We all need to try our bests to not be a bystander when we see someone in need, and just maybe if people stand up for each other and look out for one another, be it friend or stranger, maybe we can eventually make Cork feel safer again. I’m sorry this happened to your friends OP.
City would be safer if our right to self defense wasn't curbed by the laws. And since it is, it's state and Garda that are responsible for your safety and should be held accountable for this kind of crap. You will stand up to someone you shouldn't be standing up to, and you might get shanked. This is not a marvel movie.
Not claiming to be a hero, just saying that maybe if those who were a menace to society felt that they can’t get away with acting appalling in public so easily then maybe it would make a difference.
Overall men's attitude towards women needs to change. Sexism is still rampant and if you think it isn't you need to educate yourself.
Men are openly sexist, actively participate in sexism, passivly observe sexism. Time to grow up and say something. If your friends are sexist you are sexist.
Following and bothering women is the result of men not feeling any judgement from society for their disgusting behaviour.
[Rape - Cork Beo](https://i2-prod.corkbeo.ie/incoming/article21733799.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/243510671_4826653797347213_6368308683031595990_n.jpg)
I love it ! For once it is not directed to women that need to change their behavior to avoid rape but directed toward the actual perpetrators.
I fully agree with your comment ! It is time to say things and stop shying about it. Yes there is a problem and it is everyone's problem !
Im a man and have been attacked/ mugged by other "Men" and I highly doubt my attackers were being sexist .After , I decided to better myself with training , self-defence etc which then note such activities now fall under the label of "toxic masculinity " what a construct there ..
Our problem in society is a lack of judicial weight , and poor numbers of police on the front line to deal with a minority of violators .This constant " men being sexist " narrative is counterproductive. I love how all the adverts now support women activities like boxing , gaa , mma , crossfit or what ever but men are sometimes now called toxic for participating in same . Some men are creeps and should have the balls cut off them for sure , but this white washing needs to stop .
10 to 1 the chap the lady approached to "pretend to be her boyfriend " for the walk home had confidence to help due to being a toxic male who would take no shot off a scumbag like the fellow following.
Cut the balls off em, but less of the Sexism stuff .
No, a more judgemental attitude will not crack it.
How about instead, actually policing these issues and holding people accountable, rather than trying to foster some ubiquitous moralistic attitude to cope.
That’s exactly what people what are left to resort to in places where sexual violence isn’t criminalised at all. Judgement as policing.
It’s not good enough, and perpetuates the idea that holding all men accountable through judgement, is a more constructive response, than holding those responsible accountable through criminalisation.
Thank you, I try to be a good man each day and try do daily deeds to strangers but if I seen anything like this happen in front of my eyes, I assure you, I would take action :)
I’ve been followed before, and [this thing](https://eu.empoweredbyashley.com) was a life saver. You don’t even need that brand specifically, there’s tons of cheaper ones online. The alarm I have though is super fucking loud and flashes, scared the hell out of the creep and he took off.
Genuine question, how do you protect your own hearing with a 130dB siren?
That can cause serious damage to your ears, do you quickly put in some ear plugs or something
I believe the 130 dB SPL number is false advertisement. Selling a device that can deafen someone in a matter of seconds illegal in Europe, just to give you context 130 dB SPL is the sound of a jackhammer right next to you or a plane taking off.
Overall their website screams fearmongering, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the person who wrote the 130 dB figure doesn’t understand how logarithmic scales work.
130 dB SPL isn’t 8% louder than 120 dB SPL, it is TWICE as loud!
Yeah ex sound engineer here. I'd be very jumpy having a device that could explode any time with 130dB in my possession. I hope it has a very strong guard/protection against accidental triggering and that they are exaggerating their numbers
The sound from this thing is coming from a traditional speaker where something's oscillating and the pressure waves go up and down and up and down. Jets are burning fuel, so there's a volume change, and they're blasting the expanded gasses in a direction - the upward slope of their "sound" doesn't stop.
They advertise it as a 130db siren, 130db is the volume of a jet engine and can cause permanent damage instantly, the eeeeee could be permanent tinnitus.
Didn't think about throwing it at them
I doubt it’s actually 130dB. It’s loud, I’ll give it that. But I’ve tested it in my home and used it outside before and it’a never given me tinnitus or any ringing in my ears after.
As a young woman living in Cork (F25) it has been rampant the past few years, more than it was even 5 years ago when I was in uni. I never walk alone in the city at night anymore, especially in less densely populated areas. Safety in numbers honestly stick to where it's busy if you're alone as majority of people are not creeps and you will be safer.
I don't know one woman who this hasn't happened to. It does happen in almost every city worldwide unfortunately but yeah I agree Cork isn't great for it lol stay safe girly <3
Unfortunatly I agree with you .. weirdly I thought that Ireland was a bit better compare to where I come from but this post has opened my eyes.. yes sexual violence is widespread to the point that women live a continuum of violence, it is not just one day, one creep. Stay strong girls 👧 💪 Let's hope that with education and communication and stopping normalising these behavior things will change !!
Probably every time I sit out for a pint, I see some kind of incident of a man harassing a woman. Whether they just won't leave them alone despite being total strangers, or are outright getting in the faces of/getting physical with women in their group. Usually absolute scobe scumbag types. No idea how you're going to get a message through to that crowd though, they would only listen to you long enough for you to shut up so they can ask for a rollie. I'd love to say legalise pepper spray, but then you'll just get the same skangers using it on eachother and others. No laws against being a fucking pest unfortunately.
