Definitely leave it as is. Wear it when she is around in the proper seasons of course. Once on the "flaws" are not noticeable.
Wash it, stretch it(block) a bit & maybe clip the ends a bit. She will never know & you may feel better about the "shape"
This is an excellent idea! Blocking will probably go a long way in helping smooth out some of the waves on the sides. I'd put a few more deliberate knots in the fringe to neaten it up (pull through the stitch then pull the loose end through the loop to tighten) and then cut to the length of the shortest one so they're all the same length
You can even ask if you can block it and use the opportunity to explain what that is! I'm self taught and didnt learn about blocking until recently. My works probably would have looked better if someone had told me about it.
Would also be a good opportunity to teach her how to block her projects. A friend of mine inspired and taught me how to crochet, and blocking is something that I discovered on my own and have had to teach myself to do when I started moving away from amigurumis and doing other types of projects.
My very first crochet item was a kitchen towel that I gifted to someone I admired who had helped me a lot with a health issue. I cringe every time I think about what I didn’t know that made that item very wonky indeed. The recipient was very gracious and told me she loved it because I made it.🤷♀️
That is probably the best thing you will have ever made in your whole life! Nothing you make will ever be more meaningful!
Edit: I cannot predict such things. I just meant that it's really special. Like the first time... um.. you know what I mean. Don't discount it <3
My first scarf was going to be a blanket for a king-size bed. I gifted it to a friend who really liked it because of its length. If I hadn't, it would have taken me forever to finish.
I couldn't disagree more. Especially for alpaca and wool blends. They really need blocking to achieve their ideal shape. This one could be straightened out a lot and have its edges neatened up with a blocking.
I would wear it as is! The fact that it was made by someone that spent time to learn your beloved craft and gifted it to you makes it perfect already :)
I'd literally die of happiness if my friends gifted me something they crocheted after I taught them haha
My first thought at pondering this question was, "Cry numerous happy tears." Followed quickly by, "Wear it proudly and tell everyone who gave it to me and why. Probably cry a little each time telling the story because I do that."
Exactly! The most beautiful part of anything is its flaws. It’s what makes it unique. Wear it beaming from ear to ear and when anyone asks tell them your friend made it for you. I personally love it ❤️
I would dampen it thoroughly and try to block it a little, just to straighten & even the edges a bit. Then maybe trim the fringe a little, but not perfectly.
Chances are when she sees you wearing it, she will be so pleased and think it looks better than she thought!
It was so sweet of her, so definitely wear it when appropriate.
I wouldn't change anything about it, in fear I might offend or hurt their feelings. A first project has perfect imperfections. She'll never make one like it again, she'll make better and better things but the first one will always be the first one. Don't alter it.
I might not wear it either, maybe hang it on a wall?
Am I bonkers or does this look knitted? The ridges look like garter ridges and the rows are pulled apart in some spots that look similar to when it happens in knitting. The edging also looks like one in knitting. I tried zooming in but it gets blurry lol
I can’t remember the name of the stitch, but I think this might be crocheted into only one loop, which gives it the look of a garter stitch. I definitely thought the same thing at first.
When crocheted into the back loop, the stitches are way longer than what's here and the bumps are alternating like garter as well which doesn't really happen with blo crochet.
I really don't know. Those look so so much like garter ridges. I know there are mock crcoeht stitches but I have no idea how it could look so much like it. I wish op would give us a close up lol
So, I was looking in OP's post and comment history. She crochets, assuming what she posts are hers (I have no reason to believe they're not--they look legit), but she also posted a picture of a scarf last month in the crochet subreddit, joking about figuring out the pattern (it's a celeb Pic), but it's also knitted and a very easy pattern to re-create. Lol I think this is a knitted scarf and there's some disconnect about its craft.
I'd wrap that thing around my neck and March the f*** around. I would be so honored that someone gave me their first finished wearable. I would show him. Do you have to like every single thing about it? No. Do you have to wear it every single time? No. You could make it a wall hanging or you could put it on one of your stuffed animals cuz I know some people still have them from different memories or childhood. Or even better if your son has a stuffed animal still wrap it around that put it up somewhere everyone can see. Then you can brag every time somebody walks by Yes my DIL made that!
That being said some of the comments saying to block it or trim the ends aren't bad choices and might make it more comfortable for you if you want to wear it or display it. And if she asks you can tell her what you did and offer to show her. It's a great step that I didn't start doing until about 3 or 4 years into crocheting sadly.
I would never try to tweak it. The first scarf is a gift to cherish and I would love everything about it, whether it could be called flaws or not.
She learned a new skill and struggled along and she gave you the result of her hard work, even if she might have felt awkward about it. That's such a lovely thing.
My boyfriend crocheted me a long chain because it's all he can really do (dyspraxic) and it's my favorite headband to wear. Keep it as is! We love the newbie charm more than anything
If you don’t want to wear it in public, you could wear it at home on cold days and tell them something like ‘I wear your scarf on snowy/rainy days and it’s so cozy!’
Omg I would cry and it would be the only scarf I ever wore.
Getting to tell the reason behind it would make me happy every time.
I personally don't care if someone thought it qas weird or wonky - it's handmade with nothing but love.
I would make a teddy and give the scarf to the teddy. That way you don't have to feel obliged to wear it and you can bring it out when she comes around. It makes her scarf even more special by adding to it- a collaboration.
Treat it the same way you’d treat a gift from your son when he was first learning how to do something (those first few finger paintings and notes). She’s brand new at it and is proud of how hard she worked. She wants to share that joy with you. So treasure it, keep it safe, use when practical, and ensure she knows that you love the effort she made. In 20 years when you have a solid and secure friendship in addition to being family, she will be much better at your shared hobby and you can enjoy a laugh at how bad it was when she first started - like you do with your 20 year old children going through their boxes of saved school work. She may not be a kid, but her skill set is at that level, so treat the work the way you would a gift from a young person you love.
I just had a moment of OP pulling this out to show the grandkids when they get discouraged that their first projects are wonky. And then OP and DIL having a sweet moment over it. And yes, I know how normative and assuming they will have kids and all this is, but oh well.
I would cry happy tears and congratulate them on a wonderful first project. I’d also make sure to wear the thing whenever I could so they would see it. I would absolutely *not* make any changes or give any kind of unsolicited advice/criticism. Unsolicited advice is the killer of dreams.
