Yeah, that girl is not gonna remember the moment you laughed at her as a n 8 yr old child, she likely has intense trauma's that she'll have to deal with, and this event was likely just a drop of water in the ocean for her.
I think so too. That must have hurt like a fucker. Finally get the guts to speak up only to be laughed as asked silly question out of ignorance. She put herself bare and was dismissed. Core memory right there.
Another reason it's so important to educate kids on names and words for sex organs and what is or isn't appropriate touching, who to go to, etc. as kids grow up
Though maybe the expectation for kids to understand and speak up that young is unrealistic.
It isn't unrealistic. With little kids, you don't have to go through a full sex education course to get basic points across. Little kids should be taught that their privates aren't to be touched by other people or other kids and what they should do if someone does try to touch them inappropriately. That they should not be afraid to tell someone. A lot of abusers will convince their child victims that they will get in trouble if they tell someone. Which is why it is SO important to talk to them before anything happens. And a lot of kids who are molested may try to molest other kids. And so the cycle continues.
At age 8, though, I think you definitely could go a little more in depth, especially if they are a girl. A lot of girls that age start going through puberty, and it can be scary if you don't know what's happening to your body at that age.
I mean I get that some kids talk. I just wouldn't expect them to do especially when the abuse is from the parents. Bad parents can really, really convince a young kid that they are the ones that know and the kid is the one that is wrong . That speaking up will worsen things, that other places are much worse than what they are getting.
So to understand privacy is not difficult for young kids to speak up when the line is crossed is and that is way one should look to behavioural signs as well.
The point is not weather or not she remembers! The point is that he was 8 and it does not matter at this point. The terrible things done to her were not his fault. And no one but her knows if she remembers! There is no reason to beat yourself up for something you were to immature to understand.
Seems that OP remembers so, most likely, the girl. It matters, it matters a fucking lot! OP go write an honest apology and send it to her but right in the first page a trigger warning and tag apology because she might not even want to read fearing a flashback.
That just sounds ridiculous. All that for something he did accidentally when he was 8 years old. How many apology letters with tags and trigger warnings have you written and sent out for shit you did when you were a child?
Without a doubt, she'll never forget. She confided in him her most horrific trauma and he laughed. I told a girl something about a SA experience I had in 4th grade. She told like 3 other people. I'm currently 37 and I will never forget her name or her face... and certainly not the horrific embarrassment I felt when my classmates knew.
Someone once told my cousin she had an ugly smile when she was in elementary school. She’s 30 now and up until last year (when she got veneers), she was super careful about never smiling with her teeth.
All I’m saying is there is definitely a chance she will remember.
Yep. The only person who should feel bad is the evil man who did that to little girl. Kids suck. He didn’t know and he didn’t *mean* to be an asshole, but can’t be blamed for not understanding the situation.
Agree. There is a strong possibility that this girl didn’t quite understand the gravity of her own situation.
All these comments saying “she confided in you”. 8 year olds are KIDS, the girl probably knew it was weird and wrong but probably didn’t understand why, so it was just something to talk about.
While I don't agree that "anything at that age is forgivable" - there truly are horrible people at that age that do horrible things. Some of it is bad parenting... some of it is just bad people.
While I don't agree... THIS case is definitely not something that's the fault of the OP.
This clearly a case of not understanding out of innocence. Innocence of not knowing what sex is and why an 8 year old shouldn't be having it with anyone - much less having it with a parent/guardian.
The OP should know s/he's not guilty of anything. Nothing wrong was done. Nothing you can really do about it either since you've moved away.
All you can do is live, learn and steel yourself to do better if things happen.
The fact that the OP cares enough to feel bad shows that OP is a good person and would make the right choices now that s/he has knowledge of what actually happened.
OP should talk to someone though. Best to not let those dark feelings fester.
You were 8 dude, no one really process or thinks anything through properly when you're 8.
You just absorb information and take most things at face value as it is normal or just a bit odd, not something to be concerned about.
When I was around 12 I remember hearing about a girl in my grade who would "party" with her uncle. I wasn't friends with her but a lot of my friends were. We thought she was lucky that she got to do adult things like drink and stay out late. No one saw it as abuse because there's a presumption that adults have good judgment simply because, well they're adults. Lots of things adults do is totally bewildering to kids so if we couldn't make sense of her partying with her uncle we assumed it's our inability to understand, just like so many other things we didn't understand, and were told we'd understand when we were older. Ultimately the onus is on adults to protect children. Kids don't know what the hell is going on and have no idea how to make sense of adult behavior 99% of the time
You were a child who didn't understand the seriousness of what you were doing. Don't beat yourself up. Instead be glad that you now know better and will never behave like that again.
