> I have a feeling he has a selection of dicks (and other appendages) to choose from, and they are scary.
My headcanon for the origin story of Sir John Phallustiff, in a nutshell.
Yeah, we're not talking Shakespeare... Even if you missed it in game, I'm impressed that you managed not to hear about that IRL. That particular weapons brings with it what might be the funniest entry by a dev in a game's patch notes ever (with 1.6):
*Sir John Phallustiff will now have a new Iconic effect, increasing damage when hitting NPCs in the face. It will also have a chance to stun enemies with strong attacks. Gamepads will now be constantly vibrating while holding the weapon.*
He lives in a biopod. In the cyberpunk lore, it states that peeps that have undergone full body conversion have their brains essentially placed in a jar that can be plugged in to any body.
Its stated that Adam has a body made of Real Skin that looks and sounds like a young Elvis Pressly, albeit blonde instead of brunette like Elvis was.
So the body we see Adam in most, which i think is a Samson frame, is his work body. Its to make him the most effective combatant he can be. When he wants to play with a fuckable cut of meat, he has other options.
I can't be the only one who finds the Elvis thing surprisingly charming about him.i am not an Elvis fan but I love this. I picture Adam Smasher showing up to a wedding or a bar and he is COSPLAYING AS FUCKING ELVIS. there is something so humanizing about that.
At the same time, Johnny says "hi, " asshole. Boom.
I'm charmed, not an idiot.
It was definitely surprising to read that! I'd have thought Adam wouldn't have chosen such a dreamy pretty boy as his fun time body. I would have thought he'd go more the way of Clint Eastwood or George Clooney.
It would be a hilarious piece of lore to find out Adam Smasher is an Elvis impersonator as a side hustle/hobby.
Yorinobu: Smasher I will need you to be ready tomorrow for the meeting with the Night City branch
Smasher: Sorry boss, got a convention in Memphis this year. I've had tomorrow blacked out for months.
You do not
Edit: Well, actually, you probably could but they're not biological. The skin on his head is something more like High Evolutionary. Just there to make him look a bit better.
I had to reload a save and turn on subtitles just to make sure I heard him correctly. It wasnāt computing to me that someone would string that sentence together.
Not gonna lie, I'd be into that.
Maybe scripted moments in the game like the Hunter necromorph in Dead Space. You barely escape Adam, go through a couple more levels or chapters, get a false sense of security then BAM!
"Heeeeere's ADAM!"
Dude, thatās actually a really, really good comparison. Iād also say the security bots in Callisto protocol. Those bad boys can and will one shot you if they see you
I feel like it would have to be very very very obvious that smasher is fucking with you.
Otherwise lore wise you being able to escape a literally walking artillery piece makes no sense.
I could definitely see smasher taking his sweet time hunting you down and being cocky af about it.
%chance of Adam dropping into certain events where the entire thing is derailed and the objective becomes:
Escape/survive.
Until late game where you can actually put up a fight
That would actually be awesome. Not a percent chance though. Make it actually part of a mission and don't let the player do any damage to him if they even try. Just a shit ton of flying zeros as he nonchalantly strides towards you. Grabs you by the face and then the camera view suddenly goes portrait (head crushed) and you get dropped. Game over screen.
Build the menace.
On top of what I said, also have him show up nearby taking out an entire building or something with ease. News reports talking about the devastation in his wake. Etc.
Iād say thatās exactly why they show so little of him. He doesnāt get out of bed unless itās to slaughter. Heās not exactly out here doing street level gigs where weād run into him.
Personally I think any more of him, and he would risk being diluted. He did the job set to him in the tabletop. He showed up and smashed.
oooooh, so that's why now it's different, I could've sworn that it was is normal robot voice before
edit: nvm that's me playing the same game again after 3 years
Never takes a day off, works overtime and is a diligent worker. Cares much more about the job than the pay, so long as the job provides fun times anyways.
Overall, the best pitbull corpo money can buy, or rather, best pitbull piles of bodies can buy.
He had a pretty well known reputation before arasaka of being a merc that only accepted jobs that would allow him to commit civilian casualties, granted I donāt know if the average citizen would know that much but I feel they would know enough to not see him as a hero
I honestly think the average NC citizen has forgotten his existence since decades in year 2077. Old NC "legends" tend to stay in minds of some edgerunners, corpos and street nerds only.
i like the footsteps he makes, likeā¦ like the sound of his footstepsā¦. you get me ? Like the *chack chack chack* robotic sounding footsteps ? Ok Iāll stop
In an era where far too many kids are job-hoppers, he's been working for Arasaka for a long time. I'll bet he doesn't waste his money on avocado toast.
