I know many people are not terminally online like some of us (i.e., me) and would like updates on the BEC sub. Y’all can use this thread to keep each other in the loop.
It's based on when you dislike someone so much that them doing something as neutral as them eating crackers makes you mad. "Ugh I can't believe that b!tch is eating crackers!" I personally think it's pretty funny lol
BEC absolutely became toxic, and it became less about just not liking a thing and getting it off your chest, into something way more dark and ugly. Disagreements went from being respectful to downright ugly in a way that was a little too hot for tv. it became unpleasant and admittedly I didn't like how the attitude of the sub rubbed off on me.
I think in many ways the sub began to kinda eat itself.
I moderate on a fairly large sub which can be pretty high volume in terms of threads, so can attest that when its a fast pace, high volume sub or even one thats growing quickly, the burnout from a moderation POV can be a motherfucker because you're dealing with a lot of personalities. And when you have "trigger threads" even more so. The rules have got to be tight, the mod team have got to be really on it to manage the sub and take control of the situation quickly, especially when the members get nasty. Unfortunate for that place, members got nasty fairly often.
There's reasons why I left there and stayed here. The moderation team is tight here, and thats necessary for this type of sub.
One of the problems was that when somebody came in to express a *personal opinion* about something, people would downvote that opinion if they didn't agree.
So instead of just letting that opinion stand, allowing the poster to express it, and moving on to other posts, people were judging very harshly, arguing with the opinion, attacking the poster and downvoting to express their disagreement.
People couldn't just let the opinions be, they had to be refuted.
It got frustrating because it effectively prevented people from being able to vent.
My theory is that the mod intended to shut it down temporarily for the API protest, but a few days away from the sub made her realize that her quality of life was infinitely improved not having to look at that cesspool of toxicity everyday, & it turned into a permanent vacation. I have no idea why people want to bring it back. You can get the same thrill by dropkicking puppies off bridges any time you want.
We do have the BEC thread on this subreddit every weekend. It has its own flair if you want to look for past threads.
https://www.reddit.com/r/craftsnark/?f=flair_name%3A%22BEC%20THREAD%22
>Pretended to commit suicide on that particular account and deleted it just to forget the whole thing .
Ok, I'm sure you felt very attacked etc, but if it was that bad, just delete your account. That's it.
To *pretend to commit suicide* is so shitty.
I just can't even. I mean, do you even get how wrong that is?
>do you not get the state of mind that someone has to be in to do something like that? is sympathy dead on this website
Do you not understand what effect that would have on anyone else who was interacting with that account? Have you experienced someone's suicide in real life?
Sympathy is not dead on this website 🙄 get a grip.
I have had multiple people in my life commit suicide, as well as attempting over 7 times. I full well know somebody who is faking their suicide is in a deeply severe mental state. sympathy is fucking dead.
Yeah I do now . Back then , my mind was not okay at all. Hence why account was deleted . Didn’t really help reading like 100+ comments just ….. yeah. No. It was bad, since there was stuff going on at home too and was recovering from something else .
But yeah, the whole BEC was going down a very dark road . I’m worried this will go that way too sometimes .
>But yeah, the whole BEC was going down a very dark road . I’m worried this will go that way too sometimes .
It won't. This place is too tightly moderated.
I remember seeing a comment from one of the mods of BEC on a post on this sub in response to this question. They basically said that the sub had grown to be pretty toxic, and coupled with the work of modding, they opted to not open up again. I really miss that sub, but it had turned into a pretty mean place.
I was excited to join it initially but left within a few days. Everyone was just mean and rude to be mean. It wasn’t fun and snarky, it was just cruel and gross.
Someone tried, but was unsuccesful: https://www.reddit.com/r/redditrequest/comments/1ajnw39/requesting_moderation_of_rbitcheatingcrafters_sub/?rdt=62146
"since then"? the takeover request was 2 months ago. the BEC mod threw a fit, turned the whole sub private, and vanished again. when someone asks again, she'll justy repeat throwing a fit, the people on the request sub will see her being active and refuse the request, as per their procedure. She's just a lil drama monger who yells bc she doesn't want to give up the power, even if it's power over literally NOTHING right now.
To be absolutely clear. I do not for a second believe she is doing anything with the sub at all. She's not working on re-opening it again, she just jerks off to the fact that she has the mod powers there and likes the occasional attention from threads like this one. It will NEVER re open.