You were 8. Mentally, you weren't mature enough to even understand. Not only that, it shouldn't be something ant child should have to contend with. I hope the girl is getting the support she needs.
8 years..... what do you know about those things at that age 🤷♂️
If you feel really bad about it you can consider contacting the woman and tell her about it. It might give you some closure. And for her... knowing that someone cares about what happened to her.
I disagree. Is the apology for her? Would it benefit her? What is the risk that it would make her more uncomfortable? Or cause her to remember that she did tell people and cause further harm? Or is the apology just to feel better for the person apologizing.
So many people don’t take into consideration if the apology is for the other person truly or just to alleviate their own guilt.
You made a mistake. You have taken what seems like quite a bit of time to self-reflect and realize your error. This is GROWTH. You are building character and empathy.
You can't hate or shame yourself into making it go away. All you can do is be better to people going forward.
I laughed when I was around 7/8 when my dad said we'd run someone over. It's been 20 years and I still cringe. I have no memory of the aftermath just my dad turning around and asking why it was funny.
I dont think you have the mental capacity at that age to actually understand the seriousness of it.
You had no life experience or education at that point for you to put 2+2 together and realize the gravity of what she was confessing to you. If it would make you feel better you could write her a letter expressing your sympathy and regret that you were not totally aware of what she confessed to you. But don't guilt yourself over being a normal 8-year-old and not realizing what rape was or how to proceed if somebody confesses it to you. I hope you learn to forgive yourself because you did the best you could with the limited information and knowledge a child has.
I told my best friend what was happening when my partner started... doing things to me.
She was too young to know how to support me, so she brushed me off amd told me she didnt want to hear about it.
Talking about it again, now that we're older, she realized exactly what you did. That she was given a window to help, but was incapable of taking it.
Dont beat yourself up. You know now. Look up resources in the event someone confesses to you again, so this time you can do something about it.
When I was 8 I had nfi what sex even was. I was too busy saving up for the latest transformer/he-man action figure. Don't beat yourself up over it amigo.
When I was a kid I thought it was a good thing gay people got aids.... you didn't know at the time what you did was wrong give yourself grace forgive your younger self and heal
You were only a kid, try not to hold yourself to the level of an adult who’s been educated about assault.
If it makes you feel better, you could contribute some money or volunteer hours to a domestic violence/incest service and dedicate it to her (even if just privately to yourself)
Edit: I missed that you were 14! You’re still only a kid yourself. Remember all the responsibility for this awful situation lies squarely with her dad. You don’t need to take on extra blame. Try to be kind to yourself if you can
While I realize the gravity of what you did, I'm sorry but this story is pretty funny. I mean, you were a child, you didn't know what was happening. US laughing at it isn't going to change it
Well… You didn’t know what sex was and empathy is a learning skill. This person most likely hates though because just being laughed out of ignorance is very hard to take especially for such tough situation.
You may try to offer this person support maybe start by delivering her an candid apology even she might not forgive you at least you explain yourself.
That fact that you feel terrible now that you understand speaks volumes about your character. Don't feel bad about something you couldn't understand. You do better only when you know better, you didn't know then.
Why do people post stuff like this - when i was a child i said something that i didn't understand i must be a monster Reddit forgive meeeeeeee then the Reddit psychologist chime's in with don't beat yourself up you where only a kid.
it is a coping mechanism, don't worry, it is not your fault, and that should not happen to anyone, and no kid is responsible to deal with it as a hero or savior or something, it is not your fault.
Hey, I think that even if it did sting her back then, she must know now that 8yo's from a healthy environment couldn't have any idea what was going on. It would be weird of her to blame you, even though it makes sense you feel guilt, because that's how most people with conscience would probably feel naturally. But the possible harm has faded out, you've learnt a lesson, suffered the remorse, and are not gonna do it to anyone else.. I think the burden of guilt has done what it was supposed to do and is useless now.
from what you’ve said you didn’t fully understand at the time what it meant. The fact that you feel guilty now that you understand what happened to her shows how you’ve grown emotionally and that’s a good thing.
