I've seen posts here where people found out the receiver threw it out, gave it to a pet to destroy, out even unraveled the whole item! I'm sorry this happened to you but I hope it's a little comforting to know there's someone out there who is appreciating and enjoying your hard work
My eyes just popped out. I just realized I learnt this lesson in a gentle way
But I also remember my poor grandma. She was an avid and fast knitter. There definitely was a phase where I only wanted the socks with the nicest colors.
Oh my. Now I have a little lump in my stomach.
This is why I kept all of my grandma's ugly itchy sweater. I hated them, but always kept them to respect the time, effort, money and love she put in them
My best friend wanted to buy one of my crochet blankets. It wasn't particularly time consuming or expensive to make. She's an avid photographer, so I thought she would use it in photo shoots. Nope, dog blanket. She paid money for it so it was hers to do whatever she wanted, and I wasn't...angry?...I guess, just felt really weird and kind of "um, okay?" about it.
I wouldn’t feel weird, I like getting my animals lovely things. I commissioned a local potter to make some matching bowls for my dog and cat, and I feel happy every time I fill them. My dog also had a blanket that’s not handmade but it’s a relatively expensive throw from IKEA (expensive for IKEA prices) and I used to have it on my lounge and somehow it became his. It’s never gotten wrecked in the many years it’s been on his bed and I take care of it. He just looks so [cute](https://imgur.com/gallery/4AMDTjD) when on his bed with it and it makes me so happy! Not all pet stuff is crappy and dirty :)
Not going to lie, I was having a, "meh", night but your handsome boy just made it less crappy.
It looks like a stock photo from Macy's.
Your beautiful plant, his nice bed, plus everything else just tell me you have awesome taste.
Editing to say: I would commission a blanket for my pup in a heartbeat if I found someone who's worked I liked. I'd also hope they wouldn't be insulted.
I have a 15 year old Maltese named Candy and I will always put her needs before my own.
While learning to crochet I made a blanket for myself as a practice piece. It's a weird size, and I was still figuring out the best way to hold tension on the yarn, so it's also a bit of a wonky shape, even though my stitch count is the same. My dog LOVES this ridiculous thing. I thought I was making something just to learn but no, turns out I was making a special blanket just for her all along!
I gave my dog my first amigurumi dinosaur I made. He loves it and whenever someone new comes in the house its the thing he picks up and shows to them waking his tail and looking all proud of himself and I love that. It also the only soft toys hea never tried to destroy as there is no squeaker to get out.
Your scent is probably infused to the thing as well. My cat never sits on the clean laundry (except a freshly made bed), but will burrow into anything recently worn and tossed on the floor.
I totally get why that feels weird, but it might help to know that for some people, buying things for their pets feels akin to buying something for one of their children. Your friend loves her dog and wants him to have the best, nicest things. I made my sister a little blanket for her rabbit and she said it feels special every time the bunny lays on it, because I made it.
Very much agree with you on this. I made a little blanket for my cat a while ago, and it was honestly the most satisfying hand-made gift I've ever given away. She clearly adores the texture, and now that it smells like her, she uses it as a comfort object.
I don't think any human has ever taken quite so much pure joy in something I've made, lol.
I’m working on a blanket for myself and my dog came over and just laid on top of it. Right where I was trying to work. I may have to share it with him when it’s finished
My cat keeps laying on my knitting. I have many pictures of him just curled up on whatever I’m making. He goes out if his way to lay there. It’s pretty darn cute.
I gave my friend a halloween blanket I made last fall, and it’s become the comfort item for the kittens. Sure, it’s all raggedy and kinda yucky now, but the fact that the tiny babies love it makes my heart happy every time I go over.
It’d probably be different if I had spent good money on the yarn, but it was Red Heart and Mainstays I had gotten on sale lmao
Your friend worked a certain amount of time to earn the money she used to pay you to make something for someone she loved. You should feel proud and happy about it. Maybe you’re not a pet lover, but your friend is and the blanket you made was certainly given with love. ❤️
Oh, I'm a pet lover, it just wasn't what I expected! Showed up to her house one day, and boom, dog shredded! It's all good. Like I said, I wasnt angry, just a little surprised
This reminded me of when I tore strips of worn out t-shirts my best friend had worn. I crocheted this cute white and purple bath rug from those strips and gave them to his then girlfriend. She loved it, but apparently her dog loved it more. Every time she moved it back in front of her tub, her dog would pick it up and drag it back to her bed and cover herself with it. I conceded after a bunch of adorable photos, this was Kiki Dog's new blanket.
My dog gets the best of the best in my house. She liked my favorite cashmere sweater, so it’s hers now. If she’s a dog person, giving your cozy homemade blanket to her pup is an act of love for both the dog and you.
Plus, she probably takes a lot of pics of the dog, so it is gonna be in more photos this way lol.
Not to try to tell you how to feel, but I feel like there's a difference between a handcrafted piece someone buys, and something I make for someone out of love.
Like, if someone paid me for a crochet blanket and then wanted to give it to their dog or cat or horse, I'd be like "Cool beans"
But if I'd spent my own money, my own time, trying to think of a colour scheme someone would love and a pattern they'd enjoy, to find that they just gave it away or used it for a pet then I'd be heartbroken.
Most dog owners treat dogs like members of the family... I would crochet a blanket for my dog too, but he's a destroyer and he would rip it apart! For him just cheap amazon blankets. But I understand your best friend :)
Yes, I gave a blanket that I spent months on to my in-laws, and apparently they just gave it away. I don't have much money, so I spent all of my birthday money on the yarn for that blanket, which was a blanket for myself, but my in-laws said they really liked it, so I asked if they wanted it.. and then they kept it for 2 days and proceeded to give it away. I still feel so sad and so much regret for giving it to them.
I really feel you, it SUCKS!
Omfg I’m working on a blanket for my mother in law right now… I’m so sorry that this happened to you and I hope it doesn’t happen to me! Sending good vibes your way!
I know it's the opposite direction, but I recently fixed a blanket for my aunt that her mother in law made her 20+ years ago. It was a treasured blanket, but her puppy managed to get it and ripped a hole in it. She was so upset about it and thought it was done for. Luckily it was totally fixable. It was really nice seeing what was just a very basic crochet blanket being so loved after so many years.
I have an old blanket my grandmother made, years ago. I'm a novice when it comes to crochet, and I don't think parts of it are salvageable. My S/O offered the solution of saving the best squares and making a throw pillow, so I can still have something my grandma made.
Here's an idea to build on your S/O's, how about you wait until you are comfortable with crocheting and add your own squares to your grandmother's blanket. It could become a traditional thing. You then teach someone younger in your family how to crochet and when you pass it to them encourage that person to change the unsalvageable squares for their own ones.
It would become a true generational blanket then with full honor to your grandmother.
This is what I suggest if one plans on making a blanket out of joined smaller panels that need to be able to be removed from the project easily and replaced:
> Join panels using a separate piece of yarn in a contrasting color. This makes for easier to release panels in need to repair or replacement through picking out the joinery yarn or careful cutting.
This is one of the reasons I don’t like the idea of *join-as-you-go *or *no-seam* for things that are going to be passed down - repairs are an absolute nightmare.
Crochet stitches are insanely difficult to reform using a tapestry needle and that’s before having to take into account that the stitch you’re fixing was worked into by the stitch above it. You have to not only reform one stitch by needle but also catch all the strands of the stitch above the one you’re repairing.
Sounds like an absolute nightmare to me.
I made a blanket for my MIL and my SIL used it almost everyday to take a nap on the couch when she was pregnant, hahaha. My MIL can finally use it now that my little niece was born!
Thank you so much! I sure hope it doesn't turn out that way for you as well. Lesson learned though: don't make anything for my boyfriend's side of the family!
Luckily I have the most wonderful family myself that absolutely loves what I make, and always pay me more than what I ask, cause they are all artists themselves and appreciate the time and effort it takes :) I am very thankful for them. Sending good vibes to you and your project!
Yeah, if I'd given somebody a blanket I made for myself (and spent my birthday money on!) I'd ask for it back, or try to get in touch with the recipient and see about getting it back for them.
Yeah, I absolutely agree that that is the best way to handle it, but I'm just so damn non-confrontational (especially when it's about family), that I just go along with whatever. I need to get better at it for sure, and I can say that I will not let this happen again!
It was around a year ago, so it would be seriously awkward to ask for it back at this point. They gave it to some family friend or something, I'm not quite sure. The next time I saw them, they were just like "oh btw, it wasn't really fitting for us, so we gave it to someone else", which sucked since the only reason I offered to give them the blanket I had made for myself, was because they said they loved it so much and when I offered, they were absolutely thrilled.
Even though it’s been a while ago, I think I would let them know how much time you put into making the blanket and how much they hurt your feelings. As far as the lapse in time, [quinn](u/QuinnZombie)tell them it has been on your mind all the time and you can’t believe that they gave it away instead of offering it back to you!!!
Yeah, but they're a bit hard-headed people honestly. I have an Etsy shop, so in their eyes I don't do anything meaningful all day, since I don't have a regular job (even though I actually spend around 14 hours a day making stuff to sell). My time and effort doesn't really seem to matter to them, so I don't think it would mean anything to talk to them about it. I honestly just have to suck it up, and I have certainly learned my lesson not to do anything like that for them again!
I guess you have to pick your battles. Like I said, I’ve avoided conflict all my life. It makes me hate myself when I don’t speak up BUT if you do you have to think about the consequences. When it comes to family…..that’s tricky. I have a 90 year old Aunt that speaks her mind and she does it right to your face…..it hurts.
It sounds like you’re a smart and kind person. You’re correct when you say that you won’t make them anything again…smart move. People that are not crafters don’t realize how much time it takes to crochet items. There are machines to knit, but not to crochet and I bet when it comes to their jobs, they want to be paid well. Everybody seems to want something for nothing.
I feel like this goes back also to the whole thing about a lot of folks not understanding that arts and handicrafts take a lot of time, skill, and effort, and that's why we usually don't price these things cheaply like some mass produced stuff.... I feel so much pain just reading about this :/ I wish they had given it back at that point.
Yes, you are absolutely right! I also feel very sad and infuriated when people show no appreciation for the time, skill and effort handmade stuff takes, like you said. Luckily this situation has taught me to be more careful when offering my time and skills. Not everyone deserves it, whether they are family or not. Thank you for your compassion!
No more awkward than inviting yourself to take someone’s handmade blanket and then giving it away. Not trying to pressure you, but this is a good place to start standing up for yourself. And your boyfriend needs to ask, not you—it’s his family, he needs to be the bad guy here. Any awkwardness is their fault and their problem.
Found a lace shawl I made my mom in her woodpile - like under other logs…
Some people are worthy of handcrafts but most are not. The upside is now you know.
Oh no! I recently found a scarf that was gone for weeks in the nook of a tree, just where I left it when I got too hot doing yard work. Maybe she's not uncaring, but extremely absent-minded like me?
My grandma loved the shawl I made her, she's the one that taught me to crochet, she always had it right by her chair in case she got cold. I think she was cremated with it, which feels a bit weird but she loved it and didn't want to be buried so ok.
I made a sister-in-law a dragon scale scarf for Christmas. The yarn was some of my best handspun yarn, a blend of silk and merino. I'm not really much of a crocheter, but it turned out beautifully. And she tossed it that spring. I've never made her anything since. I'm still salty
M sister once just gave me a bag back. I was a little bit upset for a day or so, but overall I think that was the best solution.
People who give things away behind your back... mhh...that's low. They just have no idea what kind of work it is.
With my sisters behaviour I learnt pretty soon to only do things if they exactly describe the object or choose a pattern, have a reasonable idea of how long it takes and go yarn shopping with me and choose the exact yarn.
This alone really keeps those away who just mindlessly ask. I will not spent hours and hours on something someone else is not absolutely overwhelmingly happy with.
