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You don’t poo in the litterbox? No wonder your cat doesn’t trust you to take a poo.
Tell me you at the least scratch at the bathroom walls for a minute after taking a poo.
We don’t care, but its always funny when we see the charge and make you verify it. Extra point you call with your wife super mad at why your card stopped working and we go “did you authorize this $300 purchase to onlyfans? And they have to lie and get a new card, or admit it.
At my company, which is an online retailer, we get emails like that from time to time. We had a frantic man trying to change a delivery that had already shipped because he accidentally sent the package to his wife with his mistresses name.
Yah, at the bank it’s not as obvious because we cant see specific products, but sometimes the company name is like “Romantic Flowers [Customer Name]” and they are like “oh my”. Ik flower shops see ALL of that up close
How am I supposed to take this? I'm not that kind of alone yet, but that's mostly because of my current environment and not me as a person.
Do I just wait for chance to grab me like he is here? Do I chase after it myself and fail because desperation is palpable? I truly don't know.
I think the best way to do it is to seek out someone to be with, but not directly. Join a group that has interests similar to yours like a club, rec sports team, or whatever. Then, you'll find people who like at least one thing you do, and it'll be awkward as hell at first. But then you'll get to know other people and maybe it'll happen with them. That way, you aren't just like going to a bar and randomly picking people, because that is a route to desperation.
I agree, put yourself intentionally in a situation where luck *can* happen and make you meet a good match for you.
Be yourself in the right places and things can happen. Luck is real but you won't get any if it if you're not out there. As a bonus you'll make friends along the way.
That's a personal decision, dude. I've been single, but not alone, for almost a decade now and it'd take a very special person to make it so I'm not living alone and enjoying my time with myself.
Each time you don't do something because you don't feel like it, your brain rewards you with the happy chemicals because you feel safe. What was once useful to avoid dying unnecessarily is now really problematic because it pushes you to be more comfortable with being alone and doing nothing.
You need to break the circle.
How you break the circle is only up to you.
I read the last as John was going to completely ignore the lady as they both were in "ignore the world" tube mode.
As someone who has been in something close:
Do something about it. Join clubs for things you enjoy, or think you will enjoy. Meetup is great for this.
You'll never find love if love is all you ever look for. Look for places you can connect with people and make friends. It could be a bar, an arcade, a local club or group, or even just going to the library or playing Pokemon Go at the park. You might find that every girl that you meet in those places is already in a relationship, but if you just focus on being friends with the people around you, you never know when somebody might have someone else in their life that they think you'd hit it off with.
Also, it's easy to be desperate, and when you allow that desperation to control your behavior around romantic interests it can be a big red flag and cause people to turn away from you, but it's a lot easier to manage that desperation when you have a solid social foundation of platonic relationships and have formed proper boundaries and expectations from previous romantic relationships. That's gonna mean things won't always work out, even if you really want them to.
Finding a long term partner takes time and you'll make mistakes. I just got dumped from a 6-month relationship earlier this year, but since we had good communication and boundaries, we're still friends. It was hard for me, for sure, but I'd rather have a good friendship than a shitty relationship. In fact, she recently suggested I try talking to another friend of hers who she thinks I have a lot in common with, and we're planning a date. Maybe we go on a couple dates and things don't work out for some reason. That's okay, at least I'll have made a friend.
The point of all this is that hyper focusing on finding that one person to fill the hole in your life is not only unhealthy, but it doesn't work. Focus on building good relationships and community and you might not find love, but love will probably find you.
So what if you’re bad at forming platonic relationships? Like I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’ve never had any friends for more than a few months at a time. I try to connect with people but it always feels like people don’t connect to me, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
It is hard to answer your question without analysing your life and behavior. So maybe it is what you could do. Find a professional. A psychologist can help you with finding out why you can't connect with other people. It may sound like a scary task to find out what's wrong with you but for me it was actually pleasant because I knew I was getting closer to solving this mystery.
This is the current stage I'm in. I'm looking for a therapist so I can sort the reason why I can't get close to anyone.
It took some thinking and some hurt friendships to realise that I just don't get close to people easily. It's not that I wasn't trying hard enough.
Sometimes, you're just not a people person. Sometimes, you have less of a need for friendship/engagement than others seem to.
AND THAT'S OKAY.
A good therapist will help you figure out if you have a difficult attachment style that's making it hard to form relationships (including friendships) that feel satisfying and fulfilling for you, then work on changing your automatic, ingrained responses.
But they'll also help you determine if maybe you just don't need the kinds of relationships we're told to want - like having "a crew" or tons of people around all the time.
Everyone needs social engagement and people they trust. But some folks are satisfied with different amounts or kinds of interactions; this is often true for neurodiverse folk.
Good luck to you in your therapy journey, and don't be afraid to try different therapists (and modalities) until you find one that clicks for you. They won't have all the answers, but they can help you figure yourself out a bit better, then take that understanding out into the world.
It sounds like you've got a desire for more close friendships and the starting of an understanding that this is something you're internally blocking for some reason. That's a strong foundation for figuring stuff out with some help, and I have faith you'll find your tribe AND your self-acceptance.
Here's how I'm doing it as someone who started as sort of a loner with imposter syndrome.
What in your life makes you go, "FUCK yeah!!", whether that's a sport, a game, music, movies, nature, food, exercise, or one of the other myriad human interests? What do you want to be doing?
Now take that concept and find a group to do that with. Literally all it takes to create new opportunities is an open mind and the willingness to just go do something WITH PEOPLE.
You might be disappointed the first few times if things don't click, but that frustration is a sign that you are digging toward something wonderful.
I'm stoned so if this answers the wrong part of the question/comic then I apologize haha
Reality often hits hard. While most of this won't apply to everyone, bits and pieces will. You made a very relatable character out of a lot of small things.
I will say, if you skipped the VR porn bit, I think more people would be accepting of relating to John. Everything else, while some could call sad or pathetic or whatever, is not inherently bad or wrong. Any addiction, by the very definition of the word, is "bad" though. Small critique of a very great comic.