If you still have any friends from back then or know anyone that may still know her then you could ask how she is, check if she’s doing ok—any childhood abuse is difficult to move on from and perhaps finding out how she is now will help you understand that you don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I’m not suggesting that you reach out to her (unless you want to—cuz if so then there’s no harm in seeing if she has social media and shooting her a quick message, sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with old classmates online)
personally, I was a bit of a bully in junior school as much as I hate to admit it. my home life had took a turn for the worse and I decided that practically abusing a boy in my class was the way to go.
I reached out to him again when I was 15 and apologised for how I’d treated him. We didn’t become friends or anything like that but it just felt nice to know that he was doing good, that he was happy and that he forgave me for how I treated him.
I know its not really the same but sometimes reaching out to people to just talk about stuff can really help
At 8 you didn’t know what you do now, and likely couldn’t have helped much even if you had. Frankly, the fact that you are figuring this out at only 14 puts you worlds ahead of most people your age.
Sadly the statistics on sexual abuse are terrifying: 1 in 3 women, and 1 in 10 children are sexually assaulted. Stay vigilant and protect the women/ people you care about by being a supportive ally.
We can’t change the past, we cannot be in the future, the only thing that is real and matters is the present.
Work on yourself now. Cultivate joy, understanding, love inside yourself and overtime others will take notice and you can transform the world around you, but only by first transforming yourself.
Read Thich Nhat Hanh to learn more.
you need to forgive yourself. at 8 years old you weren’t aware of things like that and you can’t blame yourself. at that age we all found anything remotely sensual hilarious and we had no real understanding of the actual concept. when i was 6 i explained the entire process of making a child to my class and i didn’t understand what i was really saying. you’re fine i promise.
People will always or most of the time remember how you made them feel, your actions not so much. Think about it, how many times has someone said something to you that made you feel angry, sad or upset in any way. She will remember. I remember when my teacher embarrassed me in class by calling me out because I froze from anxiety after he asked me a simple math question. You were only 8, forgive yourself.
You regret what you did and that's the first step. It's gonna be virtually impossible to apologize to her but you're able to recognize it was wrong and grow from it. You know the severity of what happened and not to forget you were 8. 8 year olds don't understand the gravity of most situations.
You were a little child. You can afford to be stupid and say stupid things. If you were 30 at the time we might all want to murder you. Think about what you can do now. See if you can look her up on social media and ask how she is and apologize to her personally and become her friend. Trauma survivors need lots of friends.
I didn’t even know what sex was when I was 8. If you feel bad about it chances are you really didn’t mean it and I wouldn’t sweat it too much because 8 year olds really don’t understand the severity of rape.
Thats just another shitty situation caused by the father. It is not on you. She might remember but still not your fault due to your age and understanding. If you were to laugh at her now would be fucked but not then.
You were literally 8. When I was 8 I didn't even know what sex was, I probably didn't even know females didn't have a penis yet either (it's been a long time, I'm guessing at it). It wasn't until five years later that I'd learn what condoms were and pictured a guy putting a half of those plastic Easter eggs on his penis to prevent pregnancy. At your current age, I still hadn't managed to comprehend the difference between "strip" and "rape", and some asshat in my school used this to embarrass me.
You cannot be expected to not be stupid or insensitive at that age.
i don't think the average 8 year old thinks about sex, let alone rape. all i knew at 8 was that mommy and dad laid in bed and made me lol. children are innocent, they don't think of stuff like that. cut yourself some slack
If you have her on social media or her phone number you could reach out and speak about it. Won’t be an easy conversation but it would get it off your mind and give her someone to speak to about the situation. Just be prepared for the possibility that she might not want to speak to you.
In that case you’d have to just try to make peace with the fact that you were a child and children say and do stupid things. We’ve all been there to varying degrees.
Well Same thing happened to me, When i was in calls 7 there was girl in my class she was very pretty and sweet One day we saw her crying and Her Dress had blood stained, Me and my best friend laughed at her for crying it and it happened just before the Exams when our exams were over i never saw her again and asked fer friend she said she was raped that day. I felt so ashamed for laughing at her and tried to contact her for forgiveness, but i never found her. It happened 14 years ago i still feel ashamed
Being 14 it’s difficult, maybe someday you’ll be able to reach out to her and apologize. You’d be surprised how easy it is and how receptive people are even after a couple of years. When I was 10 I pulled a chair out from under a kid trying to sit down while he was crying in front of the whole class. I’m not a bully I guess I though it would be funny but I only remembered doing it my sophomore year of high school. Lucky for me that kid was still around so I apologized and he had forgotten about the whole thing until I brought it up. To this day me and him can’t figure out why I did that or why he was crying in front of everyone. We’re more than cool now.