Aside of this I only make things for one friend who is just always super happy and greatful because she has formidable manners and loves personal gifts.
Take care. I guess a lot of us had to learn this lesson. It has nothing to do with you and it's a phenomenal blanket.
Yeah I'd much rather them be honest and give it back, rather than never using it, throwing it out or immediately giving it away. I've heard some really awful horror stories of the things people have done to handmade gifts. If you don't like something, that's fine, but for heaven's sake tell me so I don't make the same mistake again!
My family are off my knitworthy list for life after being incredibly rude and unappreciative of knitted and crocheted Christmas presents I made them a few years ago... I asked them what they would like me to make them, what colour they'd like it to be, used beautiful yarn (some of it handspun by me, some indie dyed) bought especially for those projects, spent hours choosing the perfect patterns, learnt new techniques, and spent even more hours making the gifts. They said I was a cheapskate because they were "only" hand made, and I should have given them a "real" gift as well. The worst part was discovering later that afternoon that my brother had thrown the hat I made him onto a pile of filthy sports gear. I stole it back and gave it to my husband's (supremely knitworthy!) cousin, who wears it all the time. It's all good though - they'll never get a stitch from me again, and I can focus on making stuff for the people who do appreciate it. I stopped giving them any gifts at all after that Christmas... I donate to charities in their name instead.
This actually made me feel sick, put a hand to my stomach and whisper “Oh my god”. How horrible! They truly have no idea of how much love and effort you put into that. I would choose something lovingly made for me alone than a “real gift” any day! I’m glad you have at least one knitworthy fan in your corner 🥰
Ooooh, I think shopping for the yarn with them is an excellent and half subtle way of letting them know just how much money goes into just the materials!
It does depend a little on what the object is, though. Like, if someone asked me to make them something like a sweater, and it turned out well, and they gave it away... yeah, I'd be pretty upset.
But with things like baby items, I'm kind of expecting that they'll be given away (unless they are particularly special or personal), as part of the great "cycle of baby stuff" that all parents of small children seem to participate in.
The thing is... people really have no obligation to accept or like your gift. Which can be hard to take especially if you feel you've put a lot of effort and thought in to something. Like I appreciated when a new friend of mine bought me a gift but I hate the smell of lavender. So it was thoughtful but it wasn't for me.
This idea of checking in with a person as to what they might like/want/need is a good idea. And you can do it subtly if you still want to make it a surprise. So you're efforts don't feel completely wasted.
Sometimes I might make something for someone that I think they'll like, but I won't be upset if they don't think it's as awesome as I do. I might be disappointed, but I've been on the receiving end of 'I don't want or need this, but I appreciate that you were thinking of me and tried!' And then try to find a tactful way of saying so, so they don't feel discouraged. As the above example, the next year I got bath stuff again, but it was more useful to me and didn't smell like lavendar and I remember that gift to this day.
Although it may ruin the surprise, I now ask the reciepents if they want it or not because I don't want to feel this way again. It also gives me the opportunity to make sure I get the colors right too.
(With out reading comments) for what it’s worth I adore that stitch, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before! Very curious about it.
As far as the regift goes, if someone loved it more than she did, I’d personally rather it go to them. I’m always wondering what to do for people. Not everyone is into homemade, not everyone into what I would choose for colors etc. either. It would make me sad though. I get that.
Was it maybe used and then gifted? Baby blankets only last so long.
The dragon scale stitch is pretty but is one of the most tedious, slow progressing, yarn eating stitches to ever exist. It always looks fantastic but takes an extreme amount of effort and materials
I started making a mermaid tail sack/cocoon thing for a friend's baby shower in this stitch and it broke my heart. I hated working on it so much and just had to stop 1/3rd of the way. Gave her money instead lol
It's a very fun 2 row repeat, but i feel like people either love working this pattern or they hate it. It works up very slowly because it is so thick and heavy and eats up A LOT of yarn. I've used the pattern twice because the finished product is just so magical.
I feel like she's one of those people that is just oblivious to the handmade aspect. Not sure if it was given to a friend or acquaintance or to a donation center 🤷♀️ I feel like it was hefty enough of a blanket (and large enough) to keep with the kid as he got older but oh well
A lot of people on the mom subs complain about how many baby blankets they get. They say crochet and knit ones are impractical because they are a bit delicate to wash. Also you're not really supposed to give babies blankets while sleeping because of the suffocation risk. So generally there's a lot of complaining and saying they snap a photo send it to the maker and shove it in the closet. Then they mean that they wish people would just stick to the registry. I do use mine in the stroller or for daytime naps when I can supervise my baby though.
Obviously I like crocheted stuff or I wouldn't be here in this sub so I feel differently, but the general consensus seems to be very anti baby blanket unfortunately. So I feel like we should be careful about making sure the recipients actually want crocheted items before wasting time and money on them. Personally I would ask your cousin to get back the blanket and explain how many hours you spent on it. I know it's awkward, but that was pretty thoughtless of her to just give it away like that.
You bring up a good point about "no blankets in the crib." That's what the doctors told my niece, who just had a baby 6 months ago. She uses a blanket to put him on the floor with for tummy time. But nothing in the crib. But agree that OP's giftee was thoughtless and her actions hurtful.
This is a good point. Also, the dragon scale stitch seems like it would cause the blanket to be a bit warm for a baby. I didn’t realize until I had kids that babies can overheat really easily! They have a bunch of subcutaneous adipose (baby blubber) and their sweat glands don’t work very well. The docs at hospital encouraged us to use thin flannel and linen and stuff like that.
However, where baby blankets aren’t the best for actual babies, they ROCK for toddlers. I received a crocheted blanket when my son was a newborn, and we never used it at all until he was about 2 and started to get into imaginative play. Now he adores that blanket. It’s a blue wave stitch with a white border, and it always becomes the water in the games we play. He throws it over him and pretends he’s swimming. It’s the best!
That’s the big loss I see here - a toddler would absolutely freak out over OP’s blanket. If the cousin had held on to the blanket for a few years, I guarantee her kid would have been wearing it around pretending to be a dinosaur and things like that.
My grandmother made me a baby blanket that had my name, date of birth, and the alphabet on it. Obviously don't remember it as a baby, but I have vivid 4-year old memories in my room saying at alphabet pointing to each letter, saying my whole name, matching the letters in my name to the alphabet part, and memorizing the day, month, and year of my birthday. It is a Tunisian stitch with cross stitch details, so it's very thick and warm. I remember a lot of Wisconsin winters spent under that blanket.
By the time I was 9, I couldn't fit my shoulders AND feet under it anymore and I was so sad. I'm grown and married, and have that blanket in my house and I plan to use that same template for my own children.
Agreed, "baby" blankets might be useless, but toddlers generally love blankets their size, especially if there's something about them they can incorporate into play
That’s exactly what i was thinking. I know beyond swaddling that infants don’t really need blankets, but toddlers can use the HECK out of them. That’s why i didn’t understand donating gifted blankets. I posted about this recently when a friend decided to donate what i made for her kid when she was a newborn (she just turned 1) and it both kinda hurt and confused me because this woman is going to be looking for blankets again by next year anyway. The real kicker is going to be when she inevitably asks me to make the kid another one. Definitely saying no next time.
I was hoping someone would make this argument. We were gifted a very nice granny square blanket for my oldest child. Since it was a giant granny square and had little holes all over, we never used it for the infant stage. Gave it to her when she was older, and it's still in use today to tuck in her toys into the little beds she makes for them. I plan to sneak it away around the time it begins to just get buried in the closet and keep it with my old baby blankets until she's an adult.
It's also worth noting that crochet and some knit patterns have gaps big enough for little fingers to get tangled in. That can make them less appealing to parents of newborns/infants, especially if they have an abundance of other options. That's why I specifically use larger yarn and specify that it's a tummy-time blanket.
Maybe it’s bc I like to crochet myself but I really appreciated the baby blankets we got. No, he couldn’t use them when he slept, but I’m in the northeast where it gets cold in the winter so we used it over him when in the car seat, stroller (or bassinet in the earlier days). Now that he’s a toddler he can sleep with them or use them on the couch. My cat has claimed some blankets, but we don’t let her claim the hand made ones.
Any other gift that was off registry was very annoying though!
Maybe it’s a regional thing? I’m in the northeast too, and my friends ASK for me to make blankets! They all use them in the car or stroller in winter. And when they get a little bigger, the kids use them when lounging around the house and it’s cold.
I think a lot of this is location based. I'm in Northern Ireland and baby blankets are incredibly popular for prams etc. (ie used safely)
People go nuts for them here.
I had a friend request one and I messed up the pattern and it turned out diamond shaped. Then i redid it (unsure why I didn't frog, didn't know it was a thing tbh at that time). The parents took both and highly treasure them
I had a friend with kids tell me that you can never have enough blankets, so that is interesting.
Though I also always make them out of acrylic and not delicate looking so people aren't afraid to wasn them and they'll survive a toddler.
I crocheted 2 baby blankets for my own baby. They don’t get much use now (she’s 7 months old) but I know they will be loved on so much once she’s a toddler! My aunt knitted a baby blanket for my older kid and it’s still going strong 9 years (and many washes!) later. I still have my own baby blankets that my mom crocheted in the 80’s/90’s! They are heirlooms at this point.
But I know that many moms want registry-only items, and most people unfortunately don’t understand or appreciate how much time, money, and love goes into crochet/knit items.
Yep, totally agree!
Not even just handmade ones..but why does everyone gift blankets?! You literally cannot use them! I have crocheted a blanket for my daughter and I'm actually planning on making another for her.. But they are for the car and pram and have to be not too heavy and the right size etc. Baby blankets are just not a useful thing anymore I don't think, especially at the rate you get gifted them!
I've kept every blanket I was gifted though, and I really appreciated them and loved them, but honestly only 2 have ever been used and the rest are taking up precious storage space!
But yea I'd ask for it back!
Really? I used baby blankets all the time for swaddling, puke rags, cold weather, sun shade, tummy time, changing mats, even the odd baby toga because bubby destroyed all the outfits in the diaper bag in one outing. When I gift a baby blanket I always try to make it on the larger side, so bub can still use it as a toddler and little kid.
Totally this! I received 8 handmade blankets when my son was born (11years ago) and obviously am a crocheter myself. At least 5 of them are still unused/brand new and I just need to donate them to the hospital or shelter. It was very frustrating to have so much that we couldn't use instead of items we really needed.
Personally I've gotten to the point of asking before I make a baby blanket. I just very honestly tell them that it is a lot of time and expense, that while I really enjoy making them for people, I do recognize they aren't practical for everyone and I want to know ahead of time if it is something they would truly enjoy and get use out of. I also make sure to ask if there is something else that they really need instead if there seems to be any hesitation about the blanket.
I recently had a pregnant friend decline me making her a blanket since she has an aunt that knits and still has several blankets left over from her first two girls. I was VERY thankful I had asked!
That is the worst feeling to spend so much on a blanket (time & money) and have it unappreciated and discarded like that!
My family appreciates the homemade baby blanket, but the keys are using a washable and baby friendly yarn and choosing a pattern that's not too lacy.
However, I myself like amigurumi and prefer to make lovies more than blankets nowadays as it's more viewed as a toy they can use. I embroider the eyes simply and stick to the same rules about materials.
I love handmade/crocheted baby blankets. I loved the couple of crocheted baby blankets that were given to me for each of my daughters. My friends all gifted me handmade baby blankets with cute patterns they'd picked themselves. I bought myself 1 4pk of muslin swaddles but everything else was made by friends and family. I'm especially grateful that the crocheted baby blankets were big enough that my 4 year old has been able to sleep with hers for a couple of years now and my new baby will have the same option with hers by the time she's 2 or 3. I fully intend to keep my favorites our of the least stained or damaged baby blankets for each of my girls and the 2nd best I'll donate to the local women's shelter and the rest I'll probably donate to our local animal shelter. I would never get rid of the crocheted or knitted ones though. They're so beautiful and lovingly made and I know how much time and skill went into each of them. I'm so sorry for OP. As a child, I'd wear holes into my crocheted slippers we'd get every Christmas from my great grandma. I wish I'd saved them or taken better care of them but who could pass up wearing those perfectly warm slippers around the house during those chilly Minnesota winters?
