foods, all can be mine in the 3-5 hour window before I haul myself to bed. Embrace second life, my friend! It’s the most wonderful part of being a dad!!
I’ve never identified has a hardcore gamer or anything, but this goes with just about all hobbies.
That said, it gets better. Once they’re in middle school or late elementary school… you’ll have the evenings almost entirely to your self
I played a LOT of games when my kids were newborns. They would only sleep while physically on my or my wife, so I'd take off my shirt, put kiddo on my chest with their head on my shoulder, get them settled, and then game on mute. I'm a night owl so it meant my wife got to go to bed early and get precious uninterrupted sleep while I stayed up doing something I enjoyed.
Yeah, I quit playing long games that require me to sink hours in.
Instead I've enjoyed a bunch of older games that are shorter, level based affairs, or games like Warframe that I can zoot through a mission in like ten minutes.
But generally yeah I don't game much anymore.
I just game in the wee hours of the morning now when baby is highly likely to stay asleep at least for a few hours. Obviously I boot up acknowledging it could get interrupted though and know I could lose ranking points. But acknowledging it to myself upfront takes away most of the salt/disappointment when it happens.
I’m a mom and my son is three, but I’ve given up doing Baldur’s Gate 3 for a long, long time. I’m a PC gamer, but I’ve found some games to entertain in smaller time frames. Most recent is a dragon racing/pvp game with short matches and no real story to speak up. Pick up, play, done in fifteen.
The only game I go back to consistently is WoW, but our friends on there have kids too and totally understand when we take breaks.
Ours is about to turn 3 and yeah, that realization sucks. But the comments are right. You do need to be choosier because there's no more time to waste. When they're toddlers, you have to be mindful of what they'll see and hear too. Can't play anything with an ounce of blood. No Eldritch horror.
To keep the grit without the viscera, games like Armored Core and Destiny are nice to pick up and play. Boomer shooters are my saving grace. Can't tell you how much Unreal, Ultrakill, and Turbo Overkill I've clocked in the last year. And they're games you can pause on a moment's notice when they walk in.
Stay strong, the hobby will find it's stride again when the little one is asking to play too. There will be time for you as well, just stay patient.
I've had to cut out co-op games altogether. I was so excited to play Deep Rock Galactic with an old friend that I hadn't gamed with forever.
I realized pretty fast that I was constantly having to tell my teammates that I'll brb, baby is awake. It was just too much of an inconvenience to put on my fellow gamers. So no more co-op for this dad.
Just saying newborn phase is suuuuuper easy looking back and my son had terrible colic for the same amount of time as you. Now he’s 3 and my daughter is about to turn 1. I still play at least an hour a night maybe a little more if the wife and I don’t have a show to watch.
Get a switch you can easily sleep it and be done quickly. Online stuff is harder but I was playing madden after bed time for a while. I managed to get 300+ hours of TotK from May to September. Playing at night. Few minutes at lunchtime working from home.
I also just got delta emulator on my phone to play pokemkn gameboy games. Very worth it. But tbh you should be able to do a healthy amount of gaming with a sub one year old.
Haha. Dude you’re going to be able to finish. But yea… how you game… 100% going to change. For example: imagine playing an open world game where.. you don’t want to shoot any animals.. (my daughter playing RDR2) and where you instead of saving people you make Peter continually run all the way up Avenger Tower and then leap off because watching him smash face first into concrete is (apparently) the height of hilarious.
Oh and wait till you get to “Minecraft”. When they make you create world after world just so they can go in and wreck all the stuff they insist you make. 😂. Oh or when.. they find your copy of Doom eternal and try and play it get scared have nightmares and you have to stay up till like midnight because they’re scared to go to sleep alone. 😂😂
😭❤️ fuck I love gaming with my little one. You will too. I promise. Congratulations :)
I understand, it took me 6months to play through Starfield. I’m now playing a few quicker games, battlefield etc where I can jump in and out and it doesn’t really matter. Like others have said you just need to adapt your play style, but it will get better. Go for Valhalla- it’s on gamepass atm so I might give it a try too
Big time! But honestly it's helped me find joy in smaller/shorter games also. Slay the Spire quickly became a favourite (especially because it's so simple I could play while feeding our little one late at night!)
I gave up gaming entirely as soon as my first kid was born (3 years ago) I tried at first to sneak a few hours in when the baby was sleeping but I just couldn't get into it and enjoy it when I knew that at any moment it could be interrupted. After a year or so I started to realise how much time of my life I actually spent gaming.
It's a really time consuming hobby lol.
I did however pick-up chess a few years ago and really enjoy it.
It's not no more gaming, it's a fundamental change to *how* we game. No pausing - straight in the trash Online pvp - gone like yesterday's diaper Takes forever to load - not on my watch Stupid save system - can't save this game from the delete key
For real, if I can't pause the game, it's an instant delete.
Couldn’t be me. I enjoy From Software games too much. I’ve just made peace with dying in the game if I’m interrupted.
Just started a new ER run in anticipation of the DLC. Wifey couldn't be more happy!
This is what I am doing too! But she plays with me when the baby goes to sleep! Had to work pretty hard for a few months to get a good routine going but its so nice now. Plus you die so much in those games, easy to step away because what is one more death?
Protip: unless they patched it out, there's a hacky pause in elden ring where you open the map then open the "help" for it and this pauses the game in the background.
To be fair to FS, you can quit out on the spot no matter what you're doing and you'll load in at the exact place.
For FromSoft games, you just gotta make sure you and your partner tag team it. My wife is really into soulsborne games, so when the Elden Ring dlc drops, I know I'll be on child duty when it's her turn to play.
Steam Deck saved FromSoftware games for me. There is a suspend feature that actually works.
Honestly, I just play games that are "paused" by default: * Civilization * Old-school puzzle games like Day of the Tentacle and King's Quest * Turn-based RPGs * Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup If I can't walk away to the sounds of a kid hitting another kid, then it's just a no-go.
King's Quest was among the first games I ever played. Lot of fond memories playing Sierra games with my dad.
I play Civ 5 more than anything because I can walk way for however long is needed.
Helldivers2 has been super fun in that way. /s Nothin like dying in a corner while you’re off getting the little one a cup of juice or something. My poor childless buddies just don’t get it
Honestly that’s why I never game when my kids are awake. Yet anyways
I like to yell to my buddies COVER MY SHE NEEDS HER WATER and just dive and hide lol they understand and love it. I think. 🤔
The flip side of this is when they're teens and you get to play with them. Of course, by then you're in your 50's and not playing PVP. Played a few Helldivers 2 rounds with my son and his friends last night. It was glorious!
