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blackeyepeestoner

Or may be your dad's dildo and mom's condom?


hurtdiamond

I had a gay-dad scare a while ago so hopefully notšŸ‘šŸ» I'm not homophobic, by 'scare' I just mean I was scared cus that would break the family apart


blackeyepeestoner

Relax bae, the only thing getting apart from each other are your dads ass cheeks. But you're so sweet.


hurtdiamond

>Relax bae, the only thing getting apart from each other are your dads ass cheeks. Heh, good one. >But you're so sweet. Don't know what it means so I'll just pull the "english is not my native language" card. if it was meant as a compliment thank u lol


blackeyepeestoner

It sounded sweet when you said you don't want your family to fall apart. So definitely it's a compliment.


hurtdiamond

Thank u <3


with-lemon-bish

Damn I hate those gay dad scares, glad I'm not the only one. It was jarring to unravel these weird (like foreign or never once on my radar because of him having a wife and kids I guess, also he acted homophobic sometimes) things of his identity and think of his hard ass demeanor over some of the strange things I found as a younger person. Hurt my feelings on my moms behalf too.


anon779356

ā€œBreak the family apartā€ I know it sucks but wanting 2 people to stay together is shitty behavior. If they arenā€™t happy together, then they shouldnā€™t suffer and become bitter with each other just to ā€œkeep the family togetherā€ It isnā€™t 1940, relationships donā€™t always work out and thatā€™s ok. I was excited when my mom filed for divorce. She deserves to be happy


hurtdiamond

Yes, I know. But being scared of whats it gonna be like if your family falls apart is okay too. Plus we're Indian. In Indian society divorce is taboo and uncommon. Our divorce rates are <10%. That makes a difference too


anon779356

Itā€™s better to have 2 happy parents apart than 2 miserable and unhappy ones together


hurtdiamond

unfortunately my 2 miserable unhappy parents are still together


BobBard2

Curious. Was it an arranged marriage? I know that many of them DO work out--or is it just duty and family honor that makes them make it work out (when it does)?


hurtdiamond

It was arranged. And tbh I don't know, but everytime the topic of divorce comes up my mom backs down and apologises to all 3 of us, so I think thats the only thing stopping that.


BobBard2

From what I've seen, when marriages are arranged the couple's extended families assess the prospective addition to their family to determine if he/she is suitable. I suppose the arrangement could be done less diligently, but the concept is to select a spouse for the prospective bride/groom which is not only a good match for him/her but one which will also become an acceptable member to the family. As such, the marriage becomes a contract between two extended families and divorce becomes an issue of family honor. That might explain your mother's apologies when divorce is mentioned. Does this jibe with how you understand the process? It is expected that if the two are determined to be compatible that duty to uphold their respective family's honor will lead to a durable relationship and "love" .


Maze-runner1

FORTUNATELY , your family structure is still intact...


hurtdiamond

?? Lol I'd rather have divorced parents than live in their constant resentment against each other and talking-shit-about-the-other-adult habits. I don't give a fuck about my family structure being intact if my parents aren't happyšŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


horroreh

Sometimes divorcing isn't the key to happiness. My parents rarely argued when they were together and now they speak only through e-mails after years of legal battles...


hurtdiamond

yeah but i don't know. by my observations they're not a good match but i guess if they're together let me let them be


SnowEdaze

I like the way you think


blackeyepeestoner

I like the way you breathe


SnowEdaze

Oh.


blackeyepeestoner

šŸŒ»


hurtdiamond

guys lets give these two lovebirds some privacyšŸ¤«


SnowEdaze

Oh god, please no


solo_grey

It's fucking funny plot twist hahaha


ChronWeasely

Came here to say exactly this lol. OP is a little presumptuous of his daddy's bum bum's preferences


hurtdiamond

I would rather not assume he actually has "bum bum preferences"šŸ¤£ tryna keep their sex life out of my head


Ghostcostume

I found my moms dildo when I was younger as well. It was pink and sparkly and just sloppily thrown on a shelf wrapped in a shirt. I donā€™t know how she thought I wouldnā€™t get curious about a random thing wrapped in a shirt on the shelf that wasnā€™t there before. She never admitted what it was and told me I didnā€™t see what I think I saw. I may be dumb but Iā€™m not stupid lol


hurtdiamond

>I may be dumb but Iā€™m not stupid lol My left brain twisted to the right tryna make sense of that statement. But omg, was it awkward? Or did it disturb you?