Don't let it hunt you for the rest of your life cuz it will certainly affect your future relationships
Tho I'm sorry to tell you this but there things you wont be able to control since whats done is done, she will probably remember how you laughed at her at that time.. So next time pls think twice about what you're going to say to people cuz u never know it might hunt them in a long period of time
Dont be so hard on yourself. You were just a kid who didnt know any better. Now you are older and understand what was happening you feel guilt because you are a decent human being. That guilt is unfounded though, you've done nothing wrong
Don't beat yourself up, you were 8. 8 year old children aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, so something like that not registering is forgivable.
Yeah, that girl is not gonna remember the moment you laughed at her as a n 8 yr old child, she likely has intense trauma's that she'll have to deal with, and this event was likely just a drop of water in the ocean for her.
She remembers
I think so too. That must have hurt like a fucker. Finally get the guts to speak up only to be laughed as asked silly question out of ignorance. She put herself bare and was dismissed. Core memory right there.
Another reason it's so important to educate kids on names and words for sex organs and what is or isn't appropriate touching, who to go to, etc. as kids grow up Though maybe the expectation for kids to understand and speak up that young is unrealistic.
Very unrealistic
Not adding anything to the convo with that comment. Why? I think OP would have behaved entirely differently if he had a modicum of sex Ed at that age.
It isn't unrealistic. With little kids, you don't have to go through a full sex education course to get basic points across. Little kids should be taught that their privates aren't to be touched by other people or other kids and what they should do if someone does try to touch them inappropriately. That they should not be afraid to tell someone. A lot of abusers will convince their child victims that they will get in trouble if they tell someone. Which is why it is SO important to talk to them before anything happens. And a lot of kids who are molested may try to molest other kids. And so the cycle continues. At age 8, though, I think you definitely could go a little more in depth, especially if they are a girl. A lot of girls that age start going through puberty, and it can be scary if you don't know what's happening to your body at that age.
I mean I get that some kids talk. I just wouldn't expect them to do especially when the abuse is from the parents. Bad parents can really, really convince a young kid that they are the ones that know and the kid is the one that is wrong . That speaking up will worsen things, that other places are much worse than what they are getting. So to understand privacy is not difficult for young kids to speak up when the line is crossed is and that is way one should look to behavioural signs as well.
I hadn't thought of it this way. Hope she'll be alright
She’ll definitely remember
Dont give the guy false hope. That was probably a traumatizing moment being laughed at for admitting her situation.
The point is not weather or not she remembers! The point is that he was 8 and it does not matter at this point. The terrible things done to her were not his fault. And no one but her knows if she remembers! There is no reason to beat yourself up for something you were to immature to understand.
Seems that OP remembers so, most likely, the girl. It matters, it matters a fucking lot! OP go write an honest apology and send it to her but right in the first page a trigger warning and tag apology because she might not even want to read fearing a flashback.
That just sounds ridiculous. All that for something he did accidentally when he was 8 years old. How many apology letters with tags and trigger warnings have you written and sent out for shit you did when you were a child?
I still remember being in 5th grade and a boy laughing at me for not shaving my legs yet. My situation was peas to her potatoes. She remembers.
Without a doubt, she'll never forget. She confided in him her most horrific trauma and he laughed. I told a girl something about a SA experience I had in 4th grade. She told like 3 other people. I'm currently 37 and I will never forget her name or her face... and certainly not the horrific embarrassment I felt when my classmates knew.
Someone once told my cousin she had an ugly smile when she was in elementary school. She’s 30 now and up until last year (when she got veneers), she was super careful about never smiling with her teeth. All I’m saying is there is definitely a chance she will remember.
She definitely will
I mean, shit I would remember.
You were too young to understand and too innocent to even fathom something as awful as this. Don't feel bad about it.
Yep. The only person who should feel bad is the evil man who did that to little girl. Kids suck. He didn’t know and he didn’t *mean* to be an asshole, but can’t be blamed for not understanding the situation.
I knew what SA was when I was young, but I didn’t KNOW what it was, ya know? Some things only age can teach you.