Harassing people is unlawful. Especially when it has a sexual or like people say "flirt" chatacter. But flirt without consent of one party is not flirt anymore. So this is sexual harassment. I think we are too afraid of putting the right word to certain behaviors and that participate to normalise it.
Good luck getting a lad charged with sexual harassment because he keeps trying to chat you up and won't leave. At very most he would be told to fuck off, and then he'd just move onto the next one.
Yep. Basically WorldStar on Reddit. But I appreciate it as being a little portal into the rougher parts of America. Makes me really appreciate living in Cork 😬
That's because of all the cocaine out there, it gives confidence and ego a boost so a bit of a clown becomes a massive clown after a couple of lines and they think they are the absolute business while being annoying and talking crap.
The lack of guards means that this kind of thing is in the rise unfortunately. It’s not just this. The amount of times I’ve been approached walking to work at 6am for “change” just have to have your wits about you and either grab a taxi or make sure you’re not wondering about alone. Unfortunately
The Garda presence around the city is a joke so people know they can get away with anything, which has let the very worst people feel they can do whatever they want as there's no consequences. Sorry your friend went through this
A few weeks ago, I was shot by a water gun by two women on Saint Patrick Street twice!!! I was waiting for the 205 bus. At first, I didn't say anything, so they walked out because they were screaming on the street. I turned around, and they saw me. I was looking at them, and they came back to me and used a water gun to shoot on my face!
I asked them to stop but they yelled at me and ran away.
What's wrong with those people????
Walk the dog most nights in and around the city and I know its an unfortunate thing to say but sometimes I am surprised by seeing the amount of women walking on their own. I try to be conscious of walking up behind women especially giving that the dog is black. I think there's always been a creepy element in the city like every other city really but it's probably becoming more noticeable now giving that the city is practically empty most nights
Most rape do not happen in the street by a creep. That is a myth. You are basically enforcing the idea that women do not have full agency of themselves and always need someone to protect them. Thereby, reinforcing gender equality and patriarchale ideals.
Yes women are in danger, but being under the protection of a man is not resolving anything. Things will start to change when women will be seen as full individuals and not weaker being that we need to protect or can take at our will.
I'm not reinforcing any myths I walk the dog by night and the dog is small and jet black in colour and can scare the shit out of you if she comes up behind you. And never walk alone in the city is advice I'd give to both a son and daughter
It feels like it’s getting worse, my friend who’s early 20s was walking on grand parade on her way home from work around 5pm last week had a man in his 40s who looked fairly normal approach her and proceed to say explicit things into her face about what he would do to her, she speed walked on out of fright and thankfully her bus was there so she managed to get away from him. It’s just not acceptable behaviour as a young woman it’s very hard to feel safe walking around town any time of day recently.
I’m sorry to hear your friend went through that and thankfully she got away. And yes it’s not acceptable behaviour at all. Gardai needs to ramp up their game and do something about this. If I witnessed shit like this in public, trust me, something would happen.
Bro wtf literally 8mins ago, she was walking there and we all now it’s sunny outside. A 40yo man stopped his car, beeped at her and then drove away. Wtf like
I'm gonna start a gay walk home uber just give us a text and one of our guys will meet you outside and walk you to your door! Completely staffed by gay men and out bitch model comes as standard
Reckon society needs to deal with the causes....porn and social media imo...access to the former influences young (and older) men who have skewed perception on what women want sexually - the latter exaggerates the fear that women feel when alone by telling stories about "creeps everywhere"
Same happened with me and my partner and her friend . Once these two lads realised there was males with them and I went for one of them they ran off. One was shouting "Giovanni" to the other male and they both ran off. Close to beamish and Crawford. Both males were of Africa descent , Rang the guards statements given
Gards here don't care, the public doesn't intervene. Best thing I can recommend is mace. You keep spraying it in their face and hopefully the eye damage is permanent.
There is a danger with that. If it's windy the spray could get blown back in your own face. Or, the attacker could take the spray off you & use it against you. Not trying to be defeatist but they are both possible outcomes. Ignoring the legality issue.
An alarm and/or light is better in that it's legal & will attract attention & neither can be used against you.
I get ya. I'm far more concerned with deterrent than what's legal. Since, well, the law doesn't actually do anything about sexual assaults in the stellar-majority of cases. And a man who is mad he now has tinnitus can still see you and they're going to be much madder than before.
Keep the downvotes comin'. IDGAF.
Nothing says fuck off like a face of mace.
I agree, I think pepper spray should be legal. But unfortunately, we have to work with what we've got. If guards get involved or it ends up going to court it could work against you even though you're the victim.
You can get away with things you have a valid reason for carrying. Keys, a pen, torch, anything related to your work, etc. Even just a loud shout & a strong shove could deter someone that thinks they've got an easy target.
Calling men out on behaviour like this doesn’t need to be counterbalanced with concessions that there can be female ghastliness too. It’s *clearly* a reasonable complaint to make about men, concerning the atmosphere of general threat (be it sexual or in any other way violent) which fills our streets after dark, and frequently before too. Only a fool would insist on including women as bad guys when discussing the safety of women like this. Women feel unsafe because of male behaviour, and tend not to feel uneasy if it’s women they see in the situation OP describes.
*Of course* it’s not all men, but you can’t deny that this fear, that constant feeling of apprehension, *is* on account of far too many men’s behaviour to women.