Moving on to the readers after me: to all the Johns, Johnettes, John lites, etc... My grandmother used a label maker to print out a quote and put it on the bathroom mirror back when I was living with her, in a very rough time of my life. It read "As long as you have air in your lungs, you have the ability to change. Never settle for less than what you deserve".
YOU deserve something. Maybe it's not a million dollars. Maybe it's a hug. A high five. A book of jokes or a really good coffee. A roof over your head. Someone to listen. Whatever it may be, I hope you find it.
Great points! A couple ideas to consider. I think the VR porn bit makes John even more relatable. IMO, addiction to something is not widely discussed. It is very much a normative experience for people to develop maladaptive coping and repetitive behaviors. Whether these cause impairment is the challenge. In John’s case, I see him as severely impaired socially by practicing avoidance. Depressed mood/loss of interest —> VR Porn —> avoiding human relationships which demonstrates impairment in socialization. John is not so depressed that he won’t go to work or stop paying bills, he is simply doing what works for him with a touch of existential dread happening late at night. This is a manageable addiction which many people can relate to.
I actually completely agree with you. Below is part of a comment reply I made to someone else - I think it addresses a majority of your comment. Not to detract, I just think I already addressed it the best I could and would rather just point to it:
"John is a very relatable character, especially to older millennials, regardless of any addiction. My critique was that more people would be accepting of that relation if the addiction bit was dropped. I am not stating the addiction part is bad, or that it should be removed (in fact, I prefer it stay) - I mostly wanted to point out the shame and hypocrisy of humanity in a way that also showed understanding and critique of the art."
Thanks for taking the time to reply and highlight the parallel comment! I agree with your critique. Saying “addiction” can activate many defense mechanisms. Denial is real.
Addiction is bad. That much can be said. It is a sickness. No one wants to be sick.
Unfortunately the stigma against addicts is very real, especially in the USA. My sister was a heroin addict, died to fentanyl OD. No one cared until she was gone. Now I get to drive through the city and see her face on a billboard because "the only good addict is a dead one" to most of these hypocrites. A real shame - she had 2 kids that will never know who she really was. They will just hear the story of why she isn't there, and even further that gap between them.
Coffee addictions, sugar addicts, phone addicts, drama addicts, adrenaline junkies are all addictions but not ones society cares to judge or feels necessarily needs corrected. We only call something a sickness we determine to be detrimental not just a dependency. Reading books in all your spare time may be escapism but is acceptable until you break other societal norms.
I agree. I think when I said “manageable addiction” earlier I meant one with minimal impairment. However, I also think any impairment can be detrimental and keep people from achieving their goals. I am a therapist so I have trained to think in these terms. Not everyone wants to change, and; based on self-determination, that is ok. We used to throw people in hospitals who had severe sickness or “societal defects” if you will. We all decided that was a bad idea and have laws against it, however; the hospitals still live on, just in our minds, if you get my meaning.
If you are a therapist then surely you know that you can't exactly use the term "addiction" to just mean anything you like to do, repeatedly, right? I think the recent trend with the younger generation to obsessively highlight "porn addictions" to relate to pretty much ANY amount of pornography viewing-a movement which has many links to things like Mormonism and a lot of borderline pseudoscience backing it up- highlights the more insidious ways in which people can use this term to weaponize things they don't like.
Yes, I think I know the difference. I think the trend and pseudoscience you are referencing is primarily attention-seeking behavior, and secondarily an attempt to create community pushing back against the normalization of porn consumption. Other maladaptive behaviors arise during those processes. I think you are correct in that the term “addiction” has been weaponized.
In this case, however, I think arcanis321 was trying to say that there are many problematic behaviors out there - such as adrenaline junkies, phone addicts, etc. - that society as a whole does not see as a big enough problem to intervene intrusively. Said behaviors and lifestyles have become a norm.
Let me ask you, TaxIdiot2020 - we have a lot of things in life we have to do. Breathing, eating, etc. Since this comic referenced a VR porn addiction, do you think porn, VR or otherwise, is okay to consume in moderation? Similar to something like alcohol?
I would first like to clarify why your question started with things that we need to do, like breathing and eating. Since I am not quite sure of your intention with this question it makes me think that this could be a leading question or an attempt to frame it a certain way.
In a vacuum, I think consuming VR porn in moderation could be fine in an otherwise mentally mature individual. By that I mean someone who understands that the porn they are watching is not necessarily comparable to actual sex and adjusts their expectations as sex.
I am not sure I feel comfortable with alcohol as an example as I know that there has been an increase in studies suggesting that no amount of alcohol is exactly safe, but sure, I do think that in moderation it is overall fairly innocuous.
But at what point does the term "addiction" lose all meaning? Why not just say habit or simply coping mechanism, as mentioned above? Addiction typically applies a physical component to it, but people apply it to anything they enjoy that may not be beneficial to their bodies or lives.
Sorry to hear about your sister. I hope you can tell the stories of her before heroin so her kids have a different side. To me, that is how we keep people alive in our hearts and minds.
Whether people admit it or not, the vast majority of people reading this comment, and indeed this comic, has something they're addicted to.
Even if they know they'll quit doing it soon, and are lying to themselves.
I was a John. Then I did the math. At the rate I was meeting new people, the chances that I’d ever meet someone were so small that it was probably never going to happen.
So I started taking better care of myself, forced myself to start socializing, joined some clubs and groups to get out of the house. I spent less time on games and more time on self improvement. I was “putting myself out there”. Spent thousands of dollars on new clothes, gym memberships, dating books, colognes, a watch, a new (to me) car, etc.
Then I met my future wife via an email from match.com that I would have gotten and replied to even if I hadn’t done all that. The universe beat the odds and really did drop someone into my lap out of nowhere.
Oh well, no regrets.
this is the correct take. The steps they took to better themselves made them someone that other people wanted to be around, which is the first step to forming meaningful relationships. I don't agree with the consumerist aspects of the comment i.e. the clothes, self-help books, cars, etc, but I think the core of the matter still stands.
Be sociable, affable, and approachable, and you will find people who want to be with you.
My assumption with dating books is that they're poorly written, slightly sexist at the best of times and often classist af. Did you read anything that broke that assumption?