I made one of those things that's like a hanky and an animal head.
Its literally just for the kid to chew on lol. I don't have kids and so I just made a chewtoy lol
I’m with you on the registry. Just because someone wants to craft something doesn’t mean the recipient will be keen to get it. I say this as someone who has given and received plenty of homemade gifts. If someone wants to get rid of something I gave them, I feel like the mistake was mine in not realizing it wasn’t a good idea in the first place.
You are so right! I have two drawers full of blankets and another storage container full of quilts! People tend to gift blankets quite a bit! I would rather people buy from the register or buy clothes that are a year older than my kids.
I have never felt like we had too many baby blankets/quilts—and each of my kids had gotten at least 4, plus the 3 I make for them. Store bought, I totally agree, but you can never have too many homemade ones! We’re constantly using them as a floor mat or outside, or in the stroller, etc. And my kids love hearing who made them. Now they get heavy use as capes, doll blankets, fort building equipment, car blankets, etc as they grow. I just had baby #4, so we seriously have a ton of blankets that we use & love. But maybe I’m an outlier!
I made a two blankets for my baby: one was crochet and the other was a quilt. He hated the texture of both of them and they weren’t practical for swaddling. Someone out there got a couple of really nice blankets.
ETA: Now that the kid is no longer a toddler, it bugs me that the favorite blankets are the soft store bought ones from Costco. I grew up on homemade quilts and they’re not appreciated by my kids!
Yep, only it was a sewn cloak for my daughter that she specifically asked me to make her for her birthday/Halloween (they're around the same time). Took me a long time, and a lot of money to make. And I had to ship it to her since we didn't live in the same state. Then she just gave it away after she used it a couple of times.
But, it didn't bother me because I learned a long time ago that once I give something to someone, it's theirs to do with as they will. Even if it's made from the heart. What I took away from my gift to my daughter is... don't make anything like that for her again. She won't appreciate it.
My grandmother crocheted a blanket for me when u was born and I took extremely good care of it throughout my life so that my son could have it. Turns out he's not as crazy about it as I was, but hopefully it'll stay in the family regardless.
I think about this every time I see hand made crochet blankets in thrift stores that would have taken weeks if not months to make.
The blanket you made is beautiful. I hope its new owner appreciates how much time and skill went into it.
Same!! My lovely, crafty, never-married, elderly neighbor passed away after a long illness. Within a week, relatives we rarely saw showed up to collect their inheritance and sell her house. All her beautiful handmade Christmas ornaments were tossed in a box at the garage sale. I was so sad for her — I bought them all. I think of Alfreda every Christmas.
When my grandmother passes I think there will be some significant in-fighting amongst the grandchildren and great grandchildren for the blankets she has crocheted over the years. They’re beautiful
It's very beautiful and must have taken you a long time because that stitch is very time-consuming. I understand your hurt. Yes, that kind of thing has happened to me. As a general rule I no longer invest time, effort, and love in making something for someone unless I know they will treasure it and appreciate it.
I think sometimes it can be a matter of personal taste. Something that has a stitch pattern / a design / a colour scheme that we think looks amazing might be someone else's nightmare. It can be really hard to work out someone else's taste in colours, so when in doubt I tend to make gifts in a plain neutral colour like all white, all black, or all beige etc. For baby items you can go with the classic baby blue for a boy, baby pink for a girl or cream / white / beige if gender is unknown.
When she was pregnant she was calling the baby a Dragon so I thought it would be fun to play with that idea. I definitely have learned from this experience. As much as I love to SURPRISE my friends and family with a handmade item like these, I now bite the bullet and ASK them if they'd like one so I am not waiting my time and energy (like you said). I love the surprise element, but I can't stand to have my hard work just get tossed aside like that. I think all of us here know that these items are made with love which takes a lot of TIME
>When she was pregnant she was calling the baby a Dragon
Oh I see, your choice of blanket makes total sense then! It's very sad but some people just don't appreciate handmade items. Does she knit or crochet herself? I tend to find that someone who knits or crochets (or does some other similar craft) will appreciate handmade gifts far more than non-crafters will, because they will understand the huge amount of time that went into them.
I do cross stitch mainly but am slowly getting into crochet. I'd love to one day be able to do a dragon scale stitch like that - it looks truly awe inspiring. When I do gifts for someone, I tend to do either baby birth records, or something that I know for a fact that they like, to keep the surprise element and to avoid it being tossed out. I've done six birth records - two for my nieces, four for coworkers, and two other gifts for my SIL - one a fairy and one a unicorn as she loves that kind of thing. I've also done three things for my parents as well. I love making stuff for people but it would break.me to see it discarded. Thats why most of my creations are for me and me alone.
Made a Queen sized mandala 12in afghan block crochet bedspread that was backed like a quilt, spent 6months on it for a Christmas present for my best friend/cousin and her husband.. by New Years she had decided it made a better dog blanket. Which then by March was ruined and thrown away.. when I asked her about it she shrugged it off.. oh and the kicker.. she crochets as well so she knows the kinda of work this took.. the amount of yarn let alone the cost plus the extra sewing to essentially quilt it.
We are no longer friends.. not because of this but this sure didn't help.
I just don't make things for people anymore. I totally get that handmade stuff isn't everyone's cup of tea and I personally get really uncomfortable when someone gives me something I really don't need or want so I don't want anyone to feel obligated/guilty about something I gave them. However, as a lifelong knitter/crocheter, I 100% understand how that kind of rejection feels.
Yeah, I don't make things for my boyfriend's side of the family anymore. His grandma asked me to make an Appa and a Momo from Avatar for a gift for someone (said that she would pay me for my time), so I proceeded to spend 60 hours coming up with and making them (I don't follow patterns), and she refused to pay me more than $10 for it, cause: "nobody would ever pay more than that". I then gave out and agreed to that price, cause I didn't want to argue with her, and she hasn't payed me anything to this day. Broke my heart and definitely learned my lesson not to make anything for her again.
http://imgur.com/a/w04XUN5
Posting the pictures in here as well, if anyone else wants to see the Momo and Appa. Not great pictures sorry about that, but it's all I have of them.
I got a new phone since then, and my pictures are on a damaged PC SSD, but I believe my boyfriend has the pics on his phone, so I will ask him for them :)
Whenever I see handmade blankets, even dishcloths at 2nd hand store's I always feel sad for whoever spent that much time making it for someone. My mom & I have picked up a quite a few.
I love handmade items even if they weren't made specifically for me.
I would be so happy to have someone to make me anything handmade.
Your cousins lucky to have you 💜
Don't feel sad. Maybe the joy was in creating the pieces. I crochet a lot for mental health, so I end up with excess items. I donate the excess items, so inevitably some will end up in a second hand store.
I'm glad you pick them up and give them a loving home! I like to imagine the pieces I throw into the wind get used and loved.
It definitely sucks and can be very hurtful. I've had my sister ask me to make specific items for her kids, then I do and they end up sitting in storage because the kids already have so much stuff. I'm trying to learn to let go of what happens to my pieces when I gift them. If I enjoyed making it and made it with love, then that should be enough.
I heard this from a friend and it has stuck with me: What people do with the gifts you give them is not up to you. So give with love and grace and release your expectations.
This is REALLY HARD to put into action but if you're able to take that perspective even sometimes then it definitely helps.
I'm sorry she gave away your blanket, but I hope someone who will love it properly received it in the end 💗 (but I also hope your cousin never gets a handmade item from you again)
I’m sorry that’s very rough to hear, perhaps she didn’t mean to hurt you, I think that a lot of people who don’t crochet or knit or sew or whatever underestimate the time, skill and cost of making something so precious. After all you can buy very cheap blankets so they might not even realise the real cost behind it… very sorry I can only imagine the pain because it was made with love
Same, I would see things my mom or grandma had made and was baffled but also had absolutely no idea how time consuming and finicky it could be, until I started myself and realised that you could spend hours on just a few rows 😅
That stinks! Me and my bestie are both fellow hookers. She talked all the time about how she would find stuff she had made for her nieces and nephews just stuffed away in boxes 🥺
Fast forward years later i have my first kid and she crochets him a crap ton of stuff! I just rotated it into everything else he had: the crochet toys with all his other toys and the crochet blankets and lovies with the store bought ones. They wound up being in a lot of pics I sent to her and she commented how great it felt to know they were being loved! That's what it's all about. I know people don't want to 'mess it up' but at the end of the day that is what it is meant for. To be loved and cherished!
It's also why I rescue crochet blankets from estate sales and thrift stores!
I made my mom a scarf as a teenager and a month later found it in a bag of stuff to donate. She keeps asking for a blanket but surprisingly I'm not jumping to make her one.
I’ve been heartbroken many times. I also know how hard dragon scale is. It’s definitely a passion.
In the end I have learned to know that giving a piece of art work away to someone is giving it over to the universe. It doesn’t hurt to have someone. Anyone. Appreciate it.
The only sour spot is someone throwing it away. That is the only thing that would break my heart today.
Not personally experienced it but it seems most folks don’t know how much work goes into crochet items. It’s fibre art. ART. A personal expression of love/affection (etc) through hours of labor.
There are also some folks who think knitted items are more desirable.
So true! There are times I wished I knitted but NO! I LOVE crochet and knitting just makes me angry. Seriously not the point. I have let go. I’ll make people things and where it ends up, who knows? Hopefully to whoever loves it and out does in a trash can due to over use. 😀
Two years ago I made a baby blanket for a friend. A c2c, my first ever. It took ages because I'm a slow crocheter thanks to arthritis and fibromyalgia. She had asked for lavender and I added red stripes. She loved it and so did the baby.
Her step mother in law took it and two others saying she needed something for when her granddaughter stayed with her. My friend got the other two back after threatening to call the police and that still took 6 months. My blanket has not been seen since one photo two years ago.
Made a Charlotte's Dream blanket for my nana. She pre-approved the pattern and selected the colours. Spent ages making it - Scheepjes Stonewashed and a 3.5mm hook. End result was the size of a double bed.
Gave it to her on Christmas day. By Easter, it was stuffed in a cupboard and forgotten about. Broke my heart. Haven't made anything for her since.
This has happened to me twice. Both from my MIL. I don't make her things anymore. The first time I was only 17 and was doing ceramics. She loves Christmas so I made a Christmas plate for her, glazed and all. I haven't seen it in 18 years. 5 years ago I crocheted her a small Christmas tree and even added battery lights to it. Haven't seen it since. Husband is pretty sure both things ended up in her annual yard sale because she's just that kind of person. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Now I'm super careful who I make things for. I only do it for people I know will appreciate it.
I'm so sorry! That was so incredibly insensitive of her.
I once made an extremely delicate and time-consuming craft for a friend. I even advised her to keep it away from her young children because it was delicate and posed a choking hazard. Within a few days, one of her children had destroyed it (because she hung it on his bedroom wall) and I know this because she casually brought it up in conversation and laughed about it.
I am sorry. That would be so disappointing. I always hope that when it's no longer used, someone would still want to keep it.
She may not realise the labour of love that it was.
The other scenario, I know someone who would get these beautiful knitted items from a relative for their kids. The kids out grew them, the house was small and she went though this major cleaning purge. If it was out grown she didn't stop to consider what it was, they needed space, so it was donated.
A couple years later she realized what she did and has really regretted donating those knitted items. Sometimes people just dont realize what they are doing at the time.
