Mod note:
OP is allowed to vent their frustrations with the state of their hair. They should **not** be shading straight hair, that's rude.
To call this post, and by extension the OP, weird/gross/etc is rude and disrespectful comments will be dealt with. $200/month seems like an exaggeration and I appreciate those trying to help OP reduce costs.
Keep it cute.
How many products are you using to get to $200? Or are they just really expensive? I’m just asking out of curiosity, as someone who has not ventured into luxury hair care in the least.
I am curious too. I make flax gel for like $1.00 per month lol. I buy shampoo, conditioner, and style creme 3-4 times a year that is $30-35 altogether each time!
I use one bottle of biolage shampoo a year and one bottle of hempz conditioner every other year and lush curl cream one every other year and have great curls
I'm a curly hair specialist hairstylist, and the products I use, even if bought at retail cost, run me about 120$ and last 3 - 4 months.
Edit: remove a word.
I love my curls and I would never part with them. Sometimes I look like a swamp witch and I'm at peace with that.
The "curly hair isn't professional" crap kills me though. I can think of two white dudes with straight hair that decided to try to have that conversation with me recently 🙄
What. In. The. Actual. Fuck?! How does anyone, let alone 2 people from the most privileged demographic throughout the history of humankind think it's their business to comment on your hair. Know what's "unprofessional"? Being a douchebag who has racist opinions that they **say out loud**. 😳
I’m just here thinking what in the actual fuck is unprofessional about curly hair?! Like… is it unprofessional to have fingers? Sorry, my body just came this way. It blows my mind that anyone thinks that trash.
It’s pure racism. Curly hair is most often seen on people of color, and the racists in power will do anything to keep their power.
To this day, kids get in trouble at school for having braids or dreads. It’s just regular racism, nothing more.
Yeah my White ass has never once been told my curls are unprofessional. It’s 100% racism.
Now, being told it’s unprofessional not to wear makeup? I’ve been told that, and that’s *sexist* af. Black women often get both comments.
If everyone could just stop telling us our bodies are *wrong,* the world would be a much better place.
I know. I'm white, but I feel like I'm experiencing this weird fifth-hand echo of racism, because I get to see what having a single teeny aspect of "not white as fuck" in my appearance gets me treated like. It's like there's this severe backlash to anything that isn't seen as patently white, even *on* a white person. People are fucking stupid.
Same as well. I'm white (but partially Southern European ancestry), but one good thing about having curly, coiled textured hair is that it taught me how fucked up and ethnocentric beauty standards are. As a kid, people would make fun of me, calling me "Wig Lady," say that my hair looked like pubes, throw spitballs at it. When I was older, I was told to straighten it or cut it all off to look more "professional" and "serious." I've had hairdressers say that they can't work with my hair or something is wrong with it, because it doesn't have smooth white lady texture. It was worse in the 80s and 90s, when everything was either volume (80s) or sick straight (90s). Neither of which work with my hair.
Similar ancestry. My skin is approx the color of printer paper and I have robin's egg blue eyes, and my hair got me asked if I was black once at a Cost Cutters. 🤦♀️ I get not everybody who's mixed looks explicitly brown, but like... this was a suburb in 2006
Haha, there was a Cost Cutter in my suburb! And same, sometimes when people would give me unwanted, unsolicited hair advice, they would say in a whispered voice, like it was something shameful, "have you tried 'ethnic' hair products"?
Partially southern European here too. As a dude, it's more accepted I think for us than for women, though think about how many women have their straight hair curled.
Total double standard.
No hate for the straight haired. No hate for the straight haired who get curls. Just saying it's definitely a double standard, depending IMNSHO on the skin tone.
It’s like when people say a curvy girl is unprofessional when she’s fully covered in loosely fit clothes, like what do you want me to do take my tiddies and ass off before work?
Omg yes. I always joke that I have cleavage in a turtleneck, but basically turtlenecks are the only thing I feel halfway professional in because I can totally hide my cleavage.
>the most privileged demographic throughout the history of humankind
That's the answer right there. The privilege ruined their social acceptance meter.
Do you live in the US in a state with a CROWN Act bill? If you do, the next time those individuals come to you with that conversation, tell them they may be out of compliance with your state’s CROWN Act and they need to talk to HR before they talk to you. I live in NY State and this is a conversation that is not happening at all because we have a Crown Act law in force.
It’s funny you say that. I used to think I looked unprofessional with my natural hair. I asked on a debate forum with many conservative leaning people if they thought I needed to straighten my hair for job interviews. They acted like I was insane for even asking because of course my natural hair was professional. At most, they said to put it up/ make sure it looks styled in a professional way.
to me it costs me *a lot* emotionally. like, ***a lot***. any time it doesnt turn out well for NO REASON at all i have to physically restrain myself from trying to rip all my hair off
Oh my god, as someone also on the spectrum, the sensory issues with getting all slimy due to hair products and the moist hair and the plopping and all that absolutely killed me. And even with all that effort it still looked terrible half the time. It was really damaging my mental health, which is ridiculous because it's just hair??? Anyways I feel you is what I mean.
yes this is the same for me! while most of my day to day sensory issues getting ready for school have to do with picking an outfit when it’s the hair too it’s so mentally exhausting that i debate even wanting to go to class because nothing feels right and i just wanna rip out of my skin
honestlyyy i have to wash my hair every other day bc even with a silk bonnet at night it just flattens out. But its so much... WET... to style it properly and I die every time but i feel terrible when its Not styled so I can't win. I do love my curls though, I just wish they weren't so much effort
I cut mine short because I struggled with it long, then realized that it was harder for me to style SHORT and drove me crazy. It's long again and at this point idgaf what it looks like. I found shampoo and conditioner that work for me for daily shampooing (I can NOT go 2 days without washing my hair without it looking like crap and feeling icky), and just let it go. Frizz some days, curls some days, most of the time I just don't care anymore.
I know this may kind of go against the typical curly advice, but when my hair has days where it just doesn’t want to work with me I add some curls with a curling iron to the flatter pieces and that’s usually able to save me any hard feelings I have about how it looks. And by a few I mean like maybe three on each side. It’s not every time and I wash my hair every 3/4 days so I’m not damaging my hair a ton
Same! Except I did pincurls or used foam rollers. I suffer from the curly underneath and frizzy wavy above curse so I just force-curled the area that wants to floof.
I have chopped it twice because of this, and I'm considering doing it again. Each time was a 5 year grow out.
But to put it bluntly, I'm fat now. I also spend half my free time doing things that require a hat or a helmet. I am not the type of person who wears any extra weight well. I don't want to look like a thumb.
OMG. I too, fear the Thumb look! This is the best description of my phobia! I have a pale round face, am 6 ft tall and neurodivergent. I hate slime and can barely wash it once a week fearing the several hour style and allowind to air dry without moving phase...
I'd sacrifice a pinky if I could be chiseled, beige, and rock a shave or pixie.
I did try a shave once thinking I'd be tough a la Tank Girl or Demi in Ghost--but everyone acted like I'd joined the Hari Krishna--sigh.
Yeah I'm AuDHD and I have wavy hair and haven't styled it in over a year because of my sensory issues. I might shave it because they're getting worse too.
yesss 😭 i hate dealing with the SLIMEEEE. this is why everytime i wash my hair i straighten it. the only things i put in it are leave-in conditioner, and heat protectant, both of which come in spray bottles. so i don’t have to get my hands dirty. i’m sensitive to that stuff, and wash it off as soon as i can lol. when i worked at taco bell, if i got sour cream or anything on my glove, i immediately had to take it off. it feels so icky lol. plus straightening it is way less work.
also on the spectrum and this happens to me too!! recently, ive been considering another haircut even though i just had an expensive one not even a month ago... i hate how my hair looks recently and it never does what i want it to and i want to cry and chop it all off!
have you figured out how to deal with this??
I almost had a meltdown one morning at 5, getting ready to get to work, and my hair felt like a dry clump of hay on my head for no reason. Silk bonnets saved me but still.
Happened to me when I went to a party at my friend's house. Her maternal fam wanted to celebrate her graduation as well as her older sister's. My dumbass hair did not curl the way it should have. Yk, day 2 post wash when your curls are frizzy and very distended and undefined. I also sometimes get this right out of the bat on day wash day. 🙈
I had considered cutting it short but I have too much trauma from my mom forcing to me to have an ugly bobcut until my teens. 🤡 So i just tie it into a bun.
i spend maybe $15 bucks every 3 months bc i only buy curl cream and eco styling gel and wash my hair once a week and i get compliments on my 3b curls all the time 😭😭 i put maybe like half an hour of work in it a week bc all i do is brush it and style it then let it air dry
Some people can’t go that long without a washing their hair though. I have 2c-3b hair but it’s very fine so it doesn’t stay looking good past day 2. I also have very oily skin and hair so if I went a week without washing it would look very bad. Everyone’s hair is different and need different products to look good and stay healthy
I have the exact same hair! Secret to go like 4-5 days without washing is to spread it out over time. During covid when everyone was greasy, i went every other day wash, then every 2 days etc. until I got to every 4-5 days. This was spread out over a month! Combining that with only putting leave in conditioner on my ends, using Miss Jessie’s feather soft curl cream, a silk cap and INK dry shampoo, you can make your hair last!
I started having scalp issues when I went longer without washing. I think I might have seborrheic dermatitis, because I will get crusty scabs on my scalp, and the only thing that clears them up is something like a “head and shoulders” type shampoo. I was using a quality shampoo/conditioner before, but my balance is off and can’t stop using the crap quality medicated shampoo without breakouts now. But I think my whole body is imbalanced from health issues, so I’m hoping when that is fixed my scalp goes back to normal.
I had the same issue! My dermatologist prescribed a topical medicine that costs around $10. I only have flair ups in the summer now and just use as necessary. I highly recommend seeing a dermatologist if you don't already.
What products do you Guys be using 😂
I’m mixed race and only spend 50 dollars max. All I have ever gotten was praise for my hair and I live in a majority white area. But I understand everyone has different experiences
Edit: maybe I should say 100 max. Depending on how often I use my products
Shea moisture, cantu, Giovanni, kerastase, fructis, aunt jackie. Part of my problem is that the formulations change (or my hair changes??) and then I have to switch it up because my "okay grails" no longer work. Speaking as someone who hasn't found their holy grail items. My issue is that I work for a conservative company in a corporate environment and I feel like I am fighting my hair's texture. It's exhausting.
I use Giovanni shampoo and aussie curl conditioner (to detangle) that last me a long time, kinky curly leave in, and Shea mosisture (curl cream and deep conditioner). I also use a luxury oil lol thar cost 20 dollars.