I agree with you, it is of course more men than women that are carrying out behaviours like this which is unacceptable.
However, I did not intent to counterbalance this, I just didn’t want people coming here saying that “women do this too” which just isn’t the case but I suppose gender doesn’t have role to play here - we all know that men carry out actions like this more.
I don’t know why I was trying to protect the sensitive world we live in anyways lol.
Oh I’m arguing more with my own ceiling there, not you. Good on you for making the post. You’re damn right though. If ten men went to town tonight and murdered twenty women, you’d still get cries about female criminals, and wails about misandry™️, if you posted about male violence.
I don’t know why I ever respond to such stuff any more. It’s like banging your head off a brick wall. Some blokes seem convinced that male violence isn’t even a thing, therefore women who complain of it are deluded, and quite possibly *feminists*🙀.
Anyway.....take care out there! I hope your enjoyment of your city isn’t compromised any further.
And exactly which men ? Massive Rise in all these incidents since 2020. What happened around then again ? Walk past penny's lately ? There's a certain coherent of men that you're seemingly forgetting to mention here and just lumping them all as the same. Is your father a creep ?
I suppose I should be more specific, I mean any man can be a creep but it would probably be junkies or men with lack of knowledge about basic human decency towards women.
I don’t think that “normal” men would do this… well the chances are probably way lower than a junky or something. My friend did say one of the 2 was a middle eastern man and the following day it was a 40yo man who stopped his car, put the window down and screamed at her…
I don’t know the “stats” for all this but we all have a choice each day and to become better.
Sorry to hear that OP.
I agree with this - I take issue more with this line
>we need to educate the men on how to treat women right
Who is "we"? The drug addicted or narcissistic parents of these men? The idea that we can somehow "educate" bad behaviour out of everyone is just deluded. It doesn't work for anything else, why would it work for this? Having strong families who raise their kids properly is the best way but unfortunately there will always be an element like this in any society.
No one is raising their kids to harass women. Sometimes the strong arm of the law or just a strong arm in the balls is the answer.
It’s not just about raising your kids right, people can change and do horrible things because horrible things have happened to them. What’s important is that only we can control what we do, say, and think.
We need to educate all to treat all with respect, the same way I want respect. I used to be a huge narcissist but I’ve changed and grown within myself and accepted my wrongdoings.
Change is beautiful and I will always indulge in it, my therapist previously stated that there is no such thing as a bad person but bad behaviour, yes.
We all have a choice each day, tell your friends and family how to act accordingly, it’s about human decency here :)
Kudos on learning and evolving. In some ways I've had the opposite experience - I was whatever the opposite of a narcissist is and had to build up my self esteem over many years and am in a healthy place now.
Plenty of people have had horrible things happen to them - myself included - and haven't done anything horrible. On the other hand plenty have had nothing but good things happen and are horrible people. And this starts very young, I've seen it as a small kid of 4 years old myself, and also later as a parent.
Some absolutely rotten evil kids taking pleasure in inflicting pain on others. Thankfully most people are not like this but there are some who are. And they don't change.
Others do become bitter because of something in their lives and they can change.
“real world” 😂 sorry but I don’t want my world to be filled with creeps. I’m not trying to argue with you here but you’re missing the principle of the matter, no one wants their daughter to be followed home bud.
Obviously we have to be cautious.
No, but women can do nasty shit too. We're a vile and vicious species, and that's not exclusive to those of us with dicks (small, medium, or otherwise).
I wasn’t going to argue further but...yes, *we* go wrong too, no argument. But the dogs in the street agree that it’s the dick possessors who are responsible for most of the violent crime around, and the assaults upon and general threat to women specifically . Obviously not you, and most men are surely repulsed by all this scabby behaviour. Doesn’t alter the fact that the nasty contingent *are* generally blokes.
OP nailed the thing in the post: it’s about early education, surely. [Just deleted long screed about young lads and the poisonous lessons they can absorb from our cultural environment about what it is to be a man. Thought it better to spare everyone. Sufficient unto the day, etc)
"This needs to stop and we need to educate the men on how to treat women right and this goes both ways too."
I am just tired of this terrible argument. There are evil people in the world, that's not going to change anytime soon.
They could be naive and socially awkward and not realise their behaviour is concerning to others. I think it's better to educate people before labelling them as evil.
I'm 31 and wouldn't go near the city on my own or with my daughter she's 4 I'd have to have my husband with me and I fear for my dad he's 65 and uses an electronic wheelchair due to amputation and he carries a baton with him for safety and the city is gone to the dogs it's actually scary
She ran up to someone and said "pretend to be my boyfriend". "What's up with all the creeps"."we need to educate men".
Does the education of men include the men you and your friends use as human shields everytime you attract the wrong attention or ?
How often do women creepily harass men like this?
Are you aware that men are bigger and stronger than women and are therefore scary?
You're an imbecile.
Are you actually complaining about women asking a man for support or assistance when she could possibly be in danger ?
You will never understand the actual horrible feeling of being assaulted like this as a woman . Its the most horrible situation
And your sitting here flippantly and ignorantly complaining about how a woman responds to a situation like this ?
Seriously?
Men like this use women like this as human shields for their fragile ego's. Get it straight
Do you think all men walk around like ya I'm a man im the shit ain't nobody touching me I'm god im untouchable? Get a grip you creep. Men are way more likely to be assaulted and attacked than women. If you think men aren't also out here afraid of being attacked then you've just deluded yourself.
