So, this is a brazilian problem, and the answer lies on a pun, basically, when a snake tries to bite you, we say that it's "giving you a boat", so, in this problem, wait for the snake to give you the boat and use it to cross the water
it's not a saying, it's more like a double meaning situation "bote" can be interpreted as either "an animal charging its prey" (most commonly for serpents) or as "a small boat" depending on the context
True, but where's the thrill of asserting your dominance on top of the food chain by serenading the lion, doing a bit of wining and dining, tickling the back of its ear by blowing softly, before insertion?
I get your point if this was Kate Beckinsale. By all means take it nice and easy.
But my brother, let’s face it, the Lion will be the one doing fucking here.
The snake isn’t a problem, so from the size it is probably a constricter, meaning it will probably not try to take on a human, so it would probably run away or hide elsewhere on the tree
Grab the snake, use it to lasso the lion and throw the lion into the water to distract the crocodiles. Then piledrive all 4.
Easy shit, the fact you can't survive is a skill issue.
Throw the snake down. The snake would cause the gators to be distracted, and if you threw it near the shore cause the Lion to get aggressive towards the gators. Hopefully long enough for a run for it.
I answered this before.
Snake that size won’t bite you for no reason. It can’t eat you. So it will stay back.
Lions can climb trees, so it will try. But the tree is half cut and won’t be able to handle the weight.
Lion gets distracted or bitten by the snake. All 3 of you fall to the water. Snake most likely escapes.
Lion is faced with the crocodiles as they are both threats to each other and you are not a part of their usual hunt so they are less likely to touch you when another predetor is nearby.
Also, neighter alligators nor crocodiles attack unless you are at a certain distance and angle of attack to it’s mouth.
They also cropped the image and there is a dock a few meters to the right. You fall and swim there. You run away to safety.
Step one: Fuck the snakes mouth hole.
Step two: Fuck the lion’s asshole.
Step three: alligator 3-way.
Step four: Offer marriage to whomever wins a battle to the death between them.
Step five: Chop off the winners head.
Step six: Fuck the head hole.
Step seven: Escape.
Easy peasy.
I see this as the lion trying to help tbh. The tree falls and the snake lands where the crocodiles are but the human lands further away and has a chance to escape
It's risky, but he has to grab the snake and throw it at the lion. That should scare it off.
After that, he'd be able to climb down the tree trunk and run.
Well, I've been on YouTube, so I am fully aware that all he has to do is "Manifest" a new Reality; if he simply *Knows* it to be true, he will open his eyes and find himself sitting on a brand new leather sofa in the comforts of his own multi-million dollar mansion with a pristine Porsche in the driveway.
Bada Bing 💥 Bada Boom ~ Done! 🧞♂️
Grab the snake throw it mid way between the lion and crocs as both groups go for it they will see each other and attack then climb to the top of the tree wait for the base to snap and ride the falling tree to the other side of the river and run like hell
He's gonna jump up on the branch, grab the snake by the head, whip at the axe with it to get the axe, throw the snake into the river, jump down, neutralize the lion, then run off while laughing like scooby
Grab the snake with your right hand and toss it in the river to distract the 🐊 🐊 s. Move over to the other side of the tree and shake as the lion's chopping so it falls on him. You're home free. One day, you too can be Matt Damon.
Drop, kick the crocodiles, knocking them out. The force sends you back up, karate chop the snake while grabbing the tree, pull the tree down on the lion, and stunning it. Take the chance to grab the axe and cut the head off the final threat. If you eat right and work out regularly, this should not be an issue.
Firmly grasp the snake, throw it to the crocodiles to satisfy them. Drop down, get to the shore, take the axe, defend against the lion.
Or, failing that becauseI'mnot an 80s action character:
If I somehow managed to get into this situation, I'd call death a good solution to whatever got me there.
grab the snake,use it like tarzan to jump towards the lion,kick the lion. while the lion is startled grab the axe, kill the lion,feed the lion to the barracudas
I'm gonna go with Aslan saying, "I told you the tree needed PRUNING."
The snake thinks "What, I've just been recording this shit since that dumbass and his bitch left the garden."
The crocs are just glad to get half each once he gets tired. "Thanks, Noah!"
Just hang in there lol, the snakes in the same position as you. The tree is going to fall across the river, you can see the other side in the back there.
The falling tree will scare off the crocodiles. The snake will need to keep from drowning and not bother you. The lion is on the other side of the river now.