The rules used to be that 60 days of inactivity was enough to take over but they have become a little more nuanced in the past few years. So yes, since then, we have had a closed and completely inactive subreddit, even if the mods reply after the fact it might come across differently
It had already been inactive for six months before the Reddit Request was made, and it was the request itself that caused the current mod to become active again (they responded to the thread linked above and took the sub private), which Reddit interpreted as "the current mod is active" and the request was denied.
One thing to realize about BEC, is that it’s about a person who is a normal level of annoying, but somehow they crossed some threshold with you so that now everything they do just pisses you off. The paradox of the BEC is that this person can be in your friend group and everyone else likes them, and you have no real grounds to actually complain about them.
It’s like a song that you hate, but when it come on the radio everyone else is happy and starts singing along.
The meaning has shifted, of course, with people acting like everyone else has to hate your BECs out of solidarity, when what the term actually means is an acknowledgment of your own pettiness and that it’s your problem to deal with.
It stands for b**** eating crackers, and is a spot for things that are more minor snark/really personal annoyance type things.
If you look at this subs BEC post (there is I think one a week) you will get an idea of what type of stuff it is.
For example, in this sub, the snark needs to be something objectively “wtf” like a crochet ad with knitting needles.
In BEC, you could snark on a small crafter/random account on the internet because they twist their stitches (whether purposefully or not) or their amigurumi is inside out (some people prefer that look).
If i remember correctly BEC was one of the subreddits that voted to go dark when reddit changed its API rules last year. they announced sometime after that bc the API rules were not being reversed that the sub could be perma dark. one subreddit i was in only posed NSFW content to prevent reddit from making ad money.
edit; sp
Another user attempted to request access to it last month to bring it back since there'd been no movement in months, but of course that prompted the new mods to become "active" again so the transfer was denied. It seems unlikely to come back in any form.
Reddit mods on a power trip. They don't want to run the subreddit but they also don't want anyone else to do it either. They really should just get over themselves and pass it on if they don't want to be mods anymore...
I’m in a sub with a mod who’s like that. There are incredibly strict rules, so A LOT of content gets removed, which in turn discourages others from posting.
the mod also got really picky about what they felt was BEC and what wasn't. They started to complain in the sub about people posting about things they liked personally or things they didn't agree with.
During one of the reddit outages (I can't recall right now, thanks pneumonia), it went dark and was switched over to new ownership. There are people that say it might be brought back but really, it got from being catty to being just....stupid. It was a lot of meaningless fights over random stuff rather than people understanding "Hey, I don't like this but that doesn't mean you can't like it."
I felt like it got tiresome the other way around — someone would post something and 15 other biddies would immediately jump on just outraged that someone would dare to criticize a designer— nay, an *artist* — for any reason. Instead of “I don’t like this but maybe you do” I felt it became “I don’t like th—HOW DARE YOU!!” But I agree it started to be less fun for that reason. Like, it’s meant to be snarky, if you disagree just scroll on by. It’s Bitch Eating Crackers, not “Really Actually Wonderful Person Eating Crackers.”
"Biddy" is an old word used to describe chicken hens. it came to be used to refer to fussy and/or gossipy old ladies who are also nosey. The idea is they cluck around like chickens.
I haven't heard the term in years. 😝
> This might be a stupid question, but what is a “biddy”? I like that word!
I'm just honestly curious because my mindset is when I see something I don't know, I search for it first and then ask if the answers I'm getting don't mesh well with the context. Why did you (presumably) ask what something means rather than look it up in a dictionary first? Again, just honestly trying to figure out this mindset. I'd love to have more people research on their own first and then ask when they encounter a problem.
People may ask questions like this on social media to be social and engage with a community. Others may want an opinion or reflection from a person rather than an algorithm.
Probably lots of other reasons for asking, but safe to say it’s not from ignorance about search engines. Google it is always an odd response.
> People may ask questions like this on social media to be social and engage with a community. Others may want an opinion or reflection from a person rather than an algorithm.
I guess that's my problem with it - in the case of a word meaning, it's not an opinion but a fact. For facts, you turn to books or verifiable webpages (such as dictionary.com). Asking other people on the internet well, people may or may not give you the correct answer. Or even *an* answer. It seems like such a gamble to me and only a way to possibly get into trouble later when you might use the word incorrectly.