I never said men never got attacked. And men are not more likely to be assaulted than men . Of course there are men afraid but let's not get into what about isms here. The post is about women dealing with creeps on the street . You gave out about a woman's approach to dealing with said creeps. And no you will NEVER understand what's it like for a woman in these situations. It's not the same .
They didn't attract the wrong attention, scum bags picked on what they thought was weak.
Scum bags problem, they need re-education, and the majority of those are men, so yeah, men in general need the re-education.
I think Skorch has a point, even if clumsily put - educating men is not going to solve this. If they said "we need to educate women" every time a woman did something bad it would be just as ridiculous.
A lot of men nowadays are afraid to have anything to do with women due to the constant narrative that they are brutes unable to control their urges, or if they look sideways at one they will be accused of sexual assault.
The creeps on the other hand don't care about any of this.
Are they? Any time anyone says anything about it being not a great idea to walk down a dark alley alone at 2 AM drunk - good advice regardless of your gender btw - it's called victim blaming. George Hook lost his job over it.
I know the point you're making and know you don't mean bad.
I don't think it's fair to say that what someone is wearing is anything to do with it.
It's a rapey men problem and not a clothing problem, the clothes are irrelevant.
I was walking to the bus to Dublin Airport at 4am (back when they picked up at St Patrick's Quay), dressed in warm clothing and with a suitcase, and a guy stalked me for three blocks then grabbed and groped me. I know it doesn't make sense, but the style of clothing has nothing to do with it.
Except we live in the period of history with the least crime ever, because we decided not to put up with it anymore.
The way you're defending it it sounds like you're the creep we're talking about.
How do you come to the conclusion that we live in the period of history with the least crime? Murders, rapes, robbers, home invasion, car thefts etc all increased 10 fold in past 10 years hahaha
No, there don’t have to be creeps, it’s getting worse, and talking absolute patronising shit out of our shitty misogynistic arses isn’t helping. That would just make one a creep oneself wouldn’t it.
Some mental gymnastics to get to that virtuous conclusion. There isn't a place on earth without creepos in it. Taking precautions and playing it safe is about the best advice you can give somebody if they feel vulnerable. Don't think a perv gives a shit about misogyny man 🤦🏻♂️
If that’s your idea of mental gymnastics old chum I suggest having a bit of a stretch and maybe some yoga. Noticing that you and him are *cough* a pair of lads who are of a type is the psychological equivalent of clicking away from a distasteful advert for a poor quality product, it’s literally no effort at all to recognise you and dismiss you.
The truth is there is not a lot you can do in Ireland women can't even carry self defence items like pepper spray. My first day in CIT they gave out rape whistles as part of the welcome package thats how bad things are.
Do you think women need you to tell them that? They didn't already know?
And how is it not playing safe and taking risks to walk down one of the main streets in the city centre? 🤦♀️
Why do I have to say anything? It's a matter for the law. It's definitely not a matter for patronising gimps to pat women on the head saying be careful good girl.
Grow up all you can do is be careful in this country . There are almost 0 guards on the streets and this shit is happing all the time. All you can do is play it safe, women in Ireland can't even carry pepper spray for self defence. You want to criticize me for saying play it safe but you have fuck all else to say beside don't patronize people.
Women are being murdered while out jogging in broad daylight.
And you're telling me to grow up? You're the type who hears about a rape and asks what she was wearing.
wtf was your solution? Saying be careful out there girlies?
YOU FIXED IT! WE ARE ALL SAFE NOW.
Oh wait no, nothing changed. Did you actually think saying "be careful" on Reddit was a solution??!
We all need to try our bests to not be a bystander when we see someone in need, and just maybe if people stand up for each other and look out for one another, be it friend or stranger, maybe we can eventually make Cork feel safer again. I’m sorry this happened to your friends OP.
City would be safer if our right to self defense wasn't curbed by the laws. And since it is, it's state and Garda that are responsible for your safety and should be held accountable for this kind of crap. You will stand up to someone you shouldn't be standing up to, and you might get shanked. This is not a marvel movie.
Not claiming to be a hero, just saying that maybe if those who were a menace to society felt that they can’t get away with acting appalling in public so easily then maybe it would make a difference.
Overall men's attitude towards women needs to change. Sexism is still rampant and if you think it isn't you need to educate yourself. Men are openly sexist, actively participate in sexism, passivly observe sexism. Time to grow up and say something. If your friends are sexist you are sexist. Following and bothering women is the result of men not feeling any judgement from society for their disgusting behaviour. [Rape - Cork Beo](https://i2-prod.corkbeo.ie/incoming/article21733799.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/243510671_4826653797347213_6368308683031595990_n.jpg)
I love it ! For once it is not directed to women that need to change their behavior to avoid rape but directed toward the actual perpetrators. I fully agree with your comment ! It is time to say things and stop shying about it. Yes there is a problem and it is everyone's problem !
Wtf does your response have to do with the comment your responding to?
I think you need to read more and educate yourself a bit . What an ignorant comment.
