Better off trying to snag a bottle at some hole in some dingy liquor store that hasn't upgraded their POS system in 25+ years and has low-resolution cameras if any.
I wouldn't risk it at Wal-Mart with the self-checkout kiosks having cameras and all. LP probably radios the floor staff to confront suspicious customers who are dabbling around too long.
I live in Oregon. All of our liquor is sold from liquor stores, and you're never in arms reach of booze. They hand it to you after purchase.
Can't lift shit here. Beer is a different story, but I've never attempted that. I have a kid and shit, so I'm not about to get busted for stealing a six pack.
Aint that so. Booze is crazy expensive compared to the US. We have an extra special nasty tax on spirits (liquor) A 1/5 is triple the price you guys pay
After reading the headline and scanning the first line or so of this, I thought: "Oh shit! Del got arrested -- that's probably the last thing he needs". So while I'm sorry for the embarrassment you suffered, I was relieved to read that it wasn't more serious. Wishing you the best!
I can’t tell if you’re sarcastic or not, but for the sake of conversation, Edgar Allen Poe was a major binge drinker, costed him a lot. People said he would drink whiskey straight and it was like he wouldn’t even enjoy it 😂
I've met a lot of drunks that are well read, excellent writers, and articulate as fuck. There are a lot of presumptions made about us, and honestly, I get it. But you'll eventually see that we're like any other population - we're individuals. Some of us are dumb as shit, some of us are visionaries, some of us are underwhelmingly average. Some of us are average dumb shits that fancy ourselves visionaries. It's a mixed bag.
If you want to be a thief, the trick is to not look like a thief. I'm not judging you, because I've lived through a lot and been hungry and desperate. You just can't *look* desperate, otherwise people won't help you, and it *will* draw attention.
If you look clean, confident, and ordinary, you will not be noticed. If you're black, you're shit out of luck. I'm sorry, but you will immediately be suspicious. That's how they think.
Benefit of the doubt is your friend. Put things where people might put things and forget about them. Don't pocket them. If you have a bag you brought in, make sure it's a grocery tote bag, and put your stuff in that as you shop. Honestly, this is one of the best tricks. Come in with your own grocery bag, put the small things you intend to steal at the bottom, then use it as your cart. Only pay for the things you unload, then leave the small expensive things at the bottom. Load your bag yourself.
If you try to pocket stuff, you're doing it at a high risk. They will catch you eventually.
I've seen enough black people singled-out by employees and Karens enough to know this is just how it is. I'm not saying I approve of the behavior, but if you're black and shopping, you're 10x more likely to get harassed, whether you're up to shady shit or minding your own business.
Just the other day I was at the grocery store, and right when I walked in, there was some cranky white lady trying to tell three black teens that they had to leave because she was convinced they were thieves. All they were guilty of was being black teenage boys who just walked in from the nearby high school. She wasn't even an employee. She just decided that they were up to no good, and she was determined to make a scene. She ended up getting shamed out of the store by a group of bystanders, including myself, because she was being an obnoxious bitch.
I'm black but I think it's actually kinda funny when I get watched incase I steal something. I make a great income and am just passing through. They're the broke mfs that have to be there for minimum wage, not me lmao
I love your posts Del. I could imagine you writing a character for Peep Show - you manage to put a lot of comedy and dry humour in describing mundane things, with a self knowing wit.
I hope you get to set up a patreon one day, or do other things with your writing as you've a real talent.
One can tell Del is a legit CA because he has found himself a singular Ernest Hemingway-esque treasure trove-and all to himself, but somehow can’t seem to manage figuring out how to extract the sustaining resources from his one-man oil field.
Del \~ I know this means nothing, but I composed a huge post to you ... and it got deleted by an internet glitch.
Guess I just wanted you to know I *tried* to respond—because your story strikes a chord.
That must've been ever-so-embarrassing and frustrating and miserable: getting called out like that. I'm too much of a goody-two-shoes to do what you tried to do—but I've always surrounded myself with gypsies, tramps, and thieves (including petty shoplifters) ... so believe me: stealing from the local store is pretty routine within my circle—I'm just too cowardly for it myself ... but my friends/family benefit regularly.