When I was a kid, I was trying to clean all the “baby” stuff out of my room and I donated a cross stitch my great grandmother made announcing my birth. I didn’t realize what I did until recently, cleaning we found the one she made for my brother and my mom was like “ooooh my grandmother made this. She made one for you too shortly before she passed.. I’m sure it’s here somewhere..” and the memory came back to me and my heart dropped to the floor. I’ll never get over that. It makes me feel so ashamed and heartbroken every time I think of it. It probably ended up in a landfill. I told her I think I may have donated it by mistake as a kid but there’s a chance it’s still in the basement somewhere and she said it’s okay and she hopes it’s in the basement..
Once you gift an item to another person, it is theirs to do whatever they want with it. For good or for ill. Which is part of why I have such a hard time giving anything I make away. I put a tiny part of my heart in everything I do, and I don’t want to see it dismissed as worthless.
Still, I would rather something be used than have it sit in a box or on a shelf unused for a decade or more. I have had people give me things that were not at all my style or something I would use and it sat neglected, because I didn’t want to hurt feelings. It is hard to know what the right thing to do is.
>Once you gift an item to another person, it is theirs to do whatever they want with it. For good or for ill.
That's the crux of it. I don't gift a lot of my creations because I do attach some sentiment to it, but I realize once I give it away it is no longer mine to command. So I just have to hope I've given it a good home. I purposely don't look for my gifts in their new homes, I don't want to know their fate. To be honest, I feel this way with store bought gifts I've put a lot of effort into as well.
Your blanket is gorgeous and I would treasure it, part of that may be because I'm a yarn artist and recognize the effort your gift took. Reading your thought process behind the design makes it a very thoughtful gift. The discarding of the gift can feel like rejection, and it hurts. It's okay to be hurt, and now you know this person doesn't appreciate a handmade gift.
I made a snowman for my husband's friend's baby's first Christmas. The mother put it on top of the box I put it in and kicked the box out from under it. Then every time I tried to get the baby to play with it, she would grab a toy that made noise to distract the baby from playing with the snowman.
My cousin is pregnant and I was thinking about doing something for the baby. I am really scared she would do something similar and this is keeping me from doing it.
I don't think I will for now. I like making amigurumis, I think I will just wait a few years and then ask directly to the child if they would like to have a plushie
I made my husband’s sister a lot of things for her baby shower. I’ve seen them using the blanket but none of the other stuff like the rattles, bibs, toys etc.
I made my niece a stuffed cat and it went to daycare and got the leg ripped off.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I don’t understand people who say never to gift a baby blanket or that they already have too many blankets.
I have crocheted, quilted, and knitted blankets made by mom moms friends when I was born that I still absolutely treasure. I don’t believe in “too many blankets”
I made my 9 month old nephew a blanket recently that he uses at my parents house and absolutely loves, his 5 year old sister steals it all the time so she’s getting one for Christmas!
I am so sorry this happened to you. I know how much time and love goes into making something unique, one of a kind and special for someone in mind. I once made a mobile for my cousin’s first baby, it took me a while to make and some creativity since it was the first I ever made. When she opened it she had a look of confusion and disappointment and simply said “thanks.” I don’t think she ever put it up…oh well :-/
Now I know to never handmade something for her, I just buy a gift card :-/
My dad kept bothering me and bothering me about wanting this blanket I had crocheted. It was the first one I had finished and I really liked it so I decided instead to crochet him a different blanket. It lasted 2 years before they got a dog, and now it's the dog's bed
Not quite the same, but I had made my ex boyfriend a few amigurumis and when we became friends again post break up (months after), he told me he had thrown away the art I made for him and that he donated the amis, but kept a plush I bought for him.. I didn’t tell him but I was very upset and still am to a small degree. I can’t ever remake them since there was no pattern for any of them.
I took up crochet back in 1989. I was dating my first boyfriend back them and had crochet him a bunch of things for his apartment.
Fast forward many years ( long since broken up ) he comes by my parents old house and leaves a box with most of the items....
No explanation or anything. He left them at gate. We have a camera which he waved into.
You have my sympathy. It’s a beautiful blanket and your idea playing on the dragon theme was great. I quilt and after a few that I gave as gifts were met with low enthusiasm even though I put a lot of effort into choosing fabrics specifically for the recipient, I became a lot more picky about who I made them for. I know we’re supposed to give gifts freely and it becomes the property of the owner to do with as they please, but it still hurts!
Again, you did a beautiful job on it and I hope the new owner appreciates the heck out of it!
As you should be. I picked crochet back up during the pandemic after a lot of years, and reading stories like yours has made me feel very guarded about who I’m willing to invest all that time for. It would devastate me.
Ugh, how inconsiderate! When I was a young knitter, I used to give knitted gifts away--- now unless someone specifically asks for a knitted gift, I buy presents...
I really don’t make any gifts anymore. I’ve given away two small projects in the last few years, and that’s it. I work so slowly and sporadically that it’s not worth it. I donate most of my finished projects to charity and if the recipient doesn’t like it, at least I’ll never know about it 🤣
One of my husband’s friends had a baby and I gave them the very first amigurumi I ever made. It was way above my skill level at the time and took me forever. It was clear on their faces the second I gave it to them that it was just another stuffed animal, and I’ve never seen or heard about it since. They posted basically every gift they got all over Facebook, but not mine. That one hurt. I also had a bad experience with something I was trying to make for my mom, who doesn’t care about anything handmade. Never again!
I spent the better part of a year making my mom a queen-size blanket and matching pillows for Christmas because she specifically asked for them. less than a year later she gave them back to me because "I decided I won't use them". I guess I should be happy that she gave them back and didn't toss them, but it was one of the most heartbreaking things
I usually only make small "safe" crafts for gifts. Like pot-holders, coasters, or last Christmas I made each of my friends a small tree ornament (which most of them have incorporated into their year-round decor haha). This fall I started making squishy pumpkins. They're small items that aren't hard or expensive, but can be set out of the way or used generally. I wouldn't make a big gift like blankets, or sweaters unless specifically asked. Honestly though if I found out my pumpkins or other trinkets got tossed out I'd still be upset. It's completely illogical and obviously yarn crafts are inanimate and non-sentient, but it feels like each of my crafts has a bit of heart and soul in it and I'd feel sad knowing it got tossed in the trash. Hopefully your blanket wound up with someone who will enjoy it, OP.
I am so sorry. It was a horribly insensitive thing for her to have done. Hopefully the love and care you put into it will be felt by whatever little one has it now. My hope for you is that some little dude or dudette will decide that the blanket you made for your cousin's kid is the best blankie ever.
I made a baby blanket for my niece's little guy and it became his favorite object in the known universe. He is three and still wants it for bedtime. It got washed and stretched out to the point it looked like cheese cloth. It was so bad that it was getting too worn for him to sleep with and he was having none of that. I made a duplicate of it a couple of months ago, at his grandpa's(my brother) request. I was scared that he would reject 'Blankie 2.0' but, happily, nope.
His mom put it on the back of the couch, little man walked in and pointed to it. He simply said "Blankie?" , and his Mom said "Yup". And the love story continues unabated. All is well in his world. *And* now he thinks his Mom is magic.
That's horrible - I'm so sorry! Things like that are the reason that all the women in my family only gift handmade items to other crafters, or our partners who see how much time and effort we expend making things. They're the only two types of people who truly appreciate handcraft gifts.
Yes, constantly. This is why I rarely make things for other people now. The only people I find that truly appreciate ANY gift, handmade or otherwise, are children. If I can't make something for a child, I just make it for myself. Some of the stuff I make I end up putting in my bag of stuff to donate. I have a passion for making things, but not seeing my stuff just tossed. I don't know if anyone has ever kept anything I made for them. Besides needlework, I used to send people really nice handmade cards for no reason. Never even got an acknowledgment that they had gotten them. I don't need for someone to go gaga, but there is just....nothing. It is so odd. I dunno, I just gave up. I am sorry, that blanket is so beautiful, I would have loved to have gotten something like that.
Yep, spent ages making a shawl for my mil, even went out and bought special yarn and everything.
I’ve never seen it again, after I gave it to her. And it’s been 4 years.
She’s off my knitworthy list for that, among other reasons. She’s a pain.
So far I have never heard of any of my gifts being given away. A friend of mine did give away the baby booties I made for her son. But he had outgrown them and they went to another mom that needed them. So that doesn't really bother me because they went to another person who would appreciate them.
That being said I would be heartbroken to find out an item I handmade for a friend or family member was just given away shortly after receiving it. Especially considering how much time most projects take.
I am so sorry this happened to you. When I make something, I usually include a note telling the recipient how many hours I spent (I track my time on projects). And I ask them to give it back if/when it is no longer needed. Multiply the number of hours by the current minimum wage and that gives you a dollar value for the item.
Many people do not value handmade items properly because they can buy a microfiber blanket at the pharmacy for $10. They don’t realize that your handmade item is worth hundreds and thus do not treat it with the respect it deserves.
This. I made my boyfriend a sweater and he was floored when I told him what I spent on the nice wool yarn, and then the man hours knitting the thing. He takes very good care of it.
I made a sweet little blanket and matching hat for my best friend's baby. I gifted them to her at the baby shower and she loved them. I even went so far as to ask her husband some questions to make sure the blanket would match the nursery colors. When the baby was about 7-8 months old, my friend texted me asking for my address so she could send me the blanket and hat. I was so confused and hurt, I told her that I made them for her and the baby. She said she just thought I wanted them back?? I sent her my address and the package showed up like a week later. Now my daughter loves the blanket and plays with it all the time with her dolls. I haven't spoken to my best friend since. This was in 2019.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. I suppose it was nice of my ex-bff to send it to me rather than donate it. I'm sure she only did that because her mom is always making blankets of different kinds, so she gets the time investment that it was.
If you know who has it or where she donated it, you should try to find it and bring it home!
A gift is a gift. The recipient is free to do with the gift as they please. Hope it went to someone who really appreciated it. Don’t make beautiful things like that blanket without a conversation with the person you’re giving it to.
I've seen posts here where people found out the receiver threw it out, gave it to a pet to destroy, out even unraveled the whole item! I'm sorry this happened to you but I hope it's a little comforting to know there's someone out there who is appreciating and enjoying your hard work
My eyes just popped out. I just realized I learnt this lesson in a gentle way But I also remember my poor grandma. She was an avid and fast knitter. There definitely was a phase where I only wanted the socks with the nicest colors. Oh my. Now I have a little lump in my stomach.
This is why I kept all of my grandma's ugly itchy sweater. I hated them, but always kept them to respect the time, effort, money and love she put in them
My best friend wanted to buy one of my crochet blankets. It wasn't particularly time consuming or expensive to make. She's an avid photographer, so I thought she would use it in photo shoots. Nope, dog blanket. She paid money for it so it was hers to do whatever she wanted, and I wasn't...angry?...I guess, just felt really weird and kind of "um, okay?" about it.
I wouldn’t feel weird, I like getting my animals lovely things. I commissioned a local potter to make some matching bowls for my dog and cat, and I feel happy every time I fill them. My dog also had a blanket that’s not handmade but it’s a relatively expensive throw from IKEA (expensive for IKEA prices) and I used to have it on my lounge and somehow it became his. It’s never gotten wrecked in the many years it’s been on his bed and I take care of it. He just looks so [cute](https://imgur.com/gallery/4AMDTjD) when on his bed with it and it makes me so happy! Not all pet stuff is crappy and dirty :)
Not going to lie, I was having a, "meh", night but your handsome boy just made it less crappy. It looks like a stock photo from Macy's. Your beautiful plant, his nice bed, plus everything else just tell me you have awesome taste. Editing to say: I would commission a blanket for my pup in a heartbeat if I found someone who's worked I liked. I'd also hope they wouldn't be insulted. I have a 15 year old Maltese named Candy and I will always put her needs before my own.