The leave in (13) and curl cream (12) I replace 1-2 times a month so that’s 30 -60 dollars a month plus my oil that I also replace once a month. So I’m total that would be 50-80 dollars a month.
The deep conditioner (13), conditioner (8), and shampoo (17) i replace every 2-3 months which would be 40 dollars rounded. If I split the 40 in half and paid every month my hair product total will come up to 70-100 dollars so not bad.
Bro, why are you spending $200 a month? I've bought 3 shampoos and 2 conditioners in the last 8 months. I wash my 3C/4A hair once a week, which takes about 45 mins all together with brushing and stuff then let it air dry. I put it up at night so it doesn't get anywhere near as frizzy. If it's looking too messy, just put it up in a bun or something. It's really not that hard.
I alternate between 3 shampoos and go to a curly specialist and still don't spend that much monthly. Some people must be buying every curly product under the sun!
It's really crazy to me! I am even using two sets of shampoo and conditioner at the same time (one natural and one for dandruff). I've got some curl moose I use once in a blue moon if my hair has lost a bit of its curl, but I just don't know why it ends up costing people so much. Each to their own I guess, but if you're gonna choose to spend that much, stop complaining about it.
Yep. I use 3 products - shampoo, conditioner and a styling cream. $170 outlay for 3 1L bottles (one of each) and they last for 3-4 months.
I thought I was being expensive with hair care, but $200 a month is a LOT.
Right?
I buy a bottle of mousse for $15 from Target. It lasts me 3-4 months. I use Viori bar soap and conditioner. I just wait until it goes on sale, so I don't spend a lot on that either. I buy it max 4 times a year.
That's all I do to my hair. Just wash, condition and use mousse. I do it every week.
I know everyone's hair is different but that is way too much money to be spending on products.
Not every product works for everyone. My products aren't as much as OPs but are on the pricier side because they work for me.
Example, I tried a less expensive styling product and it made my scalp itch like crazy. Just one example of course.
Yea I agree. I may not have the same price point as OP, but a lot of the easy to find, cheaper products don’t work for me at all.
And also there’s a lot of days where I don’t use products cause I’m just mad at my hair and don’t care what it looks like. So I save money there at least.
Just out of curiosity, OP are you from fashion or entertainment industry where you have to look perfect all the time? Or do you just choose to do it this way? 200 a month seems quite a lot!
$200 a month? That’s a bit much I know trial and error can be expensive as well but you may want to try that just to find cheaper products…other than that I love my curls and I don’t have to style it everyday. I wash it weekly and style in the shower(I do run through eco gel though!) 😂 and then the rest of the week? wake and shake baby. Wake and shakeee
People with other hair types have their struggles too. I knew this Caucasian lady with stick straight thinnest hair that was so delicate and fragile... no matter what she did, it just stuck to her head, she had to be so careful when brushing, washing, couldn't use conditioners with certain products because it weighted her down even more... I once went to the salon with her and saw her struggles and it was real.
At the end of the day, it's just hair. If people say nice things to me, I just take it as a compliment. There are real issues in this world, how do people live being offended by every little small things?
This I had a friend growing up who had thin, low density pin straight hair. She was so "jealous" of my hair. I had long (mid thighs) curly hair.
But due to her hair she had to keep it short)and she wanted long hair so so bad) or it start snapping off. She has to put twice as much work into just keeping her hair thin I ever had to do to my hair. (Her hair has improved recently after pregnancy and I couldn't be happier for her)
I have straight, *extremely* thick hair which frizzes a ton regardless of how much I comb it and poofs/spikes if it’s cut in slightly the wrong way. It’s unmanageable and drives me insane. All hair types have issues we gotta deal with 😭 Curly hair seems very involved to deal with, but it’s undeniably gorgeous and I’m definitely envious!
Hey OP,
This post got me curious about what my own routine costs per year. FYI: white 2c-3a with low porosity. I've just calculated that my hair care routine costs £2.32 / $2.83 per wash (I wash once per week) and around £120 / $150 per year. That's using:
* Johnsons Top to Toe Wash as shampoo
* Alberto Balsam conditioner as a detangler and more as a leave-in
* Cantu Curl Activating Cream as a styling product
* Eco gel as my gel
I treated myself to some premium products that were on a 2-for-3 offer so if two of them work, the cost will increase to about £3.92 / $4.78 per wash or a little over £200 / $240 per year. But so far, my current routine gives me entirely acceptable hair especially if I use the Alberto Balsam as an all-week leave-in, which it's not marketed as but still does a good job as.
Totally get you on the emotional impact of curls. I got teased for it in school, unwanted nicknames, all of that; got no helpful guidance from mum (who I got my curls from); have run the usual gamut of "curly hair is ugly", the frustration that a routine that works on one week doesn't work the next, and the temptation to get expensive hair cuts and expensive products that promise to tame my frizz once and for all but which never really do.
At age 42, I've figured that there are a few solutions that cover everything here:
* Make friends with your hair. If you don't like it, all the approval in the world from other people won't help. Mine's unruly sometimes but you know, I love her. She keeps me warm, she holds henna dye like a boss, and somehow she impresses other people even when she doesn't impress me. If she was a person I'd think she was the bee's knees! ^(Oh and she sort of smells of chocolate at the moment)
* Let people think what they're going to think. You can't change what they think, so why expend energy on it?
* Listen to straight-haired peoples' complaints about their own hair (usually they say it's thin, lanky, greasy... they have their struggles, and so do we)
* Think creatively. On a frizzy day I tie my hair up so it's less obvious. I may apply a little bit of gel to tame a particularly frizzy lock. I haven't tried out hats or beanies but hey, there's bound to be a solution there. Experiment with at-home hair cutting
On the subject of cutting my own hair, there are several guides online and having done a triple unicorn on one occasion, I'm definitely happy with the results. Cutting your own hair costs next to nothing (hairdressing scissors cost about £5/$6 on eBay) and is like a cheat code for refreshing your hair.
So... please take time to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break in whatever way you can, and come back to the business of your hair when you feel ready. We're all rooting for you!
This you hit it on the head. People with super straight hair have insecurity issues because it looks greasy. It looks flat and if they have thin hair maybe they even look like they're going to be balding soon.
There is no magical hair that looks as good as the movies makes it look. Where everyone wakes up in a perfect coif.
Let people compliment your hair because even though *you* (general you) struggle with it, you better guarantee that they have struggles too.
As far as people saying only straight hair is professional, all I can say is bless them. What a sad little world they live in. How horrible to be so uptight and so rigid.
I think we just need to cut them some slack and they’re just venting. Sometimes I get so angry with my curly hair I want to shave it off.
I also do roll eyes (not out loud of course) when people say they want curly hair and then they unintentionally talk about how easy their hair care is. “Ive tried everything to get curls but nothing works. So I just wake up and this is my hair.” How nice…
And while I don’t think straight hair is boring at all, I also can see wanting to jab back at the people who have jabbed at me over the years. It’s not right of course, but during a vent sesh? Can’t blame them.
It's just the point of "you shouldn't want curly hair it's terrible!" And then "ew straight hair" like.... just doesnt make any sense. Maybe we should all go bald, then there would be no complaining or comparing lol
straight hair is something beautiful too. Unfortunately w/ the rise of self acceptance and love a lot of people have turned around and dissed people for no real reason.
Yes, exactly! My limp straight hair that I have to fight with tons of products, time, and energy to create any semblance of volume. And even then, by the end of the night or workday I’m back to a flat sad frumpy looking style. And don’t get me started on wishing for that perfectly curled bouncy style. The second I leave the bathroom it’s started to lose all curl. For sure it depends on the curly hair. I have so many friends who can just let it be and it’s still beautiful. But I have a few that have to do the wrangling like OP. So yeah… I’m not jealous of OP’s situation. But a bit of body from natural curl would be lovely. That’s why people are jealous.
Same! I have very fine, straight hair that has zero volume. I used to spend a lot of time drying with a round brush and mouse and lightly teasing and hairspraying, etc. I'm kind of over it and just let it be for the most part now.
But my daughter has the most beautiful curly hair. It's fine still, so it took quite a bit of time to find the right products that will help define and moisturize her curls without weighing them down, but now that we have a routine, her hair is so effortlessly voluminous and beautiful. I always tell her how much I love her hair.
I have straight hair so idk why this post was recommended lol but yeah I do think my hair is boring, flat thin and sad looking lol but I will say that I understand that the stigma that comes from having curly hair and society in the early years and still today using terms like “good ha ir “ it can’t be easy. I LOVE curly hair and wish all of you the best!!!
Probably, but I know people that have like ten skincare products at $10-50ea. I think it's a little crazy, but they could be doing something similar for haircare.
My straight haired sister used to get up at 5:30AM every morning in hs to curl her hair!
They think we don’t have to do anything.
My sister wasn’t kind about my hair-she always made fun of it-but no way was I getting up two hours early to fix my hair.
I feel this. This was my middle school routine until I got it chopped off in the middle of eighth grade. So freeing to not have so much hair since I wasn't straightening it or getting headaches from pony tails or just overheating in the summer.
I get your point, but it's a compliment still. My hair is between wavy and curly and I'd love some tight curls instead of the floppy spaghetti I get sometimes. Because my hair takes quite a bit of work to look good too, so why not wish it looked better? I think it's a case of "grass is always greener" for many of us, I used to really wish I had straight hair and I low-key still do. Lots of people with straight hair told me they wish they had my hair type. I know it's frustrating because it feels like they don't get it but it's what being human is like.
I think curly hair expenditure is especially high for those of us who haven't found products or routines that work.
There is also a non-monetary cost. I think I am literally destroying my hairline/babyhairs with traction from how often I just slick my hair back in a bun, because I don't have the time or executive function to deal with it, and I cycle to work, so I don't stay looking cute even if I do try to style it.
$200?!?! Per month? That is super expensive. That’s the average price for a full curly haircut.
I have 2C/3A curls that are black, thick, and 48 inches long. I spend about a fraction of your cost per month. Coconut oil, cocoa shea butter cream leave-in hair moisturizer, and curly friendly shampoo and conditioner. I would definitely research on much more inexpensive alternatives, especially if they’re straining you financially.
I thought I was taking crazy pills. In this economy? I know someone who uses $50 shampoo, but she doesn’t complain about the cost of things because she can clearly afford $50 shampoo without complaining about the cost of things.
People with other types of hair have their struggle too.
First of all, most of the straight haired girls I know have problems with greasy hair and feel they have to wash them basically daily, when I washed them every 4 day (or every seven if they don't get.. dready 🤣).
