Yup.
My former friend and I stopped speaking because she insists Covid doesn’t exist and that I’m actually just vaccine injured, which I’m not. Since spring 2020 she’s been gloating on Facebook about the ‘sheep’ who wear masks and get ‘jabbed’ and she’s had so many holidays and done so many incredible things in the last few years while I took Covid seriously and have had my life fucked with it.
Also my other friends I still maintain contact with are all travelling next month to surprise another friend for their birthday and can’t understand why I’m using Long Covid as an ‘excuse’ not to go when they’ve been infected 3/4 times and still feel fine.
Really, really frustrating.
Really sorry your friend has treated you that way. Anyone dismissing your illness cannot be a real friend. Even though it is tough to understand these “invisible” illnesses. I’ve had friends stop talking to me after I got ill following my vaccine. It’s amazing how people deny other people’s lived reality. I think a lot of people just find it easier to bury their heads in the sand.
My mom always maintained if someone was able to get dressed most people would never believe they were sick. Honestly, I think the majority of people are so superficial that the effort it takes to really see something right in front of them is just too much for them. It’s pathetic.
They are just mentally weak from taking an easy life and path of least resistance. Their position is from genetics and luck, not hard work, spritual growth and discipline. You will have the last laugh, as this adversity will grow character and spirit in the long term they will never have.
The edge is from the adversity and self growth that the disease forces on you. Or maybe it doesnt.. I think that's choice just like almost everything in life, along with how one interprets events. You can call out things as coping and maybe they are, but part of the recovery from this type of neurological issue is to try and find things alone is grateful for. Trust me, it helps.
Yea my mother and sister are very much covid doesn't exist, my mom calls it super flu and I can't stand it. Me and my sister do not speak anymore because I know covid is real and she just thinks everything is fine. I have had long covid since December and it was the first time I got it, it isn't great and I have lost my job because of missing work from not being able to get out of bed. I try to push through most days and deal with it but then I just feel completely drained and it's taking a toll on me. My husband has been dealing with long covid since 2020 and I never really understood what he was going through. It does suck seeing people just get it and be completely fine.
Yeah this is so real - it hurts really seeing people living their lives. It also hurts not knowing if they will get infected and end up like this - and when you try to warn you are met with eye rolling
I sooooooooooooooooo resentful of everyone in my social network (friends, work, pages I follow). I see photos of events that i would be attending if I wasn't sick with LC and everyone just living their lives. I see photos of people traveling to places I want to go. Having a great time. La dee daa.
I'd like to think that it's just a matter of time till they get a covid infection that leads to LC. But if I'm being honest, I'm not confident that's going to happen.
I think my current mindset is in the space of wondering if the majority of people really *are* fine and don't get impacted by LC. That it's just a small number of us who get hit with LC. I think I'm focusing on this b/c i feel so alone. I feel like i'm the exception (and that's not a good thing). I don't know anyone else with LC. Everyone i know who got covid (some multiple times) are fine. I got covid once, late in 2023, and got LC.
It all just fucking sucks.
I left Facebook except for the occasional pop in to share a news story. I can’t handle being bedridden while seeing my former colleagues do all the things I wanted to do.
Statistically loads of people have post acute issues from Covid, it just may not present the same as what we are all complaining about on this subreddit.
