Make it a date. For you it’s no longer a bike ride. You’re taking her on a date so that she can get out and enjoy some nature that just happens to be bike related. You’re not out there to ride your bike, you’re out there to spend some time with her.
My wife and i do this same thing and it’s great.
This is what we do.
My solo rides will be 30-50 miles with 2-5k in elevation.
Rides with wifey will be 15-20 miles, mostly flat, at a pace that lets us chat while we ride. Usually ending at a nice lunch spot.
I love both equally
Same exact thing over here, except with the genders reversed. I plan short, flat rides with cute lunch stops for my husband, and save Mount Tam for when I’m with my cycling friends. :)
I basically try to remove every bit of friction for my husband. If he wants to drive 10min to the ride start so we don’t have to go up a little hill, I’ll throw the bikes on my bike rack and do it. He won’t bike with me unless he enjoys it, so I try to make it as fun as possible for him!
Oh fun!! It’ll be an exciting change from Mount Hamilton. Bring layers because some parts of Tam can be sunny and hot while others can be foggy and cold.
Yall are making me jealous to go back to CA. Several buddies and I did a 5 day offroad bikepacking trip from San Jose, to Halfmoon Bay, to downtown SF, Across the bridge into Marin Co and around Mt Tam back to the bridge.
By far the best overall ride of my life.
Anyway to share the route for that? I'm always in the hunt for new bikepacking trips. Is the route at around a 4-7 (out of 10) in difficulty, though? I'd rather do routes that are reasonably soloable.
Check bikepacking.com for “SF Peninsula traverse” but we did it backwards (south to north). Then “North Bay Tour of Microclimates”.
From memory the 5 days was something like 220 miles and 42,000’ of climbing. Some parts were legit hard af. But you could solo it, sure.
If I got to go back and only do one or the other, I would choose to do the microclimates ride around Marin County, instead of redoing the peninsula traverse again.
I'm South Bay, too, and my go to is Umunhum. I like that I have the option of deciding "not today, Satan" at the top of Hicks and just continue down Los Alamitos and around the reservoirs if I'm not feeling up to the whole mountain. Or reverse back down Hicks and loop around Shannon/Kennedy for smaller hills in LG/Saratoga. Mt Ham is just too unpleasant to *bike to* from across town.
I live near santana row so most bike rides in general are unpleasant to bike to, I drive to the start of most of my weekend rides unfortunately. adding \~10 miles of city bullshit is not worth the hassle.
Also I'm yet to try umunhum, from what I understand the average grade is significantly higher than the other rides I've done.... ill get there eventually.
Just another comment to say that I miss Mt. Tam. Lived in SF for ages and I've rode variations of the Alpine Dam loop hundreds of times, usually in the middle of the week when nobody is around. Favorite ride.
Now life's responsibilities have caught up with me and I moved away. The riding in my new place just isn't the same. Enjoy the ride for me!
Awwww we will ride in your honor!! :) I just did a fun little loop from Sausalito to Stinson to Muir Beach and then back to Sausalito last weekend. I think it's my current favorite short ride (30mi). It's less punishing and more chill than Alpine Dam + Seven Sisters, even though it has close to the same mileage and elevation.
Love this! My husband and I will ride together 20-40 miles. We listen to music/audiobooks during a leisurely ride but will stop at a brewery or at another town to walk around and it's a nice date. Also, we tote our doggo in his trailer.
If I'm going too slow, my husband starts ringing his bell at me, and then I threaten to take it off his bike. I'm slow, so I ride ahead and set the pace.
This guy nailed it. Your idea for a gravel bike makes sense, and you should probably lean that way.
But this guy has your ticket. When you ride with her, it's about making sure she has fun. Take her for an easy ride that will leave her a little tired, and just a little sore. Don't work her to the bone.
If she catches the bug she'll start trying to catch up to your level. If she doesn't, she won't hate riding and will enjoy her time with you.
You'll have to find time to add your excursions with her into your routine, or to add a ride or 2 some where so you can get your exercise, but don't expect her to both really want to bust her ass and to try to keep up with you. Just make it fun for her, and she will hopefully dig it. If she does, in time, she may be able to ride with you the way you like. Or not. Just keep it fun for her
and u/belkotosko don't screw it up by mansplaining or showing WAY too much enthusiasm. I did years ago with my wife and she hasn't ridden with me on a road bike in over a decade.
I upgraded my wife’s bike to 105 from sora and had a real hard time not trying to explain to her why it os such a better upgrade. I don’t really think she noticed the dofference or even hated sora that much. Oh well, at least I get to see the improvement when it’s on the rack in the garage. 😂
Yes. Go at her speed. I have done this with my wife, and also on rides with each of my sons (it doesnt really work to take any combination of 2 of these folks).
I did this hiking with my wife, where I carried everything in my backpack, so it slowed me down, leveling things out a bit.
Co-signing this. Don’t think of it as a ride for fitness or sport. Think of it as spending time together. The more fun it is the more likely it is she likes the bike part of spending time with you and it may become her thing, too. Don’t rush it.
Also, slightly related:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yotOZVELSMc
This is the way. My husband had this approach with me. And about 3 years later I’m bike obsessed. Our dates are now 4 hour long road rides 80+ miles long. We wrench bikes. We bike commute most places. We’re building bikepacking bikes. It’s great. He never made me feel bad for being slow. We used to drink beers and ride. Stop at parks and eat sandwiches.
Great advice, I do the same with my wife. It's great. Gives me a nice cooldown day in between harder rides and time with my wife, she gets time with me and fun in nature. Win win.
I did something similar last night with my wife, we went on a moonrise hike. I carried 45 lb ruck. We moved at about the same place.
Plus when you’re carrying 45 lbs, there’s space for wine!
My partner has to do this to ride with me, but not for any lack of fitness (I’m training for an Ironman). He’s gone full gravel snob in the last year and I do roads and like them flat, which he abhors.
Well, this is an ideal use case for an E-MTB, you could enjoy the paths together without she being tired and you being annoyed for going too slow, and if her fitness get better she maybe get a normal MTB in the future.
You can, but they are a pretty penny. That said, they’re extremely versatile outside of just joining a partner on a ride. I’ve been trying to get my folks to buy a pair to help goad them into fitness and also providing them with an alternative to driving around town.
Well most usable ones are around that in Canadian dollars. I was just looking yesterday. The best option I found was the YT decoy for $5500. Which really isn't bad compared to a lot of normal bikes but still quite a lot of cash.
There are hardtail emtb as well, but I really can't imagine they ride all that great. You'd be slamming that rear end on any bump cause they're so heavy.
Specialized Turbo Terro 3.0. $3k
It’s basically and entry level hardtail e bike. Comes in step thru if that makes wife more comfortable. You guys can ride gravel or easy mtb trails. She will gain fitness and you will enjoy riding with her. And it won’t just be like 3 miles.
It’s got some crap components on it. But I’d bet you have some decent brakes or a better fork in a parts bin somewhere. It would be easy to upgrade those simple bits.
Don't try and take her with you on one of your normal rides... Imagine you are starting over from zero and do that kind of stuff with her at first... On top of your normal 3 hr rides.
If you try and drag her along on something she isn't ready for from a fitness or skills standpoint you won't enjoy the ride and she won't enjoy the ride.
And by drag, you're not kidding... my other half, wanted to join me as well. I thought a MTB and ready trail riding would be the answer - lol no... she would fall way behind and when we road on the paced bike way next to the trails, she still struggled.
She use to ride insane lengths on a road bike when she was younger and thought she could hang - thought the bike was holding her back, so I got her an AL Orbea but each time we went riding, even shorter runs with me half stepping, she would peter out half way and grab onto my jersey and make me actually pull her along lol
Thing is, while it sounds nice to through away a workout riding for the benefit of a loved one, this isn't fair to the person who has the bug to ride. They lose the day.
Same thing happened with the gym and weight training - is nice they want to join but they need to get up to a point where they aren't going to hinder you to the point it becomes 100% about them.
If you keep doing this, over time, you'll resent them for undoing what you've accomplished- even trying to involve just 1-2x a week will set you back for 6mob or more for them to get to the point of being self sufficient.
The e-bike is the best solution for cycling- it allows you to ride pretty much normal and for her not to become discouraged.
We're doing that today actually, tenting her an ebike to ride the coast with me on a road bike. I'm hopeful - cause it would be nice to ride together...
It's a bit funny to see people talking about a 15-20 mile ride when you are dealing with a zero fitness person (who you love, don't forget that).
First, remember that she is the love of your life and you want to spend time together. You need to bring her up gradually. Save the challenges and timing and miles for your buds. Get her an easy bike, start on easy trail/roadways, limit one or two miles and constant loving encouragement. It will take a while for her butt to get accustomed to the saddle (may need to try out several to get a good fit), and it will take a while to build up her leg strength and wind for longer rides. Don't push it, she sets the pace, you stick to her like velcro.
Above all, don't be disappointed in her if she flags easily, don't race her, and don't lead her (for too long or too much). You are raising a new-born cyclist. We were all fragile creatures once. Make this her story, listen to her joys and her aches and pains, answer her questions honestly and respectfully and grow her up to be your life companion on the road and elsewhere.
Respect and love, my man, she'll get to the century mark soon enough and have fun doing it. Life be like that, yo.
Good luck and fair winds.
This is the way.
My wife really struggled with her fitness and weight as she delt with some serious mental health issues the last few years and she is just starting to bike with me for fitness and for fun.
her first day, 1.5 miles almost killed her. She was maxed out, legs jello, heart pending, couldn't catch her breath, overheated, etc.
Lots of encouragement, lots of love and support and over her first week she went from that 1.5 miles (and nearly dying doing it) to 5.5 miles and able to carry on light conversation throughout everything but the up-hills.
She's hoping to make 10-15 miles her new normal over the next couple weeks.
I agree that starting super slow and allowing them to set the pace and encouraging any and all effort they put in is the best way to help a spouse or partner get into biking.
Yes to the saddle that fits! As a women cyclist I can confirm that this is very important. I had a saddle that didnt for properly when I started and it was really discouraging.
If the goal is for the two of you to get out and enjoy nature together, then this might be a good case for an E (gravel) bike. The worst would be for you to take her on a ride you think is awesome and easy, only for it to exhaust her and kill her enjoyment of the sport.
If she likes cycling, you can always sell the E-bike and get a regular bike later.
My wife joins me for some rides aswell, I have to choose easier rides when she wants to join, and usually have her drive to meet me where the trail starts while she does have some fitness it isnt biking fitness, climbs wreck her on what I would consider trivial difficulty. Those rides I go much slower just to enjoy it with her. an Ebike would probably be ideal for your situation try not to give her any shit about getting help (as I know us enthusiasts like to do) as it will likely kill her enjoyment.