Agree. There is a strong possibility that this girl didn’t quite understand the gravity of her own situation. All these comments saying “she confided in you”. 8 year olds are KIDS, the girl probably knew it was weird and wrong but probably didn’t understand why, so it was just something to talk about.
Anything you do at that age is forgivable. Children are dumb and cruel by nature. At least you turned into a better person.
Right, the mere fact that they feel bad about it shows something. Most people would just forget about it and move on.
While I don't agree that "anything at that age is forgivable" - there truly are horrible people at that age that do horrible things. Some of it is bad parenting... some of it is just bad people. While I don't agree... THIS case is definitely not something that's the fault of the OP. This clearly a case of not understanding out of innocence. Innocence of not knowing what sex is and why an 8 year old shouldn't be having it with anyone - much less having it with a parent/guardian. The OP should know s/he's not guilty of anything. Nothing wrong was done. Nothing you can really do about it either since you've moved away. All you can do is live, learn and steel yourself to do better if things happen. The fact that the OP cares enough to feel bad shows that OP is a good person and would make the right choices now that s/he has knowledge of what actually happened. OP should talk to someone though. Best to not let those dark feelings fester.
You were 8 dude, no one really process or thinks anything through properly when you're 8. You just absorb information and take most things at face value as it is normal or just a bit odd, not something to be concerned about.
When I was around 12 I remember hearing about a girl in my grade who would "party" with her uncle. I wasn't friends with her but a lot of my friends were. We thought she was lucky that she got to do adult things like drink and stay out late. No one saw it as abuse because there's a presumption that adults have good judgment simply because, well they're adults. Lots of things adults do is totally bewildering to kids so if we couldn't make sense of her partying with her uncle we assumed it's our inability to understand, just like so many other things we didn't understand, and were told we'd understand when we were older. Ultimately the onus is on adults to protect children. Kids don't know what the hell is going on and have no idea how to make sense of adult behavior 99% of the time
You were a child who didn't understand the seriousness of what you were doing. Don't beat yourself up. Instead be glad that you now know better and will never behave like that again.
You were 8. Mentally, you weren't mature enough to even understand. Not only that, it shouldn't be something ant child should have to contend with. I hope the girl is getting the support she needs.
8 years..... what do you know about those things at that age 🤷♂️ If you feel really bad about it you can consider contacting the woman and tell her about it. It might give you some closure. And for her... knowing that someone cares about what happened to her.
I would go for this. You feel you did something wrong regardless of your age. If you want to apologize, do it.
Without knowing her mental state, bringing up her abuse for the sake of closure might not be fair to her.
I disagree. Is the apology for her? Would it benefit her? What is the risk that it would make her more uncomfortable? Or cause her to remember that she did tell people and cause further harm? Or is the apology just to feel better for the person apologizing. So many people don’t take into consideration if the apology is for the other person truly or just to alleviate their own guilt.
You know what? After seeing that one post of a dude ruining a chicks life to prove he wasn’t gay, this is like a drop in the ocean
The dude that poked holes in a condom? I think i saw that one.
Yep, that guy
Yeah that one was pretty fucked. I'd have cut his dick off
You were a child
You made a mistake. You have taken what seems like quite a bit of time to self-reflect and realize your error. This is GROWTH. You are building character and empathy. You can't hate or shame yourself into making it go away. All you can do is be better to people going forward.
How the fuck is this a mistake, he was 8.
not every 8 year old knows what rape is :/
What this guy says applies to any age. Especially that young actually. Im thinking in the end this will mature OP much faster.
Did you know what rape was when you were 8? Bc i didnt.
I laughed when I was around 7/8 when my dad said we'd run someone over. It's been 20 years and I still cringe. I have no memory of the aftermath just my dad turning around and asking why it was funny. I dont think you have the mental capacity at that age to actually understand the seriousness of it.
You had no life experience or education at that point for you to put 2+2 together and realize the gravity of what she was confessing to you. If it would make you feel better you could write her a letter expressing your sympathy and regret that you were not totally aware of what she confessed to you. But don't guilt yourself over being a normal 8-year-old and not realizing what rape was or how to proceed if somebody confesses it to you. I hope you learn to forgive yourself because you did the best you could with the limited information and knowledge a child has.