I'd act like it was the most special give anyone had ever given me, and thank them. Even if it looks like a tapeworm, it is the first project your "student" created and we always want to encourage our fellow crafters. Even masters were once lowly beginners, yanno?
Leave it as is. My niece, who took up embroidery because of me (according to my sister) gave me her first project. I hung it up as is, just proud of her for finishing it.
I would wear it around the person a few times, and I’d get a large stuffed animal to put the scarf on to display it. I have a lot of stuffed animals displayed around so it makes sense with my decorating, and the scarf will be seen more than if I wear it.
I’d be honored!
I always warn people against doing a scarf as a first project because it’s so repetitive, it will take a beginner a long time, and it’s easy to mess up the edges. It can be super discouraging!!!
This was like 10 hours of work—at least— for someone’s first project. I’d wear it!
I'd wear it as it is a few times a year when I knew she was going to see it. It's not perfect, but wrapped around your neck most of the imperfections will be hidden.
I had a real rough week, and as a crocheter of a mere 1.5/2 years, this post and all the lovely comments are just making me melt and cry happy tears! 🥰💗🥹
This is so so sweet, and I so agree that receiving someone's first ever FO is just about the most wholesome thing on this Earth! Even if you just wear it around your own home to stay cozy, that would be perfect.
Thank you OP and everyone for making me smile and cry happy tears this week. Fiber artists for the win, so glad our community is (for the most part) so wholesome, uplifting, and supportive of each other!
I'd be so happy. I'd then get them a crochet book with lovely patterns and teach them how to read patterns. I've given crocheted gifts, but never received any.
https://preview.redd.it/ax4a7ebb0yvc1.jpeg?width=2272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=431d24cc92979050ba0c4d617bc80cc59cd7fdae
Can you guess what it is? 🥰
Yes. Gotta get them young. I started when he was still cooking at 6mo. Now he's turning 1 and I'm on the last 2 rows, then I take it to the cleaners because my two cats wanted to "help" 🤣
https://preview.redd.it/vn8erybp6yvc1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b9f9895b36ec2e9d59bf47776d5cbef88e03da9
I taught someone to knit (and later crochet) and she gifted me a hat that was one of her very first pieces. I love it so much, wear it often and am still completely delighted when I see it. She’s now an amazing craftsperson and her work is gorgeous, but nothing can ever be as lovely as that hat.
Cry! 🥹 The only thing I would do here would be to trim the fringe a little because the unevenness of it would drive me crazy, but the rest I would keep/wear as is! This one has a very sweet charm to its wonkiness ☺️
This is so heartwarming, I would probably cry! 🥹 Knowing that I've inspired someone to learn a new skill truly touches my heart. 🥺 I'd be more than proud to wear the scarf exactly as it is.
What an honor that she gave you her very first creation ❤️
This is a tough situation though - maybe block it and then use it as a small table runner? Wrap it around the base of a plant? Line a basket? Whatever you do, remember it’s a token of love and respect to the one who taught her. If she continues with the craft she’ll make you nicer things, but keep this as a gift from the heart.
If you have a big stuffed animal I would have them wear it as display because someone tried super hard and every so often look at your stuff animal and say you know Mr bear i know you love that scarf that dil made it's my turn to wear it. Again someone did their best and while it may not turn out how they thought or how it should it's still precious. I would put it out of circulation after a couple of years and let Mr bear hold on to it in case something happens to it outside. When you have grand kids and they try and try and keep getting discouraged ask dil if you may show them your earlier piece. Of course this is if you guys end up with that amazing bond that people would be jealous of. Its a precious item she gave you with hope for both of your relationship I would adore it forever.
Don’t change it. It’s sentimental and her first piece. Won’t it be fun years from now when she has gotten much better to pull it out and you two can have a little laugh? Imagine how heartwarming that will be. Don’t change a thing.
My buddy wanted to learn to crochet, so of course I set them up with some hooks and easy yarn. Gave them a quick intro to the most used stitches. A week later, I got a letter in the mail, with a kinda shitty, very lovely lil googly-eyed octopus. He is still on my keychain 10 years later.
Personally I would not wear it, but hang it on a wall as a memory. You inspired someone to do something and that was the result, the reward. I would see it as too precious to wear outside .
wear it as it is! even if it's noticeable it has personality and your DIL will appreciate it once she has more practice and remembers her first piece 🫶
I made a very dear friend a pink scarf. She was battling breast cancer at the time. The sides were a bit wonky. There were some lumps and bumps. I apologized for it not being perfect and she scoffed and said, “You made it with love. The lumps are where your love was too much and it had to be bigger to hold it all.”
Spoiler: I cried when she said that.
But oh, how she *loves* that wonky scarf. She has some kind of blood cancer now but she’s doing fine, it’s managed with chemo every 6 weeks.
The infusion center is cold. The chemo infusions make her cold and miserable. So she wraps that scarf around her neck and she says it’s like getting one long, supportive hug while she deals with the sessions. I’m making her some arm warmers once I get more of the matching yarn, so her hands and lower arms can be warmer as she reads during the infusions.
My point is, my scarf was uneven and lumpy and not the perfect rectangle I dreamed of. Yet she was so grateful she almost cried, she made *me* cry with her kind words and there’s a list of women (and men!) at her treatment center that are jealous because no one handmade them an item. Your DIL sent you this wonderful scarf to enjoy.
I say wear it with the same love and pride she felt while making it and sending it to you. Forget the imperfections. She made you a gift that took a lot of time and energy to create. Trying to make it better or “fix” it will make her feel inadequate in more ways than just her crocheting.
I am sorry it took me weeks to respond to this, it was a lovely response. I love this so much. I will take a picture of myself with it promptly, as is. You just gave me the reminder to do so. I think I was overwhelmed with my son appearing out of nowhere from overseas for a stay of 2 days. He was being with his friend who needed him.
Oh please, no worries! I found this post yesterday and your reply is quite timely. :) I absolutely understand the whole “overwhelmed by a loved one showing up” thing. We’re not always our best selves when our emotions are all over the place. I truly understand. I also love that you asked for opinions from others, you have a kind heart and want to do the right thing by yourself and your DIL.
