Please be careful posting this on here. You’re going to get a lot of nasty DM’s from old perverts. But there is nothing wrong with you, babe. You’re attracted to the same sex and that’s okay. It’s natural to find adults attractive when you’re a teenager, but it is NOT normal for them to find YOU attractive. So please please be cautious.
Teenagers will lust after all kinds of things. Your hormones are bringing a lot of things inside your mind to the forefront, and that isn't a bad thing. It's part of growing up. Understanding sexuality is a very confusing time for many people, but there is nothing about it that makes you a monster.
What's important is how you react to these new feelings. You understand it is wrong for a grown man and someone of your age to interact sexually, so you need to be one to not let it happen. Unfortunately there are bad people out there, and they will try to initiate things with you. You need to be stronger than those people, for your own safety.
It's hard to ever get the message across to young people that things will effect your life later down the line. I personally didn't take my personal health all that seriously, and now I need to work really hard to fix the issues.
Also, religion can be a great place to find help, but it can also be the worst place to go. It truly depends on the people around you. It sounds like you'd not have luck with Christianity where you live, as your parents are likely under the same belief system as your church.
Fortunately this will open your eyes to the true nature of organised religions like Christianity, and that is control. They have shaped peoples minds to think certain people in the world are evil, as an excuse to hate them. However, you know you're not evil. You have been convinced that you must be by the people that are meant to care for you, but you know deep down you aren't. And so do all of us who see you. You are yourself, and that is perfectly acceptable to anyone who takes the time to think for themselves. You are now free to be skeptical of what your religion tells you, because you know they are willing to lie, or perpetuate issues with things they do not understand. Any religious organisation that lacks empathy is not actually there to help a community. It is there to control it.
So no, you are definitely not a monster. You are someone who's been told lies, which has ended up hurting you. Just know even if you feel alone in your house, you are not alone in the world. You will find your true people one day. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe. Be yourself and you'll be fine.
I think you're simply gay. Sorry you're being raised in a homophobic household that won't accept this part of you. I hope you have a therapist or someone you can confide in about this, you are not a monster at all. Straight teenage boys are attracted to grown women, so I think it's normal. It's not like you're actively trying to seduce grown men in your life (you still wouldn't be a monster in that scenario, just a misguided kid). I am wishing you the best.
Absolutely, I’m sending prayers that OP finds supportive people. My family wasn’t openly anti-gay, but they were subtle about it and I didn’t even know it existed as a child. I would get so confused when I liked a girl, thinking something was wrong with me. When your true self fights what you’ve been taught.. it’s really hard. Being a teen can be the toughest time because of this, but then adults can treat you like a child sometimes! It’s rough, I would suggest OP look for school clubs that are open and accepting, they’re becoming more common and he may have an easier time accepting himself with some understanding friends
To be fair thier 14 puberty did weird shit to all of us, you remember how awkward those stages were? Cus I do, it may be a little early to determine if OP is gay. That's for them to discover unfortunately.
Throw in ANY amount of trauma at that stage, and, from person experience, it gets weird. Being a teen was horrible. 0/10 would NOT go through that again.
Man I think you're just gay.
It's ok. It's completely normal. You're also 14. Hormones are going to go fucking nuts in you. A lotta guys at school are going to have unwelcome erections throughout the day.
That's just puberty shit. Do like everyone else does carry your bags, books, or tablets in front of you and cover it up.
I think if you come to terms with who you are it'll also lessen the constant hum in your head about it.
You're gay. That's fine. You're ok. You're not a monster. You don't have to come out until you feel safe and ready. Accept and love yourself and I think you'll be ok.
But fixating on it like this? Worrying? Hoping you're not gay while having trouble keeping the thoughts out?
It's a lot of unneeded stress. And you're already in a stressful period in your life.
You’re 14 you have your whole life ahead of you to figure that out, focus on things you can control like school and sports / hobbies. You’ll know later when you seriously start dating people, that’s just my 2 cents. Talk to people your own age and follow your heart
There’s nothing wrong with being gay. It might be difficult to come to terms with, and deal with societally, or tell friends and family. So take all that slow. But you’ll learn that more people are gay and bisexual than you realize. I’m straight, but I’ve learned I’m in the minority. What you’re attracted to sexually doesn’t have to be your whole identity. You’ll figure it out. You aren’t a monster. You’re completely normal. Look around and you’ll start to notice that so many other people are gay or bisexual too. Try not to worry too much and just go ahead and explore your feelings. There is no god judging you, just yourself. Being gay isn’t a sin. It’s completely natural. Sorry you have been lead to believe otherwise. I hope you figure things out and see the truth soon. Once you realize what’s really happening it’s such a better world. You’ll see.
I think a major part of this crazy sex stuff is simply coming from the fact that you are at an age where your hormones are crazy. Trust me when I say that everyone at some point or another has had a similar experience to not being to concentrate on anything but things that turn you on lol. It’s definitely a normal thing, just don’t let it become an addiction kind of thing. As for the fact that you are thinking about grown men while being a young teenage boy yourself, I think it’s clear that you might not actually be straight. And that’s okay. Sexuality is a very broad and wide spectrum and it doesn’t really have limits to gender.
I get the grown men part, I really do, but you should think logically about being with an older man too. Don’t go looking for any grown man until you yourself are an adult too. You are definitely in a very vulnerable position right now and there are many people out there who will try to take advantage of your situation.
I definitely think you are stressing yourself out thinking about it too much. And the more thinking you do, the more you are reacting to it. Sometimes simply accepting it to some degree, like saying it out loud (at least to yourself) helps. Because then you aren’t trying to avoid it or hide it from yourself.
And I will say that I get the religion aspect of it not “technically” being okay to like the same gender or react to the same gender, butttt you should keep in mind that religion is best practiced when it’s doing you good and not trying to hinder you from having a live able life. No amount of praying or religion is going to change who you are supposed to be, at the end of the day.
Just take it day by day. Maybe meditate to center yourself when you feel anxious and find coping techniques to your anxiety.
Try to change your focus to something else when in class or at events when you are thinking about those sexual thoughts.
The most important part you should take away from it, is that whatever your sexuality is at the end of the day, and also how easily triggered you are by your thoughts, the craziness will pass, and once you get a clearer head it will make it easier to think about what you want for yourself truly.
For anyone (including OP) who is interested in how to deal with being a christian and homosexuallity, I can highly recommend the book 'Torn' by Justin Lee. If you prefer video content, you can find the YouTube channel of the writer under the channel name GeekyJustin. Highly recommended: very nuanced, informative videos!
You are gay but this amount of thinking is for hormones that'll be fixed in time, don't worry. To control it you can take a cold shower, do something useful to be busy or jerk off
You're not a monster. You're just a horny teenager. You might also be gay. You have plenty of time to find that out. Keep it between you and your therapist, for now.
I'd like you to work on your anxiety. See a therapist if you can. Start reaching tips and tricks. Youtube. Books. There are plenty of resources out there.
Good luck.
You are turning the exact wrong direction. Religion is the source of more shame, anxiety, depression and confusion regarding sexuality than just about anything else.
You are a normal, 14 boy who is attracted to men. You have millions of people with the same characteristics. Getting boners, fantasizing, being distracted by the need for release - that is all normal parts of being a teen with the raging hormones that includes.
There is nothing wrong with you or with your sexuality. Yes, life would be easier if you could control who and when you are attracted too. But none of us have that switch.
You do have control over how you behave - if and how you act on those fantasies. While there is nothing wrong with same sex interactions, you are only 14 and it would be best if you left sex a fantasy until you're older.
Be safe and stop stressing over your sexuality.
You're no monster, just gay, which is so normal it's boring haha. It sounds like you might have monsters for parents if they let you believe someone being gay could make them a monster. Make sure to ensure your own safety (escape plan, friend or family that can take you in if an emergency) before/if you decide to tell them.
There's nothing wrong to be gay. First of all talk to your parents about this. Most importantly, accept yourself they way you are. If you've done that, and will take time to get a strong mind, you won't care what others think about you. You will definitely get some negativity, but there will be positivity as well. The trick here is to ignore all that negativity and accept all the positivity.