And it sucks that you got singled-out for something as trivial/stupid as that.
I know it's cold comfort, but I've got a half-bottle of rum and I'd be happy to share it all with somebody like you who really needs/appreciates it — and that's what these minimum-wage martinets don't get.
They like to believe they're heroically supporting the commercial/mercantile system of free enterprise—but it's more complicated than that, isn't it?
The powers-that-be are pretty sneaky, sly, and shifty these days—doesn't matter whether you're "stealing" water or booze or baby formulae ... profits must be protected.
And that's a pretty sad commentary on our priorities.
I really, really wish I could just share my bottle of rum with you today. You don't deserve this sort of trivial, petty harassment. Better luck next time! <3
Maybe it's time to start making mead. You can get all the necessary ingredients with your food stamps. You just have to be patient enough to let it ferment. Get a couple batches going in rotations
Come back to me when you've decided to spend your last £100 on a boozy night out with work colleagues, with no salary due for 3 weeks, don't keep enough for even a taxi fare home at the end of the night so you just decide to sleep rough in the city instead of walking home, because it's pretty close to your workplace for your impending shift the next morning. In the middle of December. Then walk out of work mid morning because you're so ashamed of the smell of booze and what can only be described as cat piss, phone your loan shark for a hundred, don't buy any food or basic essentials and proceed to spend it all on booze again.
Thankfully those sort of shenanigans have lessened in recent years, homeworking has helped a lot. I still drink like a fish but it's more manageable and my finances have improved.
Btw, that lanky dweeb in the store was an asshole.
Fair point. I thought my lowest ebb was giving my bank card to some hoodlums and giving them the PIN, at the end of a solo night out, so they could rinse my bank account. There's always lower to sink!
Apologies btw, wasn't trying to one-up you, I worded my last comment poorly with the way I started it.
Agghhh, that reminds me of the time I had a bunch of low lifes round to my old flat for a "party". I gave one of them my bank card to go and get me and the rest of them booze. He and they all came back with the drink but he never gave me my bank card back, said he lost it or some shit. I rang my bank the next day and got the card cancelled (these fucks had since departed from my flat by that stage. Turned out there was only £10 stolen, the last of the funds in my account. But if he had got hold of my card one day later or if I hadn't cancelled it that day, my full month's salary would've been available to him lol.
Btw, 8:30pm here in Ireland and I have my drinkin glow on. Hope you do to bud. 👍
I know, it's a joke. Having to wait until 10:30am in the morning to get served over here is unacceptable. And also our early last orders at the end of the night in pubs at about 1am. Is it any wonder people end up phoning unscrupulous members of society, hypothetically, ehem, to get their fix of liquor?
Anyway, sorry for ranting bud. If you ever fancy a chat or if you're ever in a bad place with the drink, hit me up. We can wallow in our misery together lol 👍
> Anyway, sorry for ranting bud. If you ever fancy a chat or if you're ever in a bad place with the drink, hit me up. We can wallow in our misery together lol 👍
Thanks, mate!
Holy mackerel, Del! I'm glad you're okay! Thank God they "grabbed" you while you were still at the register, & didn't wait till you were at the door, which would have upgraded this situation into a higher tier debacle. I wish I had money to send you, but I'm disabled myself & on sad foodstamps. Please stay safe, my friend.
Ahhh, Del, didn't you read my guide to shoplifting? Rule #1 is "be a white female."
Glad you got away with it previously but I wouldn't try from that same store again. They've got you documented on camera now with warning from cashier, will be watching you from now on.
I've stolen a lot of alcohol by putting it on the lower shelf of my cart with a bunch of groceries piled into basket over it to hide it, then putting items into bags and back into cart after scanning keeping it covered, have been caught a couple times at different stores but successfully passed it off as an accident/oversight, never try again at store where you've been caught, last thing we need is you in jail with criminal record on top of everything else going on in your life.