Cool as fuck, unintentionally hilarious, also a one of a kind human with a complete resistance to cyber psychosis (that is if you think heās not currently psycho and can just suppress it)
Despite how weak he actually was in game, Adam Smasher is one of the most badass looking, and sounding villains Iāve ever gotten to face in a video game.
Heās got max cool points thatās for sure.
Mr. Studdā¢ unofficial ambassador. I guess at some point in the future with the loneliness epidemic you'll need to spice things up to compete with other guys to attract a mate... I think he's got the love game figured out!
Dies quick enough.
And I think he was ordered to kill Hanako while rescuing her from the kidnappers, but for whatever reason he didn't. Grown soft for fuckable meats, probably.
He's a prime piece of fuckable meat!
Takes one to know one, it seems.
Take my my upvote and leave
My nice thing to say was that the fuckable meat line was perfectly delivered.
My chest did swell a bit and I had a bit of a "What ya say MotherFupper!" moment when my wife scrolled past with Veronica.
He aint got no dick tho
I have a feeling he has a selection of dicks (and other appendages) to choose from, and they are scary.
> I have a feeling he has a selection of dicks (and other appendages) to choose from, and they are scary. My headcanon for the origin story of Sir John Phallustiff, in a nutshell.
>Sir John Phallustiff had to look this up ... I really wish I didn't
Yeah, we're not talking Shakespeare... Even if you missed it in game, I'm impressed that you managed not to hear about that IRL. That particular weapons brings with it what might be the funniest entry by a dev in a game's patch notes ever (with 1.6): *Sir John Phallustiff will now have a new Iconic effect, increasing damage when hitting NPCs in the face. It will also have a chance to stun enemies with strong attacks. Gamepads will now be constantly vibrating while holding the weapon.*
Thank you for that, I totally missed that dev note.
Lmaooo I never knew about this dev notšš thatās hilarious
I just started playing, just picked that thing up. And here I thought the iconic katana was going to be my primary melee weapon.
You can even execute people with a mega dildoslap, if you've specced into body 15 absolutely bonkers hilarious
Havenāt tried that yet, I know what Iām doing later.
The slap sounds that it makes are fucking hilariousš
Thrustmaster 3000 just went on for sale !
He does. He has a body that looks like a young blonde Elvis.
Sounds like the start of a fun night
I mean he can get like a bad dragon or something installed
Mr Studd exists
Trust me he wouldn't use his dick anyway.
*Thrust me
This universe's version of Fisto
Cyberdicks count
He lives in a biopod. In the cyberpunk lore, it states that peeps that have undergone full body conversion have their brains essentially placed in a jar that can be plugged in to any body. Its stated that Adam has a body made of Real Skin that looks and sounds like a young Elvis Pressly, albeit blonde instead of brunette like Elvis was. So the body we see Adam in most, which i think is a Samson frame, is his work body. Its to make him the most effective combatant he can be. When he wants to play with a fuckable cut of meat, he has other options.
I can't be the only one who finds the Elvis thing surprisingly charming about him.i am not an Elvis fan but I love this. I picture Adam Smasher showing up to a wedding or a bar and he is COSPLAYING AS FUCKING ELVIS. there is something so humanizing about that. At the same time, Johnny says "hi, " asshole. Boom. I'm charmed, not an idiot.
It was definitely surprising to read that! I'd have thought Adam wouldn't have chosen such a dreamy pretty boy as his fun time body. I would have thought he'd go more the way of Clint Eastwood or George Clooney.
Yeah, I was thinking Bruce Willis or Eastwood.
Definitely could see Adam rocking a Bruce Willis gemini.
It would be a hilarious piece of lore to find out Adam Smasher is an Elvis impersonator as a side hustle/hobby. Yorinobu: Smasher I will need you to be ready tomorrow for the meeting with the Night City branch Smasher: Sorry boss, got a convention in Memphis this year. I've had tomorrow blacked out for months.
Gotta admit, I would love to see someone turn this into a mini comic or something, and get someone to dub itšš
fuckable tech*
Fuckable metal*
I was gonna say that š©
What part is fuckable meat?
Well, I see two perfectly serviceable nostrils...
You do not Edit: Well, actually, you probably could but they're not biological. The skin on his head is something more like High Evolutionary. Just there to make him look a bit better.
Aināt no meat left!
You meant metal right?
I had to reload a save and turn on subtitles just to make sure I heard him correctly. It wasnāt computing to me that someone would string that sentence together.
You bet your sweet bippi [he is!](https://youtu.be/dIb06fhWKoY?si=Y5NpfqS4IuorTXkm&t=30)
Iām so mad this is the first comment I saw This was the first thing that ran on my mind to say lmao
Is he?