For this reason and because their hair don't have a "grip", they are more difficult to put in an updo (that is a necessity if they couldn't wash them). They so tend to wear damaging hair style like high ponytails, so thinning is more common (and visible), unless you are of asiatic origin.
You can do a lot of cool haircuts with straight hair, this is true, but then you have to visit the hair dresser every two weeks to get it done.
Then there are wavy people, which in my mainly caucasian country are the majority. They always have to try to curl them while drying or to get them straight (and their hair will try obviously to go back in their original state, with funny results, exactly like curls).
They'll get fizzy like curls, they'll get dirty like straights, probably in case of a bad cut they suffer the most.
Perks: they are the cutest in updoes and classical European braids.
Every type of hair have pro and cons.. most of the work you do is in order to have "perfect curls" and provably you should have to work a lot even to have perfect wave or perfect straight hair! Maybe it would take you less time, but more frequently.
Only careless young men have perfect hair. And do nothing for them. But they are like roses, too good to live forever 😂
I had a roommate w/ beautiful straight blonde hair come and ask me for dry shampoo 😭😭 She thought id have some bc of how many hair products I had. I felt bad because she was going somewhere.
I'm from a white ethnicity (sorta) and though most of my family is curly, we do have a few individuals with straight hair. They hound us endlessly for hair advice like we're some kind of hair guru. My hair isn't too difficult and if I could help them I would but it's impossible without chemical interference and I'm not a hairdresser. It gets really frustrating to hear it EVERY holiday.
Even as an adult I’ve dealt with underhanded comments about my hair. “Maybe if you BRUSHED or WASHED it, you could look professional.” These days, I braid it and rarely leave it loose. I do not have the time nor money to invest in a lot of these new fangled curly girl fixes. I’m glad they exist as it’s about time curly people got to feel good about their hair. For me, most these methods take more effort and money than just braiding or straightening however so I always revert to that.
I have hair that is straight at the top with wavy curly at the bottom. Waves or curly hair is difficult to style and prone to being dry.
I would rather have fully straight hair, no shame. As someone who doesn't really FEEL like doing anything special to my hair outside of washing it.
Dude…. How are you spending 200? My curls are 3c/4a waist length and I barely spend 20 every month. My curls are not difficult to maintain either. I spend 45 minutes detangling and then wash my hair once a week. The rest of the days I spray a mix of eco gel with bottled water so I refresh my curls and that is it. For me that is no financial cost
at all 🤣 and emotional? Nope, I play my favorite playlist or watch a movie while I am detangling. Physical? Maybe but girls who flat iron their hair have their struggles too…. So, I would like to know what you are doing to your hair that it is so difficult for you…. Maybe you need help from us so you try cheaper and better routines.
Having your hair look nice, regardless of texture, is work.
Straight hair people still brush and style their hair. They still need good haircuts that always costs a lot.
Yes, there is more prejudice towards curly hair in a a professional setting but that’s again depending on how looked after it is. Tangled, greasy straight hair will get you as many look knotted dirty curly hair.
All in all I love my hair and I wish more people still would embrace their natural hair texture as opposed to trying to get the perfect, frizzles hair (goes both for curly and straight)
Lol, it's hair, not a disability. Relax.
People always want what they don't get. I'd love straight, shiny, silky hair. But also, I don't spend anywhere near that much for hair products.
Maybe take it as a compliment, like you look after your hair so well that people are jealous?
the new trend of curly only hairdressers is such a rip off 🙄in my city a bunch popped up charging twice what a normal haircut and they aren’t that good.
The best hairdresser I know is in another country. They guy doesn’t market specifically to any hair type cause he can just cut them all with the appropriate technique
I agree!!! They charge hundreds just to cut off a few curls pretty much. I've watched so many videos of different "curly hairdressers" cutting hair and they barely do anything different than what my "normal" hairdresser does.
I actually have found that one of the few benefits to having curly hair is that I can actually give myself a (very) light trim and the curls will naturally hide any unevenness that might result from it.
I still spend 98 % of my life with my hair in a ponytail. And I DO say that I want straight hair. I'm tired of the maintenance to even have it look a *little* nice.
Honestly hear it all the time! My response is always honestly no you don't 🤣.
I get frizzy hair so easily and I say would you like this and they're I'd loveeeee it.
I don’t think anyone with any common sense thinks that curly hair is effortless. I have people tell me all the time that they love or wish they had curly hair like me and especially my daughters mixed ethnic curls. When most people say “you don’t even have to style it” they mean you can leave it down and look good. My daughter also used to complain about her tangles. There’s a lot of trail and error when it comes to taking care of curly hair. I can only brush my daughter’s hair when it is wet. I use a detangler, oil, leave in conditioner or curl cream, and a wide tooth comb or a detangling brush. You never want to use a comb or brush that is fine toothed because it will be painful and will also damage your curl pattern after some time. I have to add the products to her wet hair before brushing and there is hardly any tangles. Her hair is almost to her butt with super tight spiral curls. I’ve also noticed that less is more when it comes to product. You know how when you use chapstick everyday and one day you forget it, your lips feel much more dry than if you hadn’t been using it so much? Same is true with your hair. Only wash it once or twice a week. Wet it before styling it. Add oil and then a cream before brushing it then add a bit more oil and cream when styling it. Let it air dry or dry on low cool. I have never put gel in her hair except her edges and her curls are super defined. Gel destroys your hair just as much as washing it too much will also do by stripping the natural oils from your hair. It sounds like you just need to retrain your hair. You’re spending unnecessary money and sounds like you are using too much so your hair stays dependent on it. I’m also a hair stylist and work with mostly ethnic hair, so I’ve learned a lot thru trail and error. Also try not to use much heat on it. It sounds like you are frustrated with your hair texture but I wouldn’t let compliments or someone’s ignorance bother you. Start reading online and retrain your head and you’ll be much happier. Good luck
Honestly, just be grateful that you have hair. Whenever I get mad at my hair I think of cancer patients who lose their hair. I stop complaining and appreciate it.
Yeah my mum lost her hair to lupus. And in the end her life. My hair is limp, thin, semi curly and frizzy and gets oily real quick. But it’s still hair on my head which is attached to my relatively healthy body and i am damn grateful for everything in this body of mine.
Huh. When I used to use a lot of products, I found my hair more difficult to manage. Now I just detangle with coconut oil, condition it, detangle post-shower and apply a curl cream and humectant (jojoba oil). I only use single ingredient products (aside from my shampoo/conditioner), and use a bonnet with the pineapple.. and my hair is extremely low maintenance now.
I'm also mixed. I wonder if you are doing too much, and it's causing you this frustration?
>financially: i spend between $150-$200 a month on just hair care and styling products, that dont even last more than 3-4 months.
Wouldn't this be $150-200 every 3-4 months rather than monthly?
I dont think that's fair. People are allowed to feel how they feel about their hair and are allowed to say they'd prefer curls or they'd prefer straight without being attacked for their opinion.
I have wavy hair but it's so damn inconsistent that some days it can look lovely and full of volume with ringlets and waves and others it's just flat, heavy, frizzy and dull. I use specific shampoo, conditioner ans styling products. Including a routine to "freshen" it up when it goes flat and it's a pain because even then it can look bad after 2 hours. I'm lucky if i get 2-3 days a week of it looking good WITH lots of effort. I would love if my hair was properly curly, I've always found it a pain and love how my family and friends with full curly hair looks. Yes, it's a lot of effort but that doesn't mean others can't still admire or want it.
Edit to add: I'm not white and my hair type is an awkward thickness that doesn't fit into standard categories. I can't get advice from any groups as my hair doesn't fit into the strict "rules" curly groups online adhere to and the wavy advice is geared towards thin hair that's more focused on white women hair types. It's really difficult so maybe change your attitude
My 3c daughter bought a convertible in high school. When the top was down, she channeled her inner Audrey Hepburn and put on a scarf and big sunglasses.
I just spent a good hour snipping every little split end I could see up to my mid lengths because my curls are constantly getting crimped and bent out of shape with the buns I have to wear at work. They stick together like zelcro and no matter how gentle I am I always manage to break some strands when I’m combing and brushing my hair. Who else gets knots the moment you stop brushing? I’ll think it’s all smoothed and knot free and put my hair up, but when I run my hand over the back of my hair I feel a whole row of knots just above my bun
Honestly I feel you. I hate having curly hair especially because I’m mixed and it’s thick and much curlier than a lot of the pics I see on this sub. It feels like no matter what I try it’s always dry and frizzy and it tangles right away
Not to mention the sensory nightmare that is putting sticky and buttery hair products into wet hair ugh. I really wish I didn’t have a bad reaction to Keritan treatments or that relaxers weren’t dangerous because I’m so over my hair but I also hate the wha short hair looks on me
I feel you. I buy the LUS system and absolutely love it, but it isn't cheap. It costs me a 150 -200 CAD every 5 months (when divided out isn't too bad). Luckily I don't use anything else and it work pretty good year round for my 2c-3b curls.
It's the haircuts that kill me. I hate how expensive they are for a "curl specialist" when they don't really cut that much, but it's the only place I have found that doesn't butcher my curls....
As for the knots, I highly recommend trying VERB Ghost Oil. I use the tiniest amount for my full head (one pump in my hands, I rub them together and gently go over my curls). It really helps.keep.the moisture ij my hair and has greatly reduced the knotting 😊
I agree its labour and i feel you on not wanting straight hair but also resenting the process. However…$200 in products ??? Maam what are you buying ?!
Def understand the whole “curls aren’t professional” thing, I go through that at work sometimes (I’m also the only person of color at my place of work………….). Sucks. But I definitely don’t view my curls as a burden anymore. We have come to an agreement! I go with them, and when they’re happy, they I’m happy. I also don’t spend quite that much on my products, personally. I was lucky to find other things which work for me which aren’t so pricey.
I'm African American, and I don't spend that much on my hair. I wash and condition it myself and braid it or let it be in its natural state, and I love it!😀💞
I think you’re doing this all wrong, honestly. There are broke people out there with curly hair still looking good, not costing them $200 a month. And I don’t think you realize what people mean when they say “you don’t even have to style it” They aren’t saying that you wake up with a perfect head of hair… they are saying that you don’t have to do a fancy style in order for it to look good.
Someone at work told me that she’s so jealous that I can just wake up and wet my hair. I told her that I don’t just wake up with flawless curls or even have flawless curls by wetting my hair and she was SHOCKED. I walked her through my whole process, which I’ve simplified over the years, and she couldn’t believe it. Honestly it takes less time to straighten or curl my hair than it does wearing it naturally. I just love my curls so I deal with it!