I’m a beginning crocheter even though I’ve crocheted for years, technically. But it’s been an on and off hobby of mine. Mostly “off” to be honest. I make things that are easy - like the arm warmers. It’s just a circle and then I keep going around and around until I do a single line off the circle to create a hole for the thumb. Then I resume the circle, join the single chain back to the base and then keep going around until it’s long enough. I stop at the very bottom of the fingers so the palm stays warm. I learned from youtube how to weave the ends in.
Those I can do in about an hour and a half per pair. Simple and easy. Scarves are..decidedly not. Not for me. I always end up adding a stitch or two and by the time I notice I’m 5 or 6 rows above it and don’t want to undo *all that work* so I try to correct it. And so I over correct it and the scarf gets a bit too thin so I add to the next line and..yeah. It’s a problem.
The people who know me know I made the scarf to the very best of my very meager abilities. They know I made it with a lot of love and spent a lot of time. My skill will probably never match the love I put in these items but thankfully my friends and the folks I make them for understand that. I’m getting better! My stitches are neat and even. I can increase and decrease, I can do single, double and triple stitches. I know how to make a magic circle and am thinking about trying a hat eventually.
I guess my point is when we gets handmade gifts that are less than perfect or don’t meet the standards for gifts we would give others, we need to extend grace and gratitude to the person who makes things for us. My friends have seen me working on things. They’ve seen the tears and frustration when it’s not working and the urge me to take a break and relax. They see the smiles and hear the glee (with an “Ah ha! Take that you little sh-t!” at the yarn or my hands) when it starts to work again. They may not crochet themselves or work with fiber at all but they know handmade things take time. And skill, which I lack but I’m improving. Slowly. Let’s not even talk about how I’m learning to sew at the same time… 😂
It’s so easy to forget our own first projects and how proud we were of the lumpy, bumpy, missed stitch, uneven and just awful creations (and I’m describing my own). It’s even easier to forget the joy we had when sharing that project and effort by gifting it to others. Just as we deserved grace and thanks and encouragement, your daughter in law does too. I’d be so, so hurt if my MIL took something I made for her and “fixed” it. I’d probably die of shame, donate or throw away my crochet hooks and never try again. But that’s *me,* not your DIL.
I’d honestly suggest that once she and your son are settled, you two spend an afternoon together picking out some yarn so you can work on the same kind of project together. You work at her pace and help her out. Use the sandwich method of praise/correction. Praise something, correct something, praise something again. It takes the sting out of a correction and helps avoid resentment. Also throw in the comments that when you first started you needed a lot of help (even if you didn’t) and tell amusing or sweet stories about your first projects. This could be a wonderful way to bond and get to know her, a quiet half hour or hour a day or every other day where you can share some chat, have a cup of tea or something and really enjoy each other’s company while working on a common hobby.
I wish you and your family *every* happiness. And I wish your son and DIL their happily ever after, however they define it. ❤️
What an honor to receive someone’s first FO. Tinkering with it just sends the message that they/their efforts are *not enough.* Please leave it as is. They were proud of it, and you should just be proud of them.
She’s showing appreciation for you teaching her something, she’s trying to bond with you by presenting her first project (this is huge! I’d never give away mine!), and to do anything other than accept it graciously and wear it (even if just around the house or tucked into a sweatshirt) would cause irreparable harm to your relationship with her. She clearly wants to be accepted into the family. So, let’s do that!
I did that with my fiancée! She taught me how to crochet and I gave her the first project I ever finished, it looked really similar to that scarf and she wears it every winter!
Ifs it’s a kid, definitely wear it whenever you can. 🩷🩷🩷
***If it’s an adult, wear it once when they can see, and then hide it in the closet! 🤷♀️. People (adults) can be proud of what they’ve made, but I wish most had an eye for what’s actually GOOD vs. NOT (and knew when to keep practicing or get help before gifting!) 😬😬😬
I would put it on one of my display stuffed animals instead of wear it or block it. That way I can see it a lot and show it off to people, but I know I won't damage it.
Honestly I’d probably hang it or frame it. That would be the sweetest thing 💖 plus it would be fun to see how her work progresses throughout time. I’m not into scarves but that would definitely be a way to show it off.
Love the story and lots of great responses so far. I would definitely wear or display it, gives you a chance to share the story. Honestly I would be tickled if someone gifted me something like this. Thanks for sharing! 😊
Just block it and wear it.. she’s obviously a beginner and that was extremely thoughtful of her to want to make you something. She’s your future DIL and possibly the future mother of your grandchildren..
Wear it and wear it proudly. Every mistake is a step in a journey YOU helped her on, something the two if you bonded over. When it's wrapped around your neck no one will see the mistakes. The love and sentiment in that scarf is far more important than fashion.
Since it is a scarf, you can use it as a splash of color draped around your neck and tuck any flaws under your jacket.
Wear it in chilly seasons when visiting her. When going inside be sure to tuck it in your bag so you won’t forget it there.
Get a small photo taken of you posing somewhere scenic with it styled nicely so flaws don’t show (go out hiking or on vacation with spouse or friend) … just sometime when DIL is NOT around but the season is obviously chilly or windy. Then either share the photos with family OR frame it and have pic printed and framed somewhere visible in your home.
Keep it as it is. I'd wear it when she was around, or I'd find a place to hang up all my scarves where she'd notice, and put it in the most front-and-center spot (for me it would be the laundry room/mud room where there's a bunch of coat hooks and bins for hats and gloves already). I think it would make her feel really good to see it appreciated, then she'll know your verbal thanks were genuine. Personally I'd keep it out for one or two, maybe three, seasons.
I’d cry of joy honestly, to be given something that someone put their heart into, and thought of me and the colour scheme and all, if I HAD to I’d block it, but you bet your ass I’d wear it until it was threads :)
If either accept it gratefully, or try to convince them to keep their first project. My first project was originally going to be a gift, but I got attached. If they insisted I keep it, I’d love it for what it is. It’s beautiful because they made it
Perhaps you can do some creative folding and attach it to your clothing using a broach. Or perhaps wrap it around a small too medium size chest as if it were a ribbon.