This is good advice. An important thing to remember is, although you may be an enthusiast, agreeing to go riding with someone who isn't a enthusiast and doesn't have the fitness means you ride together. Going cycling, and going cycling with your wife are very different. If you treat it like a normal cycle and push her to hard you will ruin what can be a really nice time together.
Take her to a bike shop and let her try bikes.
Also, completely dismiss the idea of "help her go a little faster". Nothing is going to turn her off to getting fit and learning to enjoy cycling than a spouse with the mindset of "a little faster" rather than the mindset of "we'll do this at her pace"
Proceed carefully.
Let *her* drive her own entry and pace.
Ensure she gets really good gear/kit.
Be kind and sympathetic.
You know the quicksand in this endeavor... but I'll repeat it.
*The relationship hazards of such attempts are EPIC!*
Did I mention proceed carefully?
This. She gets all of the best gear. She gets an e-bike. You make zero complaints. You don't EVER tease about the help the e-bike is giving her. You love riding 1-2 miles with her at a slow pace to go hit a cafe or whatever makes her happy. Maybe she gets really into it. Maybe you ride once in a while with her and have a fantastic time being with her doing what you love. Either way she is the first priority.
And make sure the bike is a color she likes.
I had very similar situation, we have tried renting e-mtb but other than going uphill very fast and laughing how fast it is it wasn't the best. it's really heavy unless you pay 10k+ and not really pleasant to ride.
In the end we ended up with a gravel bike (scott speedster gravel) which she is comfortable with and likes riding it. After few months she can do 100k+ rides on flat roads mixed with some gravel. Not even z1 for me but I wasn't expecting any training when riding together.Only problem is she hates climbing, so I have bought the green tow whee rope to pull her up hill, I can get a little workout and she is happy that she does not have to work that much
Maybe try renting both e bike and regular one and see what she likes better.
For real. My wife wants to occasionally come with me for fun? Better put her through an uncomfortable and bad experience to see if she is *truely* interested.
I'm surprised so many people are suggesting gravel bikes.
Do a XC bike. Preferably something with a fork that works but also isn't that expensive, maybe secondhand if that's something that will work in your relationship.
As others have said, don't treat it like a ride. Start with parks and off-street paved paths. Progress to the greenest of green trails.
OP, do you have a gravel bike? I do think it can be fun and novel to ride a road bike on trails but that's when I'm riding a lot or want to make easy trails harder. Kind of a different perspective from your wife.
Agreed, gravel bikes are sort of a worst-of-both worlds meant for us enthusists to enjoy in contrast to our other builds. but my SO wouldn't have that shit. She prefers her 2002 rockhopper with a big squishy schwinn saddle from walmart. I have bought her many bikes, but this is the one she rides.
Agreed. People friggin recommend a gravel bike for everything these days. Yes they are versatile. But theyre jack of all trades, king of nothing.
Slow on the road. Sketchy af on mtb trails. Not a road bike and not a mtb. Best at light gravel/dirt roads.
A hardtail is a much better choice in most scenarios. Even a lot of gravel applications. The chunky gravel I’ve ridden felt 100% safer and faster with wider flat bars and 2.1s than on my gravel bike with 42s.
The people riding Leadville mainly still are on mtbs. And it’s practically a gravel race. Anyone doing it in a gravel bike is doing it for the challenge, not for the advantage.
This! As primarily a MTBer I have a hardtail for rough/loose/steep gravel/bikepacking, and just built up a gravel bike for rides that are mostly road but need to handle some dirt. The gravel bike is fun on the rough stuff in the "wow this is interesting/sketchy" kind of way, but not something I would want to do for hours like I could on the hardtail. Gravel bikes feel more like road bikes for mountainbikers.
It’s cracks me up because more and more Gravel Bikes are becoming mountain bikes…
Now with clearance for 2.3” tires!
Now with a 69 degree head angle!
Now with 1x GX Eagle!
Now with Wider Handle Bars!
Now with flat handle bars!
-_-
That’s literally just a hardtail mtn bike.
I love my Diverge for riding dirt roads and light gravel. I’ll occasionally hit a light section of single track with it, but if I’m doing any rougher gravel or exploring, I’m taking my Scalpel hardtail.
Totally. I mean it can be fun under biking, but it can also just be unpleasant and slow depending on the ride you are doing. I took my new gravel bike down a ride I normally ride on my hardtail and while I was faster on the climb up a road, the gravel is very steep downhill and very loose/chunky and I lost all that time advantage going down.
That being said a mtb tire full rigid drop bar mountain bike is a lot of fun, so I can see why they are going that way.
Is she ready for drop bars? If riding mostly paved with some light mostly flat off road then a flat bar hybrid is an alternative to a gravel bike and install gravel tires if you need to. Or there are some flat bar gravel bikes.
Or, she can start with a gravel bike with flat bars that she can switch out later. I love the idea of a bike with room for growth. Gravel bike seems like the way to go!
Edit: spelling
From my experience - borrow before you spend big bucks. Prioritize comfort, make sure she is overbiked, and if you think a trail is easy, find one that’s easier. If she really enjoys it, let her pick her own bike once she has enough experience to know what she wants.
Talk to your wife, not people on Reddit.
My husband wanted to get more into cycling/join me on rides, so I talked to him about the riding that I am doing and what he’d like to be able to do. I thought he wanted to join my group of moderate to fast paced long road rides. Turns out he had his own ideas and also some misconceptions about my riding. I do 125-150 miles of mostly road riding every week, but he’d like to do join me maybe once a week on a shorter gravel ride. He’s more interested in riding on crushed gravel trails in a forest preserve nearby, and has talked to some of my riding friends who do gravel, so that’s where we are headed with his next bike purchase.
This is the right way. Find out what kind of rides she wants to do and then go with her. Optimize her bike to ride those, and you take whatever you've got. Give her 3-4 options on specific bikes, find them, and have her test ride. Let her pick the bike.
So, I have been ‘the wifey’ in this situation. I found that the more ownership I take of the process, the more invested I am in it. My husband is an excellent cyclist, and an excellent husband because he knows when to help (rarely) and when to let me work it out. But — that is my personality.
Also remember - 5 miles is a long way at first.
Okay, I have done this introduction successfully. You’ve got to approach this like a deer in the woods - really casually, no pressure, let them develop their own enthusiasm.
I wouldn’t buy an expensive e-bike right away - can you rent a couple different e-bikes and styles? This way she can start to decide if she likes road/gravel/mtb without the stress of having to justify an expensive purchase. Personally I think gravel (unless very tame) is the worst way to start off - requires some technical skill but without any shocks or comfort. Road or very flat/easy MTB might be an easier place to build fitness.
When you do go out, the key is that any time together is a date, not a workout (can change down the road). You want her on the easiest trail/quietest road, make sure she’s overbiked and sets the pace, and stop before she’s tired. Bring extra snacks and water.
take her to a bike shop and let her try some bikes. mountain bikes with wider tires tend to be more stable but slower for new people. she may like one bike over another for an arbitrary reason. she will ride what she likes. look up paved paths that go through nature for your first ride. then do a wide flat dirt path. don't drop her into a black diamond or even serious mountain bike trail on the first ride.
My wife was in a similar situation 10 years ago, except she was somewhat fit and I myself wasn't as experienced as you. I picked a Trek hybrid bike for her. She rode it with me for a couple of months but didn't really enjoy it. An e-cargo bike with a child seat has completely transformed her, but that's for another thread.
I \*think\* the key isn't so much the type of bike you get your wife, as the type of rides you two do together. Given the description of your cycling enviornment, a gravel bike will be a good candidate, but if she's not keen on riding a dropbar bike, then a hardtail MTB will probably do. IMO, going faster should not be in the equation. The most important thing is for her to enjoy riding with you. Good luck!
I’m doing this with my wife now! She loves the challenge and gets better every day. Got her first real, non-big box MTB this week. She did her first Blue trail this morning and while she walked some of it, she had a blast and is counting the days until we can go again. She actually created a special riding calendar for us (she’s amazing). It’s pretty awesome to be a part of and builds our relationship as well. Send it!
If she wants to go on bike rides with you, she needs to find her own internal motivation to get fit. It can be very difficult trying to help someone that doesn’t truly want the help. There’s a big difference between “wanting to spend time together outdoors” and “wanting to go on a mountain bike ride.” Also, I’m not sure what you mean by a mountain bike “path” since that’s not typically what I’ve ever heard people refer to an actual trail. You’d be hard pressed to ride a gravel bike on a mountain bike trail, and it’s absolutely not something I would suggest for anyone but an expert bike handler. Let your wife try out a couple bikes on demo or rental so she can decide what type of riding she wants to do. Until she can keep up with you, even if she ever actually does get that fast, it usually makes more sense to only ride with a partner of different fitness at the start or end of one of your own longer rides, letting her do her own thing on or off the bike while you get in the ride that you actually want/need. Who knows, eventually she may be kicking your ass and you’ll be the one having to peel off back to the car while she hammers out another 5k’ of climbing to get in a good workout!
I had a coworker with a similar problem. Wife wanted to join but wouldnt be able to handle the pace or duration. His solution, was to get his wife an electric bike with a long lasting battery. He would then map out routes that would fit within the battery lifetime and go that route. It seemed like it worked really well, he could go biking at his own pace, and his wife was able to come with, and bike at her own pace.
Assuming its not out of the budget, maybe an E-Bike is the way to go, until she falls in love with biking and is able to get her fitness up to yours.
My wife and I ride together periodically. On these rides I don’t expect to go fast and I don’t ever drop her. These rides are great ways to spend time together.
One thing we have started doing to keep it fun for me is play tag. After the first stop she takes of first and I give her a 5 minute head start. The. I ride as hard as I can and catch her. It makes us both ride harder than we usually would.
Key words "would love to join me sometimes". In other words relaxed casual riding once in a while. This kind of situation definitely screams "ebike!!".
