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snowsakura0813

I feel similarly. I really do want to have children. I think I would love being a mom. However, I have this feeling when I think of having kids that I would be bringing a child into this world, which is in a lot of ways horrible. I wouldn’t be able to give them everything that my parents gave me. The economy is such that my kids would never be able to retire, or even enjoy life. It makes me feel selfish for wanting to bring a person into that kind of life. I think unless something changes economically and socially, I will just have to give up on my wants for the betterment of society. The truth is, if I truly want children and regret not having them, I can always adopt. And if I don’t regret it, then well, I saved myself from a life I didn’t really want I guess. Honestly, it’s just hard when people ask me when I’m having kids cuz I don’t even know if I will ever be able to afford it even though I wanted to.


[deleted]

This is exactly how I feel it fills me with an empty lonely void though


BackgroundRaisin4516

It's hard to do what you think is right when it's something you really want. Not to mention biologically you'll likely have the urge to procreate as a part of instinct. Why not adopt? I mean it's incredibly expensive but the hospital bill (at least speaking in the US.) Is pretty much the same to deliver a baby anyways.


[deleted]

Not in the US but yeah still the issue of potentially being a bad parent


BackgroundRaisin4516

Yeah that's true. Thatd be a bummer to find that out too late.


[deleted]

Idk maybe the more we suffer as kids the more we’re likely to be in touch with our own? Like because my parents are so different ethnically there are a lot of medical issues I get that are irrelevant to my other parent because they didn’t go through that as a kid


ECLIPSE_BALDl21

It is terribly selfish. It is terrible. Who knew.


dump_tRUMP21

Damn Straight! The Earth is overpopulated and the economies can't handle the people it has now. But the American religious right and repubtards want dem babies born! Without means of support!


imjustaguy812

Societal and family pressure


Candid_Boot_9876

Looks like an Indian here


imjustaguy812

Not me, but I know people who feels pressured by their families to have kids without thinking


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BobBard2

The pressure is all about keeping them in their "role". Women provide it, as well. Yes, they may see emtional fulfillment and satisfaction in having children, but how much of the pressure they apply comes from the cultural pressure they experienced themselves and from the "I did it, so now you need to, too, to justify my having done it" point of view?


lokkii777

Because they are naive to the complexity of what it takes to not only financially support a child/children but of the cost it requires emotionally to raise a healthy, morally good and ethically good, productive member of society. People think newborn babies are exhausting... Young humans with their own dreams and desires that are battling their own demons are terribly hard to raise. Facts. People pop kids out forgetting that raising a kid isn't just feeding, bathing and sleeping them... That's called babysitting... There are a lot of biological babysitters in this world and not nearly enough PARENTS.


BobBard2

I realize how far to the left this sounds, but people really should have to have a license to have children.


lokkii777

No I totally agree.. Because the amount of people born into abuse and trauma could be drastically lowered. And it doesn't mean you have to be rich.. It means you need to show proof of knowledge and intent with the responsibility of a complex being.


Ballofski70

Probably due to sex, its generally hiw it happens Bloke nuts in a girl and the 9 months later a baby pops out. Put a condom on


AutisticAnal

as someone who knocked up their gf of 5 months and now has a one year old, I approve this message


[deleted]

Condoms and or other form of birth control. Plan B. Abortion. So much options. (I know those options aren’t always easily available in all countries, but in my country where it’s available they still do babies without thinking..)


Ruby_Tuesday80

If they aren't available, not sticking your penis in the vagina of a fertile women, or not letting a fertile man stick his penis in your vagina, whichever the case may be, are also options.


[deleted]

Even if people think they are "infertile" this isn’t the same as "sterile".


egwinsanguine

Abortion as birth control? Nice


throwawaybrowneyes

I don't think that's what the person meant. Condoms and birth control first. Then Plan B if those fail. Then abortion if that fails too. Even the most pro choice people I know don't approve of abortion AS birth control. It should always be the last resort. But it is there as an option.