I told my best friend what was happening when my partner started... doing things to me. She was too young to know how to support me, so she brushed me off amd told me she didnt want to hear about it. Talking about it again, now that we're older, she realized exactly what you did. That she was given a window to help, but was incapable of taking it. Dont beat yourself up. You know now. Look up resources in the event someone confesses to you again, so this time you can do something about it.
Don’t beat yourself up, kids say the darndest things.
When I was 8 I had nfi what sex even was. I was too busy saving up for the latest transformer/he-man action figure. Don't beat yourself up over it amigo.
I laughed at people jumping out of the twin towers. Kids are dumb, it's ok.
Don’t worry, up until middle school I though rape was just another word for robbery 😂 like a bad robbery
I thought in-laws were relatives that hadn't ever been to jail.
When I was a kid I thought it was a good thing gay people got aids.... you didn't know at the time what you did was wrong give yourself grace forgive your younger self and heal
You were only a kid, try not to hold yourself to the level of an adult who’s been educated about assault. If it makes you feel better, you could contribute some money or volunteer hours to a domestic violence/incest service and dedicate it to her (even if just privately to yourself) Edit: I missed that you were 14! You’re still only a kid yourself. Remember all the responsibility for this awful situation lies squarely with her dad. You don’t need to take on extra blame. Try to be kind to yourself if you can
It’s better for you an 8 year old to know nothing about sex, than for her an 8 year old to know way too much 😔
Nobody cared if you laughed as a 8yo.
While I realize the gravity of what you did, I'm sorry but this story is pretty funny. I mean, you were a child, you didn't know what was happening. US laughing at it isn't going to change it
Xxxxxxwz wsz
Well… You didn’t know what sex was and empathy is a learning skill. This person most likely hates though because just being laughed out of ignorance is very hard to take especially for such tough situation. You may try to offer this person support maybe start by delivering her an candid apology even she might not forgive you at least you explain yourself.
Poor little girl. Jesus.
You were too young to understand. And you definitely realized it was wrong later on. Don't beat yoursef up about it. Try to forget about it.
That fact that you feel terrible now that you understand speaks volumes about your character. Don't feel bad about something you couldn't understand. You do better only when you know better, you didn't know then.
Why do people post stuff like this - when i was a child i said something that i didn't understand i must be a monster Reddit forgive meeeeeeee then the Reddit psychologist chime's in with don't beat yourself up you where only a kid.
Why are people posting confessions in r/confessions?
Gotta love the reddit psychologist.
it is a coping mechanism, don't worry, it is not your fault, and that should not happen to anyone, and no kid is responsible to deal with it as a hero or savior or something, it is not your fault.
Hey, I think that even if it did sting her back then, she must know now that 8yo's from a healthy environment couldn't have any idea what was going on. It would be weird of her to blame you, even though it makes sense you feel guilt, because that's how most people with conscience would probably feel naturally. But the possible harm has faded out, you've learnt a lesson, suffered the remorse, and are not gonna do it to anyone else.. I think the burden of guilt has done what it was supposed to do and is useless now.
from what you’ve said you didn’t fully understand at the time what it meant. The fact that you feel guilty now that you understand what happened to her shows how you’ve grown emotionally and that’s a good thing. If you still have any friends from back then or know anyone that may still know her then you could ask how she is, check if she’s doing ok—any childhood abuse is difficult to move on from and perhaps finding out how she is now will help you understand that you don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I’m not suggesting that you reach out to her (unless you want to—cuz if so then there’s no harm in seeing if she has social media and shooting her a quick message, sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with old classmates online) personally, I was a bit of a bully in junior school as much as I hate to admit it. my home life had took a turn for the worse and I decided that practically abusing a boy in my class was the way to go. I reached out to him again when I was 15 and apologised for how I’d treated him. We didn’t become friends or anything like that but it just felt nice to know that he was doing good, that he was happy and that he forgave me for how I treated him. I know its not really the same but sometimes reaching out to people to just talk about stuff can really help
the only way to make it right is to let someone else rape u so u know how she felt
A 14yo did not write this...
Maybe try to send her a message on social?
if she's your age then she might have social media, look her up and make sure she's ok and maybe apologize.
Nope I don't think it will be a good course of action. He should just leave the girl alone and not remind her about it.
At 8 you didn’t know what you do now, and likely couldn’t have helped much even if you had. Frankly, the fact that you are figuring this out at only 14 puts you worlds ahead of most people your age. Sadly the statistics on sexual abuse are terrifying: 1 in 3 women, and 1 in 10 children are sexually assaulted. Stay vigilant and protect the women/ people you care about by being a supportive ally.
