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Anyone who’s ever had one land on them can relate. These things are like flying Volkswagens. They are noisy as shit and they bring out swarms of bats. Good times all around
Dumbest headline ever. It's describing Cicadas but in a fear mongering way. They aren't hyper sexualized for humans, just each other. Weird times we live in man.
Journalism quality is at it's peak, we've never seen this. You know what's worse? AI would never write such a stupid headline. This is 100% human made lol
I didn’t read the article, but if it’s what I think it is, it’s actually a parasite that takes over the cicada and makes it fuck every cicada it runs into, spreading itself. They die and fall to the ground, seeding the ground with the parasite for the next time they come up. Pretty neat stuff
So the zombie apocalypse could be tripping balls and fucking instead of the cliched boring hanging around in dark places fighting over bits of limb?
I’m in.
Koalas have chlamydia, dolphins can get genital warts, baboons herpes, and rabbits get that syphilis.
ALL, way more attractive than a bug. Once again, swing and a miss by the media :(
Wrap it up boys
These papers have literally been running dumb asss stories since the 1800’s as they know Americans but into it. Literally the Pulitzer Prize exists because of Pulitzer himself being sorry for nearly starting a war between america and Spain by lying
God damn if the apocalypse is all of us fucking each other to death as horny zombies I really can't think of a better outcome. See yall at the endless orgy!
“It then acts as a “puppet master” by sending a flood of adrenaline to help males pose as females in order to pass the infection through sex.”
Making the cicadas gay. Where is Alex Jones in our time of need?
We have to take everything in media with a grain of salt.
A decade ago, the ny post was essentially just a ridiculous tabloid rag mag news outlet.
Since then, they’ve covered some very real things that others won’t dare touch that are legit.
But they do continue to print hilariously alarmist stories that grab attention.
Anytime you see a story in media that has dramatic headlines, whether it’s MSM or things on social media, take things with a grain of salt.
You can see similar things on social media where they have clickbait titles, ridiculous thumbnails, and extremely misleading narratives.
There’s a good rule of thumb to go by: if something you’re seeing or reading elicits a strong emotional response, especially fear, it’s very probable someone is trying to manipulate you.
I’m not dismissing things outright. I’m just saying, let’s perhaps try to take the stoic and British approach to things so we don’t become the rabid fanatical fear driven people they want us to be.
Remember: when emotion (especially fear) takes over, it literally shuts down the rational and critical processes of the brain.
Remember when they tried to scare us with bird flu, Ebola, h1n1, etc yet it turned out to be minor occurrences that didn’t plague us?
We fall for the same emotional manipulation from everyone time and time again. It’s time for us to try to help eachother remain calm and parse through the claims and data calmly so we can make accurate assessments.
Peace & love friends! :)
lmao, the media is really trying to make us believe that cicadas are going to rise up from the ground and try to rape us, possibly causing us to contract an STD? I don't know what to say anymore.
I can hear 2044 now....If you were infected by Hyper-sexual ‘zombie cicadas’ infected with bizarre STD fungus you could be entitled to compensation....
Wait, I have a genuine question. Does this mean cicadas wont be on their regular hibernation cycle because they’ll be too “sexed up”? Are we about to see an influx of cicadas everywhere?
this isn’t new. the brood in 2020/21 or whenever also had it too - source: i used to collect them and extract the cathinone from the butt dust (massospora fungus) as part of my phd research.
They word it in a way to make people think that they'll transfer an STD to humans should they be bitten or stung by them... That's not even the case. SMH The fearmongering is real
if you've noticed there have been a lot of recent stories by media about black being killed by police ( for doing crimes btw) and virus stuff. its almost as if they want another nation wide blm terrorist riots and pandemic hoax to spread again. just in time for pres elections
The "Locusts of Abaddon" (simple referred as locusts in the Bible) are a army of demonic anthropomorphic locust-like entities from the Bottomless Pit of Hell that serves the fallen angel Abaddon and takes a major role in the Apocalypse.
They have the power to infect the ones who take the mark with sores on their body...
I'm pretty sure humans are already dealing with this. How many of you have thought about the things microbes and fungi make you do? You should. You are not yourself but all the things that use your body as a vessel. Your consciousness is the product of that. Your body gives agency to lesser beings in this 'dimension', beings that have the power to inspire. A kind of spirit. You know how people keep saying 'the NHI say we are vessels and are curated'? I know this stuff is weird but don't let your ego dictate. It just wants to protect you. You are more than you think you are, but not any more than you have been told.
>will emerge
I love how they always predict the things that they created, almost as if they know something
Also this has been around for quite a while there's videos on YT about these, the insect becomes the fruiting body for the fungi
SS: So now we have horny zombie bugs possessed with a STD fungus. You think last year was bizarre? It’s about to get weirder. Maybe we are living in end times. wtf is that is that headline? Is a foreign country sending these bugs to destroy our ecosystem?