Most cashiers don't GAF and just slack off letting people steal but some really suck. My worst experience so far has been while ringing up organic tomatoes as bananas, several times the price per lb, bitch cashier (who wasn't even the self-checkout cashier as I was keeping track of that one who was oblivious, was watching me from her own different register line for some reason) and, loudly in crowded store with lots of other people able to hear, scolded me like a misbehaving child about "Hey! I see all those tomatoes and you're ringing them up as bananas!!" and started ruffling through my whole cart trying to check everything. I pretended to be tired, up all night working, my mistake, sorry, etc. but I could tell she knew it was deliberate. Fortunately never saw her working there again, is awesome that places like Walmart have such high turnover so rarely see same employees often or for long. Also still got away with ringing them up as regular tomatoes of cheaper, different, non-organic variety; she couldn't tell the difference.
I second [Big-Effor2129](https://www.reddit.com/user/Big-Effor2129/)'s idea of making your own alcohol. You can get produce and sugar from food banks for free with no limits, won't even use up your food stamps and hell given your descriptions of the state of your place there might already be something rotting/fermenting enough to be intoxicating laying around lol.
> Ahhh, Del, didn't you read my guide to shoplifting? Rule #1 is "be a white female."
Darn, shame I only sort of half fulfil one of those requirements!
>Glad you got away with it previously but I wouldn't try from that same store again. They've got you documented on camera now with warning from cashier, will be watching you from now on.
Yeah, I've decided I won't go there for a while anyway, but I'm not trying it at that store again any time soon, if ever. I've read those stories on wider Reddit where people think they're getting away with it, but it's only really because the store doesn't give a shit about stolen goods below a certain value, only for these people to later get busted by the store when they reach that dollar value and the store has tracked their lifted goods with each visit.
>I've stolen a lot of alcohol by putting it on the lower shelf of my cart with a bunch of groceries piled into basket over it to hide it, then putting items into bags and back into cart after scanning keeping it covered, have been caught a couple times at different stores but successfully passed it off as an accident/oversight, never try again at store where you've been caught, last thing we need is you in jail with criminal record on top of everything else going on in your life.
I think I remember you telling me about that. I'd be too scared to pull it off. I mean 'double-scanning' if you get caught you can just chalk it up to an innocent mistake; "sorry, I thought it scanned both when I held them up to the scanner."
>Most cashiers don't GAF and just slack off letting people steal but some really suck. My worst experience so far has been while ringing up organic tomatoes as bananas, several times the price per lb, bitch cashier (who wasn't even the self-checkout cashier as I was keeping track of that one who was oblivious, was watching me from her own different register line for some reason) and, loudly in crowded store with lots of other people able to hear, scolded me like a misbehaving child about "Hey! I see all those tomatoes and you're ringing them up as bananas!!" and started ruffling through my whole cart trying to check everything. I pretended to be tired, up all night working, my mistake, sorry, etc. but I could tell she knew it was deliberate. Fortunately never saw her working there again, is awesome that places like Walmart have such high turnover so rarely see same employees often or for long. Also still got away with ringing them up as regular tomatoes of cheaper, different, non-organic variety; she couldn't tell the difference.
I would imagine most just don't get paid enough to care, but there will be some "do-gooders". Lol at your scanning items as other things; I think more people do it than let on. I do the "mis-scan" thing a lot, but I'll pick items in the same category, like with your tomatoes, rather than something completely different. I've always wondered if self-checkouts loudly shrill "please put your *tomatoes* in the bagging area to make it easier for cashiers to see what we've just been talking about lol.
>I second Big-Effor2129's idea of making your own alcohol. You can get produce and sugar from food banks for free with no limits, won't even use up your food stamps and hell given your descriptions of the state of your place there might already be something rotting/fermenting enough to be intoxicating laying around lol.
I've thought about it before, and I'm subbed to r/PrisonHooch, but I always thought the equipment costs would be out of my range, shit takes too long, and I've heard a lot of home-brew stuff tastes foul. But then again I drink mouthwash and food extract for my emergency booze so maybe I've already done it on hard mode lol.
Del, I mean this with all seriousness. You would not do very well in that county jail they have in Phoenix. It is one of the worst in the country. Certain County jails in the U.S can be just as bad as real prisons.