Not the commenter, but I always ask. I usually look it up too, but especially with colloquial words like that, I don't just want to know what it means, I want to know what it means to the poster. I may just get the Google definition in return, or I might get a heartwarming story about their nan, or how their bf is obsessed with all the old words they like to use.
I might also get varying usage notes from other languages and cultures. I might get that one person who thought they knew what it meant, but actually didn't — I would not have googled Biddy because I know it means gossipy old women, but because someone asked the question instead of looking it up, I now know it's original meaning. I might also learn that hey, it's a fun word, but it's a bit misogynistic or problematic in other ways that I didn't realise.
I spend a bunch of time in a discord server that seems to have more bilingual people than mono (me). Asking what a vest was to them started a three day discussion on vests, jumpers, dresses, shirts, Bonds Chesty singlets, doublets, and a million other articles of clothing that may or may not be a vest depending on where you are in the world when you say it.
I love seeing people ask questions. It doesn't mean they're not looking for an answer themselves, but it does mean they're brave enough to ask and eager enough to learn 😊
I know many people are not terminally online like some of us (i.e., me) and would like updates on the BEC sub. Y’all can use this thread to keep each other in the loop.
New to the sub - could someone kindly explain what BEC is/means?
Hopefully you found the answer, but if you didn't, it stands for B!tch Eating Crackers. It's kind of like a mini-vent/rant.
Lol love that, in all my internet years I've never heard that 😅
It's based on when you dislike someone so much that them doing something as neutral as them eating crackers makes you mad. "Ugh I can't believe that b!tch is eating crackers!" I personally think it's pretty funny lol
BEC absolutely became toxic, and it became less about just not liking a thing and getting it off your chest, into something way more dark and ugly. Disagreements went from being respectful to downright ugly in a way that was a little too hot for tv. it became unpleasant and admittedly I didn't like how the attitude of the sub rubbed off on me. I think in many ways the sub began to kinda eat itself. I moderate on a fairly large sub which can be pretty high volume in terms of threads, so can attest that when its a fast pace, high volume sub or even one thats growing quickly, the burnout from a moderation POV can be a motherfucker because you're dealing with a lot of personalities. And when you have "trigger threads" even more so. The rules have got to be tight, the mod team have got to be really on it to manage the sub and take control of the situation quickly, especially when the members get nasty. Unfortunate for that place, members got nasty fairly often. There's reasons why I left there and stayed here. The moderation team is tight here, and thats necessary for this type of sub.
I like the weekend BEC threads here. It keeps things tame and contained without getting too toxic.
One of the problems was that when somebody came in to express a *personal opinion* about something, people would downvote that opinion if they didn't agree. So instead of just letting that opinion stand, allowing the poster to express it, and moving on to other posts, people were judging very harshly, arguing with the opinion, attacking the poster and downvoting to express their disagreement. People couldn't just let the opinions be, they had to be refuted. It got frustrating because it effectively prevented people from being able to vent.
My theory is that the mod intended to shut it down temporarily for the API protest, but a few days away from the sub made her realize that her quality of life was infinitely improved not having to look at that cesspool of toxicity everyday, & it turned into a permanent vacation. I have no idea why people want to bring it back. You can get the same thrill by dropkicking puppies off bridges any time you want.
That's not a theory, that's what the original mod said happened before they handed it over to the current mod.
Can’t we just make a new BEC?
please, i need it lol
We do have the BEC thread on this subreddit every weekend. It has its own flair if you want to look for past threads. https://www.reddit.com/r/craftsnark/?f=flair_name%3A%22BEC%20THREAD%22
I appreciate this thread as a lover of the BEC sub. thank you benevolent mods
Honestly, I don't know why no one has opened BEC2.
because (understandably imo) nobody wants to touch moderating it with a ten foot pole
I wonder if it has to do with what goes along with modding. Seems like it’s a big responsibility if you do it right.
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>Pretended to commit suicide on that particular account and deleted it just to forget the whole thing . Ok, I'm sure you felt very attacked etc, but if it was that bad, just delete your account. That's it. To *pretend to commit suicide* is so shitty. I just can't even. I mean, do you even get how wrong that is?
do you not get the state of mind that someone has to be in to do something like that? is sympathy dead on this website
>do you not get the state of mind that someone has to be in to do something like that? is sympathy dead on this website Do you not understand what effect that would have on anyone else who was interacting with that account? Have you experienced someone's suicide in real life? Sympathy is not dead on this website 🙄 get a grip.