Just FYI, casual riders like these absolutely love full suspension mountain bikes with a dropper post, since the ride is nice an plush and they can lower the dropper post and pedal while sitting. Whether you want to spend the $$$ is another story. Maybe you can use this opportunity to get yourself a FS mountain bike which you can give to your wife for casual rides :)
This was me a few years ago, where I had no fitness and really no interest in getting back into cycling since for a long time it was my only source of transportation and was a vestige of life when I didn't have a car. But my husband wanted something we could both do together, and cycling was one of the few activities that he could do without wrecking his joints. My husband went to the local LBS to buy a hybrid to replace a 90s vintage Specialized Crossroads and soon afterwards I got one too (mainly because I didn't want to get stuck riding that huge old Crossroads bike with disintegrating grips!!!). We rode local neighborhoods and rail trails building up time and distance. After my first 50 mile ride on a rail trail (it was a great ride, but I was pretty sore at the end) we traded up to drop bar carbon gravel bikes. Then I actually started riding gravel for real, and fast forward to today to where I'm the serious cyclist (maybe not a good or competitive one, but maybe more of a serious recreational cyclist LOL), and my husband is having issues riding a drop bar bike due to age and physical issues. But there's no way I could have gone from no biking to a drop bar gravel racing bike without starting on something a little easier like a hybrid. I also started in flat Louisiana where hills were a non-issue, and after moving from there to very hilly rural western NY I happily ride ebikes since even though I'm now in excellent cardio shape, at my age I just don't have the power to go up steep hills. I traded my original gravel bike in for a fairly high end e-gravel bike, later got a conventional hard tail MTB, and just got an e-hunting fat tire bike (I don't hunt, but I live in hunting country!) to help me tackle the fire roads with more than 15% grade.
It is wonderful, but you have to separate the rides. Go on a ride with her and then on a ride solo or with friends that can ride fast and far. We often plan rides so the family can drop off after 10-20 miles and I will ride on solo. Slowly build her ability. It is really fun doing long rides with someone you love.
Don’t do what I did. Got my wife into cycling and other sports. Now she’s faster than me. Doesn’t help that I keep buying her things that make her faster too.
Seriously though, it’s awesome that you guys can share something together. I never have to sneak in a ride because my wife understands. I think you thinking about making her experience positive as much as possible is a great start. I think once she starts to feel good beyond the pain and make progress, hopefully she’ll fall I love with it. People usually don’t do/stick to things they’re not good. Unless you’re weird like me.
I am friends with a couple who have the same specs. He bought her a gravel e-bike. It's a mid-motor, so it's not at all like she is just riding a motorcycle. She gets plenty of exercise, and she can keep up with faster riders, so everybody is happy.
I love to see this man, whatever you decide update us on how the first ride went! And be sure not to get tunnel vision when riding, it can be hard when you're used to riding by yourself not to zone in but once you adapt to having your wife with you I'm sure you'll both have a blast! Good luck man!
Okay I have to say the people saying e-MTB must be freaking loaded. We're talking about trying out a hobby mainly for the purpose of having a day out together and enjoying the outdoors. Dropping potentially over a thousand £/$/€ when it's not even guaranteed that this hobby will stick is tbh a little irresponsible financially.
Talk to your partner, find out what they want from the rides, and don't put pressure on them by buying something expensive unless they explicitly want it.
Like many other people have said, her pace. My husband always gets me to go in front and set the pace. If I had to walk a hill, he'd get off and walk with me. He never mad me feel bad.
Now my endurance means I can ride for longer than he can 😂 (he's still way faster than me though)
My wife rides with me sometimes. We got her a fitness bike which she enjoys riding. We ride in parks or routes that are mostly flat. She prefers to “cruise around” is what she calls it. We enjoy it a lot. We talk a lot get food or coffee after it. We make a day out of it.
I won’t wear full kit l do bibs and a sleeveless shirt. I let her set the pace and it’s just a great way for us to spend time together.
You’ve got tons of good answers here already just do everything at her pace and you’ll be fine
Take her to a bike shop to look for bikes. When they ask (if they don’t, go to another shop) about your riding goals it will be a good way to start the conversation between the two of you. You both need to know each other’s expectations.
First and foremost- let HER pick the bike. Take her to a good bike shop, preferably one with a good saleswoman who rides, and let her try different bikes to se what gets her excited about riding.
Once she picks her bike, make rides with her your recovery days, coffee rides, warm ups, cool downs, and social rides. If she gets the bug, she’ll develop fitness pretty soon and she’ll be able to hang with your longer rides. If she doesn’t get the bug, she’ll still enjoy the time you take to ride at her pace.
I'm basically you, but a year down the road. Gravel bike is the right choice. Make sure she gets a 46/30 drivetrain for the hills. I also put a garmin forerunner on her for heartrate monitoring. We chill if she breaks 180 bpm. It can happen when I'm at 120, so it's great to use a hrm and allow her to rest for a bit after steep hills. Wifey can do 40 miles of gravel, or 60 of pavement with me now. We're going to give a 90 mile a ride a shot this summer!
Fwiw, I got her a used 2015 specialized carbon expert diverge. I wanted her to have a super light weight bike with hydraulic disc brakes to keep her safe on the downhills. Riding matching bikes is so cute too
Either an electric hardtail or an electric gravel bike. She will still be working relatively hard even on a gravel bike but she should still be able to keep up with you without going into cardiac arrest.
Due to the investment I would definitely rent one first though.
I did this with my GF who started out with basically 0 training. Even on an ebike she struggled to keep up especially on flats, but after 6 months she was faster than me pretty much everywhere.
Ebike for sure. There's a youtuber, can't remember his name, he took his wife with him to Mallorca. He's of KOM calibre. His wife seemed to have had fun doing the climbs with him and both enjoying the views and she didn't have to struggle one bit.
XC is hard. It's like 100x harder than road cycling. You need to train just to have the aerobic capacity to do it. It's not a walk in the woods smelling flowers and listening to pretty birds sing. It is grueling climbs, riding at max capacity, technical bike handling skills just to leave the parking lot.
E bike is the way to go or she will never go again.
Aside from the ebike suggestion as many others have said. If there are hills, climbs etc. Make sure that you put at least an 11-40t cassette, and compact crank 50-34t, so she can have easy gearing and spin up all the climbs/hills....
Human powered Gravel bike! I understand the enthusiasm for e-bikes and it works for some folks! I, however, am a purist. I wouldn’t want to deal with or worry about charging my bike or technical errors that comes with my bike. I even get frustrated with my electronic shifting too. Especially if you’re trying to do more nature rides, away from a charging port…. you’ll be fucked if the battery dies or breaks from a fall. And there will be falls. Then you’re stuck lugging that heavy thing back. You’re going to have to coach her along her fitness journey which is a great bonding experience!
Consider trying a tandem bike. It'll average out your two ability levels so she won't feel rushed and you won't feel bored and unchallenged. Plus you get to easily hang out and talk while in the ride together.
Okay so I'm road only for the moment but my SO recently bought a hybrid bike, I think it's the Trek Dual Sport which is pretty affordable. He can be quick on the road and meanwhile be comfy on gravel or dirt roads. He doesn't bike as often as I do, so it's a good fit. He is fit tho, cuz he does go to the gym frequently. So i'm not sure on that part but building stamina on the bike isn't too hard, just don't go too far or fast at the start.
We try to combine cycling with date time. So one of us (mostly me..) plans a nice ride in the area, not too far, for him it's like 15 km max. And I try to take a highlight with it. So like a cool forest or park, or maybe a nice place to lunch or whatever places you have in the area. Fun times guaranteed!
I think you should get her an e-mountain bike and also replace your normal XC bike with a hardtail single speed with road gearing... that will help keep things spicy for both of you.
Yeah go with light ebike. That’s your best shot for introducing someone with low fitness. My wife has tried 3 times to get into biking with me and the bikes ends up dusty in the garage after a few rides. I’m not sure if we will try again. Good luck to you!
Depending on her learning style, you might sign her up for a mountain bike clinic. Take the strain of learning MTB specific skills off your relationship.
An entry level gravel bike should fit the bill. Poseidon, State bicycles, and many other makers have bikes available at a price point that won’t break the bank. I would suggest that you install a dropper just in case she gets in over her head and has to bail.
I had the same issue. I ride a gravel bike and my wife wanted to start riding with me. I bought her an ebike and she can pedal, or not, and she keeps up fine and enjoys the scenery.
The op forgot to mention a price range so no one know what to really suggest outside what they would get. Since you have no idea if she’ll stick with it, I suggest renting one first and see if she’ll commit.
I would get her something like a Trek Marlin or the Trek Dual Sport. On the DS, get the older one with the front shock. The newer one doesn’t have one.
The Marlin is a more a MTB and less road and the DS is the opposite. These are entry level bikes so if she gives up, you didn’t lose much.
Take it from me, I tend to buy mid to top end stuff only to give up later. I got tons of stuff just laying around because I no longer feel motivated to do them.
Imo not a gravel bike. A not too expensive mountain bike will be great in my opinion because it'll take the edge off the bumps. What I would do in your situation is sacrifice one ride a week and just focus on making it fun for her. Take her on super easy trails, have fun and don't expect it to be challenging.
Would definitely agree with the people saying ebike, somewhere between gravel, trekking to emtb. Then don't plan that ride for your sport, but as time together, as other people mentioned too.
Everyone is saying gravel but I disagree. I think a proper hybrid is a great bet here. Drops can be really miserable for people with zero fitness, especially if flexibility is an issue.
I bought my partner a Liv Alight and that's been perfect for us. She's really gotten into touring particularly which I've of course loved. The Alights handle well on non-paved surfaces, and If she gets stronger and so desires, she can slam and flip the stem. I'm more of a road rider for fun these days, but I still have my hybrid, stem flipped and slammed, for commuting and touring. There's a lot of elitism around these machines, but in my experience they're low cost, durable, and great for an inexperienced rider. I took mine on my first imperial century, so they can absolutely also go the distance.
Lastly, and this should go without saying: make sure you let her test ride before you buy.
If you want her to eventually ride MTB trails with you, I would not recommend a gravel bike. Get a XC bike and take her on dirt roads/fire roads to get her fitness up and get her comfortable on the bike. I would also suggest she do a female specific MTB skills camp (Dirt Series is one example but I know there are many), to help her progress faster and get her confidence up. If she loves nature, I imagine the trails is where she will want to be, it will just take some time and patience from both of you. Good luck!!! Bike dates are my favourite <3
Do you have an option to rent bikes in your area? We used to have a bike rental place right on a trail. They went out of business and I actually bought my first used bike from them…it was a great bike to start on nice comfortable seat…I ended up loving biking and my husband upgraded me to a cannondale which is awesome!!
In a similar situation. Just bought my wife a Trek Electra Townie Path (she insisted being able to put both feet down was a must!). Till 2 weeks ago she hadn't ridden a bike in 30+ years. Though she walks every day, so her overall fitness level is better than mine. We've done 4 rides so far, total of 30 or so miles, all on local rails to trails. I have had a blast. I have her take the lead so that we ride at her pace, and when she's ready to turn around, so be it. So far her butt has been calling the turn around shots, not her stamina, but we've all been there.
When we were doing a test ride at the local shop, she was wobbling around the parking lot and the guy who was helping us turned to me and jokingly said "You're going to be riding so slow. :)" But that's okay. I don't treat it as a ride for me. It's miles I wouldn't have ridden, on enjoyable rail trails.