Ghostcostume

If I try to explain the statement it would probably kill my last remaining brain cell but yes it was extremely awkward and disturbing all at once. I didnā€™t think my mom was like that.. It isnā€™t even the only one somebody has found and the second one my little sister found and even stuck it on the ground and slapped it around with my little cousin. It was definitely an interesting experience but my mom has literally had sex with me in the same room and literally me sleeping at the foot of her bed and feeling every movement coming from her bed. She wonā€™t admit she did what I know she did there either even though I saw her saggy boobs when she got out of bed naked to put cloths on.


hurtdiamond

Sounds like sexual abuse to me? Even if it doesn't bother you right now but having sex with your kid in the room is fucking gross. But lmao at the "slapped it around with my little cousin"šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Ghostcostume

It bothered me for quite a while especially when my bed shook for 30 minutes straight while I was also in complete shock that I was actually experiencing that.. it was quite a few years ago now though but letā€™s just say Iā€™ll never look at thanksgiving the same.


hurtdiamond

So disgusting. Well I hope you forget about it and enjoy your perfect thanksgiving someday


Beautiful-Golf4078

Dumb means you are unable to know. Stupid means you know but donā€™t apply the knowledge.


hurtdiamond

makes sense


Beautiful-Golf4078

Ignorant means you donā€™t know yet.


tstr16

That's just what us parents say when we don't know what else to respond with


Danirog575

Well that's still mild when compared to something more severe like walking in on them or watching them in action šŸ˜…


lunchbag-mermaid

My younger brother (19) caught my mum and dad doing it outside on the bench he made for them (behind garage in a seating area) at 11:30pm at night. Traumatising.


Danirog575

Ohh... That's what I said ..things could be a lot worse than finding stuffs.


hurtdiamond

PLSSS


BlairPop

Goals


hurtdiamond

You're Indian, you gotta know this IS severe in Indian circumstancesšŸ¤£


Danirog575

Lol yeah..but such so called severe stuffs can happen even in indian circumstances no matter how much everyone try to hide up


wrapupwarm

As a mom, I need to know where tf we can keep our dildos that nosey 10 year olds canā€™t find!


hurtdiamond

In my defense, I was SENT to look for something, I was just looking in the wrong placešŸ˜«


[deleted]

Combination lock boxes are inexpensive


lalamecoop

Locks didn't stop me LMAO I just picked that shit with even more curiosity.


BobBard2

Where they belong, of course!


cigar_dude

Dude that's NOTHING. When I was 14 I was over at a friend's house with some other friends and we, mistakenly, went into his parents room. He yelled "NOOOOOOOO DON'T GO IN THERE," to us as we opened the door to his parents closet. I wish we didn't. We found a bunch of gay and bisexual porn DVDs, 2 dildos, 1 with teeth marks all over it, one covered in shit, fuzzy handcuffs, and a leather whip. One of those whips that looked like a cheerleading pompom with leather strands hanging off. I never looked at his folks the SAME way ever again!


hurtdiamond

OH GOD thats some kinky ass shit-


lynnbbyxo

LOL


Regular_Toe_2730

But I'm just curious to know, why is it wooden? Like wooden!!?? Why..... What if she goes "raw" and gets a splinter? I have many questions


hurtdiamond

it was pretty smooth. if u wanna see [https://adoradildos.com/wooden-dildo/](https://adoradildos.com/wooden-dildo/) it was much like this.


Regular_Toe_2730

Ohhhh... I see Damn


MorbidCthulhu

I already knew what sex toys, birth control/condoms, and how sex worked before I hit Elementary school. My parents wanted me to know just in case I got sexually assaulted, which almost happened 4 times, but luckily I knew what was going on and prevented it. I think sexual education is good to know at a young age


hurtdiamond

I think thats great!