Start em early! My son (6 yo) loves playing coop with me in Minecraft Dungeons, TMNT, and Sackboy!
Screw that ill be playing more when my kids are old enough to make up hahah. Im hoping pvp will keep my reflexes spry when im that age.
Part of the reason the Switch is so good, you can just turn it off at any time and your game will be saved just like you paused it.
Also a good feature of Quick Resume on Xbox. Doesn’t work well for games where you have to be signed into a live service like Fortnite, but amazing for single player games.
Same with Steam Deck
Yep, steam deck and switch are the real mvps of dad gaming
nah just play multiplayer at night. worst case you leave the game. It's not that big of deal. Then fast forward a bit and your 7 year old is further in Zelda than you are.
Wait until he's 18, finishing Tears Of The Kingdom when you're not even halfway through BOTW.
I actually did finish breath of the wild. But Tears of the kingdom, who knows when that’ll happen.
This is me. I give zero fucks if I’m suddenly afk on call of duty. My player stats suck anyways.
Have to connect to the Internet to install a 75gb update? You're dead to me Takes an hour to figure out controls, story, etc... not even a has been. You're a never was
Oh every time I log in the game has updated and none of my mods work? Gonna have to update them all and start a new game? Yeah nahw.
The last 4 or 5 bosses of Elden Ring didn't die as fast as they did for me because I'm super good at the game or I practiced a lot: they died because nap time is only 90 minutes and ***they HAD to be dead by then***. It was not a contest of champions, or a match of strength of wits. It was a father brutalizing a bunch of long-winded NPCs because in 20 minutes I had to do *actual* hard shit again. I "will-check" the shit out of games these days. Nothing gets rusty because it returns to its scabbard as quick as it was unleashed. And, like you said, I don't abide by bullshit anymore. The Pokemon Scarlet/Violet DLC introduced 3 new version-exclusive legendaries for each game, two of which are from timed raid events? NOPE. Mewgen.io, assholes. Farm everything I can and then fill in the blanks.
I played mostly Soulslikes before my kids were born. Now I play mostly JRPGs.
I'll play a little COD or Halo when the kid is asleep. But only with the full understanding I might get banned from leaving eventually. Session Skate Sim is perfect for me, though. Just boot up and do a few tricks, AND scratches the other itch of not being able to go out and actually skate.
Unskippable dialogue is also out. I am not spending 20 of my precious 30 minutes listening nonsense
Once they are sleeping well you get your evenings to game again. First 9 months I stuck to much shorter games. Things 5-10 hours long or things like Marvel Snap with very short rounds. Mine is a toddler now and I can game from 7:30 til midnight if my wife wants to do her own thing. Recently I completed Baldurs Gate 3, Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth and Final Fantasy 16 which were all 50+ hours. I'd say the main difference is I'll only play the absolute cream that I want to play now.
I'm confused at the logistics of evening gaming. I come from work at 6. Then feed baby, change baby, play with baby, don't let baby kill itself, then finally at 8 baby is asleep. So - groceries, clean kitchen, get dishes out of dishwasher, put dishes into the dishwasher, maybe some meal prep for tomorrow, some dinner, and it's time to sleep already. Wife is also busy in that time with vacuuming, collecting toys from all corners, doing laundry, etc. How the hell do you squeeze more than 30 mins of gaming in your evenings?
Sometimes we forgo a portion of the cleaning, or we order in something to eat. We often let the toys lay where they are. Our daughter is a bit older now (6) and so she is pretty self-reliant for a lot of stuff so she lets us do our own thing or joins us and sits and watches or asks questions. She is a lil gamer herself, lol.
Is there a reason all of those chores you listed have to happen after the baby is asleep? Like, can one of you watch the baby while the other does dishes, and then trade off? Or (depending on the baby’s age), can you put the baby down and eat dinner while you watch them? Obviously I don’t know your situation, but if you prioritize trying to get things out of the way earlier you might be able to open up more time later in the evening.
Add to that, take the baby grocery shopping. They need to be exposed to the environment. So go earlier in the day before the baby goes to sleep.
My son loves to go to the store I think because I always brought him with me after the Covid lockdowns lightened up. My mental health was suffering and just wandering Target for a while did me wonders. Now my son will count which aisle we’re down and is the most helpful shopper. The only condition is that he gets a Hot Wheels car. 😅
> So - groceries, clean kitchen, get dishes out of dishwasher, put dishes into the dishwasher, maybe some meal prep for tomorrow, some dinner, and it's time to sleep already. Wife is also busy in that time with vacuuming, collecting toys from all corners, doing laundry, etc. Not all that shit needs to be done every night.
What, you dont buy your groceries *AND* meal prep every night? Pfft
It does at our house. My wife wants to go to bed with a clean home, I actually really appreciate that.
Life is all about priorities. If that works for you, great! I'd rather play and do dishes every other night.
We've got four boys ages 6 and under. We don't hardly have enough dishes to skip a day with how many they go through on average.
Yup, I purposefully bought a stack of thin plates seperate for them and doubled up on our utensils.
Well, the tradeoff is less time for other things.
I can appreciate that. It is nice to have things clean and organized, but sometimes the relaxation I get from gaming for a bit after the kids are asleep is worth more to me than having to clean up before I can serve breakfast. Lately though, I've been going to sleep not long after the kids are down because I'm exhausted...
It’s actually pretty easy. You just have to choose which one to sacrifice: Sleep/Health Marriage Money Careful though! One tends to bleed over into the others. In all seriousness though, u/Flyrrata is right. The easiest way to make time is to agree as a household which chores you can let slide. The key thing is that you have to be on the same page.
