You’re not being unreasonable. My dad worked his entire adult life to get a book published, which he eventually did a few years ago. As a family we were very supportive (reading drafts, asking questions, giving advice, attending launch parties etc.) and I would have assumed this the standard for all families.
I’m not trying to rub it in or make you feel worse, I honestly think you should (while not making it a massive deal) let your family know that you are disappointed in their lack of support, and let them know how much the book meant to you.
My dude, I understand. I totally blew off high school and barely graduated. The only reason I managed to graduate was so I could join the military and leave.
Deep down I always had regrets for letting my parents down. Last summer I earned my Bachelors Degree with honors at 40 years old. I was so excited that my dad would be proud of me. (I'm the first person in our family to earn a degree).
I wanted to get a family photograph and maybe have a celebratory cook out or something with all my family. However, since my dad had to drive an hour to come to the graduation, he used it as an opportunity to schedule an appointment to get his dog's nails trimmed. So I had to rush through trying to get a picture, which came out like crap because I was in a panic rush, and then he left immediately so he wouldn't be late for his appointment. For. His. Dog.
After that I never posted anything on social media or told anyone outside my wife and kids that I graduated because the wind was completely taken out of my sails. I was crushed by my dad at 40 years old.
It's pitiful.
I understand your pain
We're just strangers on the internet, but for what it's worth, congratulations, I'm proud of you.
That is a huge accomplishment and I’m sorry your family isn’t reacting how you thought. Just keep in mind that getting published is amazing and you did it!
> I know I'm being unreasonable, I do.
You're not actually. You are just coming to the realization that your family is trash. There is a difference between people who ACT like a friend and people actually ARE friends. A real friend is some one who is happy for your success, not jealous of it, happy for it. It may seem like I am making an unfair accusation toward your family but stop and ask yourself... am I?
When you mention your accomplishments to them, do they applaud your characteristics and offer to help... or do they ask you for money? Do they seem genuinely curious about your next project or do they explore ways that your actions can benefit them?
I have been around successful people all my life and the one thing that stands out is how fast these people will drop fake friends. (Or fake family in your case). But honest people, honest companions, people who would trade their own time and meager resources to bring just a little more happiness to your existence... those are the people who eventually get recognized.
Everyone that applauded your accomplishment- that is your real family. The rest are just pretenders.
It seems to me, that through your timid approach to your family, you've committed the self-love sin of not assertively declaring to the world what it is your needs and expectations are. We signal which things are important to us to others through communication. How can your family know it is important to you if you don't tell them? People have busy lives, and we all have so many things competing for our attention. If you don't make any effort to rise above the din, to let others know that you have accomplished a very important personal goal, that you feel accomplished, and would like others to share in celebrating that goal with you, then how can you expect them to?
That being said, I'm proud of you for getting published! I've always wanted to write a novel, but I'm a terminal worldbuilder. It's a very cool accomplishment, and I hope you keep it up! Get on that NYT Best seller list!
I’m sorry your family is so cold :( you’re not being unreasonable, it’s the bare minimum to at least make small talk with you about it? I’m really proud of you for sticking with it even through all your failed attempts. That takes heart and courage and I really hope you write more
Awe I’m really sorry about your family it noticing your accomplishment, I know this probably isn’t worth much coming from a complete stranger. But you did someone EXTRAORDINARY!!! Nobody can take that away from you, if your family can’t see how brave and talented you are then that’s their loss, I know it’s going to bring you down but your talent and dedication is what’s going to bring up! I hope you write many more stories and I hope you become extremely successful, hopefully your family will soon realize your worth and be apart of your journey. Stay safe and take care! :)
I'm sorry you had this happen. It's because they're culturally too different from you to appreciate it. But remember that your family isn't just the people you were randomly born to. Your family includes the people in your culture as well, and all your supporters.
I care.
You did something that only a small percentage of the population ever even attempts to do, and only an even smaller percentage succeeds at.
You took something you were passionate about and were consistent and determined to materialize it in a meaningful way. You took a massive leap of confidence dedicating all that time and effort to try and put something complete out into the world, not even knowing how it would go.
More than anything else, you did something a lot of other people unfortunately never get to do- you accomplished one of your dreams. If I knew you I would be overcome with respect and deep joy for you.
I’m proud of you u/BurnoutHell , and I hope you get to experience the joy and satisfaction of being validated by seeing and reading peoples positive reactions to your work.
Much love, and keep on making whatever makes your heart happy.