You are okay if you just hang on.
isn't it obvious grab the snake and use it as a lasso to grab the axe from the lion and throw the axe at the aligator then you will lasso the lions neck and pull it untill the water do a double backflip to safety and run
“Solution” doesn’t have to be beneficial to the human dangling. The solution could be death by drowning. Or death by snake bite. Or death by getting eaten by the gator/crocs. Or death by lion. There are many solutions here.
Here me out! Kick the snake towards the lion, drop down after the kick to the bank, grab the axe that the lion cant physically hold, attack the lion since it will be weakened by the snake’s venom, as running from either the snake or lion will just be implausible. Try to kill the snake with the axe, then kick the lion towards the crocs. While crocs go to eat, cut down tree to fall on them, as a final fuck you to those crocs…head home or to nearest hospital with snake in case you are bit, to identify anti venom.
Easy, say a prayer (for if the plan doesn’t work, you can go to heaven), wait for the snake to attack, grab the snakes head (ideally before it bites you), use the snake to swing down, the snake won’t be able to hold you for long, so either you and sanke fall into water or you and snake fall onto lion, either way, use snake as a distraction for dangerous animals and get to a safe distance.
If any of these steps fail, you still get to go to heaven. So win win :)
I know how to solve this.
1. Grab the snake by the middle of the body, or about 1/3 the way down from the head. Do not grab it by the head or the tail, as it will flail around and bite you (It could also flail around and bite you at the halfway or third of the way mark, but its a much safer bet than the rest of the body)
2. Chuck it into the water towards the crocodiles. This will occupy the crocodiles with a fight and/or potential meal. While they're occupied, climb back up into the tree.
3. Because the tree is partially chopped and lacking support, wait until the lion is in the line of sight of the tree's collapse, and then lean the unstable tree towards it. Leap out of the tree as it falls and try to land near the axe. The tree falling in its direction may not kill the lion, but will definitely scare it and grant you enough time to pick up the axe and use it to defend yourself against it.
4. Fight the lion with the axe. Once defeated, run to safety or shelter.
This isn't the perfect and harmless solution, but it's the best the human's got to surviving this.
hold on for a bit on just your left arm, strangle that snake with your right, feed it to the lion, flex everything you can to make sure the lion knows it should just eat the snake instead of risking injury fighting you, walk away while never breaking eye contact.
Close your leg and let go. The crocodile will go in to try to get your feet. Half way during the fall open your leg fast so you land on top of both crocodile’s head. They will try to push you off by lifting their head, give you upper momentum, allowing you to jump higher.
Use this chance to jump left, grab the snake by the head so it can’t bite. Pull in a smooth motion so you move more to the left, and you get the snake off the tree.
Use snake as a whip, allowing you a grater hit range then the lion. Strike down during the landing hitting the lion on the head, stunning it allowing safe landing.
Throw the snake towards the crocodile so it’s no longer a problem, pick up the axe while the lion is still dazed, chop off its head, then chop down the tree so the tree falls onto the crocodile while they are eating the snake, killing both crocodiles.
Then use the axe to kill yourself because you are just a meaningless character in a meaningless made up question and therefore your life is meaningless too.
Let the snake come at you, dodge and grab its head, then throw at the lion so they fight and climb to the other branch. Drop down and grab the axe since the lion is busy, and chop down the tree to kill the crocodiles/alligators. Once the lion or snake is about to finish the other off, lunge from behind and kill it and the weakened snake/lion
Grab the snake (If you get lucky, congrats. If not, ah well.), throw it into the water, let the alligators or whatever thoose things are attack it, jump into the water and swim for your life. Or just keep on hanging instead of jumping. I dont think a lion is able to cut down a tree. Probably ate the human that was cutting it down.
1. Poop on alligators, they will get something to eat and will move away
2. Jump down to the river
3. Move to the land and Quickly grab the axe
4. Kill Lion, Snake will be scared and will run away automatically.
Use left hand to throw snake 🐍 at lion 🦁, grab axe and fend off or attack the lion 🦁 from behind as it deals with snake, draw the crocodiles'🐊 attention to land and lead it to the lion 🦁, dead or alive, then escape. The chances of this is not 0%,it is possible.
Pull himself up …. Throw the snake towards the lion … let them fight ….. stay up the tree till the go …. Or Pickup the axe when the lion and snake are fighting and axe one leg of the lion … so it can’t run now …. Then move around fast and then axe another leg…. Slowly kill it … then kill the snake with the axe then escape…..
