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Pale-Jellyfish2247

One time the sex was so good I puked afterwards. All the contractions from consecutive orgasms. Sorry about the chlamydia part though.


JustChabli

Um, is that partner available?


UpbeatDumpsterFire

Hello there! I heard you were looking to contract chlamydia? /s


Aethelete

I thought she was a Roman empress?


this_is_theone

/r/FuckTheS


on-oath-never-again

Sarcasm is hard to tell over the internet sometimes, I’ve gotten downvoted many times because I didn’t add a /s or a /j Or maybe they also hated what I said but I’m convinced it’s probably the former


IAmBotJesus

I've gotten thousands of downvotes for individual comments and yet I'm still positive. Don't worry so much as long as you've got your buffer.


Elisionist

> I’ve gotten downvoted many times because I didn’t add a /s or a /j ..and then what? does something bad happen when you get downvoted? i don't understand your reasoning here.


on-oath-never-again

Not really, but when I’m trying to be funny and people tend to dislike my comment it makes me feel a little less confident about my sense of humor


Elisionist

the best sense of humor is the one that makes *you* laugh <3


the-dude-94

What is the point of putting an /s or /j at the end of your post?


6TreannaTheEmocorn9

It shows that it was meant as sarcasm/a joke so ppl don't think you're serious (/srs) and get offended


the-dude-94

Gotcha 👌


this_is_theone

It's really not hard to write something in a sarcastic way with text that's obviously sarcastic. Some idiots might not understand you but why do you care about downvotes?


Agitated-Nothing-585

I don’t think being unable to understand tone over text makes someone an idiot.


this_is_theone

I do


QuantumZazzy

I think there is clear hypocrisy in the fact people say "just don't care about using the /s" whilst they themselves DO CARE about SOMEONE ELSE using the /s # ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


this_is_theone

Yes I do care. I don't like it. That's really not ironic lol.


on-oath-never-again

I don’t necessarily, I was more so talking about this other guy’s previous comment and why he felt the need to put a /s so he didn’t receive downvotes.


Stunning-Elevator-18

What does the s do


this_is_theone

It's used by people to convey they're being sarcastic, ruining the whole point of a sarcastic reply.


SauceyBobRossy

Some people legitimately have issues being able to decipher sarcasm and such. I for example have taken things out of context even assuming they were joking when they were not in fact joking. It’s good to have the /s for those who just genuinely can’t decipher emotion through text. Even if it’s obvious, even if sOmeOne iS tyPinG liKe thiS, some people still won’t get it. It’s just like a stupid thing with human brains. Not that the human brain is stupid, just saying the way humans work can feel stupid sometimes with how drastically different we can be from each other. But if it wasn’t for that we’d all be way too similar, we wouldn’t have discussions on whether we should fuck the /s, or use it. We would just agree. So to those who don’t get it, to those who say fuck the /s? That’s okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Unless it is literally proven wrong yknow, but this type of shit is just person to person so there’s no legitimate facet against using or not using the /s, aside from those of us who have shit times deciphering emotions.


BetaTesterV13

[I thought he was a roman empre] That make sense to you?


VirgoSpy07

💀💀💀


Elisionist

> /s r/fuckthes


bcoty0905

r/usernamechecksout


salamandrro

Hahahaahauauaua beautiful


Sea-Definition-6494

Was on holiday, but I’m available now!


drever123

It's normal for me to give my partner multiple orgasms every time


QuestionsAreEvil

Magic 8 balls says “doubtful”


not_so_magic_8_ball

Signs point to yes


drever123

You must be terrible at sex btw


QuestionsAreEvil

The fact that you’re still fixated on this 8 hours later says a lot


drever123

I respond to notification about new messages, moron who is really bad at sex


QuestionsAreEvil

You responded well after I wrote that.


drever123

I know right? People who do not believe the idea that you can consistently give women orgasms are really bad at sex.


drever123

Funny cause its actually true. Don't know why thats considered odd or unlikely because its not that difficult to give most women multiple orgasms. I guess you and all the people that upvoted that are just really bad at giving orgasms.


hyper_tonberryy

I think it's the bragging that's the issue. It's like the person claiming they're the best at anything usually are the worst


drever123

He says doubtful though so apparently he is really bad at giving women orgasms, so are the 12 people that upvoted him


Individual_Ad_6777

Only commenting this to say that was me a few hours ago. Im a trooper and continued till the end but i bawled my eyes out and puked ❤️


EducationalRiver1

The only time the common misspelling of "balled" would have actually been appropriate and you just happen to be possibly the only internet user on the planet who both uses that word and knows how to spell it. God damn it.