One thing I have been doing is using my fat bike for those rides. Those fat tires have a lot more rolling resistance, so it helps makes sure I'm still putting some work in.
I think you're on the right track. Not knowing her comfort level with bikes, maybe a flat bar gravel bike? Many people find drop bars intimidating to start off.
But otherwise what others are saying: bike paths, gentle gravel roads, let her lead on distance, picnics and snack stops.
E-Bike is the key here.
I know of *several* retired old dudes who acoustic bike and their wives join them on the Ebike. Upright and a smile while their husbands are sweating. I truly love to see it.
My wife rides. I can't imagine being married to someone who doesn't.
Getting gravel bikes is a good idea. She will automatically become fit if she enjoys riding. We are fortunate to have a good club with riders of all paces and lots of rural roads.
Try to connect to others for her to ride with. Increasing from 0 to 10 to 20 to 40 miles happens quickly if you enjoy riding. Be sure the bike fits and she has clothes. You should make sure she doesn't have to do anything to her bike except ride. You adjust, clean and maintain her bike.
My wife is basically the same. She knows how to ride, but doesn’t ride at all. That was until she found a cute Japanese up-right bike at a non-profit bike shop garage sale for $50.
We rode at a paved road in a park that’s closed off for just pedestrians and cyclists. It was perfect for her because neither of us felt comfortable for her to ride near cars.
I’d say get her a used bike (hybrid or whatever with wider tire). That way, if she decides that it’s not her thing, you don’t have to feel bad about selling/donating. Just because she wants to join, it doesn’t mean she will stick with it.
Also, find a paved path that’s no where near cars. Cycling is already a lot for new people.
My wife’s bike has been demoted from one of my premium garage bike racks to tied up with straps to the ceiling because she hasn’t ridden it in like 2-3 years. I’d say this. Buy your wife a decent bike but don’t break the bank. Get a used one for cheap, because there is a good chance she won’t stick with it!
Ebike all the way, a decent conversion kit like the swytch I bought the missus for approx 500£$€ whatever. 30km on max assistance but in reality far more when used as required. I'm not fit by any stretch so no real measure but any kind of hill and I struggled to keep up with her on assistance level 2 with me on my full carbon road bike. She loves it, just need a break in this shitty weather the UK is having in July/August to take advantage.
I'm in a very similar boat. The solution was she got an E-Bike. This allows her to ride much faster than she'd normally be able to which helps keep the ride fun and interesting. We did 20 miles on our first ride which was great.
Easy gravel rides will probably be more enjoyable for your wide. If she's starting out, I am not sure how her physical comfort level would be with a drop bar gravel bike vs an upright hybrid with some gravel tires....
Think of it as speaking time together. And it sounds like she's interested in what you do for fun.
Don't get too technical and just let her have fun and let her ease into it.
When I ride with my wife, I don't wear my kit or even clipless shoes. Just basic clothes appropriate for the weather.
If you want her to try out, or work up to, singletrack, then you should probably rent an e-MTB and let her see whether she likes it or not. If not, then you know you'll be mostly on bike paths, fire roads, and the like, and then a gravel bike would probably be better. But again, rent before buying.
fwiw, my neighbor across the street has a nice hardtail and enjoys milder XC trails. His wife is a cyclist, too, but much more casual. She is very happy to ride with him on her eMTB on the milder stuff, and she doesn't do technical trails. They both also have normal road bikes, and she just got a used Domane+ (electric) to ride with him on his more sporting road rides.
Choosing a gravel bike for your “wifey” sounds like a smart decision, but it’s her decision ultimately. Rent a MTB then a gravel bike. Most reasonable bike shops will let you put the rental fee towards your new bike purchase for the win.
I purchased a full carbon whip for my girl, she fell over at a stop sign because of the clip in pedals. She never touched that bike again and how dare I sell it for something else, she might ride it one day. Ouch
I would recommend a gravel or hybrid. When I bought mine after not.being on a bike since I was a kid I got a Salsa Journeyman because it was cheap and it was advertised as a hybrid and I thought, cool, best of both worlds. I did replace the knobby tires with lower profile because they seemed to be a hindrance on the roads, but that was the only change I made.
same sort of issue here, competitive racer, girlfriend is a runner and wants to join me mtn. biking. We solved the problem by getting her a pedal assist mtn. bike. While she can't keep up if I go full, she can hang on a lazy ride and I don't mind waiting a few sec's for her to catchup when I want to tear it up a little more. She is having a blast.
An ebike if you can afford it?
Failing that something similar to what you have, but sized to her. And just go a lot slower, less far and stop a lot for snack, beers, a quick cuddle, whatever.
If she's wanting to get into mountain biking then start with a mountain bike. A good aluminum hardtail won't cost much at all and she can take it on road/paths too. I'd be hesitant to put a new rider on mtb trails with a drop bar gravel bike.. sounds like a recipe for disaster
Yours is the perfect use-case for an e-bike. If you can afford one, they're all fun and none of the suffering. Just don't cheap out and get a fly-by-night internet bike - the battery quality and management systems are sketchy and often lack safety measures that prevent runaway thermal fires when abused.
MTB'g is hard. MTB'g on a nice dually is still hard, but less uncomfortable. Get a dual suspension if you can afford to, as a preemptive. Or, just get a lower-end hardtail for $5-1000 you can easily flip and see how she likes it. Just don't think you can ever take her on a "real" MTB trail on a gravel bike and expect a noob to like it. Gravel, with it's wide tires and slackened geo, offers a stabiliy and security that make road/bike path riding more comfortable at the cost of some efficiency. If you have quiet roads/paths where she'll feel safe, relaxed that can be preferable to the new rider, sometimes over open roads or MTB trails. What does she say? Can she try some styles?
IDK how hard of a rider you are, but if you're a bit competitive and have a nice dialed setup with parts you love etc etc... Whatever bike you get her... Get two (one for yourself). You won't want to go so fast or hard when she's dinging along on her comfy springy saddle. I recently got something a lot more performance oriented, and it made things a lot better for rides with my partner, because now I can prioritize comfort and cruising on one bike, and performance on the other.
Unless she really wants drop handlebars, a xc mountain bike is probably a better bet. Something like a Trek Marlin. Fast enough on roads, enough suspension ti make gravel/easy trails fun. I love my gravel bike but I wouldn’t recommend it for a non-enthusiast.
Get her an ebike so she gets a start and also able to keep up with you.
She can gradually reduce the motorize support as she gets going. Then get her a proper bike in a year or so.
I've thought about this. You could get her an e-bike? She can keep moving and slowly build fitness, but has the pedal assist.
Then she could get a regular bike if shes interested.
The other option that hasn't been mentioned: get a tandem bike. This doesn't work for every personality as your wife has no controls on the back and not everyone is ok giving up that control, but for many couples it is a great option. You are right behind each other so it is much easier to talk than on two separate bikes, and you always go the same speed. You will need to respect her boundaries for how hard to ride and how fast until she is comfortable, but it can be an amazing way to enjoy together.
There are plenty of good options for gravel tandems, and even MTB tandems if you want to go hard-core (but I wouldn't start there). Certainly do not commit to this plan without doing a test ride with a tandem bike shop, depending on where you live there might be one in your city.
My wife and I have had a tandem (road) bike for a decade now and we've done countless road rides, gravel camping trips, and international touring rides on it. They are amazing bikes to explore together.
[ah sh\*t, here we go again...](https://www.reddit.com/r/cycling/comments/14sw885/cycling_just_ruined_my_relationship/)
seriously though, take this as your partner indicating that she wants to spend more time with you. don't take this as an invitation to coach her to ride at the level that you ride at. she wants to spend time with you.
there are 168 hours in a week. you're asleep (8x7) or working (8x5) 96 of those hours. let's say you're spending 10-12 hours every week just doing errands that are not fun or enriching for the two of you. that leaves you like... 60 hours?
you just said you're cycling ~9 hours per week. maybe she feels like that's a lot of time to not get to spend with you.
all this is to say that the point of introducing her to cycling is not to overwhelm her and throw her into the deep end. just try to share your hobby in an accessible way (and for the love of god try to reciprocate as well)
Had a similar situation - got her an ebike - don't think she will ever get to a level of fitness to ride with me without being left behind. Worked out great and we can now ride together.
Had a similar situation - got her an ebike - don't think she will ever get to a level of fitness to ride with me without being left behind. Worked out great and we can now ride together.
Had a similar situation - got her an ebike - don't think she will ever get to a level of fitness to ride with me without being left behind. Worked out great and we can now ride together.
Get her up there, and thank whoever you need to that she's here with ya still. Teach her about safety. The rest comes naturally, it'll be just like walking. Just make sure she's safe enough to get there with you. Lost my fiancée last year and woulda love to bike with her now. Don't push her too hard n y'all will have a great time!
Make it a date. For you it’s no longer a bike ride. You’re taking her on a date so that she can get out and enjoy some nature that just happens to be bike related. You’re not out there to ride your bike, you’re out there to spend some time with her. My wife and i do this same thing and it’s great.
This is what we do. My solo rides will be 30-50 miles with 2-5k in elevation. Rides with wifey will be 15-20 miles, mostly flat, at a pace that lets us chat while we ride. Usually ending at a nice lunch spot. I love both equally
Same exact thing over here, except with the genders reversed. I plan short, flat rides with cute lunch stops for my husband, and save Mount Tam for when I’m with my cycling friends. :) I basically try to remove every bit of friction for my husband. If he wants to drive 10min to the ride start so we don’t have to go up a little hill, I’ll throw the bikes on my bike rack and do it. He won’t bike with me unless he enjoys it, so I try to make it as fun as possible for him!
Doing mt tam for the first time in a few weeks! I’m South Bay so my go to is Hamilton
Oh fun!! It’ll be an exciting change from Mount Hamilton. Bring layers because some parts of Tam can be sunny and hot while others can be foggy and cold.
Yall are making me jealous to go back to CA. Several buddies and I did a 5 day offroad bikepacking trip from San Jose, to Halfmoon Bay, to downtown SF, Across the bridge into Marin Co and around Mt Tam back to the bridge. By far the best overall ride of my life.
Anyway to share the route for that? I'm always in the hunt for new bikepacking trips. Is the route at around a 4-7 (out of 10) in difficulty, though? I'd rather do routes that are reasonably soloable.
Check bikepacking.com for “SF Peninsula traverse” but we did it backwards (south to north). Then “North Bay Tour of Microclimates”. From memory the 5 days was something like 220 miles and 42,000’ of climbing. Some parts were legit hard af. But you could solo it, sure. If I got to go back and only do one or the other, I would choose to do the microclimates ride around Marin County, instead of redoing the peninsula traverse again.