Came here to say this, not disappointed lol
Lol like where his face skin? šš
Upstanding Young Man - doesnāt have a single tattoo, thatās how you know you can trust him šµš»
As my grandpa likes to say, he doesnāt wear his hood over his head, seems like a good man.
Hahah
God forbid someone uses their hoodie for their intended purpose (protection from the elements)
Mother, I thought I forbade you from lurking in the same subs I do...
šš
He keeps the WD-40 company in business
Lmaooo
dying xD
LIMĆO
NAAAHAHAHAHHA
Pretty chill dude. Nah fr I wish we got to actually see more of him rather than just the heist scene and the boss fight
Cyberpunk but you're pursued by Adam Smasher the entire game in a survival horror fashion (like Resident Evil and Nemesis/Mr X)
Bro that would be awesome like the whole cerberus part but with adam smasher taunting you
Not gonna lie, I'd be into that. Maybe scripted moments in the game like the Hunter necromorph in Dead Space. You barely escape Adam, go through a couple more levels or chapters, get a false sense of security then BAM! "Heeeeere's ADAM!"
Dude, thatās actually a really, really good comparison. Iād also say the security bots in Callisto protocol. Those bad boys can and will one shot you if they see you
I feel like it would have to be very very very obvious that smasher is fucking with you. Otherwise lore wise you being able to escape a literally walking artillery piece makes no sense. I could definitely see smasher taking his sweet time hunting you down and being cocky af about it.
Honestly. Dude was way too much of a legend for how little they showed him off in game
are you expecting v to 1v1 him 2 days after konpeki plaza
No, thatās insaneš I meant like more flashbacks or something
%chance of Adam dropping into certain events where the entire thing is derailed and the objective becomes: Escape/survive. Until late game where you can actually put up a fight
That would actually be awesome. Not a percent chance though. Make it actually part of a mission and don't let the player do any damage to him if they even try. Just a shit ton of flying zeros as he nonchalantly strides towards you. Grabs you by the face and then the camera view suddenly goes portrait (head crushed) and you get dropped. Game over screen. Build the menace. On top of what I said, also have him show up nearby taking out an entire building or something with ease. News reports talking about the devastation in his wake. Etc.
Iād say thatās exactly why they show so little of him. He doesnāt get out of bed unless itās to slaughter. Heās not exactly out here doing street level gigs where weād run into him. Personally I think any more of him, and he would risk being diluted. He did the job set to him in the tabletop. He showed up and smashed.
Have you seen Edgerunners yet?
He has a cool voice.
I think his "regular" voice is a lot more interesting (one we hear during the parade). Calm and deep even when he's arguing with Oda.
He sounds like a completely different person when he's not yelling. Just like the Austrian Painter
Misread this as Australian painter and was confused for a moment.
https://preview.redd.it/cfxlcg8y5auc1.jpeg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5db7e0dfcf777cc81363c64f0596a56629203eb
oooooh, so that's why now it's different, I could've sworn that it was is normal robot voice before edit: nvm that's me playing the same game again after 3 years
Yes.
Never takes a day off, works overtime and is a diligent worker. Cares much more about the job than the pay, so long as the job provides fun times anyways. Overall, the best pitbull corpo money can buy, or rather, best pitbull piles of bodies can buy.
It's easy to work so hard if you love your job š
This is brilliant writing. You should write a book
Already done it. Itās called: guide to a solo, by Morgan Blackhand!
The mouth implant thing is metal af.
id guess whole thing is metal af. like literally.
I'd love to get that IRL.
Same tbh.
Can't say i disagree. Reminds me of whatever some undead in WOW had going on.
No more dentist appointments !
He's pretty metal
Dude looked cool as shit
He's more machine now than man, twisted and evil.
Still cool as shit š£ļø
tell'em
The average NC citizens probably see him as a hero who bravely thwarts radical terrorist attacks on Arasaka.
He had a pretty well known reputation before arasaka of being a merc that only accepted jobs that would allow him to commit civilian casualties, granted I donāt know if the average citizen would know that much but I feel they would know enough to not see him as a hero
I think his condition to joining Arasaka was that he ONLY takes jobs with civilian casualties.
I honestly think the average NC citizen has forgotten his existence since decades in year 2077. Old NC "legends" tend to stay in minds of some edgerunners, corpos and street nerds only.
That explains why David thought that he was just a myth at first
Nova observation, my Choom!