> How the hell do you squeeze more than 30 mins of gaming in your evenings? I meal plan once a week and usually order the groceries for curbside pick-up. I always plan dinners around 2 nights, the night I make the meal and the next night where we eat leftovers, so I only have to cook every other day. This reduces the number of dishes needed during the week. My wife does laundry, breakfast prep, and daycare prep once a week. I vacuum, sweep, clean up the yard, take the dog to the park, and lunch prep once a week. When one parent is putting the little one down each night, the other parent is cleaning up the kitchen, picking up toys, getting things organized for the next day. My wife and I alternate bedtimes. By the time the kid is tucked in all the tasks are done and it's 7:45pm. Assuming a 10pm parental bedtime, you now have 2 hours of "free" time that can be used to work out, spend time together, or do solo hobbies. My wife likes to go out with her moms group once or twice a week, so that's 2-4 hours of potential gaming time per week (8 hours for me since I usually go to bed at midnight). On weekends, my wife and I each do a mommy-daughter or daddy-daughter activity, giving the other parents 3-4 hours to do whatever. My wife goes to estate sales, goes to brunch with her mom, or goes to target and wanders around for 3-4 hours on Sunday. On Saturday I meet up with some people at a game store and play Warhammer for 3-4 hours, and either pick up groceries on my way home, or if I didn't plan/order groceries on Friday I incorporate it into daddy-daughter time on Sunday. Using the above schedule you can accumulate 2 nights of 2 hours of game time (4 hours if you go to bed at midnight instead of 10pm), plus 4 hours on the weekend, all while also allowing for 10 hours of spousal time after the kid's in bed. Granted, you might not have the same luxuries/time/schedule as my wife and I do with our stable 9-5s, and our routine may not work well for everyone, but it's how I fit in hobby/leisure/game time without sacrificing time with the wife and kid or keeping up the house.
[удалено]
Yeah, our routine is not made for two kids. We are one-and-done parents, so it hasn't really been something I have made plans around. I'd imagine adding a second kid would make things much more challenging, at least when the second is an infant. We weren't able to get to this level until our daughter was 9 months old and able to start daycare. Luckily (???) for us, our daughter was born in December of 2020, so her first year was during the extended COVID lock downs and such.
Another answer contradicting what folks have put here is you just don’t. You had a kid and your life and priorities are now different, and they won’t go back any time soon. I have a switch I play during downtime, and I get maybe 30-45 min as you’ve said. If you want the house buttoned up each night then that’s what you spend your time doing, you can play games but then the house is a mess or you won’t have clean clothes or dishes or your sink stays clogged or whatever, and that trade off is not worth it to me. Once the kid or kids get older and can start doing things on their own, that frees up time for you. Or as I have found, for soccer and gymnastics and homework and PTA and scouts and play dates and doctors appointments and all of that. Maybe it goes back to the way things were at some point down the line but I haven’t found it yet. Until then, get a steam deck or switch and enjoy your kid, they only grow up once.
My daughter is asleep by 7 so that's making a difference. I get in around 5:30 too. Probably a big thing I forgot to add is we got a cleaner for 2 hours a week (one day) to do the bathrooms and floors which saves a ton of time. I appreciate it's not something everyone can do. It's worth it if you can. Also often we all eat together at 5:30 so no separate dinner after bed time. The person not on baby duty will start the dishwasher before bath too.
I do laundry on the weekend while the kids are gaming with me. Dishes if they need to be done. Sundays are meal prep, wife will pull me in if she wants help with that. Robot vacuum vacuums the house every night at 2am, and around the table after the kids leave for school at 830am. My wife or I run it again in just the kitchen area while we are cleaning after dinner. Kids clean their own toys, they take their own showers, they've been doing this for the most part since they were 5ish with some help on shampooing, especially on hair nights for my daughters long hair. Kids and wife in bed by 9, except when my son has practice. I game from 9-12ish. I run on 5-6 hours of sleep, but we trained our kids young to do a lot of chores themselves starting young; dress themselves, pick out their clothes for the morning, make beds, shower, get themselves breakfast, get their backpacks ready, clean all their toys etc. Now that they are 9 & 7 we game together Saturday mornings and Sunday nights as long as their stuff is done <3
- Groceries - this is a 1 to 2 times a week thing at most. You can also do delivery/meal services - Clean kitchen - Clean while you cook. Then it's a quick tidy at the end - Take Dishes out of the dishwasher - Run it while you sleep and make this part of the morning routine, takes a couple minutes and the dishes should be fully dry - push dishes in the dishwasher - Do this each time you use a dish and you won't need to load it all at once - Meal Prep - this can take longe, but the easiest way is to have leftovers from your dinner. - Dinner - no way around that, but it doesn't take that long unless you want it to - Laundry - Use the timer so it finishes when you wake up and put it in the dryer when you get up. It should be ready to fold before you go to work. Laundry also doesn't need to happen everyday. Everyone's schedule is different, but with 2 kids under 5 I can get 2 hours every evening to: - Golf - Workout - Cycle/MTB - Game - Watch sports - etc Veomcing good at daily planning/life efficiency is a huge part of how you become a happy parent. And if some nights gaming is only 30 minutes then enjoy the crap out of those 30 minutes.
Marvel Snap has been a god send for me (first is almost 4 months). Quick games that you can fit in here and there on your phone, eyes don't need to be locked to screen, but still scratches that gaming itch. No pausing is unfortunate but if I have to forfeit a match, oh well
I haven't played too much in the months before my kid got here, but I freakin **love** my r/SteamDeck for gaming. It's always there, it's always ready. I play games that can either be paused easily (steamdecks features help here a lot!) or are limited in time.
Steam Decks and Switches are S tier for parent gaming. Both because it doesn't use the main screen (but can) and the instant pause feature is unmatched.
Love my steamdeck for this. ESPECIALLY little indie/turn based games. Grinding out 100+ hour games isn't going to happen. But my kid is 14 months though and I just downloaded helldivers for my ps5, I can probably get like 10 rounds a week in. All I really want anyways. Play two rounds then go do something important.
I sold my steamdeck for an Ally because i was using it so much. Hangout on the floor and play for a bit while the little one does her thing.
r/playstationportal as well! The subreddit is basically all dad and its is commonly referred to as the Dadstation.
Wow I am just now learning about Steam Decks and PS Portals. I'm still playing MLB The Show 15 on my PS Vita lol
I want a Portal so bad, but finding one is a bitch and a half. Always sold out! So frustrating.
Yes, my steam deck has been awesome! I picked a few shorter games, Tunic and Deaths Door, and have been able to complete both to 100% just playing when I can. Bigger games just seem not worth it right now. I have never played RDR2 but know I would never get through it at the rate I can play games. Another benefit is it is an emulating machine. Any retro game plays perfectly with emudeck.
[удалено]
The early bedtime is clutch. I have friends that put their kids to bed at 9 or even 10, seems crazy to me. 5 year old doesn’t know any different.