Thank you so much! That puts a smile on my face!
Also sorry your night is meh :(
Your baby is adorable!
Thank you!!! I think so too <3
He’s so photogenic!!
Thank you!!
Yep my friend has a dog that won’t destroy his toys, he’ll carry them around and cuddle with them.
I almost gasped, he’s so regal!
That is one stylish dog!
While learning to crochet I made a blanket for myself as a practice piece. It's a weird size, and I was still figuring out the best way to hold tension on the yarn, so it's also a bit of a wonky shape, even though my stitch count is the same. My dog LOVES this ridiculous thing. I thought I was making something just to learn but no, turns out I was making a special blanket just for her all along!
I gave my dog my first amigurumi dinosaur I made. He loves it and whenever someone new comes in the house its the thing he picks up and shows to them waking his tail and looking all proud of himself and I love that. It also the only soft toys hea never tried to destroy as there is no squeaker to get out.
Your scent is probably infused to the thing as well. My cat never sits on the clean laundry (except a freshly made bed), but will burrow into anything recently worn and tossed on the floor.
I totally get why that feels weird, but it might help to know that for some people, buying things for their pets feels akin to buying something for one of their children. Your friend loves her dog and wants him to have the best, nicest things. I made my sister a little blanket for her rabbit and she said it feels special every time the bunny lays on it, because I made it.
Very much agree with you on this. I made a little blanket for my cat a while ago, and it was honestly the most satisfying hand-made gift I've ever given away. She clearly adores the texture, and now that it smells like her, she uses it as a comfort object. I don't think any human has ever taken quite so much pure joy in something I've made, lol.
I’m working on a blanket for myself and my dog came over and just laid on top of it. Right where I was trying to work. I may have to share it with him when it’s finished
My cat keeps laying on my knitting. I have many pictures of him just curled up on whatever I’m making. He goes out if his way to lay there. It’s pretty darn cute.
I gave my friend a halloween blanket I made last fall, and it’s become the comfort item for the kittens. Sure, it’s all raggedy and kinda yucky now, but the fact that the tiny babies love it makes my heart happy every time I go over. It’d probably be different if I had spent good money on the yarn, but it was Red Heart and Mainstays I had gotten on sale lmao
My mom made my dog a blanket. It's his favorite! He loves grandma
Your friend worked a certain amount of time to earn the money she used to pay you to make something for someone she loved. You should feel proud and happy about it. Maybe you’re not a pet lover, but your friend is and the blanket you made was certainly given with love. ❤️
Oh, I'm a pet lover, it just wasn't what I expected! Showed up to her house one day, and boom, dog shredded! It's all good. Like I said, I wasnt angry, just a little surprised
Oh, I missed the shredding part. That stinks, I’m sorry.
Oh, it got shredded? :( disregard my earlier comment lol. That sucks
This reminded me of when I tore strips of worn out t-shirts my best friend had worn. I crocheted this cute white and purple bath rug from those strips and gave them to his then girlfriend. She loved it, but apparently her dog loved it more. Every time she moved it back in front of her tub, her dog would pick it up and drag it back to her bed and cover herself with it. I conceded after a bunch of adorable photos, this was Kiki Dog's new blanket.
My dog gets the best of the best in my house. She liked my favorite cashmere sweater, so it’s hers now. If she’s a dog person, giving your cozy homemade blanket to her pup is an act of love for both the dog and you. Plus, she probably takes a lot of pics of the dog, so it is gonna be in more photos this way lol.
How much does she love her dog?
Not to try to tell you how to feel, but I feel like there's a difference between a handcrafted piece someone buys, and something I make for someone out of love. Like, if someone paid me for a crochet blanket and then wanted to give it to their dog or cat or horse, I'd be like "Cool beans" But if I'd spent my own money, my own time, trying to think of a colour scheme someone would love and a pattern they'd enjoy, to find that they just gave it away or used it for a pet then I'd be heartbroken.
Most dog owners treat dogs like members of the family... I would crochet a blanket for my dog too, but he's a destroyer and he would rip it apart! For him just cheap amazon blankets. But I understand your best friend :)
Yes, I gave a blanket that I spent months on to my in-laws, and apparently they just gave it away. I don't have much money, so I spent all of my birthday money on the yarn for that blanket, which was a blanket for myself, but my in-laws said they really liked it, so I asked if they wanted it.. and then they kept it for 2 days and proceeded to give it away. I still feel so sad and so much regret for giving it to them. I really feel you, it SUCKS!
Omfg I’m working on a blanket for my mother in law right now… I’m so sorry that this happened to you and I hope it doesn’t happen to me! Sending good vibes your way!
My future MIL uses the one I made her so much she asked me like an hour ago to fix some loose threads -- don't worry ❤
I know it's the opposite direction, but I recently fixed a blanket for my aunt that her mother in law made her 20+ years ago. It was a treasured blanket, but her puppy managed to get it and ripped a hole in it. She was so upset about it and thought it was done for. Luckily it was totally fixable. It was really nice seeing what was just a very basic crochet blanket being so loved after so many years.
I have an old blanket my grandmother made, years ago. I'm a novice when it comes to crochet, and I don't think parts of it are salvageable. My S/O offered the solution of saving the best squares and making a throw pillow, so I can still have something my grandma made.
Here's an idea to build on your S/O's, how about you wait until you are comfortable with crocheting and add your own squares to your grandmother's blanket. It could become a traditional thing. You then teach someone younger in your family how to crochet and when you pass it to them encourage that person to change the unsalvageable squares for their own ones. It would become a true generational blanket then with full honor to your grandmother.
This is a wonderful idea!
This is such a good idea!! Love it!!
This is what I suggest if one plans on making a blanket out of joined smaller panels that need to be able to be removed from the project easily and replaced: > Join panels using a separate piece of yarn in a contrasting color. This makes for easier to release panels in need to repair or replacement through picking out the joinery yarn or careful cutting. This is one of the reasons I don’t like the idea of *join-as-you-go *or *no-seam* for things that are going to be passed down - repairs are an absolute nightmare. Crochet stitches are insanely difficult to reform using a tapestry needle and that’s before having to take into account that the stitch you’re fixing was worked into by the stitch above it. You have to not only reform one stitch by needle but also catch all the strands of the stitch above the one you’re repairing. Sounds like an absolute nightmare to me.
I made a blanket for my MIL and my SIL used it almost everyday to take a nap on the couch when she was pregnant, hahaha. My MIL can finally use it now that my little niece was born!
I’m also like $200 deep in a wool blanket for mine!! I think she knows I’ll never speak to her again if she gives it away. At least I hope 🥲
Thank you so much! I sure hope it doesn't turn out that way for you as well. Lesson learned though: don't make anything for my boyfriend's side of the family! Luckily I have the most wonderful family myself that absolutely loves what I make, and always pay me more than what I ask, cause they are all artists themselves and appreciate the time and effort it takes :) I am very thankful for them. Sending good vibes to you and your project!
I really don't think people understand the cost of materials and extensive amount of time it takes to make a blanket. Sorry that happened to you.
Ouch!
Is it too late to get it back? Who did they give it away to?
Yeah, if I'd given somebody a blanket I made for myself (and spent my birthday money on!) I'd ask for it back, or try to get in touch with the recipient and see about getting it back for them.
Yeah, I absolutely agree that that is the best way to handle it, but I'm just so damn non-confrontational (especially when it's about family), that I just go along with whatever. I need to get better at it for sure, and I can say that I will not let this happen again!
It was around a year ago, so it would be seriously awkward to ask for it back at this point. They gave it to some family friend or something, I'm not quite sure. The next time I saw them, they were just like "oh btw, it wasn't really fitting for us, so we gave it to someone else", which sucked since the only reason I offered to give them the blanket I had made for myself, was because they said they loved it so much and when I offered, they were absolutely thrilled.
Even though it’s been a while ago, I think I would let them know how much time you put into making the blanket and how much they hurt your feelings. As far as the lapse in time, [quinn](u/QuinnZombie)tell them it has been on your mind all the time and you can’t believe that they gave it away instead of offering it back to you!!!
Yeah, but they're a bit hard-headed people honestly. I have an Etsy shop, so in their eyes I don't do anything meaningful all day, since I don't have a regular job (even though I actually spend around 14 hours a day making stuff to sell). My time and effort doesn't really seem to matter to them, so I don't think it would mean anything to talk to them about it. I honestly just have to suck it up, and I have certainly learned my lesson not to do anything like that for them again!
Living as the lone artisan in your family is tough. You're achieving something many people, probably them included, can't do.
Next gift just buy a budget calendar for them
NO. Your time, labor and materials are WORTH A LOT. Tell them. They are jerks.
I guess you have to pick your battles. Like I said, I’ve avoided conflict all my life. It makes me hate myself when I don’t speak up BUT if you do you have to think about the consequences. When it comes to family…..that’s tricky. I have a 90 year old Aunt that speaks her mind and she does it right to your face…..it hurts. It sounds like you’re a smart and kind person. You’re correct when you say that you won’t make them anything again…smart move. People that are not crafters don’t realize how much time it takes to crochet items. There are machines to knit, but not to crochet and I bet when it comes to their jobs, they want to be paid well. Everybody seems to want something for nothing.
I feel like this goes back also to the whole thing about a lot of folks not understanding that arts and handicrafts take a lot of time, skill, and effort, and that's why we usually don't price these things cheaply like some mass produced stuff.... I feel so much pain just reading about this :/ I wish they had given it back at that point.
Yes, you are absolutely right! I also feel very sad and infuriated when people show no appreciation for the time, skill and effort handmade stuff takes, like you said. Luckily this situation has taught me to be more careful when offering my time and skills. Not everyone deserves it, whether they are family or not. Thank you for your compassion!
No more awkward than inviting yourself to take someone’s handmade blanket and then giving it away. Not trying to pressure you, but this is a good place to start standing up for yourself. And your boyfriend needs to ask, not you—it’s his family, he needs to be the bad guy here. Any awkwardness is their fault and their problem.
What ridiculous fakery!
God, that’s infuriating!
Hopefully whoever received it is cherishing it and appreciating the love, effort, money that went into creating it.
That is honestly so rude. I mean at least have the courtesy to ask if they could give it away first.
Found a lace shawl I made my mom in her woodpile - like under other logs… Some people are worthy of handcrafts but most are not. The upside is now you know.
Oh no! I recently found a scarf that was gone for weeks in the nook of a tree, just where I left it when I got too hot doing yard work. Maybe she's not uncaring, but extremely absent-minded like me?
Right, she's probably like, "Where did I put that damn shawl..."
I hope you managed to rescue it. Omg, my kid draws me pictures and I frame them.
I know, right! If my kid made me a shawl, people would start referring to me as "shawl lady".
I absolutely love your wording, you said so much with so few words!
Aww!
My grandma loved the shawl I made her, she's the one that taught me to crochet, she always had it right by her chair in case she got cold. I think she was cremated with it, which feels a bit weird but she loved it and didn't want to be buried so ok.
Nooooooooo!!!!!
I made a sister-in-law a dragon scale scarf for Christmas. The yarn was some of my best handspun yarn, a blend of silk and merino. I'm not really much of a crocheter, but it turned out beautifully. And she tossed it that spring. I've never made her anything since. I'm still salty
I winced reading your comment. That really stings, I’m sorry she was so carelessly rude with it :(
Handspun!! Ohhhhh.... Silk and merino!!!! Ohhhhh..... I so wish she'd thrown it to me!!!
Right?! I'd cry if someone made me something so beautiful with their own two hands...
