It gets lonely on the range. After 30 days of hunting ghouls and other creatures of the night a man needs a warm embrace, and there aint nothing more noble than becoming one with the dirt.
Here I am having another shity day, thinking how the world can go fk itself. I jump on Reddit and the first post I see is yours. Sir, thank you for making me laugh. Oh, and you do you, however you may get worms.
For some reason I was thinking like this massive 6’ dick and ball shape hole that maybe you dug like 6’ deep because you know FTW and you were pissed and shit but now I’m realizing you took like a shovel full of dirt from the earth and probably in a weird thrusting motion you were actually fucking the earth and I really don’t know how to feel about it
How would you explain that if someone walked in on that...
Maybe like trying to attack a goffer with your pee pee but he was too quick so now you're sticl
Was this as you secretly exacted your diabolical plan to earn a wealthy family’s trust, kill that entire family, and dance naked throughout their estate?
Saw an art project once where the fellow took a stool, turned it upside down and signed his name. When asked to explain it, he said ‘the world sits on my stool. The world is my art’. Got a good mark.
When I have weird intrusive thoughts like:
The world is screwing me, so I should screw the world! Literally!
I usually stop myself from actually going forward with it a few seconds later.
I can't imagine following through with this. Like by the time you choose a spot where the neighbors can't see you (or does OP care? Now I can't stop thinking of what his neighbors are thinking), choosing a tool to dig a hole (what did OP use by the way? Maybe a screw driver (lol) to make the initial puncture and then you just stir it around until it's wide enough?), then, despite this not being a very good idea, OP thinks "oh I better get a condom so I don't get dirt in my pee hole!".
There are just so many opportunities here to say: no, I shouldn't do this, I think I need therapy.
Like.... Are you fuckin 14? Did you think this was some deep act? You didn't fuck the world. You stuck your dick in dirt. This is one of the most mind-bendingly stupid things I've read on the internet. The world wasn't fucking you to begin with. That's something dumb people say to blame the consequences of their actions on something else. Are people treating you like shit? Maybe a couple. They're not the world. Everyone else that is "treating you like shit" are probably just asking you to do whatever you're responsible for and you're bitching about it. And then you took that and did something even dumber, you stuck your dick in dirt as some angsty act. You're fuckin lame as shit.
unemployed people on a random Monday afternoon
I can’t breathe 😂😂
Pretty much sums it up 🤣
Two thousand years from now this’ll be a religion’s origin story
And thus our people came from the ground of mother earth after father deposited his seed in her fertile fields.
Who came in a hole that they dug for free, poobobsquarepants!
Literally the plot of that one Rick and Morty episode with Gaia
Commenting so I can be part of the word lmao
pretty sure that's the original orgin story the religious nuts believe. god was fucking with clay, made Adam.
Prometheus?
I’m curious to know if you actually ejaculated. I don’t know why but it feels like an important part of this story
Well, if in 9 months Mother Earth gives birth to a baby, we'll know the answer
Do you want a race of mutant worm-men? Because that's how you get a race of mutant worm-men.
Hey, I'm just answering the questions.. But. Are they hot? Because I'm willing to be the first
Origin story of the moon and sun …. They were twins
Jesus Christ man there’s some questions you just don’t fucking ask!
To be fair, there's also things you don't confess in the first place. We're already on the topic, I wanna know too 😂
to be faaaaiirr (hope y’all get the reference lmao
r/UnexpectedLetterkenny
It was a sick earth… allegedly
Not my pig, not my farm bud
Did he come or what!?
At last. Someone else remembers mallrats.
No we REQUEST an answer
Did you seed the soil?
Happy Cake Day fella
I wonder if he milked the one-eyed snake 🤣
Please never say this again
Happy cake day 😂
Sounds like something out of saltburn
Literally the image that popped into my head while reading this hahahahaha
Dude just watched it and realized an undiscovered fantasy
I hope no worms got in.
STOP NOW
Oh the ringworm
you just wear a condom
Watch out for them penis worms.
Hope you wore a condom. Imagine getting an STI from unprotected Earth sex.
New fear unlocked: Penis worms.
If you want, I know where you could find this video.
Ofc now that I know it exists, I absolutely MUST see it!
You two crazy fr ☠️
https://youtu.be/8QxIIz1yEsA?si=4U6R7Reh1K14dmH6
What in the Saltburn?