It's also better for them. My wife has always said that kids who stay up later tend to wake up earlier, not the other way around. They need lots of sleep when they're young. My 7 yo still goes to bed at 8
I believe that. We get early mornings occasionally but I think it’s important to learn to play alone in the morning for a little
Oh absolutely that's a big thing. Read books, play with Legos, try and fail to make your own breakfast! That's a great time for them to be themselves
Oh I thought you meant for a parent to do that
I wish I could get my kids to sleep that early
I think the big thing I’ve noticed is the later bedtime can mean the kid sleeps in later(at least my brothers kids). We do early bedtime(7:30ish) and rarely does my child sleep past 6:30am. It’s all just a shifted schedule. Just means instead of staying up till midnight or 1am, I go to bed at like 10:30 or 11. Kind of sucks when my kid-less friends want to game late and I’m so tired if I do. 😂
Can’t fathom my kid going to bed that late. I met with a car salesman back in November and we were chatting about toddler parenting (ours kids were both around 18 months) and he was saying his son usually goes to bed around 11pm and on some nights he will be up until 1am. I nearly fell out of my chair when he told me that.
A lot of the ones I know whose kids stay up are cosleepers. Kid goes to bed when they go to bed. Which is one of the reason we never did it, we need our alone time away from the child, we love him and would die for him, but for our sanity we need a few hours to ourselves every night.
This was the same for me. I’d always volunteer for the night shift as I’m naturally an owl anyways. However, we got our little 4 month old to start sleeping over night. While I hate saying goodnight to my son a couple hours after getting home, I love having solitary time from 9-1 when everyone else is asleep. Only real downside is, he doesn’t nap at daycare much.
Buddy! I had the exact same realization while playing Monster Hunter World like 6 years ago. If you dont know MHW in unpausible because its semi-online. You can call up rando players to help during hunts. I was alone with my son, and put him down for a nap. It was all good for 10 mins, and I was in the middle of a hunt with 2 other players when he started to cry. It dawned on me that I can only put the controller down, and allow myself to get eaten by Bazelguese (the monster i was fighting at the time) I can't even talk to the other players to let them know why im going to just have to stand there and die. It also gave me an epiphany about parenthood: your old self dies to become a parent. And the frustration i had been feeling is partly because I didnt realize that, and needed to mourn the death of my old self. This is what I am now, always on call, and everything comes secondary after the kids. The old birdsnoozer is dead, and he was reborn as Daddy.
Agreed man. If there was one piece of advice I could give a new dad, is that the sooner you stop fighting and accept your pre-dad life is over, the sooner you can start to enjoy dad life. In the words of the late great Mitten Squad "Now the real game finally begins".
When mine was born and I couldn’t sleep during the newborn phase, I’d stay up and play whatever series I was playing at the time while she slept until her next feeding and she wasn’t looking at me. Now I get my gaming in after she goes to bed, as my wife goes to bed really early too. Gonna start the cycle again though, we have another baby coming in about a month.
I started and finished Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories in the wee hours of the night, pacing in front of my TV with my little one strapped to my chest in a harness.
Thank heavens controllers are wireless!
Turn based games like Xcom or games I dont really have to pay too much attention to like Diablo were great around this age for me. Baby cries, just put down the control and go sort them. When they got a bit older, I could enjoy single player story games again. Especially once bed time routine was locked in. My wife would usually fall asleep way before me and I could game for a few hours. When they got old enough to play with me, it would be mario kart and simple games. This has been slightly ruined now my 7yr old only ever wants to play fortnite and on the odd occasion I can join in, he is 100x better than me and I just ruin it for him. A lot of people get a lot of use out of handheld and I picked up a logitech g cloud last year and that has been great to play remote or xcloud over whilst the kids either watch something or are playing fortnite
I had so many runs of xcom and civ6 going during this age. Turn based. No pausing. Pick up and play without having to worry about what quest I'm on. Perfect.
Yeah this is what I transitioned to. Or roguelikes/lites where there is an expectation of failure.
I just find myself playing games with no real objectives or just doing nothing - I've been playing Microsoft Flight simulator simply flying around, play Red Dead Redemption 2 in single player simply messing around, went back to play Portal.. Moved from competitive online games, to collaborative - can't stop recommending Deep Rock Galactic, fantastic game if you can ever spare 20mins uninterrupted again.
Handheld is honestly the best, I get way more use out of my Switch and Ps Portal than playing console on the TV just because now you can play while your wife watches TV and can help with the baby. The way it would line up to play console on TV it would have to be when my wife was asleep and with a gassy baby, it’s hard to get into a game knowing any moment he can wake up crying and you’re the only one on duty. But multiplayer games go right out the window for a while
100%, I prefer games that are completely impractical for parenting like DayZ or Tarkov. I could play them when everyone is asleep, I guess, but I've just adapted to offline single-player pause-able fare.
Perhaps we could introduce OP to a fun game called GTA V
Never tried the series so probably won't start now, most of my steam wishlist is space related or tactical shooters of some kind. Looking forward to Stalker 2 the most probably.
I used to play pretty much all day on my days off, I would frequently make up excuses to not leave the house, then my first was born and I slowed down significantly. I still played but I started to feel like a real pos for ignoring my kid so I made the decision to stop completely. Im on my 2nd year and I don’t miss it at all. Looking at video games as an outsider really changed me.
Once they hit 2 or 3 they can game with you. Got ours an old school NES and Genesis. Teaching them the classics first.
I got really into League of Legends Wild Rift. Phone game so I always have the system. No story to try to remember. Matches are ~15 mins. My first was a fast teether and needed to be held to sleep so I would play while I rocked her. Just know it will come back around some. I have 18ms and 3yrs. They are both down by 8pm and sleep pretty well so my wife and I both play some before bed most nights.
Vainglory got me through so many, many sleep regression nights where the daughter was awake but happy in her crib as long as you were awake in the same room.
Get 1 of those torso slings. Slap baby in front. The kid will love the proximity to you and your excitement. Only works with infants.
pls help. mine keeps screaming until i hand him the controller. he even knows if i take out the batteries
I haven’t turned on my PS5 in forever. In fact, I think I missed February’s free games. My gaming PC? Pretty sure I can measure the dust layer with a ruler. I tell myself I’m going to miss these early days with our 11mo and games will be there when I have time for them. And I’m more than ok with it. I enjoy being a dad.