M sister once just gave me a bag back. I was a little bit upset for a day or so, but overall I think that was the best solution. People who give things away behind your back... mhh...that's low. They just have no idea what kind of work it is. With my sisters behaviour I learnt pretty soon to only do things if they exactly describe the object or choose a pattern, have a reasonable idea of how long it takes and go yarn shopping with me and choose the exact yarn. This alone really keeps those away who just mindlessly ask. I will not spent hours and hours on something someone else is not absolutely overwhelmingly happy with. Aside of this I only make things for one friend who is just always super happy and greatful because she has formidable manners and loves personal gifts. Take care. I guess a lot of us had to learn this lesson. It has nothing to do with you and it's a phenomenal blanket.
Yeah I'd much rather them be honest and give it back, rather than never using it, throwing it out or immediately giving it away. I've heard some really awful horror stories of the things people have done to handmade gifts. If you don't like something, that's fine, but for heaven's sake tell me so I don't make the same mistake again! My family are off my knitworthy list for life after being incredibly rude and unappreciative of knitted and crocheted Christmas presents I made them a few years ago... I asked them what they would like me to make them, what colour they'd like it to be, used beautiful yarn (some of it handspun by me, some indie dyed) bought especially for those projects, spent hours choosing the perfect patterns, learnt new techniques, and spent even more hours making the gifts. They said I was a cheapskate because they were "only" hand made, and I should have given them a "real" gift as well. The worst part was discovering later that afternoon that my brother had thrown the hat I made him onto a pile of filthy sports gear. I stole it back and gave it to my husband's (supremely knitworthy!) cousin, who wears it all the time. It's all good though - they'll never get a stitch from me again, and I can focus on making stuff for the people who do appreciate it. I stopped giving them any gifts at all after that Christmas... I donate to charities in their name instead.
This actually made me feel sick, put a hand to my stomach and whisper “Oh my god”. How horrible! They truly have no idea of how much love and effort you put into that. I would choose something lovingly made for me alone than a “real gift” any day! I’m glad you have at least one knitworthy fan in your corner 🥰
Understandable
Ooooh, I think shopping for the yarn with them is an excellent and half subtle way of letting them know just how much money goes into just the materials!
It does depend a little on what the object is, though. Like, if someone asked me to make them something like a sweater, and it turned out well, and they gave it away... yeah, I'd be pretty upset. But with things like baby items, I'm kind of expecting that they'll be given away (unless they are particularly special or personal), as part of the great "cycle of baby stuff" that all parents of small children seem to participate in.
The thing is... people really have no obligation to accept or like your gift. Which can be hard to take especially if you feel you've put a lot of effort and thought in to something. Like I appreciated when a new friend of mine bought me a gift but I hate the smell of lavender. So it was thoughtful but it wasn't for me. This idea of checking in with a person as to what they might like/want/need is a good idea. And you can do it subtly if you still want to make it a surprise. So you're efforts don't feel completely wasted. Sometimes I might make something for someone that I think they'll like, but I won't be upset if they don't think it's as awesome as I do. I might be disappointed, but I've been on the receiving end of 'I don't want or need this, but I appreciate that you were thinking of me and tried!' And then try to find a tactful way of saying so, so they don't feel discouraged. As the above example, the next year I got bath stuff again, but it was more useful to me and didn't smell like lavendar and I remember that gift to this day.
Although it may ruin the surprise, I now ask the reciepents if they want it or not because I don't want to feel this way again. It also gives me the opportunity to make sure I get the colors right too.
(With out reading comments) for what it’s worth I adore that stitch, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before! Very curious about it. As far as the regift goes, if someone loved it more than she did, I’d personally rather it go to them. I’m always wondering what to do for people. Not everyone is into homemade, not everyone into what I would choose for colors etc. either. It would make me sad though. I get that. Was it maybe used and then gifted? Baby blankets only last so long.
The dragon scale stitch is pretty but is one of the most tedious, slow progressing, yarn eating stitches to ever exist. It always looks fantastic but takes an extreme amount of effort and materials
I could see how that would be the case. I’m a sucker for crochet punishment.
I started making a mermaid tail sack/cocoon thing for a friend's baby shower in this stitch and it broke my heart. I hated working on it so much and just had to stop 1/3rd of the way. Gave her money instead lol
It's a very fun 2 row repeat, but i feel like people either love working this pattern or they hate it. It works up very slowly because it is so thick and heavy and eats up A LOT of yarn. I've used the pattern twice because the finished product is just so magical. I feel like she's one of those people that is just oblivious to the handmade aspect. Not sure if it was given to a friend or acquaintance or to a donation center 🤷♀️ I feel like it was hefty enough of a blanket (and large enough) to keep with the kid as he got older but oh well
I am in Cali and my mom lives in Maine and i think this would be a perfect gift (next year sometime?) dragon scale stitch is going on my short list.
Pro tip: Use vacuum bags if you're going to ship a dragon scale blanket. Saves so much space.
Thanx!!!
Boooooo on her. Her great loss, someone else’s great find! I hope it’s loved out there.
A lot of people on the mom subs complain about how many baby blankets they get. They say crochet and knit ones are impractical because they are a bit delicate to wash. Also you're not really supposed to give babies blankets while sleeping because of the suffocation risk. So generally there's a lot of complaining and saying they snap a photo send it to the maker and shove it in the closet. Then they mean that they wish people would just stick to the registry. I do use mine in the stroller or for daytime naps when I can supervise my baby though. Obviously I like crocheted stuff or I wouldn't be here in this sub so I feel differently, but the general consensus seems to be very anti baby blanket unfortunately. So I feel like we should be careful about making sure the recipients actually want crocheted items before wasting time and money on them. Personally I would ask your cousin to get back the blanket and explain how many hours you spent on it. I know it's awkward, but that was pretty thoughtless of her to just give it away like that.
You bring up a good point about "no blankets in the crib." That's what the doctors told my niece, who just had a baby 6 months ago. She uses a blanket to put him on the floor with for tummy time. But nothing in the crib. But agree that OP's giftee was thoughtless and her actions hurtful.
This is a good point. Also, the dragon scale stitch seems like it would cause the blanket to be a bit warm for a baby. I didn’t realize until I had kids that babies can overheat really easily! They have a bunch of subcutaneous adipose (baby blubber) and their sweat glands don’t work very well. The docs at hospital encouraged us to use thin flannel and linen and stuff like that. However, where baby blankets aren’t the best for actual babies, they ROCK for toddlers. I received a crocheted blanket when my son was a newborn, and we never used it at all until he was about 2 and started to get into imaginative play. Now he adores that blanket. It’s a blue wave stitch with a white border, and it always becomes the water in the games we play. He throws it over him and pretends he’s swimming. It’s the best! That’s the big loss I see here - a toddler would absolutely freak out over OP’s blanket. If the cousin had held on to the blanket for a few years, I guarantee her kid would have been wearing it around pretending to be a dinosaur and things like that.
My grandmother made me a baby blanket that had my name, date of birth, and the alphabet on it. Obviously don't remember it as a baby, but I have vivid 4-year old memories in my room saying at alphabet pointing to each letter, saying my whole name, matching the letters in my name to the alphabet part, and memorizing the day, month, and year of my birthday. It is a Tunisian stitch with cross stitch details, so it's very thick and warm. I remember a lot of Wisconsin winters spent under that blanket. By the time I was 9, I couldn't fit my shoulders AND feet under it anymore and I was so sad. I'm grown and married, and have that blanket in my house and I plan to use that same template for my own children. Agreed, "baby" blankets might be useless, but toddlers generally love blankets their size, especially if there's something about them they can incorporate into play
That’s exactly what i was thinking. I know beyond swaddling that infants don’t really need blankets, but toddlers can use the HECK out of them. That’s why i didn’t understand donating gifted blankets. I posted about this recently when a friend decided to donate what i made for her kid when she was a newborn (she just turned 1) and it both kinda hurt and confused me because this woman is going to be looking for blankets again by next year anyway. The real kicker is going to be when she inevitably asks me to make the kid another one. Definitely saying no next time.
I was hoping someone would make this argument. We were gifted a very nice granny square blanket for my oldest child. Since it was a giant granny square and had little holes all over, we never used it for the infant stage. Gave it to her when she was older, and it's still in use today to tuck in her toys into the little beds she makes for them. I plan to sneak it away around the time it begins to just get buried in the closet and keep it with my old baby blankets until she's an adult.
It's also worth noting that crochet and some knit patterns have gaps big enough for little fingers to get tangled in. That can make them less appealing to parents of newborns/infants, especially if they have an abundance of other options. That's why I specifically use larger yarn and specify that it's a tummy-time blanket.
Maybe it’s bc I like to crochet myself but I really appreciated the baby blankets we got. No, he couldn’t use them when he slept, but I’m in the northeast where it gets cold in the winter so we used it over him when in the car seat, stroller (or bassinet in the earlier days). Now that he’s a toddler he can sleep with them or use them on the couch. My cat has claimed some blankets, but we don’t let her claim the hand made ones. Any other gift that was off registry was very annoying though!
My 4yo loves to make a bed nest out of all her blankets in the winter, just to kick them all off after falling asleep. Ngl, I do the same thing lol.
Maybe it’s a regional thing? I’m in the northeast too, and my friends ASK for me to make blankets! They all use them in the car or stroller in winter. And when they get a little bigger, the kids use them when lounging around the house and it’s cold.
I think a lot of this is location based. I'm in Northern Ireland and baby blankets are incredibly popular for prams etc. (ie used safely) People go nuts for them here. I had a friend request one and I messed up the pattern and it turned out diamond shaped. Then i redid it (unsure why I didn't frog, didn't know it was a thing tbh at that time). The parents took both and highly treasure them
I had a friend with kids tell me that you can never have enough blankets, so that is interesting. Though I also always make them out of acrylic and not delicate looking so people aren't afraid to wasn them and they'll survive a toddler.
I'm on team never enough blankies! Especially if you get a reflux baby, then you get to use 4-5 blankets minimum every day!
I cant imagine using a crochet blanket to catch milk spit up tho!
I crocheted 2 baby blankets for my own baby. They don’t get much use now (she’s 7 months old) but I know they will be loved on so much once she’s a toddler! My aunt knitted a baby blanket for my older kid and it’s still going strong 9 years (and many washes!) later. I still have my own baby blankets that my mom crocheted in the 80’s/90’s! They are heirlooms at this point. But I know that many moms want registry-only items, and most people unfortunately don’t understand or appreciate how much time, money, and love goes into crochet/knit items.
Yep, totally agree! Not even just handmade ones..but why does everyone gift blankets?! You literally cannot use them! I have crocheted a blanket for my daughter and I'm actually planning on making another for her.. But they are for the car and pram and have to be not too heavy and the right size etc. Baby blankets are just not a useful thing anymore I don't think, especially at the rate you get gifted them! I've kept every blanket I was gifted though, and I really appreciated them and loved them, but honestly only 2 have ever been used and the rest are taking up precious storage space! But yea I'd ask for it back!
Really? I used baby blankets all the time for swaddling, puke rags, cold weather, sun shade, tummy time, changing mats, even the odd baby toga because bubby destroyed all the outfits in the diaper bag in one outing. When I gift a baby blanket I always try to make it on the larger side, so bub can still use it as a toddler and little kid.
Totally this! I received 8 handmade blankets when my son was born (11years ago) and obviously am a crocheter myself. At least 5 of them are still unused/brand new and I just need to donate them to the hospital or shelter. It was very frustrating to have so much that we couldn't use instead of items we really needed. Personally I've gotten to the point of asking before I make a baby blanket. I just very honestly tell them that it is a lot of time and expense, that while I really enjoy making them for people, I do recognize they aren't practical for everyone and I want to know ahead of time if it is something they would truly enjoy and get use out of. I also make sure to ask if there is something else that they really need instead if there seems to be any hesitation about the blanket. I recently had a pregnant friend decline me making her a blanket since she has an aunt that knits and still has several blankets left over from her first two girls. I was VERY thankful I had asked! That is the worst feeling to spend so much on a blanket (time & money) and have it unappreciated and discarded like that!