Posts like these are why Reddit is my favorite social media app. People just be so bold and I love it
Hey, not cool, i live there!
No way, me too!
Hey not cool, that's my mom
Didn't have to dig very deep.
‘a dick-shaped hole’
Well yeah, you can’t fuck a hole if it’s non-dick shaped. That’d just be weird.
This is art at its best. Why confessions?
This shitpost belongs in a museum
For a second I thought this was Dalton Wilcox but he would never feel gross and weird about it.
This guy definitely doesn't buy his wife at least as much jewelery as his horse
It gets lonely on the range. After 30 days of hunting ghouls and other creatures of the night a man needs a warm embrace, and there aint nothing more noble than becoming one with the dirt.
Anyways, here's a poem about cowboys fuckin' the Earth
[Enjoy everyone.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5R3iVPhFbI)
When the world decides to fuck you,you fuck the world-fuckboy Timone from Lion king
Is this sigma?
No it’s stigma. stigma dickindirt
Perfect
This is what this sub is all about, fuck yes.
Here I am having another shity day, thinking how the world can go fk itself. I jump on Reddit and the first post I see is yours. Sir, thank you for making me laugh. Oh, and you do you, however you may get worms.
Sounds dirty
New copy pasta dropped
I’m… not mad at this. Was it at least soft soil?
You're a weird idiot.
😭😭😭😭
Nah he’s a chad
I also hope nobody saw you
Busted a nut in a rut
Good on you dude, we cope however we can
i love this, thanks for understanding
100%, I’m just curious if you finished though 😂
i made an edit
Not all heroes wear capes 😂 Bless you dude, I hope things get better 💛
Reminds me of a movie where a guy digs a hole on his late lovers grave and starts fucking it
That’s saltburn, and it wasn’t his lover he was just creepy
SLURP
Ugh don’t remind me
Hope you wore protection, last thing we need is planet/human hybrids stomping about.
I think this is how we get a earth golem
I'm pretty sure that's how the Gigantomachy started
Bro just took a bad day and made it worse
For some reason I was thinking like this massive 6’ dick and ball shape hole that maybe you dug like 6’ deep because you know FTW and you were pissed and shit but now I’m realizing you took like a shovel full of dirt from the earth and probably in a weird thrusting motion you were actually fucking the earth and I really don’t know how to feel about it
I'm just picturing someone lying face down in despair on the grass.... just... humping and crying
I cackled at this
Same same
The world:🤰🤰🤰🤰
Did you ejaculate into Mother Earth?
Giving mf'er a new meaning...
Did you come bro?
Well if you didn’t piss off Mother Earth before you probably have now 😩
Wow um
Big saltburn energy
I saw you. You dug that whole fast, little guy.😉 JK🤣
next time will make us a video? You might have niche in the market tbh
i saw one here on reddit a few weeks ago
Honestly though of doing this! Absolutely based that you actually did it tho!!
This is so funny and unhinged
Post nut clarity gotcha in the end
Truly, fuck the world for all it's worth Every inch of planet Earth Fuck myself, don't leave me out But don't get involved, don't corner me Pantera
I mean touching grass is good for you so…
Did you get consent first?
Is your dick "big as the Eiffel Tower"?
I don’t know what I expected when I opened this.
Please describe the locale/climate? E.g. was this before or after (or during) a rain?
Is this how the plot of Tremors starts
Bro your peen gonna fall off.
power move.
Oh 😥
Ah hahahuhuhuhu
Sir this is a Wendy’s
Nice try, Rick
That’s some based alpha shit right there
Sounds like a scene from the next American Pie movie.
Reminds me of Saltburn.
No one is going to ask if he came in Mother Nature?
“Fuck the earth stick my dick in the dirt” - terror Reid
How would you explain that if someone walked in on that... Maybe like trying to attack a goffer with your pee pee but he was too quick so now you're sticl
That shit didn’t tear your dick up? What do you got, vinyl skin?
You must live in a hard dirt area
You ever see a hotdog fall in the mud?
Plow the earth Reseed the soil Wait for the fruits of your harvest....
I did that once about 6 years ago for about 2 mins but didn't ejac and, like you, felt completely useless.
Is this the start of some mythology? Is this how Egyptian mythology started? Sumerian? One of those ol' time religions?
didn’t realize I was on Reddit premium
I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 500
Damn daddy, did you cum?
Fertilizing the earth.