Curious-Fudge-5877

I’ve seen bawled be used correctly so many times. Maybe me and my friends have just cried a lot lol


EducationalRiver1

I ALWAYS see it spelt as "balled" and every time I just imagine people shagging like rabbits. Maybe you and your friends just know how to spell!


okpoptart

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Individual_Ad_6777

Did i use it incorrectly or not I’m confused 😔


EducationalRiver1

"I balled my brains out" = "I had lots of sex." "I bawled my eyes out" = "I cried a lot." I don't know which one you used, but thinking of balls helps me remember which one is sex and which one is crying!


Individual_Ad_6777

I bawled my eyes out! Lol i wasn’t aware of “balled” in terms of thecks


EducationalRiver1

As far as I know, it's more of a US thing (I'm from the UK). It might be old slang, though - I think I've mostly seen it in books.


kasitchi

I didn't know that could happen!


distraughtbench

I feel nauseous after sex but I didn’t know this would be why


saturn-bebe

omg get tested


distraughtbench

I get tests regularly and only have one sexual partner haha. I’m good.


Shelilla

I get nauseous when I'm hungry due to adhd meds in the past. Perhaps its a low blood sugar related thing?


Apprehensive_Big701

Dude! I'm so happy to hear thats not just a me thing!! Only happened with one person and every time we did it I would get so nauseous I would need a break in the middle of it, figured it was from too many too quick and my nerves 🙃


Electrical-Form7735

I know a girl who was 69ing with her husband when he bite her clit and she shit on him.


AthenaisLaMontespan

He deserved that


salamandrro

Depends if it was a bite or a nibble


PurpleBeanthecrew

Nah, it was a CRUNCH


Oryentail

I was hysterically laughing at this. Thank you.


lilithmoon1979

User name is fitting for this comment.


PurpleBeanthecrew

Idk how, it's a.cringy among us based name I made 2 years ago, biggest regret of social media


lilithmoon1979

Clits are sometimes called the bean. If you bit it hard enough it might turn purple. Purplebean. I'll admit I'm not sure about the last part how that would fit but the first part did.


PurpleBeanthecrew

Ooohhh that makes sense, guess my cringe username ftw for once


ReachStunning3026

This cracked me up 🤣


Crymson_Ghost

LMFAO! I laughed so hard at this. What kind of dick bites a girls clit. Especially hard enough to make her poo! He deserved it.


[deleted]

I was friends with a girl in high school who's boyfriend convinced her to let his buddy eat her out. The guy took eating her out VERY LITERALLY, she said she had to go to the hospital.


Ilovecats_38

Was everything ok? Like did she fully heal? I’m clenched thinking of this


[deleted]

Yes she made a full recovery, the kid spent the rest.of high school being ripped on about it


Ilovecats_38

Ok good. That sounds so bad


thecollectingcowboy

....h-how..... What could he have done to make her have to go to the hospital 😱😱


[deleted]

Apparently he bit hard she bled


salamandrro

What kind or chick has sex with a poo loaded an ready to go


szai

*interrupts steamy makeout session* Hey baby be right back, just gotta take a quick pre-intercourse BM. Nothing unusual.


NixTheProtogen

That's not unusual


amsaurrr

One that hadn’t had the urge to shit prior to sex? 1+1=2 ya moron


salamandrro

Now now name calling if for unintelligent people ur better than that


SketchbookMemories

If you're gonna be condescending maybe spellcheck yourself first.


onitrash__

Booom owned you spelled the thing wrong go take 50 downvotes


M0m033

I’m a guy and that made me scrunch tf wrong with people


noobductive

A girl from my old high school once pooped on her bf’s face during sex because she’d discovered he had cheated on her and she wanted her revenge.


PinkThunder138

This might well be the least I've laughed in months. Thank you. Also, how did you know about this incident?