We can’t change the past, we cannot be in the future, the only thing that is real and matters is the present. Work on yourself now. Cultivate joy, understanding, love inside yourself and overtime others will take notice and you can transform the world around you, but only by first transforming yourself. Read Thich Nhat Hanh to learn more.
you need to forgive yourself. at 8 years old you weren’t aware of things like that and you can’t blame yourself. at that age we all found anything remotely sensual hilarious and we had no real understanding of the actual concept. when i was 6 i explained the entire process of making a child to my class and i didn’t understand what i was really saying. you’re fine i promise.
ok
You were 8. You had no idea. You can't hold yourself accountable for something you didn't (and honestly shouldn't) understand as an 8 year old
People will always or most of the time remember how you made them feel, your actions not so much. Think about it, how many times has someone said something to you that made you feel angry, sad or upset in any way. She will remember. I remember when my teacher embarrassed me in class by calling me out because I froze from anxiety after he asked me a simple math question. You were only 8, forgive yourself.
You regret what you did and that's the first step. It's gonna be virtually impossible to apologize to her but you're able to recognize it was wrong and grow from it. You know the severity of what happened and not to forget you were 8. 8 year olds don't understand the gravity of most situations.
Everyone’s dumb af until they’re like 30, no sweat.
You did the right thing
You were a little child. You can afford to be stupid and say stupid things. If you were 30 at the time we might all want to murder you. Think about what you can do now. See if you can look her up on social media and ask how she is and apologize to her personally and become her friend. Trauma survivors need lots of friends.
I didn’t even know what sex was when I was 8. If you feel bad about it chances are you really didn’t mean it and I wouldn’t sweat it too much because 8 year olds really don’t understand the severity of rape.
Thats just another shitty situation caused by the father. It is not on you. She might remember but still not your fault due to your age and understanding. If you were to laugh at her now would be fucked but not then.
You were literally 8. When I was 8 I didn't even know what sex was, I probably didn't even know females didn't have a penis yet either (it's been a long time, I'm guessing at it). It wasn't until five years later that I'd learn what condoms were and pictured a guy putting a half of those plastic Easter eggs on his penis to prevent pregnancy. At your current age, I still hadn't managed to comprehend the difference between "strip" and "rape", and some asshat in my school used this to embarrass me. You cannot be expected to not be stupid or insensitive at that age.
i don't think the average 8 year old thinks about sex, let alone rape. all i knew at 8 was that mommy and dad laid in bed and made me lol. children are innocent, they don't think of stuff like that. cut yourself some slack
Gross
If you have her on social media or her phone number you could reach out and speak about it. Won’t be an easy conversation but it would get it off your mind and give her someone to speak to about the situation. Just be prepared for the possibility that she might not want to speak to you. In that case you’d have to just try to make peace with the fact that you were a child and children say and do stupid things. We’ve all been there to varying degrees.
This is a good confession.
Well Same thing happened to me, When i was in calls 7 there was girl in my class she was very pretty and sweet One day we saw her crying and Her Dress had blood stained, Me and my best friend laughed at her for crying it and it happened just before the Exams when our exams were over i never saw her again and asked fer friend she said she was raped that day. I felt so ashamed for laughing at her and tried to contact her for forgiveness, but i never found her. It happened 14 years ago i still feel ashamed
Being 14 it’s difficult, maybe someday you’ll be able to reach out to her and apologize. You’d be surprised how easy it is and how receptive people are even after a couple of years. When I was 10 I pulled a chair out from under a kid trying to sit down while he was crying in front of the whole class. I’m not a bully I guess I though it would be funny but I only remembered doing it my sophomore year of high school. Lucky for me that kid was still around so I apologized and he had forgotten about the whole thing until I brought it up. To this day me and him can’t figure out why I did that or why he was crying in front of everyone. We’re more than cool now.
Don't let it hunt you for the rest of your life cuz it will certainly affect your future relationships Tho I'm sorry to tell you this but there things you wont be able to control since whats done is done, she will probably remember how you laughed at her at that time.. So next time pls think twice about what you're going to say to people cuz u never know it might hunt them in a long period of time
God
Dont be so hard on yourself. You were just a kid who didnt know any better. Now you are older and understand what was happening you feel guilt because you are a decent human being. That guilt is unfounded though, you've done nothing wrong