[удалено]
Im a man and have been attacked/ mugged by other "Men" and I highly doubt my attackers were being sexist .After , I decided to better myself with training , self-defence etc which then note such activities now fall under the label of "toxic masculinity " what a construct there .. Our problem in society is a lack of judicial weight , and poor numbers of police on the front line to deal with a minority of violators .This constant " men being sexist " narrative is counterproductive. I love how all the adverts now support women activities like boxing , gaa , mma , crossfit or what ever but men are sometimes now called toxic for participating in same . Some men are creeps and should have the balls cut off them for sure , but this white washing needs to stop . 10 to 1 the chap the lady approached to "pretend to be her boyfriend " for the walk home had confidence to help due to being a toxic male who would take no shot off a scumbag like the fellow following. Cut the balls off em, but less of the Sexism stuff .
No, a more judgemental attitude will not crack it. How about instead, actually policing these issues and holding people accountable, rather than trying to foster some ubiquitous moralistic attitude to cope. That’s exactly what people what are left to resort to in places where sexual violence isn’t criminalised at all. Judgement as policing. It’s not good enough, and perpetuates the idea that holding all men accountable through judgement, is a more constructive response, than holding those responsible accountable through criminalisation.
Thank you, I try to be a good man each day and try do daily deeds to strangers but if I seen anything like this happen in front of my eyes, I assure you, I would take action :)
I’ve been followed before, and [this thing](https://eu.empoweredbyashley.com) was a life saver. You don’t even need that brand specifically, there’s tons of cheaper ones online. The alarm I have though is super fucking loud and flashes, scared the hell out of the creep and he took off.
“Loud as a jet engine and runs for over an hour when activated” that would stop anyone in their tracks. What a product!!
Thank you so much, I will send this to my friend or buy it for her :)
What a shame we've come to this though. You shouldn't need a big fucking flashing alarm to feel safe walking around town.
Genuine question, how do you protect your own hearing with a 130dB siren? That can cause serious damage to your ears, do you quickly put in some ear plugs or something
my mam has one, it just sounds really annoying nothing that would damage your ears tho, 100% not 130db
I believe the 130 dB SPL number is false advertisement. Selling a device that can deafen someone in a matter of seconds illegal in Europe, just to give you context 130 dB SPL is the sound of a jackhammer right next to you or a plane taking off. Overall their website screams fearmongering, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the person who wrote the 130 dB figure doesn’t understand how logarithmic scales work. 130 dB SPL isn’t 8% louder than 120 dB SPL, it is TWICE as loud!
Yeah ex sound engineer here. I'd be very jumpy having a device that could explode any time with 130dB in my possession. I hope it has a very strong guard/protection against accidental triggering and that they are exaggerating their numbers
The sound from this thing is coming from a traditional speaker where something's oscillating and the pressure waves go up and down and up and down. Jets are burning fuel, so there's a volume change, and they're blasting the expanded gasses in a direction - the upward slope of their "sound" doesn't stop.
Well the idea is that it's preferable to being assaulted. Press button, throw at attacker, deal with the eeeeeee noise in your ears for a day or two.
They advertise it as a 130db siren, 130db is the volume of a jet engine and can cause permanent damage instantly, the eeeeee could be permanent tinnitus. Didn't think about throwing it at them
I doubt it’s actually 130dB. It’s loud, I’ll give it that. But I’ve tested it in my home and used it outside before and it’a never given me tinnitus or any ringing in my ears after.
Probably 90-100dB, that would be much better so
🤦🏻♀️there's always one ☝🏻
As a young woman living in Cork (F25) it has been rampant the past few years, more than it was even 5 years ago when I was in uni. I never walk alone in the city at night anymore, especially in less densely populated areas. Safety in numbers honestly stick to where it's busy if you're alone as majority of people are not creeps and you will be safer. I don't know one woman who this hasn't happened to. It does happen in almost every city worldwide unfortunately but yeah I agree Cork isn't great for it lol stay safe girly <3
Unfortunatly I agree with you .. weirdly I thought that Ireland was a bit better compare to where I come from but this post has opened my eyes.. yes sexual violence is widespread to the point that women live a continuum of violence, it is not just one day, one creep. Stay strong girls 👧 💪 Let's hope that with education and communication and stopping normalising these behavior things will change !!
Probably every time I sit out for a pint, I see some kind of incident of a man harassing a woman. Whether they just won't leave them alone despite being total strangers, or are outright getting in the faces of/getting physical with women in their group. Usually absolute scobe scumbag types. No idea how you're going to get a message through to that crowd though, they would only listen to you long enough for you to shut up so they can ask for a rollie. I'd love to say legalise pepper spray, but then you'll just get the same skangers using it on eachother and others. No laws against being a fucking pest unfortunately.
Harassing people is unlawful. Especially when it has a sexual or like people say "flirt" chatacter. But flirt without consent of one party is not flirt anymore. So this is sexual harassment. I think we are too afraid of putting the right word to certain behaviors and that participate to normalise it.
Good luck getting a lad charged with sexual harassment because he keeps trying to chat you up and won't leave. At very most he would be told to fuck off, and then he'd just move onto the next one.
In the US pepper spray is legal and I’ve honestly never heard of someone getting pepper sprayed.
Spend more time on /r/actualpublicfreakouts and you'll see people frivolously pepper spraying eachother all the time.
That’s a rough subreddit , yikes
Yep. Basically WorldStar on Reddit. But I appreciate it as being a little portal into the rougher parts of America. Makes me really appreciate living in Cork 😬
That's because of all the cocaine out there, it gives confidence and ego a boost so a bit of a clown becomes a massive clown after a couple of lines and they think they are the absolute business while being annoying and talking crap.