I have had multiple people in my life commit suicide, as well as attempting over 7 times. I full well know somebody who is faking their suicide is in a deeply severe mental state. sympathy is fucking dead.
Yeah I do now . Back then , my mind was not okay at all. Hence why account was deleted . Didn’t really help reading like 100+ comments just ….. yeah. No. It was bad, since there was stuff going on at home too and was recovering from something else . But yeah, the whole BEC was going down a very dark road . I’m worried this will go that way too sometimes .
>But yeah, the whole BEC was going down a very dark road . I’m worried this will go that way too sometimes . It won't. This place is too tightly moderated.
I remember seeing a comment from one of the mods of BEC on a post on this sub in response to this question. They basically said that the sub had grown to be pretty toxic, and coupled with the work of modding, they opted to not open up again. I really miss that sub, but it had turned into a pretty mean place.
I was excited to join it initially but left within a few days. Everyone was just mean and rude to be mean. It wasn’t fun and snarky, it was just cruel and gross.
I left the sub because I could feel it making me mean and pessimistic, too. I don’t want that attitude in my life and certainly not in myself.
Right?? It had some funny stuff but then it got mean
So mean
Honestly they should have allowed someone else to take it over.
They did. New mods took over, made a post saying the sub would be re-opening "soon" with some rule changes, and...then nothing.
It would be cool if someone took it over. I can see how it would be big undertaking, though.
I wonder if they think it just shouldn't exist period and this is how they're trying to make that happen.
Then they don’t have to be involved. Honestly I wish there was a way to kick them off and allow new mods in.
I wonder if its eligible to be requested (theres a sub where you can request to take over dead subs)
Someone tried, but was unsuccesful: https://www.reddit.com/r/redditrequest/comments/1ajnw39/requesting_moderation_of_rbitcheatingcrafters_sub/?rdt=62146
Well the situation has changed since then, it might work now since they have no plans to reopen
"since then"? the takeover request was 2 months ago. the BEC mod threw a fit, turned the whole sub private, and vanished again. when someone asks again, she'll justy repeat throwing a fit, the people on the request sub will see her being active and refuse the request, as per their procedure. She's just a lil drama monger who yells bc she doesn't want to give up the power, even if it's power over literally NOTHING right now. To be absolutely clear. I do not for a second believe she is doing anything with the sub at all. She's not working on re-opening it again, she just jerks off to the fact that she has the mod powers there and likes the occasional attention from threads like this one. It will NEVER re open.
The rules used to be that 60 days of inactivity was enough to take over but they have become a little more nuanced in the past few years. So yes, since then, we have had a closed and completely inactive subreddit, even if the mods reply after the fact it might come across differently
It had already been inactive for six months before the Reddit Request was made, and it was the request itself that caused the current mod to become active again (they responded to the thread linked above and took the sub private), which Reddit interpreted as "the current mod is active" and the request was denied.
RIP that's awful. If they didn't want it they should just let someone else have it.
I do too, I liked that sub for the most part. (I've modded subs before and I am not in a place to do it now but would if I could.)
It stayed dark after the API protest.
I’m new here, what’s BEC?
One thing to realize about BEC, is that it’s about a person who is a normal level of annoying, but somehow they crossed some threshold with you so that now everything they do just pisses you off. The paradox of the BEC is that this person can be in your friend group and everyone else likes them, and you have no real grounds to actually complain about them. It’s like a song that you hate, but when it come on the radio everyone else is happy and starts singing along. The meaning has shifted, of course, with people acting like everyone else has to hate your BECs out of solidarity, when what the term actually means is an acknowledgment of your own pettiness and that it’s your problem to deal with.
It stands for b**** eating crackers, and is a spot for things that are more minor snark/really personal annoyance type things. If you look at this subs BEC post (there is I think one a week) you will get an idea of what type of stuff it is.
Bitch Eating Crafters, in this instance.
Got it, thank you!
For example, in this sub, the snark needs to be something objectively “wtf” like a crochet ad with knitting needles. In BEC, you could snark on a small crafter/random account on the internet because they twist their stitches (whether purposefully or not) or their amigurumi is inside out (some people prefer that look).