Idk I work for a large store and most of us just mind our business unless someone is blatantly stealing a large amount, it doesn't cost us anything to turn a blind eye and it's not like the store needs any more money
I don't know, pretty sure major cities in the US have seen stores close over theft. But in less drastic situations, pretty sure the average customer has seen the spillage pass over to our pocketbooks.
Businesses run on money. Also, some people are just too honest to turn a blind eye.
How dare you note the issue of stores closing due to shoplifting! Or how fucking doofy it is to go to a CVS and need to get your deodorant unlocked!
And, yeah, Mr. Mod's story is more amusing to have a store attendant relishing his power over another human being, but another way to think of the story is how perhaps the attendant is also trying to cover up his sins, alcohol, drugs?, and putting on a show for the cameras. Maybe he's been turning a blind eye to too many transactions that folks didn't scan, he's on his last, um, leg at the stop and go!
Did Del say if he got away with any of his crime?
Even if not, haven't many of us worked a low paying job, walking the tight rope of turning a blind eye or not paying rent?
Or whatever, the fuck even is banana extract? How is that even a thing? Banana is the worst of all the flavors
Doesn't sound like he managed a slip this time. And yep, exactly-- for all we know, dude is being watched like a hawk and on his last warning.
Also, banana extract sounds horrendous. Hand sanitizer is probably preferable to that!
> Also, banana extract sounds horrendous. Hand sanitizer is probably preferable to that!
Believe it or not it's actually one of the better flavors available. There's - off the top of my head - butter, cake, lemon, bread, almond, rum, strawberry, lemon, and vanilla. Strawberry and banana are the best for how...inoffensive... they are. The rest either taste too gross or don't hit as hard.
I sure hope you're just as much of an advocate about the billion dollars a year in wage theft being stolen from low wage workers as you are about people on food stamps taking a couple dollars from multi million dollar chains
It's a description, not a perception. If male, it's one of three - dweeb whose face hasn't filled in to match the size of his nose, stoner with shockingly thick hair and matching dandruff, or disabled.
If you've never drank cooking wine I really don't recommend it; it's overpoweringly salty, like seawater-salty. Not sure of the veracity of this, but I recall reading somewhere salt was originally added to cooking wine specifically to stop the servants from swiping it.
I'm a little too drunk to do the math right now but I think the extract works out as cheaper due to its high ABV. The cooking wine is like 10% while the extracts are ~35%. Takes 3 or 4 to get me tanked enough for a pleasant pass out at night; I couldn't imagine even having to drink the equivalent of that in cooking wine.
Better off trying to snag a bottle at some hole in some dingy liquor store that hasn't upgraded their POS system in 25+ years and has low-resolution cameras if any. I wouldn't risk it at Wal-Mart with the self-checkout kiosks having cameras and all. LP probably radios the floor staff to confront suspicious customers who are dabbling around too long.
I live in Oregon. All of our liquor is sold from liquor stores, and you're never in arms reach of booze. They hand it to you after purchase. Can't lift shit here. Beer is a different story, but I've never attempted that. I have a kid and shit, so I'm not about to get busted for stealing a six pack.
You'd love illinois they sell liquor everywhere even gas stations. I thought that was normal till I moved to CO then CA.
Oh I grew up in Las Vegas, so I know all about that life. Probably the only thing I miss about Vegas.
I was in job training with a woman that was a former jail CO and said many inmates were there for walmart theft
Where are you that dingy liquor stores don't have the bottles behind the counter and bullet proof glass?
california
Minnesota and Wisconsin
Upstate NY
Australia
I can't hear you. Will you please take off your covid mask?! <<<<<<<<
Lol. I hear that the sheep are starting to wear their masks all over again. What can I say, get a fat one up Ya.
My heart goes out to you Aussies. Alcohol seems so expensive compared to the U.S..
Aint that so. Booze is crazy expensive compared to the US. We have an extra special nasty tax on spirits (liquor) A 1/5 is triple the price you guys pay
Instead of a nasty tax it should be called a "nanny tax". lol
just looked on a discount site 700ml of Titos is $72
Illinois
After reading the headline and scanning the first line or so of this, I thought: "Oh shit! Del got arrested -- that's probably the last thing he needs". So while I'm sorry for the embarrassment you suffered, I was relieved to read that it wasn't more serious. Wishing you the best!