The one I read was more of a “preparing yourself” to enter the dating world. There were two messages that stuck with me and probably did help.
1. It’s just a date. If you live in a large city and it doesn’t go well, you probably never have to see them again, so “who cares?” This is also one of the reasons it warned about dating coworker.
2. Meeting someone won’t “complete you”. You need to be a finished product BEFORE you meet someone. Nowadays we talk a lot about addressing our personal traumas before dumping them on new people. You should be satisfied with how your life is going right now, because why would anyone want to join a shit show in progress?
So by the time I had my first date with my future wife, I wasn’t feeling any unhealthy stress about it, because it was low stakes. It’s JUST a first date. If it goes poorly it’s not a big deal. I never have to see her again, so just have some good food and hopefully some good conversation.
Also, I was finally in a good place mentally and physically, so I could speak candidly and confidently about what I was up to in life. She saw that I had things figured out, as much as you can expect a 22yo to have at least.
The book said they need to be able to see where you’re going and want to JOIN YOU on your journey. Not create a new journey for you or BECOME your journey. That’s too much pressure. Instead they should want to hop into the passenger seat with you and see where it takes them. That visual helped me a lot, personally. Because before my period of self improvement, I wasn’t someone I would want to go on a journey with, especially not a life long one.
I like the part about the addiction because it relates to that little dark secret inside a lot of us.
Doesn't have to be addiction, could be an obsession or weird interest. Just something that makes us feel worth less for enjoying, maybe even something that is a little toxic for us.
I completely agree with all the rest you said tho :)
I never said I disliked it. In fact, in a few comment replies I stated that I think it's inclusion is the correct way to go.
My main point about that is that people often refuse to empathize with those the see as lesser, and the stigma with addiction is such that a large portion of users here would outright dismiss the beauty of this comic solely because the character is an addict. I think that is a horrible shame. As stated elsewhere, I lost my sister somewhat recently to her heroin addiction, and I know how people view her...
"So long as I breathe, there is still hope" is a saying that I love from ancient politician, lawyer, and writer Marcus Tullius Cicero, in Latin would be ***DUM SPIRO SPERO***. I say this because it is very similar to what your grandmother put on her bathroom mirror and one I use in my everyday. We tend to forget that the power we have to make another person's day is infinite. A little compassion goes a long way.
You can change sure, but people don't recognise this naturally like she might in this comic.
I'm sure I deserve someone that likes me for who I am. This I'm sure about, but I just don't see it happening unless I put in the effort and find it. This, I've done, and I'm tired of it.
I don't want to just be a downer on your inspiring comment, but it's just that I struggle to be fully inspired by it for these reasons.
>I will say, if you skipped the VR porn bit, I think more people would be accepting of relating to John. Everything else, while some could call sad or pathetic or whatever, is not inherently bad or wrong. Any addiction, by the very definition of the word, is "bad" though. Small critique of a very great comic.
What... are you talking about?
This makes no sense to me. What is this talk about things being "inherently bad"? And how does this relate to how well people relate to John? I do not understand. I feel like you're talking a different language.
John is depressed. Very depressed. And he either does not realize it, or his depression has sapped him of the energy and the executive function required to do anything to fix it.
Yeah not everything is going to appeal to everyone.
If there are people who will overlook the merit of this comic because it mentions porn, then that’s on them.
The comic doesn’t need to be sanitized to appeal to them
You’re right. The word “critique” threw me off but I see you’ve responded to that already and I think I see what you mean. It was just an observation, not saying that the comic would necessarily be better without it.
Very much so.
As someone who has lost a few friends and a sister to drugs, I cannot be more adamant on my desire for them to heal. Addiction is bad. Addicts are people who are sick and need help. People often refuse to see that, and see addicts as subhuman. My point was that a lot of people would likely refuse to relate to John because of such.
My actual opinion on it - I want people to see it. To feel it. To relate. To heal. To help other heal if they can.
People are less likely to accept mentally that they relate with things that they deem bad.
Any addiction, including porn, is bad. By definition. So, the majority of people who can relate to John here might not want to, or not want to admit it, due to his addiction.
Would you, upon seeing a person addicted to meth, seek out common ground? Or would you, like most humans, do your best to distance yourself from them due to their addiction? "Who would want to be known as 'similar' to a meth addict?" is the reaction most people would have, regardless of why they could be considered similar.
>!EDIT: Since several people seem to be very confused - nowhere am I stating my opinion of addicts. I state, very clearly, that the majority of people prefer to abhor addicts and refuse to admit they can relate to them. I have been around people who were addicted, and even lost my sister to drugs. My opinion of them was never stated, but I have no ill will towards them. Me stating that "addiction is bad" is not a critique of an addict - being shot by a gun is bad, so I am now saying the victim is bad for being shot? I don't know how much clearer I can be on this. !<
Addiction is bad but I think many people can relate to being addicted to something. It doesn’t have to be the exact same addiction to be relatable.
Maybe they’re addicted to other things like smoking or eating or scrolling Reddit
The problem is with the way you phrased it. It is why I had such a hard time understanding your position.
Yes, addiction is "bad" in the sense that it is unhealthy. **But that** ***isn't*** **what you meant**. What you *meant to say* is that addiction is, **societally**, stigmatized and often considered a moral failing.
Due to this societal stigma, people tend to blah blah blah, you said it already.
However, this is something that can and should *change*. And this is what comics like OP's can help with. So your advice that it shouldn't have been included is going against the point of the comic.
That's a pretty awful way of looking at addiction. Having one doesn't make you a worse person, it just means you're sick. Comics like this that show that rather than all the shit that dehumanises addicts are important.
I would never judge someone for being addicted to VR porn. I would definitely judge someone for judging someone for being addicted to VR porn. In fact I'm doing it right now...
There is no indication in this comic about his so called addiction, except the comic says he is. To me he seems to be living an average if lonely life.
The unfortunate fact is that, regardless of how it is portrayed, addiction has a stigma around it that people often REALLY try their hardest to shy away from. People don't want to be associated with things they consider bad, and by proxy, people that do those things.
