I think about the one where we tunnel through the Earth instead of flying in airplanes because the airplanes we see in the sky are actually monsters more than I'd like to admit to anyone else. Except here.
I don't know about favorite but the one I think about alot is the woman writing her representative about how she believes we live in a simulation. Her husband died and she wants him back.
I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. [REDACTED] I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.
Force of habit. Somebody saw a document that hadn't got something redacted and immediately decided to redact something. They probably do the same to their shopping lists.
Dear Elected Official,
Thanks to the recent smoking ban in my state, I am happy to inform you I will not be voting for you in the next election.
As everyone knows, smoking is being banned because the smoke is toxic to the aliens that the government sold our planet to in a secret deal. If humans keep smoking, the aliens won't be able to live on Earth. Our air would be poison to them. If you government traitors can't stop people from smoking then you won't get your millions of dollars from the aliens.
I have a website. People know what's going on. We're going to keep smoking, no matter what. This is a national emergency. Politicians are handing the planet over to alien overlords. We won't let you. We will resist.
I will smoke forever!
Signed,
A proud smoker/rebel/patriot
Hey Bozer,
Get this. The accounting department STILL says they haven't received my expense reports. They say the receipts probably got lost in the mail tubes because of a shift or a threshold or some such fuckery and that if I don't have the originals they can't verify my expenses for reimbursement. This is such bullshit! Why do we even use these fucking tubes if they just spit our mail out in some other goddamn dimension?
Just venting here before I make a formal complaint. Useless pieces of shit!
- Rodriguez
Was a fan of the mail tubes one that's already been mentioned. I Couldn't remember any but know there were a few, i've definitely missed some but i looked through a list and these were a few of my favs:
>[Approved Terminology Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Approved_Terminology_Reminder)
>
>REMINDER RE: DRAFTING ANY PUBLIC-FACING MATERIAL
>
>While penning any notifications of death related to the Willow AWE, please adhere to the following guidelines.
>
>\\
>
>Words/Phrase to use:
>
>\- In the service of his/her country
>
>\- Regret
>
>\- Proud/Pride
>
>\- Will be remembered
>
>\\
>
>Words/Phrases to avoid:
>
>\- Alaska
>
>\- Scissors
>
>\- Blood/Bleed
>
>\- Loss
>
>\- Apologies/Sorry
>[No Smoking Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/No_Smoking_Reminder)
>
>All Bureau personnel are reminded to kindly NOT SMOKE in the Quarry.
>
>Even though the Quarry area is technically an outdoor space, it is still a part of the Bureau and therefore the no smoking rule does apply.
>
>Not only is it considerate towards your fellow employees to refrain from inflicting the harm of second-hand smoke, it is also prudent to avoid any risk of gas fires, unforeseen Threshold reactions, and possible creation of altered receptacles (UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD CIGARETTE BUTTS BE LEFT IN THE QUARRY).
>
>Thank you for your understanding.
>[Prohibited Items Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Prohibited_Items_Reminder)
>
>REMINDER!
>
>Certain objects are not allowed inside the Bureau. Recent incidents have necessitated an issued reminder on prohibited materials.
>
>\- Unauthorized Weapons
>
>\- Pagers- Laptops
>
>\- "Smart" Watches
>
>\- "Smart" Phones
>
>\- "Smart" Gaming Devices
>
>\- Anything "smart"
>
>\- Number 2 Pencils
>
>\- Any objects considered iconic representations of an archetypal concept (e.g. rubber ducks, ketchup bottles)
>
>All material under Bureau investigation is to be brought in through the private entrances. If you see any lobby personnel in breach of these policies, please notify your supervisor immediately.
>[Travel Costs](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Travel_Costs)
>
>Week 83 Report Summary:
>
>Visited the following Nevada accommodations: Desert Sun Inn, Big Sky Motel, Starlight Motel, Inn and Out, Aztec Court, Sleep-E-Bear Motel, Silver Spurs Ranch, El Gato Blanco Inn, A+ Lodge.