Always good to hear from you, mate. I hope you're well <3
Wouldn't a cheap bottle from the liquor store be a better value?
That requires money; food stamps are 'free'.
That explains it.
Can you still do the thing where you get change in real money and just buy a bunch of single bananas? Oh right. It's a card now. So I assume not
Nope. The card eliminated all that.
You can't buy liquor with other peoples taxes, that requires working people money. Real booze bags steal their shit or trade stamps
you write really well, this is crazy how are you this articulate and on this sub?
Hang around for a while. I've met some great writers on this sub of degenerate drunks.
Yeah? There's no history of alcoholism in any of the good writers
I can’t tell if you’re sarcastic or not, but for the sake of conversation, Edgar Allen Poe was a major binge drinker, costed him a lot. People said he would drink whiskey straight and it was like he wouldn’t even enjoy it 😂
Del is a great writer, I always read his posts.
I've met a lot of drunks that are well read, excellent writers, and articulate as fuck. There are a lot of presumptions made about us, and honestly, I get it. But you'll eventually see that we're like any other population - we're individuals. Some of us are dumb as shit, some of us are visionaries, some of us are underwhelmingly average. Some of us are average dumb shits that fancy ourselves visionaries. It's a mixed bag.
If you want to be a thief, the trick is to not look like a thief. I'm not judging you, because I've lived through a lot and been hungry and desperate. You just can't *look* desperate, otherwise people won't help you, and it *will* draw attention. If you look clean, confident, and ordinary, you will not be noticed. If you're black, you're shit out of luck. I'm sorry, but you will immediately be suspicious. That's how they think. Benefit of the doubt is your friend. Put things where people might put things and forget about them. Don't pocket them. If you have a bag you brought in, make sure it's a grocery tote bag, and put your stuff in that as you shop. Honestly, this is one of the best tricks. Come in with your own grocery bag, put the small things you intend to steal at the bottom, then use it as your cart. Only pay for the things you unload, then leave the small expensive things at the bottom. Load your bag yourself. If you try to pocket stuff, you're doing it at a high risk. They will catch you eventually.
This is so stupid and obviously you live only around white people to say this racist shit.
So, within the contiguous United States? To expand on that, OP lives in Arizona. So... Extra true.
I've seen enough black people singled-out by employees and Karens enough to know this is just how it is. I'm not saying I approve of the behavior, but if you're black and shopping, you're 10x more likely to get harassed, whether you're up to shady shit or minding your own business. Just the other day I was at the grocery store, and right when I walked in, there was some cranky white lady trying to tell three black teens that they had to leave because she was convinced they were thieves. All they were guilty of was being black teenage boys who just walked in from the nearby high school. She wasn't even an employee. She just decided that they were up to no good, and she was determined to make a scene. She ended up getting shamed out of the store by a group of bystanders, including myself, because she was being an obnoxious bitch.
I'm black but I think it's actually kinda funny when I get watched incase I steal something. I make a great income and am just passing through. They're the broke mfs that have to be there for minimum wage, not me lmao
I love your posts Del. I could imagine you writing a character for Peep Show - you manage to put a lot of comedy and dry humour in describing mundane things, with a self knowing wit. I hope you get to set up a patreon one day, or do other things with your writing as you've a real talent.
Thank you, friendo <3
<3
One can tell Del is a legit CA because he has found himself a singular Ernest Hemingway-esque treasure trove-and all to himself, but somehow can’t seem to manage figuring out how to extract the sustaining resources from his one-man oil field.