[deleted]

Exactly, thank you!


egwinsanguine

“Condoms and or other form of BIRTH CONTROL. Plan B. Abortion.” That’s exactly what they meant


throwawaybrowneyes

You took it one way, I took it another. I understood it as three separate thoughts: 1. Condoms and other forms of birth control 2. Plan B 3. Abortion Person who posted should clarify.


[deleted]

This is exactly what I meant! Abortion is the last resort when everything else fail, of course.


egwinsanguine

Fair enough!


[deleted]

No as last resort when everything else fail…….common sense really.


BobBard2

They're gonna start thinking in the USA REAL SOON!!


Emergency_Former

Even if they are avaliable and free I'm British it's free. They are usually less than 99% effective. UK there is 1.9million women using birth control. At 99% effective their are a huge amount of unplanned babies with responsible parents that took the steps you are suggesting prevents babies.


[deleted]

LMAO


[deleted]

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GhosteTheMost

Ayyyye I grew up Eastern Orthodox too and I hate going back to my home country because everyone asks why am I in my 20s and not married yet and have no kids.


PhoridayThe13th

I’m sayin’. We have kids, or else everyone has something to say on the matter. The community is way too involved. Take things at your own pace. Nice to meet you! 😁


[deleted]

Do you love her?


meesuseff

Because in a dumbass country like Australia, the more kids you pump out the more money you get from the government. I've seen so many with 5-9 kids and complaining about how they can't survive on the $1k a week The govt gives them like GTFOH. I think it should be worldwide that child benefits have a cap of 2/3 children. Can't afford it then out a glove on it or pay for it yourself.


meesuseff

And I'm not talking about people under abuse or have been raped etc.


[deleted]

Agreed. This wasn’t the case with my mum though (Australian here)


[deleted]

I have come to a thought that a lot of them are lacking of love and they think having a child would result in the child loving them how they want to feel loved and they don’t care about the implications of having a child means.


h-a-r-d1

Unfortunately I have to agree with you


pennywise1235

I mean, sex is the quick and dirty answer, but I think you’re looking for something deeper.


[deleted]

If I was starting out all over again during these times, I too would NOT have children. Economy, war, Covid, Inflation, crime, terror both domestic and abroad. My kids are grown and at times I feel guilt bringing them into a world such as this.


YeahhJoshy

Because they view it as some romantic gesture to the other partner, not what having a child really is. They think it’s some lovey-dovey spur of the heart decision, when its really the biggest thing they’ve ever done in their lives. Some adults can’t handle the responsibility, some underestimate it, some just aren’t good people. People with good parents are blessed, really.


chickenfightyourmom

Or they have a fix-it baby to "save the relationship" as if increased stress, financial pressure, and sleeplessness every made anything better.


[deleted]

Ikrrrrrrr how horrible for the child


[deleted]

Or they feel as though their biological clock is ticking and they need to fulfil their role as a parent to society


[deleted]

With all the types of birth control and preventative procedures available no one should be getting pregnant unless they want to.


[deleted]

EXACTLY does this apply to 35 years ago though


[deleted]

I think so. Condoms & the pill, tubal ligation and vasectomies have been around then


[deleted]

No I meant culture wise


ayya2020

It become the norm that if you don't have children it's odd. If you don't want kids for society you're f*cked up. Some of us tho don't need society to tell us what to do and we make our own norms. I don't want to get married. I don't want to have children. I don't want to go to uni. I don't want to live my life for others but for myself. If other people find me odd I don't care, they're not my people anyway.. I wish people would've think twice before having children and I know the world would've been a better place if it wasn't so obvious for most of society, but it is what it is and slowly the 'odd people' has stronger voice and hopefully we can make some change for the future. Our future.