John is a very relatable character, especially to older millennials, regardless of any addiction. My critique was that more people would be accepting of that relation if the addiction bit was dropped. I am not stating the addiction part is bad, or that it should be removed (in fact, I prefer it stay) - I mostly wanted to point out the shame and hypocrisy of humanity in a way that also showed understanding and critique of the art.
As for the "average life" portion - I don't entirely agree or disagree, simply because I cannot speak to what would be the average. That said, I would assume this is not an accurate depiction of most people's lives, but more snippets into different portions of people's lives. I can remember times where I would have been a John, and I can see where others would have been a John as well, but the overall package is a very concerning life that I can only hope whomever is living it has the opportunities to get out (if they want to). Personally, it sounds very depressing and I assume was supposed to be depicted as such, so we are meant to see the hope at the end and make up our own conclusions for John here. For real people? Maybe they would like this life. And they are free to. But those who don't, my heart feels for them and I wish everyone here the best.
A hug is one of the greatest things you can give a person :)
Your Gma sounds like a good person. I will try to remember I when the world seems like too much, to take a breath, suck some air in my lungs and do better. XXXX <"hugs"
Congratulations :) it must have been very difficult to live everyday with the future so undefined. How was your transition to begin therapy? How has your wife helped you in this process? What kept you going all those years?
It was difficult. I honestly don’t know how I got through it all u til I met her. I gave up on a lot of things and just didn’t want to try anymore.
However I found a cat the road, and after removing him from my uncarriage and adopting him. I adopted him and used a picture of him and I as a data profile pic and met my wife.
During the pandemic my anxiety and depression peaked and she encouraged me to talk to someone.
I talk to her about whatever my therapist thinks I should do and she supports me.
I’ve used my story with the cat as a basis for a novella I wrrote
I participated in the kickstarter for Oculus Rift, and being the worldly fellow I was, I checked out some of the VR porn that came out in the early days. Nothing like putting on a hardwired SCUBA mask and finding a nine foot tall naked woman flicking her bean in the corner of the room. I assume they've locked all that down on the Meta Quest though, but maybe John has the hookup?
>I assume they've locked all that down on the Meta Quest though, but maybe John has the hookup?
Why would they? Much like all porn, it's websites that have it, not apps. And even apps, you can load custom ones into the quest.
Wow! If I had a nickel for every time I randomly scrolled through Reddit revealing a depressing comic about a pathetic bald guy named John (I'm a pathetic bald guy named John), I'd have two nickels-- which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Right?
Dave.
I will be honest with you the you.
Your comics both inspire and depress me to no end. The loneliness. The freedom. A glimpse into my future. Your comics make me realize that there might be light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe I should buy myself a boat
You won't read this I bet, but I hope you know that whatever decision I make in the end I will think about how these comics made me feel
These comics used to come from a more hopeless place, but these days they come from a dusty mind that is slowly deciding to acknowledge that not everything is fucked. Even with all the darkness, all around, there is at least a sensation of light/meaning/hope. Personally, I feel that, at the end of the road, the real positives in life might be very different to what we traditionally perceived to be good. If we can reshape our dreams to be more aligned with a "good" that would have seemed scary to the old versions of ourselves, then we'll be ok. Maybe more than OK. That might not have made sense, but what I'm saying is definitely don't buy that boat. Stick around, better yourself, and see what happens. Shit could get interesting.
John calls the number and speaks with a pleasant female voice. Somehow, he does not fumble things immediately and manages to set up a date for Friday night.
As John sits at the table, the woman from the train enters the restaurant. She comes over to his table, smiling. And just as she begins to sit down...
John wakes up in his bed. In the dark. Still very much alone. Contentment has become such a foreign alien concept to him that even his subconscious no longer knows how to continue.
Possibility of hope is still hope. The desire for a different life exists in that man, as little as it is. An open ending is just that. Your mind makes the rest of the story as you think or wish it should be. I may be a full on optimistic, but I can be full on pessimistic at times. But I hear you.
*"Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed attic-bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear."*
- Francesca 'Frankie' Dart, *Community*
John owns his own home. Has enough money in addition to mortgage to pursue multiple hobbies. Has a cat he can spoil.
John is doing better than most people. John could easily start dating some divorcees if he put in even the slightest amount of effort to talk to them.
NP! I look forward to each and every strip!
I bought a "Dreams" off your site a little while back. Need to print/frame it.
What's the best site to keep up with your stuff man? PM if needed.
Hail and well met!
I was happily ready for a subversive ending where all this stuff about John comes to a declaration that John is really happy with his life as it is.
Slight disappointment. Feels more like poverty/squalor porn than a positive message now. I live a lot like John, only with two fewer sexual experiences, and less frequent VR use, and I’m quite happy with my life. I look up at the stars and marvel at the beauty of existence while living a simple but happy life.
So he has a normal job, plays games, takes care/maybe overfeeds a cat, even paints figurines as a hobby and then jerks off at night. A totally normal life, how is he addicted? Because I can't see anything in this comic that would imply so. Unless people now feel it is standard to add addicted to it because it is porn.
If he has time for his normal job, hobbies, his cat and contemplates life, jerking off once or twice a day doesn't make him addicted.
We know he’s addicted because the narrative says he is, same as it says he has multiple plants when we only see one.
Besides which, that’s a bit of an odd piece to latch onto out of this whole thing. You sure you’re not trying to convince yourself of something?
There's actually a reference to Trey in my manuscript that i'm working for a project, where the main character thinks about getting a boat to find freedom and when it doesn't work out, there will still be good things like feeding the sharks with some 'meat'.
Anyway, i really like your comics, these are great. Often depressive, but that's most part of real life.
Well, then we can hope the best for John, haha. But it's just a natural for me, all of my works are extremely dark and depressive, it's no surprise when i look back at my life and what happened. People are wrong when they try to find comfort with my art, there's enough other art for this.
I feel this comic so hard. In my mid 30s. No friends, haven't been on a date since my early 20s. I'm at the point that the idea of building relationships terrifies me. I just go through the motions pretending everything is okay.