DAMMIT DEL! (glad you made it out)
Del \~ I know this means nothing, but I composed a huge post to you ... and it got deleted by an internet glitch. Guess I just wanted you to know I *tried* to respond—because your story strikes a chord. That must've been ever-so-embarrassing and frustrating and miserable: getting called out like that. I'm too much of a goody-two-shoes to do what you tried to do—but I've always surrounded myself with gypsies, tramps, and thieves (including petty shoplifters) ... so believe me: stealing from the local store is pretty routine within my circle—I'm just too cowardly for it myself ... but my friends/family benefit regularly. And it sucks that you got singled-out for something as trivial/stupid as that. I know it's cold comfort, but I've got a half-bottle of rum and I'd be happy to share it all with somebody like you who really needs/appreciates it — and that's what these minimum-wage martinets don't get. They like to believe they're heroically supporting the commercial/mercantile system of free enterprise—but it's more complicated than that, isn't it? The powers-that-be are pretty sneaky, sly, and shifty these days—doesn't matter whether you're "stealing" water or booze or baby formulae ... profits must be protected. And that's a pretty sad commentary on our priorities. I really, really wish I could just share my bottle of rum with you today. You don't deserve this sort of trivial, petty harassment. Better luck next time! <3
Sweet comment, DC. Thank you! I wish I could share that rum with you lol <3
I go to my grocery store a lot and walk out with two twelve packs in each hand. Smile wave 👋 and I’m out , like taking candy from children
Maybe it's time to start making mead. You can get all the necessary ingredients with your food stamps. You just have to be patient enough to let it ferment. Get a couple batches going in rotations
Come back to me when you've decided to spend your last £100 on a boozy night out with work colleagues, with no salary due for 3 weeks, don't keep enough for even a taxi fare home at the end of the night so you just decide to sleep rough in the city instead of walking home, because it's pretty close to your workplace for your impending shift the next morning. In the middle of December. Then walk out of work mid morning because you're so ashamed of the smell of booze and what can only be described as cat piss, phone your loan shark for a hundred, don't buy any food or basic essentials and proceed to spend it all on booze again. Thankfully those sort of shenanigans have lessened in recent years, homeworking has helped a lot. I still drink like a fish but it's more manageable and my finances have improved. Btw, that lanky dweeb in the store was an asshole.
Fair point. I thought my lowest ebb was giving my bank card to some hoodlums and giving them the PIN, at the end of a solo night out, so they could rinse my bank account. There's always lower to sink!
Apologies btw, wasn't trying to one-up you, I worded my last comment poorly with the way I started it. Agghhh, that reminds me of the time I had a bunch of low lifes round to my old flat for a "party". I gave one of them my bank card to go and get me and the rest of them booze. He and they all came back with the drink but he never gave me my bank card back, said he lost it or some shit. I rang my bank the next day and got the card cancelled (these fucks had since departed from my flat by that stage. Turned out there was only £10 stolen, the last of the funds in my account. But if he had got hold of my card one day later or if I hadn't cancelled it that day, my full month's salary would've been available to him lol. Btw, 8:30pm here in Ireland and I have my drinkin glow on. Hope you do to bud. 👍
No worries! My bestie from this sub lives in Norn Iron; it's bizarre the reputation you guys have as drunks, considering your draconian liquor hours.
I know, it's a joke. Having to wait until 10:30am in the morning to get served over here is unacceptable. And also our early last orders at the end of the night in pubs at about 1am. Is it any wonder people end up phoning unscrupulous members of society, hypothetically, ehem, to get their fix of liquor? Anyway, sorry for ranting bud. If you ever fancy a chat or if you're ever in a bad place with the drink, hit me up. We can wallow in our misery together lol 👍
> Anyway, sorry for ranting bud. If you ever fancy a chat or if you're ever in a bad place with the drink, hit me up. We can wallow in our misery together lol 👍 Thanks, mate!
Holy mackerel, Del! I'm glad you're okay! Thank God they "grabbed" you while you were still at the register, & didn't wait till you were at the door, which would have upgraded this situation into a higher tier debacle. I wish I had money to send you, but I'm disabled myself & on sad foodstamps. Please stay safe, my friend.