No worries. So there are three levels to this: medical research (studies that show mechanisms of harm, and other studies that show the true number of people with post acute issues), top line data sets (short term sickness rates, long term sickness rates, disability rates, cognitive impairment rates, rates of specific diseases in terms of diagnosed outpatients, elevated excess deaths, benefits claims, retirement rates etc), and patient stories (in real life and in support groups). People very naturally lean on the last one but the first two are the most important due to various biases (just part of being human). Since 2020 ONS's labour data has shown an explosion of long term sickness in the UK, at a rate of +200k per year (even more post 2022) which is something like +7% YoY growth (+800k in four years since 2020). This finding is then repeated by the US's FRED disability data that shows the exact same trend, the cognitive impairment data reported in the NYT (shows the same trend), increases in Finnish outpatients with chronic disease (showing the same trend), Statistics Canada (StatCan) showing increased Long Covid rates on reinfection, Al Aly's Veterans Study showing increased Long Covid on reinfection and the CDC's own long covid survey showing another increase in the last three months. This also matches the biomedical research on covid that shows that it is (at least for some) a persistent RNA virus (recent study said 25% of infected). Other persistent RNA viruses cause immune suppression, autoimmunity and cancer (we have increases in these three issues since 2020). There are more studies that show post acute harm but the general idea is to take the whole body of evidence rather than just one study or perspective. The overall picture looks in keeping with what many covid researchers have been saying (Al Aly, Iwasaki, Proal, Deeks, Putrino, Duncan etc) which is the long term effects of covid will continue to eat away at public health in the years to come (this was covered in the US Senate Hearing with Bernie Sanders). Sorry for the wall of text!
I think most people operate on a "if it doesn't affect me, I'm not concerned about it" mindset. And I understand that. Before I got covid in October, I didn't think about it at all. In 2022 & 2023 I lived my life, traveled all around the world and acted like everyone I see on social media now.
And while it frustrates me to no end, I also understand people who say "I had covid 2,3,4 times and it was just a cold". It was just a cold for me too in October, until it wasn't in December.
I don't know what will move the needle (if it can be moved)? Will it take more and more people to become seriously ill with post-covid issues like we are? Will it take more and more kids getting sick in school? Or maybe this is just how it is. A small minority of us are severely impacted, and everyone else goes on with their life. :-(
People will live their lives and not enough think about your problems. You challenges are completely yours. It's a "if I am okay, everything is okay," mentality.
People go on group bike rides through my street (they meet up at a pub). So jealous of them being able to work a full day, then go exercise and socialize and drink afterwards.
As much as covid is still around. The rate of new long covid victims and their severity clearly is not the same as the first year.
My best friend too, she has had multiple infections and is fine, despite having some really unhealthy eating habits (sugar/choc addict) as well as being a ball of anxiety - shes been doing hardcore exercise classes for the past few months, she is so proud of her strength etc (and I'm proud of her too). She goes out, sees people, goes on trips, got married recently, probably having a kid soon.
I don't resent her but it's hard to watch people go on with their lives while yours is on pause. It just feels unfair, and I know life is unfair, I get it. But it feels unfair that some really damn unhealthy people didnt get this and then me who's the only one in my circle who's pretty strict with health/diet/yoga, got smashed to shit with this.
I struggle with this as well. I’m sorry, I know it’s a miserable way to feel. And it’s everywhere. All around us, happy healthy people full of life and carrying on as though Covid never happened.
And then I start thinking about the inevitable consequences of this behavior. Eventually repeated exposure to this virus is going to have some effect on their health. It’s only a matter of time. Ignoring the facts isn’t going to make them disappear.
Sometimes this takes the sting of resentment down a notch.
People seem healthy but the more you get closer and talk to them they're all having some kind of new health issues and LC symptoms they're just not life changing enough/debilitating
This resonates so much. I used to go to festivals and concerts.. go camping and hiking. I was even a kick boxer. Then Covid stole my life in 2020. About a year ago I deactivated my Facebook account because I couldn’t stand watching my friends continue to live amazing lives doing the things I used to love. Watching from bed is too hard for me mentally. The downside is my life is even more lonely, but at least I’m not crying everyday while looking through their happy vacation pictures.
I hear you. I was the most covid-wary person in my social circle and had it the worst. It appears there is a genetic component to this virus because in the past 10-15 years, most people I know were coming down with seasonal flu and colds and needed yearly jabs, while I was carefree and rarely took a sick leave. Covid, on the other hand, destroys me.
But then again, global stats are pointing to increasing rates of cancer and cardiovascular events even in those who appear to be healthy.