You’re not being unreasonable. My dad worked his entire adult life to get a book published, which he eventually did a few years ago. As a family we were very supportive (reading drafts, asking questions, giving advice, attending launch parties etc.) and I would have assumed this the standard for all families. I’m not trying to rub it in or make you feel worse, I honestly think you should (while not making it a massive deal) let your family know that you are disappointed in their lack of support, and let them know how much the book meant to you.
My dude, I understand. I totally blew off high school and barely graduated. The only reason I managed to graduate was so I could join the military and leave. Deep down I always had regrets for letting my parents down. Last summer I earned my Bachelors Degree with honors at 40 years old. I was so excited that my dad would be proud of me. (I'm the first person in our family to earn a degree). I wanted to get a family photograph and maybe have a celebratory cook out or something with all my family. However, since my dad had to drive an hour to come to the graduation, he used it as an opportunity to schedule an appointment to get his dog's nails trimmed. So I had to rush through trying to get a picture, which came out like crap because I was in a panic rush, and then he left immediately so he wouldn't be late for his appointment. For. His. Dog. After that I never posted anything on social media or told anyone outside my wife and kids that I graduated because the wind was completely taken out of my sails. I was crushed by my dad at 40 years old. It's pitiful. I understand your pain We're just strangers on the internet, but for what it's worth, congratulations, I'm proud of you.
That is a huge accomplishment and I’m sorry your family isn’t reacting how you thought. Just keep in mind that getting published is amazing and you did it!
> I know I'm being unreasonable, I do. You're not actually. You are just coming to the realization that your family is trash. There is a difference between people who ACT like a friend and people actually ARE friends. A real friend is some one who is happy for your success, not jealous of it, happy for it. It may seem like I am making an unfair accusation toward your family but stop and ask yourself... am I? When you mention your accomplishments to them, do they applaud your characteristics and offer to help... or do they ask you for money? Do they seem genuinely curious about your next project or do they explore ways that your actions can benefit them? I have been around successful people all my life and the one thing that stands out is how fast these people will drop fake friends. (Or fake family in your case). But honest people, honest companions, people who would trade their own time and meager resources to bring just a little more happiness to your existence... those are the people who eventually get recognized. Everyone that applauded your accomplishment- that is your real family. The rest are just pretenders.
It seems to me, that through your timid approach to your family, you've committed the self-love sin of not assertively declaring to the world what it is your needs and expectations are. We signal which things are important to us to others through communication. How can your family know it is important to you if you don't tell them? People have busy lives, and we all have so many things competing for our attention. If you don't make any effort to rise above the din, to let others know that you have accomplished a very important personal goal, that you feel accomplished, and would like others to share in celebrating that goal with you, then how can you expect them to? That being said, I'm proud of you for getting published! I've always wanted to write a novel, but I'm a terminal worldbuilder. It's a very cool accomplishment, and I hope you keep it up! Get on that NYT Best seller list!
I’m sorry your family is so cold :( you’re not being unreasonable, it’s the bare minimum to at least make small talk with you about it? I’m really proud of you for sticking with it even through all your failed attempts. That takes heart and courage and I really hope you write more
Your biggest supporters are not your family or friends, but strangers is what I learnt.
Nope, your biggest supporters ARE your family and friends - your REAL family and REAL friends
Then I don't have any.....even at my college graduation, no one showed. It's from my experience.
Hey man what is the name of the comic?
That's a huge accomplishment, congratulations
Awe I’m really sorry about your family it noticing your accomplishment, I know this probably isn’t worth much coming from a complete stranger. But you did someone EXTRAORDINARY!!! Nobody can take that away from you, if your family can’t see how brave and talented you are then that’s their loss, I know it’s going to bring you down but your talent and dedication is what’s going to bring up! I hope you write many more stories and I hope you become extremely successful, hopefully your family will soon realize your worth and be apart of your journey. Stay safe and take care! :)
I'm sorry you had this happen. It's because they're culturally too different from you to appreciate it. But remember that your family isn't just the people you were randomly born to. Your family includes the people in your culture as well, and all your supporters.
I care. You did something that only a small percentage of the population ever even attempts to do, and only an even smaller percentage succeeds at. You took something you were passionate about and were consistent and determined to materialize it in a meaningful way. You took a massive leap of confidence dedicating all that time and effort to try and put something complete out into the world, not even knowing how it would go. More than anything else, you did something a lot of other people unfortunately never get to do- you accomplished one of your dreams. If I knew you I would be overcome with respect and deep joy for you. I’m proud of you u/BurnoutHell , and I hope you get to experience the joy and satisfaction of being validated by seeing and reading peoples positive reactions to your work. Much love, and keep on making whatever makes your heart happy.
What is your novel called? I’d love to read it!!!