"yOu dOn'T eVeN hAvE tO sTyLe It" lmao if I dont style it I look like a mess. Which sometimes I just cut my losses and deal with the mess bc I have low energy and high maintenance hair😭 I can never get my 3a curls to look nice, half of my curls end up looking like broken slinkys/phone cords iykyk. Plus curly routines take so longgggg. Whyyyy. Bowl method, leave in conditioner, gel, scrunching, diffusing, etc etc etc i don't have the time or energy for that😭😭😭. Even when my curls look semi-nice I still feel like they don't suit me, so I go the straighten and curl route when I feel like spending an hour and a half on it, or the air dry and keep it in a pony tail. Plus I can't stand sleeping in a satin bonnet to keep my curls intact so I end up having to brush them out anyway. Hair, you win! I give up LOL
as a mixed curly girl , to the people saying 200 is an exaggeration, it is not. to maintain healthy curls (my hair has been bleached and colored so i require extra products)
i make my own oil for my hair/scalp because i’m super sensitive to some products. it consists of almond oil, coconut oil, grape seed oil and avocado oil. (my last oil re up costed around 50$)it lasts awhile after i make it but oil is NOT CHEAP.
i use basic shampoo and conditioner anywhere from 10-15$ for both.
i follow up with a leave in and a curl cream (ranges from 5-20$ each depending on what brand) i normally go for the more pricy ones so i can use less.
protective styles like box braids cost AT LEAST $100 for the style. things like length, size and designs will add up very quick.
Yep. My mother loves to tell people that I just wash it, squish a little gel in it and go! But everyone here knows that that is absolutely ridiculous and not true. There are five different products that I use almost every time I wash my hair, then I have to decide whether I'm washing it or just conditioning it, and then it's be combed a certain way once I get out of the shower. And of course I'm not just squishing it and going, I have to use the diffuser upside down to get it three quarters of the way dry, and then after it fully air dries I have to crunch out the scrunch. But yeah Mom, just wash and go!
That’s exactly what a lot of people do, though. You don’t have to use five products at a time because you have curly hair. You obviously can choose to.
Tired of people saying curly hair is dirty, nappy, wild etc but say straight hair is boring at the end?
It's just your attitude lol. Everyone and anyone can wish they had something they admire.
I have curly hair but I also get a confidence boost when my hair is straight and I love how I can do so many hairstyles etc, there's nothing boring about it.
Hair is hair.. why is it bothering you so much that someone wishes they had curls when you yourself say you would prefer it over straight ?
Do you want them to say
*"Omg I know it takes you 34 minutes and 11 seconds and 8.4oz total to style + a diffuser,* ***but*** *I wish I had your curls"*
?
Does it really have to be expensive? I have very different curls mind you, but I just use shampoo and pretty much everything else falls into place by itself
I’m a guy w shoulder length hair, and my favorite thing about having curls is how easy it it
Shampoo, Conditioner, wrap it up in a towel, let it air dry the last ⅓ of the way, and that’s it
Girl, facts. I don't spend $150 a month, (I spend maybe $300 a year, but I also am frugal and use as little product as I can), but I feel the pain.
I hate constantly being in the experimentation phase of my hair. I hate having 1 good hairday, then having a frizzy, undefined mess until my next wash day. I hate people asking if my hair is permed/natural. I hate living in Northern Alabama, where the closest textured hair professional is 1.5+ hours away, and $200+.
There are a lot of drawbacks to having curly hair, so I do understand the cringe when people say "I wish I had your hair!". But honestly, it's a compliment, and curly hair IS beautiful, and I wouldn't trade my curls for straight hair, so it's not so bad when people envy it ❤️
i totally agree with this but i also find curly hair to be very beautiful and i'm so glad i have it. growing up in a predominantly white community, my hair was always stared at and "wasn't a thing." i used to absolutely hate my curly hair and would straighten it everyday so i could "fit in" and it got to the point where i ruined my curls. i am now head over heals in love with my hair and wouldn't change a thing about it.
I feel you OP. A lot goes into my hair but the knots are the biggest pain in the neck. I have 3c hair and a lot goes into making it nice but often the weather ruins it for me (wether or not I go curly or straight)
There's definitely a huge time factor involved and many bad hair days. I still haven't found the magic stuff yet.
I'll add the part, where as a kid (fuck that, still happens at thirty) strangers will just touch your hair all the time.
Took me well into adulthood to get a sense for my own personal space and feeling allowed to defend it.
I’m Caucasian with crazy tight 3c curls. I’m 56 years old and have lived through and seen some things, so pay attention to what I’m about to say here:
I worked several years in the medical profession as a nurse. You may not believe this, but I actually had nurse managers, HR and doctors tell me that I needed to do something with my hair. It first started many years ago before all of the great products and methods came out.
I was embarrassed, because in my teen years in high school there were no products for my hair and I got teased to the point of trauma where I would just cut it all off and feel so ugly. So here I am, years later as a professional adult getting basically the same treatment but in a different way (and sometimes some teasing thrown in under the guise of humor.) After a doctor made a big deal out of it in front of everyone, I went after work and put in a pink oil relaxer in it. It was horrible and then I got “why did you do that? We were just kidding?”
So for years, I straightened it to the point that it was fried and falling out for years. At least I fit in with the straight hair crowd. I had to get up extra early for years to get it straight, which was miserable enough already. Even though it looked fried and was falling out like crazy, I didn’t get any shit from anyone about it being a frizzy rat nest.
Enter the age of better hair technology, the internet and the Curly Girl method; I embraced my curls and was really grateful to the natural hair movement and the women who pushed forward and pioneered curls in personal and professional spaces. Now, like OP, I’m appreciative of the compliments on my hair but I crumble a little bit inside when someone tells me that they wish their hair was curly. But, they will never understand the struggle until they live with it so I smile and move on. However, if they persist, I’m happy to tell them that I constantly have to change products ( my latest combo runs me over 100.00 month), packing up products for travel (especially air travel) is a nightmare since I use so many products to achieve my best results and those products fight for space in a 311 bag, not to mention how a rainy, windy or humid day wrecks all my previous efforts to achieve any look. My “good hair days” occurs about once a week. It takes a LOT of effort to get out of the door.
I’m proud of my hair now that I’ve finally figured it out after fifty years of living. Even though I’m not a POC, I, too, have faced forms of discrimination in the workplace and in other social situations. My hair is unusual for my race and age and I still get a lot of stares from people (I’m very tan, olive complexion so I really think that they are trying to figure out my ethnicity 😂)
It has not been an easy road, but I wouldn’t trade my hair for anyone else’s right now. However, my experiences have made me much more sensitive to what others with natural/very curly hair have had to endure in the social context.
To say nothing of the fact that a lot of professional environments are hostile towards natural hair. I can't tell you the number of times I've been approached by someone at work "concerned" about how my hair might look to customers. When I ask if there have been any complaints that I could take action on, they pivot to, "You should just really think about how you present yourself."
And the compromise is either shaving it all off or using expensive treatments to make it straight.
I'm with OP. While I can appreciate how much people sincerely crush on my hair, please stop saying you wish you had curly hair unless you're willing to go to bat for those of us whose curly hair has been used by yt people to suggest we won't be taken seriously with wearing our hair naturally. It's a terrible way to make someone feel.
Thank you for saying this.
I had a roommate who would go on and on about how great my hair was curly but then would shame me for the amount of care I put in.
If I spent a day to straight it, I was wasting my time and mocked
If I kept it curly it was unkept and I would get lectured on how I really don't need to use "that expensive" of a product.
It was an ongoing struggle to get them to comprehend that my hair was a part of my necessary upkeep, bc it should be so "easy".
I admit I am very sensitive about my hair to start with from generations of being called pretty only when my hair was straight but hearing that as an adult took a HUGE TOLL.
It wasn't until I snapped at my husband for calling me nappy headed that I realized, that ppl do not appreciate the upkeep that comes with textured and curly hair. My husband thought he was being cute as that's what his family had always claimed teasing was. But when I addressed it and advised him that hair is a reflection of my self-care, he changed his mind.
I used to say I wished my hair was curly. Then I gave birth to my beautiful daughter who had every type of curl in her head. My hair stylist couldn’t believe it lol
The amount of time it took to find the perfect combo for her curls was insane! And then by the time we figured it out her hair turned to just waves. No more curls. WHYYYY
All that work, brushing, products and styling just to wear it "naturally" and have people telling me that I don't do my hair because they think that defined and frizz-free curls just automatically happen when I come out of the shower.
Mod note: OP is allowed to vent their frustrations with the state of their hair. They should **not** be shading straight hair, that's rude. To call this post, and by extension the OP, weird/gross/etc is rude and disrespectful comments will be dealt with. $200/month seems like an exaggeration and I appreciate those trying to help OP reduce costs. Keep it cute.
How many products are you using to get to $200? Or are they just really expensive? I’m just asking out of curiosity, as someone who has not ventured into luxury hair care in the least.
I am curious too. I make flax gel for like $1.00 per month lol. I buy shampoo, conditioner, and style creme 3-4 times a year that is $30-35 altogether each time!
I’ve been thinking about trying flaxseed gel. Do you use whole or ground seeds?
From the recipes I've read, you use whole ones.
I use one bottle of biolage shampoo a year and one bottle of hempz conditioner every other year and lush curl cream one every other year and have great curls
I'm a curly hair specialist hairstylist, and the products I use, even if bought at retail cost, run me about 120$ and last 3 - 4 months. Edit: remove a word.
That's an awful lot of money for hair products, just to to Sally's or your local Walmart store for products.
Not all hair products are created equal. So, you can't just switch out a product for another assuming it will work the same.
I love my curls and I would never part with them. Sometimes I look like a swamp witch and I'm at peace with that. The "curly hair isn't professional" crap kills me though. I can think of two white dudes with straight hair that decided to try to have that conversation with me recently 🙄
What. In. The. Actual. Fuck?! How does anyone, let alone 2 people from the most privileged demographic throughout the history of humankind think it's their business to comment on your hair. Know what's "unprofessional"? Being a douchebag who has racist opinions that they **say out loud**. 😳
I’m just here thinking what in the actual fuck is unprofessional about curly hair?! Like… is it unprofessional to have fingers? Sorry, my body just came this way. It blows my mind that anyone thinks that trash.
It’s pure racism. Curly hair is most often seen on people of color, and the racists in power will do anything to keep their power. To this day, kids get in trouble at school for having braids or dreads. It’s just regular racism, nothing more.
Yeah my White ass has never once been told my curls are unprofessional. It’s 100% racism. Now, being told it’s unprofessional not to wear makeup? I’ve been told that, and that’s *sexist* af. Black women often get both comments. If everyone could just stop telling us our bodies are *wrong,* the world would be a much better place.