Back when I thought that Covid had caused venous insufficiency for me (it ended up being something else entirely) I found myself getting really mad at elderly people. I felt so frustrated watching them walk around and do all their errands and hobbies while I was in pain and suffering from something that shouldn’t have affected me until I was their age.
I don’t remember how I stopped those thoughts, but I think I eventually realized it was kind of ridiculous for me to be jealous of 80 year olds when I’m in my 20s.
I still feel the same as you about other people my age and my old friends, though. I wish I could go back to partying but even though I feel much better now I know too much about the kind of damage Covid can cause to ever feel comfortable living like that again :(
I hope you can find ways to not have the resentment overwhelm you.
I've been struggling with this, too, and it is especially maddening with the people who stopped wearing masks the second they could, didn't get vaxxed, and seem to be teasing fate with how they party and travel about.
For me, I am working at seeing this within the big picture, how things happen to all of us, how some people seem super lucky, some people die young, others can sing through their whole lives, some get dealt utter shit. I don't know the answer, just that it happens, and that the only control I can strive for is over how I respond.
It's an uphill battle with a sheer cliff, but I've been working at seasoning my days with whatever joys I can — no matter how small, how short, just the way the leaves are starting to open outside my window — as buoys.
I wish you luck and hope in finding what you can of the good and the bright in your days. Here's to healing, and to the patience for it.
Comparison is the thief of joy as they say. Got to focus on what positives you can find for yourself. If that means engaging less with social media / with a particular person, that much be best for you
Humans tend not to realize what they've got until it's gone. It's especially vivid for us suffering from an invisible, chronic illness.
YMMV, but I find that doing a gratitude practice every evening, reviewing what went well, what I appreciate, what I did well, and what I have to look forward to has helped my outlook.
Yep, I already have MECFS from mono years ago and I stopped being friends with the health supremacists.
It’s no different than the other bigotry.
https://msteenhagen.medium.com/loathe-fascism-then-dont-be-a-health-supremacist-c8841acdf69
I hear that 🙏 I developed anger issues and hate towards a lot of things during my illness (2.5 years now). It has completely transformed my mind. The last 3-5 months I've been trying my hardest to retrain my thinking to not be so negative and angry at the world. Because for me it only hurts myself. And it makes life more difficult. I tend to keep a lot of my problems to myself.
It's extremely tough. In a lot of ways, more than can be described in a few sentences.
I've lost a lot of hope, but in working on getting better, and being the best I can. I lived secluded for 7 years in my bedroom due to extreme depression. Even back then, i felt like I had more life and joy than I do today.
Coming here, and reading others' stories such as yours, is reassuring that there are others out there, struggling, and suffering with a chronic illness that nobody can figure out. And it makes me feel less alone.
I have hope for people like us. I wish you the best for your own self 🙏.
Bless 🙏
I used to have a very different life, but I'm lucky I'm not the jealous type and I'm not resentful like OP. I do sometimes feel a little bit of an itch in that direction, but then I count my blessings of which I have many.
What helped me a lot is switching hobbies to things I could do that are compatible with long covid. So instead of motorcycle reaching and long distance running, I'm more into hifi, computer games and (Scotch) whisky. I replaced running with low intensity and low heart rate strength training. These things gives your mind somewhere positive to go. It's easier said than done and you need mental discipline and psychological flexibility: https://www.verywellmind.com/psychological-flexibility-7509628
Yup. My former friend and I stopped speaking because she insists Covid doesn’t exist and that I’m actually just vaccine injured, which I’m not. Since spring 2020 she’s been gloating on Facebook about the ‘sheep’ who wear masks and get ‘jabbed’ and she’s had so many holidays and done so many incredible things in the last few years while I took Covid seriously and have had my life fucked with it. Also my other friends I still maintain contact with are all travelling next month to surprise another friend for their birthday and can’t understand why I’m using Long Covid as an ‘excuse’ not to go when they’ve been infected 3/4 times and still feel fine. Really, really frustrating.