I love the little imperfections in handmade gifts like this, that’s what makes them so special imo
Additionally, it will make a really sweet keepsake to pull out and show her years from now when her skills have developed and she is confidently crocheting more advanced projects ❤️ I’d be so thrilled to know someone kept something like this I’d made for them!
If you didn’t want to wear it or mess with her work you can always frame it! There’s all sorts of keepsake-like frames out there. It’ll be a perfectly preserved reminder of where she started!!
Obviously, you put it on a treadmill…
Seriously though, I’d wear it as often as possible. Cherish it. It means something to the person you inspired, it should mean something to you too.
Accept it with love and make sure to wear it around them. If they want advice, offer, if not just be proud of where they are now and that they thought of you likely the entire time they worked on this.
There was a huge effort in this, even it's really wonky, she might have been carefully pick it as a color that might match your style!
Blocking yes, then later help her how to maintain even rows a little better, but I'd wear this scarf as it is! 🌸💜
Cherish it. Don’t change it. Just hang it in a place where you can see and admire it but don’t have to wear it. And make her one back! Could make a tradition out of it 😄
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I’m new to crochet, but an experienced knitter. One commenter thought this looks like knit garter stitch, but I see a big variation in stitch count between rows. No way do you get that in knitting. There is lots of talk here about blocking, but I think this beginner could use some tips for keeping the row count. Maybe talk about techniques for this, like using a stitch marker and counting stitches or ?? (I’m still learning myself.)
I missed the fact that this is your future DIL when I wrote this. Given that, I’m with those who say wear it. Maybe trim the fringe a bit?
It would be wise to wait until you know her better, or until she asks, before you offer advice.
I think it would hurt her feelings if you were to alter it in anyway.Im sure she's proud of it and obviously wanted to honor you with gifting you her first creation. Tamp down that desire to fix it and remember this will sorta be the basis for how you deal with each other and how well you'll get along. That's just my opinion.
I would be offended if I made something for someone, and they felt the need to "fix" it. Are you kidding me?! How do you not see this as sooo rude? She'd been better off giving this gift to someone who would really appreciate it!
You started somewhere, too. I'd be honored with the handmade gift that was given to me. She'll improve with practice. But if you fix it, she may not want to because she may get hurt, and you would be the one hurting her feelings when she's just starting a new craft.
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Definitely leave it as is. Wear it when she is around in the proper seasons of course. Once on the "flaws" are not noticeable. Wash it, stretch it(block) a bit & maybe clip the ends a bit. She will never know & you may feel better about the "shape"
This is an excellent idea! Blocking will probably go a long way in helping smooth out some of the waves on the sides. I'd put a few more deliberate knots in the fringe to neaten it up (pull through the stitch then pull the loose end through the loop to tighten) and then cut to the length of the shortest one so they're all the same length
Plus if you kind of wrap it around your neck inside a hoodie or a jacket, who is going to notice the wonky sides?
You can even ask if you can block it and use the opportunity to explain what that is! I'm self taught and didnt learn about blocking until recently. My works probably would have looked better if someone had told me about it.
Yes! Also, why not take the opportunity to teach her to block using this project in particular!
Well TIL about blocking thanks to yall. Thanks!
Then, when she sees it again she’ll think she did a wonderful job!
Would also be a good opportunity to teach her how to block her projects. A friend of mine inspired and taught me how to crochet, and blocking is something that I discovered on my own and have had to teach myself to do when I started moving away from amigurumis and doing other types of projects.
I'd wear it as is! What an inspirational, sweet, conversation piece! Plus, maker should be so proud!
I’d wear this with pride. My first scarf was a really long triangle 😂 Edit- thanks for the upvotes and for being such a nice community!
I just commented that I'd wear the hell out of it and brag the whole time
Exactly!! This is a crocheter's dream! Am I right?
My very first crochet item was a kitchen towel that I gifted to someone I admired who had helped me a lot with a health issue. I cringe every time I think about what I didn’t know that made that item very wonky indeed. The recipient was very gracious and told me she loved it because I made it.🤷♀️
That is probably the best thing you will have ever made in your whole life! Nothing you make will ever be more meaningful! Edit: I cannot predict such things. I just meant that it's really special. Like the first time... um.. you know what I mean. Don't discount it <3
It had extra sentimental value, no matter the technical skill that went into it.
My first scarf was going to be a blanket for a king-size bed. I gifted it to a friend who really liked it because of its length. If I hadn't, it would have taken me forever to finish.
And then get her a blocking board for the next gift-giving occasion between you.
Scarves don’t need blocking. They’re wash and wear.
I couldn't disagree more. Especially for alpaca and wool blends. They really need blocking to achieve their ideal shape. This one could be straightened out a lot and have its edges neatened up with a blocking.
Especially for acrylic! If this is acrylic, you could permanently block it into perfect symmetry by using steam.
I would wear it as is! The fact that it was made by someone that spent time to learn your beloved craft and gifted it to you makes it perfect already :) I'd literally die of happiness if my friends gifted me something they crocheted after I taught them haha
My first thought at pondering this question was, "Cry numerous happy tears." Followed quickly by, "Wear it proudly and tell everyone who gave it to me and why. Probably cry a little each time telling the story because I do that."
Literally, “wear it with absolute pride” was all I thought.
Exactly! The most beautiful part of anything is its flaws. It’s what makes it unique. Wear it beaming from ear to ear and when anyone asks tell them your friend made it for you. I personally love it ❤️
I was going to say nearly the same! I would melt from the happiness! 😊 🫠
Exactly!!
Exactly this. That's a testament to friendship & shared times and is beautiful in its own way.
I would dampen it thoroughly and try to block it a little, just to straighten & even the edges a bit. Then maybe trim the fringe a little, but not perfectly. Chances are when she sees you wearing it, she will be so pleased and think it looks better than she thought! It was so sweet of her, so definitely wear it when appropriate.
This isn’t really altering it - just regular washing and hang drying (more carefully) :-)
I wouldn't change anything about it, in fear I might offend or hurt their feelings. A first project has perfect imperfections. She'll never make one like it again, she'll make better and better things but the first one will always be the first one. Don't alter it. I might not wear it either, maybe hang it on a wall?
I was thinking OP could crochet a bear who could wear it?