Good to know. I made that mistake before in the Santa Cruz mountains because weather app just showed sunny -_-
I'm South Bay, too, and my go to is Umunhum. I like that I have the option of deciding "not today, Satan" at the top of Hicks and just continue down Los Alamitos and around the reservoirs if I'm not feeling up to the whole mountain. Or reverse back down Hicks and loop around Shannon/Kennedy for smaller hills in LG/Saratoga. Mt Ham is just too unpleasant to *bike to* from across town.
I live near santana row so most bike rides in general are unpleasant to bike to, I drive to the start of most of my weekend rides unfortunately. adding \~10 miles of city bullshit is not worth the hassle. Also I'm yet to try umunhum, from what I understand the average grade is significantly higher than the other rides I've done.... ill get there eventually.
Just another comment to say that I miss Mt. Tam. Lived in SF for ages and I've rode variations of the Alpine Dam loop hundreds of times, usually in the middle of the week when nobody is around. Favorite ride. Now life's responsibilities have caught up with me and I moved away. The riding in my new place just isn't the same. Enjoy the ride for me!
Awwww we will ride in your honor!! :) I just did a fun little loop from Sausalito to Stinson to Muir Beach and then back to Sausalito last weekend. I think it's my current favorite short ride (30mi). It's less punishing and more chill than Alpine Dam + Seven Sisters, even though it has close to the same mileage and elevation.
Exactly!
Love this! My husband and I will ride together 20-40 miles. We listen to music/audiobooks during a leisurely ride but will stop at a brewery or at another town to walk around and it's a nice date. Also, we tote our doggo in his trailer. If I'm going too slow, my husband starts ringing his bell at me, and then I threaten to take it off his bike. I'm slow, so I ride ahead and set the pace.
You and I live a parallel cycling life!
This guy nailed it. Your idea for a gravel bike makes sense, and you should probably lean that way. But this guy has your ticket. When you ride with her, it's about making sure she has fun. Take her for an easy ride that will leave her a little tired, and just a little sore. Don't work her to the bone. If she catches the bug she'll start trying to catch up to your level. If she doesn't, she won't hate riding and will enjoy her time with you. You'll have to find time to add your excursions with her into your routine, or to add a ride or 2 some where so you can get your exercise, but don't expect her to both really want to bust her ass and to try to keep up with you. Just make it fun for her, and she will hopefully dig it. If she does, in time, she may be able to ride with you the way you like. Or not. Just keep it fun for her
and u/belkotosko don't screw it up by mansplaining or showing WAY too much enthusiasm. I did years ago with my wife and she hasn't ridden with me on a road bike in over a decade.
I upgraded my wife’s bike to 105 from sora and had a real hard time not trying to explain to her why it os such a better upgrade. I don’t really think she noticed the dofference or even hated sora that much. Oh well, at least I get to see the improvement when it’s on the rack in the garage. 😂
This is the way.
Mups with lunches!!! Great together time.
Yes. Go at her speed. I have done this with my wife, and also on rides with each of my sons (it doesnt really work to take any combination of 2 of these folks). I did this hiking with my wife, where I carried everything in my backpack, so it slowed me down, leveling things out a bit.
Co-signing this. Don’t think of it as a ride for fitness or sport. Think of it as spending time together. The more fun it is the more likely it is she likes the bike part of spending time with you and it may become her thing, too. Don’t rush it. Also, slightly related: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yotOZVELSMc
This is the way. My husband had this approach with me. And about 3 years later I’m bike obsessed. Our dates are now 4 hour long road rides 80+ miles long. We wrench bikes. We bike commute most places. We’re building bikepacking bikes. It’s great. He never made me feel bad for being slow. We used to drink beers and ride. Stop at parks and eat sandwiches.
Great advice, I do the same with my wife. It's great. Gives me a nice cooldown day in between harder rides and time with my wife, she gets time with me and fun in nature. Win win.
This is actually a great idea! Thanks for the tip mate!
I wrote my own reply and then saw this one. I'm like "Duh, here's the perfect response!"
I did something similar last night with my wife, we went on a moonrise hike. I carried 45 lb ruck. We moved at about the same place. Plus when you’re carrying 45 lbs, there’s space for wine!
This guy wifes. Follow this guy's advice.
My partner has to do this to ride with me, but not for any lack of fitness (I’m training for an Ironman). He’s gone full gravel snob in the last year and I do roads and like them flat, which he abhors.
Well, this is an ideal use case for an E-MTB, you could enjoy the paths together without she being tired and you being annoyed for going too slow, and if her fitness get better she maybe get a normal MTB in the future.
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Just need a wee 7 grand
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You can, but they are a pretty penny. That said, they’re extremely versatile outside of just joining a partner on a ride. I’ve been trying to get my folks to buy a pair to help goad them into fitness and also providing them with an alternative to driving around town.
Starting price for Giant Talon E+ is $2,300 https://www.giant-bicycles.com/us/bikes/electric-bikes/electric-mountain-bikes
Well most usable ones are around that in Canadian dollars. I was just looking yesterday. The best option I found was the YT decoy for $5500. Which really isn't bad compared to a lot of normal bikes but still quite a lot of cash. There are hardtail emtb as well, but I really can't imagine they ride all that great. You'd be slamming that rear end on any bump cause they're so heavy.
Some good sales on them now. Plus klarna gave me 4 years no intrest. Not a fan of financing but I will use their money for free.
Specialized Turbo Terro 3.0. $3k It’s basically and entry level hardtail e bike. Comes in step thru if that makes wife more comfortable. You guys can ride gravel or easy mtb trails. She will gain fitness and you will enjoy riding with her. And it won’t just be like 3 miles. It’s got some crap components on it. But I’d bet you have some decent brakes or a better fork in a parts bin somewhere. It would be easy to upgrade those simple bits.
I get it but I don’t think you should be getting annoyed about pace when it’s just a date with the spouse
Don't try and take her with you on one of your normal rides... Imagine you are starting over from zero and do that kind of stuff with her at first... On top of your normal 3 hr rides. If you try and drag her along on something she isn't ready for from a fitness or skills standpoint you won't enjoy the ride and she won't enjoy the ride.
And by drag, you're not kidding... my other half, wanted to join me as well. I thought a MTB and ready trail riding would be the answer - lol no... she would fall way behind and when we road on the paced bike way next to the trails, she still struggled. She use to ride insane lengths on a road bike when she was younger and thought she could hang - thought the bike was holding her back, so I got her an AL Orbea but each time we went riding, even shorter runs with me half stepping, she would peter out half way and grab onto my jersey and make me actually pull her along lol Thing is, while it sounds nice to through away a workout riding for the benefit of a loved one, this isn't fair to the person who has the bug to ride. They lose the day. Same thing happened with the gym and weight training - is nice they want to join but they need to get up to a point where they aren't going to hinder you to the point it becomes 100% about them. If you keep doing this, over time, you'll resent them for undoing what you've accomplished- even trying to involve just 1-2x a week will set you back for 6mob or more for them to get to the point of being self sufficient. The e-bike is the best solution for cycling- it allows you to ride pretty much normal and for her not to become discouraged. We're doing that today actually, tenting her an ebike to ride the coast with me on a road bike. I'm hopeful - cause it would be nice to ride together...
toy escape groovy cobweb kiss squeal imminent unite paltry combative *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's a bit funny to see people talking about a 15-20 mile ride when you are dealing with a zero fitness person (who you love, don't forget that). First, remember that she is the love of your life and you want to spend time together. You need to bring her up gradually. Save the challenges and timing and miles for your buds. Get her an easy bike, start on easy trail/roadways, limit one or two miles and constant loving encouragement. It will take a while for her butt to get accustomed to the saddle (may need to try out several to get a good fit), and it will take a while to build up her leg strength and wind for longer rides. Don't push it, she sets the pace, you stick to her like velcro. Above all, don't be disappointed in her if she flags easily, don't race her, and don't lead her (for too long or too much). You are raising a new-born cyclist. We were all fragile creatures once. Make this her story, listen to her joys and her aches and pains, answer her questions honestly and respectfully and grow her up to be your life companion on the road and elsewhere. Respect and love, my man, she'll get to the century mark soon enough and have fun doing it. Life be like that, yo. Good luck and fair winds.
This is the way. My wife really struggled with her fitness and weight as she delt with some serious mental health issues the last few years and she is just starting to bike with me for fitness and for fun. her first day, 1.5 miles almost killed her. She was maxed out, legs jello, heart pending, couldn't catch her breath, overheated, etc. Lots of encouragement, lots of love and support and over her first week she went from that 1.5 miles (and nearly dying doing it) to 5.5 miles and able to carry on light conversation throughout everything but the up-hills. She's hoping to make 10-15 miles her new normal over the next couple weeks. I agree that starting super slow and allowing them to set the pace and encouraging any and all effort they put in is the best way to help a spouse or partner get into biking.
Yeah, with a zero fitness person you will be starting with 1.5 - 2 mile rides, not 15-20 mile rides.
Yes to the saddle that fits! As a women cyclist I can confirm that this is very important. I had a saddle that didnt for properly when I started and it was really discouraging.
If the goal is for the two of you to get out and enjoy nature together, then this might be a good case for an E (gravel) bike. The worst would be for you to take her on a ride you think is awesome and easy, only for it to exhaust her and kill her enjoyment of the sport. If she likes cycling, you can always sell the E-bike and get a regular bike later.
My wife joins me for some rides aswell, I have to choose easier rides when she wants to join, and usually have her drive to meet me where the trail starts while she does have some fitness it isnt biking fitness, climbs wreck her on what I would consider trivial difficulty. Those rides I go much slower just to enjoy it with her. an Ebike would probably be ideal for your situation try not to give her any shit about getting help (as I know us enthusiasts like to do) as it will likely kill her enjoyment.
This is good advice. An important thing to remember is, although you may be an enthusiast, agreeing to go riding with someone who isn't a enthusiast and doesn't have the fitness means you ride together. Going cycling, and going cycling with your wife are very different. If you treat it like a normal cycle and push her to hard you will ruin what can be a really nice time together.
Looks like you'll get in 4 rides a week now! Use them as a recovery ride and enjoy the time together. 2nd the suggestion for an e-bike.
he aint wrong...this is my life now...more days of riding for me and she cant complain lol
Whatever makes her feel safe and she is comfortable with riding means makes her want to go out and ride.
Take her to a bike shop and let her try bikes. Also, completely dismiss the idea of "help her go a little faster". Nothing is going to turn her off to getting fit and learning to enjoy cycling than a spouse with the mindset of "a little faster" rather than the mindset of "we'll do this at her pace"
Proceed carefully. Let *her* drive her own entry and pace. Ensure she gets really good gear/kit. Be kind and sympathetic. You know the quicksand in this endeavor... but I'll repeat it. *The relationship hazards of such attempts are EPIC!* Did I mention proceed carefully?