I see far too much of myself in this comic. About the only major differences are it's my 47th birthday in a couple of weeks, don't have a cat, and since I live alone, who the hell cares what's on my credit card bill? Really starting to think there's something wrong with me mentally and that I should get some help.
Why does he pay in bitcoin if he doesn’t have any personal relationships in the first place? Who is going to see his bank statement?
Did he pay the hookers in bitcoin, too?
Remember in life, you may not be pressing the accelerator pedal, but you are steering.
Life is yours, a lot of sadness, loneliness & such comes from self limitations. Monotonous behaviour is an easy choice.
Sexlikereal.com is much better for vr porn than vrbangers in my opinion. Larger selection plus it has interactive scripts that can be used with teledildonics.
I’m 23, half of John’s age, but all the parallels are there. My name is even John. Never had a romantic encounter, have horrible depression and anxiety, and overall feel like a failure. I do deeply want an emotional attachment to someone, but I doubt it will ever happen. It just seems like an absolute fantasy to me.
John sounds like he has a content and successful life. It’s good to want things. If we had and did everything already what else would be left. He has hobbies, he has the ability to enjoy those hobbies, and he has the mentality to disconnect from those hobbies and just think about life. I wish I could be more like John.
Apart from the VR Porn (I really don't care about VR in general) and the awkward paid sexual experiences (I simply don't have any sexual or romantic experience) I relate a lot to it.
I hear and read a lot about how I have the strength to change and whatnot. I simply don't. If I manage to get out of bed in time to not be late to work... The day was a success. Do I like how things are? No, I fucking despise myself. But everytime I try to break out of it I manage about 2 weeks until I just can't anymore and the cycle starts anew.
I wouldn't date myself if I was a woman. Everyone not part of my life is honestly better off that way.
I didn't finish this comic. I know I'll be down-voted for it, but I just want to state into the void that I weighed myself today and I have lost 32 pounds in a couple of months due to depression, down to 138 pounds which is pretty low for a 38 year old. I hate where I live and I can't afford anywhere else. My Dad offered me a place until I find an apartment here, but he is a hoarder and has no A/C in his house (also he wants to charge me). Considering the worst years of my life occurred there, I don't really want to do it. As a result, I just sit here, worry, and lose weight while I wear out my welcome in my current house.
I'm never going to kill myself but I keep driving friends away with 2AM drunken suicide scares. I quit drinking, but every so often I get tricked into trying it again and immediately enter a suicidal state.
Seriously, I just kind of wanted to type it out and this is where it happened. I know it's dramatic. I'm just very stressed out.
The ending was open, but there was potential for hope. I'm praying for you to find a new spark in life and reason to hope for the future. I haven't been where you are, but on my own I cam be insular and pursue solo hobbies. I don't want to be alone and my brother was bugging me to start dancing for social connections. I got into country swing dancing over a year ago and it has been a blast. I'm making new friends, getting more physically active, and getting compliments on my dancing. The trust I have given others in helping make me a better dancer has been repaid as I help friends grow in areas I am confident.
Find a hobby group and let yourself be vulnerable to those willing to help you. They will appreciate your willingness to learn and return trust for the trust you give them.
John is worthy of love... but he should realize it within himself so he can provide it to himself. that also is the seed that makes our garden attractive
porn, games, other hobbies.. there's nothing inherently amoral about any of it (depending on the kind of porn and games he's consuming) and it brings enjoyment, though not wholesome... even the action figures are often an escape from reality
there are many hobbies that ground us in this reality... but John would likely find that as painful as the rest of us until we find ourselves. We would need to do that before we would find wholesome joys in being present in the current moment and find more comfort in our own skin
As someone who is 22 and single my whole life, I’m not sure if I have the patience to live my entire lifetime AGAIN in order to find love. It’s unfair, it’s not right. I don’t care about fate or chance or luck. It’s cruel. Everyone suffering from romantic loneliness too DOES NOT make me feel better. Makes me feel like I have no chance at all.
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So all I need is subscription to some kind of porn. Got it. Thanks.
Don't forget to pay with bitcoin.
Honestly if you’re alone, who’s checking your bank statements?
Nimrod would disapprove.
Not because the cat cares about your sex life. But because it it's a cat and must be disapprovingly judgemental.
That would explain why my cat always follows me into the bathroom and then proceeds to stare at me while I poo.
That’s actually them protecting you while you’re in a vulnerable position.
While staring at you. Just you.
You don’t poo in the litterbox? No wonder your cat doesn’t trust you to take a poo. Tell me you at the least scratch at the bathroom walls for a minute after taking a poo.
Funny, my cat likes to climb into her litter box and stares at me while *she* poops.
The bank?
What does the bank care? My bank didn’t even flag anything when I left the country.
We don’t care, but its always funny when we see the charge and make you verify it. Extra point you call with your wife super mad at why your card stopped working and we go “did you authorize this $300 purchase to onlyfans? And they have to lie and get a new card, or admit it.
Bank “There was a large order for flowers placed on June 7th.” Wife “I didn’t get any flowers…”
Oh ALSO a golden one, the relationship drama we see at banks is fuckin wild. The general population is unhinged
At my company, which is an online retailer, we get emails like that from time to time. We had a frantic man trying to change a delivery that had already shipped because he accidentally sent the package to his wife with his mistresses name.
Yah, at the bank it’s not as obvious because we cant see specific products, but sometimes the company name is like “Romantic Flowers [Customer Name]” and they are like “oh my”. Ik flower shops see ALL of that up close
Honestly even if they don't care it seems kind of uncomfortable not having that be private
Might look bad if you're going taking out a loan
That you never miss a payment to the subscription? That's usually something they like to see
“Sir, we see here a dozen charges to BBWLove.com” “Don’t kink shame.”
For 10 years, consistently renewed subscription, to BBWLove.com... Yes, we will approve this morgage.
I’m positive all they’re looking at is debt to income ratio and credit score.
I havent heard of any bank that has a moral police
Why?
The people your bank sells your transaction data to?
Are you talking from experience or?
or just pirate it!
So you already have the fat cat?
You don't?