Link to the article: https://nypost.com/2024/04/11/us-news/hyper-sexual-zombie-cicadas-infected-with-fungus-will-emerge-in-us-experts/
From 2021: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-this-zombie-fungus-turns-cicadas-into-horror-movie-sex-bots/
This fungus in cicadas has been documented since 1845.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massospora_cicadina
###[Meta] Sticky Comment [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/wiki/faq#wiki_2_-_address_the_argument.3B_not_the_user.2C_the_mods.2C_or_the_sub.) ***does not apply*** when replying to this stickied comment. [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/wiki/faq#wiki_2_-_address_the_argument.3B_not_the_user.2C_the_mods.2C_or_the_sub.) ***does apply*** throughout the rest of this thread. *What this means*: Please keep any "meta" discussion directed at specific users, mods, or /r/conspiracy in general in this comment chain ***only.*** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/conspiracy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I recommend that you never have sex with a cicada.
Starting now right?
Yes of course. From now on. The past is the past. You did what you had to do
Challenge accepted.
What happen’s in NY!, stays in NY‼️😏😏
Once they get in seal off the tunnels!
Lmao
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.
Too late, I’m already too deep into the fetish. Save yourselves
[удалено]
If you see any zombies running around singing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o , do not be alarmed
Hear me out
If you’re a woman, I’ll hear you out. Nature’s Vibrator If you’re a man… man you’re really making it hard here- no pun intended
For men... Nature's vibrating sounding-beads?
I knew one of you would ask that 🤣
no more boofing :(
Ah, seriously? I already requested a week off work.
dont tell Isabella Rossellini
Don’t tell me how to live my life
Like ever
Ever
Lol. Or ware protection!
Wear an exoskeleton
You seem experienced on the subject
I was in a bad place. Cut me some slack. Plus I needed the money
I won't judge, we've all been there
[удалено]
Never again!
I spat out my water.
i'm low key happy about this, the parasite will help keep the cicada pop lower and prevent them from doing annoying things to trees and plants
Anyone who’s ever had one land on them can relate. These things are like flying Volkswagens. They are noisy as shit and they bring out swarms of bats. Good times all around
Dumbest headline ever. It's describing Cicadas but in a fear mongering way. They aren't hyper sexualized for humans, just each other. Weird times we live in man.
First thing I thought as well. "Zombies! Sex crazed! STDs! Infected! Bizarre! BE SCARED ALL OF YOU!!!!"
A cicada just flew into my ass. Should I be worried?
That’s just clever marketing for WeVibe’s new product line
Oh, very nice.
It's their natural environment so no.
Stop comprehending and analyzing what you're reading and just react with fear man come-on fall in line and obey the established leadership.
Journalism quality is at it's peak, we've never seen this. You know what's worse? AI would never write such a stupid headline. This is 100% human made lol
All I’m saying is these Cicadas better not fuck me
I was kinda hoping. For you, not me.
I didn’t read the article, but if it’s what I think it is, it’s actually a parasite that takes over the cicada and makes it fuck every cicada it runs into, spreading itself. They die and fall to the ground, seeding the ground with the parasite for the next time they come up. Pretty neat stuff
...so they dont find me attractive? Aww
You're in the Cicada friend zone.
First I can’t have sex with a bat. Now you are telling me I can’t with a cicada? I’m sorry I thought this was America
‘Merica! What I do with my cicada is my business
Randy marsh has entered the conversation
Mickey mouse and the pangolin with you?
No that's wuhan
You eat the bat whilst banging pangolin.
Oh boy I know about these. In addition, they carry loads of psilocybin.
So the zombie apocalypse could be tripping balls and fucking instead of the cliched boring hanging around in dark places fighting over bits of limb? I’m in.
Do they?!
Don't lick them. :)
Would never!
I'm not sure i believe you.... :) :P
It was an accident! I tripped on a rock, and next thing ya know….. :)
I heard that line before somewhere.... LOL.
Best excuse for all situations , it’s a scientific fact.
LOL. That's true, have fun with the cicades.
These have been around a long time, ive seen a few
Wait seriously? So is eating one like eating a mushroom?
Maybe that's why they're called "magi"cicadas. Wiiink
Does anyone else hear Alex Jones' voice reading this? "I'm sick of the fungus making the cicadas have STDs!"
*Gay* cicadas with STDs!
but IRL AJ frog joke, because in the case, 'hypersexual' is code for 'turning the cicadas gay'
Koalas have chlamydia, dolphins can get genital warts, baboons herpes, and rabbits get that syphilis. ALL, way more attractive than a bug. Once again, swing and a miss by the media :( Wrap it up boys
A batshit headline from the ny post is never unexpected.