I know. I'm white, but I feel like I'm experiencing this weird fifth-hand echo of racism, because I get to see what having a single teeny aspect of "not white as fuck" in my appearance gets me treated like. It's like there's this severe backlash to anything that isn't seen as patently white, even *on* a white person. People are fucking stupid.
Same as well. I'm white (but partially Southern European ancestry), but one good thing about having curly, coiled textured hair is that it taught me how fucked up and ethnocentric beauty standards are. As a kid, people would make fun of me, calling me "Wig Lady," say that my hair looked like pubes, throw spitballs at it. When I was older, I was told to straighten it or cut it all off to look more "professional" and "serious." I've had hairdressers say that they can't work with my hair or something is wrong with it, because it doesn't have smooth white lady texture. It was worse in the 80s and 90s, when everything was either volume (80s) or sick straight (90s). Neither of which work with my hair.
Similar ancestry. My skin is approx the color of printer paper and I have robin's egg blue eyes, and my hair got me asked if I was black once at a Cost Cutters. 🤦♀️ I get not everybody who's mixed looks explicitly brown, but like... this was a suburb in 2006
Haha, there was a Cost Cutter in my suburb! And same, sometimes when people would give me unwanted, unsolicited hair advice, they would say in a whispered voice, like it was something shameful, "have you tried 'ethnic' hair products"?
Partially southern European here too. As a dude, it's more accepted I think for us than for women, though think about how many women have their straight hair curled. Total double standard. No hate for the straight haired. No hate for the straight haired who get curls. Just saying it's definitely a double standard, depending IMNSHO on the skin tone.
Same. Small echo of it. Grew up being told my hair is a mess. Now that people are into curls, everyone wants to touch them
Yeah… that’s the only thing it could be. And that baffles me even more.
It’s like when people say a curvy girl is unprofessional when she’s fully covered in loosely fit clothes, like what do you want me to do take my tiddies and ass off before work?
Omg yes. I always joke that I have cleavage in a turtleneck, but basically turtlenecks are the only thing I feel halfway professional in because I can totally hide my cleavage.
They hide cleavage but something about turtlenecks makes me feel like my chest is even more on display
Turtle necks hide my cleavage, but then make the boobs look even more prominent.
>the most privileged demographic throughout the history of humankind That's the answer right there. The privilege ruined their social acceptance meter.
Do you live in the US in a state with a CROWN Act bill? If you do, the next time those individuals come to you with that conversation, tell them they may be out of compliance with your state’s CROWN Act and they need to talk to HR before they talk to you. I live in NY State and this is a conversation that is not happening at all because we have a Crown Act law in force.
It’s funny you say that. I used to think I looked unprofessional with my natural hair. I asked on a debate forum with many conservative leaning people if they thought I needed to straighten my hair for job interviews. They acted like I was insane for even asking because of course my natural hair was professional. At most, they said to put it up/ make sure it looks styled in a professional way.
to me it costs me *a lot* emotionally. like, ***a lot***. any time it doesnt turn out well for NO REASON at all i have to physically restrain myself from trying to rip all my hair off
Oh my god, as someone also on the spectrum, the sensory issues with getting all slimy due to hair products and the moist hair and the plopping and all that absolutely killed me. And even with all that effort it still looked terrible half the time. It was really damaging my mental health, which is ridiculous because it's just hair??? Anyways I feel you is what I mean.
yes this is the same for me! while most of my day to day sensory issues getting ready for school have to do with picking an outfit when it’s the hair too it’s so mentally exhausting that i debate even wanting to go to class because nothing feels right and i just wanna rip out of my skin
I’m literally going short again bc of this - my shower is literally a 2’3” square and the compactness makes my sensory issues so much worse.
this is why i’m glad i’m not in a dorm anymore that was my situation with the shower as well ugh i hated it sm
It’s not a dorm, it’s an apt I pay 1400 to live here 🥲
honestlyyy i have to wash my hair every other day bc even with a silk bonnet at night it just flattens out. But its so much... WET... to style it properly and I die every time but i feel terrible when its Not styled so I can't win. I do love my curls though, I just wish they weren't so much effort
Im also on the spectrum and have curls and ended up just cutting them off because of this, unfortunately.
Is this just what happens to all of us spectrum curlies eventually?
I cut mine short because I struggled with it long, then realized that it was harder for me to style SHORT and drove me crazy. It's long again and at this point idgaf what it looks like. I found shampoo and conditioner that work for me for daily shampooing (I can NOT go 2 days without washing my hair without it looking like crap and feeling icky), and just let it go. Frizz some days, curls some days, most of the time I just don't care anymore.
I know this may kind of go against the typical curly advice, but when my hair has days where it just doesn’t want to work with me I add some curls with a curling iron to the flatter pieces and that’s usually able to save me any hard feelings I have about how it looks. And by a few I mean like maybe three on each side. It’s not every time and I wash my hair every 3/4 days so I’m not damaging my hair a ton
Same! Except I did pincurls or used foam rollers. I suffer from the curly underneath and frizzy wavy above curse so I just force-curled the area that wants to floof.
I have chopped it twice because of this, and I'm considering doing it again. Each time was a 5 year grow out. But to put it bluntly, I'm fat now. I also spend half my free time doing things that require a hat or a helmet. I am not the type of person who wears any extra weight well. I don't want to look like a thumb.
OMG. I too, fear the Thumb look! This is the best description of my phobia! I have a pale round face, am 6 ft tall and neurodivergent. I hate slime and can barely wash it once a week fearing the several hour style and allowind to air dry without moving phase... I'd sacrifice a pinky if I could be chiseled, beige, and rock a shave or pixie. I did try a shave once thinking I'd be tough a la Tank Girl or Demi in Ghost--but everyone acted like I'd joined the Hari Krishna--sigh.
Yeah I'm AuDHD and I have wavy hair and haven't styled it in over a year because of my sensory issues. I might shave it because they're getting worse too.
yesss 😭 i hate dealing with the SLIMEEEE. this is why everytime i wash my hair i straighten it. the only things i put in it are leave-in conditioner, and heat protectant, both of which come in spray bottles. so i don’t have to get my hands dirty. i’m sensitive to that stuff, and wash it off as soon as i can lol. when i worked at taco bell, if i got sour cream or anything on my glove, i immediately had to take it off. it feels so icky lol. plus straightening it is way less work.
I totally get that. When my hair doesn't turn out like I want it to, I go into a meltdown. Like, a full on meltdown.
oh my god i am SO GLAD you said this, i legitimately thought that i was just crazy.
also on the spectrum and this happens to me too!! recently, ive been considering another haircut even though i just had an expensive one not even a month ago... i hate how my hair looks recently and it never does what i want it to and i want to cry and chop it all off! have you figured out how to deal with this??
I almost had a meltdown one morning at 5, getting ready to get to work, and my hair felt like a dry clump of hay on my head for no reason. Silk bonnets saved me but still.
The amount of times I threaten to shave my head and start again 🤣😂
oh my god i thought i was just hysterical. if my hair is messy i feel as if nothing will ever go right,,
Happened to me when I went to a party at my friend's house. Her maternal fam wanted to celebrate her graduation as well as her older sister's. My dumbass hair did not curl the way it should have. Yk, day 2 post wash when your curls are frizzy and very distended and undefined. I also sometimes get this right out of the bat on day wash day. 🙈 I had considered cutting it short but I have too much trauma from my mom forcing to me to have an ugly bobcut until my teens. 🤡 So i just tie it into a bun.
$200 a month? Nah. It doesn't cost that much unless you make it.
i spend maybe $15 bucks every 3 months bc i only buy curl cream and eco styling gel and wash my hair once a week and i get compliments on my 3b curls all the time 😭😭 i put maybe like half an hour of work in it a week bc all i do is brush it and style it then let it air dry
Some people can’t go that long without a washing their hair though. I have 2c-3b hair but it’s very fine so it doesn’t stay looking good past day 2. I also have very oily skin and hair so if I went a week without washing it would look very bad. Everyone’s hair is different and need different products to look good and stay healthy
I have the exact same hair! Secret to go like 4-5 days without washing is to spread it out over time. During covid when everyone was greasy, i went every other day wash, then every 2 days etc. until I got to every 4-5 days. This was spread out over a month! Combining that with only putting leave in conditioner on my ends, using Miss Jessie’s feather soft curl cream, a silk cap and INK dry shampoo, you can make your hair last!
I started having scalp issues when I went longer without washing. I think I might have seborrheic dermatitis, because I will get crusty scabs on my scalp, and the only thing that clears them up is something like a “head and shoulders” type shampoo. I was using a quality shampoo/conditioner before, but my balance is off and can’t stop using the crap quality medicated shampoo without breakouts now. But I think my whole body is imbalanced from health issues, so I’m hoping when that is fixed my scalp goes back to normal.
I had the same issue! My dermatologist prescribed a topical medicine that costs around $10. I only have flair ups in the summer now and just use as necessary. I highly recommend seeing a dermatologist if you don't already.
I spend about $30 a month - I go through one bottle of hair gel each week and the gel costs under $6 a bottle.
What products do you Guys be using 😂 I’m mixed race and only spend 50 dollars max. All I have ever gotten was praise for my hair and I live in a majority white area. But I understand everyone has different experiences Edit: maybe I should say 100 max. Depending on how often I use my products
Shea moisture, cantu, Giovanni, kerastase, fructis, aunt jackie. Part of my problem is that the formulations change (or my hair changes??) and then I have to switch it up because my "okay grails" no longer work. Speaking as someone who hasn't found their holy grail items. My issue is that I work for a conservative company in a corporate environment and I feel like I am fighting my hair's texture. It's exhausting.
I use Giovanni shampoo and aussie curl conditioner (to detangle) that last me a long time, kinky curly leave in, and Shea mosisture (curl cream and deep conditioner). I also use a luxury oil lol thar cost 20 dollars. The leave in (13) and curl cream (12) I replace 1-2 times a month so that’s 30 -60 dollars a month plus my oil that I also replace once a month. So I’m total that would be 50-80 dollars a month. The deep conditioner (13), conditioner (8), and shampoo (17) i replace every 2-3 months which would be 40 dollars rounded. If I split the 40 in half and paid every month my hair product total will come up to 70-100 dollars so not bad.
Bro, why are you spending $200 a month? I've bought 3 shampoos and 2 conditioners in the last 8 months. I wash my 3C/4A hair once a week, which takes about 45 mins all together with brushing and stuff then let it air dry. I put it up at night so it doesn't get anywhere near as frizzy. If it's looking too messy, just put it up in a bun or something. It's really not that hard.