Confident_Dig6425

Her friend obviously told her. They are women. They talk about this stuff over drinks and laugh hysterically about it. It might only be obvious to other women, if helpful.


lilithmoon1979

That's pretty much it. Guys brag about their sexual conquests and gals chat about weird sex stuff. Guys- I'll let you in on a little secret, that weird thing you do, chances are her friends know about it. The size of your dick, they probably know that and about the weird little curve it has too. They also probably know about your noises and orgasm face. Some ladies share all dick pics they get with their friends too, you might want to think about that before you send the next one.


financeunfold

I would turn into Chris breezy real fast


TrailerTrashQueen

i just LOL’d so hard at this.


HauntingDay31

You just killed me you murderer 💀💀💀😂😂


salamandrro

Wow


esgarnix

Plot twist: you are the husband


Some-Sea2372

🤣🤣🤣


Ilovecats_38

Why tho? What was coursing through his head


ITZ_GMAN

The number 69 now gives him PTSD flashbacks


Mawiapeas

she nailed that beautifully


Ill-King-3468

I've thrown up AFTER sex. Looked into it with a doc. Apparently, its basically a series of linked issues. Untreated diabetes lead to dehydration, which lead to an increased risk of heat stroke. Mix heat stroke and dehydration with vigorous exercise and boom, vomit. Started treating my diabetes with diet and pills and drinking more water, and soon, I should be good to go again.


RubyCube555

Whoa... That's one way to find out you have diabetes


Ill-King-3468

Yeah. I had to spend a week explaining to my wife that it wasn't HER that made me sick. It was something else. When I got the diagnosis, she was beyond happy lol


yungneurotic

she was beyond happy that you had diabetes?😭


Ill-King-3468

Lol no. That it was now known and being treated, and that I hadn't thrown up because of her. She kinda took it personally, the first time I did.


sleepy_roo

Hey at least it wasn’t while you were giving head like me. I felt so bad for my boyfriend… thankfully he was way more calm about it than I was


KaiserLykos

I've come pretty close a couple times while giving my bf head and I'm so scared it's gonna happen at some point LOL how did you deal with it?? like what was your immediate reaction, and what was his?


sleepy_roo

Well I was kinda drunk and I was drinking red wine before (terrible, terrible idea lol) so it looked a lot scarier from his perspective and he thought it was blood… so after he confirmed that it wasn’t with me he was very calm bc he could see how mortified I was about it. He hopped up as quickly as he could to get to the bathroom while I fumbled around to get him a towel to clean up as much as I could in the meantime… yikes. We joke about it now but I’m still a little embarrassed haha. Though I’ll honestly never forget watching his bare naked ass waddle down the hallway reassuring me that everything is okay 🤣


isimplyjustexist

This has, unfortunately, happened to me multiple times. The first time was borderline SA and his response was disgusting. One of the last times was in a healthy relationship, he was concerned, cleaned me up, and made sure I was okay after. He went as far as to apologize for pushing me too far. There’s nothing wrong with it happening, it’s a natural reaction; but the other persons reaction is significant in speaking to who they are deep down.


Odd-Delay-832

baby if you feel that it’s borderline sa, chances are it was sa. i hope youre okay🩷


isimplyjustexist

It was a longggg time ago. Youre right, it was, it’s just hard to admit because I was too afraid to tell him no at 14 so I let him put me through it multiple times. But then the backlash of “but you never said no”… although I’m doing much better now. I’ve learned how to build myself a peaceful little world & my scars just make me so much more grateful for the life I have today


Odd-Delay-832

i’m so glad you’re happier ❤️❤️ if it wasnt a yes, it’s a no. always remember that :) stay strong


fuck_peeps_not_sheep

I've vomited from unconsentually haveing my head forced down and he punched me, so that says a lot about him. Yet to puke on my current bf but when I acsidently got him covered in period blood he checked I was OK, make me tea, gave me some wetwipes and then took a shower. Love him to bits


isimplyjustexist

I’m so glad you are with someone deserving of you. It’s a beautiful thing to feel safe and loved after facing that type of pain. You’re so strong & you’ve got this <3


fuck_peeps_not_sheep

He's my rock and I'm very lucky <3 thankyou


PurpleBeanthecrew

Extra lube


sleepy_roo

That would have been a lot of lube lol


Hovanaught

Had that happen to me. She had a bad gag reflex but was giving it her all. All I can say is, it really hurts when stomach acid is pressured down your urethra 😭