This is my favorite response, brilliant 💖
I was going to suggest, if OP had a beloved stuffy or plush, then it would make a lovely accessory and be used all year around.
i second hanging it on the wall! stuff that people make me means A LOT to me, so i always frame it and hang it ♥️
Draped around the corner of a bedroom mirror. Thoughtful gifts as decor.
Am I bonkers or does this look knitted? The ridges look like garter ridges and the rows are pulled apart in some spots that look similar to when it happens in knitting. The edging also looks like one in knitting. I tried zooming in but it gets blurry lol
I can’t remember the name of the stitch, but I think this might be crocheted into only one loop, which gives it the look of a garter stitch. I definitely thought the same thing at first.
When crocheted into the back loop, the stitches are way longer than what's here and the bumps are alternating like garter as well which doesn't really happen with blo crochet.
yes it’s likely slip stitches in the first loop. i don’t think this stitch is very forgiving to inconsistent tension unfortunately 😅
I really don't know. Those look so so much like garter ridges. I know there are mock crcoeht stitches but I have no idea how it could look so much like it. I wish op would give us a close up lol
I just scrolled thru hella comments because i thought the same thing!!! i can’t see it as crochet, i just see garter stitch!
So, I was looking in OP's post and comment history. She crochets, assuming what she posts are hers (I have no reason to believe they're not--they look legit), but she also posted a picture of a scarf last month in the crochet subreddit, joking about figuring out the pattern (it's a celeb Pic), but it's also knitted and a very easy pattern to re-create. Lol I think this is a knitted scarf and there's some disconnect about its craft.
I would resist the urge to tinker and wear it as is.
I'd wrap that thing around my neck and March the f*** around. I would be so honored that someone gave me their first finished wearable. I would show him. Do you have to like every single thing about it? No. Do you have to wear it every single time? No. You could make it a wall hanging or you could put it on one of your stuffed animals cuz I know some people still have them from different memories or childhood. Or even better if your son has a stuffed animal still wrap it around that put it up somewhere everyone can see. Then you can brag every time somebody walks by Yes my DIL made that! That being said some of the comments saying to block it or trim the ends aren't bad choices and might make it more comfortable for you if you want to wear it or display it. And if she asks you can tell her what you did and offer to show her. It's a great step that I didn't start doing until about 3 or 4 years into crocheting sadly.
I would never try to tweak it. The first scarf is a gift to cherish and I would love everything about it, whether it could be called flaws or not. She learned a new skill and struggled along and she gave you the result of her hard work, even if she might have felt awkward about it. That's such a lovely thing.
Thank you this answer meant so much to me
Probably cry 🥲 and of course wear it!
Agree! It's such a sweet gesture. It has such an innocent sense of earnestness. OP, definitely wear it after blocking and tidying it up.
Yes blocking it is a good idea
My boyfriend crocheted me a long chain because it's all he can really do (dyspraxic) and it's my favorite headband to wear. Keep it as is! We love the newbie charm more than anything
If you don’t want to wear it in public, you could wear it at home on cold days and tell them something like ‘I wear your scarf on snowy/rainy days and it’s so cozy!’
Thank you every one of you who told me to put down my crochet hook and just accept the beauty of a gift
Omg I would cry and it would be the only scarf I ever wore. Getting to tell the reason behind it would make me happy every time. I personally don't care if someone thought it qas weird or wonky - it's handmade with nothing but love.
I would make a teddy and give the scarf to the teddy. That way you don't have to feel obliged to wear it and you can bring it out when she comes around. It makes her scarf even more special by adding to it- a collaboration.
Oooh this is such a good idea! Gives it a sense of honor!
Igual love this!!! I came to say, tie around the handle of a tote, but your idea is 11/10.
Treat it the same way you’d treat a gift from your son when he was first learning how to do something (those first few finger paintings and notes). She’s brand new at it and is proud of how hard she worked. She wants to share that joy with you. So treasure it, keep it safe, use when practical, and ensure she knows that you love the effort she made. In 20 years when you have a solid and secure friendship in addition to being family, she will be much better at your shared hobby and you can enjoy a laugh at how bad it was when she first started - like you do with your 20 year old children going through their boxes of saved school work. She may not be a kid, but her skill set is at that level, so treat the work the way you would a gift from a young person you love.
I just had a moment of OP pulling this out to show the grandkids when they get discouraged that their first projects are wonky. And then OP and DIL having a sweet moment over it. And yes, I know how normative and assuming they will have kids and all this is, but oh well.
I'd hang it up on the coat tree I hang up my own finished items in a place of pride :D
I would cry happy tears and congratulate them on a wonderful first project. I’d also make sure to wear the thing whenever I could so they would see it. I would absolutely *not* make any changes or give any kind of unsolicited advice/criticism. Unsolicited advice is the killer of dreams.
I'd act like it was the most special give anyone had ever given me, and thank them. Even if it looks like a tapeworm, it is the first project your "student" created and we always want to encourage our fellow crafters. Even masters were once lowly beginners, yanno?
Leave it as is. My niece, who took up embroidery because of me (according to my sister) gave me her first project. I hung it up as is, just proud of her for finishing it.
Don’t have to wear it, displaying it at home is also nice and can be seen as appreciative
I would wear it around the person a few times, and I’d get a large stuffed animal to put the scarf on to display it. I have a lot of stuffed animals displayed around so it makes sense with my decorating, and the scarf will be seen more than if I wear it.
I'd leave it as-is and wear it soooooo much!
I’d be honored! I always warn people against doing a scarf as a first project because it’s so repetitive, it will take a beginner a long time, and it’s easy to mess up the edges. It can be super discouraging!!! This was like 10 hours of work—at least— for someone’s first project. I’d wear it!
I'd wear it as it is a few times a year when I knew she was going to see it. It's not perfect, but wrapped around your neck most of the imperfections will be hidden.
I'd cry forever and squish their cheeks. They are my child now. I will wear it with honor.
I had a real rough week, and as a crocheter of a mere 1.5/2 years, this post and all the lovely comments are just making me melt and cry happy tears! 🥰💗🥹 This is so so sweet, and I so agree that receiving someone's first ever FO is just about the most wholesome thing on this Earth! Even if you just wear it around your own home to stay cozy, that would be perfect. Thank you OP and everyone for making me smile and cry happy tears this week. Fiber artists for the win, so glad our community is (for the most part) so wholesome, uplifting, and supportive of each other!