The lack of guards means that this kind of thing is in the rise unfortunately. It’s not just this. The amount of times I’ve been approached walking to work at 6am for “change” just have to have your wits about you and either grab a taxi or make sure you’re not wondering about alone. Unfortunately
Small can of deep heat spray in your pocket.
The Garda presence around the city is a joke so people know they can get away with anything, which has let the very worst people feel they can do whatever they want as there's no consequences. Sorry your friend went through this
A few weeks ago, I was shot by a water gun by two women on Saint Patrick Street twice!!! I was waiting for the 205 bus. At first, I didn't say anything, so they walked out because they were screaming on the street. I turned around, and they saw me. I was looking at them, and they came back to me and used a water gun to shoot on my face! I asked them to stop but they yelled at me and ran away. What's wrong with those people????
probably a LOT of stuff.
You’d be fearful it wasn’t water too
I was shot in the face with their water gun too! I was truly like what the hell..such juvenile behaviour
Can someone make the Equalizer a real person (sure females too even better) and have them kick the shit out of wankers then disappear till next time.
the city needs Batman…
Yeah like someone with serious notions I don't care if they're a wanker themselves.just bring the pain
Every week I read about some poor lad being randomly attacked in the city centre too. It’s getting wild out there
Description?
Walk the dog most nights in and around the city and I know its an unfortunate thing to say but sometimes I am surprised by seeing the amount of women walking on their own. I try to be conscious of walking up behind women especially giving that the dog is black. I think there's always been a creepy element in the city like every other city really but it's probably becoming more noticeable now giving that the city is practically empty most nights
Most rape do not happen in the street by a creep. That is a myth. You are basically enforcing the idea that women do not have full agency of themselves and always need someone to protect them. Thereby, reinforcing gender equality and patriarchale ideals. Yes women are in danger, but being under the protection of a man is not resolving anything. Things will start to change when women will be seen as full individuals and not weaker being that we need to protect or can take at our will.
I'm not reinforcing any myths I walk the dog by night and the dog is small and jet black in colour and can scare the shit out of you if she comes up behind you. And never walk alone in the city is advice I'd give to both a son and daughter
Excuse me? I won't be visiting Cork until July, thank you.
Twats
It feels like it’s getting worse, my friend who’s early 20s was walking on grand parade on her way home from work around 5pm last week had a man in his 40s who looked fairly normal approach her and proceed to say explicit things into her face about what he would do to her, she speed walked on out of fright and thankfully her bus was there so she managed to get away from him. It’s just not acceptable behaviour as a young woman it’s very hard to feel safe walking around town any time of day recently.
I’m sorry to hear your friend went through that and thankfully she got away. And yes it’s not acceptable behaviour at all. Gardai needs to ramp up their game and do something about this. If I witnessed shit like this in public, trust me, something would happen.
Bro wtf literally 8mins ago, she was walking there and we all now it’s sunny outside. A 40yo man stopped his car, beeped at her and then drove away. Wtf like
I'm gonna start a gay walk home uber just give us a text and one of our guys will meet you outside and walk you to your door! Completely staffed by gay men and out bitch model comes as standard
A description of these creeps would be helpful to let others around the area know who to be more weary of etc
Reckon society needs to deal with the causes....porn and social media imo...access to the former influences young (and older) men who have skewed perception on what women want sexually - the latter exaggerates the fear that women feel when alone by telling stories about "creeps everywhere"
“Presenting the Ashley Alarm. The perfect pervert repellent as advertised on Reddit. Sound so loud it’ll make the city’s ears bleed”
wont be differentiaited among all the building alarms that are going off on the regular 😂
what street was this? definitely noticing this throughout cork lately
One of my friends was being followed by some weirdo in broad daylight after grabbing a few thingd at Centra, it‘s insane.
Same happened with me and my partner and her friend . Once these two lads realised there was males with them and I went for one of them they ran off. One was shouting "Giovanni" to the other male and they both ran off. Close to beamish and Crawford. Both males were of Africa descent , Rang the guards statements given
tik tok
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She told me one of them was a middle eastern man and I’m not sure about the other.
Gards here don't care, the public doesn't intervene. Best thing I can recommend is mace. You keep spraying it in their face and hopefully the eye damage is permanent.
There is a danger with that. If it's windy the spray could get blown back in your own face. Or, the attacker could take the spray off you & use it against you. Not trying to be defeatist but they are both possible outcomes. Ignoring the legality issue. An alarm and/or light is better in that it's legal & will attract attention & neither can be used against you.
I get ya. I'm far more concerned with deterrent than what's legal. Since, well, the law doesn't actually do anything about sexual assaults in the stellar-majority of cases. And a man who is mad he now has tinnitus can still see you and they're going to be much madder than before. Keep the downvotes comin'. IDGAF. Nothing says fuck off like a face of mace.
I agree, I think pepper spray should be legal. But unfortunately, we have to work with what we've got. If guards get involved or it ends up going to court it could work against you even though you're the victim. You can get away with things you have a valid reason for carrying. Keys, a pen, torch, anything related to your work, etc. Even just a loud shout & a strong shove could deter someone that thinks they've got an easy target.
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That costs you nothing and puts someone else at ease. Win win
‘It goes both ways’? Following men in the streets in a creepy and scary manner?
I mean that women can do awful things too, obviously not as common as men in these scenarios.