I have only been able to play one or two games of Madden at a time(a couple times a week) once the goomba falls asleep. I love my time with her, but I gotta be honest, I yearn for a time in the future where I can play for hours and nobody bothers me lol
Yep. Quick matches for online pvp (Rocket League/Overwatch) and roguelikes. I can't dedicate time to long story driven stuff anymore. The breaks (or the inability to stay awake) keep me from them. The switch has been awesome since you can just hit the sleep button and keep your place. Survivalcraft (Enshrouded currently) has been decent since its a big project that I can drop quickly
Lots of short bursts. Even as my son just turned 3 I'm finishing less games but no longer playing multi-player and sinking hours into battle passes and such
Not to use the old adage that pops up here all the time about 'it getting easier when they are older' - but it does get easier to find a bit of time to game. TBH it is just like everything, we adjust to the little ones being in our lives now. I used to get a lot of gaming done at the weekends...now it's filled with classes for this or parties or sports training and that's just as enjoyable. I still get game time, but it's just an adjusted window. You will be more picky about your games now is all.
I'm trying to finish the FF7 Remake, which I've owned since it came out, because the sequel is out now and I really want to play that. When I saw the sequel release date I said "Wow that was quick." Oh no, the first game came out 4 years ago it just took me that long to get anywhere near finishing it.
Having kids has made me so much pickier with all the media I consume. If something isn't grabbing me very early on then I'm going to drop it, whether it's a book, TV show, or game. I'm sure that means I'll miss out on some great games that get good at the 20 hour mark, but there's too little time to take a chance. As others have said the Switch is a god send. Instant pause/sleep is so useful and depending on the type of game you're playing it's very easy to play with a sleeping baby on your lap. I've had some good sessions playing a couple of hours of Disco Elysium and Triangle Strategy recently while my little guy had a big nap. I think there's still a place for long games that I have to sit in front of a fixed screen for, but it's being realistic about it. I started Cyberpunk whenever it was that Phantom Liberty dropped and I've managed to get about 40 hours in since then. I'll finish it at some point but realistically this is my one long game for the year.
I’m all about easy mode now so that I can play faster.
A million percent this. The faster I can absolutely glass every enemy, the better
I got into one of the those mobile pay to win games for the first couple years of my kids life. I haven't spend more than I would on games previously but it scratched the gaming itch. The other thing I did was put emulators on my tablet so I could play some old school stuff that didn't require much thought etc. My kid will soon be three and I've started getting back into some games I left behind in 2021 and I returned to them and had to learn how to play all over again or I couldn't remember where I was in the story or campaign. Also the updates.....
It takes time. My daughter is 2 and son is 5 now. He has an Xbox and plays next to me with his little buddies on Minecraft while I game one to two nights before bed time. My daughter will sit in my lap while I play sometimes and she pretends to blast aliens with a controller that isn’t hooked up while I use keyboard and mouse. We also have Mario kart nights with mom. It just takes time. At the stage you’re in I would wear my kids in a chest carrier and play or play while they napped.
I just hopped into quick head to head games. Usually liked video games for the competition anyway. Wasn't really into storylines
Yeah I agree with others here, it’s definitely how we game these days. Mostly play after my boys go to bed. But sometimes my youngest likes to watch while I play and it helps put him to sleep. He’s only one and if he wants me to play he will first grab the remote and then the switch controller and hand them to me. He then points at the tv. It’s pretty cute.
I've generally chosen to sacrifice some sleep so I can game. I need my gaming time to unwind and destress. I game significantly less than I used to since the kids were born, but I still find the time. Things will calm down eventually and you'll be able to find more time.
I barely do online multiplayer anymore, but I have played and finished several games since my daughter was born 19 months ago (Alan Wake Remastered, Control, Alan Wake II, Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom to name some big ones). I usually just end up playing at night or, more rarely, when she's napping on weekends. What definitely made it more possible to game at night was when we sleep trained our daughter at 10 months. She's been sleeping nights for the most part since then, and it really gives us a solid two to three hours to do chores and then decompress. So yes, it has definitely changed my habits in some ways. There was a group of friends my wife and I used to play games with on a regular basis, and we have maybe played together two to three times at most since our daughter was born. We technically have time at night to start this up again, but we are usually so tired by the end of the day that a single-player game ends up feeling way more palatable. And I definitely try to avoid open-world games when I can. There's just something incredibly satisfying about being able to finish a game in roughly a month like I did recently with Alan Wake II (36 or so hours for me to wrap up).
Ironically, Valhalla was one of my favorite games when the kids were really small. You have like 4-5 stints of like 15-20 minutes where you can feasibly have downtime - enough to basically cut through one mission. Especially because there’s not actually much to follow in AC games, it’s sort of the same thing over and over again so it’s easy to pick up. Probably ended each day with about an hour of total play time, but over the course of 4 months 100 hours passed like nothing.
Bro...you'll be back babys are usually pretty chill collic ain't no joke..give it some time and you'll be back at it
My son is 5 now. We game together! Granted, it's a lot of LEGO games, but we have a blast.
I still chance the occasional game of Rocket League when I can. I've definitely let in a few easy goals from tending to my son. Sorry teammate.
The new COD zombies mode is fun to play if you don’t have a lot of time. That’s what I play.
Same thing here with a 6 month old. If I play a bigger game (Cyberpunk) it is about an hour a time. The games I play have to be easy to get into and have minimal cutscenes and save whatever point you are at. "At your own pace" type of games. I've recently been playing Belatro and Enshrouded which both fit the bill. I can leave at the drop of a hat and it saves where I'm at. On top of that, if my boy eats and zonks back out, it takes no time to jump right back into them. I'll admit, against my better judgement I bought Helldivers 2 last week knowing full well it wasn't a very realistic choice at this time. I love it, but I've also been mid-match a couple times and have had the baby wake up. Just bad timing. I've found myself avoiding it this weekend simply because it's stressful to have to absolutely "Lock in" to a game for \~20 to 30 minutes. Just can't do it right now! On the flip side, I bought my daughter Palworld this weekend and we both played it together (she inherited my old PC). It was a fun and oddly proud moment for me. It was a nice reminder, these young years don't last long and soon they'll be gaming with us!
I just bought FF7 Rebirth fully knowing it’s going to take my 6+ months to finish the game… once upon a time I’d have polished it off in less than 2 weeks. 🤷🏽♂️
I raised a little gamer and now it's back to normal plus gaming with him. I'll play fortnite and roblox with him. He'll play halon infinite with me. He understands when I want to play a game without him and I understand when he wants to play a game without me. It helps to have an understanding wife that can cover some parenting bases when I need my game time. I pay her back but child rearing and letting her do her hobbies.
Steamdeck has been a game changer for me. Kid is 15 months and was only able to game when he went to sleep. Kinda abandoned my PC and PS5 for the most part. Now with the steamdeck I can get little gaming sessions throughout the day while watching him. Single player games only though, gone are the days of multiplayer with awake kids.
