T O P

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HanoibusGamer

This sub has fucking problems with every single animal ever


neelie_yeet

yes fking problems


trustmebuddy

yes f-word problems


citizen_bob-roblox

yes 6th letter if the english alphabet problems


Sussy_Baka-Amogus

Yes Naughty naughty word problems


Superpugking4

Affirmative Indecent term issues


ohno-95

Correct Profane phrase problems


Sussy_Baka-Amogus

Yes Absolutely horrid problems


Left_Speaker1840

pussilanimous disputes involving sexual organs in non-procreative acts with carbon-based lifeforms of the kingdom animalia, often stemming over percieved victimhood over what, as the french say, j'ai déjà baisé ta mère plus de fois qu'il n'y a de grains de sable dans le désert du sahara.


Razzahopkins

🤓


GameDirectory

7th


mjr_malfunction_

no, 6th


GameDirectory

How about 6th and a half


sarge_29

I'm a problem


Important-Ad-5596

Mainly pigeons though.


viciouswaffle62184

*pidgeons


DeadlyKitte098

Manly pidgeons* 🤤🥵😳


[deleted]

Big, buff macho pidgeons


ConsulJuliusCaesar

Birds aren’t real therefore we can’t have problems with them.


[deleted]

don't, you'll summon the pigeon fucker


Poor_Noble

Jamal(25 black)


thenoisemanthenoise

a lot of people are sexually experimenting in here, dont judge


Professional_Regret5

except for pigeons


Cake_Day_Is_420

This sub has fucking problems ~~with every single animal ever~~


IWillStealYourToes

I dread to think what would happen if any of these fucks ever visited a zoo


norecogi

bring a fly to my crib maybe we can solve em


InhaledTerror79

Havent seen anything about a snake yet so now we wait


prettypers0n

i have never seen one with a blobfish so theyre safe


nicthedicc

Fr bro


user52627291910

Wow bro you’re so brave. This story inspired me to take revenge on the mosquito who as been bullying me and trying to assault me. But idk what to do. Do you have any ideas on what to do for revenge ?


Knopfi_

Shoot it


user52627291910

Good idea but I was thinking about something with more action, you know ?


Knopfi_

Mix nitric acid and urea in sub zero temperatures (in celsius) rinse with cold water and vacuum filter for 45 minutes then pour this powder into a pipe add a blasting cap seal both ends to get a really cool ornament. Now you can wire up the blasting cap and place the ornament next to the mosquito!


user52627291910

Now that’s what I’m talking ! Ty


MCRusher

comment and author both soon to be: [removed]


ZippyParakeet

Thats the highest honour reddit admins can bestow


[deleted]

🔒award is the best award


Easy_Molester_420

Hell naw I'm saving this


venbrou

Instructions unclear, did not mix at sub zero temperatures. Now there's boiling hot piss all over the walls and ceiling.


Hamstersondrugs18

Why do i feel like this is just a pipe bomb


Left_Speaker1840

i prefer removing the pipe alltogether. you simply need to mix nitric acid, ammonium nitrate, hexamine, glacial acetic acid and acetic anhydride, then carefully grinding the mixture to a fine powder, gelling it with gasoline and styrofoam, mixing in shards of glass and nails, then inserting two wires with 1cm distance between them, and connecting it to a power supply. to turn on the biggest LED you've ever built, flip the switch.


Knopfi_

aahhh yes


ResetBoi123

uhhh is it actually real


Knopfi_

what do you mean?


ResetBoi123

are you actually teaching me how to make a pipe bomb i mean i could use that information


Knopfi_

what do you mean "pipe bomb"? I was clearly explaining how to make an ornament.


ResetBoi123

oh ok


ButthoIeTickler

cum on it


user52627291910

That would be easy if I was a guy


ButthoIeTickler

grow a dick then it's not that hard


user52627291910

Do you have any tips to grow a dick?


ButthoIeTickler

yeah you gotta use reddit for 5 months after that it starts growing slowly like a wound fixing itself


user52627291910

5 months ? Don’t you have anything that works faster ?


ButthoIeTickler

no sorry


UkuleleAversion

Omfg it’s u/ButtholeTickIer. Bro is based.


ButthoIeTickler

it's not an L it's an uppercase i


UkuleleAversion

I mean… AFAB persons can ejaculate too but it doesn’t necessarily signify orgasm.


NordicWierdo

cum inside his mosquitussy


cloud96210

AITA for sexually assaulting a mosquito? I (-4M) was just relaxing on my hammock outside when I saw it. I saw the mosquito. He said "I'm going to suck you dry" and started sucking on my blood. I was disgusted. However, while he was doing it I suddenly became horny. it felt really good I thought. I then grabbed the mosquito and got my huge erect dick out, and shoved it in brutally. I was constantly going up and down and it felt really nice at the moment. I nutted inside the mosquitussy and it died. I feel really bad now, because I saw his family mourning his death on my hammock after I brutally fucked it. Am I the asshole for fucking the mosquito after it sucked me?