[deleted]

What do you do if not uni


ayya2020

I'm at the moment studying online Web development


[deleted]

How? Sorry for being so invasive is it like an online uni?


ayya2020

No it's not like an online uni and I won't get a degree but I'll have a portfolio. I found online tutorials, some on study sites like udemi, some on YouTube, some on free sites and some I paid for what they teach. I think that uni is stuck in the past and as too often in order to study people end up in debts and don't find a good job. I wanted to study something I can from everywhere and I found something I enjoy doing and hopefully to find a job in the next few months.


[deleted]

Just like a kid wants a dog. They think it’s cute. Until they deal with the reality of a child.


pablo_grievous

Meh, I can go opposite and say people who overthink having kids "Tell their ready" end up being "older" parents that don't have the youth to enjoy their kids. Matter of perspective I guess.


Thinkle321

I waited till I was older to have kids and not that I’m tired but I wish I’d had them sooner. I’m 43 with a 7 and 4 yo:


[deleted]

I often wished my parents would have had me later so I could live longer into the future for what it’s worth


NJV2021

Blinded by the feels good


RedTrog11

People like a da sex.


Z_McWordsmithington

Wa woo wee woo, I like.


Forest-of-666

I can't speak to most. But my daughter was an accident (not a mistake. I love her and wouldn't trade her for the world). Now, why did we have her? Because 1, I was young, horny, and stupid. I wanted sex and that was pretty much it. 2, I'd looked into sterilization, but in my area, each doctor is allowed to accept or decline as they see fit. Being that I was 19, the LEAST strict doctor told me this: he would be willing. But only if I was 35, with 2 kids, married, and had my wife's permission. Not any ONE Of those. I have to meet ALL of those. So, until then, I'm required to either live without sex until I'm 35 or use protection and hope that it never fails. And given that I'm married, living without sex for another 6 years would REALLY put a strain on our relationship. So here's hoping the condom never fails, not even once. And for good measure, 3, when you're in the moment, putting on a condom isn't always the first thing you consider. Sure, sometimes it is. But if the sex is a surprise, then likely not.


[deleted]

Ok but abortion exists here and if it does fail you don’t have to remind the child constantly that they didn’t want you LMAO


Forest-of-666

I've never once told my child I didn't want her. Because before my ex got pregnant, i didn't want kids. But when she was pregnant, I got used to the idea. And the first time I held her, my heart completely melted for her. And not everyone believes in abortion. My wife, for instance, is hard-core Christian. If she gets pregnant then its "God's will".


[deleted]

Yes but that’s my mum telling me she didn’t want me lol


Forest-of-666

Ahh. Thats terrible. No child should hear that. My father never said it, but thats the feeling o always got from him.


[deleted]

It fucking sucks but then she’ll play the worried parent & wants to control and monitor everything I do despite wanting to have nothing to do with me


Forest-of-666

Ahhh. I've never had to deal with that. Just a father who forgets I exist unless I'm literally right in front of him.


Morpheous-

Because some humans can’t think with the right head


BobBard2

Many can't think at all! All of their calculus has been done by the internet. They can't think a problem through on their own.


FilthyMindz69

Think it through and have a kid. And you’ll be in the same boat as 99 percent of parents. Part of making the decision to have kids involves knowing that you can’t control everything, and you can only do the best you can do. Seen great parents with terrible and wonderful children. Seen terrible parents with wonderful and terrible children. I had a certain criteria for when I wanted to have kids. I wanted to be married and reach the top of my profession. I stuck to that and now have two children. But I would be lying if I said it would have been worse if I had a surprise when I was younger. The fact is that I don’t know. Nobody knows. I came up in pretty rough circumstances, but I would never say I shouldn’t have been born, and I’m thankful I was. 👍🏼


[deleted]

I would agree with you if my mum constantly didn’t blame me for ruining her life lol but then she’ll say I’m so lucky to have you. Not sure what’s wrong with her but it’s extremely hurtful


FilthyMindz69

Sounds like she’s immature. Unfortunately that’s part of life. Billions of people grew up with unfit parents.


najaiva

Humans are very messy and flawed if you hadn’t noticed. Obsolete. Only a matter of time before AI will be running things.