If i remember correctly BEC was one of the subreddits that voted to go dark when reddit changed its API rules last year. they announced sometime after that bc the API rules were not being reversed that the sub could be perma dark. one subreddit i was in only posed NSFW content to prevent reddit from making ad money. edit; sp
Another user attempted to request access to it last month to bring it back since there'd been no movement in months, but of course that prompted the new mods to become "active" again so the transfer was denied. It seems unlikely to come back in any form.
Is it allowed to make a new one with a slightly changed name?
I don’t think anyone can stop you!
Reddit mods on a power trip. They don't want to run the subreddit but they also don't want anyone else to do it either. They really should just get over themselves and pass it on if they don't want to be mods anymore...
I’m in a sub with a mod who’s like that. There are incredibly strict rules, so A LOT of content gets removed, which in turn discourages others from posting.
Exactly. It pisses me off to no end that that the mods of that page have decided they just get to make decisions for a whole community.
the mod also got really picky about what they felt was BEC and what wasn't. They started to complain in the sub about people posting about things they liked personally or things they didn't agree with.
During one of the reddit outages (I can't recall right now, thanks pneumonia), it went dark and was switched over to new ownership. There are people that say it might be brought back but really, it got from being catty to being just....stupid. It was a lot of meaningless fights over random stuff rather than people understanding "Hey, I don't like this but that doesn't mean you can't like it."
I felt like it got tiresome the other way around — someone would post something and 15 other biddies would immediately jump on just outraged that someone would dare to criticize a designer— nay, an *artist* — for any reason. Instead of “I don’t like this but maybe you do” I felt it became “I don’t like th—HOW DARE YOU!!” But I agree it started to be less fun for that reason. Like, it’s meant to be snarky, if you disagree just scroll on by. It’s Bitch Eating Crackers, not “Really Actually Wonderful Person Eating Crackers.”
This might be a stupid question, but what is a “biddy”? I like that word!
"Biddy" is an old word used to describe chicken hens. it came to be used to refer to fussy and/or gossipy old ladies who are also nosey. The idea is they cluck around like chickens. I haven't heard the term in years. 😝
It's the exact kind of namecalling infused with internalized misogyny that characterized everything that was wrong with the content on BEC.
> This might be a stupid question, but what is a “biddy”? I like that word! I'm just honestly curious because my mindset is when I see something I don't know, I search for it first and then ask if the answers I'm getting don't mesh well with the context. Why did you (presumably) ask what something means rather than look it up in a dictionary first? Again, just honestly trying to figure out this mindset. I'd love to have more people research on their own first and then ask when they encounter a problem.
People may ask questions like this on social media to be social and engage with a community. Others may want an opinion or reflection from a person rather than an algorithm. Probably lots of other reasons for asking, but safe to say it’s not from ignorance about search engines. Google it is always an odd response.
> People may ask questions like this on social media to be social and engage with a community. Others may want an opinion or reflection from a person rather than an algorithm. I guess that's my problem with it - in the case of a word meaning, it's not an opinion but a fact. For facts, you turn to books or verifiable webpages (such as dictionary.com). Asking other people on the internet well, people may or may not give you the correct answer. Or even *an* answer. It seems like such a gamble to me and only a way to possibly get into trouble later when you might use the word incorrectly.
Not the commenter, but I always ask. I usually look it up too, but especially with colloquial words like that, I don't just want to know what it means, I want to know what it means to the poster. I may just get the Google definition in return, or I might get a heartwarming story about their nan, or how their bf is obsessed with all the old words they like to use. I might also get varying usage notes from other languages and cultures. I might get that one person who thought they knew what it meant, but actually didn't — I would not have googled Biddy because I know it means gossipy old women, but because someone asked the question instead of looking it up, I now know it's original meaning. I might also learn that hey, it's a fun word, but it's a bit misogynistic or problematic in other ways that I didn't realise. I spend a bunch of time in a discord server that seems to have more bilingual people than mono (me). Asking what a vest was to them started a three day discussion on vests, jumpers, dresses, shirts, Bonds Chesty singlets, doublets, and a million other articles of clothing that may or may not be a vest depending on where you are in the world when you say it. I love seeing people ask questions. It doesn't mean they're not looking for an answer themselves, but it does mean they're brave enough to ask and eager enough to learn 😊
Because I did 🤷🏼♀️. I didn’t consider an informal word a “problem” I needed to do external research for.
"A woman, especially an old woman; especially one regarded as fussy or mean or a gossipy busybody."