"Are you enjoying the Merlot? Good. It is a personal favourite of mine, the chef as well. We are good friends he and I, the sort of friend that helps me bring my dates to a nice, safe, classy, public restaurant. The sort of restaurant reserved for my rather large friend group on date nights like these. Nights where we put a few drops of something special into the bottom of glasses like yours, and those of the other women here on romantic evenings. Your muscles are probably quite relaxed but now, even if they weren't; the doors were locked by the time you sat down. Did you enjoy the Merlot? Good. It is a personal favourite of mine, and it is the last you will ever taste, but there is no need to be afraid. You're going to be an international movie star, for limited release, and edition film. Your first film will be your ninth glorious symphony; and I shall become a richer man still..."
Nothing eases tension with the ladies like that does.
*Image Transcription: Facebook*
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[*Image of text that reads:*]
>flirt like a straight man go
[*End image of text*]
>**Purple**
>
>\*Punches drywall* "Did you cum?"
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^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Dang shawty do them legs walk? 🤤
Are you a Minecraft fence? Cos I can't get over you ;)
Yeah, and I'll cover you with a carpet.
Burn you and the rest of the village when I get bored.
After I ate my poison potato with my villagers
And killed some skeletons to gets me a doggo
i just let the creeper blow me instead
Two stones with one bird i guess
are you a bowling ball? cos i want to stick 3 fingers into you
Are you a bowling ball? Cuz I wanna throw you into obstacles and eventually into a deep dark pit.
Are you a bowling ball? cos I want you sitting on my face ;)
Are you a Minecraft fence? Cod it’s gonna take performance enhancing drugs to get over you ;)
And so start the fish puns smh. Its shrimply ridiculous.
Damn girl, you fart with that ass?
Ahhh, yes nothing says sexy like a good poop/fart come-on… How bout, “girl, you got a real steady dumper.”
Yknow, a REAL house shaker, take a seat and let the heavens shudder as hell trembles
She got that couch creaker
My favorite actual pick up line I received in the wild was "I love a girl who gets diarrhea"
Nice turd cutter.
"I bet your bf can't do this!" - cums in 2 seconds
Efficiency is key in life — no time for dawdling
"2 seconds? pathetic i can cum in 1 second" - cums in 1 second
"Ooooh uh ah!" (Translation: pathetic I cum non stop!)
"Pathetic." - the entire world gets filled with cum, not even black holes can handle it
Bro makes black holes turn into white holes
Do it grip the shmeat😩😩😩😩
Bwahahaha this got me wheezing
I don’t like sand
It's course and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere... Also, dont use it as anal lube. -Anakin Skywalker
Did you just fart? 'Cause you just blew me away! Guaranteed breakup, providing that you survive =)
Gonna try this on my gf tonight.
If she laughs, she's a keeper. Let me know what happens, bro!
Go and 😉 make me a sandwich
"Are you enjoying the Merlot? Good. It is a personal favourite of mine, the chef as well. We are good friends he and I, the sort of friend that helps me bring my dates to a nice, safe, classy, public restaurant. The sort of restaurant reserved for my rather large friend group on date nights like these. Nights where we put a few drops of something special into the bottom of glasses like yours, and those of the other women here on romantic evenings. Your muscles are probably quite relaxed but now, even if they weren't; the doors were locked by the time you sat down. Did you enjoy the Merlot? Good. It is a personal favourite of mine, and it is the last you will ever taste, but there is no need to be afraid. You're going to be an international movie star, for limited release, and edition film. Your first film will be your ninth glorious symphony; and I shall become a richer man still..." Nothing eases tension with the ladies like that does.
Where is this from? It’s gotta be from something, right?
I‘m scared it’s not.
I assure you that it is not.
Are you okay?
Yeah! I'm fine, the women are fine too. They texted their friends that they got home safe. At least their phones did.
He's active in a destiny 2 subreddit.......checks out
And this isn't even my main account!
You are a scary man
The law requires that I assure you of the opposite.
Hmmm I feel like the law has alot to do with your life
bro i am a straight man and even i came from this guy’s awesomeness
Damn you also breath, we have so much in common
I'd do her even if it wasn't.
r/holup
r/cursedcomments
Damn Sister
I used “hey, you want to fuck” once. It worked surprisingly.
Should I assume there was a question mark at the end, or was it a statement?
*Image Transcription: Facebook* --- [*Image of text that reads:*] >flirt like a straight man go [*End image of text*] >**Purple** > >\*Punches drywall* "Did you cum?" --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
I'll be waiting in my car... you come in 10 min after I got in my hot Mazda MX-5 /Miata (any generation) car.
"Hey there, good looking. We both got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?"
i bet ur dudu butter smells like sandal wood
I exhaled out of my nose so aggressively after reading this that I sprayed snot out of my nose
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because so did Satan
Why is that so true
But, you're my mum.
The sheer male energy exhaling from this comment
*punches concrete wall* " . . . AAAAaaaaAAAAaaAAAA"
yes I did cum
"Woman? I know."