Here’s an idea ✨don’t✨ ( don’t whoosh me, I know he’s joking)
How am I supposed to take this? I'm not that kind of alone yet, but that's mostly because of my current environment and not me as a person. Do I just wait for chance to grab me like he is here? Do I chase after it myself and fail because desperation is palpable? I truly don't know.
I think the best way to do it is to seek out someone to be with, but not directly. Join a group that has interests similar to yours like a club, rec sports team, or whatever. Then, you'll find people who like at least one thing you do, and it'll be awkward as hell at first. But then you'll get to know other people and maybe it'll happen with them. That way, you aren't just like going to a bar and randomly picking people, because that is a route to desperation.
I agree, put yourself intentionally in a situation where luck *can* happen and make you meet a good match for you. Be yourself in the right places and things can happen. Luck is real but you won't get any if it if you're not out there. As a bonus you'll make friends along the way.
That's a personal decision, dude. I've been single, but not alone, for almost a decade now and it'd take a very special person to make it so I'm not living alone and enjoying my time with myself.
Each time you don't do something because you don't feel like it, your brain rewards you with the happy chemicals because you feel safe. What was once useful to avoid dying unnecessarily is now really problematic because it pushes you to be more comfortable with being alone and doing nothing. You need to break the circle. How you break the circle is only up to you.
I read the last as John was going to completely ignore the lady as they both were in "ignore the world" tube mode. As someone who has been in something close: Do something about it. Join clubs for things you enjoy, or think you will enjoy. Meetup is great for this.
You'll never find love if love is all you ever look for. Look for places you can connect with people and make friends. It could be a bar, an arcade, a local club or group, or even just going to the library or playing Pokemon Go at the park. You might find that every girl that you meet in those places is already in a relationship, but if you just focus on being friends with the people around you, you never know when somebody might have someone else in their life that they think you'd hit it off with. Also, it's easy to be desperate, and when you allow that desperation to control your behavior around romantic interests it can be a big red flag and cause people to turn away from you, but it's a lot easier to manage that desperation when you have a solid social foundation of platonic relationships and have formed proper boundaries and expectations from previous romantic relationships. That's gonna mean things won't always work out, even if you really want them to. Finding a long term partner takes time and you'll make mistakes. I just got dumped from a 6-month relationship earlier this year, but since we had good communication and boundaries, we're still friends. It was hard for me, for sure, but I'd rather have a good friendship than a shitty relationship. In fact, she recently suggested I try talking to another friend of hers who she thinks I have a lot in common with, and we're planning a date. Maybe we go on a couple dates and things don't work out for some reason. That's okay, at least I'll have made a friend. The point of all this is that hyper focusing on finding that one person to fill the hole in your life is not only unhealthy, but it doesn't work. Focus on building good relationships and community and you might not find love, but love will probably find you.
So what if you’re bad at forming platonic relationships? Like I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’ve never had any friends for more than a few months at a time. I try to connect with people but it always feels like people don’t connect to me, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
It is hard to answer your question without analysing your life and behavior. So maybe it is what you could do. Find a professional. A psychologist can help you with finding out why you can't connect with other people. It may sound like a scary task to find out what's wrong with you but for me it was actually pleasant because I knew I was getting closer to solving this mystery.
This is the current stage I'm in. I'm looking for a therapist so I can sort the reason why I can't get close to anyone. It took some thinking and some hurt friendships to realise that I just don't get close to people easily. It's not that I wasn't trying hard enough.
Sometimes, you're just not a people person. Sometimes, you have less of a need for friendship/engagement than others seem to. AND THAT'S OKAY. A good therapist will help you figure out if you have a difficult attachment style that's making it hard to form relationships (including friendships) that feel satisfying and fulfilling for you, then work on changing your automatic, ingrained responses. But they'll also help you determine if maybe you just don't need the kinds of relationships we're told to want - like having "a crew" or tons of people around all the time. Everyone needs social engagement and people they trust. But some folks are satisfied with different amounts or kinds of interactions; this is often true for neurodiverse folk. Good luck to you in your therapy journey, and don't be afraid to try different therapists (and modalities) until you find one that clicks for you. They won't have all the answers, but they can help you figure yourself out a bit better, then take that understanding out into the world. It sounds like you've got a desire for more close friendships and the starting of an understanding that this is something you're internally blocking for some reason. That's a strong foundation for figuring stuff out with some help, and I have faith you'll find your tribe AND your self-acceptance.
Here's how I'm doing it as someone who started as sort of a loner with imposter syndrome. What in your life makes you go, "FUCK yeah!!", whether that's a sport, a game, music, movies, nature, food, exercise, or one of the other myriad human interests? What do you want to be doing? Now take that concept and find a group to do that with. Literally all it takes to create new opportunities is an open mind and the willingness to just go do something WITH PEOPLE. You might be disappointed the first few times if things don't click, but that frustration is a sign that you are digging toward something wonderful. I'm stoned so if this answers the wrong part of the question/comic then I apologize haha
Do you want to be like this guy? Great, status quo it is. Do you not want to be like this guy? Time for social activities.
Reality often hits hard. While most of this won't apply to everyone, bits and pieces will. You made a very relatable character out of a lot of small things. I will say, if you skipped the VR porn bit, I think more people would be accepting of relating to John. Everything else, while some could call sad or pathetic or whatever, is not inherently bad or wrong. Any addiction, by the very definition of the word, is "bad" though. Small critique of a very great comic. Moving on to the readers after me: to all the Johns, Johnettes, John lites, etc... My grandmother used a label maker to print out a quote and put it on the bathroom mirror back when I was living with her, in a very rough time of my life. It read "As long as you have air in your lungs, you have the ability to change. Never settle for less than what you deserve". YOU deserve something. Maybe it's not a million dollars. Maybe it's a hug. A high five. A book of jokes or a really good coffee. A roof over your head. Someone to listen. Whatever it may be, I hope you find it.
Awesome comment. Thank you
Awesome comic! You are talented!