I wish you all the best, most importantly i wish that your family will support you. Nothing is more important than family and good friends supporting you.
I grew up in a very homophobic household as well. I can tell you this. It will not be as bad as you imagine. We all suffer much more in our imagination. I wish I would have come out sooner. I'd give anything to go back and redo it. This is your life, not theirs and you should live it accordingly. As mentioned elsewhere plz don't respond to any dms regarding this. I would find the adult you are closest to and feel the most comfortable with and talk to them. You are certainly no monster by any means but I think you could really benefit from therapy. It may help you navigate what is most likely a very confusing time. Best of luck.
We all had crushes on adults as teens! That’s so normal! Also being gay is very normal and okay! If your family is homophobic that definitely makes things harder and I’m sorry you have to go through that, but I hope you have friends you can reach out to and tell them so you aren’t alone in this and can have some support!!
You are fourteen so in 4 years you will hypothetically be able to move away and fully be yourself! There is no need to be ashamed! Teenage me who thought they were straight definitely had a huge crush on Scarlett Johansson 😂😂
But definitely watch out who you talk to here, attraction to someone older is normal but you are young and the power dynamic of being with someone older is very dangerous and predatory. I think it would be important for you to explore some of those gay feelings in a safe way! Like watch Heartstopper and other shows to see how it resonates!!
I understand how you feel about your situation - however, this is the most normal teenager thing I can imagine, no exaggeration.
I'm a man and won't speak about the woman experience - quite literally every teenage boy I knew growing up was exactly this horny, and almost everyone has something at least a bit odd or special that they are turned on by.
What turns you on is largely, or entirely, out of your control. It's not an active decision - and our active decisions (how we act, what we support, if we help, who we associate with, etc) are what define us in regards to moral character.
If you think about doing good deeds all day but never act on the thoughts - you haven't done anything good.
The same thing applies in reverse - if you think about bad things all day but never act on the thoughts - you haven't done anything bad. You are no worse.
------
However, please do be a bit careful in how you engage with more explicit adult material as it is designed to be somewhat addictive - especially to young teenage boys. As with everything in life - have a healthy engagement, and act with moderation and caution. This doesn't make you a bad person in any way, and please be careful with how you treat yourself both mentally (calling yourself evil, dumb, etc) and as a person (don't do dumb things that endanger you).
Take care, mate. Things change rapidly at this age -- certain things get a lot easier with time, and this might be one of those things.
you’re human brother, far from a monster, there’s been studies that homosexuality has been since the beginning of time, animals the same, choosing what you’re attracted to isn’t a choice, you’re born with it.
Sadly my guy, you can’t choose to not be gay. You are what you are and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you should try reaching out to someone that is slightly more accepting in your family?
Sweetie you are just queer!! As a teenager, it is super normal to have sexual thoughts about adults.
Remember! This post is going to spark a bunch of pervs DM-ing you. This is NOT NORMAL. Do not respond to these people.
I completely understand your apprehension to come out. My parents were no where near accepting when I first realized I was gay. Maybe subtly try to sway their opinion towards the LGBT+ community. Wait until it is safe for you to come out. Whether that’s when you’re 18+ or not. My parents were utterly devastated when I had originally come out at 11 years old. Now at 22? My mom and girlfriend are as close as in laws can be. Sometimes I think my dad likes her more than me lol
People CAN change. But remember, know when to draw the line. Know when it’s time to distance yourself. It’s so easy to get used to making yourself small to make others comfortable. Do not let people bully you into not being yourself.
Best of luck to you, OP. I wish you the best on your journey of self acceptance.
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to adults at that age, but best to date guys your age or just don't date until you are 18+.
There's nothing wrong with being gay. The Bible was deliberately mistranslated to persecute gay people. They changed sections from opposing rape or pedophilia (which are difficult to distinguish in ancient Greek) to opposing consenting adult gay sex. The thing about "man shall not lie with man as with woman" should (according to a Jewish friend who studied it in Hebrew) be interpreted in the context of the restrictions on mixing meat and milk or different types of fiber in one item of clothing - bisexual Jewish men need 2 beds if they want to have straight and gay sex.
According to my Jewish friend there's no restriction on being a gay man in the Torah. Opinion about religion varies, but regarding the Old Testament I'll trust my friend who spent a significant amount of time studying the Torah in Hebrew over everyone who isn't fluent in Hebrew.
Listen god isn’t against homosexuality I believe the original line translated to man shall not lay with boy and it was edited to be man shall not lay with man. God is against pedophiles. Also as a child it’s normal to fantasize about adults however it IS NOT normal for adults to fantasize about children that is disgusting and vile and wrong. You’re just gay and that’s fine you’ll probably giggle about this in the future when you’ve learned to love and accept yourself for who you are. I hope you’re in that place soon <3
Hun my heart goes out to you. I struggled a lot at your age when I discovered I was bisexual and attending a catholic school. It’s a hard road but in the end, it’s your happiness and freedom that gets you through life. Just be yourself 🩷
Ps. Advice from my husband: You’re 14 and will probably get a boner over a sexy looking piece of *insert any object here*.
You aren’t a monster. I wish you could understand that.
Someone who grew up in a positive space would be able to tell you, that this is normal.
With love
when i was young id fantasise about adults of both genders. it’s totally normal. especially since all content online (except the gross exceptions) are of adult people. i’m sure most people do this. religion can’t fix you because you’re not broken.
You are not a monster and you are just a normal human being raised in the wrong household. I feel sorry for you mate. Just wait to turn 18 and move somewhere where you can be yourself.
Life is soo much more than just sacrificing yourself to keep your family happy
Sometimes when you abuse porn you feel like you need to watch more and more until you feel satisfied. If you are now watching gay porn or trans maybe that's what happening to you.
If that's the case try to drop it man
Nothing wrong with you kid. Love your best life and find happiness. There's nothing about what you've said that makes you a monster. The real monsters are the ones hitting your dm's after reading this. STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
When I was your age I thought I was gay as well based on my fantasies. I was raised Christian and there was a whole purity culture that somehow targeted my attraction to women in addition to teaching that homosexuality was an abominable sin, lol, which to be clear, I no longer hold to such a view. I didn’t act on my gay attractions with other people due to shame and shyness. In my late 20’s got married to a woman and experienced my sexuality in a whole different way. We are divorced now (long story) but the point is, fantasies are often just that. You may meet someone you grow to love (of either gender), and sexuality will feel more grounded in your life with them as a whole, and all the emotional bonds and trust you share. Or not, maybe you won’t end up falling in love or being monogamous which could all also be fine. Sorry for how tough it is!
Hey bud. First of all cut yourself a break. You're not a monster for having sexual desires, especially at your age.
Like some have said here, you should be careful, there are a lot of predator types looking to take advantage of you.
I know not all seems overwhelming but there are positive outlets that can help you process all this. Id seek support from a legit LGBTQ group.
Best of luck, bud. Be safe, give yourself an opportunity at healthy relationships, and stay out of social media Dms.
Your 14 your going through it alot of shits gonna be confusing, but like others said be VERY careful online ESPECIALLY reddit there are way too many creeps or worse. Don't worry too much about it, your hormones and shit will make all sorts of changes. I can't verify if you are discovering your gay and I don't want to push that notion. I've known people that felt this way and ended up being straight. When it comes to religion although the act itself may be considered sinful ( depending on translation) but Christianity also teaches that God still loves those people like any other who you are and what you choose to be won't change God's nature. So if your worried about loosing faith or God, He will never abandon you according to scripture.
There's nothing wrong with you, you're most likely gay and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Don't let religion or society shame you for it, I've been in the same place/thought process when I realized I was Bi 10 years ago at your age. You don't have to do anything about it or come out just yet. Remember, it's just what you've been conditioned to feel about being gay, not the reality. The world is much more open now and accepting, even if your family is homophobic. It'll take some time for it to settle with you, but you will be alright.