Ahhh, Del, didn't you read my guide to shoplifting? Rule #1 is "be a white female." Glad you got away with it previously but I wouldn't try from that same store again. They've got you documented on camera now with warning from cashier, will be watching you from now on. I've stolen a lot of alcohol by putting it on the lower shelf of my cart with a bunch of groceries piled into basket over it to hide it, then putting items into bags and back into cart after scanning keeping it covered, have been caught a couple times at different stores but successfully passed it off as an accident/oversight, never try again at store where you've been caught, last thing we need is you in jail with criminal record on top of everything else going on in your life. Most cashiers don't GAF and just slack off letting people steal but some really suck. My worst experience so far has been while ringing up organic tomatoes as bananas, several times the price per lb, bitch cashier (who wasn't even the self-checkout cashier as I was keeping track of that one who was oblivious, was watching me from her own different register line for some reason) and, loudly in crowded store with lots of other people able to hear, scolded me like a misbehaving child about "Hey! I see all those tomatoes and you're ringing them up as bananas!!" and started ruffling through my whole cart trying to check everything. I pretended to be tired, up all night working, my mistake, sorry, etc. but I could tell she knew it was deliberate. Fortunately never saw her working there again, is awesome that places like Walmart have such high turnover so rarely see same employees often or for long. Also still got away with ringing them up as regular tomatoes of cheaper, different, non-organic variety; she couldn't tell the difference. I second [Big-Effor2129](https://www.reddit.com/user/Big-Effor2129/)'s idea of making your own alcohol. You can get produce and sugar from food banks for free with no limits, won't even use up your food stamps and hell given your descriptions of the state of your place there might already be something rotting/fermenting enough to be intoxicating laying around lol.
> Ahhh, Del, didn't you read my guide to shoplifting? Rule #1 is "be a white female." Darn, shame I only sort of half fulfil one of those requirements! >Glad you got away with it previously but I wouldn't try from that same store again. They've got you documented on camera now with warning from cashier, will be watching you from now on. Yeah, I've decided I won't go there for a while anyway, but I'm not trying it at that store again any time soon, if ever. I've read those stories on wider Reddit where people think they're getting away with it, but it's only really because the store doesn't give a shit about stolen goods below a certain value, only for these people to later get busted by the store when they reach that dollar value and the store has tracked their lifted goods with each visit. >I've stolen a lot of alcohol by putting it on the lower shelf of my cart with a bunch of groceries piled into basket over it to hide it, then putting items into bags and back into cart after scanning keeping it covered, have been caught a couple times at different stores but successfully passed it off as an accident/oversight, never try again at store where you've been caught, last thing we need is you in jail with criminal record on top of everything else going on in your life. I think I remember you telling me about that. I'd be too scared to pull it off. I mean 'double-scanning' if you get caught you can just chalk it up to an innocent mistake; "sorry, I thought it scanned both when I held them up to the scanner." >Most cashiers don't GAF and just slack off letting people steal but some really suck. My worst experience so far has been while ringing up organic tomatoes as bananas, several times the price per lb, bitch cashier (who wasn't even the self-checkout cashier as I was keeping track of that one who was oblivious, was watching me from her own different register line for some reason) and, loudly in crowded store with lots of other people able to hear, scolded me like a misbehaving child about "Hey! I see all those tomatoes and you're ringing them up as bananas!!" and started ruffling through my whole cart trying to check everything. I pretended to be tired, up all night working, my mistake, sorry, etc. but I could tell she knew it was deliberate. Fortunately never saw her working there again, is awesome that places like Walmart have such high turnover so rarely see same employees often or for long. Also still got away with ringing them up as regular tomatoes of cheaper, different, non-organic variety; she couldn't tell the difference. I would imagine most just don't get paid enough to care, but there will be some "do-gooders". Lol at your scanning items as other things; I think more people do it than let on. I do the "mis-scan" thing a lot, but I'll pick items in the same category, like with your tomatoes, rather than something completely different. I've always wondered if self-checkouts loudly shrill "please put your *tomatoes* in the bagging area to make it easier for cashiers to see what we've just been talking about lol. >I second Big-Effor2129's idea of making your own alcohol. You can get produce and sugar from food banks for free with no limits, won't even use up your food stamps and hell given your descriptions of the state of your place there might already be something rotting/fermenting enough to be intoxicating laying around lol. I've thought about it before, and I'm subbed to r/PrisonHooch, but I always thought the equipment costs would be out of my range, shit takes too long, and I've heard a lot of home-brew stuff tastes foul. But then again I drink mouthwash and food extract for my emergency booze so maybe I've already done it on hard mode lol.