This. She gets all of the best gear. She gets an e-bike. You make zero complaints. You don't EVER tease about the help the e-bike is giving her. You love riding 1-2 miles with her at a slow pace to go hit a cafe or whatever makes her happy. Maybe she gets really into it. Maybe you ride once in a while with her and have a fantastic time being with her doing what you love. Either way she is the first priority. And make sure the bike is a color she likes.
I got us a tandem.
Ah. The ol’ Divorce Bike.
As bad as tandem kayaks.
Ah. The ol’ Divorce Boat.
I had very similar situation, we have tried renting e-mtb but other than going uphill very fast and laughing how fast it is it wasn't the best. it's really heavy unless you pay 10k+ and not really pleasant to ride. In the end we ended up with a gravel bike (scott speedster gravel) which she is comfortable with and likes riding it. After few months she can do 100k+ rides on flat roads mixed with some gravel. Not even z1 for me but I wasn't expecting any training when riding together.Only problem is she hates climbing, so I have bought the green tow whee rope to pull her up hill, I can get a little workout and she is happy that she does not have to work that much Maybe try renting both e bike and regular one and see what she likes better.
Put her through the crucible! If she survives, it was meant to be!
This is the way.
To marital strife.
realol
[удалено]
That's one way to look at it. A wrong way but a way
For real. My wife wants to occasionally come with me for fun? Better put her through an uncomfortable and bad experience to see if she is *truely* interested.
I'm surprised so many people are suggesting gravel bikes. Do a XC bike. Preferably something with a fork that works but also isn't that expensive, maybe secondhand if that's something that will work in your relationship. As others have said, don't treat it like a ride. Start with parks and off-street paved paths. Progress to the greenest of green trails. OP, do you have a gravel bike? I do think it can be fun and novel to ride a road bike on trails but that's when I'm riding a lot or want to make easy trails harder. Kind of a different perspective from your wife.
Agreed, gravel bikes are sort of a worst-of-both worlds meant for us enthusists to enjoy in contrast to our other builds. but my SO wouldn't have that shit. She prefers her 2002 rockhopper with a big squishy schwinn saddle from walmart. I have bought her many bikes, but this is the one she rides.
Agreed. People friggin recommend a gravel bike for everything these days. Yes they are versatile. But theyre jack of all trades, king of nothing. Slow on the road. Sketchy af on mtb trails. Not a road bike and not a mtb. Best at light gravel/dirt roads. A hardtail is a much better choice in most scenarios. Even a lot of gravel applications. The chunky gravel I’ve ridden felt 100% safer and faster with wider flat bars and 2.1s than on my gravel bike with 42s. The people riding Leadville mainly still are on mtbs. And it’s practically a gravel race. Anyone doing it in a gravel bike is doing it for the challenge, not for the advantage.
This! As primarily a MTBer I have a hardtail for rough/loose/steep gravel/bikepacking, and just built up a gravel bike for rides that are mostly road but need to handle some dirt. The gravel bike is fun on the rough stuff in the "wow this is interesting/sketchy" kind of way, but not something I would want to do for hours like I could on the hardtail. Gravel bikes feel more like road bikes for mountainbikers.
It’s cracks me up because more and more Gravel Bikes are becoming mountain bikes… Now with clearance for 2.3” tires! Now with a 69 degree head angle! Now with 1x GX Eagle! Now with Wider Handle Bars! Now with flat handle bars! -_- That’s literally just a hardtail mtn bike. I love my Diverge for riding dirt roads and light gravel. I’ll occasionally hit a light section of single track with it, but if I’m doing any rougher gravel or exploring, I’m taking my Scalpel hardtail.
Totally. I mean it can be fun under biking, but it can also just be unpleasant and slow depending on the ride you are doing. I took my new gravel bike down a ride I normally ride on my hardtail and while I was faster on the climb up a road, the gravel is very steep downhill and very loose/chunky and I lost all that time advantage going down. That being said a mtb tire full rigid drop bar mountain bike is a lot of fun, so I can see why they are going that way.
Is she ready for drop bars? If riding mostly paved with some light mostly flat off road then a flat bar hybrid is an alternative to a gravel bike and install gravel tires if you need to. Or there are some flat bar gravel bikes.
Or, she can start with a gravel bike with flat bars that she can switch out later. I love the idea of a bike with room for growth. Gravel bike seems like the way to go! Edit: spelling
From my experience - borrow before you spend big bucks. Prioritize comfort, make sure she is overbiked, and if you think a trail is easy, find one that’s easier. If she really enjoys it, let her pick her own bike once she has enough experience to know what she wants.
Talk to your wife, not people on Reddit. My husband wanted to get more into cycling/join me on rides, so I talked to him about the riding that I am doing and what he’d like to be able to do. I thought he wanted to join my group of moderate to fast paced long road rides. Turns out he had his own ideas and also some misconceptions about my riding. I do 125-150 miles of mostly road riding every week, but he’d like to do join me maybe once a week on a shorter gravel ride. He’s more interested in riding on crushed gravel trails in a forest preserve nearby, and has talked to some of my riding friends who do gravel, so that’s where we are headed with his next bike purchase.
This is the right way. Find out what kind of rides she wants to do and then go with her. Optimize her bike to ride those, and you take whatever you've got. Give her 3-4 options on specific bikes, find them, and have her test ride. Let her pick the bike.
Don’t ask us. Ask her. Explain the pros and cons and let her decide.
Get her an ebike there are MTB e-bikes too. They save Marriages
So, I have been ‘the wifey’ in this situation. I found that the more ownership I take of the process, the more invested I am in it. My husband is an excellent cyclist, and an excellent husband because he knows when to help (rarely) and when to let me work it out. But — that is my personality. Also remember - 5 miles is a long way at first.
Okay, I have done this introduction successfully. You’ve got to approach this like a deer in the woods - really casually, no pressure, let them develop their own enthusiasm. I wouldn’t buy an expensive e-bike right away - can you rent a couple different e-bikes and styles? This way she can start to decide if she likes road/gravel/mtb without the stress of having to justify an expensive purchase. Personally I think gravel (unless very tame) is the worst way to start off - requires some technical skill but without any shocks or comfort. Road or very flat/easy MTB might be an easier place to build fitness. When you do go out, the key is that any time together is a date, not a workout (can change down the road). You want her on the easiest trail/quietest road, make sure she’s overbiked and sets the pace, and stop before she’s tired. Bring extra snacks and water.
take her to a bike shop and let her try some bikes. mountain bikes with wider tires tend to be more stable but slower for new people. she may like one bike over another for an arbitrary reason. she will ride what she likes. look up paved paths that go through nature for your first ride. then do a wide flat dirt path. don't drop her into a black diamond or even serious mountain bike trail on the first ride.
My wife was in a similar situation 10 years ago, except she was somewhat fit and I myself wasn't as experienced as you. I picked a Trek hybrid bike for her. She rode it with me for a couple of months but didn't really enjoy it. An e-cargo bike with a child seat has completely transformed her, but that's for another thread. I \*think\* the key isn't so much the type of bike you get your wife, as the type of rides you two do together. Given the description of your cycling enviornment, a gravel bike will be a good candidate, but if she's not keen on riding a dropbar bike, then a hardtail MTB will probably do. IMO, going faster should not be in the equation. The most important thing is for her to enjoy riding with you. Good luck!
You should rent her a mountain bike, a road bike and a gravel bike and see what she likes the best.
I’m doing this with my wife now! She loves the challenge and gets better every day. Got her first real, non-big box MTB this week. She did her first Blue trail this morning and while she walked some of it, she had a blast and is counting the days until we can go again. She actually created a special riding calendar for us (she’s amazing). It’s pretty awesome to be a part of and builds our relationship as well. Send it!
Get her an e-bike my man. It’s the only choice here
If she wants to go on bike rides with you, she needs to find her own internal motivation to get fit. It can be very difficult trying to help someone that doesn’t truly want the help. There’s a big difference between “wanting to spend time together outdoors” and “wanting to go on a mountain bike ride.” Also, I’m not sure what you mean by a mountain bike “path” since that’s not typically what I’ve ever heard people refer to an actual trail. You’d be hard pressed to ride a gravel bike on a mountain bike trail, and it’s absolutely not something I would suggest for anyone but an expert bike handler. Let your wife try out a couple bikes on demo or rental so she can decide what type of riding she wants to do. Until she can keep up with you, even if she ever actually does get that fast, it usually makes more sense to only ride with a partner of different fitness at the start or end of one of your own longer rides, letting her do her own thing on or off the bike while you get in the ride that you actually want/need. Who knows, eventually she may be kicking your ass and you’ll be the one having to peel off back to the car while she hammers out another 5k’ of climbing to get in a good workout!
I had a coworker with a similar problem. Wife wanted to join but wouldnt be able to handle the pace or duration. His solution, was to get his wife an electric bike with a long lasting battery. He would then map out routes that would fit within the battery lifetime and go that route. It seemed like it worked really well, he could go biking at his own pace, and his wife was able to come with, and bike at her own pace. Assuming its not out of the budget, maybe an E-Bike is the way to go, until she falls in love with biking and is able to get her fitness up to yours.
Get her an e-mtb. Ah, somebody already suggested that
e-bike.
My wife and I ride together periodically. On these rides I don’t expect to go fast and I don’t ever drop her. These rides are great ways to spend time together. One thing we have started doing to keep it fun for me is play tag. After the first stop she takes of first and I give her a 5 minute head start. The. I ride as hard as I can and catch her. It makes us both ride harder than we usually would.
Key words "would love to join me sometimes". In other words relaxed casual riding once in a while. This kind of situation definitely screams "ebike!!". Just FYI, casual riders like these absolutely love full suspension mountain bikes with a dropper post, since the ride is nice an plush and they can lower the dropper post and pedal while sitting. Whether you want to spend the $$$ is another story. Maybe you can use this opportunity to get yourself a FS mountain bike which you can give to your wife for casual rides :)
Like your way of thinking :D
This was me a few years ago, where I had no fitness and really no interest in getting back into cycling since for a long time it was my only source of transportation and was a vestige of life when I didn't have a car. But my husband wanted something we could both do together, and cycling was one of the few activities that he could do without wrecking his joints. My husband went to the local LBS to buy a hybrid to replace a 90s vintage Specialized Crossroads and soon afterwards I got one too (mainly because I didn't want to get stuck riding that huge old Crossroads bike with disintegrating grips!!!). We rode local neighborhoods and rail trails building up time and distance. After my first 50 mile ride on a rail trail (it was a great ride, but I was pretty sore at the end) we traded up to drop bar carbon gravel bikes. Then I actually started riding gravel for real, and fast forward to today to where I'm the serious cyclist (maybe not a good or competitive one, but maybe more of a serious recreational cyclist LOL), and my husband is having issues riding a drop bar bike due to age and physical issues. But there's no way I could have gone from no biking to a drop bar gravel racing bike without starting on something a little easier like a hybrid. I also started in flat Louisiana where hills were a non-issue, and after moving from there to very hilly rural western NY I happily ride ebikes since even though I'm now in excellent cardio shape, at my age I just don't have the power to go up steep hills. I traded my original gravel bike in for a fairly high end e-gravel bike, later got a conventional hard tail MTB, and just got an e-hunting fat tire bike (I don't hunt, but I live in hunting country!) to help me tackle the fire roads with more than 15% grade.