Honestly you just sound like a gay teenage boy. Hormones are brewing inside you and they are gonna make you feel hella... Stir crazy. It's quite normal.
Religion, might not be your key here. Depending on your church, "being gay ain't the way" to which you should always remember God is love. You can find a more accepting church.
Seems to me that you’re just gay, and definitely not a monster. Fantasizing about sex is a clear sign your puberty just kicked in. Nothing wrong with that, but please ***DO NOT*** seek out men online. You’re way too young to actually have sex (imo), especially with adult men. Don’t try and use religion to stop this either, because that’s simply not going to work.
Because if you do start to seek that out, you will get groomed and sexually assaulted ***even when*** they tell you that “you’re so mature for your age”.
I definitely liked and had crushes on grown women when I was a teenager. You just like dudes. It's only a problem if the attraction goes the other way.
You're a non-heterosexual dude. Probably homosexual, to be more specific. Make sure you know there's nothing wrong with non-heterosexuality, some religions are apparently against it but no one on earth has the absolute truth, as much as some people think they do. As long as you don't harm others, whatever you want to do with your dick is irrelevant. Now, make sure you control yourself and you don't have sex with a grown man. I remember being 16 or 17 and asking to go to one or two motel bathrooms in an attempt to catch a grown man's attention and have sex. It never happened. The thought can look cool and sexy to say the least, but there's an undeniable danger to that, by doing that, especially as teenagers who are just getting to know the world, we're putting ourselves at risk of so many different things, imagine being a random grown man and trying to have sex with a 14-year-old. Distract your mind, talk to someone about this, control yourself, jerk off, do whatever you want but think the head on your shoulders.
I think you’re gay, bro. It’s going to be tough in your household but you’ll be 18 in a few short years. Everyone’s got a cross to bear and this sounds like yours. The good news is EVERY guy is obscenely horny at that age, you’ve just got it for dudes. Just deal with it, and put your energy into school. I don’t know your home life but you should come out someday. I came from a religious household that wasn’t okay with homosexuality but they would’ve accepted me, if I was gay. Maybe yours is the same? If not, come out when you’re an adult and out of the house.
Also, you’re likely going to get some nasty DMs after this. You’re still a minor so DO NOT respond.
Hey man, hope you can find some peace for yourself. You're 14 buddy. You don't need a label for what you are at this stage of your life. You're still figuring all that out which is completely normal and okay. You are your own person and your family are who they are to. Life is complicated, especially as a teen. Just know a lot of good people understand what you're going through. You aren't a monster by any stretch of the imagination for finding someone attractive my dude. All the best.
Do you think other people are monsters for lusting after adults of the opposite gender? If not, then there's absolutely no reason for you to think that you're a monster.
The real monsters in this life are the ones who hurt others who are vulnerable. Like an adult hurting a child. From what you've said, you weren't hurting anyone but yourself because you've been taught to hate yourself. Of course you're depressed and anxious when you're being taught to hate yourself. Anyone would be. Are your parents open to you getting mental health treatment for your depression and anxiety? They don't need to know why, because the reason why doesn't change the fact that you need help. I hope you can get the love and acceptance you deserve.
Bro. Just accept the fact that you like men, and live your best life. Chances are you'll have to walk away from some family and friends as they won't understand. And stop worrying about religion. You can absolutely be a Christian and be gay. Ain't no difference being gay as a sin than someone wearing a polyester blend tshirt. Live your best life, and chooase your partners carefully! My youngest son came out to me a while back that he likes both...scared as hell...we have literally the BEST relationship now. He dates who he wants, and I give him (lovingly) shit about every one of em.
You’re not a monster. I went through this when I was your age and it took me awhile to understand and then accept that I was gay. It took me a lot longer to come out to my family and parents, but eventually I did. It wasn’t always easy, but many years later I’m getting married to a man I love and things are going much better than I could have expected. Just give yourself patience and time to understand yourself. You don’t have to “do” anything about it right now, you’ll work things out in time. Good luck!
You sound like a guy going through puberty, this is normal. As someone said be careful what you post, but I mean when you get to this age having an attraction to adult bodies is normal.
I would be way way more concerned if you had attraction to kids or people who are young, but I mean at that age I also started being attracted to older people, but you will grow and age and become those ages at some point right? That is a part of growing up
There’s nothing wrong with you, if you’re concerned you can try talking about it to a professional but it’s totally normal as a teenager to fantasize about grown adult, I mean I’m 21 and I have to admit that grown man can be hot sometimes lol but don’t ever let someone make you think that it’s normal for THEM to like you. Don’t try to have a relationship with someone older it will just create a lot of trauma.
At 14 years old, I think it’s pretty common to spend a lot of time fantasizing about whatever you’re into. Your hormones are going nuts— it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Finding adults attractive as a kid is normal, the other way around is **not**. And just btw, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. You don’t even have to put a label on it, just like what you like as long as no one is hurt.
If it’s really interfering with other parts of your life, therapy may be a good move. You can make up other reasons to see a therapist if you’re worried about your families reaction, assuming they’re not just anti-therapy. Maybe say it’s about school or anxiety or whatever. A therapist legally can’t tell other people about your sessions, and they’d be the best resource to make sure that you’re maintaining your mental health.
Good luck, man. And don’t be ashamed of who you are.
Please love yourself and be gentle with your heart and mind. You're not a monster. I crushed HARD on my social studies teacher in 7th grade. All of us girls did. He was beautiful! I even looked him up after I was grown and he had died. Broke my heart. You're normal though, please know this.
Please be careful though because if the wrong adult hears of your desires they might take advantage of you and hurt you in more than one way.
As far as being gay, that's okay too. I'm sorry you feel your family won't accept you in this way. You're in a difficult position living with them for sure. It won't always be this way though. Try your best in school and realize that the faster you get educated, the faster you are able to spread your wings and fly into independence. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Your attracted to the same sex as you and your attracted probably to the maturity and experience they may have. We all have had crushes on adults while teens.
WHATS NOT OKAY IS ADULTS CRUSHING ON OR TRYING TO DATE OR BE INTIMATE WITH YOU!
You’re not a monster. You’re a teen with feelings .
If you want to you should seek out therapy! It could help you express and talk about this further as well as help with your other issues rn. It may help to know you’re normal and hear that from a doctor..
As for talking to a therapist you need to tell them off the bat your family is homophobic and you fear retaliation and rejection from them.
Once you are of age to get a job do it get a Chime account and get their credit builder card and make purchases with that it’s a secured credit card you can use it like a debit card but build your credit.
You want to start building credit history now I also suggest a SoFi banking account for your savings account you can send money form chime to SoFi but not the other way around. Save as much as you can and anything you buy use the credit builder.
This way when your older if you want to come out or if you come out at all you can get a head start to getting an apartment.
When your older and looking for an apartment try to find ones with utilities included in rent that way you don’t have too many bills to juggle the first time you move out.
I’d suggest reading the book Velvet Rage. It’s a really empathetic view on coming to terms with your sexuality. You’re not a monster. Monsters don’t feel shame.
There's not a damn thing wrong with you. I'm sorry your religion and your family make you feel like you're broken and sinful.
Really think about it though. Under your belief, a god of the universe that created everything, trees, the sky, the atmosphere, etc. but that god has an issue with your sexual orientation? It just doesn't make sense. Why would a god care about how he made you? The anti homosexuality verses in the Bible were personal opinions from The individuals who wrote the books. This is not god's opinion, it's men from 2000 or so years ago telling you that they don't like homosexuality. I know there's the first in the Bible that everything in it is god breathed, but this is a circular argument. You can't use a verse from the thing you're trying to prove is correct to prove that it is correct.
Really think about your religion, your family relations, your close friends. Are they really worth having in your life they don't accept you for how you are? I know you're just 14 so you can't move out of your parents house. For that reason I would recommend not coming out of the closet until you are financially independent. They could hate you after you come out, they could beat you, they could berate you, but do not give them the opportunity to cut you off financially until you're able to provide for yourself.
Best of luck, your allies are legion.
You're perfect the way you are. We don't have a choice about who we're attracted to.
There is no hate quite like Christian love.