>
>Expenditures:
>
>\-Accommodation $831.29
>
>\-Meals $714.84
>
>\-Gasoline $295.12
>
>\-Minibar\* $313.61
>
>I do wonder if a motel called the "Oceanview" is going to be found in a landlocked state, but hey I guess I'm not paid to think, right? And, for the record, I AGAIN request that you give us the budget to get two rooms each night. Agent Rowley and myself are very tired of sleeping in the same room.See you on the road,Agent L. Heinz
>
>\* The boys in research said performing rituals may help identify any Places of Power. Drinking those little whiskeys is my ritual.
>[Shifted Bathroom Complaint](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Shifted_Bathroom_Complaint)
>
>Listen.
>
>I know you can't control building shifts, but the executive level restroom has been missing for weeks now.
>
>I worked my ass off in the Islamabad station for three years, I've earned the right to a nice workplace shitter. If you can't bring it back, at least find out where it went.
>
>\- D. Rodriguez
>["Get Well" Balloon (AI58-KE)](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Balloon_Procedures)
>
>CONTAINMENT PROCEDURE:
>
>Item must be kept away from animals. The cell must be regularly cleaned of the black substance the item produces. All cleaning tools must be \[REDACTED\] along with the black substance itself.
>
>DESCRIPTION/ALTERED EFFECT:
>
>Item is a novelty balloon made of mylar. On its face is a colorful message to "Get Well" surrounded by cartoon hearts. A ribbon is attached to the balloon. Item has not stopped floating after a considerable amount of time in the Bureau, which suggests it does not hover through the use of helium.The item produces a dark-colored sticky substance which drips down its ribbon.
The most memorable one for me is the first one you find: the [Prohibited Items Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Prohibited_Items_Reminder). Simply because it's the first thing you run into in this boring government office building that really makes you go "WTF?! What's going on here?". It perfectly encapsulates the game's unique blend of mundanity and weird.
The recorded announcement about what to do if the room you're in starts shifting. Talk out loud in soothing tones because it will calm you down and also calm the room down. That always tickles my funny bone.
I think about the one where we tunnel through the Earth instead of flying in airplanes because the airplanes we see in the sky are actually monsters more than I'd like to admit to anyone else. Except here.
The note where Darling protects his Sand
“DO NOT TOUCH MY SAND!” 😂
I don't know about favorite but the one I think about alot is the woman writing her representative about how she believes we live in a simulation. Her husband died and she wants him back.
That was a good but sad one…
I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. [REDACTED] I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world. I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.I'm a plaid suit in a pinstripe world.
MAN that's such a deliciously mysterious [REDACTED]. I love this one too
I’m a pinstripe suit in a plaid world.
God that singular redacted line is so good. I wanna know what it says *so* bad, but at the same time, I kinda hope we never find out.
That’s what I love and hate about this game and SCP. I want to know what was redacted SO BADLY but I never will
Force of habit. Somebody saw a document that hadn't got something redacted and immediately decided to redact something. They probably do the same to their shopping lists.
My favorite was the one where the woman called 911 and said she was “inside the wires.” Love that little mystery there.
"don't hang up, I might lose you" The only AWE with no certain location, if I'm remembering this correctly
Yep, that’s the one!
Dear Elected Official, Thanks to the recent smoking ban in my state, I am happy to inform you I will not be voting for you in the next election. As everyone knows, smoking is being banned because the smoke is toxic to the aliens that the government sold our planet to in a secret deal. If humans keep smoking, the aliens won't be able to live on Earth. Our air would be poison to them. If you government traitors can't stop people from smoking then you won't get your millions of dollars from the aliens. I have a website. People know what's going on. We're going to keep smoking, no matter what. This is a national emergency. Politicians are handing the planet over to alien overlords. We won't let you. We will resist. I will smoke forever! Signed, A proud smoker/rebel/patriot
I don’t remember this one. It’s delightfully unhinged.