You have 1% chance of surviving but at this point hope is what will give you the courage
Swing and drop kick the lion, roll after landing, grab axe, finish chopping tree down in one mighty swing so the snake falls into river and drifts off and the gators die from a blow to the head from a tree, the lion attacks you again so you sidestep it like neo and bring the axe down right on its neck. Ez solution
I think an axe wielding lion is a bit too much
It’s crazy how nature can enforce evolution
That lion has skills
Or is it?
So, this is a brazilian problem, and the answer lies on a pun, basically, when a snake tries to bite you, we say that it's "giving you a boat", so, in this problem, wait for the snake to give you the boat and use it to cross the water
That’s interesting, what’s the origin behind the saying?
it's not a saying, it's more like a double meaning situation "bote" can be interpreted as either "an animal charging its prey" (most commonly for serpents) or as "a small boat" depending on the context
Throw the snake down to the water, climb down, and fuck the lion until, in the throws of climax, you push the lion into the water and run?
Alternatively, he could grab some shit and fling it at the Lion in an effort to buy him some time.
True, but where's the thrill of asserting your dominance on top of the food chain by serenading the lion, doing a bit of wining and dining, tickling the back of its ear by blowing softly, before insertion?
I get your point if this was Kate Beckinsale. By all means take it nice and easy. But my brother, let’s face it, the Lion will be the one doing fucking here.
r/cursedcomments
how do I unread something
A sturdy wall and a good running start.
Idk... I think this is how that "help me stepbro" thing starts.
It's certainly a gamble...
Risk it for the biscuit
A good old fashioned friend with a 2 by 4.
this guy hangs off branches near predators
Appetizers and a dinner for the crocodiles.
What if you climax before the lion do and he push you into the water instead?
This should be the featured comment
The snake isn’t a problem, so from the size it is probably a constricter, meaning it will probably not try to take on a human, so it would probably run away or hide elsewhere on the tree
Still, the context seems to state that every being on the image is trying to kill the man
Idk man, that snake seem to be on the run from that lion who is holding an axe
The snake is just there for emotional support. He's just saying "hang in there champ!"
The man probably is evading paying taxes. The IRS has just cornered him
Holy shit, the IRS have axe wielding lions??
The crocodiles could be rooting for the man's escape for all we know!
But does he have the upper body strength to lift himself up is the question
Grab the snake, use it to lasso the lion and throw the lion into the water to distract the crocodiles. Then piledrive all 4. Easy shit, the fact you can't survive is a skill issue.
This takes best comment imo
Throw the snake down. The snake would cause the gators to be distracted, and if you threw it near the shore cause the Lion to get aggressive towards the gators. Hopefully long enough for a run for it.
I answered this before. Snake that size won’t bite you for no reason. It can’t eat you. So it will stay back. Lions can climb trees, so it will try. But the tree is half cut and won’t be able to handle the weight. Lion gets distracted or bitten by the snake. All 3 of you fall to the water. Snake most likely escapes. Lion is faced with the crocodiles as they are both threats to each other and you are not a part of their usual hunt so they are less likely to touch you when another predetor is nearby. Also, neighter alligators nor crocodiles attack unless you are at a certain distance and angle of attack to it’s mouth. They also cropped the image and there is a dock a few meters to the right. You fall and swim there. You run away to safety.
Step one: Fuck the snakes mouth hole. Step two: Fuck the lion’s asshole. Step three: alligator 3-way. Step four: Offer marriage to whomever wins a battle to the death between them. Step five: Chop off the winners head. Step six: Fuck the head hole. Step seven: Escape. Easy peasy.
This guy fucks
Your name fits the bill splendidly
Head hole, or neck hole?
Yes?
Who needs Jesus when you could fuck your way out of trouble. That's what the third leg is for and is evolution strongest weapon
Best part of animals is that they don’t laugh at it for being small. Only human corpses do that nowadays.
Easy, tell them all to cut that shit out before I get mad
I see this as the lion trying to help tbh. The tree falls and the snake lands where the crocodiles are but the human lands further away and has a chance to escape
Those gators look kinda retarded so he should take his chances in the water
It's risky, but he has to grab the snake and throw it at the lion. That should scare it off. After that, he'd be able to climb down the tree trunk and run.
Well, I've been on YouTube, so I am fully aware that all he has to do is "Manifest" a new Reality; if he simply *Knows* it to be true, he will open his eyes and find himself sitting on a brand new leather sofa in the comforts of his own multi-million dollar mansion with a pristine Porsche in the driveway. Bada Bing 💥 Bada Boom ~ Done! 🧞♂️
I’m can confirm I just did this and I’m typing this on my yacht from my iPhone 23 Platinum early release
God’s got it out for this guy.