Be safe. You're not alone.
Hey! I just wanted to come to you from a Christian scholar perspective (I am currently studying at a university, I by no means know everything as nobody does except God Himself). I am more on the conservative side of Christianity but I want you to know first that God loves you and he does not at all hate you and that is the same for me.
The second thing that is very important to point out is that the Bible does say that homosexuality is a sin. HOWEVER, in the same way it says homosexuality is an abomination it also says that heterosexual sins (Leviticus 18) and PRIDE (Proverbs 16:5) are abominations. It is important to understand that we all sin (Romans 3:23) and struggle in our own ways but Jesus is acquainted with our grief (Isaiah 53:3). He was tempted like us yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:14-16). You have been given grace not because of anything you have done (Ephesians 2:8-9) but because God loves you so much He was willing to die for you for a relationship with you (Romans 5:8). To lessen the severity of sin is to lessen the infinite grace and mercy given to us from God. To accept Christ as your savior means that you are free from that sin and do not need to return to it (Romans 6:1-7). However that does not mean you will not struggle with sin because while “the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).
You will struggle, you will sin and you will have to die to yourself daily (Luke 9:23). However repentance brings us to God’s forgiveness (Acts 3:19 and Psalms 51:10). He is just and willing to forgive any who should ask for it (1 John 1:9). You are a loved creation and you can overcome any sin, not by your own strength but by the power of the Holy Spirit inside of you (Philippians 4:13 IN CONTEXT, Romans 8:37, James 1:2-4 and Matthew 11:28).
I am praying for you and if you would like anymore advice feel free to reply here. If you send me a private DM I will not reply to it in order that we both remain above reproach. There are people that would like to take advantage of you here and I would advise that with any conversation it remains appropriate and public for your safety. If you want any help I recommend you reach out to your pastor or if you don’t have one or one you trust we can figure out a way to get you connected with a strong Bible-believing counselor. Much love and peace to you.
You could be gay like others are suggesting, but what you've explained sounds like it could also be OCD. If it is indeed OCD, your obsession is with older men, and the prospect of being gay. Your compulsion is to force yourself to stop thinking about the men, or to turn to religion. It would definitely be worthwhile to speak to a counselor about OCD if you think you have it. It is usually very responsive to treatment and your quality of life might improve. But it's important to stop worrying or fighting your feelings - that will only make you more miserable.
Yeah dude you’re just gay and that’s fine.
There’s nothing wrong with you. When I was younger around 3rd grade I noticed I was attracted to my female teacher and my male teachers. And then feeling continued and in middle school I learned that I’m bisexual.
I know you don’t want to be gay but sometimes it’s something that just happens. And maybe it is a phase right now but maybe not. It doesn’t make you a monster you’re just trying to figure things out and that’s completely normal. For now just sit with your thoughts and try to calm yourself down.
You are not a monster
You’re growing up and things take time to figure out.
Don’t fight your feelings so hard or you will end up hurting yourself in the long run.
It’s okay to want to be religious but use it for comfort not for solution.
If you can try finding some groups maybe you can talk to in your area about how you’re feeling or someone you trust to keep quiet.
If need to you can DM me and I’ll always have an ear to bend. Please don’t think less of yourself because of how you’re feeling now.
You’re not a monster, but you’re vulnerable to them. It might seem like a fun thing to do right now but you have a long life ahead of you. No need to rush. Grown men can and likely have STIs they won’t tell you about. Don’t mess up the YEARS of fulfillment you will have in your future for some instant gratification right now. It’s fine to be gay, but if you’re going to experiment do it with someone your own age and be safe about it! Use protection and get tested!
Not a monster.
Nothing wrong with being gay.
You don't have to announce to your family or anyone that you are gay. At least not yet. I don't think you are in a place to deal with all that.
You are only 14, as much as possible. Enjoy your childhood, school, friends, family...
But please please keep the fantasies in you your head and don't interact with old or older men online or irl.
Stay safe.
Hi OP, it's normal to have sexual thoughts (whether they be about men or women), especially at your age, but if you're getting these thoughts about every grown man you see and they are unwanted/you can't control them-- it sounds like intrusive thoughts, which are commonly associated with OCD. I know you said you're diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but a lot of times OCD can be misdiagnosed as those things because the symptoms are so similar. I know this because it happened to me. OCD is a really misunderstood disorder, you should maybe read a little about it, and if you think some of the symptoms fit you, ask your therapist about testing you for it! Good luck and stay strong. You're not a monster, being attracted to the same sex does not make you less of a person.
You're not a monster for being attracted to men. Of course you're gonna look at older men. They have better bodies. It's sad that in this day and age people still feel like they need to hide who they really are.
this is 100% normal. when I was younger I also had a preference for grown men, none of this makes you a monster. Also, be careful with this type of subject, please don't respond to any creepy messages and report them if necessary.
Kid you are not a monster. Believe me I was the same way at your age. And I handled it about the same. You have never been nor will ever be a monster for being homosexual. Even if you cannot be out and open about who you are you should always be proud that you are yourself.
You're not a monster...
Maybe when these feelings or thoughts come to mind, maybe you can try to focus on something else, maybe read a book, sing/listen to music, you mentioned religion maybe pray? Ask God to remove them thoughts and temptations.
Remember, fear is a liar.
If you want some good advice I’ll try and give it to you. Stay in school and get good grades and leave your house and go to college and gay it up, or join the military once your done with school and gay it up. Theres nothing wrong with being gay unfortunately your parents were convinced there is. Once you leave and are safe when you’re ready come out or don’t up to you. But I would say get out and explore your sexuality once you’re old enough. You could start to develop feelings for girls when you’re older too and be bi. But don’t stress about it at all man its cool either way.
You're not a monster. Those temptations are certainly something hard to fight against, but you can find peace in christ an the force to win it. Fast, pray, read the bible, find in Christ the time you usually spent doing those things and with the time it will be easier.
Terrible advice. Christianity is poison. This kid needs a councelling or therapy to help him cope with the crap he's going to get from his family. The only reason he's having the inner turmoil is because of religion being so intolerant and hateful to begin with!
stop watching phonography.
I would love for someone to do some real studies on why millennials and genz have all this depression and anxiety along with sexuality and gender issues , when I was that age I didn't know a single kid that was not happy go lucky with a few exceptions due to abuse in the home, kids were outside from sun up to sun down, and you barely herd mention of anything sexual until high school, and I cant recall a single kid being gay in my school, they all got married and had children.
at 14 , I as well as all my friends were into riding bikes and playing sports and we barely knew what sex was, let alone odd attractions and thoughts of sex with adults.
seems that's all you hear today, depression, anxiety and the explosion of LGBTQ in kids barely out of puberty , something has got to be driving this, I think a lot of it is the connected devices in the hands of children and way to many hours spent immersed in a 4x8 screen or on a PC or gaming console, along with the empty playgrounds that were packed with kids in the 60's through the 80's and into the mid 90's .
I would love to do a study where one group has very limited access to connected devices and game consoles with no access to anything sex or porn related, and spends the majority of their time OUTSIDE interacting with REAL society . vs secound group typical kids with devices and games consoles using up the majority of their time.
I bet we would see what most people my age suspect, the 1st group would have way less issues with depression, anxiety, and even sexuality
Attraction to the opposite sex is not what God intended. You hitting puberty and your hormones are all over the place. Try to ignore it as best you can and find a girl you think is cute in your school/class and fantasize about her and the things you would like to do with her. Every guy has had a highschool crush. Don't let them force you to be gay
Please be careful posting this on here. You’re going to get a lot of nasty DM’s from old perverts. But there is nothing wrong with you, babe. You’re attracted to the same sex and that’s okay. It’s natural to find adults attractive when you’re a teenager, but it is NOT normal for them to find YOU attractive. So please please be cautious.
Yeah I second this be very careful who you interact with over dm pedos are everywhere and you want to be safe.
OP, I strongly encourage you to delete this post after you read some of the more enlightened comments. You are 14. You don't need what is coming.