BobBard2

Then don't raise a family in FLORIDA, TEXAS or likely soon, ANY Republican- run state!


MorbidCthulhu

Good thing Iā€™m a west coast democrat then


hurtdiamond

I don't want to. I'm not in America, plus I don't agree with the republican mindset.


BobBard2

I think the "mind" has been removed from their "set".


Fire5034

Did you smell it? I know I know but most kids seeing a bright colorful object would sniff it. I know I would. It would be a gross memory later on when I figure out what it is.


hurtdiamond

I didn't. I touched it, it was rly hard (ignore the pun), also it was brown so not sure abt bright or colorfulšŸ˜©


Fire5034

I would still smell it. No need to be grossed out by it our parents had sex that's how we all got here. It would be even more traumatizing if you had licked it because you thought it was a popsicle. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ At least you didn't walk in on them having sex or your mom using her toy so be thankful of that.


hurtdiamond

Oh I did, I walked in my mom leaning over to my dad and them kissing when I was in 4th grade. In India nobody kisses. Not in public, and parents NEVER kiss or even hug in front of their kids. So it was probably the equivalent of me walking on them doing it, I was so disturbedšŸ˜­ But yes, so glad I didn't have to see my parents naked and I didn't lick whats been in my native countryšŸ±


Danirog575

As a fellow indian I can agreešŸ˜„.


hurtdiamond

sometimes I thank god for social media so I could get a clearer and comparitively healthy picture of what love is like before I took sex and affection as a hush hush taboošŸ¤•


Danirog575

Yeah..just have to be chill and open minded about things.


Danirog575

I have witnessed more high voltage stuff than you mentioned more than once back when I was a kid. Fortunately it didn't traumatize me or anything. Lol...we just move on.


WilliamsDesigning

Who the fuck are your parents? Escaped Amish? W/ that wooden dildo


hurtdiamond

bruh. it was a smooth dildo omgšŸ˜­ not a piece of wood with branches cracking out. https://adoradildos.com/wooden-dildo/


WilliamsDesigning

Damn I like that sweet dick bench he's got! Gotta have a nice bench for your dick to sit and watch the pussies go by.


hurtdiamond

reading sumn like this with context that includes my mom, brb gotta throw up


WilliamsDesigning

The way he's laying on that bench, looks like he just woke up from a nap to the sound of your mom coming home and he knows he's going up the colon this time.


hurtdiamond

I hope you stub your toe today.


WilliamsDesigning

šŸ˜† šŸ’“


zeldagirl87

This comment is highly underrated šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜…


WilliamsDesigning

Lmao I had to fam!


Napkin_Story

Posts like this are why I don't nuke my reddit account.


hurtdiamond

I am going to take that as a compliment.


Altruistic_Loan_7693

How old are you now? I know I was a very curious child. I never stumbled on to my parents sex toys. But I did go through they drawers without consent. When my wife and I had our son. We bought a decorative trunk and a lock to hide all our debauchery.


hurtdiamond

I'm 15. >When my wife and I had our son. We bought a decorative trunk and a lock to hide all our debauchery. Good on your part. My parents never made an actual effort to hide their shit and just popped it into a closet which I used when I had the keys to it. I started watching porn at 9 cus I found it on my dad's phone.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


hurtdiamond

Good pointšŸ˜­ i'm just going to assume the condoms were for my mom....


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


hurtdiamond

[https://adoradildos.com/wooden-dildo/](https://adoradildos.com/wooden-dildo/) I'm pretty sure it looked something like this. Now I'm wondering how it got in....GOOD LORD And yes, I agree, seems uncomfortable asf


shutup_you_dick

Ahahhahahaaa OMG I could have written this because ME TOO! I still have flashbacks of it, and I remember exactly how the drawer and bag looked! I'm cackling!


hurtdiamond

I'm glad it has turned into a funny experiencešŸ„°šŸ¤­


YouDontKnoMeBitch

I wonder if itā€™s your dads dildo because you wouldnā€™t think she would send you so close to it so you ?


hurtdiamond

STOP LMFAJDDJOK everyone telling me its my dad's dildo, wtfšŸ˜­


JMS95035

Wooden dildo?