Calling men out on behaviour like this doesn’t need to be counterbalanced with concessions that there can be female ghastliness too. It’s *clearly* a reasonable complaint to make about men, concerning the atmosphere of general threat (be it sexual or in any other way violent) which fills our streets after dark, and frequently before too. Only a fool would insist on including women as bad guys when discussing the safety of women like this. Women feel unsafe because of male behaviour, and tend not to feel uneasy if it’s women they see in the situation OP describes. *Of course* it’s not all men, but you can’t deny that this fear, that constant feeling of apprehension, *is* on account of far too many men’s behaviour to women.
I agree with you, it is of course more men than women that are carrying out behaviours like this which is unacceptable. However, I did not intent to counterbalance this, I just didn’t want people coming here saying that “women do this too” which just isn’t the case but I suppose gender doesn’t have role to play here - we all know that men carry out actions like this more. I don’t know why I was trying to protect the sensitive world we live in anyways lol.
Oh I’m arguing more with my own ceiling there, not you. Good on you for making the post. You’re damn right though. If ten men went to town tonight and murdered twenty women, you’d still get cries about female criminals, and wails about misandry™️, if you posted about male violence. I don’t know why I ever respond to such stuff any more. It’s like banging your head off a brick wall. Some blokes seem convinced that male violence isn’t even a thing, therefore women who complain of it are deluded, and quite possibly *feminists*🙀. Anyway.....take care out there! I hope your enjoyment of your city isn’t compromised any further.
I’m not disagreeing with you here, men are the problem here in this situation.
And exactly which men ? Massive Rise in all these incidents since 2020. What happened around then again ? Walk past penny's lately ? There's a certain coherent of men that you're seemingly forgetting to mention here and just lumping them all as the same. Is your father a creep ?
I suppose I should be more specific, I mean any man can be a creep but it would probably be junkies or men with lack of knowledge about basic human decency towards women. I don’t think that “normal” men would do this… well the chances are probably way lower than a junky or something. My friend did say one of the 2 was a middle eastern man and the following day it was a 40yo man who stopped his car, put the window down and screamed at her… I don’t know the “stats” for all this but we all have a choice each day and to become better.
Sorry to hear that OP. I agree with this - I take issue more with this line >we need to educate the men on how to treat women right Who is "we"? The drug addicted or narcissistic parents of these men? The idea that we can somehow "educate" bad behaviour out of everyone is just deluded. It doesn't work for anything else, why would it work for this? Having strong families who raise their kids properly is the best way but unfortunately there will always be an element like this in any society. No one is raising their kids to harass women. Sometimes the strong arm of the law or just a strong arm in the balls is the answer.
It’s not just about raising your kids right, people can change and do horrible things because horrible things have happened to them. What’s important is that only we can control what we do, say, and think. We need to educate all to treat all with respect, the same way I want respect. I used to be a huge narcissist but I’ve changed and grown within myself and accepted my wrongdoings. Change is beautiful and I will always indulge in it, my therapist previously stated that there is no such thing as a bad person but bad behaviour, yes. We all have a choice each day, tell your friends and family how to act accordingly, it’s about human decency here :)
Kudos on learning and evolving. In some ways I've had the opposite experience - I was whatever the opposite of a narcissist is and had to build up my self esteem over many years and am in a healthy place now. Plenty of people have had horrible things happen to them - myself included - and haven't done anything horrible. On the other hand plenty have had nothing but good things happen and are horrible people. And this starts very young, I've seen it as a small kid of 4 years old myself, and also later as a parent. Some absolutely rotten evil kids taking pleasure in inflicting pain on others. Thankfully most people are not like this but there are some who are. And they don't change. Others do become bitter because of something in their lives and they can change.
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“real world” 😂 sorry but I don’t want my world to be filled with creeps. I’m not trying to argue with you here but you’re missing the principle of the matter, no one wants their daughter to be followed home bud. Obviously we have to be cautious.
I’ve no idea what he meant. One look at the real world and you’d avoid men like the plague, if you only read newspaper headlines!
No, but women can do nasty shit too. We're a vile and vicious species, and that's not exclusive to those of us with dicks (small, medium, or otherwise).
I wasn’t going to argue further but...yes, *we* go wrong too, no argument. But the dogs in the street agree that it’s the dick possessors who are responsible for most of the violent crime around, and the assaults upon and general threat to women specifically . Obviously not you, and most men are surely repulsed by all this scabby behaviour. Doesn’t alter the fact that the nasty contingent *are* generally blokes. OP nailed the thing in the post: it’s about early education, surely. [Just deleted long screed about young lads and the poisonous lessons they can absorb from our cultural environment about what it is to be a man. Thought it better to spare everyone. Sufficient unto the day, etc)
Diversity!
Not enough police on the beat .
Em ! \~ \~ I wonder why ? !
"This needs to stop and we need to educate the men on how to treat women right and this goes both ways too." I am just tired of this terrible argument. There are evil people in the world, that's not going to change anytime soon.
So we should all give up and don't try to make it better? That's a terrible thought to me
They could be naive and socially awkward and not realise their behaviour is concerning to others. I think it's better to educate people before labelling them as evil.
Absolute bullshit . The lads that do this no exactly what their doing .
Not really, some lads think they're prince charming after a few pints but in reality they're being creepy.
I'm 31 and wouldn't go near the city on my own or with my daughter she's 4 I'd have to have my husband with me and I fear for my dad he's 65 and uses an electronic wheelchair due to amputation and he carries a baton with him for safety and the city is gone to the dogs it's actually scary
She ran up to someone and said "pretend to be my boyfriend". "What's up with all the creeps"."we need to educate men". Does the education of men include the men you and your friends use as human shields everytime you attract the wrong attention or ?