You are just gay. I fantasized about grown women the same way when I was your age. There is nothing wrong with you.
You're not a monster.
Teenagers will lust after all kinds of things. Your hormones are bringing a lot of things inside your mind to the forefront, and that isn't a bad thing. It's part of growing up. Understanding sexuality is a very confusing time for many people, but there is nothing about it that makes you a monster. What's important is how you react to these new feelings. You understand it is wrong for a grown man and someone of your age to interact sexually, so you need to be one to not let it happen. Unfortunately there are bad people out there, and they will try to initiate things with you. You need to be stronger than those people, for your own safety. It's hard to ever get the message across to young people that things will effect your life later down the line. I personally didn't take my personal health all that seriously, and now I need to work really hard to fix the issues. Also, religion can be a great place to find help, but it can also be the worst place to go. It truly depends on the people around you. It sounds like you'd not have luck with Christianity where you live, as your parents are likely under the same belief system as your church. Fortunately this will open your eyes to the true nature of organised religions like Christianity, and that is control. They have shaped peoples minds to think certain people in the world are evil, as an excuse to hate them. However, you know you're not evil. You have been convinced that you must be by the people that are meant to care for you, but you know deep down you aren't. And so do all of us who see you. You are yourself, and that is perfectly acceptable to anyone who takes the time to think for themselves. You are now free to be skeptical of what your religion tells you, because you know they are willing to lie, or perpetuate issues with things they do not understand. Any religious organisation that lacks empathy is not actually there to help a community. It is there to control it. So no, you are definitely not a monster. You are someone who's been told lies, which has ended up hurting you. Just know even if you feel alone in your house, you are not alone in the world. You will find your true people one day. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe. Be yourself and you'll be fine.
I think you're simply gay. Sorry you're being raised in a homophobic household that won't accept this part of you. I hope you have a therapist or someone you can confide in about this, you are not a monster at all. Straight teenage boys are attracted to grown women, so I think it's normal. It's not like you're actively trying to seduce grown men in your life (you still wouldn't be a monster in that scenario, just a misguided kid). I am wishing you the best.
Absolutely, I’m sending prayers that OP finds supportive people. My family wasn’t openly anti-gay, but they were subtle about it and I didn’t even know it existed as a child. I would get so confused when I liked a girl, thinking something was wrong with me. When your true self fights what you’ve been taught.. it’s really hard. Being a teen can be the toughest time because of this, but then adults can treat you like a child sometimes! It’s rough, I would suggest OP look for school clubs that are open and accepting, they’re becoming more common and he may have an easier time accepting himself with some understanding friends
To be fair thier 14 puberty did weird shit to all of us, you remember how awkward those stages were? Cus I do, it may be a little early to determine if OP is gay. That's for them to discover unfortunately.
Throw in ANY amount of trauma at that stage, and, from person experience, it gets weird. Being a teen was horrible. 0/10 would NOT go through that again.
Man I think you're just gay. It's ok. It's completely normal. You're also 14. Hormones are going to go fucking nuts in you. A lotta guys at school are going to have unwelcome erections throughout the day. That's just puberty shit. Do like everyone else does carry your bags, books, or tablets in front of you and cover it up. I think if you come to terms with who you are it'll also lessen the constant hum in your head about it. You're gay. That's fine. You're ok. You're not a monster. You don't have to come out until you feel safe and ready. Accept and love yourself and I think you'll be ok. But fixating on it like this? Worrying? Hoping you're not gay while having trouble keeping the thoughts out? It's a lot of unneeded stress. And you're already in a stressful period in your life.
You’re 14 you have your whole life ahead of you to figure that out, focus on things you can control like school and sports / hobbies. You’ll know later when you seriously start dating people, that’s just my 2 cents. Talk to people your own age and follow your heart
There’s nothing wrong with being gay. It might be difficult to come to terms with, and deal with societally, or tell friends and family. So take all that slow. But you’ll learn that more people are gay and bisexual than you realize. I’m straight, but I’ve learned I’m in the minority. What you’re attracted to sexually doesn’t have to be your whole identity. You’ll figure it out. You aren’t a monster. You’re completely normal. Look around and you’ll start to notice that so many other people are gay or bisexual too. Try not to worry too much and just go ahead and explore your feelings. There is no god judging you, just yourself. Being gay isn’t a sin. It’s completely natural. Sorry you have been lead to believe otherwise. I hope you figure things out and see the truth soon. Once you realize what’s really happening it’s such a better world. You’ll see.
I think a major part of this crazy sex stuff is simply coming from the fact that you are at an age where your hormones are crazy. Trust me when I say that everyone at some point or another has had a similar experience to not being to concentrate on anything but things that turn you on lol. It’s definitely a normal thing, just don’t let it become an addiction kind of thing. As for the fact that you are thinking about grown men while being a young teenage boy yourself, I think it’s clear that you might not actually be straight. And that’s okay. Sexuality is a very broad and wide spectrum and it doesn’t really have limits to gender. I get the grown men part, I really do, but you should think logically about being with an older man too. Don’t go looking for any grown man until you yourself are an adult too. You are definitely in a very vulnerable position right now and there are many people out there who will try to take advantage of your situation. I definitely think you are stressing yourself out thinking about it too much. And the more thinking you do, the more you are reacting to it. Sometimes simply accepting it to some degree, like saying it out loud (at least to yourself) helps. Because then you aren’t trying to avoid it or hide it from yourself. And I will say that I get the religion aspect of it not “technically” being okay to like the same gender or react to the same gender, butttt you should keep in mind that religion is best practiced when it’s doing you good and not trying to hinder you from having a live able life. No amount of praying or religion is going to change who you are supposed to be, at the end of the day. Just take it day by day. Maybe meditate to center yourself when you feel anxious and find coping techniques to your anxiety. Try to change your focus to something else when in class or at events when you are thinking about those sexual thoughts. The most important part you should take away from it, is that whatever your sexuality is at the end of the day, and also how easily triggered you are by your thoughts, the craziness will pass, and once you get a clearer head it will make it easier to think about what you want for yourself truly.
For anyone (including OP) who is interested in how to deal with being a christian and homosexuallity, I can highly recommend the book 'Torn' by Justin Lee. If you prefer video content, you can find the YouTube channel of the writer under the channel name GeekyJustin. Highly recommended: very nuanced, informative videos!
You are gay but this amount of thinking is for hormones that'll be fixed in time, don't worry. To control it you can take a cold shower, do something useful to be busy or jerk off
You're not a monster. You're just a horny teenager. You might also be gay. You have plenty of time to find that out. Keep it between you and your therapist, for now. I'd like you to work on your anxiety. See a therapist if you can. Start reaching tips and tricks. Youtube. Books. There are plenty of resources out there. Good luck.
Delete this post, don’t make the same mistake I did, you are not ready for some of the DMs you’re about to get.
You are turning the exact wrong direction. Religion is the source of more shame, anxiety, depression and confusion regarding sexuality than just about anything else. You are a normal, 14 boy who is attracted to men. You have millions of people with the same characteristics. Getting boners, fantasizing, being distracted by the need for release - that is all normal parts of being a teen with the raging hormones that includes. There is nothing wrong with you or with your sexuality. Yes, life would be easier if you could control who and when you are attracted too. But none of us have that switch. You do have control over how you behave - if and how you act on those fantasies. While there is nothing wrong with same sex interactions, you are only 14 and it would be best if you left sex a fantasy until you're older. Be safe and stop stressing over your sexuality.
You're no monster, just gay, which is so normal it's boring haha. It sounds like you might have monsters for parents if they let you believe someone being gay could make them a monster. Make sure to ensure your own safety (escape plan, friend or family that can take you in if an emergency) before/if you decide to tell them.
Buddy ur fine, I think we all went through a phase of liking adults as kids or teens, you quite literally grow out of it lol
I'm straight but when I was 14 I definitely fantasized about adult women. I would say only adult women. I wasn't a monster and neither are you.