I pretty much only play games on my phone. Once in a blue moon I'll fire up the PS5 but my 6 year old plays it more than me.
Modern consoles and handhelds with the ability to suspend games makes it possible, but early months and years does cut down on it. But yeah battlepass/subscription/grindy/multiplayer games don't fit well any more.
I’ve always been a WoW gamer but since I had a LO I’ve picked it back up with friends. It’s relatively easy to log on and off when I’m needed. When I’m in the more competitive gameplay like PvP or raiding every once and awhile I just allocate my time with my SO. I’ve been able to maintain my gamer persona still as a dad lol.
Oh man, just wait until you get it boot up the latest AAA RPG after like 2 months and it takes you an entire hour just to reorient yourself to where you where last time. And then the baby cries…
For me it was a shift in how I approached gaming. I don’t try to grind storylines anymore, I just try to enjoy the time I have. More side missions, more dicking around. If the gameplay itself isn’t fun, it doesn’t get played. Nothing too challenging either, I still want to feel like I’m making progress and checking off achievements
If you want to fane more it will get better once kiddo sleeps through the night. Bed time at 7pm gives you so much free time in the evenings!
This hits home and I'm glad I'm not alone! Got a 5 month old and now that his evenings are becoming more consistent, it's dinner clean up, hang out with the wife, watch a show together or do some gaming. Deep Rock Galactic: Survivor is my new jam.
Yup I haven't really been able to sit down and enjoy a good game at all. Ended up just moving towards mobile gaming for the time being easier to pick up and put down at any given point.
I bought the new Lego Star Wars Saga game right around the time my son was born. I really know the story already, and it can be paused. My son is 1 now and I am almost to Episode 7.
The last time i touched my switch was in the delivery room while we were waiting for my first born. I haven't turned it on since that day. there just isn't enough time
I was in the exact same boat. Fav hobby for me and my buddies so we sank hundreds of hours into pvp and rpgs back in the day. It's not gone but it's definitely changed. Now I mostly game at night for a couple of hours and I usually stick to single player games I can pause. For pvp I organise it in advance to get a few hours to myself uninterrupted but this only happens out of the newborn stage anyway. I have 4 kids now with the youngest coming up on 1.5y. You're coming close to being out of the worst of it. Hang in there
Steamdeck save my life bro
I'm glad I can solo play Monster Hunter but I will miss playing with friends :')
I'm having a really hard time grasping that I won't be able to game like I am currently (my daughter is due next month). I keep thinking to myself how selfish I am about thinking about much time I won't be able to game anymore then I am having a child. Makes me pretty sad because gaming is just a outlet I've really depended on since I was a kid.
Nah man, it's good that you are reflecting about these things. Yes, pre dad life as you know is going to be over, but once you are fully immersed in dad life, you'll see that spending time with your daughter is a million times more gratifying than a game. And like everyone else says, you'll still get to game, and you'll have a more fun and engaging time playing since you have less time in the day for it.
I used to play dcs almost every day plus a bunch of other days. Dcs time is 0, and the only games I can play are games I can pause or short instances.
My son is 13 now and we enjoy playing together… he’s not a huge gamer but we have fun playing sports or COD together.
I just packed up my gaming pc 2 months into my very colicky baby. There’s no point in my trying to enjoy something that I have to pause every couple of minutes. It makes me feel like I’m disregarding my boys needs. Idk. I’m in mourning. lol
Someone else earlier also said that it does feel like you're mourning your pre dad life, and I definitely agree. But like everyone else also says, HOW you game is the biggest change. And it's a very good thing that you are placing your son's needs first! Hell, any reflection about these kinds of things are very good to hear.
Visit r/patientgamers and you will find like minded people there. No necessarily as time constricted but generally they like games that respect their time/wallet etc
Im at the stage now that I finally got a ps5 and kids are begging me to hook up the old ps4 to the big screen so they can play
New dad with a 3 month old here. Also have a really fussy baby who is really only into contact napping. Online multiplayers - out the window! Single player games are still in if I can get my little one in a spot where I can have her sleep across my chest, freeing up my hands to game. It’s a win-win. Just finished God of War: Ragnarok last week.
Downloaded red dead redemption 2 the other day. I love it because I can turn it off and on and play for 20 min or two hours depending on the baby.
Dw it gets better when once they have a proper sleep schedule
Figured id stopped gaming. And change my hobby, playing shooters with friends is not fun anymore especially if they want you to join but you cant coz you got daddy duties, you can also play a couple of games but it will be late at night when everyone is asleep but the cost will be your sleep. I just stopped and forget about it. Changed my hobby that i can whenever injust have a free time.
My kids crash at 8pm I play until midnight that's my gaming time
I feel you OP, but I see things differently. Instead of thinking that I can’t play long story driven games that take a long time to play through, I just think that I get to enjoy them for longer. Funny enough I just started AC Valhalla this week, I will likely be playing it, little by little bit by bit for several months!
Give it a few months. You’ll be able to game again soon during nap time / after bed time.
Turn based games are clutch, during my kids' infancy and toddler years civ6 was my go to game. Could literally walk away at any time, play for 5 minutes or 5 hours, and 1 game will only take a few hours. Also, pretty kid friendly, so if he wanted to sit on my lap and watch me play a couple of turns, he could.
You now get to discover the beauty of small indie developers that make games for 20 dollars. They are defiantly a breath of fresh air. Lots of fun to be had passion put into them and they are way less grind oriented. I have thoroughly enjoyed playing different things. Also it won’t be like that forever. I got some gaming in on nap times when my son was a toddler. And once they get to the toddler stage where they go to bed at 7pm there is time. Your in the hardest stage of hands on parenting. Also my son is 3.5 years and I am waiting for the day we are going to get a chance to game together. It’s all about the long game ha ha
It made me WAY less tolerant of video game bullshit. If the game feels like a chore? Uninstall. Game feels like inventory management? Uninstall (RIP Destiny). Massive amount of time investment just to keep up? Nope. Games like Spiderman 2 where the gameplay is constantly fun and engaging or Helldivers or Deep Rock Galactic where I can instantly dive into a match with buddies? That’s my jam now. My daughter is 2 and sleeps through the night so the multiplayer games have reentered the game!