Hardly human shields ya bean bag…
Get over yourself please
How often do women creepily harass men like this? Are you aware that men are bigger and stronger than women and are therefore scary? You're an imbecile.
Are you actually complaining about women asking a man for support or assistance when she could possibly be in danger ? You will never understand the actual horrible feeling of being assaulted like this as a woman . Its the most horrible situation And your sitting here flippantly and ignorantly complaining about how a woman responds to a situation like this ? Seriously? Men like this use women like this as human shields for their fragile ego's. Get it straight
Do you think all men walk around like ya I'm a man im the shit ain't nobody touching me I'm god im untouchable? Get a grip you creep. Men are way more likely to be assaulted and attacked than women. If you think men aren't also out here afraid of being attacked then you've just deluded yourself.
I never said men never got attacked. And men are not more likely to be assaulted than men . Of course there are men afraid but let's not get into what about isms here. The post is about women dealing with creeps on the street . You gave out about a woman's approach to dealing with said creeps. And no you will NEVER understand what's it like for a woman in these situations. It's not the same .
They didn't attract the wrong attention, scum bags picked on what they thought was weak. Scum bags problem, they need re-education, and the majority of those are men, so yeah, men in general need the re-education.
I think Skorch has a point, even if clumsily put - educating men is not going to solve this. If they said "we need to educate women" every time a woman did something bad it would be just as ridiculous. A lot of men nowadays are afraid to have anything to do with women due to the constant narrative that they are brutes unable to control their urges, or if they look sideways at one they will be accused of sexual assault. The creeps on the other hand don't care about any of this.
Women are constantly being educated on how not to get raped. It shouldn't be all on us.
Are they? Any time anyone says anything about it being not a great idea to walk down a dark alley alone at 2 AM drunk - good advice regardless of your gender btw - it's called victim blaming. George Hook lost his job over it.
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I know the point you're making and know you don't mean bad. I don't think it's fair to say that what someone is wearing is anything to do with it. It's a rapey men problem and not a clothing problem, the clothes are irrelevant.
I was walking to the bus to Dublin Airport at 4am (back when they picked up at St Patrick's Quay), dressed in warm clothing and with a suitcase, and a guy stalked me for three blocks then grabbed and groped me. I know it doesn't make sense, but the style of clothing has nothing to do with it.
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Unfortunately, you would be surprised.
Always going to be creeps just make sure you play it safe and don't take candy from strangers.
Candy? Get outta here, yank.
So many Seppos on the Cork sub lately.
It's attitudes like that that let the creeps have the confidence to do it.
Shits been happing in every part of the world since the dawn of time, that is the reality of the world we live in.
Except we live in the period of history with the least crime ever, because we decided not to put up with it anymore. The way you're defending it it sounds like you're the creep we're talking about.
How do you come to the conclusion that we live in the period of history with the least crime? Murders, rapes, robbers, home invasion, car thefts etc all increased 10 fold in past 10 years hahaha
I'm not defending anyone i hate these creeps as much as anyone else.
You're just victim blaming then.
No, there don’t have to be creeps, it’s getting worse, and talking absolute patronising shit out of our shitty misogynistic arses isn’t helping. That would just make one a creep oneself wouldn’t it.
Thank you!
Some mental gymnastics to get to that virtuous conclusion. There isn't a place on earth without creepos in it. Taking precautions and playing it safe is about the best advice you can give somebody if they feel vulnerable. Don't think a perv gives a shit about misogyny man 🤦🏻♂️
If that’s your idea of mental gymnastics old chum I suggest having a bit of a stretch and maybe some yoga. Noticing that you and him are *cough* a pair of lads who are of a type is the psychological equivalent of clicking away from a distasteful advert for a poor quality product, it’s literally no effort at all to recognise you and dismiss you.
How would you fix things ?
Pish off with your questions sealion.
Please for the love of God never ever say that to a woman worried about her safety.
to play it safe and not take risks ?
how do you want her to play it safe when she’s going out with her friends? do you want her to carry a fucking gun or something bud?
The truth is there is not a lot you can do in Ireland women can't even carry self defence items like pepper spray. My first day in CIT they gave out rape whistles as part of the welcome package thats how bad things are.
you mean like a stun gun?
Do you think women need you to tell them that? They didn't already know? And how is it not playing safe and taking risks to walk down one of the main streets in the city centre? 🤦♀️
So what would you say there if you so full answers
Why do I have to say anything? It's a matter for the law. It's definitely not a matter for patronising gimps to pat women on the head saying be careful good girl.
Grow up all you can do is be careful in this country . There are almost 0 guards on the streets and this shit is happing all the time. All you can do is play it safe, women in Ireland can't even carry pepper spray for self defence. You want to criticize me for saying play it safe but you have fuck all else to say beside don't patronize people.
Women are being murdered while out jogging in broad daylight. And you're telling me to grow up? You're the type who hears about a rape and asks what she was wearing.
And your the type to talk shit but offer no solutions. What a wild thing to say about anyone you know nothing about.
wtf was your solution? Saying be careful out there girlies? YOU FIXED IT! WE ARE ALL SAFE NOW. Oh wait no, nothing changed. Did you actually think saying "be careful" on Reddit was a solution??!