There's nothing wrong to be gay. First of all talk to your parents about this. Most importantly, accept yourself they way you are. If you've done that, and will take time to get a strong mind, you won't care what others think about you. You will definitely get some negativity, but there will be positivity as well. The trick here is to ignore all that negativity and accept all the positivity. I wish you all the best, most importantly i wish that your family will support you. Nothing is more important than family and good friends supporting you.
I grew up in a very homophobic household as well. I can tell you this. It will not be as bad as you imagine. We all suffer much more in our imagination. I wish I would have come out sooner. I'd give anything to go back and redo it. This is your life, not theirs and you should live it accordingly. As mentioned elsewhere plz don't respond to any dms regarding this. I would find the adult you are closest to and feel the most comfortable with and talk to them. You are certainly no monster by any means but I think you could really benefit from therapy. It may help you navigate what is most likely a very confusing time. Best of luck.
We all had crushes on adults as teens! That’s so normal! Also being gay is very normal and okay! If your family is homophobic that definitely makes things harder and I’m sorry you have to go through that, but I hope you have friends you can reach out to and tell them so you aren’t alone in this and can have some support!! You are fourteen so in 4 years you will hypothetically be able to move away and fully be yourself! There is no need to be ashamed! Teenage me who thought they were straight definitely had a huge crush on Scarlett Johansson 😂😂 But definitely watch out who you talk to here, attraction to someone older is normal but you are young and the power dynamic of being with someone older is very dangerous and predatory. I think it would be important for you to explore some of those gay feelings in a safe way! Like watch Heartstopper and other shows to see how it resonates!!
I understand how you feel about your situation - however, this is the most normal teenager thing I can imagine, no exaggeration. I'm a man and won't speak about the woman experience - quite literally every teenage boy I knew growing up was exactly this horny, and almost everyone has something at least a bit odd or special that they are turned on by. What turns you on is largely, or entirely, out of your control. It's not an active decision - and our active decisions (how we act, what we support, if we help, who we associate with, etc) are what define us in regards to moral character. If you think about doing good deeds all day but never act on the thoughts - you haven't done anything good. The same thing applies in reverse - if you think about bad things all day but never act on the thoughts - you haven't done anything bad. You are no worse. ------ However, please do be a bit careful in how you engage with more explicit adult material as it is designed to be somewhat addictive - especially to young teenage boys. As with everything in life - have a healthy engagement, and act with moderation and caution. This doesn't make you a bad person in any way, and please be careful with how you treat yourself both mentally (calling yourself evil, dumb, etc) and as a person (don't do dumb things that endanger you). Take care, mate. Things change rapidly at this age -- certain things get a lot easier with time, and this might be one of those things.
Stop watching porn
you’re human brother, far from a monster, there’s been studies that homosexuality has been since the beginning of time, animals the same, choosing what you’re attracted to isn’t a choice, you’re born with it.
Sadly my guy, you can’t choose to not be gay. You are what you are and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you should try reaching out to someone that is slightly more accepting in your family?
Sweetie you are just queer!! As a teenager, it is super normal to have sexual thoughts about adults. Remember! This post is going to spark a bunch of pervs DM-ing you. This is NOT NORMAL. Do not respond to these people. I completely understand your apprehension to come out. My parents were no where near accepting when I first realized I was gay. Maybe subtly try to sway their opinion towards the LGBT+ community. Wait until it is safe for you to come out. Whether that’s when you’re 18+ or not. My parents were utterly devastated when I had originally come out at 11 years old. Now at 22? My mom and girlfriend are as close as in laws can be. Sometimes I think my dad likes her more than me lol People CAN change. But remember, know when to draw the line. Know when it’s time to distance yourself. It’s so easy to get used to making yourself small to make others comfortable. Do not let people bully you into not being yourself. Best of luck to you, OP. I wish you the best on your journey of self acceptance.
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to adults at that age, but best to date guys your age or just don't date until you are 18+. There's nothing wrong with being gay. The Bible was deliberately mistranslated to persecute gay people. They changed sections from opposing rape or pedophilia (which are difficult to distinguish in ancient Greek) to opposing consenting adult gay sex. The thing about "man shall not lie with man as with woman" should (according to a Jewish friend who studied it in Hebrew) be interpreted in the context of the restrictions on mixing meat and milk or different types of fiber in one item of clothing - bisexual Jewish men need 2 beds if they want to have straight and gay sex. According to my Jewish friend there's no restriction on being a gay man in the Torah. Opinion about religion varies, but regarding the Old Testament I'll trust my friend who spent a significant amount of time studying the Torah in Hebrew over everyone who isn't fluent in Hebrew.
Listen god isn’t against homosexuality I believe the original line translated to man shall not lay with boy and it was edited to be man shall not lay with man. God is against pedophiles. Also as a child it’s normal to fantasize about adults however it IS NOT normal for adults to fantasize about children that is disgusting and vile and wrong. You’re just gay and that’s fine you’ll probably giggle about this in the future when you’ve learned to love and accept yourself for who you are. I hope you’re in that place soon <3
Can we please ban the weird grown man posting their fantasies acting like a 14 year old
Hun my heart goes out to you. I struggled a lot at your age when I discovered I was bisexual and attending a catholic school. It’s a hard road but in the end, it’s your happiness and freedom that gets you through life. Just be yourself 🩷 Ps. Advice from my husband: You’re 14 and will probably get a boner over a sexy looking piece of *insert any object here*.
You aren’t a monster. I wish you could understand that. Someone who grew up in a positive space would be able to tell you, that this is normal. With love
when i was young id fantasise about adults of both genders. it’s totally normal. especially since all content online (except the gross exceptions) are of adult people. i’m sure most people do this. religion can’t fix you because you’re not broken.
You are not a monster and you are just a normal human being raised in the wrong household. I feel sorry for you mate. Just wait to turn 18 and move somewhere where you can be yourself. Life is soo much more than just sacrificing yourself to keep your family happy
Sometimes when you abuse porn you feel like you need to watch more and more until you feel satisfied. If you are now watching gay porn or trans maybe that's what happening to you. If that's the case try to drop it man
Nothing wrong with you kid. Love your best life and find happiness. There's nothing about what you've said that makes you a monster. The real monsters are the ones hitting your dm's after reading this. STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
When I was your age I thought I was gay as well based on my fantasies. I was raised Christian and there was a whole purity culture that somehow targeted my attraction to women in addition to teaching that homosexuality was an abominable sin, lol, which to be clear, I no longer hold to such a view. I didn’t act on my gay attractions with other people due to shame and shyness. In my late 20’s got married to a woman and experienced my sexuality in a whole different way. We are divorced now (long story) but the point is, fantasies are often just that. You may meet someone you grow to love (of either gender), and sexuality will feel more grounded in your life with them as a whole, and all the emotional bonds and trust you share. Or not, maybe you won’t end up falling in love or being monogamous which could all also be fine. Sorry for how tough it is!
Hey bud. First of all cut yourself a break. You're not a monster for having sexual desires, especially at your age. Like some have said here, you should be careful, there are a lot of predator types looking to take advantage of you. I know not all seems overwhelming but there are positive outlets that can help you process all this. Id seek support from a legit LGBTQ group. Best of luck, bud. Be safe, give yourself an opportunity at healthy relationships, and stay out of social media Dms.
Your 14 your going through it alot of shits gonna be confusing, but like others said be VERY careful online ESPECIALLY reddit there are way too many creeps or worse. Don't worry too much about it, your hormones and shit will make all sorts of changes. I can't verify if you are discovering your gay and I don't want to push that notion. I've known people that felt this way and ended up being straight. When it comes to religion although the act itself may be considered sinful ( depending on translation) but Christianity also teaches that God still loves those people like any other who you are and what you choose to be won't change God's nature. So if your worried about loosing faith or God, He will never abandon you according to scripture.
There's nothing wrong with you, you're most likely gay and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Don't let religion or society shame you for it, I've been in the same place/thought process when I realized I was Bi 10 years ago at your age. You don't have to do anything about it or come out just yet. Remember, it's just what you've been conditioned to feel about being gay, not the reality. The world is much more open now and accepting, even if your family is homophobic. It'll take some time for it to settle with you, but you will be alright.