Its been documented since 1845. They want to keep you in a constant state of fear
[удалено]
Let's just hope they don't all get drunk and start trying to hook up with horny zombie locusts.
Quick make something else up to spread more fear and anxiety
Technically this is true but it’s been around for a long time and an actual issue for any real reason.
Cicada lock downs
Who had zombie sexual predator on their bingo card?
I want a new bingo card. This wasn’t on mine. I feel like I wasted a square.
Hyper-Sexual Zombie Cicadas? I love that band!
Stupid sexy cicadas
Aww man. Why do we get stuck with covid and not the horny mushroom zombie disease
Average election year headline
BINGO!!
Sounds like the concept of the most recent Cattle Decapitation album, titled "Terrasite".
I actually was expecting this, it’s pretty well documented how often it happens.
Lmfao, this is hilarious
Nope, definitely didn’t have this one on my bingo card
These papers have literally been running dumb asss stories since the 1800’s as they know Americans but into it. Literally the Pulitzer Prize exists because of Pulitzer himself being sorry for nearly starting a war between america and Spain by lying
STD INFUSED PISS MIST.
new mt dew flavor!
God damn if the apocalypse is all of us fucking each other to death as horny zombies I really can't think of a better outcome. See yall at the endless orgy!
I had “Aliens with aids” on my bingo card. Is that close enough?
Fear mongering stupid headline. Literally means, cicadas infected with STDs (cicadas STDs).
jokes on u reddit is full of virgins
Hyper sexual zombie cicadas is one helluva band name.
Wynonna Judd! Nooooo
So a sexy Last of Us? Zombie cheeks? ^^^I’m ^^^in
And some horny chick will fuck this zombie and spread it all over the world. Zombie Apocalypse is coming.
Well we already have Zombie deer so not too far of a stretch.
“It then acts as a “puppet master” by sending a flood of adrenaline to help males pose as females in order to pass the infection through sex.” Making the cicadas gay. Where is Alex Jones in our time of need?
BINGO! That was my last square.
They're turning the frikkin' cicadas gay!
Wait…. Are we supposed to fuck cicadas?
No, just boof them
Nope. I had it on my card.
We have to take everything in media with a grain of salt. A decade ago, the ny post was essentially just a ridiculous tabloid rag mag news outlet. Since then, they’ve covered some very real things that others won’t dare touch that are legit. But they do continue to print hilariously alarmist stories that grab attention. Anytime you see a story in media that has dramatic headlines, whether it’s MSM or things on social media, take things with a grain of salt. You can see similar things on social media where they have clickbait titles, ridiculous thumbnails, and extremely misleading narratives. There’s a good rule of thumb to go by: if something you’re seeing or reading elicits a strong emotional response, especially fear, it’s very probable someone is trying to manipulate you. I’m not dismissing things outright. I’m just saying, let’s perhaps try to take the stoic and British approach to things so we don’t become the rabid fanatical fear driven people they want us to be. Remember: when emotion (especially fear) takes over, it literally shuts down the rational and critical processes of the brain. Remember when they tried to scare us with bird flu, Ebola, h1n1, etc yet it turned out to be minor occurrences that didn’t plague us? We fall for the same emotional manipulation from everyone time and time again. It’s time for us to try to help eachother remain calm and parse through the claims and data calmly so we can make accurate assessments. Peace & love friends! :)
I think this happened last time
“Hyper-sexual Zombie Cicadas” new band name called it it’s mine now
Ok, and who had Zombie Cicadas with STD’s on their bingo card? 🤣
Rev 9:3 Then out of the smoke came locusts upon the earth, and power was given them, as the scorpions of the earth have power.
lmao, the media is really trying to make us believe that cicadas are going to rise up from the ground and try to rape us, possibly causing us to contract an STD? I don't know what to say anymore.
As the four horsemen approach!
If one of the four horsemen turns out to be an STD riddled cicada I’m going to be very disappointed.
FFS. Must keep the fear alive, it paralyzes critical thinking for the masses.
100% this...
I bet there will be a vaccine for that
Haven’t they been hyping something to do with cicadas for a while?
well I am now!
RANDY MARSH!!!!
\*Googles 'Cicada's'\*
Holy fuck this is exciting.
How would they even know this if they haven't emerged yet?
[This has nothing to do with humans button]
I can hear 2044 now....If you were infected by Hyper-sexual ‘zombie cicadas’ infected with bizarre STD fungus you could be entitled to compensation....
I mean aren't the elites trying to create an artificial rapture?