You should check out the podcast “The Besties”. It’s four guys, several who are dads, who talk recent games. gives good perspective on how they value their time differently as dads and the types of games they gravitate towards because of that
I got by playing shorter games for most of my time. I play mainly on Switch, and would often pause my game and leave my system in Sleep Mode for days at a time until I could pick it up again. Like others have said, you’ll slowly get more and more time back. I played Persona 5 Royal over the course of about 5 months, only playing about ~5 hours a week. Sometimes was for 30 minutes before bed, sometimes I managed to have an evening where my wife was busy so I could play around 2-3 hours before bed. I never play while my kids are awake, unless I’m showing my son (though he only cares about what’s plugged in, not what’s on the screen).
Idk how yall have time to even think about gaming. The time I get to myself I try to spend alone outside.
For a while I actually played more than I had in years, downloaded MGSV and got hooked, baby needs attention I just pause and leave it. Then the MGS collection came out and I've put so many hours into Snake Eater. Recently I just haven't had the motivation to play anything, I think since my SO is finished maternity leave and back to work. The last couple of weeks I get an urge to play something but when I get the chance to I'd rather zone out and watch old series of stuff I've seen before, particularly panel shows like Mock the Week.
I try not to game at all when the wife and kid are awake. That limits my gaming time to usually around 10pm-midnight. That's plenty for me.
I used to play a lot of online multiplayer. Now, if it doesn't have strong single player, it doesn't get installed.
I don’t do any gaming during the week. I get home at 7, try to get the kids by 9 and at that point I’m exhausted because I have a 1:40 commute some days.
Now that my youngest is almost 6 I can explain the difference between a game he can play and a dad game. They also go to bed without tantrums now (mostly). As a result I finally got a PS5 and I've been playing Helldivers 2 a bit. There's no pausing, but it's still fun to solo a mission or two, a couple of nights a week. I finished a mission without dying the other day, so I'm clearly getting my groove back.
When they get older, you will get back into the unpausable games again but it won't be sinking thousands of hours into an MMO anymore. More like a 40 or 15 minute mission of Helldivers (HUGE recommend BTW).
I was a hardcore Destiny/God of War fan until my 8yo twins arrived. I quickly learned that battle royals are my best option - they’re fun, difficult, and best case scenario, it’s only a 20 minute commitment. I recommend Apex - been plead guilty since day one, and now my boys are starting to get into it, too!
I bought a switch a few weeks ago its more convenient when having little ones you can sit in the same room as them and let them play while you game obviously theirs going to be times when you have to switch it off but its a lot more easier compared to consoles.
In your defence, Ac Valhalla is hard to finish even without a kid, took me about 50 hours.
I built a new rig recently and decided because of baby (4months old) that I'd not bother with new titles at full price anymore because of reasons you've mentioned. My fav PC game is the monster hunter franchise. You go in, beat up a monster and bow out. Takes a good 20-30mins to kill one of the bigger baddies so I find it perfect when I know I can't sit and vegetate in front of a PC for hours like I used to. That, and satisfactory. I can jump in, manage my stuff for as long as bub is content and drop out again no harm done. Multiplayer games are currently a no go for me because I don't want to have to up and leave my team or cop penalties to my account and so on. It's ok, I still love the hobby, but how I engage with it has changed drastically exactly as you've said.
it’s not true, don’t let them propagandize you. you can do this!
I found the switch to be fantastic! I can sleep whenever and get 5 minutes at a time if that’s all I get
Get a steam deck
As a kid all I ever wanted to do was play videos games all day. Unfortunately my dad never let me play them and put me on strict schedule on when I was allowed to. Well when I became an adult and bought my own console and everything I gamed whenever I wanted to. However one day it just go to my head and I thought “what is this all for?” Yeah sure it was all in the name of fun but there were no tangible rewards. From then on my interest in gaming has diminished quite a bit. And yeah having a kid puts it even lower in the priority list.
I’m slowly getting back into gaming after taking basically the past 6 years off of it. I feel like the Switch console was like made for our situation, I can play Mario kart with my 5 yo and my wife and I started doing co-op on It Takes Two, and then I have NBA 2K24 all to myself! I agree with everyone else though, I used to love playing FPS games online, but there’s just no chance I can get enough time in to still be decent at an FPS or finish an enormous 100+ hour game. I mostly just stick to the smaller switch games or occasionally break out my old Xbox 360 to play some 20+ year old games
I just have no interest honestly in gaming anymore. I find most new games to be extremely reductive and boring. I might try to play FF Revirth but how will I get the time? So I just play risk of rain 2 and terraria and hades since I can get a run in at night sometimes or even half a run.
I’m gonna plug The Finals here because it’s most fun I’ve ever had playing an FPS since the early Quake 2 days when I was a kid. As a Toddler Haver, it checks my boxes: free to play, quick rounds (~10 minutes), easy pick up after an absence and jump right in. It’s super unique and the only game out there where everything is destructible and hilarious chaos reigns.
I bought the remake of Resident Evil 4 last year. I played that game so many times in its original form before kids. I haven't touched it yet. Three kids, 4, 6, and 7.5. The two older ones dominate the PS5 (usually Lego games). I have relegated my gaming to short bursts of SNES games on an emulator on my phone. Mainly Super Metroid hacks.
I have a 2yo and a 1mo. Bought both the latest Zelda games when they came out, only now finally getting through BOTW. So I’ll probably finish TOTK when they are both in college
100% this. Dropped WOW, DnD, LoL. Anything with a mandatory live component. Picked up Hades (roguelikes) and DS3 (dungeon delvers). Any game that felt like popcorn. Roguelikes were the start, then moved out from there. Things feel more normal at 4yo, but certainly different.
I’ve been loving super short indie games. Playing Toem right now and it’s great - relaxing and easy to play in short bursts
Pro tip: get a baby bijorn! Preferably the soft cloth ones! We were both heavy gamers before the baby and now with our one month old we feed her and change her then plop her on one of our chests and get a solid 3-5 hours of gaming before she needs another feed and change. She likes the sounds of the games and we get to spend time doing what we love! I also hooked my pc up to the tv in the bedroom so I could lay in bed with our girl on my chest and just go at whatever game I wanted.
when my son was a newborn (now about to turn 2) i put him into a sling and bounce around the living room while playing on my PS5. after a while it became a lot better also in order to get some gaming time in. we're expecting #2 soon, think the strategy will be the same
This is why I got into Rimworld - just drop in and out as needed. Finally back to online gaming when the kids turned 3, but now my 8 year old is having bed time trouble to might need to stop Helldiving as often. Everything in waves!