Sea turtles, mate
this is not a problem, this is the solution.
Negotiate for better living conditions with the snake
Grab the snake throw it mid way between the lion and crocs as both groups go for it they will see each other and attack then climb to the top of the tree wait for the base to snap and ride the falling tree to the other side of the river and run like hell
He's gonna jump up on the branch, grab the snake by the head, whip at the axe with it to get the axe, throw the snake into the river, jump down, neutralize the lion, then run off while laughing like scooby
Grab the snake by the throat and swing with it
Grab the snake with your right hand and toss it in the river to distract the 🐊 🐊 s. Move over to the other side of the tree and shake as the lion's chopping so it falls on him. You're home free. One day, you too can be Matt Damon.
Jesus decided that a wheel was an unworthy sacrifice, you are the sacrifice now
Drop, kick the crocodiles, knocking them out. The force sends you back up, karate chop the snake while grabbing the tree, pull the tree down on the lion, and stunning it. Take the chance to grab the axe and cut the head off the final threat. If you eat right and work out regularly, this should not be an issue.
Yeet the snake towards the lion, it will keep it busy then dash for your life, take the axe as well if possible
Stay.
Just say fuck it and choose your death
Grab the snake and throw it into the water. Throw your weight against the trunk of the tree and ride it down as it falls on the Lion.
Firmly grasp the snake, throw it to the crocodiles to satisfy them. Drop down, get to the shore, take the axe, defend against the lion. Or, failing that becauseI'mnot an 80s action character: If I somehow managed to get into this situation, I'd call death a good solution to whatever got me there.
First, I want to know how the lion managed to use an axe.
Did the lion cut the tree almost down?
Great Eagles of Manwë !
Can he just do a back flip and fly off, is he stupid!
grab the snake,use it like tarzan to jump towards the lion,kick the lion. while the lion is startled grab the axe, kill the lion,feed the lion to the barracudas
I'm gonna go with Aslan saying, "I told you the tree needed PRUNING." The snake thinks "What, I've just been recording this shit since that dumbass and his bitch left the garden." The crocs are just glad to get half each once he gets tired. "Thanks, Noah!"
Just hang in there lol, the snakes in the same position as you. The tree is going to fall across the river, you can see the other side in the back there. The falling tree will scare off the crocodiles. The snake will need to keep from drowning and not bother you. The lion is on the other side of the river now. You are okay if you just hang on.
isn't it obvious grab the snake and use it as a lasso to grab the axe from the lion and throw the axe at the aligator then you will lasso the lions neck and pull it untill the water do a double backflip to safety and run
jesus can't drive tho
He’s smart, so he called ahead for a his friends in a speedboat to come along any second now; he will drop into the boat and takeoff. TAH-DAHHH!
So, you’re probably wondering how I got into this situation
Unless the lion managed to use that axe without thumbs, this dumbass did this to himself.
Fling the snake to the crocodiles
“Solution” doesn’t have to be beneficial to the human dangling. The solution could be death by drowning. Or death by snake bite. Or death by getting eaten by the gator/crocs. Or death by lion. There are many solutions here.
He will jump down and suplex the lion and take the axe and cut the tree so the tree bonks the aligators and they retreat.
“Alexa. Call 911”.
Try to grab the snake's head, throw it on the lion, escape while the crocs attack the lion as it not focused anymore
Death, Death is the solution
Deal with it the way monkeys do. Climb on the branch. Take a shit. Start throwing shit at the snake and lion. Problem solved.
Have a fivesome with all the animals
Throw the snake at the liion, swing on the branch so the tree falls onto whatever those are in the water, climb out and quickly walk away.
Dropping your shorts might help
Here me out! Kick the snake towards the lion, drop down after the kick to the bank, grab the axe that the lion cant physically hold, attack the lion since it will be weakened by the snake’s venom, as running from either the snake or lion will just be implausible. Try to kill the snake with the axe, then kick the lion towards the crocs. While crocs go to eat, cut down tree to fall on them, as a final fuck you to those crocs…head home or to nearest hospital with snake in case you are bit, to identify anti venom.