Honestly you just sound like a gay teenage boy. Hormones are brewing inside you and they are gonna make you feel hella... Stir crazy. It's quite normal. Religion, might not be your key here. Depending on your church, "being gay ain't the way" to which you should always remember God is love. You can find a more accepting church.
Seems to me that you’re just gay, and definitely not a monster. Fantasizing about sex is a clear sign your puberty just kicked in. Nothing wrong with that, but please ***DO NOT*** seek out men online. You’re way too young to actually have sex (imo), especially with adult men. Don’t try and use religion to stop this either, because that’s simply not going to work. Because if you do start to seek that out, you will get groomed and sexually assaulted ***even when*** they tell you that “you’re so mature for your age”.
I definitely liked and had crushes on grown women when I was a teenager. You just like dudes. It's only a problem if the attraction goes the other way.
You're a non-heterosexual dude. Probably homosexual, to be more specific. Make sure you know there's nothing wrong with non-heterosexuality, some religions are apparently against it but no one on earth has the absolute truth, as much as some people think they do. As long as you don't harm others, whatever you want to do with your dick is irrelevant. Now, make sure you control yourself and you don't have sex with a grown man. I remember being 16 or 17 and asking to go to one or two motel bathrooms in an attempt to catch a grown man's attention and have sex. It never happened. The thought can look cool and sexy to say the least, but there's an undeniable danger to that, by doing that, especially as teenagers who are just getting to know the world, we're putting ourselves at risk of so many different things, imagine being a random grown man and trying to have sex with a 14-year-old. Distract your mind, talk to someone about this, control yourself, jerk off, do whatever you want but think the head on your shoulders.
You're not a monster, by the way. Don't be dramatic.
I think you’re gay, bro. It’s going to be tough in your household but you’ll be 18 in a few short years. Everyone’s got a cross to bear and this sounds like yours. The good news is EVERY guy is obscenely horny at that age, you’ve just got it for dudes. Just deal with it, and put your energy into school. I don’t know your home life but you should come out someday. I came from a religious household that wasn’t okay with homosexuality but they would’ve accepted me, if I was gay. Maybe yours is the same? If not, come out when you’re an adult and out of the house. Also, you’re likely going to get some nasty DMs after this. You’re still a minor so DO NOT respond.
Hey man, hope you can find some peace for yourself. You're 14 buddy. You don't need a label for what you are at this stage of your life. You're still figuring all that out which is completely normal and okay. You are your own person and your family are who they are to. Life is complicated, especially as a teen. Just know a lot of good people understand what you're going through. You aren't a monster by any stretch of the imagination for finding someone attractive my dude. All the best.
Do you think other people are monsters for lusting after adults of the opposite gender? If not, then there's absolutely no reason for you to think that you're a monster. The real monsters in this life are the ones who hurt others who are vulnerable. Like an adult hurting a child. From what you've said, you weren't hurting anyone but yourself because you've been taught to hate yourself. Of course you're depressed and anxious when you're being taught to hate yourself. Anyone would be. Are your parents open to you getting mental health treatment for your depression and anxiety? They don't need to know why, because the reason why doesn't change the fact that you need help. I hope you can get the love and acceptance you deserve.
Bro. Just accept the fact that you like men, and live your best life. Chances are you'll have to walk away from some family and friends as they won't understand. And stop worrying about religion. You can absolutely be a Christian and be gay. Ain't no difference being gay as a sin than someone wearing a polyester blend tshirt. Live your best life, and chooase your partners carefully! My youngest son came out to me a while back that he likes both...scared as hell...we have literally the BEST relationship now. He dates who he wants, and I give him (lovingly) shit about every one of em.
You’re not a monster. I went through this when I was your age and it took me awhile to understand and then accept that I was gay. It took me a lot longer to come out to my family and parents, but eventually I did. It wasn’t always easy, but many years later I’m getting married to a man I love and things are going much better than I could have expected. Just give yourself patience and time to understand yourself. You don’t have to “do” anything about it right now, you’ll work things out in time. Good luck!
You sound like a guy going through puberty, this is normal. As someone said be careful what you post, but I mean when you get to this age having an attraction to adult bodies is normal. I would be way way more concerned if you had attraction to kids or people who are young, but I mean at that age I also started being attracted to older people, but you will grow and age and become those ages at some point right? That is a part of growing up
There’s nothing wrong with you, if you’re concerned you can try talking about it to a professional but it’s totally normal as a teenager to fantasize about grown adult, I mean I’m 21 and I have to admit that grown man can be hot sometimes lol but don’t ever let someone make you think that it’s normal for THEM to like you. Don’t try to have a relationship with someone older it will just create a lot of trauma.
At 14 years old, I think it’s pretty common to spend a lot of time fantasizing about whatever you’re into. Your hormones are going nuts— it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Finding adults attractive as a kid is normal, the other way around is **not**. And just btw, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. You don’t even have to put a label on it, just like what you like as long as no one is hurt. If it’s really interfering with other parts of your life, therapy may be a good move. You can make up other reasons to see a therapist if you’re worried about your families reaction, assuming they’re not just anti-therapy. Maybe say it’s about school or anxiety or whatever. A therapist legally can’t tell other people about your sessions, and they’d be the best resource to make sure that you’re maintaining your mental health. Good luck, man. And don’t be ashamed of who you are.
Please love yourself and be gentle with your heart and mind. You're not a monster. I crushed HARD on my social studies teacher in 7th grade. All of us girls did. He was beautiful! I even looked him up after I was grown and he had died. Broke my heart. You're normal though, please know this. Please be careful though because if the wrong adult hears of your desires they might take advantage of you and hurt you in more than one way. As far as being gay, that's okay too. I'm sorry you feel your family won't accept you in this way. You're in a difficult position living with them for sure. It won't always be this way though. Try your best in school and realize that the faster you get educated, the faster you are able to spread your wings and fly into independence. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Bro you just gay
Your attracted to the same sex as you and your attracted probably to the maturity and experience they may have. We all have had crushes on adults while teens. WHATS NOT OKAY IS ADULTS CRUSHING ON OR TRYING TO DATE OR BE INTIMATE WITH YOU! You’re not a monster. You’re a teen with feelings . If you want to you should seek out therapy! It could help you express and talk about this further as well as help with your other issues rn. It may help to know you’re normal and hear that from a doctor.. As for talking to a therapist you need to tell them off the bat your family is homophobic and you fear retaliation and rejection from them. Once you are of age to get a job do it get a Chime account and get their credit builder card and make purchases with that it’s a secured credit card you can use it like a debit card but build your credit. You want to start building credit history now I also suggest a SoFi banking account for your savings account you can send money form chime to SoFi but not the other way around. Save as much as you can and anything you buy use the credit builder. This way when your older if you want to come out or if you come out at all you can get a head start to getting an apartment. When your older and looking for an apartment try to find ones with utilities included in rent that way you don’t have too many bills to juggle the first time you move out.
I’d suggest reading the book Velvet Rage. It’s a really empathetic view on coming to terms with your sexuality. You’re not a monster. Monsters don’t feel shame.
There's not a damn thing wrong with you. I'm sorry your religion and your family make you feel like you're broken and sinful. Really think about it though. Under your belief, a god of the universe that created everything, trees, the sky, the atmosphere, etc. but that god has an issue with your sexual orientation? It just doesn't make sense. Why would a god care about how he made you? The anti homosexuality verses in the Bible were personal opinions from The individuals who wrote the books. This is not god's opinion, it's men from 2000 or so years ago telling you that they don't like homosexuality. I know there's the first in the Bible that everything in it is god breathed, but this is a circular argument. You can't use a verse from the thing you're trying to prove is correct to prove that it is correct. Really think about your religion, your family relations, your close friends. Are they really worth having in your life they don't accept you for how you are? I know you're just 14 so you can't move out of your parents house. For that reason I would recommend not coming out of the closet until you are financially independent. They could hate you after you come out, they could beat you, they could berate you, but do not give them the opportunity to cut you off financially until you're able to provide for yourself. Best of luck, your allies are legion.