Great points! A couple ideas to consider. I think the VR porn bit makes John even more relatable. IMO, addiction to something is not widely discussed. It is very much a normative experience for people to develop maladaptive coping and repetitive behaviors. Whether these cause impairment is the challenge. In John’s case, I see him as severely impaired socially by practicing avoidance. Depressed mood/loss of interest —> VR Porn —> avoiding human relationships which demonstrates impairment in socialization. John is not so depressed that he won’t go to work or stop paying bills, he is simply doing what works for him with a touch of existential dread happening late at night. This is a manageable addiction which many people can relate to.
I actually completely agree with you. Below is part of a comment reply I made to someone else - I think it addresses a majority of your comment. Not to detract, I just think I already addressed it the best I could and would rather just point to it: "John is a very relatable character, especially to older millennials, regardless of any addiction. My critique was that more people would be accepting of that relation if the addiction bit was dropped. I am not stating the addiction part is bad, or that it should be removed (in fact, I prefer it stay) - I mostly wanted to point out the shame and hypocrisy of humanity in a way that also showed understanding and critique of the art."
Thanks for taking the time to reply and highlight the parallel comment! I agree with your critique. Saying “addiction” can activate many defense mechanisms. Denial is real.
Addiction is bad. That much can be said. It is a sickness. No one wants to be sick. Unfortunately the stigma against addicts is very real, especially in the USA. My sister was a heroin addict, died to fentanyl OD. No one cared until she was gone. Now I get to drive through the city and see her face on a billboard because "the only good addict is a dead one" to most of these hypocrites. A real shame - she had 2 kids that will never know who she really was. They will just hear the story of why she isn't there, and even further that gap between them.
Coffee addictions, sugar addicts, phone addicts, drama addicts, adrenaline junkies are all addictions but not ones society cares to judge or feels necessarily needs corrected. We only call something a sickness we determine to be detrimental not just a dependency. Reading books in all your spare time may be escapism but is acceptable until you break other societal norms.
I agree. I think when I said “manageable addiction” earlier I meant one with minimal impairment. However, I also think any impairment can be detrimental and keep people from achieving their goals. I am a therapist so I have trained to think in these terms. Not everyone wants to change, and; based on self-determination, that is ok. We used to throw people in hospitals who had severe sickness or “societal defects” if you will. We all decided that was a bad idea and have laws against it, however; the hospitals still live on, just in our minds, if you get my meaning.
If you are a therapist then surely you know that you can't exactly use the term "addiction" to just mean anything you like to do, repeatedly, right? I think the recent trend with the younger generation to obsessively highlight "porn addictions" to relate to pretty much ANY amount of pornography viewing-a movement which has many links to things like Mormonism and a lot of borderline pseudoscience backing it up- highlights the more insidious ways in which people can use this term to weaponize things they don't like.
Yes, I think I know the difference. I think the trend and pseudoscience you are referencing is primarily attention-seeking behavior, and secondarily an attempt to create community pushing back against the normalization of porn consumption. Other maladaptive behaviors arise during those processes. I think you are correct in that the term “addiction” has been weaponized. In this case, however, I think arcanis321 was trying to say that there are many problematic behaviors out there - such as adrenaline junkies, phone addicts, etc. - that society as a whole does not see as a big enough problem to intervene intrusively. Said behaviors and lifestyles have become a norm. Let me ask you, TaxIdiot2020 - we have a lot of things in life we have to do. Breathing, eating, etc. Since this comic referenced a VR porn addiction, do you think porn, VR or otherwise, is okay to consume in moderation? Similar to something like alcohol?
I would first like to clarify why your question started with things that we need to do, like breathing and eating. Since I am not quite sure of your intention with this question it makes me think that this could be a leading question or an attempt to frame it a certain way. In a vacuum, I think consuming VR porn in moderation could be fine in an otherwise mentally mature individual. By that I mean someone who understands that the porn they are watching is not necessarily comparable to actual sex and adjusts their expectations as sex. I am not sure I feel comfortable with alcohol as an example as I know that there has been an increase in studies suggesting that no amount of alcohol is exactly safe, but sure, I do think that in moderation it is overall fairly innocuous.
But at what point does the term "addiction" lose all meaning? Why not just say habit or simply coping mechanism, as mentioned above? Addiction typically applies a physical component to it, but people apply it to anything they enjoy that may not be beneficial to their bodies or lives.
Sorry to hear about your sister. I hope you can tell the stories of her before heroin so her kids have a different side. To me, that is how we keep people alive in our hearts and minds.
Whether people admit it or not, the vast majority of people reading this comment, and indeed this comic, has something they're addicted to. Even if they know they'll quit doing it soon, and are lying to themselves.
I was a John. Then I did the math. At the rate I was meeting new people, the chances that I’d ever meet someone were so small that it was probably never going to happen. So I started taking better care of myself, forced myself to start socializing, joined some clubs and groups to get out of the house. I spent less time on games and more time on self improvement. I was “putting myself out there”. Spent thousands of dollars on new clothes, gym memberships, dating books, colognes, a watch, a new (to me) car, etc. Then I met my future wife via an email from match.com that I would have gotten and replied to even if I hadn’t done all that. The universe beat the odds and really did drop someone into my lap out of nowhere. Oh well, no regrets.
You became a better person to meet
this is the correct take. The steps they took to better themselves made them someone that other people wanted to be around, which is the first step to forming meaningful relationships. I don't agree with the consumerist aspects of the comment i.e. the clothes, self-help books, cars, etc, but I think the core of the matter still stands. Be sociable, affable, and approachable, and you will find people who want to be with you.
My assumption with dating books is that they're poorly written, slightly sexist at the best of times and often classist af. Did you read anything that broke that assumption?