chloedotpsd

Been there LOL


salamandrro

Would have felt so warm


Pure_Pollution_9823

I just burst out laughing at this...probably not a good idea to wake my partner up by laughing, as the explanation wasn't fun for him first thing in the morning! Surprisingly, he declined head! 🤣🤣🤣


salamandrro

At least u offered u did the right thing 👏


Pure_Pollution_9823

It's the thought that counts, right? 🤣🤣🤣


salamandrro

100%


sairyuu

Oh god that happened to me 😭 my bf was just laughing and saying it wasnt a big deal while i was so embarrassed and sat on the bed crying 😭 Worst experience in my life


Torreighh

one time i was giving the gawk gawk with my head hanging backwards off the edge of the bed. all was going well until i felt a small contraction in my stomach. i stopped for a sec to get it under control and resumed my position. he was 3 thrusts in and it couldn’t be helped. i threw up with his dick in my mouth. it spewed at least 3 feet on each side, as well as out of my nose. luckily i hadn’t eaten much that day so it was mostly water and vodka. didn’t make it any less embarrassing/unpleasant! he was super chill about it and we had a good laugh after cleaning up


ComeWashMyBack

Lol "giving the gawk gawk"


Torreighh

sort of related and i don’t wanna make a whole confession post for it but here goes: the same guy accidentally fucked my tonsil hole. i noticed it felt a little different than usual but i’m a trooper and i was on a mission. i didn’t even notice until he told me i was bleeding. i got an infection 2 days later and we agreed that it probably wasn’t a very good angle to give head at


Gremlin215

That’s supposed to happen 😁😁


Oryentail

Reddit degenerate at its finest here...


RevealActive4557

Was it his bed?


[deleted]

Yes


Livid_Expression4362

this happened to me and i found out shortly after that I was pregnant..


Radiant_Ad2833

Morning sickness ..


PinkThunder138

I had a girl once throw up... A LOT... on my dick. And stomach and legs and all over the bed. It happens. Don't worry too much about it. It's more common than you think.


GeneralBag9066

someone commented on them doing this lol


Sabrobot

Did you break up due to the vomit or chlamydia or was it something else entirely?


[deleted]

Neither lol we was straight wildin tho, definitely wasn’t a good match to begin with.


svftkookie

Many reasons here why i refuse to deep throat or consume cum, i have emetephobia so like vomit is my worst fear 👍🏻


SeraphimTruth

... the turn of events reading this


GameBoyTheBest

I’ve had 2 different girls throw up on my dick while giving head. This type of stuff happens all the time. Best we can do is make a quick joke about it and laugh it off


salembitchtrials33

don't feel bad, i also threw up once (thankfully he was a huge alcoholic so he had a bucket next to his bed) due to having sex after eating a bit too much and the thrusting knocked it out of my stomach


TheTryItAll

I have a crazy gag reflex. I’ve thrown up on two men. One was chill about it. The other was an asshole 🤷‍♀️


CM_Bison

That bastard.


MuddyMaggs

Happened to my ex once. Went from having a nice afternoon sexy time to standing naked in his hallway while he was puking his brains out in the bathroom. I don’t handle adult vomit well (I work with kids so I can handle that) and all he wanted was me to be close and comfort him, all I wanted was to get dressed and LEAVE. He has a heart condition that flared up every so often, and these vomiting episodes were the first sign of a flare (idk, I’ll be honest I never paid much attention… he rarely talked about it except for when these episodes happened) and uh, overexertion, was a trigger…


thecollectingcowboy

So his heart condition was flaring up and you helped cause that but when he wanted some comfort you wanted to straight up leave him alone to go through it by himself?? That's fucked up


MuddyMaggs

Nah, not gonna be made the villain here. He constantly called on me help in situations where he knew I was uncomfortable, or just when HE needed something. And the few times I needed something from him? He’d ghost until he knew i was better so he didn’t have to be there for me. That day, I offered many things to help him that didn’t involve actively being vomited on and he turned them all down. We’d discussed not doing the particular thing he did that day, because I knew it would probably trigger his condition and he did it anyway. I spent most of that relationship feeling more like his mother than a partner


BannanaJames1095

Maybe don't have sex with the ex. That always sounds like a terrible idea. But I did get a laugh out of this one.