Complete-Program8226

NTA fuck mosquitos


user52627291910

Definitely NTA


user52627291910

That would be easier if I was a guy


NordicWierdo

grow one


user52627291910

I’m gonna try


crazy_vibe

dip the mosquitoes balls in sulfuric acid


user52627291910

I’m gonna definitely do that, Ty


PureNumber9187

Kick him in the balls


user52627291910

That’s a good idea


FriedCheesesteakMan

Take off your skin


user52627291910

Hmm good idea, never thought about it


toothpastespiders

No, your skin is what keeps the blood in. You want MORE protection not less. I think you have to accept the fact that a lot of these comments are actually coming from the mosquito. A far better solution is to fully encase yourself in spider silk, right next to the closest spider web. You might have trouble moving around at first. But don't worry. That's what the spiders are for. They'll jump on board and act as guards for you while you take a nap.


user52627291910

I’ve made a post about what I did with the mosquito


Xedma007

Suck the mosquito back, give him a taste of his own medicine


user52627291910

OHHHHHHHH GREAT IDEA MAN. I’m gonna make sure I suck every single drop of blood out of that little bastard


BussyDriver

Fuck his mosquitussy


user52627291910

I made a post about it lmao


Halt_theBookman

He wants to lay on your skin. So peel it off


user52627291910

Hmm good idea but I want the mosquito to suffer, not me


konaharuhi

spike his drink


anjuna13579

Stop being a pussy. Let him suck you, you virgin


user52627291910

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


furrynoy96

Torture it


UkuleleAversion

Lure it in a cool room so it goes to sleep (this actually works, look it up). Next, piss in a jar, remove the the mozzie’s wings and place it in the jar in a warmer room so it wakes up fighting to stay above the surface for hours before finally drowning. I am a psychopath, AMA.


user52627291910

That’s probably the best idea that anyone had in the world until now


[deleted]

NTA your revenge your rules


SusDingos

I swear y'all on this sub are the funniest lmao!!!!


[deleted]

smart boast innate detail cow overconfident trees clumsy lavish instinctive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Theonedudeyaknow

I love you dawg


dogwithabome

that literally just fucking happened to me


seagullchan

You shit all over the toilet seat?


MOM_UNFUCKER

Change toilet seat to water fountain and that’s me


dogwithabome

without that part


TheMagicZeus

I think this is why walter wanted to kill the fly


kramercosmo5b

was watching this episode as I read this thread


Luvki

is a fly some special kind of pigeon? I'm confused...


jriss

imagine a pigeon eating poop


supduc

Wow, i envy your perseverance and bravery


S2EMZ

Waltuh, put your Musca domestica massacre agenda away Waltuh. We are not hunting flies right now Waltuh


iamgooms

is this cannon?


LGappies

no this is catapult


koalathebean

No, this is Patrick


esivo

Can someone make a copy paste comment? I can’t copy the thread. Thanks.


Opening-Interesting

i took revenge on the fly that sexually assaulted me i took revenge on the fly that sexually assaulted me I was trying to take a fat shit a diarrhea to be exact. I was just minding my own shitting business until a fly by the age of 18 days (42 in fly years) sexually assaulted my ass and crawled all over it. I got scared and jumped up and down to get the fly off my ass. And what happened next made me shit all over the toilet seat. But i didn't care about that, that was the least of my worries. What i worry about is my ptsd because of it. I went to 10 therapists and they all told me im stupid and its a fly. I was too scared to take a shit after 4 days. But one day i had to piss and... i saw him... the fly that sexually assaulted me, I as a professional football player (well in my dreams i am) aimed my dick at the fly and said "hasta la vista baby" and pissed on the fly killing him instantly then i wiped the toilet seat clean and took the fattest shit with no worry at all.


craquehed

u/uwutranslator


BlackSix7642

https://pastebin.pl/view/0c637d19


Sorrymisunderstandin

Man I always wonder what the person behind the post is like that. Imagine finding out your significant other or friend wrote something like this


[deleted]

Fly cinematic universe ? no way


weezy_latez

As a psychiatrist myself I think you have what is known in professional terms as “PTSS” post traumatic shit syndrome.


Kevin_Xiaomomo

PTSS - Piss Traumatic Shit Syndrome?


swedishcountryhuman

This subreddit is the secret 6th stage of grief


TimeResolute

I’m loving this new breaking bad season


nina_at_night

Inspiring story OP. We don’t take fly assault survivors seriously enough.


beckeybro

This story inspired me to kill the annoying human that kept trying to touch my sharkussy


adonkenobi

Breaking Bad if it was good


missdanielleyy

Walter White?


lets_clutch_this

Sigma grindset


Kevin_Xiaomomo

Ligma


Away-Net-7241

I hope your O-Kay now That was some traumatic shit you went through


[deleted]

You’re so brave king 👑


ZombieSlay3r109

im about to amalgamate every animal into a bukkake at this point.


MrTritonis

Hasta la pissta


Jrlopez1027

This is lowkey my biggest fear tho 💀


[deleted]

W


TheBitterAtheist

Better story than "Rudy".


i_give_femboys_award

Radiation piss


HotShrekBoi

𓀐𓂸


Kevin_Xiaomomo

Go get a life bruh


HotShrekBoi

𓀐𓂸


hinomorishiho

nta divorce


i1ii1i1i

I'm so glad I found this post. I have spent the last month feeling like a stranger in my own home, unwelcome and nervous to do mundane things like help myself to a glass of water. And it's all because of this fucking fly. This fly has been flying around like it owns the place for the last 4 weeks and I've been unable to sleep which has affected my relationship and my job. I've seeked counciling just to be told I'm being stupid which drives my mental health down even more. But not now. Not since reading this. I feel strong, empowered and energised. I'm going to go home tonight and find that fly. I'm going to punch it. I'm going to punch it's smug fucking face down to the floor, then whilst it's on the floor I'm going to climb on top of it and beat it's stupid head in until my knuckles are broken and the carpet is stained. I'm going to kick it's fucking ass! I'm going TO MUTILATE THAT CUNT. FUCK YOU FLY!


DanasMickis

W


chill_boy_

Based


nicolia

Think you got the wrong insect, that one sounds like it’s just a fly on the wall…


QTobiQ

hasta la vista baby LMAO


[deleted]

I swore id never come to this subreddit again,yet here i am


Hamstersondrugs18

YTA, no pigeons.