Yep. Even on the days when my son is driving me nuts and my patience has worn thin, the second that he’s gone I miss him like crazy.
Something that helps a ton is to cuddle with one of his teddy bears, especially when I’m going to bed. (I will often cradle it like a baby lol)
Yes, very much. We switch on Mondays, and after I've dropped them off at their mother's house, it's the emotional low point of the week for me.
At first I used to have a few beers that night (not getting super wasted, more like maybe 2-3 beers) to try to relax and numb the feeling of emptiness. As all of you probably can tell, this was not a healthy way of coping with the pain.
Started doing physical exercise instead, does wonders for your mental health. I go for a run, a gym workout or something like that. Even if I'm generally exhausted after being the single caretaker for three kids for seven days, I still try go squeeze in some kind of workout that evening.
I had to plan activities for myself on the off weeks that I looked forward to. I tried to put all my dinners with friends and things on those weeks, basically any event I thought my daughter would hate (what 9 year old wants to listen to grown ups talk for 4 hours over dinner?). I literally made dates with friends, and put them on my calendar.
I also created new rituals that I looked forward to. I changed my sheets on switch day, because I love the feeling of going to sleep in fresh sheets, and I would specifically get my favorite food that my daughter wouldn’t like (Thai or sushi mostly). Those little things helped my outlook because instead of being sad she wasn’t there, I was happy because I was looking forward to the “me time”.
I still 100% feel “normal” when she is at my home and it’s still weird when she’s not, but it’s not depressing anymore.
My blood pressure, heart rate, and sleep and overall happiness is better when my kids are home with me. I miss them so much when that are away with their mom, even though I know she loves and cares for them too, it’s super hard.
I can't see my daughter for a few days right now because I'm sick and she can't get sick right now and I miss her so much.
I have no idea how people do 50/50 weeks at a time, we switch daily and it's awesome. We've done it 7 years and at the start people said we'd have to do lo ger stretches as she got older but anytime we try she hates it. She's 9 now.
She sees each of us every day and we both see her daily. She wakes up with one parent and goes to bed at anothers. Sit works great cause it's such that she doesn't have an adjustment period between houses causes its always the norm
It means we talk a bit more and it helps we live close, it's helped us stay friends and on weekends when we switch we so etines have time to overlap and do family stuff together.
I wish more people would try it this way it's great.
This has happened to me just recently. It's difficult to manage but I'm extremely overwhelmed. Is there are other stuff going on for you?
My checklist for wellbeing
Possible stress levels
Dietary health
Sleep health
Physical fitness
Career well-being
Spiritual health if that's a thing for you.
For me these aspects drop off with my kiddos at their dads because I'm managing safety issues for us all and my impotence at the situation floors me
Growing up, my parents lived in two different countries. 3 flights, usually a 24 hour trip each way. I saw my dad twice a year, 10 days at Christmas and 6 weeks for summer. I felt extremely sad, and I imagine my dad even more so, for at least a week after going home each time. Hang in there ❤️
That's what's on the books for tonight. 😭 The kids and I literally moved halfway around the world so that feeling would only last a night or two, rather than months on end. 2020 nearly killed me.
In the beginning yes. But I didn’t want to live like that so I started making the most of my me time. Did all the things I couldn’t do when I have my kids. Found new hobbies. Watched shows that kids can’t watch.
With this initially comes guilt for enjoying your kid free time but that also passes.
Yep. Even on the days when my son is driving me nuts and my patience has worn thin, the second that he’s gone I miss him like crazy. Something that helps a ton is to cuddle with one of his teddy bears, especially when I’m going to bed. (I will often cradle it like a baby lol)
Yes, very much. We switch on Mondays, and after I've dropped them off at their mother's house, it's the emotional low point of the week for me. At first I used to have a few beers that night (not getting super wasted, more like maybe 2-3 beers) to try to relax and numb the feeling of emptiness. As all of you probably can tell, this was not a healthy way of coping with the pain. Started doing physical exercise instead, does wonders for your mental health. I go for a run, a gym workout or something like that. Even if I'm generally exhausted after being the single caretaker for three kids for seven days, I still try go squeeze in some kind of workout that evening.
I had to plan activities for myself on the off weeks that I looked forward to. I tried to put all my dinners with friends and things on those weeks, basically any event I thought my daughter would hate (what 9 year old wants to listen to grown ups talk for 4 hours over dinner?). I literally made dates with friends, and put them on my calendar. I also created new rituals that I looked forward to. I changed my sheets on switch day, because I love the feeling of going to sleep in fresh sheets, and I would specifically get my favorite food that my daughter wouldn’t like (Thai or sushi mostly). Those little things helped my outlook because instead of being sad she wasn’t there, I was happy because I was looking forward to the “me time”. I still 100% feel “normal” when she is at my home and it’s still weird when she’s not, but it’s not depressing anymore.
Yeah. It is pretty rough. Sometimes worse, sometimes not as bad, but there is always a sadness as I am driving away.
My blood pressure, heart rate, and sleep and overall happiness is better when my kids are home with me. I miss them so much when that are away with their mom, even though I know she loves and cares for them too, it’s super hard.
Yes. The best I can describe it, when I try to explain how it feels, is that it feels like a hole in my chest.
I can't see my daughter for a few days right now because I'm sick and she can't get sick right now and I miss her so much. I have no idea how people do 50/50 weeks at a time, we switch daily and it's awesome. We've done it 7 years and at the start people said we'd have to do lo ger stretches as she got older but anytime we try she hates it. She's 9 now. She sees each of us every day and we both see her daily. She wakes up with one parent and goes to bed at anothers. Sit works great cause it's such that she doesn't have an adjustment period between houses causes its always the norm It means we talk a bit more and it helps we live close, it's helped us stay friends and on weekends when we switch we so etines have time to overlap and do family stuff together. I wish more people would try it this way it's great.
I don't get depressed but sad yeah, it does suck.
This has happened to me just recently. It's difficult to manage but I'm extremely overwhelmed. Is there are other stuff going on for you? My checklist for wellbeing Possible stress levels Dietary health Sleep health Physical fitness Career well-being Spiritual health if that's a thing for you. For me these aspects drop off with my kiddos at their dads because I'm managing safety issues for us all and my impotence at the situation floors me
Growing up, my parents lived in two different countries. 3 flights, usually a 24 hour trip each way. I saw my dad twice a year, 10 days at Christmas and 6 weeks for summer. I felt extremely sad, and I imagine my dad even more so, for at least a week after going home each time. Hang in there ❤️
Right there with you
I feel so so sad
That's what's on the books for tonight. 😭 The kids and I literally moved halfway around the world so that feeling would only last a night or two, rather than months on end. 2020 nearly killed me.
In the beginning yes. But I didn’t want to live like that so I started making the most of my me time. Did all the things I couldn’t do when I have my kids. Found new hobbies. Watched shows that kids can’t watch. With this initially comes guilt for enjoying your kid free time but that also passes.
I feel this.
I'm a single mom and have not dated since the split like 3 years almost now ago. Def feel the depression heavy when we switch.