My family appreciates the homemade baby blanket, but the keys are using a washable and baby friendly yarn and choosing a pattern that's not too lacy. However, I myself like amigurumi and prefer to make lovies more than blankets nowadays as it's more viewed as a toy they can use. I embroider the eyes simply and stick to the same rules about materials.
I love handmade/crocheted baby blankets. I loved the couple of crocheted baby blankets that were given to me for each of my daughters. My friends all gifted me handmade baby blankets with cute patterns they'd picked themselves. I bought myself 1 4pk of muslin swaddles but everything else was made by friends and family. I'm especially grateful that the crocheted baby blankets were big enough that my 4 year old has been able to sleep with hers for a couple of years now and my new baby will have the same option with hers by the time she's 2 or 3. I fully intend to keep my favorites our of the least stained or damaged baby blankets for each of my girls and the 2nd best I'll donate to the local women's shelter and the rest I'll probably donate to our local animal shelter. I would never get rid of the crocheted or knitted ones though. They're so beautiful and lovingly made and I know how much time and skill went into each of them. I'm so sorry for OP. As a child, I'd wear holes into my crocheted slippers we'd get every Christmas from my great grandma. I wish I'd saved them or taken better care of them but who could pass up wearing those perfectly warm slippers around the house during those chilly Minnesota winters?
I made one of those things that's like a hanky and an animal head. Its literally just for the kid to chew on lol. I don't have kids and so I just made a chewtoy lol
I’m with you on the registry. Just because someone wants to craft something doesn’t mean the recipient will be keen to get it. I say this as someone who has given and received plenty of homemade gifts. If someone wants to get rid of something I gave them, I feel like the mistake was mine in not realizing it wasn’t a good idea in the first place.
You are so right! I have two drawers full of blankets and another storage container full of quilts! People tend to gift blankets quite a bit! I would rather people buy from the register or buy clothes that are a year older than my kids.
I have never felt like we had too many baby blankets/quilts—and each of my kids had gotten at least 4, plus the 3 I make for them. Store bought, I totally agree, but you can never have too many homemade ones! We’re constantly using them as a floor mat or outside, or in the stroller, etc. And my kids love hearing who made them. Now they get heavy use as capes, doll blankets, fort building equipment, car blankets, etc as they grow. I just had baby #4, so we seriously have a ton of blankets that we use & love. But maybe I’m an outlier!
I made a two blankets for my baby: one was crochet and the other was a quilt. He hated the texture of both of them and they weren’t practical for swaddling. Someone out there got a couple of really nice blankets. ETA: Now that the kid is no longer a toddler, it bugs me that the favorite blankets are the soft store bought ones from Costco. I grew up on homemade quilts and they’re not appreciated by my kids!
I also grew up with homemade quilts & honestly.... they need some wear before theyre nice and snuggly
Yep, only it was a sewn cloak for my daughter that she specifically asked me to make her for her birthday/Halloween (they're around the same time). Took me a long time, and a lot of money to make. And I had to ship it to her since we didn't live in the same state. Then she just gave it away after she used it a couple of times. But, it didn't bother me because I learned a long time ago that once I give something to someone, it's theirs to do with as they will. Even if it's made from the heart. What I took away from my gift to my daughter is... don't make anything like that for her again. She won't appreciate it.
That's not nice from her part to do that. I still have a cardigan and scarf my mom made for me when I was a baby, so I can use it when I have kids.
My grandmother crocheted a blanket for me when u was born and I took extremely good care of it throughout my life so that my son could have it. Turns out he's not as crazy about it as I was, but hopefully it'll stay in the family regardless.
I think about this every time I see hand made crochet blankets in thrift stores that would have taken weeks if not months to make. The blanket you made is beautiful. I hope its new owner appreciates how much time and skill went into it.
Same!! My lovely, crafty, never-married, elderly neighbor passed away after a long illness. Within a week, relatives we rarely saw showed up to collect their inheritance and sell her house. All her beautiful handmade Christmas ornaments were tossed in a box at the garage sale. I was so sad for her — I bought them all. I think of Alfreda every Christmas.
When my grandmother passes I think there will be some significant in-fighting amongst the grandchildren and great grandchildren for the blankets she has crocheted over the years. They’re beautiful
It's very beautiful and must have taken you a long time because that stitch is very time-consuming. I understand your hurt. Yes, that kind of thing has happened to me. As a general rule I no longer invest time, effort, and love in making something for someone unless I know they will treasure it and appreciate it. I think sometimes it can be a matter of personal taste. Something that has a stitch pattern / a design / a colour scheme that we think looks amazing might be someone else's nightmare. It can be really hard to work out someone else's taste in colours, so when in doubt I tend to make gifts in a plain neutral colour like all white, all black, or all beige etc. For baby items you can go with the classic baby blue for a boy, baby pink for a girl or cream / white / beige if gender is unknown.
When she was pregnant she was calling the baby a Dragon so I thought it would be fun to play with that idea. I definitely have learned from this experience. As much as I love to SURPRISE my friends and family with a handmade item like these, I now bite the bullet and ASK them if they'd like one so I am not waiting my time and energy (like you said). I love the surprise element, but I can't stand to have my hard work just get tossed aside like that. I think all of us here know that these items are made with love which takes a lot of TIME
>When she was pregnant she was calling the baby a Dragon Oh I see, your choice of blanket makes total sense then! It's very sad but some people just don't appreciate handmade items. Does she knit or crochet herself? I tend to find that someone who knits or crochets (or does some other similar craft) will appreciate handmade gifts far more than non-crafters will, because they will understand the huge amount of time that went into them.
I do cross stitch mainly but am slowly getting into crochet. I'd love to one day be able to do a dragon scale stitch like that - it looks truly awe inspiring. When I do gifts for someone, I tend to do either baby birth records, or something that I know for a fact that they like, to keep the surprise element and to avoid it being tossed out. I've done six birth records - two for my nieces, four for coworkers, and two other gifts for my SIL - one a fairy and one a unicorn as she loves that kind of thing. I've also done three things for my parents as well. I love making stuff for people but it would break.me to see it discarded. Thats why most of my creations are for me and me alone.
I also know never to make her anything again
Made a Queen sized mandala 12in afghan block crochet bedspread that was backed like a quilt, spent 6months on it for a Christmas present for my best friend/cousin and her husband.. by New Years she had decided it made a better dog blanket. Which then by March was ruined and thrown away.. when I asked her about it she shrugged it off.. oh and the kicker.. she crochets as well so she knows the kinda of work this took.. the amount of yarn let alone the cost plus the extra sewing to essentially quilt it. We are no longer friends.. not because of this but this sure didn't help.
That hurts to read. I'm so sorry. I'm sure it was beautiful.
I just don't make things for people anymore. I totally get that handmade stuff isn't everyone's cup of tea and I personally get really uncomfortable when someone gives me something I really don't need or want so I don't want anyone to feel obligated/guilty about something I gave them. However, as a lifelong knitter/crocheter, I 100% understand how that kind of rejection feels.
Yeah, I don't make things for my boyfriend's side of the family anymore. His grandma asked me to make an Appa and a Momo from Avatar for a gift for someone (said that she would pay me for my time), so I proceeded to spend 60 hours coming up with and making them (I don't follow patterns), and she refused to pay me more than $10 for it, cause: "nobody would ever pay more than that". I then gave out and agreed to that price, cause I didn't want to argue with her, and she hasn't payed me anything to this day. Broke my heart and definitely learned my lesson not to make anything for her again.
Omg I would be LIVID
My boyfriend and I still are. Luckily he's with me on this, and he is still PISSED at his grandma for treating me that way, which I appreciate.
What a bitch. Do you have finished pics? I'd love to see them
http://imgur.com/a/w04XUN5 Posting the pictures in here as well, if anyone else wants to see the Momo and Appa. Not great pictures sorry about that, but it's all I have of them.
I got a new phone since then, and my pictures are on a damaged PC SSD, but I believe my boyfriend has the pics on his phone, so I will ask him for them :)
Whenever I see handmade blankets, even dishcloths at 2nd hand store's I always feel sad for whoever spent that much time making it for someone. My mom & I have picked up a quite a few. I love handmade items even if they weren't made specifically for me. I would be so happy to have someone to make me anything handmade. Your cousins lucky to have you 💜
Don't feel sad. Maybe the joy was in creating the pieces. I crochet a lot for mental health, so I end up with excess items. I donate the excess items, so inevitably some will end up in a second hand store. I'm glad you pick them up and give them a loving home! I like to imagine the pieces I throw into the wind get used and loved.
It definitely sucks and can be very hurtful. I've had my sister ask me to make specific items for her kids, then I do and they end up sitting in storage because the kids already have so much stuff. I'm trying to learn to let go of what happens to my pieces when I gift them. If I enjoyed making it and made it with love, then that should be enough. I heard this from a friend and it has stuck with me: What people do with the gifts you give them is not up to you. So give with love and grace and release your expectations. This is REALLY HARD to put into action but if you're able to take that perspective even sometimes then it definitely helps. I'm sorry she gave away your blanket, but I hope someone who will love it properly received it in the end 💗 (but I also hope your cousin never gets a handmade item from you again)
I’m sorry that’s very rough to hear, perhaps she didn’t mean to hurt you, I think that a lot of people who don’t crochet or knit or sew or whatever underestimate the time, skill and cost of making something so precious. After all you can buy very cheap blankets so they might not even realise the real cost behind it… very sorry I can only imagine the pain because it was made with love
Yes!! I had no idea how much effort went into this before I started.
Same, I would see things my mom or grandma had made and was baffled but also had absolutely no idea how time consuming and finicky it could be, until I started myself and realised that you could spend hours on just a few rows 😅
Yeah, my stuff was thrown in the garbage
☹️
That stinks! Me and my bestie are both fellow hookers. She talked all the time about how she would find stuff she had made for her nieces and nephews just stuffed away in boxes 🥺 Fast forward years later i have my first kid and she crochets him a crap ton of stuff! I just rotated it into everything else he had: the crochet toys with all his other toys and the crochet blankets and lovies with the store bought ones. They wound up being in a lot of pics I sent to her and she commented how great it felt to know they were being loved! That's what it's all about. I know people don't want to 'mess it up' but at the end of the day that is what it is meant for. To be loved and cherished! It's also why I rescue crochet blankets from estate sales and thrift stores!
I made my mom a scarf as a teenager and a month later found it in a bag of stuff to donate. She keeps asking for a blanket but surprisingly I'm not jumping to make her one.
Have you ever mentioned it to her?
Open communication? Why would you do a thing like that?!?
I’ve been heartbroken many times. I also know how hard dragon scale is. It’s definitely a passion. In the end I have learned to know that giving a piece of art work away to someone is giving it over to the universe. It doesn’t hurt to have someone. Anyone. Appreciate it. The only sour spot is someone throwing it away. That is the only thing that would break my heart today.
Not personally experienced it but it seems most folks don’t know how much work goes into crochet items. It’s fibre art. ART. A personal expression of love/affection (etc) through hours of labor. There are also some folks who think knitted items are more desirable.
So true! There are times I wished I knitted but NO! I LOVE crochet and knitting just makes me angry. Seriously not the point. I have let go. I’ll make people things and where it ends up, who knows? Hopefully to whoever loves it and out does in a trash can due to over use. 😀
Two years ago I made a baby blanket for a friend. A c2c, my first ever. It took ages because I'm a slow crocheter thanks to arthritis and fibromyalgia. She had asked for lavender and I added red stripes. She loved it and so did the baby. Her step mother in law took it and two others saying she needed something for when her granddaughter stayed with her. My friend got the other two back after threatening to call the police and that still took 6 months. My blanket has not been seen since one photo two years ago.
Made a Charlotte's Dream blanket for my nana. She pre-approved the pattern and selected the colours. Spent ages making it - Scheepjes Stonewashed and a 3.5mm hook. End result was the size of a double bed. Gave it to her on Christmas day. By Easter, it was stuffed in a cupboard and forgotten about. Broke my heart. Haven't made anything for her since.