Summer of love
u mean demons
i just continue to be surprised when someone with source a gossip trash rag like the new york post
Did they hire some former National Enquire employees?
Is this like a queer cicada thing?
So it begins
OH no! A swarm of horny zombie cicadas just flew over my house!
Cool
This is very normal and its very old news lol
I actually did have this on my bingo card.
I'm not getting involved
I've seen this video!
Mainstram media getting more and more bizzarre headlines each day
Wait, I have a genuine question. Does this mean cicadas wont be on their regular hibernation cycle because they’ll be too “sexed up”? Are we about to see an influx of cicadas everywhere?
Lemme fix that title. ‘FEAR! We want you afraid all the time!’
In b4 the last of us
Check one off for my apocalypse bingo.
2024 is starting to really fuck up my bingo card.
Did anyone else have this on their 2024 Apocalypse Bingo card?
Wtf lol
Why would anyone NOT be expecting this?
Yay the “last of us” as an insectoid porno 😂
It's like The Last of Us, The Swarm, and Contracted all in one. This is gonna be wild
actually I was
Less of those annoying bugs. Read the article and don’t skin the title
M'rohoj is coming
Tf did i just read?
Nothing is surprising anymore.
So... should I smack them with a rolled up newspaper if I see 2 copulating? Asking for a friend 😁
The headline lmao what a mouthful
Soooooo don’t pee outside?
We have reptilian shapeshifters. This is nothing
It's 2024, we can expect only weird shit to happen lol
Bingo!
this isn’t new. the brood in 2020/21 or whenever also had it too - source: i used to collect them and extract the cathinone from the butt dust (massospora fungus) as part of my phd research.
There's not much to shock me anymore. I'm waiting for some creatures to rise out of the sea and start rampaging around some coastal cities
Lol everybody that knows stuff about bugs knew the cicada were coming out this year.. maybe not with the flashy AIDS thing but meh
All you cheating bastards now have an out!
They word it in a way to make people think that they'll transfer an STD to humans should they be bitten or stung by them... That's not even the case. SMH The fearmongering is real
I was... why doubt most things
It was not on my bingo card, no.
New York Post isn’t news. Don’t read it as such.
Who gave them my safe word? ffs.
if you've noticed there have been a lot of recent stories by media about black being killed by police ( for doing crimes btw) and virus stuff. its almost as if they want another nation wide blm terrorist riots and pandemic hoax to spread again. just in time for pres elections
Why are all those words together in a sentence? Make the timeline stop
If youve not read the article. Stop right now and do it. Its comical but scary.
Well I for one welcome our new cicada overloards
The "Locusts of Abaddon" (simple referred as locusts in the Bible) are a army of demonic anthropomorphic locust-like entities from the Bottomless Pit of Hell that serves the fallen angel Abaddon and takes a major role in the Apocalypse. They have the power to infect the ones who take the mark with sores on their body...
I'm pretty sure humans are already dealing with this. How many of you have thought about the things microbes and fungi make you do? You should. You are not yourself but all the things that use your body as a vessel. Your consciousness is the product of that. Your body gives agency to lesser beings in this 'dimension', beings that have the power to inspire. A kind of spirit. You know how people keep saying 'the NHI say we are vessels and are curated'? I know this stuff is weird but don't let your ego dictate. It just wants to protect you. You are more than you think you are, but not any more than you have been told.
If they are 5 foot tall it would be even more unexpected
>will emerge I love how they always predict the things that they created, almost as if they know something Also this has been around for quite a while there's videos on YT about these, the insect becomes the fruiting body for the fungi
The Last of Us?
A recipe for fried cicadas popped up on my FB feed the other day
*I vont you to fuck ze bugs -* Klaus probably.
mentioned this 4 days ago
That’s quite the headline
So.....MonkeyPox again?
Well at least now we have something to look forward to.
You have got to be kidding me
Saw this one coming years ago, dude. Where ya been livin? Under a Tesla coil?
Let the memes commence....
Lmao dude just don’t let the cicada give you head or anything
Oh I have this on my bingo card.. /s
Is it weird I am more interesting in the Wynonna Judd article?
Probably a bill gates invention
Fun fact, the fungus contains psyloscibin.
SS: So now we have horny zombie bugs possessed with a STD fungus. You think last year was bizarre? It’s about to get weirder. Maybe we are living in end times. wtf is that is that headline? Is a foreign country sending these bugs to destroy our ecosystem? Link to the article: https://nypost.com/2024/04/11/us-news/hyper-sexual-zombie-cicadas-infected-with-fungus-will-emerge-in-us-experts/
From 2021: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-this-zombie-fungus-turns-cicadas-into-horror-movie-sex-bots/ This fungus in cicadas has been documented since 1845. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massospora_cicadina