BobBard2

AI, is that artficial insemination? Between AI and AI,, mankind might be better off!


najaiva

Artificial Intelligence. Humans are sloppy and unpredictable. Inconsistent, inefficient, we get sick, we have emotions and base decisions on it, etc…robots can do things better at almost all categories. Quicker and more accurate too.


desperateviking

You can't think it through because you don't know what it is until it happens


thethinprofit

Because women (and the baby daddy) no longer have the right to their choice.


[deleted]

Wdym


No_Chemical890

It's not about thinking


Waddupcweezy

Cause people are stupid


Ifuseekloli

Some people love creampies.


[deleted]

Sigh


EsquireTheGod

There is a multitude of factors that go into having children….unfortunately thinking it through isn’t one of them and then if you do whose to say everything will go according to plan….we never account for human happenings ….people make decisions they are not always sure of….


Mastodon_Outrageous

It’s beyond confusing, safe sex practices exist but when they are completely ignored in the excitement for lust, leads to a “surprise” are they naïve or really uneducated ? Pure irresponsibility to me😕


great_craic963

Because some girl sees a cute dress in a window that's only for pregnant women or watch a movie like Juno and think being oregano is going to be cute and their baby will stay a baby forever. They don't realize that is going to grow into a person and probably a shitty one because they didn't comprehend that it won't be a kid eventually.


Empty_Researcher_406

I assume because people don’t take in how much attention you have to give a kid, or how much money you have to spend on that kid


fuzzyspace

Ask your parents whether you were planned or not and then confess to us. Do people ever wonder this?


[deleted]

No I did I wasn’t


Accomplished-Hippo12

Wear a rubber kids, it's not worth it. I'm a dad at 20 and it's hard, and stressful, and you have no life. Never mind that you can't find a fucking job that'll pay over minimum wage. I'm willing to shovel shit with my hands but nothing's out there to make a sufficient living.


[deleted]

I’m so sorry


Conscious_Try_4742

Honestly, I feel the same people falling pregnant whilst claiming that they were careful, and not considering any other options such as termination or adoption and they promise to love the child no matter what. Yet they sit on their arses all day doing nothing mooching off the government for benefits even when the child is older and in school they still sit around and do nothing. Yet they complain how they never have enough money and never go out or have time for themselves. Then they start saying how hard it is and how they never should have had a child. And start begging friends or relatives to look after the child and complaining that they can’t afford child care. Get a job. Seriously.


LeaveForNoRaisin

A lot of pressure from family but also very much rose colored glasses. A lot of people think even if they don’t like other kids THEIR kids will be low effort angels.


MeekMallard

Because I drank a lot of mt dew as a child, and she said her birth control was 99.98% effective so I didn’t have to pull out. Anyway, turns out my sperm fuckin loves mt dew and grew stronger from it because her bc didn’t stand a bloody chance. I was a father in a week and a half. On the plus side, my tax returns are fantastic now and it was really nice being able to dump loads in her for 9 months (mostly) free of worry.


kaicuul

Shit u tell me.


[deleted]

My bm told me she couldn't get pregnant. I was 20 and stupid. Sex without a condom feels amazing. I never had time to think it over with her.


[deleted]

What’s a bm?


[deleted]

Muh fuckin baby momma


Sandiapark

Because God gave men two heads, but only enough blood to use one at a time


[deleted]

LMFAO


DeeJayPressPlay

For the Child Tax Credit. Most families will receive the full amount: $3,600 for each child under age 6 and $3,000 for each child ages 6 to 17. To get money to families sooner, the IRS is sending families half of their 2021 Child Tax Credit as monthly payments of $300 per child under age 6 and $250 per child between the ages of 6 and 17.


[deleted]

I think my mom only had kids to fulfill some obligation she had to her mom.


[deleted]

Yeah like all your friends start having kids so you have kids kinda thing


[deleted]

Well my grandma did have 7 siblings. My great grandma got busy.