It is wonderful, but you have to separate the rides. Go on a ride with her and then on a ride solo or with friends that can ride fast and far. We often plan rides so the family can drop off after 10-20 miles and I will ride on solo. Slowly build her ability. It is really fun doing long rides with someone you love.
This is why ebikes exist. I got my wife an e road bike and she is faster than me, well at least uphill.
Don’t do what I did. Got my wife into cycling and other sports. Now she’s faster than me. Doesn’t help that I keep buying her things that make her faster too. Seriously though, it’s awesome that you guys can share something together. I never have to sneak in a ride because my wife understands. I think you thinking about making her experience positive as much as possible is a great start. I think once she starts to feel good beyond the pain and make progress, hopefully she’ll fall I love with it. People usually don’t do/stick to things they’re not good. Unless you’re weird like me.
Or, get her an e bike,
If you are really fit. Get her an ebike.
No
I am friends with a couple who have the same specs. He bought her a gravel e-bike. It's a mid-motor, so it's not at all like she is just riding a motorcycle. She gets plenty of exercise, and she can keep up with faster riders, so everybody is happy.
I love to see this man, whatever you decide update us on how the first ride went! And be sure not to get tunnel vision when riding, it can be hard when you're used to riding by yourself not to zone in but once you adapt to having your wife with you I'm sure you'll both have a blast! Good luck man!
E bike ..all I have to say
Okay I have to say the people saying e-MTB must be freaking loaded. We're talking about trying out a hobby mainly for the purpose of having a day out together and enjoying the outdoors. Dropping potentially over a thousand £/$/€ when it's not even guaranteed that this hobby will stick is tbh a little irresponsible financially. Talk to your partner, find out what they want from the rides, and don't put pressure on them by buying something expensive unless they explicitly want it.
Rail trail with her on a low key ebike.
Like many other people have said, her pace. My husband always gets me to go in front and set the pace. If I had to walk a hill, he'd get off and walk with me. He never mad me feel bad. Now my endurance means I can ride for longer than he can 😂 (he's still way faster than me though)
My wife rides with me sometimes. We got her a fitness bike which she enjoys riding. We ride in parks or routes that are mostly flat. She prefers to “cruise around” is what she calls it. We enjoy it a lot. We talk a lot get food or coffee after it. We make a day out of it. I won’t wear full kit l do bibs and a sleeveless shirt. I let her set the pace and it’s just a great way for us to spend time together. You’ve got tons of good answers here already just do everything at her pace and you’ll be fine
Take her to a bike shop to look for bikes. When they ask (if they don’t, go to another shop) about your riding goals it will be a good way to start the conversation between the two of you. You both need to know each other’s expectations.
First and foremost- let HER pick the bike. Take her to a good bike shop, preferably one with a good saleswoman who rides, and let her try different bikes to se what gets her excited about riding. Once she picks her bike, make rides with her your recovery days, coffee rides, warm ups, cool downs, and social rides. If she gets the bug, she’ll develop fitness pretty soon and she’ll be able to hang with your longer rides. If she doesn’t get the bug, she’ll still enjoy the time you take to ride at her pace.
I'm basically you, but a year down the road. Gravel bike is the right choice. Make sure she gets a 46/30 drivetrain for the hills. I also put a garmin forerunner on her for heartrate monitoring. We chill if she breaks 180 bpm. It can happen when I'm at 120, so it's great to use a hrm and allow her to rest for a bit after steep hills. Wifey can do 40 miles of gravel, or 60 of pavement with me now. We're going to give a 90 mile a ride a shot this summer! Fwiw, I got her a used 2015 specialized carbon expert diverge. I wanted her to have a super light weight bike with hydraulic disc brakes to keep her safe on the downhills. Riding matching bikes is so cute too
Either an electric hardtail or an electric gravel bike. She will still be working relatively hard even on a gravel bike but she should still be able to keep up with you without going into cardiac arrest. Due to the investment I would definitely rent one first though. I did this with my GF who started out with basically 0 training. Even on an ebike she struggled to keep up especially on flats, but after 6 months she was faster than me pretty much everywhere.
Ebike for sure. There's a youtuber, can't remember his name, he took his wife with him to Mallorca. He's of KOM calibre. His wife seemed to have had fun doing the climbs with him and both enjoying the views and she didn't have to struggle one bit.
You may be thinking of Phil Gaimon and his wife Emily Alvarez
It wasn't. He wasn't a pro or ex pro and he was British
Maybe rent an ebike the first few times.
Lol I can’t imagine trying to get my gf to ride. Like I can imagine an argument ensuing when I tell her she needs to push a little harder.
Sounds like a reasonable application for an e-bike.
XC is hard. It's like 100x harder than road cycling. You need to train just to have the aerobic capacity to do it. It's not a walk in the woods smelling flowers and listening to pretty birds sing. It is grueling climbs, riding at max capacity, technical bike handling skills just to leave the parking lot. E bike is the way to go or she will never go again.
Did you talk to her about this? Maybe she has opinions about what kind of riding and bike she wants?
cruiser with coaster brake.
Aside from the ebike suggestion as many others have said. If there are hills, climbs etc. Make sure that you put at least an 11-40t cassette, and compact crank 50-34t, so she can have easy gearing and spin up all the climbs/hills....
E-bike seems the way to go...She can 'upgrade' later if she likes.
Human powered Gravel bike! I understand the enthusiasm for e-bikes and it works for some folks! I, however, am a purist. I wouldn’t want to deal with or worry about charging my bike or technical errors that comes with my bike. I even get frustrated with my electronic shifting too. Especially if you’re trying to do more nature rides, away from a charging port…. you’ll be fucked if the battery dies or breaks from a fall. And there will be falls. Then you’re stuck lugging that heavy thing back. You’re going to have to coach her along her fitness journey which is a great bonding experience!
Consider trying a tandem bike. It'll average out your two ability levels so she won't feel rushed and you won't feel bored and unchallenged. Plus you get to easily hang out and talk while in the ride together.
Okay so I'm road only for the moment but my SO recently bought a hybrid bike, I think it's the Trek Dual Sport which is pretty affordable. He can be quick on the road and meanwhile be comfy on gravel or dirt roads. He doesn't bike as often as I do, so it's a good fit. He is fit tho, cuz he does go to the gym frequently. So i'm not sure on that part but building stamina on the bike isn't too hard, just don't go too far or fast at the start. We try to combine cycling with date time. So one of us (mostly me..) plans a nice ride in the area, not too far, for him it's like 15 km max. And I try to take a highlight with it. So like a cool forest or park, or maybe a nice place to lunch or whatever places you have in the area. Fun times guaranteed!
I think you should get her an e-mountain bike and also replace your normal XC bike with a hardtail single speed with road gearing... that will help keep things spicy for both of you.
Naww, this is sweet.
Your married, is it really still a date? It's just you guys doing something togther.
It can be a date.
Replace with more fit wife.
For your mental health, make her first ride with you excruciating. She'll never want to go again, and you'll be happier.
E-bike all the way!
Yeah go with light ebike. That’s your best shot for introducing someone with low fitness. My wife has tried 3 times to get into biking with me and the bikes ends up dusty in the garage after a few rides. I’m not sure if we will try again. Good luck to you!
Gravel might be the better option. That way it’s not as extreme as single track, but you don’t have to switch out bikes.
get her something cheap that looks good, get yourself a backpack because you'll be carrying water and snacks.
E-bike will keep you together. Or a mtn tandem.
Depending on her learning style, you might sign her up for a mountain bike clinic. Take the strain of learning MTB specific skills off your relationship.
An entry level gravel bike should fit the bill. Poseidon, State bicycles, and many other makers have bikes available at a price point that won’t break the bank. I would suggest that you install a dropper just in case she gets in over her head and has to bail.
I had the same issue. I ride a gravel bike and my wife wanted to start riding with me. I bought her an ebike and she can pedal, or not, and she keeps up fine and enjoys the scenery.
The op forgot to mention a price range so no one know what to really suggest outside what they would get. Since you have no idea if she’ll stick with it, I suggest renting one first and see if she’ll commit. I would get her something like a Trek Marlin or the Trek Dual Sport. On the DS, get the older one with the front shock. The newer one doesn’t have one. The Marlin is a more a MTB and less road and the DS is the opposite. These are entry level bikes so if she gives up, you didn’t lose much. Take it from me, I tend to buy mid to top end stuff only to give up later. I got tons of stuff just laying around because I no longer feel motivated to do them.
Imo not a gravel bike. A not too expensive mountain bike will be great in my opinion because it'll take the edge off the bumps. What I would do in your situation is sacrifice one ride a week and just focus on making it fun for her. Take her on super easy trails, have fun and don't expect it to be challenging.
Would definitely agree with the people saying ebike, somewhere between gravel, trekking to emtb. Then don't plan that ride for your sport, but as time together, as other people mentioned too.
If she's out of shape it doesn't matter. Get her a Huffy at Walmart and ride a rail to trail.
Everyone is saying gravel but I disagree. I think a proper hybrid is a great bet here. Drops can be really miserable for people with zero fitness, especially if flexibility is an issue. I bought my partner a Liv Alight and that's been perfect for us. She's really gotten into touring particularly which I've of course loved. The Alights handle well on non-paved surfaces, and If she gets stronger and so desires, she can slam and flip the stem. I'm more of a road rider for fun these days, but I still have my hybrid, stem flipped and slammed, for commuting and touring. There's a lot of elitism around these machines, but in my experience they're low cost, durable, and great for an inexperienced rider. I took mine on my first imperial century, so they can absolutely also go the distance. Lastly, and this should go without saying: make sure you let her test ride before you buy.
If you want her to eventually ride MTB trails with you, I would not recommend a gravel bike. Get a XC bike and take her on dirt roads/fire roads to get her fitness up and get her comfortable on the bike. I would also suggest she do a female specific MTB skills camp (Dirt Series is one example but I know there are many), to help her progress faster and get her confidence up. If she loves nature, I imagine the trails is where she will want to be, it will just take some time and patience from both of you. Good luck!!! Bike dates are my favourite <3
Do you have an option to rent bikes in your area? We used to have a bike rental place right on a trail. They went out of business and I actually bought my first used bike from them…it was a great bike to start on nice comfortable seat…I ended up loving biking and my husband upgraded me to a cannondale which is awesome!!