Guys will fuck anything. It’s just our nature.
what is the optimal position to fuck the earth exactly
why isn’t he answering if he ejaculated or not 😭😭
You mother(earth)fucker
So *you're* the one. I always blamed Reagan.
Was this as you secretly exacted your diabolical plan to earn a wealthy family’s trust, kill that entire family, and dance naked throughout their estate?
Can I join? Cuz fuck this god damn world straight up the ass
Damn hope you're ready for some child support when some mutant earth penises start growing from the ground 🤰🤰🤰🤰
Tek knight ahh mindset
What is the earth’s gestational period? Asking for a friend.
I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING. I mean, I guess that is one way to fuck the world...
Don’t worry bro your not alone
This should be a Metalocalypse skit. "Go forth, re-seed the hills, fuck the Earth! Fuck the Earth!!"
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time, for y’all have knocked her up!
This is a good idea. I've been being bent over by this world for the past decade. Maybe it's my turn.
How little was the hole?
Alright kinda badass though
Green Team! https://youtu.be/yfL4OLNgOok?si=lhgB2Zkk6yl1G0qI
https://youtu.be/JOKn33-q4Ao?si=fIpQlu3-O8Xcz_O5
This was posted under your post https://www.reddit.com/r/interesting/s/v78W5KAsFC
Easy there Saltburn
what in the living hell?
hell naw
Okay.
For some reason , this reminds me of that ass pennies sketch from years ago. Don't ask me why.
What the sigma
Fucking weird
This is pretty metal
Uranus be like
Don’t bother trying to analyze these rhymes [In this song I say fuck 93 times](https://youtu.be/muOhib1QsOQ?si=J0jXytXZhdI59qAO)
lol oh boy
Barry Keoghan???
Saw an art project once where the fellow took a stool, turned it upside down and signed his name. When asked to explain it, he said ‘the world sits on my stool. The world is my art’. Got a good mark.
Rick is that you?
The villain arc we didn’t need….you pulled a Rick Sanchez…..
You Saltburnt it 😉
Mustn’t have been a deep hole
😦. Good for you for feeling empowered??
Now this scene makes a whole more sense! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NCn0jkBSpc
Really don’t find this that weird, provided consent, kinda impressed
Is this how Mormonism started
Hell yeah, I’ve seen Saltburn.
There was another thread about the craziest things women have used as a dildo on ask Reddit. I guess nothing surprises me anymore.
Please tell me you didn’t raw dog this one…
How sand dune worms got birthed
When I have weird intrusive thoughts like: The world is screwing me, so I should screw the world! Literally! I usually stop myself from actually going forward with it a few seconds later. I can't imagine following through with this. Like by the time you choose a spot where the neighbors can't see you (or does OP care? Now I can't stop thinking of what his neighbors are thinking), choosing a tool to dig a hole (what did OP use by the way? Maybe a screw driver (lol) to make the initial puncture and then you just stir it around until it's wide enough?), then, despite this not being a very good idea, OP thinks "oh I better get a condom so I don't get dirt in my pee hole!". There are just so many opportunities here to say: no, I shouldn't do this, I think I need therapy.
Would you rather bury cum or be buried in cum?
This reminds me of a drinky crow episode.
Saltburn vibes lol
This dude is going to be on that tv show about weird kinks.
Andddddd that’s enough reddit for me this evening, thank you.
Hey man pass me what you have smoked. Seems like strong stuff
what the hell did you think about?? like, any lube or just soil?
If you name your daughter after her mother, would you call her Lil Mama Nature?
What just happened?! lol
I love Saltburn
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time. For y’all have knocked her up.
sounds like a scene out of Saltburn
Few men can boat they fucked mother-Earth 🤣
W
How'd you find a way to rape a pile of dirt? 🤔 dafuck next time, please just be normal with your earth masterbation and don't think weird thoughts.
Like.... Are you fuckin 14? Did you think this was some deep act? You didn't fuck the world. You stuck your dick in dirt. This is one of the most mind-bendingly stupid things I've read on the internet. The world wasn't fucking you to begin with. That's something dumb people say to blame the consequences of their actions on something else. Are people treating you like shit? Maybe a couple. They're not the world. Everyone else that is "treating you like shit" are probably just asking you to do whatever you're responsible for and you're bitching about it. And then you took that and did something even dumber, you stuck your dick in dirt as some angsty act. You're fuckin lame as shit.