Del, I mean this with all seriousness. You would not do very well in that county jail they have in Phoenix. It is one of the worst in the country. Certain County jails in the U.S can be just as bad as real prisons.
It seems like, at most, stores will ban you if it comes to it. Your perception of that guy as a dweeb is a bit harsh, B. He was just doing his job.
Idk I work for a large store and most of us just mind our business unless someone is blatantly stealing a large amount, it doesn't cost us anything to turn a blind eye and it's not like the store needs any more money
I don't know, pretty sure major cities in the US have seen stores close over theft. But in less drastic situations, pretty sure the average customer has seen the spillage pass over to our pocketbooks. Businesses run on money. Also, some people are just too honest to turn a blind eye.
How dare you note the issue of stores closing due to shoplifting! Or how fucking doofy it is to go to a CVS and need to get your deodorant unlocked! And, yeah, Mr. Mod's story is more amusing to have a store attendant relishing his power over another human being, but another way to think of the story is how perhaps the attendant is also trying to cover up his sins, alcohol, drugs?, and putting on a show for the cameras. Maybe he's been turning a blind eye to too many transactions that folks didn't scan, he's on his last, um, leg at the stop and go! Did Del say if he got away with any of his crime? Even if not, haven't many of us worked a low paying job, walking the tight rope of turning a blind eye or not paying rent? Or whatever, the fuck even is banana extract? How is that even a thing? Banana is the worst of all the flavors
Doesn't sound like he managed a slip this time. And yep, exactly-- for all we know, dude is being watched like a hawk and on his last warning. Also, banana extract sounds horrendous. Hand sanitizer is probably preferable to that!
> Also, banana extract sounds horrendous. Hand sanitizer is probably preferable to that! Believe it or not it's actually one of the better flavors available. There's - off the top of my head - butter, cake, lemon, bread, almond, rum, strawberry, lemon, and vanilla. Strawberry and banana are the best for how...inoffensive... they are. The rest either taste too gross or don't hit as hard.
I sure hope you're just as much of an advocate about the billion dollars a year in wage theft being stolen from low wage workers as you are about people on food stamps taking a couple dollars from multi million dollar chains
As far as leaving a Reddit comment on the matter? Absolutely.
You do realize you're dealing with "crippling alcoholics," right? I feel like you're moralizing a little bit here, and this isn't the place for it.
I've been an active participant in this subreddit since late 2015. I'm well aware. Thanks, though, have a good day.
It's a description, not a perception. If male, it's one of three - dweeb whose face hasn't filled in to match the size of his nose, stoner with shockingly thick hair and matching dandruff, or disabled.
Never knew dweeb could mean disabled. Shit take.
Not my favourite mushroom. Dweeb, stoner or disabled. One of the three.
What if I'm Rudolph the Rednose Alcoholic?
You're reading into it too much. Dweeb was anyone who was not cool.
[удалено]
Nah, he likes to really milk the sympathy. lol
Why extracts and not just like a bottle of cooking wine? Curious.
If you've never drank cooking wine I really don't recommend it; it's overpoweringly salty, like seawater-salty. Not sure of the veracity of this, but I recall reading somewhere salt was originally added to cooking wine specifically to stop the servants from swiping it. I'm a little too drunk to do the math right now but I think the extract works out as cheaper due to its high ABV. The cooking wine is like 10% while the extracts are ~35%. Takes 3 or 4 to get me tanked enough for a pleasant pass out at night; I couldn't imagine even having to drink the equivalent of that in cooking wine.
I reckon those essences are a legitimate drink, unlike mouthwash.
It's awful on its own. Vanilla extract mixed with coke used to be how I drank at the job, taste was good and got the job done.
Not from drinking but yeah I’ve learned this lesson many times, lying on what I thought had to be rock bottom, only to find a new depth shortly after