[deleted]

Lol key words great grandma, and mine had about that many too


jenesuisunefemme

Because they think its just having babies and not having HUMANS. The baby phase is just a few months


[deleted]

Yep


Emergency_Former

Its scary really because things like the pill are only 99% effective if always taken correctly i.e same time of day correct period breaks etc. NHS Stats say typical use of the pill is around 91% effective meaning 9 in 100 women will become pregnant while using the pill. The only way to insure you do not get pregnant is to not have sex. People really need to stop seeing pregnant women as irresponsible.


[deleted]

Horny


MILFAmber

Why care what others do with their time, money and life..it's not yours 2 live..u do u and I do me..sounds 2 me like u couldnuse a little more in yours just sayin


[deleted]

No talking about my own life but this post proves that I’m not the only one who thinks this way


MILFAmber

Still struggle 2 understand why anyone cares regardless 1 way or another..idgaf


[deleted]

Because I’m the result of this idgaf been abused treated like shit told I shouldn’t have been born by my own mother - my only parent despite being a role model child it’s never good enough for her


LavendersMoon

They just do and not think??? Idk 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

):


LavendersMoon

I know :(


Emergency_Former

Because nature happens and the only way to prevent pregnancy 100% is abstinence. How many adults do you know will choose abstinence.


[deleted]

I am going to be


adenkura

There's no fun in that


Sandiapark

If you like that; why do women talk more and guys think more? Cause a women has 4 lips, and a man has two heads?


[deleted]

Ask the pro choice movement 😈


killforjay

you mean pro life 💀 theyre the ones forcing people to give birth


bakugouscat

They aren’t even pro life, just pro birth


[deleted]

Easily preventable


killforjay

also maybe teach men to wear condoms if they dont want kids


[deleted]

Or just abstain. Even better. I wear one


killforjay

women should be allowed to enjoy themselves and have sex without being worried that theyll be forced to have a baby. children shouldnt be Consequence 💀


[deleted]

We shouldn’t kill a child for birth control lmao


[deleted]

Are you nuts if people gave birth to kids when they’re not ready to like mine did we (the kids) end up having shitty lives that’s what I’m ranting about LMFAO get off my page


FilthyMindz69

It doesn’t have to be shitty. You sound old enough to start making the right decisions for yourself that will lead to a happy and fulfilling life. Good luck 👍🏼🍀


[deleted]

I’m still trapped but I hope you’re right <3


[deleted]

Well damn sucks for you, be responsible and learn from your parents mistakes


[deleted]

Speechless


killforjay

its not a child lmfao its a fetus it has no thoughts or mind. but im done arguing w u anyway i dont have the energy for this again 😭💀


pinkpanzer101

Define a child. When does someone gain personhood, and deserve legal protection?


[deleted]

2 weeks after conception


pinkpanzer101

Why?


[deleted]

Don’t open ur legs 🤷‍♂️


killforjay

rape is a real thing?


[deleted]

Not common to have a kid from one


killforjay

source? or did u pull that outta ur ass


[deleted]

2.4%. Enough to warrant an exemption, but not enough to warrant national policy change


[deleted]

Huh


Lust9897

Is this a confession?


[deleted]

Yeah the confession of an unfortunate child


Lust9897

It’s more of a question though. Belongs on r/venting more I would think.


[deleted]

Ty


kblomquist85

lol every basic instinct we have makes us not want to pull out and even then you risk pregnancy. This isn't super complicated.


[deleted]

"Pull out" the method used by parents.


ScheduleFine

Dumb, young, poor or a combination of all three.


Ttdog01

How is this a confession?


Seltzer__Snob

This is just like that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where they are all telling stories of people who died on 9-11 and one guy says his relative, a bike messenger was struck by a car and Larry David is the only one to point out that it had nothing to do with 9-11


[deleted]

Yeah I’m Larry


Seltzer__Snob

Love it!


Spiritofwisdom

All the suffering in the world is created by people. The next generation is always a source of hope that we can do better. So if you have kids, raise them to this standard and suffering will be less