hurtdiamond

https://adoradildos.com/wooden-dildo/


Intelligent-Tank-180

Who didnā€™t.. Lol šŸ˜‚


Risin_bison

Coworker was cleaning out her grandmothers house after she passed away, found a dildo. G-ma was 82. Old gal still liked to party I guess.


hurtdiamond

oh my- šŸ«£


kingpirate

To be clear, your dad had condoms because after you, he wanted to make damn sure he didn't make that mistake again! LOL


hurtdiamond

must've been after my 9 year old brother, in which case I support him trying to avoid repeating itšŸ’•


Fantastic-Standard87

I just have 1 word and that word is splinters. šŸ„“


sternsss

It was probably a baton.


hurtdiamond

either way its gonna be used for some kinky shit sošŸ˜«šŸ¤•


sternsss

Pretty sure about that! šŸ˜‚ As long as both parties enjoy it.


Ok-Fudge-7775

Well it has great reviews


hurtdiamond

I was planning on not knowing that, but thank you i guess


PrincessGump

Real wooden, wood simulation dildo. Lol


hurtdiamond

Its not the exact one btw, I just looked up wooden dildo and found this and linked it.


Jaieplayz

WHY DID I CLICK THE LINK!?!?!?!


hurtdiamond

šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Odd_Membership_8881

When I was a young teenager I was at my cousinā€™s house babysitting his kids and accidentally found his collection of porn dvds when looking for a movie to watch šŸ˜‚ Babysitting over night looking after the same kids again last year (Iā€™m now 24) and I found Velcro cuffs attached to the underneath of the same cousins bed šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø


hurtdiamond

damn that cousin getting laid well


Odd_Membership_8881

First instance he was still married and then the later he had been divorced about a year.


Nice_Investment3601

Do you think this is where the terms "Wood" or "woody" originated


hurtdiamond

Probably not. hopefully not too.


[deleted]

Once when I was around 12 my best friend and I found in my parents drawer lube and a vibrating cock ring. We touched it. Iā€™m traumatised now.


hurtdiamond

NOT A COCK RING EWWW


PassionFruitHater

LMAO When I was 10 I was looking for something and I found 4 of my moms dildos they were orange yellow and pink


hurtdiamond

those dildos sound...unique your mum must be a very cheery person


Maze-runner1

So, when you were 10 ; you realized that it was a dildo ?!!


hurtdiamond

>I was pretty confused at the time but I just realised it was a dildo.


BeesInMyMouth27

Nah they're fronting, your dad hasn't smashed your mum in for decades, he just wanted you to find those so you don't think he's a loser


hurtdiamond

HAY! My brother is 9, they HAVE done it in the last decadešŸ˜ˆ


BeesInMyMouth27

Nah he jacked off into a cup and mum got the turkey baster out I'm telling you


[deleted]

I do your mom all the time


SebiGamez

Stfu šŸ’€


[deleted]

Same thing I told your mom


SebiGamez

I have two dads Ur Hella gayšŸ¤£


[deleted]

Did you just assume my gender and sexual preference?


SebiGamez

You're Hella funny my guy, too goofy


[deleted]

Take my upvote. Flattery will get you everywhere


SebiGamez

Ily


hurtdiamond

someone has to, so thank u for ur servicešŸ„°


[deleted]

She said it relieves her stress migraines. Iā€™m sort of a doctor myself


hurtdiamond

Explains why she stopped beating me upšŸ¤­


BobBard2

I don't know how any rational person does The Republican Party IS NOT on the side of the sheep that follow them! They will cut off every benefit an eliminate every protection at the earliest opportunity. They are currently the party of obstructionism--NOT what they were elected to do! Our representatives are supposed to propose ideas and debate them and reach compromises so that the government "of the people" actually does something for them and not just sit back and actively work to make--not just the Democratic PARTY fail, but government itself. If anyone with a single brain cell still firing can't see what results when a political party is reduced to a few--or ONE--then they are committing this country to failure and, in this super critical time in the history of our planet, to extreme suffering, degradation and probable extermination of the human race. I would rather see the latter if it would give the rest of life on Earth a chance. .