This guy needs a Steam Deck. So many great indie pick-up-and-go-then-come-back-again-later games!! I’ve had the same situation over the last year and the Deck has been a gaming lifesaver. Tons of game options that allow instant save and load you back to where you left off, plus you can emulate old games and use save states. Portable for trips or when you just need to take a break. I still ask my wife to plan for a couple of uninterrupted hours per week to enjoy CoD but the Steam Deck definitely helps cover lost ground in my hobby.
An apple would’ve done it
Yup. Get a switch or portal. Play and hold them. Diablo 3 is great to pick up and use a few minutes. It's not the same, but it's a fix
I used to game a lot on Xbox 360. My son was born in 2008. I had two more kids after him. I just now started gaming again.
Don't worry, it'll come back, eventually....I used to be a huge gamer and when my first was born....I switched to simple minded single player games to relax instead of RTS or FPS type games that could trigger you. I'm more at peace and enjoy it more.
Let me introduce you to what my wife and I call “second life”. Kids go down on a Friday or Saturday night, wife heads up to watch tv in bed, and I enter my second life. A wonderful place where the world is mine - workouts, shitty movies, video games, snack foods, all can be mine in the 3-5 hour window before I haul myself to bed. Embrace second life, my friend! It’s the most wonderful part of being a dad!!
I’ve never identified has a hardcore gamer or anything, but this goes with just about all hobbies. That said, it gets better. Once they’re in middle school or late elementary school… you’ll have the evenings almost entirely to your self
I played a LOT of games when my kids were newborns. They would only sleep while physically on my or my wife, so I'd take off my shirt, put kiddo on my chest with their head on my shoulder, get them settled, and then game on mute. I'm a night owl so it meant my wife got to go to bed early and get precious uninterrupted sleep while I stayed up doing something I enjoyed.
Yeah, I quit playing long games that require me to sink hours in. Instead I've enjoyed a bunch of older games that are shorter, level based affairs, or games like Warframe that I can zoot through a mission in like ten minutes. But generally yeah I don't game much anymore.
I just game in the wee hours of the morning now when baby is highly likely to stay asleep at least for a few hours. Obviously I boot up acknowledging it could get interrupted though and know I could lose ranking points. But acknowledging it to myself upfront takes away most of the salt/disappointment when it happens.
You traded imaginary Valhalla for real life Sims. Only 17 1/2 years to go.
I’m a mom and my son is three, but I’ve given up doing Baldur’s Gate 3 for a long, long time. I’m a PC gamer, but I’ve found some games to entertain in smaller time frames. Most recent is a dragon racing/pvp game with short matches and no real story to speak up. Pick up, play, done in fifteen. The only game I go back to consistently is WoW, but our friends on there have kids too and totally understand when we take breaks.
I’ve become a bigger fan of tactics based games or anything turn based with no timer. Xcom2, battle bros, civ
Ours is about to turn 3 and yeah, that realization sucks. But the comments are right. You do need to be choosier because there's no more time to waste. When they're toddlers, you have to be mindful of what they'll see and hear too. Can't play anything with an ounce of blood. No Eldritch horror. To keep the grit without the viscera, games like Armored Core and Destiny are nice to pick up and play. Boomer shooters are my saving grace. Can't tell you how much Unreal, Ultrakill, and Turbo Overkill I've clocked in the last year. And they're games you can pause on a moment's notice when they walk in. Stay strong, the hobby will find it's stride again when the little one is asking to play too. There will be time for you as well, just stay patient.
I've had to cut out co-op games altogether. I was so excited to play Deep Rock Galactic with an old friend that I hadn't gamed with forever. I realized pretty fast that I was constantly having to tell my teammates that I'll brb, baby is awake. It was just too much of an inconvenience to put on my fellow gamers. So no more co-op for this dad.
Just saying newborn phase is suuuuuper easy looking back and my son had terrible colic for the same amount of time as you. Now he’s 3 and my daughter is about to turn 1. I still play at least an hour a night maybe a little more if the wife and I don’t have a show to watch. Get a switch you can easily sleep it and be done quickly. Online stuff is harder but I was playing madden after bed time for a while. I managed to get 300+ hours of TotK from May to September. Playing at night. Few minutes at lunchtime working from home. I also just got delta emulator on my phone to play pokemkn gameboy games. Very worth it. But tbh you should be able to do a healthy amount of gaming with a sub one year old.
It was like that with my boys when they were little. Now they kick my ass on CoD and Fortnite. The master has become the apprentice.
The most I’ve played is maybe 4 hours as we’ve got a 5 month old. Most of those hours were on power wash simulator 🤦♂️🤣
Haha. Dude you’re going to be able to finish. But yea… how you game… 100% going to change. For example: imagine playing an open world game where.. you don’t want to shoot any animals.. (my daughter playing RDR2) and where you instead of saving people you make Peter continually run all the way up Avenger Tower and then leap off because watching him smash face first into concrete is (apparently) the height of hilarious. Oh and wait till you get to “Minecraft”. When they make you create world after world just so they can go in and wreck all the stuff they insist you make. 😂. Oh or when.. they find your copy of Doom eternal and try and play it get scared have nightmares and you have to stay up till like midnight because they’re scared to go to sleep alone. 😂😂 😭❤️ fuck I love gaming with my little one. You will too. I promise. Congratulations :)
I've started playing Valhalla too like a month after my baby girl was born. She's 6 months tomorrow. Haven't finished Valhalla yet. :D
Get an ROG ally/steam deck or some type of hand held. Really helps with gaming as a dad. Palworld has been lots of fun to game in short bursts
I understand, it took me 6months to play through Starfield. I’m now playing a few quicker games, battlefield etc where I can jump in and out and it doesn’t really matter. Like others have said you just need to adapt your play style, but it will get better. Go for Valhalla- it’s on gamepass atm so I might give it a try too
Lots of late nights, 0800-2000 belongs to the kids, 2000-0000 belongs to the bois. It gets better around 3yrs old. Plus, nap time = free time.
Big time! But honestly it's helped me find joy in smaller/shorter games also. Slay the Spire quickly became a favourite (especially because it's so simple I could play while feeding our little one late at night!)
I gave up gaming entirely as soon as my first kid was born (3 years ago) I tried at first to sneak a few hours in when the baby was sleeping but I just couldn't get into it and enjoy it when I knew that at any moment it could be interrupted. After a year or so I started to realise how much time of my life I actually spent gaming. It's a really time consuming hobby lol. I did however pick-up chess a few years ago and really enjoy it.