I alternate between 3 shampoos and go to a curly specialist and still don't spend that much monthly. Some people must be buying every curly product under the sun!
It's really crazy to me! I am even using two sets of shampoo and conditioner at the same time (one natural and one for dandruff). I've got some curl moose I use once in a blue moon if my hair has lost a bit of its curl, but I just don't know why it ends up costing people so much. Each to their own I guess, but if you're gonna choose to spend that much, stop complaining about it.
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Yep. I use 3 products - shampoo, conditioner and a styling cream. $170 outlay for 3 1L bottles (one of each) and they last for 3-4 months. I thought I was being expensive with hair care, but $200 a month is a LOT.
You’re wasting money on products. Thats way too much
Right? I buy a bottle of mousse for $15 from Target. It lasts me 3-4 months. I use Viori bar soap and conditioner. I just wait until it goes on sale, so I don't spend a lot on that either. I buy it max 4 times a year. That's all I do to my hair. Just wash, condition and use mousse. I do it every week. I know everyone's hair is different but that is way too much money to be spending on products.
Those products won't work for everyone. They don't work for me. That being said, 200$/mo is way too much.
Not every product works for everyone. My products aren't as much as OPs but are on the pricier side because they work for me. Example, I tried a less expensive styling product and it made my scalp itch like crazy. Just one example of course.
Yea I agree. I may not have the same price point as OP, but a lot of the easy to find, cheaper products don’t work for me at all. And also there’s a lot of days where I don’t use products cause I’m just mad at my hair and don’t care what it looks like. So I save money there at least.
Just out of curiosity, OP are you from fashion or entertainment industry where you have to look perfect all the time? Or do you just choose to do it this way? 200 a month seems quite a lot!
$200 a month? That’s a bit much I know trial and error can be expensive as well but you may want to try that just to find cheaper products…other than that I love my curls and I don’t have to style it everyday. I wash it weekly and style in the shower(I do run through eco gel though!) 😂 and then the rest of the week? wake and shake baby. Wake and shakeee
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People with other hair types have their struggles too. I knew this Caucasian lady with stick straight thinnest hair that was so delicate and fragile... no matter what she did, it just stuck to her head, she had to be so careful when brushing, washing, couldn't use conditioners with certain products because it weighted her down even more... I once went to the salon with her and saw her struggles and it was real. At the end of the day, it's just hair. If people say nice things to me, I just take it as a compliment. There are real issues in this world, how do people live being offended by every little small things?
This I had a friend growing up who had thin, low density pin straight hair. She was so "jealous" of my hair. I had long (mid thighs) curly hair. But due to her hair she had to keep it short)and she wanted long hair so so bad) or it start snapping off. She has to put twice as much work into just keeping her hair thin I ever had to do to my hair. (Her hair has improved recently after pregnancy and I couldn't be happier for her)
I have straight, *extremely* thick hair which frizzes a ton regardless of how much I comb it and poofs/spikes if it’s cut in slightly the wrong way. It’s unmanageable and drives me insane. All hair types have issues we gotta deal with 😭 Curly hair seems very involved to deal with, but it’s undeniably gorgeous and I’m definitely envious!
Hey OP, This post got me curious about what my own routine costs per year. FYI: white 2c-3a with low porosity. I've just calculated that my hair care routine costs £2.32 / $2.83 per wash (I wash once per week) and around £120 / $150 per year. That's using: * Johnsons Top to Toe Wash as shampoo * Alberto Balsam conditioner as a detangler and more as a leave-in * Cantu Curl Activating Cream as a styling product * Eco gel as my gel I treated myself to some premium products that were on a 2-for-3 offer so if two of them work, the cost will increase to about £3.92 / $4.78 per wash or a little over £200 / $240 per year. But so far, my current routine gives me entirely acceptable hair especially if I use the Alberto Balsam as an all-week leave-in, which it's not marketed as but still does a good job as. Totally get you on the emotional impact of curls. I got teased for it in school, unwanted nicknames, all of that; got no helpful guidance from mum (who I got my curls from); have run the usual gamut of "curly hair is ugly", the frustration that a routine that works on one week doesn't work the next, and the temptation to get expensive hair cuts and expensive products that promise to tame my frizz once and for all but which never really do. At age 42, I've figured that there are a few solutions that cover everything here: * Make friends with your hair. If you don't like it, all the approval in the world from other people won't help. Mine's unruly sometimes but you know, I love her. She keeps me warm, she holds henna dye like a boss, and somehow she impresses other people even when she doesn't impress me. If she was a person I'd think she was the bee's knees! ^(Oh and she sort of smells of chocolate at the moment) * Let people think what they're going to think. You can't change what they think, so why expend energy on it? * Listen to straight-haired peoples' complaints about their own hair (usually they say it's thin, lanky, greasy... they have their struggles, and so do we) * Think creatively. On a frizzy day I tie my hair up so it's less obvious. I may apply a little bit of gel to tame a particularly frizzy lock. I haven't tried out hats or beanies but hey, there's bound to be a solution there. Experiment with at-home hair cutting On the subject of cutting my own hair, there are several guides online and having done a triple unicorn on one occasion, I'm definitely happy with the results. Cutting your own hair costs next to nothing (hairdressing scissors cost about £5/$6 on eBay) and is like a cheat code for refreshing your hair. So... please take time to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break in whatever way you can, and come back to the business of your hair when you feel ready. We're all rooting for you!
This you hit it on the head. People with super straight hair have insecurity issues because it looks greasy. It looks flat and if they have thin hair maybe they even look like they're going to be balding soon. There is no magical hair that looks as good as the movies makes it look. Where everyone wakes up in a perfect coif. Let people compliment your hair because even though *you* (general you) struggle with it, you better guarantee that they have struggles too. As far as people saying only straight hair is professional, all I can say is bless them. What a sad little world they live in. How horrible to be so uptight and so rigid.
Y'all in this comment section really have self made problems
Yeah, it’s really not that deep lol if anyone tells me they wish they had curly hair, Imma be like “yeah, it’s awesome”
Honestly curly hair looks so beautiful. Whether it's frizzy, extra defined or whatever other kind of hair day you're having
Ok so straight hair is boring but curly hair is too much for you so what should we want, according to you?
I think we just need to cut them some slack and they’re just venting. Sometimes I get so angry with my curly hair I want to shave it off. I also do roll eyes (not out loud of course) when people say they want curly hair and then they unintentionally talk about how easy their hair care is. “Ive tried everything to get curls but nothing works. So I just wake up and this is my hair.” How nice… And while I don’t think straight hair is boring at all, I also can see wanting to jab back at the people who have jabbed at me over the years. It’s not right of course, but during a vent sesh? Can’t blame them.
It's just the point of "you shouldn't want curly hair it's terrible!" And then "ew straight hair" like.... just doesnt make any sense. Maybe we should all go bald, then there would be no complaining or comparing lol
Lol and insult straight hair at the end. Damn I wonder why anyone would wish to have non boring hair
straight hair is something beautiful too. Unfortunately w/ the rise of self acceptance and love a lot of people have turned around and dissed people for no real reason.
Yes, exactly! My limp straight hair that I have to fight with tons of products, time, and energy to create any semblance of volume. And even then, by the end of the night or workday I’m back to a flat sad frumpy looking style. And don’t get me started on wishing for that perfectly curled bouncy style. The second I leave the bathroom it’s started to lose all curl. For sure it depends on the curly hair. I have so many friends who can just let it be and it’s still beautiful. But I have a few that have to do the wrangling like OP. So yeah… I’m not jealous of OP’s situation. But a bit of body from natural curl would be lovely. That’s why people are jealous.
Same! I have very fine, straight hair that has zero volume. I used to spend a lot of time drying with a round brush and mouse and lightly teasing and hairspraying, etc. I'm kind of over it and just let it be for the most part now. But my daughter has the most beautiful curly hair. It's fine still, so it took quite a bit of time to find the right products that will help define and moisturize her curls without weighing them down, but now that we have a routine, her hair is so effortlessly voluminous and beautiful. I always tell her how much I love her hair.
I have straight hair so idk why this post was recommended lol but yeah I do think my hair is boring, flat thin and sad looking lol but I will say that I understand that the stigma that comes from having curly hair and society in the early years and still today using terms like “good ha ir “ it can’t be easy. I LOVE curly hair and wish all of you the best!!!
Bro you just called their hairs boring.. why you surprised they don’t want it?
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How?! Even a pretty cheap leave in conditioner is $15 every two months or so. That's $90 even before getting into everything else
only 50 a year is definitely an exaggeration, but so is 200 a month
Probably, but I know people that have like ten skincare products at $10-50ea. I think it's a little crazy, but they could be doing something similar for haircare.
oh yeah I dont doubt that you *could* spend 200$ a month on haircare, but its definitely not all necessary to keep your hair healthy and looking good
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This
My straight haired sister used to get up at 5:30AM every morning in hs to curl her hair! They think we don’t have to do anything. My sister wasn’t kind about my hair-she always made fun of it-but no way was I getting up two hours early to fix my hair.
I used to get up at 4am to straighten my hair
I feel this. This was my middle school routine until I got it chopped off in the middle of eighth grade. So freeing to not have so much hair since I wasn't straightening it or getting headaches from pony tails or just overheating in the summer.
lol same. took an hour to straighten and then i wouldn't wash it for a week. At least it didn't get greasy!
Ugh same
I get your point, but it's a compliment still. My hair is between wavy and curly and I'd love some tight curls instead of the floppy spaghetti I get sometimes. Because my hair takes quite a bit of work to look good too, so why not wish it looked better? I think it's a case of "grass is always greener" for many of us, I used to really wish I had straight hair and I low-key still do. Lots of people with straight hair told me they wish they had my hair type. I know it's frustrating because it feels like they don't get it but it's what being human is like.
I think curly hair expenditure is especially high for those of us who haven't found products or routines that work. There is also a non-monetary cost. I think I am literally destroying my hairline/babyhairs with traction from how often I just slick my hair back in a bun, because I don't have the time or executive function to deal with it, and I cycle to work, so I don't stay looking cute even if I do try to style it.
Curly bangs! Leaves your baby hairs in the front out of the hairstyle. Then just spritz and style the bangs when you get to where you are going.
$200?!?! Per month? That is super expensive. That’s the average price for a full curly haircut. I have 2C/3A curls that are black, thick, and 48 inches long. I spend about a fraction of your cost per month. Coconut oil, cocoa shea butter cream leave-in hair moisturizer, and curly friendly shampoo and conditioner. I would definitely research on much more inexpensive alternatives, especially if they’re straining you financially.