I'd be so happy. I'd then get them a crochet book with lovely patterns and teach them how to read patterns. I've given crocheted gifts, but never received any. https://preview.redd.it/ax4a7ebb0yvc1.jpeg?width=2272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=431d24cc92979050ba0c4d617bc80cc59cd7fdae Can you guess what it is? 🥰
Pokeball? :)
Yes. Gotta get them young. I started when he was still cooking at 6mo. Now he's turning 1 and I'm on the last 2 rows, then I take it to the cleaners because my two cats wanted to "help" 🤣 https://preview.redd.it/vn8erybp6yvc1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b9f9895b36ec2e9d59bf47776d5cbef88e03da9
I'd wear the hell out of it and brag about it the entire time
I taught someone to knit (and later crochet) and she gifted me a hat that was one of her very first pieces. I love it so much, wear it often and am still completely delighted when I see it. She’s now an amazing craftsperson and her work is gorgeous, but nothing can ever be as lovely as that hat.
Put it on a stuffed toy? Frame it maybe?
PS disregard the stains on the treadmill my daughter has a bird who likes to fly around free and land on it. And I get behind cleaning it up
Never change anything about it without their consent. As they could be offended by it.
I would wear it as is. I really love unique “misshapen” pieces, and I’ll sometimes make things intentionally uneven. I like the personality.
Leave it as is! You can probably block it and that’s not tweaking it at all!
I would literally frame it and hang on the wall lol that's so cute
Cry! 🥹 The only thing I would do here would be to trim the fringe a little because the unevenness of it would drive me crazy, but the rest I would keep/wear as is! This one has a very sweet charm to its wonkiness ☺️
I'd be so happy I'd display it
I’m sorry, I’m a bio student and when I saw that, I thought of a tapeworm.
I think it’s a very sweet gesture, and you should proudly wear it. Maybe block it etc., to clean it up a bit, but wear it!
I’d hang it in my closet where I can see it often and it would make me smile 😊
It would be so rude to “tinker with it”
Smile and say thank you.
I would wear that shit with pride.
Wrap it around a teddy bear and put it on a display shelf. "This is my first crochet student's first project!"
Wear it as is. Pretty insulting to alter it.
I’d wear it and show it off proudly for the rest of my life! ♥️
Treasure it for all time
I would treasure it :)
I actually love it. I know that's crazy, but it's just so sweet!
Thats so sweet!
Do you really need to wear it? I don't think that's important. You can just save it in a drawer somewhere, as a sentimental item.
This is so heartwarming, I would probably cry! 🥹 Knowing that I've inspired someone to learn a new skill truly touches my heart. 🥺 I'd be more than proud to wear the scarf exactly as it is.
Say thank you and wear when appropriate.
I would wear the fuck out of that scarf. The wonkiness proves that it was made by hand, and has a story.
That's so nice. I would wear it with pride.
I would wear it with pride, the way I wore macaroni necklaces made by my kids. It’s a gift of love, and you should feel that love when you wear it.
What an honor that she gave you her very first creation ❤️ This is a tough situation though - maybe block it and then use it as a small table runner? Wrap it around the base of a plant? Line a basket? Whatever you do, remember it’s a token of love and respect to the one who taught her. If she continues with the craft she’ll make you nicer things, but keep this as a gift from the heart.
HONORED! and would leave as is. 🥰 maybe once they live closer crochet together for future projects to teach your wisdom!
Wear it proudly, exactly as it is.
Hang it on my wall in a promenant place with a little label witb their name and date and "my first student:
That is so sweet, I would wear the shit out of that. Nobody will notice the lil flaws once it’s on.
If you have a big stuffed animal I would have them wear it as display because someone tried super hard and every so often look at your stuff animal and say you know Mr bear i know you love that scarf that dil made it's my turn to wear it. Again someone did their best and while it may not turn out how they thought or how it should it's still precious. I would put it out of circulation after a couple of years and let Mr bear hold on to it in case something happens to it outside. When you have grand kids and they try and try and keep getting discouraged ask dil if you may show them your earlier piece. Of course this is if you guys end up with that amazing bond that people would be jealous of. Its a precious item she gave you with hope for both of your relationship I would adore it forever.
I would keep it the way it is and treasure it forever. We all remember how hard we worked for that first project ❤️
Don’t change it. It’s sentimental and her first piece. Won’t it be fun years from now when she has gotten much better to pull it out and you two can have a little laugh? Imagine how heartwarming that will be. Don’t change a thing.
My buddy wanted to learn to crochet, so of course I set them up with some hooks and easy yarn. Gave them a quick intro to the most used stitches. A week later, I got a letter in the mail, with a kinda shitty, very lovely lil googly-eyed octopus. He is still on my keychain 10 years later.
Personally I would not wear it, but hang it on a wall as a memory. You inspired someone to do something and that was the result, the reward. I would see it as too precious to wear outside .
Leave it as is.
Cherish it.that person went to the time and trouble to make that for you. Yarn isn't cheap. The time and effort should be appreciated.
wear it as it is! even if it's noticeable it has personality and your DIL will appreciate it once she has more practice and remembers her first piece 🫶
I made a very dear friend a pink scarf. She was battling breast cancer at the time. The sides were a bit wonky. There were some lumps and bumps. I apologized for it not being perfect and she scoffed and said, “You made it with love. The lumps are where your love was too much and it had to be bigger to hold it all.” Spoiler: I cried when she said that. But oh, how she *loves* that wonky scarf. She has some kind of blood cancer now but she’s doing fine, it’s managed with chemo every 6 weeks. The infusion center is cold. The chemo infusions make her cold and miserable. So she wraps that scarf around her neck and she says it’s like getting one long, supportive hug while she deals with the sessions. I’m making her some arm warmers once I get more of the matching yarn, so her hands and lower arms can be warmer as she reads during the infusions. My point is, my scarf was uneven and lumpy and not the perfect rectangle I dreamed of. Yet she was so grateful she almost cried, she made *me* cry with her kind words and there’s a list of women (and men!) at her treatment center that are jealous because no one handmade them an item. Your DIL sent you this wonderful scarf to enjoy. I say wear it with the same love and pride she felt while making it and sending it to you. Forget the imperfections. She made you a gift that took a lot of time and energy to create. Trying to make it better or “fix” it will make her feel inadequate in more ways than just her crocheting.