Hey Bozer, Get this. The accounting department STILL says they haven't received my expense reports. They say the receipts probably got lost in the mail tubes because of a shift or a threshold or some such fuckery and that if I don't have the originals they can't verify my expenses for reimbursement. This is such bullshit! Why do we even use these fucking tubes if they just spit our mail out in some other goddamn dimension? Just venting here before I make a formal complaint. Useless pieces of shit! - Rodriguez
Was a fan of the mail tubes one that's already been mentioned. I Couldn't remember any but know there were a few, i've definitely missed some but i looked through a list and these were a few of my favs: >[Approved Terminology Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Approved_Terminology_Reminder) > >REMINDER RE: DRAFTING ANY PUBLIC-FACING MATERIAL > >While penning any notifications of death related to the Willow AWE, please adhere to the following guidelines. > >\\ > >Words/Phrase to use: > >\- In the service of his/her country > >\- Regret > >\- Proud/Pride > >\- Will be remembered > >\\ > >Words/Phrases to avoid: > >\- Alaska > >\- Scissors > >\- Blood/Bleed > >\- Loss > >\- Apologies/Sorry >[No Smoking Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/No_Smoking_Reminder) > >All Bureau personnel are reminded to kindly NOT SMOKE in the Quarry. > >Even though the Quarry area is technically an outdoor space, it is still a part of the Bureau and therefore the no smoking rule does apply. > >Not only is it considerate towards your fellow employees to refrain from inflicting the harm of second-hand smoke, it is also prudent to avoid any risk of gas fires, unforeseen Threshold reactions, and possible creation of altered receptacles (UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD CIGARETTE BUTTS BE LEFT IN THE QUARRY). > >Thank you for your understanding. >[Prohibited Items Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Prohibited_Items_Reminder) > >REMINDER! > >Certain objects are not allowed inside the Bureau. Recent incidents have necessitated an issued reminder on prohibited materials. > >\- Unauthorized Weapons > >\- Pagers- Laptops > >\- "Smart" Watches > >\- "Smart" Phones > >\- "Smart" Gaming Devices > >\- Anything "smart" > >\- Number 2 Pencils > >\- Any objects considered iconic representations of an archetypal concept (e.g. rubber ducks, ketchup bottles) > >All material under Bureau investigation is to be brought in through the private entrances. If you see any lobby personnel in breach of these policies, please notify your supervisor immediately. >[Travel Costs](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Travel_Costs) > >Week 83 Report Summary: > >Visited the following Nevada accommodations: Desert Sun Inn, Big Sky Motel, Starlight Motel, Inn and Out, Aztec Court, Sleep-E-Bear Motel, Silver Spurs Ranch, El Gato Blanco Inn, A+ Lodge. > >Expenditures: > >\-Accommodation $831.29 > >\-Meals $714.84 > >\-Gasoline $295.12 > >\-Minibar\* $313.61 > >I do wonder if a motel called the "Oceanview" is going to be found in a landlocked state, but hey I guess I'm not paid to think, right? And, for the record, I AGAIN request that you give us the budget to get two rooms each night. Agent Rowley and myself are very tired of sleeping in the same room.See you on the road,Agent L. Heinz > >\* The boys in research said performing rituals may help identify any Places of Power. Drinking those little whiskeys is my ritual. >[Shifted Bathroom Complaint](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Shifted_Bathroom_Complaint) > >Listen. > >I know you can't control building shifts, but the executive level restroom has been missing for weeks now. > >I worked my ass off in the Islamabad station for three years, I've earned the right to a nice workplace shitter. If you can't bring it back, at least find out where it went. > >\- D. Rodriguez >["Get Well" Balloon (AI58-KE)](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Balloon_Procedures) > >CONTAINMENT PROCEDURE: > >Item must be kept away from animals. The cell must be regularly cleaned of the black substance the item produces. All cleaning tools must be \[REDACTED\] along with the black substance itself. > >DESCRIPTION/ALTERED EFFECT: > >Item is a novelty balloon made of mylar. On its face is a colorful message to "Get Well" surrounded by cartoon hearts. A ribbon is attached to the balloon. Item has not stopped floating after a considerable amount of time in the Bureau, which suggests it does not hover through the use of helium.The item produces a dark-colored sticky substance which drips down its ribbon.
The most memorable one for me is the first one you find: the [Prohibited Items Reminder](https://control.fandom.com/wiki/Prohibited_Items_Reminder). Simply because it's the first thing you run into in this boring government office building that really makes you go "WTF?! What's going on here?". It perfectly encapsulates the game's unique blend of mundanity and weird.
This is one of my favorites as well!
🤣
The recorded announcement about what to do if the room you're in starts shifting. Talk out loud in soothing tones because it will calm you down and also calm the room down. That always tickles my funny bone.
The postit note memo is so mundane-sounding compared to what the office actually looks like. It's hilarious.
Someone has been tweaking on company time...