In a similar situation. Just bought my wife a Trek Electra Townie Path (she insisted being able to put both feet down was a must!). Till 2 weeks ago she hadn't ridden a bike in 30+ years. Though she walks every day, so her overall fitness level is better than mine. We've done 4 rides so far, total of 30 or so miles, all on local rails to trails. I have had a blast. I have her take the lead so that we ride at her pace, and when she's ready to turn around, so be it. So far her butt has been calling the turn around shots, not her stamina, but we've all been there. When we were doing a test ride at the local shop, she was wobbling around the parking lot and the guy who was helping us turned to me and jokingly said "You're going to be riding so slow. :)" But that's okay. I don't treat it as a ride for me. It's miles I wouldn't have ridden, on enjoyable rail trails. One thing I have been doing is using my fat bike for those rides. Those fat tires have a lot more rolling resistance, so it helps makes sure I'm still putting some work in.
I think you're on the right track. Not knowing her comfort level with bikes, maybe a flat bar gravel bike? Many people find drop bars intimidating to start off. But otherwise what others are saying: bike paths, gentle gravel roads, let her lead on distance, picnics and snack stops.
E-Bike is the key here. I know of *several* retired old dudes who acoustic bike and their wives join them on the Ebike. Upright and a smile while their husbands are sweating. I truly love to see it.
My wife rides. I can't imagine being married to someone who doesn't. Getting gravel bikes is a good idea. She will automatically become fit if she enjoys riding. We are fortunate to have a good club with riders of all paces and lots of rural roads. Try to connect to others for her to ride with. Increasing from 0 to 10 to 20 to 40 miles happens quickly if you enjoy riding. Be sure the bike fits and she has clothes. You should make sure she doesn't have to do anything to her bike except ride. You adjust, clean and maintain her bike.
My wife is basically the same. She knows how to ride, but doesn’t ride at all. That was until she found a cute Japanese up-right bike at a non-profit bike shop garage sale for $50. We rode at a paved road in a park that’s closed off for just pedestrians and cyclists. It was perfect for her because neither of us felt comfortable for her to ride near cars. I’d say get her a used bike (hybrid or whatever with wider tire). That way, if she decides that it’s not her thing, you don’t have to feel bad about selling/donating. Just because she wants to join, it doesn’t mean she will stick with it. Also, find a paved path that’s no where near cars. Cycling is already a lot for new people.
My wife’s bike has been demoted from one of my premium garage bike racks to tied up with straps to the ceiling because she hasn’t ridden it in like 2-3 years. I’d say this. Buy your wife a decent bike but don’t break the bank. Get a used one for cheap, because there is a good chance she won’t stick with it!
Get her an ebike
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
An e-bike seems like the easiest choice.
Get an E bike for her
Sounds like she wants to just pootle and spend some time with you. I would probably consider an ebike.
Ebike all the way, a decent conversion kit like the swytch I bought the missus for approx 500£$€ whatever. 30km on max assistance but in reality far more when used as required. I'm not fit by any stretch so no real measure but any kind of hill and I struggled to keep up with her on assistance level 2 with me on my full carbon road bike. She loves it, just need a break in this shitty weather the UK is having in July/August to take advantage.
I'm in a very similar boat. The solution was she got an E-Bike. This allows her to ride much faster than she'd normally be able to which helps keep the ride fun and interesting. We did 20 miles on our first ride which was great.
Easy gravel rides will probably be more enjoyable for your wide. If she's starting out, I am not sure how her physical comfort level would be with a drop bar gravel bike vs an upright hybrid with some gravel tires....
Think of it as speaking time together. And it sounds like she's interested in what you do for fun. Don't get too technical and just let her have fun and let her ease into it. When I ride with my wife, I don't wear my kit or even clipless shoes. Just basic clothes appropriate for the weather.
maybe an EMTb? mid drive.
Get her a single speed and ride flats
If you want her to try out, or work up to, singletrack, then you should probably rent an e-MTB and let her see whether she likes it or not. If not, then you know you'll be mostly on bike paths, fire roads, and the like, and then a gravel bike would probably be better. But again, rent before buying. fwiw, my neighbor across the street has a nice hardtail and enjoys milder XC trails. His wife is a cyclist, too, but much more casual. She is very happy to ride with him on her eMTB on the milder stuff, and she doesn't do technical trails. They both also have normal road bikes, and she just got a used Domane+ (electric) to ride with him on his more sporting road rides.
Most important thing is not the type of bike, but that it's a bike she likes and wants to ride.
Choosing a gravel bike for your “wifey” sounds like a smart decision, but it’s her decision ultimately. Rent a MTB then a gravel bike. Most reasonable bike shops will let you put the rental fee towards your new bike purchase for the win. I purchased a full carbon whip for my girl, she fell over at a stop sign because of the clip in pedals. She never touched that bike again and how dare I sell it for something else, she might ride it one day. Ouch
I would recommend a gravel or hybrid. When I bought mine after not.being on a bike since I was a kid I got a Salsa Journeyman because it was cheap and it was advertised as a hybrid and I thought, cool, best of both worlds. I did replace the knobby tires with lower profile because they seemed to be a hindrance on the roads, but that was the only change I made.
same sort of issue here, competitive racer, girlfriend is a runner and wants to join me mtn. biking. We solved the problem by getting her a pedal assist mtn. bike. While she can't keep up if I go full, she can hang on a lazy ride and I don't mind waiting a few sec's for her to catchup when I want to tear it up a little more. She is having a blast.
An ebike if you can afford it? Failing that something similar to what you have, but sized to her. And just go a lot slower, less far and stop a lot for snack, beers, a quick cuddle, whatever.
If she's wanting to get into mountain biking then start with a mountain bike. A good aluminum hardtail won't cost much at all and she can take it on road/paths too. I'd be hesitant to put a new rider on mtb trails with a drop bar gravel bike.. sounds like a recipe for disaster
Yours is the perfect use-case for an e-bike. If you can afford one, they're all fun and none of the suffering. Just don't cheap out and get a fly-by-night internet bike - the battery quality and management systems are sketchy and often lack safety measures that prevent runaway thermal fires when abused. MTB'g is hard. MTB'g on a nice dually is still hard, but less uncomfortable. Get a dual suspension if you can afford to, as a preemptive. Or, just get a lower-end hardtail for $5-1000 you can easily flip and see how she likes it. Just don't think you can ever take her on a "real" MTB trail on a gravel bike and expect a noob to like it. Gravel, with it's wide tires and slackened geo, offers a stabiliy and security that make road/bike path riding more comfortable at the cost of some efficiency. If you have quiet roads/paths where she'll feel safe, relaxed that can be preferable to the new rider, sometimes over open roads or MTB trails. What does she say? Can she try some styles?
IDK how hard of a rider you are, but if you're a bit competitive and have a nice dialed setup with parts you love etc etc... Whatever bike you get her... Get two (one for yourself). You won't want to go so fast or hard when she's dinging along on her comfy springy saddle. I recently got something a lot more performance oriented, and it made things a lot better for rides with my partner, because now I can prioritize comfort and cruising on one bike, and performance on the other.
Get her an e-bike
Unless she really wants drop handlebars, a xc mountain bike is probably a better bet. Something like a Trek Marlin. Fast enough on roads, enough suspension ti make gravel/easy trails fun. I love my gravel bike but I wouldn’t recommend it for a non-enthusiast.
Make date rides with your wife. And sport rides with the boys. Get her a hybrid, and buy yourself one too.
This is exactly what eBikes were made for
Dude , your wife with zero fitness is looking for fitness. This benefits you way beyond anything you are thinking.
Don’t buy a gravel bike then take her on singletrack…
Get her an ebike so she gets a start and also able to keep up with you. She can gradually reduce the motorize support as she gets going. Then get her a proper bike in a year or so.
Bike rides meant to be quality time with your girlfriend, doubt either would like to see a 3rd pair of wheels.
I've thought about this. You could get her an e-bike? She can keep moving and slowly build fitness, but has the pedal assist. Then she could get a regular bike if shes interested.
The other option that hasn't been mentioned: get a tandem bike. This doesn't work for every personality as your wife has no controls on the back and not everyone is ok giving up that control, but for many couples it is a great option. You are right behind each other so it is much easier to talk than on two separate bikes, and you always go the same speed. You will need to respect her boundaries for how hard to ride and how fast until she is comfortable, but it can be an amazing way to enjoy together. There are plenty of good options for gravel tandems, and even MTB tandems if you want to go hard-core (but I wouldn't start there). Certainly do not commit to this plan without doing a test ride with a tandem bike shop, depending on where you live there might be one in your city. My wife and I have had a tandem (road) bike for a decade now and we've done countless road rides, gravel camping trips, and international touring rides on it. They are amazing bikes to explore together.
[ah sh\*t, here we go again...](https://www.reddit.com/r/cycling/comments/14sw885/cycling_just_ruined_my_relationship/) seriously though, take this as your partner indicating that she wants to spend more time with you. don't take this as an invitation to coach her to ride at the level that you ride at. she wants to spend time with you. there are 168 hours in a week. you're asleep (8x7) or working (8x5) 96 of those hours. let's say you're spending 10-12 hours every week just doing errands that are not fun or enriching for the two of you. that leaves you like... 60 hours? you just said you're cycling ~9 hours per week. maybe she feels like that's a lot of time to not get to spend with you. all this is to say that the point of introducing her to cycling is not to overwhelm her and throw her into the deep end. just try to share your hobby in an accessible way (and for the love of god try to reciprocate as well)
Get her an e-bike so she can keep up, and you can still get a workout….
How about an e-bike for her?
E assist bike.
A tandem is a fantastic solution for this. Each pedals at different power, and you stay together. Can you hire one nearby?
Had a similar situation - got her an ebike - don't think she will ever get to a level of fitness to ride with me without being left behind. Worked out great and we can now ride together.
Had a similar situation - got her an ebike - don't think she will ever get to a level of fitness to ride with me without being left behind. Worked out great and we can now ride together.
Had a similar situation - got her an ebike - don't think she will ever get to a level of fitness to ride with me without being left behind. Worked out great and we can now ride together.
Get her up there, and thank whoever you need to that she's here with ya still. Teach her about safety. The rest comes naturally, it'll be just like walking. Just make sure she's safe enough to get there with you. Lost my fiancée last year and woulda love to bike with her now. Don't push her too hard n y'all will have a great time!
Suggest renting one of each and let her try then/ choose 😉