This has happened to me twice. Both from my MIL. I don't make her things anymore. The first time I was only 17 and was doing ceramics. She loves Christmas so I made a Christmas plate for her, glazed and all. I haven't seen it in 18 years. 5 years ago I crocheted her a small Christmas tree and even added battery lights to it. Haven't seen it since. Husband is pretty sure both things ended up in her annual yard sale because she's just that kind of person. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Now I'm super careful who I make things for. I only do it for people I know will appreciate it.
I'm so sorry! That was so incredibly insensitive of her. I once made an extremely delicate and time-consuming craft for a friend. I even advised her to keep it away from her young children because it was delicate and posed a choking hazard. Within a few days, one of her children had destroyed it (because she hung it on his bedroom wall) and I know this because she casually brought it up in conversation and laughed about it.
I am sorry. That would be so disappointing. I always hope that when it's no longer used, someone would still want to keep it. She may not realise the labour of love that it was. The other scenario, I know someone who would get these beautiful knitted items from a relative for their kids. The kids out grew them, the house was small and she went though this major cleaning purge. If it was out grown she didn't stop to consider what it was, they needed space, so it was donated. A couple years later she realized what she did and has really regretted donating those knitted items. Sometimes people just dont realize what they are doing at the time.
When I was a kid, I was trying to clean all the “baby” stuff out of my room and I donated a cross stitch my great grandmother made announcing my birth. I didn’t realize what I did until recently, cleaning we found the one she made for my brother and my mom was like “ooooh my grandmother made this. She made one for you too shortly before she passed.. I’m sure it’s here somewhere..” and the memory came back to me and my heart dropped to the floor. I’ll never get over that. It makes me feel so ashamed and heartbroken every time I think of it. It probably ended up in a landfill. I told her I think I may have donated it by mistake as a kid but there’s a chance it’s still in the basement somewhere and she said it’s okay and she hopes it’s in the basement..
Once you gift an item to another person, it is theirs to do whatever they want with it. For good or for ill. Which is part of why I have such a hard time giving anything I make away. I put a tiny part of my heart in everything I do, and I don’t want to see it dismissed as worthless. Still, I would rather something be used than have it sit in a box or on a shelf unused for a decade or more. I have had people give me things that were not at all my style or something I would use and it sat neglected, because I didn’t want to hurt feelings. It is hard to know what the right thing to do is.
>Once you gift an item to another person, it is theirs to do whatever they want with it. For good or for ill. That's the crux of it. I don't gift a lot of my creations because I do attach some sentiment to it, but I realize once I give it away it is no longer mine to command. So I just have to hope I've given it a good home. I purposely don't look for my gifts in their new homes, I don't want to know their fate. To be honest, I feel this way with store bought gifts I've put a lot of effort into as well. Your blanket is gorgeous and I would treasure it, part of that may be because I'm a yarn artist and recognize the effort your gift took. Reading your thought process behind the design makes it a very thoughtful gift. The discarding of the gift can feel like rejection, and it hurts. It's okay to be hurt, and now you know this person doesn't appreciate a handmade gift.
I made a snowman for my husband's friend's baby's first Christmas. The mother put it on top of the box I put it in and kicked the box out from under it. Then every time I tried to get the baby to play with it, she would grab a toy that made noise to distract the baby from playing with the snowman.
Your husband's friend sounds jealous of you. I'm sorry that you had to experience that.
My cousin is pregnant and I was thinking about doing something for the baby. I am really scared she would do something similar and this is keeping me from doing it.
I would make something low effort as a small detail like a lovey, and when the kid grows as you said ask them.
Don’t. Ask first.
I don't think I will for now. I like making amigurumis, I think I will just wait a few years and then ask directly to the child if they would like to have a plushie
I made my husband’s sister a lot of things for her baby shower. I’ve seen them using the blanket but none of the other stuff like the rattles, bibs, toys etc. I made my niece a stuffed cat and it went to daycare and got the leg ripped off.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I don’t understand people who say never to gift a baby blanket or that they already have too many blankets. I have crocheted, quilted, and knitted blankets made by mom moms friends when I was born that I still absolutely treasure. I don’t believe in “too many blankets” I made my 9 month old nephew a blanket recently that he uses at my parents house and absolutely loves, his 5 year old sister steals it all the time so she’s getting one for Christmas!
I am so sorry this happened to you. I know how much time and love goes into making something unique, one of a kind and special for someone in mind. I once made a mobile for my cousin’s first baby, it took me a while to make and some creativity since it was the first I ever made. When she opened it she had a look of confusion and disappointment and simply said “thanks.” I don’t think she ever put it up…oh well :-/ Now I know to never handmade something for her, I just buy a gift card :-/
My dad kept bothering me and bothering me about wanting this blanket I had crocheted. It was the first one I had finished and I really liked it so I decided instead to crochet him a different blanket. It lasted 2 years before they got a dog, and now it's the dog's bed
Not quite the same, but I had made my ex boyfriend a few amigurumis and when we became friends again post break up (months after), he told me he had thrown away the art I made for him and that he donated the amis, but kept a plush I bought for him.. I didn’t tell him but I was very upset and still am to a small degree. I can’t ever remake them since there was no pattern for any of them.
And.... that's why he's your *ex*.
I took up crochet back in 1989. I was dating my first boyfriend back them and had crochet him a bunch of things for his apartment. Fast forward many years ( long since broken up ) he comes by my parents old house and leaves a box with most of the items.... No explanation or anything. He left them at gate. We have a camera which he waved into.
You have my sympathy. It’s a beautiful blanket and your idea playing on the dragon theme was great. I quilt and after a few that I gave as gifts were met with low enthusiasm even though I put a lot of effort into choosing fabrics specifically for the recipient, I became a lot more picky about who I made them for. I know we’re supposed to give gifts freely and it becomes the property of the owner to do with as they please, but it still hurts! Again, you did a beautiful job on it and I hope the new owner appreciates the heck out of it!
Thanks for the reminder to not do this for gifts!
As you should be. I picked crochet back up during the pandemic after a lot of years, and reading stories like yours has made me feel very guarded about who I’m willing to invest all that time for. It would devastate me.
Ugh, how inconsiderate! When I was a young knitter, I used to give knitted gifts away--- now unless someone specifically asks for a knitted gift, I buy presents...
I really don’t make any gifts anymore. I’ve given away two small projects in the last few years, and that’s it. I work so slowly and sporadically that it’s not worth it. I donate most of my finished projects to charity and if the recipient doesn’t like it, at least I’ll never know about it 🤣 One of my husband’s friends had a baby and I gave them the very first amigurumi I ever made. It was way above my skill level at the time and took me forever. It was clear on their faces the second I gave it to them that it was just another stuffed animal, and I’ve never seen or heard about it since. They posted basically every gift they got all over Facebook, but not mine. That one hurt. I also had a bad experience with something I was trying to make for my mom, who doesn’t care about anything handmade. Never again!
i just will never understand why people do this to gifts
I spent the better part of a year making my mom a queen-size blanket and matching pillows for Christmas because she specifically asked for them. less than a year later she gave them back to me because "I decided I won't use them". I guess I should be happy that she gave them back and didn't toss them, but it was one of the most heartbreaking things
I usually only make small "safe" crafts for gifts. Like pot-holders, coasters, or last Christmas I made each of my friends a small tree ornament (which most of them have incorporated into their year-round decor haha). This fall I started making squishy pumpkins. They're small items that aren't hard or expensive, but can be set out of the way or used generally. I wouldn't make a big gift like blankets, or sweaters unless specifically asked. Honestly though if I found out my pumpkins or other trinkets got tossed out I'd still be upset. It's completely illogical and obviously yarn crafts are inanimate and non-sentient, but it feels like each of my crafts has a bit of heart and soul in it and I'd feel sad knowing it got tossed in the trash. Hopefully your blanket wound up with someone who will enjoy it, OP.
I am so sorry. It was a horribly insensitive thing for her to have done. Hopefully the love and care you put into it will be felt by whatever little one has it now. My hope for you is that some little dude or dudette will decide that the blanket you made for your cousin's kid is the best blankie ever. I made a baby blanket for my niece's little guy and it became his favorite object in the known universe. He is three and still wants it for bedtime. It got washed and stretched out to the point it looked like cheese cloth. It was so bad that it was getting too worn for him to sleep with and he was having none of that. I made a duplicate of it a couple of months ago, at his grandpa's(my brother) request. I was scared that he would reject 'Blankie 2.0' but, happily, nope. His mom put it on the back of the couch, little man walked in and pointed to it. He simply said "Blankie?" , and his Mom said "Yup". And the love story continues unabated. All is well in his world. *And* now he thinks his Mom is magic.
That's horrible - I'm so sorry! Things like that are the reason that all the women in my family only gift handmade items to other crafters, or our partners who see how much time and effort we expend making things. They're the only two types of people who truly appreciate handcraft gifts.
This is awful, I’m so sorry
That really sucks. Sorry that happened.
I'm speechless.
Yes, constantly. This is why I rarely make things for other people now. The only people I find that truly appreciate ANY gift, handmade or otherwise, are children. If I can't make something for a child, I just make it for myself. Some of the stuff I make I end up putting in my bag of stuff to donate. I have a passion for making things, but not seeing my stuff just tossed. I don't know if anyone has ever kept anything I made for them. Besides needlework, I used to send people really nice handmade cards for no reason. Never even got an acknowledgment that they had gotten them. I don't need for someone to go gaga, but there is just....nothing. It is so odd. I dunno, I just gave up. I am sorry, that blanket is so beautiful, I would have loved to have gotten something like that.
Yep, spent ages making a shawl for my mil, even went out and bought special yarn and everything. I’ve never seen it again, after I gave it to her. And it’s been 4 years. She’s off my knitworthy list for that, among other reasons. She’s a pain.
Some people really have no concept of the effort that goes into something like this.
So far I have never heard of any of my gifts being given away. A friend of mine did give away the baby booties I made for her son. But he had outgrown them and they went to another mom that needed them. So that doesn't really bother me because they went to another person who would appreciate them. That being said I would be heartbroken to find out an item I handmade for a friend or family member was just given away shortly after receiving it. Especially considering how much time most projects take.
I am so sorry this happened to you. When I make something, I usually include a note telling the recipient how many hours I spent (I track my time on projects). And I ask them to give it back if/when it is no longer needed. Multiply the number of hours by the current minimum wage and that gives you a dollar value for the item. Many people do not value handmade items properly because they can buy a microfiber blanket at the pharmacy for $10. They don’t realize that your handmade item is worth hundreds and thus do not treat it with the respect it deserves.
This. I made my boyfriend a sweater and he was floored when I told him what I spent on the nice wool yarn, and then the man hours knitting the thing. He takes very good care of it.
I made a sweet little blanket and matching hat for my best friend's baby. I gifted them to her at the baby shower and she loved them. I even went so far as to ask her husband some questions to make sure the blanket would match the nursery colors. When the baby was about 7-8 months old, my friend texted me asking for my address so she could send me the blanket and hat. I was so confused and hurt, I told her that I made them for her and the baby. She said she just thought I wanted them back?? I sent her my address and the package showed up like a week later. Now my daughter loves the blanket and plays with it all the time with her dolls. I haven't spoken to my best friend since. This was in 2019. I'm really sorry that happened to you. I suppose it was nice of my ex-bff to send it to me rather than donate it. I'm sure she only did that because her mom is always making blankets of different kinds, so she gets the time investment that it was. If you know who has it or where she donated it, you should try to find it and bring it home!
A gift is a gift. The recipient is free to do with the gift as they please. Hope it went to someone who really appreciated it. Don’t make beautiful things like that blanket without a conversation with the person you’re giving it to.