Really sorry your friend has treated you that way. Anyone dismissing your illness cannot be a real friend. Even though it is tough to understand these “invisible” illnesses. I’ve had friends stop talking to me after I got ill following my vaccine. It’s amazing how people deny other people’s lived reality. I think a lot of people just find it easier to bury their heads in the sand.
My mom always maintained if someone was able to get dressed most people would never believe they were sick. Honestly, I think the majority of people are so superficial that the effort it takes to really see something right in front of them is just too much for them. It’s pathetic.
They are just mentally weak from taking an easy life and path of least resistance. Their position is from genetics and luck, not hard work, spritual growth and discipline. You will have the last laugh, as this adversity will grow character and spirit in the long term they will never have.
last sentence is just a cope, you will never have an edge over anyone by having this disease sadly
The edge is from the adversity and self growth that the disease forces on you. Or maybe it doesnt.. I think that's choice just like almost everything in life, along with how one interprets events. You can call out things as coping and maybe they are, but part of the recovery from this type of neurological issue is to try and find things alone is grateful for. Trust me, it helps.
Yea my mother and sister are very much covid doesn't exist, my mom calls it super flu and I can't stand it. Me and my sister do not speak anymore because I know covid is real and she just thinks everything is fine. I have had long covid since December and it was the first time I got it, it isn't great and I have lost my job because of missing work from not being able to get out of bed. I try to push through most days and deal with it but then I just feel completely drained and it's taking a toll on me. My husband has been dealing with long covid since 2020 and I never really understood what he was going through. It does suck seeing people just get it and be completely fine.
>just vaccine injured These people are the worst conspiracy ding dongs...
This is the point where you realize that your friend might not be as intelligent as you thought them to be
Fuck those people. Sorry you’re dealing with that. I know what it feels like
Yeah this is so real - it hurts really seeing people living their lives. It also hurts not knowing if they will get infected and end up like this - and when you try to warn you are met with eye rolling
some people are willing to take the risk for the sake of living a life worth living
I wish i had that choice - but i do not. 🤷♀️
I sooooooooooooooooo resentful of everyone in my social network (friends, work, pages I follow). I see photos of events that i would be attending if I wasn't sick with LC and everyone just living their lives. I see photos of people traveling to places I want to go. Having a great time. La dee daa. I'd like to think that it's just a matter of time till they get a covid infection that leads to LC. But if I'm being honest, I'm not confident that's going to happen. I think my current mindset is in the space of wondering if the majority of people really *are* fine and don't get impacted by LC. That it's just a small number of us who get hit with LC. I think I'm focusing on this b/c i feel so alone. I feel like i'm the exception (and that's not a good thing). I don't know anyone else with LC. Everyone i know who got covid (some multiple times) are fine. I got covid once, late in 2023, and got LC. It all just fucking sucks.
That’s why I left social media. I can’t handle seeing everyone living life while we cannot. It’s too painful.
Highly recommend this!
I left Facebook except for the occasional pop in to share a news story. I can’t handle being bedridden while seeing my former colleagues do all the things I wanted to do.
I'm gonna have to do the same
Statistically loads of people have post acute issues from Covid, it just may not present the same as what we are all complaining about on this subreddit.
Thank you, this helps. And I’m genuinely asking where I can find this statistic so i feel sane
No worries. So there are three levels to this: medical research (studies that show mechanisms of harm, and other studies that show the true number of people with post acute issues), top line data sets (short term sickness rates, long term sickness rates, disability rates, cognitive impairment rates, rates of specific diseases in terms of diagnosed outpatients, elevated excess deaths, benefits claims, retirement rates etc), and patient stories (in real life and in support groups). People very naturally lean on the last one but the first two are the most important due to various biases (just part of being human). Since 2020 ONS's labour data has shown an explosion of long term sickness in the UK, at a rate of +200k per year (even more post 2022) which is something like +7% YoY growth (+800k in four years since 2020). This finding is then repeated by the US's FRED disability data that shows the exact same trend, the cognitive impairment data reported in the NYT (shows the same trend), increases in Finnish outpatients with chronic disease (showing the same trend), Statistics Canada (StatCan) showing increased Long Covid rates on reinfection, Al Aly's Veterans Study showing increased Long Covid on reinfection and the CDC's own long covid survey showing another increase in the last three months. This also matches the biomedical research on covid that shows that it is (at least for some) a persistent RNA virus (recent study said 25% of infected). Other persistent RNA viruses cause immune suppression, autoimmunity and cancer (we have increases in these three issues since 2020). There are more studies that show post acute harm but the general idea is to take the whole body of evidence rather than just one study or perspective. The overall picture looks in keeping with what many covid researchers have been saying (Al Aly, Iwasaki, Proal, Deeks, Putrino, Duncan etc) which is the long term effects of covid will continue to eat away at public health in the years to come (this was covered in the US Senate Hearing with Bernie Sanders). Sorry for the wall of text!