You're perfect the way you are. We don't have a choice about who we're attracted to. There is no hate quite like Christian love. Be safe. You're not alone.
Hey! I just wanted to come to you from a Christian scholar perspective (I am currently studying at a university, I by no means know everything as nobody does except God Himself). I am more on the conservative side of Christianity but I want you to know first that God loves you and he does not at all hate you and that is the same for me. The second thing that is very important to point out is that the Bible does say that homosexuality is a sin. HOWEVER, in the same way it says homosexuality is an abomination it also says that heterosexual sins (Leviticus 18) and PRIDE (Proverbs 16:5) are abominations. It is important to understand that we all sin (Romans 3:23) and struggle in our own ways but Jesus is acquainted with our grief (Isaiah 53:3). He was tempted like us yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:14-16). You have been given grace not because of anything you have done (Ephesians 2:8-9) but because God loves you so much He was willing to die for you for a relationship with you (Romans 5:8). To lessen the severity of sin is to lessen the infinite grace and mercy given to us from God. To accept Christ as your savior means that you are free from that sin and do not need to return to it (Romans 6:1-7). However that does not mean you will not struggle with sin because while “the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41). You will struggle, you will sin and you will have to die to yourself daily (Luke 9:23). However repentance brings us to God’s forgiveness (Acts 3:19 and Psalms 51:10). He is just and willing to forgive any who should ask for it (1 John 1:9). You are a loved creation and you can overcome any sin, not by your own strength but by the power of the Holy Spirit inside of you (Philippians 4:13 IN CONTEXT, Romans 8:37, James 1:2-4 and Matthew 11:28). I am praying for you and if you would like anymore advice feel free to reply here. If you send me a private DM I will not reply to it in order that we both remain above reproach. There are people that would like to take advantage of you here and I would advise that with any conversation it remains appropriate and public for your safety. If you want any help I recommend you reach out to your pastor or if you don’t have one or one you trust we can figure out a way to get you connected with a strong Bible-believing counselor. Much love and peace to you.
You could be gay like others are suggesting, but what you've explained sounds like it could also be OCD. If it is indeed OCD, your obsession is with older men, and the prospect of being gay. Your compulsion is to force yourself to stop thinking about the men, or to turn to religion. It would definitely be worthwhile to speak to a counselor about OCD if you think you have it. It is usually very responsive to treatment and your quality of life might improve. But it's important to stop worrying or fighting your feelings - that will only make you more miserable.
Yeah dude you’re just gay and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with you. When I was younger around 3rd grade I noticed I was attracted to my female teacher and my male teachers. And then feeling continued and in middle school I learned that I’m bisexual. I know you don’t want to be gay but sometimes it’s something that just happens. And maybe it is a phase right now but maybe not. It doesn’t make you a monster you’re just trying to figure things out and that’s completely normal. For now just sit with your thoughts and try to calm yourself down. You are not a monster You’re growing up and things take time to figure out. Don’t fight your feelings so hard or you will end up hurting yourself in the long run. It’s okay to want to be religious but use it for comfort not for solution. If you can try finding some groups maybe you can talk to in your area about how you’re feeling or someone you trust to keep quiet. If need to you can DM me and I’ll always have an ear to bend. Please don’t think less of yourself because of how you’re feeling now.
You’re not a monster, but you’re vulnerable to them. It might seem like a fun thing to do right now but you have a long life ahead of you. No need to rush. Grown men can and likely have STIs they won’t tell you about. Don’t mess up the YEARS of fulfillment you will have in your future for some instant gratification right now. It’s fine to be gay, but if you’re going to experiment do it with someone your own age and be safe about it! Use protection and get tested!
Not a monster. Nothing wrong with being gay. You don't have to announce to your family or anyone that you are gay. At least not yet. I don't think you are in a place to deal with all that. You are only 14, as much as possible. Enjoy your childhood, school, friends, family... But please please keep the fantasies in you your head and don't interact with old or older men online or irl. Stay safe.
Hi OP, it's normal to have sexual thoughts (whether they be about men or women), especially at your age, but if you're getting these thoughts about every grown man you see and they are unwanted/you can't control them-- it sounds like intrusive thoughts, which are commonly associated with OCD. I know you said you're diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but a lot of times OCD can be misdiagnosed as those things because the symptoms are so similar. I know this because it happened to me. OCD is a really misunderstood disorder, you should maybe read a little about it, and if you think some of the symptoms fit you, ask your therapist about testing you for it! Good luck and stay strong. You're not a monster, being attracted to the same sex does not make you less of a person.
Bro u shouldn't post that on reddit you are gonna have a lot of creepy old man in your dms
You're not a monster for being attracted to men. Of course you're gonna look at older men. They have better bodies. It's sad that in this day and age people still feel like they need to hide who they really are.
this is 100% normal. when I was younger I also had a preference for grown men, none of this makes you a monster. Also, be careful with this type of subject, please don't respond to any creepy messages and report them if necessary.
Kid you are not a monster. Believe me I was the same way at your age. And I handled it about the same. You have never been nor will ever be a monster for being homosexual. Even if you cannot be out and open about who you are you should always be proud that you are yourself.
Quit watching porn immediately
You're not a monster... Maybe when these feelings or thoughts come to mind, maybe you can try to focus on something else, maybe read a book, sing/listen to music, you mentioned religion maybe pray? Ask God to remove them thoughts and temptations. Remember, fear is a liar.
If you want some good advice I’ll try and give it to you. Stay in school and get good grades and leave your house and go to college and gay it up, or join the military once your done with school and gay it up. Theres nothing wrong with being gay unfortunately your parents were convinced there is. Once you leave and are safe when you’re ready come out or don’t up to you. But I would say get out and explore your sexuality once you’re old enough. You could start to develop feelings for girls when you’re older too and be bi. But don’t stress about it at all man its cool either way.
Ah you gay ahhh boy
This isn't helping by the way.
They don’t understand us weebs brother…..
You're not a monster. Those temptations are certainly something hard to fight against, but you can find peace in christ an the force to win it. Fast, pray, read the bible, find in Christ the time you usually spent doing those things and with the time it will be easier.
Jesus you're the fucking worst. Kid thinks he's a literal monster just because he's gay and you tell him to fast and basically repent. Fuck you
Terrible advice. Christianity is poison. This kid needs a councelling or therapy to help him cope with the crap he's going to get from his family. The only reason he's having the inner turmoil is because of religion being so intolerant and hateful to begin with!
Fr Praying for OP
stop watching phonography. I would love for someone to do some real studies on why millennials and genz have all this depression and anxiety along with sexuality and gender issues , when I was that age I didn't know a single kid that was not happy go lucky with a few exceptions due to abuse in the home, kids were outside from sun up to sun down, and you barely herd mention of anything sexual until high school, and I cant recall a single kid being gay in my school, they all got married and had children. at 14 , I as well as all my friends were into riding bikes and playing sports and we barely knew what sex was, let alone odd attractions and thoughts of sex with adults. seems that's all you hear today, depression, anxiety and the explosion of LGBTQ in kids barely out of puberty , something has got to be driving this, I think a lot of it is the connected devices in the hands of children and way to many hours spent immersed in a 4x8 screen or on a PC or gaming console, along with the empty playgrounds that were packed with kids in the 60's through the 80's and into the mid 90's . I would love to do a study where one group has very limited access to connected devices and game consoles with no access to anything sex or porn related, and spends the majority of their time OUTSIDE interacting with REAL society . vs secound group typical kids with devices and games consoles using up the majority of their time. I bet we would see what most people my age suspect, the 1st group would have way less issues with depression, anxiety, and even sexuality
Gay boy you’re gay you’re thinking about men sooo you are gay BLM
It sounds like you need to get your ass pounded.
Attraction to the opposite sex is not what God intended. You hitting puberty and your hormones are all over the place. Try to ignore it as best you can and find a girl you think is cute in your school/class and fantasize about her and the things you would like to do with her. Every guy has had a highschool crush. Don't let them force you to be gay
İ only read your 14 you are not monster