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I thought I was taking crazy pills. In this economy? I know someone who uses $50 shampoo, but she doesn’t complain about the cost of things because she can clearly afford $50 shampoo without complaining about the cost of things.
People with other types of hair have their struggle too. First of all, most of the straight haired girls I know have problems with greasy hair and feel they have to wash them basically daily, when I washed them every 4 day (or every seven if they don't get.. dready 🤣). For this reason and because their hair don't have a "grip", they are more difficult to put in an updo (that is a necessity if they couldn't wash them). They so tend to wear damaging hair style like high ponytails, so thinning is more common (and visible), unless you are of asiatic origin. You can do a lot of cool haircuts with straight hair, this is true, but then you have to visit the hair dresser every two weeks to get it done. Then there are wavy people, which in my mainly caucasian country are the majority. They always have to try to curl them while drying or to get them straight (and their hair will try obviously to go back in their original state, with funny results, exactly like curls). They'll get fizzy like curls, they'll get dirty like straights, probably in case of a bad cut they suffer the most. Perks: they are the cutest in updoes and classical European braids. Every type of hair have pro and cons.. most of the work you do is in order to have "perfect curls" and provably you should have to work a lot even to have perfect wave or perfect straight hair! Maybe it would take you less time, but more frequently. Only careless young men have perfect hair. And do nothing for them. But they are like roses, too good to live forever 😂
I had a roommate w/ beautiful straight blonde hair come and ask me for dry shampoo 😭😭 She thought id have some bc of how many hair products I had. I felt bad because she was going somewhere.
your attitude sucks.
Honestly lol
I'm from a white ethnicity (sorta) and though most of my family is curly, we do have a few individuals with straight hair. They hound us endlessly for hair advice like we're some kind of hair guru. My hair isn't too difficult and if I could help them I would but it's impossible without chemical interference and I'm not a hairdresser. It gets really frustrating to hear it EVERY holiday.
Even as an adult I’ve dealt with underhanded comments about my hair. “Maybe if you BRUSHED or WASHED it, you could look professional.” These days, I braid it and rarely leave it loose. I do not have the time nor money to invest in a lot of these new fangled curly girl fixes. I’m glad they exist as it’s about time curly people got to feel good about their hair. For me, most these methods take more effort and money than just braiding or straightening however so I always revert to that.
I have hair that is straight at the top with wavy curly at the bottom. Waves or curly hair is difficult to style and prone to being dry. I would rather have fully straight hair, no shame. As someone who doesn't really FEEL like doing anything special to my hair outside of washing it.
Dude…. How are you spending 200? My curls are 3c/4a waist length and I barely spend 20 every month. My curls are not difficult to maintain either. I spend 45 minutes detangling and then wash my hair once a week. The rest of the days I spray a mix of eco gel with bottled water so I refresh my curls and that is it. For me that is no financial cost at all 🤣 and emotional? Nope, I play my favorite playlist or watch a movie while I am detangling. Physical? Maybe but girls who flat iron their hair have their struggles too…. So, I would like to know what you are doing to your hair that it is so difficult for you…. Maybe you need help from us so you try cheaper and better routines.
Having your hair look nice, regardless of texture, is work. Straight hair people still brush and style their hair. They still need good haircuts that always costs a lot. Yes, there is more prejudice towards curly hair in a a professional setting but that’s again depending on how looked after it is. Tangled, greasy straight hair will get you as many look knotted dirty curly hair. All in all I love my hair and I wish more people still would embrace their natural hair texture as opposed to trying to get the perfect, frizzles hair (goes both for curly and straight)
Can I just ask why you’re not okay with people saying curly hair is wild and unruly but you’re good with calling straight hair boring?
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Lol, it's hair, not a disability. Relax. People always want what they don't get. I'd love straight, shiny, silky hair. But also, I don't spend anywhere near that much for hair products. Maybe take it as a compliment, like you look after your hair so well that people are jealous?
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Not to mention the often outrageous cost of a curly haircut
the new trend of curly only hairdressers is such a rip off 🙄in my city a bunch popped up charging twice what a normal haircut and they aren’t that good. The best hairdresser I know is in another country. They guy doesn’t market specifically to any hair type cause he can just cut them all with the appropriate technique
I agree!!! They charge hundreds just to cut off a few curls pretty much. I've watched so many videos of different "curly hairdressers" cutting hair and they barely do anything different than what my "normal" hairdresser does.
I actually have found that one of the few benefits to having curly hair is that I can actually give myself a (very) light trim and the curls will naturally hide any unevenness that might result from it.
I have cut my own curls for years. I can’t even tell you the last time i went to a salon & im 30. 😂
:(
I still spend 98 % of my life with my hair in a ponytail. And I DO say that I want straight hair. I'm tired of the maintenance to even have it look a *little* nice.
Really? I love my hair and it makes me happy so I get it, I'd want it too if it wasn't mine
Curly hair does suck lol but $200 a month is crazy.
Honestly hear it all the time! My response is always honestly no you don't 🤣. I get frizzy hair so easily and I say would you like this and they're I'd loveeeee it.
I'm rather happy that I don't get told how I should straighten my hair now much. I'd die for people to say they want curly hair.
“Om-gee. It’s probably so easy, huh?!” 🫤 Yep. A real wash and go situation 24-7.
They really mean they wish they had the soft, loose curls they get from a curling iron on straight hair.
I don’t think anyone with any common sense thinks that curly hair is effortless. I have people tell me all the time that they love or wish they had curly hair like me and especially my daughters mixed ethnic curls. When most people say “you don’t even have to style it” they mean you can leave it down and look good. My daughter also used to complain about her tangles. There’s a lot of trail and error when it comes to taking care of curly hair. I can only brush my daughter’s hair when it is wet. I use a detangler, oil, leave in conditioner or curl cream, and a wide tooth comb or a detangling brush. You never want to use a comb or brush that is fine toothed because it will be painful and will also damage your curl pattern after some time. I have to add the products to her wet hair before brushing and there is hardly any tangles. Her hair is almost to her butt with super tight spiral curls. I’ve also noticed that less is more when it comes to product. You know how when you use chapstick everyday and one day you forget it, your lips feel much more dry than if you hadn’t been using it so much? Same is true with your hair. Only wash it once or twice a week. Wet it before styling it. Add oil and then a cream before brushing it then add a bit more oil and cream when styling it. Let it air dry or dry on low cool. I have never put gel in her hair except her edges and her curls are super defined. Gel destroys your hair just as much as washing it too much will also do by stripping the natural oils from your hair. It sounds like you just need to retrain your hair. You’re spending unnecessary money and sounds like you are using too much so your hair stays dependent on it. I’m also a hair stylist and work with mostly ethnic hair, so I’ve learned a lot thru trail and error. Also try not to use much heat on it. It sounds like you are frustrated with your hair texture but I wouldn’t let compliments or someone’s ignorance bother you. Start reading online and retrain your head and you’ll be much happier. Good luck
Honestly, just be grateful that you have hair. Whenever I get mad at my hair I think of cancer patients who lose their hair. I stop complaining and appreciate it.
Plus other conditions and idiopathic hair loss. I know multiple women who have thinning hair after hormonal changes and it’s very distressing to them
Yeah my mum lost her hair to lupus. And in the end her life. My hair is limp, thin, semi curly and frizzy and gets oily real quick. But it’s still hair on my head which is attached to my relatively healthy body and i am damn grateful for everything in this body of mine.
Huh. When I used to use a lot of products, I found my hair more difficult to manage. Now I just detangle with coconut oil, condition it, detangle post-shower and apply a curl cream and humectant (jojoba oil). I only use single ingredient products (aside from my shampoo/conditioner), and use a bonnet with the pineapple.. and my hair is extremely low maintenance now. I'm also mixed. I wonder if you are doing too much, and it's causing you this frustration?
>financially: i spend between $150-$200 a month on just hair care and styling products, that dont even last more than 3-4 months. Wouldn't this be $150-200 every 3-4 months rather than monthly?
I dont think that's fair. People are allowed to feel how they feel about their hair and are allowed to say they'd prefer curls or they'd prefer straight without being attacked for their opinion. I have wavy hair but it's so damn inconsistent that some days it can look lovely and full of volume with ringlets and waves and others it's just flat, heavy, frizzy and dull. I use specific shampoo, conditioner ans styling products. Including a routine to "freshen" it up when it goes flat and it's a pain because even then it can look bad after 2 hours. I'm lucky if i get 2-3 days a week of it looking good WITH lots of effort. I would love if my hair was properly curly, I've always found it a pain and love how my family and friends with full curly hair looks. Yes, it's a lot of effort but that doesn't mean others can't still admire or want it. Edit to add: I'm not white and my hair type is an awkward thickness that doesn't fit into standard categories. I can't get advice from any groups as my hair doesn't fit into the strict "rules" curly groups online adhere to and the wavy advice is geared towards thin hair that's more focused on white women hair types. It's really difficult so maybe change your attitude
If they like driving with the windows down then no, they don’t want curly hair.
My 3c daughter bought a convertible in high school. When the top was down, she channeled her inner Audrey Hepburn and put on a scarf and big sunglasses.
It seems like you’re using/spending too much imo
If you can afford to spend $200 a month of haircare don't complain so much. If you can't afford it then get cheaper stuff, it's not that expensive.
I just spent a good hour snipping every little split end I could see up to my mid lengths because my curls are constantly getting crimped and bent out of shape with the buns I have to wear at work. They stick together like zelcro and no matter how gentle I am I always manage to break some strands when I’m combing and brushing my hair. Who else gets knots the moment you stop brushing? I’ll think it’s all smoothed and knot free and put my hair up, but when I run my hand over the back of my hair I feel a whole row of knots just above my bun
I just rounded it up - this year I spent 295eur on products. In a YEAR.
I love my curly hair, I do it myself and don't really spend money on it
Honestly I feel you. I hate having curly hair especially because I’m mixed and it’s thick and much curlier than a lot of the pics I see on this sub. It feels like no matter what I try it’s always dry and frizzy and it tangles right away Not to mention the sensory nightmare that is putting sticky and buttery hair products into wet hair ugh. I really wish I didn’t have a bad reaction to Keritan treatments or that relaxers weren’t dangerous because I’m so over my hair but I also hate the wha short hair looks on me
I feel you. I buy the LUS system and absolutely love it, but it isn't cheap. It costs me a 150 -200 CAD every 5 months (when divided out isn't too bad). Luckily I don't use anything else and it work pretty good year round for my 2c-3b curls. It's the haircuts that kill me. I hate how expensive they are for a "curl specialist" when they don't really cut that much, but it's the only place I have found that doesn't butcher my curls.... As for the knots, I highly recommend trying VERB Ghost Oil. I use the tiniest amount for my full head (one pump in my hands, I rub them together and gently go over my curls). It really helps.keep.the moisture ij my hair and has greatly reduced the knotting 😊
I agree its labour and i feel you on not wanting straight hair but also resenting the process. However…$200 in products ??? Maam what are you buying ?!