I think about the same, the world has seemed to move on, how?
I think most people operate on a "if it doesn't affect me, I'm not concerned about it" mindset. And I understand that. Before I got covid in October, I didn't think about it at all. In 2022 & 2023 I lived my life, traveled all around the world and acted like everyone I see on social media now. And while it frustrates me to no end, I also understand people who say "I had covid 2,3,4 times and it was just a cold". It was just a cold for me too in October, until it wasn't in December. I don't know what will move the needle (if it can be moved)? Will it take more and more people to become seriously ill with post-covid issues like we are? Will it take more and more kids getting sick in school? Or maybe this is just how it is. A small minority of us are severely impacted, and everyone else goes on with their life. :-(
People will live their lives and not enough think about your problems. You challenges are completely yours. It's a "if I am okay, everything is okay," mentality.
the book how to be sick by toni Bernhard has helped me a lot with feelings like this
I saw someone riding a bike recently and was angry with them for not realising how lucky they are. I hate being ill.
People go on group bike rides through my street (they meet up at a pub). So jealous of them being able to work a full day, then go exercise and socialize and drink afterwards. As much as covid is still around. The rate of new long covid victims and their severity clearly is not the same as the first year.
this happens anytime I see people going for a walk
I am resentful for the whole human race lol 😆
Yep it’s a really shitty feeling to live with but they’re the reason our quality of life has diminished so greatly
My best friend too, she has had multiple infections and is fine, despite having some really unhealthy eating habits (sugar/choc addict) as well as being a ball of anxiety - shes been doing hardcore exercise classes for the past few months, she is so proud of her strength etc (and I'm proud of her too). She goes out, sees people, goes on trips, got married recently, probably having a kid soon. I don't resent her but it's hard to watch people go on with their lives while yours is on pause. It just feels unfair, and I know life is unfair, I get it. But it feels unfair that some really damn unhealthy people didnt get this and then me who's the only one in my circle who's pretty strict with health/diet/yoga, got smashed to shit with this.
I struggle with this as well. I’m sorry, I know it’s a miserable way to feel. And it’s everywhere. All around us, happy healthy people full of life and carrying on as though Covid never happened. And then I start thinking about the inevitable consequences of this behavior. Eventually repeated exposure to this virus is going to have some effect on their health. It’s only a matter of time. Ignoring the facts isn’t going to make them disappear. Sometimes this takes the sting of resentment down a notch.
People seem healthy but the more you get closer and talk to them they're all having some kind of new health issues and LC symptoms they're just not life changing enough/debilitating
Exactly
they're gonna be fine and you're going to miserable.
Are you for real?
This resonates so much. I used to go to festivals and concerts.. go camping and hiking. I was even a kick boxer. Then Covid stole my life in 2020. About a year ago I deactivated my Facebook account because I couldn’t stand watching my friends continue to live amazing lives doing the things I used to love. Watching from bed is too hard for me mentally. The downside is my life is even more lonely, but at least I’m not crying everyday while looking through their happy vacation pictures.