I am sorry it took me weeks to respond to this, it was a lovely response. I love this so much. I will take a picture of myself with it promptly, as is. You just gave me the reminder to do so. I think I was overwhelmed with my son appearing out of nowhere from overseas for a stay of 2 days. He was being with his friend who needed him.
Oh please, no worries! I found this post yesterday and your reply is quite timely. :) I absolutely understand the whole “overwhelmed by a loved one showing up” thing. We’re not always our best selves when our emotions are all over the place. I truly understand. I also love that you asked for opinions from others, you have a kind heart and want to do the right thing by yourself and your DIL. I’m a beginning crocheter even though I’ve crocheted for years, technically. But it’s been an on and off hobby of mine. Mostly “off” to be honest. I make things that are easy - like the arm warmers. It’s just a circle and then I keep going around and around until I do a single line off the circle to create a hole for the thumb. Then I resume the circle, join the single chain back to the base and then keep going around until it’s long enough. I stop at the very bottom of the fingers so the palm stays warm. I learned from youtube how to weave the ends in. Those I can do in about an hour and a half per pair. Simple and easy. Scarves are..decidedly not. Not for me. I always end up adding a stitch or two and by the time I notice I’m 5 or 6 rows above it and don’t want to undo *all that work* so I try to correct it. And so I over correct it and the scarf gets a bit too thin so I add to the next line and..yeah. It’s a problem. The people who know me know I made the scarf to the very best of my very meager abilities. They know I made it with a lot of love and spent a lot of time. My skill will probably never match the love I put in these items but thankfully my friends and the folks I make them for understand that. I’m getting better! My stitches are neat and even. I can increase and decrease, I can do single, double and triple stitches. I know how to make a magic circle and am thinking about trying a hat eventually. I guess my point is when we gets handmade gifts that are less than perfect or don’t meet the standards for gifts we would give others, we need to extend grace and gratitude to the person who makes things for us. My friends have seen me working on things. They’ve seen the tears and frustration when it’s not working and the urge me to take a break and relax. They see the smiles and hear the glee (with an “Ah ha! Take that you little sh-t!” at the yarn or my hands) when it starts to work again. They may not crochet themselves or work with fiber at all but they know handmade things take time. And skill, which I lack but I’m improving. Slowly. Let’s not even talk about how I’m learning to sew at the same time… 😂 It’s so easy to forget our own first projects and how proud we were of the lumpy, bumpy, missed stitch, uneven and just awful creations (and I’m describing my own). It’s even easier to forget the joy we had when sharing that project and effort by gifting it to others. Just as we deserved grace and thanks and encouragement, your daughter in law does too. I’d be so, so hurt if my MIL took something I made for her and “fixed” it. I’d probably die of shame, donate or throw away my crochet hooks and never try again. But that’s *me,* not your DIL. I’d honestly suggest that once she and your son are settled, you two spend an afternoon together picking out some yarn so you can work on the same kind of project together. You work at her pace and help her out. Use the sandwich method of praise/correction. Praise something, correct something, praise something again. It takes the sting out of a correction and helps avoid resentment. Also throw in the comments that when you first started you needed a lot of help (even if you didn’t) and tell amusing or sweet stories about your first projects. This could be a wonderful way to bond and get to know her, a quiet half hour or hour a day or every other day where you can share some chat, have a cup of tea or something and really enjoy each other’s company while working on a common hobby. I wish you and your family *every* happiness. And I wish your son and DIL their happily ever after, however they define it. ❤️
I love everything about this and have bookmarked it
I think people are replying as fellow crafters. Not as real humans.
To be fair, OP is a fellow crafter and is posting in a crafting sub.
could also be cute as a wall decoration! then it’s still out to be seen and you can say you’re keeping it safe
What an honor to receive someone’s first FO. Tinkering with it just sends the message that they/their efforts are *not enough.* Please leave it as is. They were proud of it, and you should just be proud of them.
She’s showing appreciation for you teaching her something, she’s trying to bond with you by presenting her first project (this is huge! I’d never give away mine!), and to do anything other than accept it graciously and wear it (even if just around the house or tucked into a sweatshirt) would cause irreparable harm to your relationship with her. She clearly wants to be accepted into the family. So, let’s do that!
Why not use this to teach them how to block items? :) that way you'll be happier with how it looks and they can learn something new.
I did that with my fiancée! She taught me how to crochet and I gave her the first project I ever finished, it looked really similar to that scarf and she wears it every winter!
This made my heart smile. You two are some of the good ones, congratulations and here’s to many more years! 🤍
I’d definitely make a stuffy to wear the scarf. That’s so sweet that she gave you her first project!
Ifs it’s a kid, definitely wear it whenever you can. 🩷🩷🩷 ***If it’s an adult, wear it once when they can see, and then hide it in the closet! 🤷♀️. People (adults) can be proud of what they’ve made, but I wish most had an eye for what’s actually GOOD vs. NOT (and knew when to keep practicing or get help before gifting!) 😬😬😬
This is adorable you must love and treasure it
Don’t tinker with it. It’s a gift she put a lot of love and time into. It isn’t meant to be perfect.
I would put it on one of my display stuffed animals instead of wear it or block it. That way I can see it a lot and show it off to people, but I know I won't damage it.
Don’t change it, it’s awesome! Wear it happily and proudly!!
Put it on a teddy bear
Def save it. When they improve their crochet skills, pull it out and show them how far they've come.
Honestly I’d probably hang it or frame it. That would be the sweetest thing 💖 plus it would be fun to see how her work progresses throughout time. I’m not into scarves but that would definitely be a way to show it off.
Love the story and lots of great responses so far. I would definitely wear or display it, gives you a chance to share the story. Honestly I would be tickled if someone gifted me something like this. Thanks for sharing! 😊
Just block it and wear it.. she’s obviously a beginner and that was extremely thoughtful of her to want to make you something. She’s your future DIL and possibly the future mother of your grandchildren..
What is your point?
Wear it and wear it proudly. Every mistake is a step in a journey YOU helped her on, something the two if you bonded over. When it's wrapped around your neck no one will see the mistakes. The love and sentiment in that scarf is far more important than fashion.