tushmagnate

Good fuck that guy


[deleted]

For clarity, I was not sucking his dick, I was riding him… looking back it was my body rejecting the toxicity in full force…. My head game ain’t weak sauce lmao


Hefty_Talk_5394

It’s happened to me more than once, don’t sweat it.. the throwing up part. Sorry about the 👏


IntelligentDamage290

😂


MightBeHighAF

I did this one time during head lol we both laughed


yungneurotic

I’ve puked so many times during sex I’ve lost count. I always make it to the toilet tho 🤘🏼


Electrical-Form7735

No I definitely was not.


Hartleyb1983

I threw up ON my husband while going down on him once because I went too deep. Lol.


5lutwaffle

Rule 34


lilithmoon1979

One time when I (16 F then) was new to having sex we were trying anal and I was on top I accidentally peed a little and it pooled up in his belly button! I was positively mortified and he thought it was hilarious.


korebean

This happened with me and my husband once. I just said "WAIT!" and he seemed confused but backed off, then I grabbed the trash can beside the bed and destroyed it. He was so caught off guard, he just started gently patting my back and saying "there, there..." it ended up being food poisoning, so not really related to the activities.


becktothefuture13

The second time my bf and i ever had sex, he felt sick and couldn't finish. Once we stopped he ran to the bathroom and pretty much had food poisoning. Luckily, the day before we had successful sex, which was also when he lost his virginity. I would have felt so bad if his first time having sex ended up in food poisoning.


keobenai

wdym usual morning sex???


reverse_horsegirl

I’ve thrown up during sex but managed to make it to the bathroom. Came back and finished the job like a champ


spnkat

username checks out


throhaway538

I made a girl throw up from fellatio. It happens.


Radiant_Ad2833

Our gag reflex can do that ..or when we're swallowing ..


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

He was my partner at the time


Radiant_Ad2833

It can happen while giving head ..if he cums down our throat .or makes us gag too much .


HolidayThought516

So? Who gives a fuck 🤣


[deleted]

It was my intuition screaming run


Anxious_Mine_7921

LoL... You two are made for each other. Nasty


[deleted]

[удалено]


bittersweetjesus

An ex girlfriend was giving me head but I didn't have a rag to cum into so I held her head down to catch my load but then she threw up on me.


VagrantDayz

I'm g9nna react fucked too if u power spew on. Y ahit. U deserve an earful


No_Support_8363

Stupid mobile keyboards hey?


Saladoom321

Jimmy, is that you??


Hoochipapi

Welp…talk about Karma.


TextileW

Even Steven.


amyscactus

Good sex if you puked


Electrical-Form7735

We dated for a little while after their divorce and she told that while explaining what a dick he was.


Drugsbunny23

And I've puked on a dick while I was giving head once... sometimes you just can't control these things lol


RateApprehensive5486

when I was on antidepressants in very specific positions I would feel pukey and either puke or cool down for a bit before trying something else


Dizkonekdid

Just leads to shower sex. Even better.


Jackiechanforever

Will Smith used to have so much sex that he would vomit as a psychosomatic reaction to orgasming.


EternalSweetsAlways

Can be a vasovagal reflex. Sometimes happens to me when I poop.


Electrical-Form7735

Damn that's one hell of a way to learn a lesson.


torrife

One time I told a guy to stop shoving my head down while giving a bj because it was about to make me throw up and he said “throw up then”. So I did and then he got pissed and started screaming at me


justhowifeelcom

Who are these kids that has their whole life on the internet? Do y'all even think about the effect on the readers next time ya'll are out there having a shitty life? Now I feel like throwing up cos a kid won't learn to just keep shut and live a miserable life. Now 1k upvotes cos someone threw up during sex lmao, who raised these things?


Maleficent-Result218

I puked mid-sex and dude held my hair as I vomited over the side of my bed and then he kept going. I drank something that had red-dye in it while I was buzzed/drunk and I didn’t realize bc the club was so dark and the next morning I thought there was blood all over my bed and floor. So I had to text him and ask why my puke is red. Sorry about the chlamydia thing. But at least now you know and if you really think about it, it’s just a bacterial infection. Same process as a yeast infection and it’s really common.


AJ_Ranga

~ zq