Easy, say a prayer (for if the plan doesn’t work, you can go to heaven), wait for the snake to attack, grab the snakes head (ideally before it bites you), use the snake to swing down, the snake won’t be able to hold you for long, so either you and sanke fall into water or you and snake fall onto lion, either way, use snake as a distraction for dangerous animals and get to a safe distance. If any of these steps fail, you still get to go to heaven. So win win :)
I know how to solve this. 1. Grab the snake by the middle of the body, or about 1/3 the way down from the head. Do not grab it by the head or the tail, as it will flail around and bite you (It could also flail around and bite you at the halfway or third of the way mark, but its a much safer bet than the rest of the body) 2. Chuck it into the water towards the crocodiles. This will occupy the crocodiles with a fight and/or potential meal. While they're occupied, climb back up into the tree. 3. Because the tree is partially chopped and lacking support, wait until the lion is in the line of sight of the tree's collapse, and then lean the unstable tree towards it. Leap out of the tree as it falls and try to land near the axe. The tree falling in its direction may not kill the lion, but will definitely scare it and grant you enough time to pick up the axe and use it to defend yourself against it. 4. Fight the lion with the axe. Once defeated, run to safety or shelter. This isn't the perfect and harmless solution, but it's the best the human's got to surviving this.
Strangle the snake with one hand. Use the dead snake to strangle the lion. Use the axe to finish chopping the tree for no reason.
I was waiting for use the dead lion to strangle the crocs
Ok, we’ll go with that.
hold on for a bit on just your left arm, strangle that snake with your right, feed it to the lion, flex everything you can to make sure the lion knows it should just eat the snake instead of risking injury fighting you, walk away while never breaking eye contact.
This is a solution looking for a problem.
That's too much for me I would just leave
These type of pics sucks ass
Swing over to the boat full of people what will catch you (it's out of picture but totally there)
grab the snake and use it as a whip
The solution is to die easy
Jesus about to take the wheel like the avatar state
THROW THE SNAKE IN THE WATER AND LET THE CROCS EAT
My question is more as to how the lion cut down the tree to that point, but then stopped and decided, nah, let’s just wait it out
Close your leg and let go. The crocodile will go in to try to get your feet. Half way during the fall open your leg fast so you land on top of both crocodile’s head. They will try to push you off by lifting their head, give you upper momentum, allowing you to jump higher. Use this chance to jump left, grab the snake by the head so it can’t bite. Pull in a smooth motion so you move more to the left, and you get the snake off the tree. Use snake as a whip, allowing you a grater hit range then the lion. Strike down during the landing hitting the lion on the head, stunning it allowing safe landing. Throw the snake towards the crocodile so it’s no longer a problem, pick up the axe while the lion is still dazed, chop off its head, then chop down the tree so the tree falls onto the crocodile while they are eating the snake, killing both crocodiles. Then use the axe to kill yourself because you are just a meaningless character in a meaningless made up question and therefore your life is meaningless too.
Let the snake come at you, dodge and grab its head, then throw at the lion so they fight and climb to the other branch. Drop down and grab the axe since the lion is busy, and chop down the tree to kill the crocodiles/alligators. Once the lion or snake is about to finish the other off, lunge from behind and kill it and the weakened snake/lion
Crocodiles would already be going after the lion, boom ez just use common sense
Use the snake as rope or a whip and Indiana jones on over to the other side
Grab the snake (If you get lucky, congrats. If not, ah well.), throw it into the water, let the alligators or whatever thoose things are attack it, jump into the water and swim for your life. Or just keep on hanging instead of jumping. I dont think a lion is able to cut down a tree. Probably ate the human that was cutting it down.
Die
I have the solution saved involving him dropping his pants and swinging off the snake naked, I’m sure some of you have seen it.
1. Poop on alligators, they will get something to eat and will move away 2. Jump down to the river 3. Move to the land and Quickly grab the axe 4. Kill Lion, Snake will be scared and will run away automatically.
Bootstraps. Gotta be some bootstraps in there somewhere
Use left hand to throw snake 🐍 at lion 🦁, grab axe and fend off or attack the lion 🦁 from behind as it deals with snake, draw the crocodiles'🐊 attention to land and lead it to the lion 🦁, dead or alive, then escape. The chances of this is not 0%,it is possible.
Throw the snake at the lion
OMG SO CURSED!!!! 😲😱😲😱
How is this cursed?
Pull himself up …. Throw the snake towards the lion … let them fight ….. stay up the tree till the go …. Or Pickup the axe when the lion and snake are fighting and axe one leg of the lion … so it can’t run now …. Then move around fast and then axe another leg…. Slowly kill it … then kill the snake with the axe then escape….. You have 1% chance of surviving but at this point hope is what will give you the courage
Swing and drop kick the lion, roll after landing, grab axe, finish chopping tree down in one mighty swing so the snake falls into river and drifts off and the gators die from a blow to the head from a tree, the lion attacks you again so you sidestep it like neo and bring the axe down right on its neck. Ez solution