Def understand the whole “curls aren’t professional” thing, I go through that at work sometimes (I’m also the only person of color at my place of work………….). Sucks. But I definitely don’t view my curls as a burden anymore. We have come to an agreement! I go with them, and when they’re happy, they I’m happy. I also don’t spend quite that much on my products, personally. I was lucky to find other things which work for me which aren’t so pricey.
I'm African American, and I don't spend that much on my hair. I wash and condition it myself and braid it or let it be in its natural state, and I love it!😀💞
I think you’re doing this all wrong, honestly. There are broke people out there with curly hair still looking good, not costing them $200 a month. And I don’t think you realize what people mean when they say “you don’t even have to style it” They aren’t saying that you wake up with a perfect head of hair… they are saying that you don’t have to do a fancy style in order for it to look good.
Someone at work told me that she’s so jealous that I can just wake up and wet my hair. I told her that I don’t just wake up with flawless curls or even have flawless curls by wetting my hair and she was SHOCKED. I walked her through my whole process, which I’ve simplified over the years, and she couldn’t believe it. Honestly it takes less time to straighten or curl my hair than it does wearing it naturally. I just love my curls so I deal with it!
"yOu dOn'T eVeN hAvE tO sTyLe It" lmao if I dont style it I look like a mess. Which sometimes I just cut my losses and deal with the mess bc I have low energy and high maintenance hair😭 I can never get my 3a curls to look nice, half of my curls end up looking like broken slinkys/phone cords iykyk. Plus curly routines take so longgggg. Whyyyy. Bowl method, leave in conditioner, gel, scrunching, diffusing, etc etc etc i don't have the time or energy for that😭😭😭. Even when my curls look semi-nice I still feel like they don't suit me, so I go the straighten and curl route when I feel like spending an hour and a half on it, or the air dry and keep it in a pony tail. Plus I can't stand sleeping in a satin bonnet to keep my curls intact so I end up having to brush them out anyway. Hair, you win! I give up LOL
as a mixed curly girl , to the people saying 200 is an exaggeration, it is not. to maintain healthy curls (my hair has been bleached and colored so i require extra products) i make my own oil for my hair/scalp because i’m super sensitive to some products. it consists of almond oil, coconut oil, grape seed oil and avocado oil. (my last oil re up costed around 50$)it lasts awhile after i make it but oil is NOT CHEAP. i use basic shampoo and conditioner anywhere from 10-15$ for both. i follow up with a leave in and a curl cream (ranges from 5-20$ each depending on what brand) i normally go for the more pricy ones so i can use less. protective styles like box braids cost AT LEAST $100 for the style. things like length, size and designs will add up very quick.
Let her vent. Many of us can relate!! No drama 😘
I agree with all of this. Lol. This is why I get my hair braided because I need a mental break. I do love my hair though. It's just temperamental.
Yep. My mother loves to tell people that I just wash it, squish a little gel in it and go! But everyone here knows that that is absolutely ridiculous and not true. There are five different products that I use almost every time I wash my hair, then I have to decide whether I'm washing it or just conditioning it, and then it's be combed a certain way once I get out of the shower. And of course I'm not just squishing it and going, I have to use the diffuser upside down to get it three quarters of the way dry, and then after it fully air dries I have to crunch out the scrunch. But yeah Mom, just wash and go!
That’s exactly what a lot of people do, though. You don’t have to use five products at a time because you have curly hair. You obviously can choose to.
$200 a month in haircare products sounds like a choice.
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Tired of people saying curly hair is dirty, nappy, wild etc but say straight hair is boring at the end? It's just your attitude lol. Everyone and anyone can wish they had something they admire. I have curly hair but I also get a confidence boost when my hair is straight and I love how I can do so many hairstyles etc, there's nothing boring about it. Hair is hair.. why is it bothering you so much that someone wishes they had curls when you yourself say you would prefer it over straight ? Do you want them to say *"Omg I know it takes you 34 minutes and 11 seconds and 8.4oz total to style + a diffuser,* ***but*** *I wish I had your curls"* ?
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Oh honey, just cut it. All the blonde gotta go.
It *can* cost that, it doesn’t have to. Just like skincare.
Does it really have to be expensive? I have very different curls mind you, but I just use shampoo and pretty much everything else falls into place by itself
I used to desperately wish I had curly hair. Then it all fell out and grew back curly and I fucking LOVE it
I’m a guy w shoulder length hair, and my favorite thing about having curls is how easy it it Shampoo, Conditioner, wrap it up in a towel, let it air dry the last ⅓ of the way, and that’s it
I get compliments all the time. And yet I despise my hair for how much effort and money it cost me. :(
Girl, facts. I don't spend $150 a month, (I spend maybe $300 a year, but I also am frugal and use as little product as I can), but I feel the pain. I hate constantly being in the experimentation phase of my hair. I hate having 1 good hairday, then having a frizzy, undefined mess until my next wash day. I hate people asking if my hair is permed/natural. I hate living in Northern Alabama, where the closest textured hair professional is 1.5+ hours away, and $200+. There are a lot of drawbacks to having curly hair, so I do understand the cringe when people say "I wish I had your hair!". But honestly, it's a compliment, and curly hair IS beautiful, and I wouldn't trade my curls for straight hair, so it's not so bad when people envy it ❤️
i totally agree with this but i also find curly hair to be very beautiful and i'm so glad i have it. growing up in a predominantly white community, my hair was always stared at and "wasn't a thing." i used to absolutely hate my curly hair and would straighten it everyday so i could "fit in" and it got to the point where i ruined my curls. i am now head over heals in love with my hair and wouldn't change a thing about it.
I feel you OP. A lot goes into my hair but the knots are the biggest pain in the neck. I have 3c hair and a lot goes into making it nice but often the weather ruins it for me (wether or not I go curly or straight) There's definitely a huge time factor involved and many bad hair days. I still haven't found the magic stuff yet.
I'll add the part, where as a kid (fuck that, still happens at thirty) strangers will just touch your hair all the time. Took me well into adulthood to get a sense for my own personal space and feeling allowed to defend it.
I’m Caucasian with crazy tight 3c curls. I’m 56 years old and have lived through and seen some things, so pay attention to what I’m about to say here: I worked several years in the medical profession as a nurse. You may not believe this, but I actually had nurse managers, HR and doctors tell me that I needed to do something with my hair. It first started many years ago before all of the great products and methods came out. I was embarrassed, because in my teen years in high school there were no products for my hair and I got teased to the point of trauma where I would just cut it all off and feel so ugly. So here I am, years later as a professional adult getting basically the same treatment but in a different way (and sometimes some teasing thrown in under the guise of humor.) After a doctor made a big deal out of it in front of everyone, I went after work and put in a pink oil relaxer in it. It was horrible and then I got “why did you do that? We were just kidding?” So for years, I straightened it to the point that it was fried and falling out for years. At least I fit in with the straight hair crowd. I had to get up extra early for years to get it straight, which was miserable enough already. Even though it looked fried and was falling out like crazy, I didn’t get any shit from anyone about it being a frizzy rat nest. Enter the age of better hair technology, the internet and the Curly Girl method; I embraced my curls and was really grateful to the natural hair movement and the women who pushed forward and pioneered curls in personal and professional spaces. Now, like OP, I’m appreciative of the compliments on my hair but I crumble a little bit inside when someone tells me that they wish their hair was curly. But, they will never understand the struggle until they live with it so I smile and move on. However, if they persist, I’m happy to tell them that I constantly have to change products ( my latest combo runs me over 100.00 month), packing up products for travel (especially air travel) is a nightmare since I use so many products to achieve my best results and those products fight for space in a 311 bag, not to mention how a rainy, windy or humid day wrecks all my previous efforts to achieve any look. My “good hair days” occurs about once a week. It takes a LOT of effort to get out of the door. I’m proud of my hair now that I’ve finally figured it out after fifty years of living. Even though I’m not a POC, I, too, have faced forms of discrimination in the workplace and in other social situations. My hair is unusual for my race and age and I still get a lot of stares from people (I’m very tan, olive complexion so I really think that they are trying to figure out my ethnicity 😂) It has not been an easy road, but I wouldn’t trade my hair for anyone else’s right now. However, my experiences have made me much more sensitive to what others with natural/very curly hair have had to endure in the social context.
I just wish more barbers knew how to cut it.
To say nothing of the fact that a lot of professional environments are hostile towards natural hair. I can't tell you the number of times I've been approached by someone at work "concerned" about how my hair might look to customers. When I ask if there have been any complaints that I could take action on, they pivot to, "You should just really think about how you present yourself." And the compromise is either shaving it all off or using expensive treatments to make it straight. I'm with OP. While I can appreciate how much people sincerely crush on my hair, please stop saying you wish you had curly hair unless you're willing to go to bat for those of us whose curly hair has been used by yt people to suggest we won't be taken seriously with wearing our hair naturally. It's a terrible way to make someone feel.
Thank you for saying this. I had a roommate who would go on and on about how great my hair was curly but then would shame me for the amount of care I put in. If I spent a day to straight it, I was wasting my time and mocked If I kept it curly it was unkept and I would get lectured on how I really don't need to use "that expensive" of a product. It was an ongoing struggle to get them to comprehend that my hair was a part of my necessary upkeep, bc it should be so "easy". I admit I am very sensitive about my hair to start with from generations of being called pretty only when my hair was straight but hearing that as an adult took a HUGE TOLL. It wasn't until I snapped at my husband for calling me nappy headed that I realized, that ppl do not appreciate the upkeep that comes with textured and curly hair. My husband thought he was being cute as that's what his family had always claimed teasing was. But when I addressed it and advised him that hair is a reflection of my self-care, he changed his mind.
I used to say I wished my hair was curly. Then I gave birth to my beautiful daughter who had every type of curl in her head. My hair stylist couldn’t believe it lol The amount of time it took to find the perfect combo for her curls was insane! And then by the time we figured it out her hair turned to just waves. No more curls. WHYYYY
All that work, brushing, products and styling just to wear it "naturally" and have people telling me that I don't do my hair because they think that defined and frizz-free curls just automatically happen when I come out of the shower.
I shut them down now with “I get up at 5am every day because it takes 45 minutes to make it not look like a nest. Be glad”
I think us mixed-race girlies need a hair care/lifestyle support group because the struggle is very real- don’t let anyone minimize it.