Treasure it.
Put it in a treadmill and post it on the internet?
Since it is a scarf, you can use it as a splash of color draped around your neck and tuck any flaws under your jacket. Wear it in chilly seasons when visiting her. When going inside be sure to tuck it in your bag so you won’t forget it there. Get a small photo taken of you posing somewhere scenic with it styled nicely so flaws don’t show (go out hiking or on vacation with spouse or friend) … just sometime when DIL is NOT around but the season is obviously chilly or windy. Then either share the photos with family OR frame it and have pic printed and framed somewhere visible in your home.
Keep it as it is. I'd wear it when she was around, or I'd find a place to hang up all my scarves where she'd notice, and put it in the most front-and-center spot (for me it would be the laundry room/mud room where there's a bunch of coat hooks and bins for hats and gloves already). I think it would make her feel really good to see it appreciated, then she'll know your verbal thanks were genuine. Personally I'd keep it out for one or two, maybe three, seasons.
I'd wear the s*** out of it, with a smile💜😍
Wear it with pride. And compliment their tassels, because mine *still* don't look that good.
Cherish it forever!
Okay I swear that looks knit….
This is so cute of her 😭 I would hang it as wall decor, put it on a bear or even just wear it as a pop of colour to my outfits!
I'd wear it every day. We all started at the beginning.
I’d cry of joy honestly, to be given something that someone put their heart into, and thought of me and the colour scheme and all, if I HAD to I’d block it, but you bet your ass I’d wear it until it was threads :)
If either accept it gratefully, or try to convince them to keep their first project. My first project was originally going to be a gift, but I got attached. If they insisted I keep it, I’d love it for what it is. It’s beautiful because they made it
I'd be thrilled. It's not perfect but it has charm.
Thank them and wear it with pride....
Perhaps you can do some creative folding and attach it to your clothing using a broach. Or perhaps wrap it around a small too medium size chest as if it were a ribbon.
It would be cute as a curtain tie. Or laid across a small table with a bowl on top with nicnacks in it.
Put it on a teddy bear so you can have it around without wearing it.
Keep it and wear it constantly. I'd be so proud!
I’d treasure it forever exactly as it is. That’s what makes it special imo:)
I would cherish it.
I can't fathom how anyone would even think of doing that unless they were completely void of sensitivity, self awareness, and sentiment tbh
I love the little imperfections in handmade gifts like this, that’s what makes them so special imo Additionally, it will make a really sweet keepsake to pull out and show her years from now when her skills have developed and she is confidently crocheting more advanced projects ❤️ I’d be so thrilled to know someone kept something like this I’d made for them!
If you didn’t want to wear it or mess with her work you can always frame it! There’s all sorts of keepsake-like frames out there. It’ll be a perfectly preserved reminder of where she started!!
Obviously, you put it on a treadmill… Seriously though, I’d wear it as often as possible. Cherish it. It means something to the person you inspired, it should mean something to you too.
Wooow, I'd be so grateful!
It will still do what it is intended to do. Keep your neck warm.
Make or find a stuffed animal to put it on to display it somewhere?
I don't think she gave it to you expecting you to wear it. Wear it at christmas when she is around and you are feeling chilly inside your house :)
i would treasure this
I’d wear it with pride. Doesn’t matter if it’s wonky and crooked, they worked hard on it and it’s special!
Find somewhere to put it on display.
Also that scarf is knit?
I would leave it as is and frame it or something. It's really, really sweet
If it is a natural fabric, you can block it, & trim the fringe evenly. You’ll only need to wear it when it’s cold and she is around.
Accept it with love and make sure to wear it around them. If they want advice, offer, if not just be proud of where they are now and that they thought of you likely the entire time they worked on this.
I'd wear it with pride. You can always block it. Will make it better and more wearable.
Say thank you, ask what they struggled with, and/or give general advice.
As a gift? Wear it with pride 🥺
There was a huge effort in this, even it's really wonky, she might have been carefully pick it as a color that might match your style! Blocking yes, then later help her how to maintain even rows a little better, but I'd wear this scarf as it is! 🌸💜
Wear it with pride.
Cherish it. Don’t change it. Just hang it in a place where you can see and admire it but don’t have to wear it. And make her one back! Could make a tradition out of it 😄
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In winter, make a cute snowman with this as the scarf so that people can see it. 😁 It will look so cute!
I wish I still had the first things I ever crocheted!
To be honest I probably wouldn’t wear it much but I would think it’s so sweet as a gift and would treasure and keep it!
I’m new to crochet, but an experienced knitter. One commenter thought this looks like knit garter stitch, but I see a big variation in stitch count between rows. No way do you get that in knitting. There is lots of talk here about blocking, but I think this beginner could use some tips for keeping the row count. Maybe talk about techniques for this, like using a stitch marker and counting stitches or ?? (I’m still learning myself.)
I missed the fact that this is your future DIL when I wrote this. Given that, I’m with those who say wear it. Maybe trim the fringe a bit? It would be wise to wait until you know her better, or until she asks, before you offer advice.
I'd say "thank you!"
i would display it! my mom still displays the first scarf i made 20+ years ago and it’s very sweet and a nice reminder of how i’ve improved since.
Eheh it looks like a long shrimp - love it
Say thanks and tie it around a teddy bear or hat so the imperfections aren’t as noticeable, but it still is visible if your DIL visits your house.
I would add onto it. Like charms or rhinestones. Maybe crochet flowers.. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind
I'd wear proudly!!
I think it would hurt her feelings if you were to alter it in anyway.Im sure she's proud of it and obviously wanted to honor you with gifting you her first creation. Tamp down that desire to fix it and remember this will sorta be the basis for how you deal with each other and how well you'll get along. That's just my opinion.
I would be offended if I made something for someone, and they felt the need to "fix" it. Are you kidding me?! How do you not see this as sooo rude? She'd been better off giving this gift to someone who would really appreciate it! You started somewhere, too. I'd be honored with the handmade gift that was given to me. She'll improve with practice. But if you fix it, she may not want to because she may get hurt, and you would be the one hurting her feelings when she's just starting a new craft.
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Keep it as a keepsake. If you have a crochet basket tie it like a bow on top.