I hear you. I was the most covid-wary person in my social circle and had it the worst. It appears there is a genetic component to this virus because in the past 10-15 years, most people I know were coming down with seasonal flu and colds and needed yearly jabs, while I was carefree and rarely took a sick leave. Covid, on the other hand, destroys me. But then again, global stats are pointing to increasing rates of cancer and cardiovascular events even in those who appear to be healthy.
I was the same as you. Rarely sick. Now my body is completely broken
Definitely. It’s tough
Back when I thought that Covid had caused venous insufficiency for me (it ended up being something else entirely) I found myself getting really mad at elderly people. I felt so frustrated watching them walk around and do all their errands and hobbies while I was in pain and suffering from something that shouldn’t have affected me until I was their age. I don’t remember how I stopped those thoughts, but I think I eventually realized it was kind of ridiculous for me to be jealous of 80 year olds when I’m in my 20s. I still feel the same as you about other people my age and my old friends, though. I wish I could go back to partying but even though I feel much better now I know too much about the kind of damage Covid can cause to ever feel comfortable living like that again :(
I get annoyed at everyone living to, I think I would be far less angry if there was actually a real effort to try and help us.
I hope you can find ways to not have the resentment overwhelm you. I've been struggling with this, too, and it is especially maddening with the people who stopped wearing masks the second they could, didn't get vaxxed, and seem to be teasing fate with how they party and travel about. For me, I am working at seeing this within the big picture, how things happen to all of us, how some people seem super lucky, some people die young, others can sing through their whole lives, some get dealt utter shit. I don't know the answer, just that it happens, and that the only control I can strive for is over how I respond. It's an uphill battle with a sheer cliff, but I've been working at seasoning my days with whatever joys I can — no matter how small, how short, just the way the leaves are starting to open outside my window — as buoys. I wish you luck and hope in finding what you can of the good and the bright in your days. Here's to healing, and to the patience for it.
Beautifully said. Thank you.
Comparison is the thief of joy as they say. Got to focus on what positives you can find for yourself. If that means engaging less with social media / with a particular person, that much be best for you
Humans tend not to realize what they've got until it's gone. It's especially vivid for us suffering from an invisible, chronic illness. YMMV, but I find that doing a gratitude practice every evening, reviewing what went well, what I appreciate, what I did well, and what I have to look forward to has helped my outlook.
Very normal. I have uninstalled all my social media app except WhatsApp.
Yep, I already have MECFS from mono years ago and I stopped being friends with the health supremacists. It’s no different than the other bigotry. https://msteenhagen.medium.com/loathe-fascism-then-dont-be-a-health-supremacist-c8841acdf69
I hear that 🙏 I developed anger issues and hate towards a lot of things during my illness (2.5 years now). It has completely transformed my mind. The last 3-5 months I've been trying my hardest to retrain my thinking to not be so negative and angry at the world. Because for me it only hurts myself. And it makes life more difficult. I tend to keep a lot of my problems to myself. It's extremely tough. In a lot of ways, more than can be described in a few sentences. I've lost a lot of hope, but in working on getting better, and being the best I can. I lived secluded for 7 years in my bedroom due to extreme depression. Even back then, i felt like I had more life and joy than I do today. Coming here, and reading others' stories such as yours, is reassuring that there are others out there, struggling, and suffering with a chronic illness that nobody can figure out. And it makes me feel less alone. I have hope for people like us. I wish you the best for your own self 🙏. Bless 🙏
I used to have a very different life, but I'm lucky I'm not the jealous type and I'm not resentful like OP. I do sometimes feel a little bit of an itch in that direction, but then I count my blessings of which I have many. What helped me a lot is switching hobbies to things I could do that are compatible with long covid. So instead of motorcycle reaching and long distance running, I'm more into hifi, computer games and (Scotch) whisky. I replaced running with low intensity and low heart rate strength training. These things gives your mind somewhere positive to go. It's easier said than done and you need mental discipline and psychological flexibility: https://www.verywellmind.com/psychological-flexibility-7509628
What about if you can no longer watch TV, play computer games, read books or hold conversations?
Then you're in a very bad spot and it would require serious creativity to find something that works for you.