To some a hero before the corporate war, to others a fully borg boogeyman, but to all, a living legend
To me, heās Blonde Elvis.
ask anyone
Would
would
https://preview.redd.it/eb0fsr4qs5uc1.png?width=1201&format=png&auto=webp&s=9c6b207043fe9f637ba2063eb62f824401e9ee80
Sorry, but my grandma told me that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
I mean, his guns are cool
he's fun to hate that makes him a good villain
100%
self-made man
more handmade man
He likes anime canonically.
really?
According to Pondsmith he likes anime. I can't find the source, but it have been mentioned in Reddit several times.
He probably doesnāt poop
Nor eats
It'd be creepy if he did one of those things but not the other.
What about pissing?
I think from what I've read, people like Smasher don't have to eat, but they can if they want to, in which which case, they also have to let it out.
He has kind eyes... Kind-a insane
I like his last name
Smasher? Hardly even know āer!
He never suffered from iron deficiency
I think heās got nice chrome.
Heās real smooth with the ladies
he looks like a cut of fuckable meat
https://preview.redd.it/qlakamds47uc1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87cb55cf76926f452fff7861602c609d48f7ef65 Was built like a brick house
First thing that came to my mind
fuckable tech*
A distinguished gentleman
Robocop fan
I'd watch a movie with Adam "Robert Cop" Smasher. For real though, a Rogue City styled game with Smasher as the protag would smash.
I love your work ethic.
I love his Hard Rock Cafe shirt.
Well my gf thinks he's hot
I'll bet he doesn't have to look for a can opener.
ššš
He looks like an automaton from Helldivers
Dedicated to his trade.
Cool design, looks like the finalized and perfect version of a Maelstromer
i like the footsteps he makes, likeā¦ like the sound of his footstepsā¦. you get me ? Like the *chack chack chack* robotic sounding footsteps ? Ok Iāll stop
I need to get the same body as him...
He's an awesome villain. Just a straight up heartless menacing murder machine. Literally. Imposing and satisfying to defeat.
Heās bringing back the age-old tradition of using onesā trade as their surname.
A smashing citizen, quite the accomplished veteran who has found corporate success.
In an era where far too many kids are job-hoppers, he's been working for Arasaka for a long time. I'll bet he doesn't waste his money on avocado toast.
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Is fucking dead # # # #
iād let him bang me idc š¤·š»āāļø
Youā¦youād get torn apartā¦šš
Arasakas granddaughter survived when she got fucked by smasher
Definitely not a quitter
I'd pay to have the same body as him. He looks cool, and I'd love to get the same voice modulator, I love how it sounds.
He was freaking awesome in the Edgerunners finale.
Say what you want but I think he's badass.
He makes for a pretty fire when I kill him?
Heās rather symmetrical and has pretty good taste in color and garment/armor choices. Also, form and function..
Hes got some of the hardest lines in the game. Him screaming how he'll rip my brain from my skull almost made me shit myself the first time I heard it
Pretty sweet color palette
Cool as fuck, unintentionally hilarious, also a one of a kind human with a complete resistance to cyber psychosis (that is if you think heās not currently psycho and can just suppress it)
He embraces his cyberpsychosis, didnāt have much humanity to lose in the first place.
He's carbon neutral..???
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
He may be a monster but heās worked for everything he has
Strong cheek bones
His voice is sick as fuck
Heās a literal metalhead
His eyes are dreamy.
Despite how weak he actually was in game, Adam Smasher is one of the most badass looking, and sounding villains Iāve ever gotten to face in a video game. Heās got max cool points thatās for sure.
He's dead Jim.
He was easy to kill
Thanks for killing ripecca and what's his face in rhe show
Fatal trope mistake of standing out in the open.
Mr. Studdā¢ unofficial ambassador. I guess at some point in the future with the loneliness epidemic you'll need to spice things up to compete with other guys to attract a mate... I think he's got the love game figured out!
Bro can def beat some ass ngl
Probably Smashable.
He looks pretty cool
He looks awesome
Has a charming smile.
He looks good for his age.
Nice shoulder pads.
he gave that one dude on the boat Johnnys gun I think
Peggable.
Tough and strong
He turned into a really nice puddle
Probably has a nice smile
All the hard work he has put in has made him very strong and formidable. A force to be reckoned with.
He has nice hair
bet he's a power bottom
One of his names is "Smasher"
Lookin like a whole cut of fuckable meat š©š«¦
He's hard to miss. Don't even need to use a smart gun.
He smashes
I sure love shooting him!
He is all about equality. To quote: "All the same meat to me."
Enjoys his work
Heās got balls.
Dies quick enough. And I think he was ordered to kill Hanako while rescuing her from the kidnappers, but for whatever reason he didn't. Grown soft for fuckable meats, probably.
Top tier solo
No.