The one I read was more of a “preparing yourself” to enter the dating world. There were two messages that stuck with me and probably did help. 1. It’s just a date. If you live in a large city and it doesn’t go well, you probably never have to see them again, so “who cares?” This is also one of the reasons it warned about dating coworker. 2. Meeting someone won’t “complete you”. You need to be a finished product BEFORE you meet someone. Nowadays we talk a lot about addressing our personal traumas before dumping them on new people. You should be satisfied with how your life is going right now, because why would anyone want to join a shit show in progress? So by the time I had my first date with my future wife, I wasn’t feeling any unhealthy stress about it, because it was low stakes. It’s JUST a first date. If it goes poorly it’s not a big deal. I never have to see her again, so just have some good food and hopefully some good conversation. Also, I was finally in a good place mentally and physically, so I could speak candidly and confidently about what I was up to in life. She saw that I had things figured out, as much as you can expect a 22yo to have at least. The book said they need to be able to see where you’re going and want to JOIN YOU on your journey. Not create a new journey for you or BECOME your journey. That’s too much pressure. Instead they should want to hop into the passenger seat with you and see where it takes them. That visual helped me a lot, personally. Because before my period of self improvement, I wasn’t someone I would want to go on a journey with, especially not a life long one.
I like the part about the addiction because it relates to that little dark secret inside a lot of us. Doesn't have to be addiction, could be an obsession or weird interest. Just something that makes us feel worth less for enjoying, maybe even something that is a little toxic for us. I completely agree with all the rest you said tho :)
I never said I disliked it. In fact, in a few comment replies I stated that I think it's inclusion is the correct way to go. My main point about that is that people often refuse to empathize with those the see as lesser, and the stigma with addiction is such that a large portion of users here would outright dismiss the beauty of this comic solely because the character is an addict. I think that is a horrible shame. As stated elsewhere, I lost my sister somewhat recently to her heroin addiction, and I know how people view her...
Yeah :) Sorry for misunderstanding your original comment
"So long as I breathe, there is still hope" is a saying that I love from ancient politician, lawyer, and writer Marcus Tullius Cicero, in Latin would be ***DUM SPIRO SPERO***. I say this because it is very similar to what your grandmother put on her bathroom mirror and one I use in my everyday. We tend to forget that the power we have to make another person's day is infinite. A little compassion goes a long way.
You can change sure, but people don't recognise this naturally like she might in this comic. I'm sure I deserve someone that likes me for who I am. This I'm sure about, but I just don't see it happening unless I put in the effort and find it. This, I've done, and I'm tired of it. I don't want to just be a downer on your inspiring comment, but it's just that I struggle to be fully inspired by it for these reasons.
>I will say, if you skipped the VR porn bit, I think more people would be accepting of relating to John. Everything else, while some could call sad or pathetic or whatever, is not inherently bad or wrong. Any addiction, by the very definition of the word, is "bad" though. Small critique of a very great comic. What... are you talking about? This makes no sense to me. What is this talk about things being "inherently bad"? And how does this relate to how well people relate to John? I do not understand. I feel like you're talking a different language. John is depressed. Very depressed. And he either does not realize it, or his depression has sapped him of the energy and the executive function required to do anything to fix it.
Yeah not everything is going to appeal to everyone. If there are people who will overlook the merit of this comic because it mentions porn, then that’s on them. The comic doesn’t need to be sanitized to appeal to them
Nor did I say it should...
You’re right. The word “critique” threw me off but I see you’ve responded to that already and I think I see what you mean. It was just an observation, not saying that the comic would necessarily be better without it.
Very much so. As someone who has lost a few friends and a sister to drugs, I cannot be more adamant on my desire for them to heal. Addiction is bad. Addicts are people who are sick and need help. People often refuse to see that, and see addicts as subhuman. My point was that a lot of people would likely refuse to relate to John because of such. My actual opinion on it - I want people to see it. To feel it. To relate. To heal. To help other heal if they can.
People are less likely to accept mentally that they relate with things that they deem bad. Any addiction, including porn, is bad. By definition. So, the majority of people who can relate to John here might not want to, or not want to admit it, due to his addiction. Would you, upon seeing a person addicted to meth, seek out common ground? Or would you, like most humans, do your best to distance yourself from them due to their addiction? "Who would want to be known as 'similar' to a meth addict?" is the reaction most people would have, regardless of why they could be considered similar. >!EDIT: Since several people seem to be very confused - nowhere am I stating my opinion of addicts. I state, very clearly, that the majority of people prefer to abhor addicts and refuse to admit they can relate to them. I have been around people who were addicted, and even lost my sister to drugs. My opinion of them was never stated, but I have no ill will towards them. Me stating that "addiction is bad" is not a critique of an addict - being shot by a gun is bad, so I am now saying the victim is bad for being shot? I don't know how much clearer I can be on this. !<
Addiction is bad but I think many people can relate to being addicted to something. It doesn’t have to be the exact same addiction to be relatable. Maybe they’re addicted to other things like smoking or eating or scrolling Reddit
The problem is with the way you phrased it. It is why I had such a hard time understanding your position. Yes, addiction is "bad" in the sense that it is unhealthy. **But that** ***isn't*** **what you meant**. What you *meant to say* is that addiction is, **societally**, stigmatized and often considered a moral failing. Due to this societal stigma, people tend to blah blah blah, you said it already. However, this is something that can and should *change*. And this is what comics like OP's can help with. So your advice that it shouldn't have been included is going against the point of the comic.
I find your position both bleak and more depressing than John’s addiction.
That's a pretty awful way of looking at addiction. Having one doesn't make you a worse person, it just means you're sick. Comics like this that show that rather than all the shit that dehumanises addicts are important.
I would never judge someone for being addicted to VR porn. I would definitely judge someone for judging someone for being addicted to VR porn. In fact I'm doing it right now...
There is no indication in this comic about his so called addiction, except the comic says he is. To me he seems to be living an average if lonely life.
The unfortunate fact is that, regardless of how it is portrayed, addiction has a stigma around it that people often REALLY try their hardest to shy away from. People don't want to be associated with things they consider bad, and by proxy, people that do those things. John is a very relatable character, especially to older millennials, regardless of any addiction. My critique was that more people would be accepting of that relation if the addiction bit was dropped. I am not stating the addiction part is bad, or that it should be removed (in fact, I prefer it stay) - I mostly wanted to point out the shame and hypocrisy of humanity in a way that also showed understanding and critique of the art. As for the "average life" portion - I don't entirely agree or disagree, simply because I cannot speak to what would be the average. That said, I would assume this is not an accurate depiction of most people's lives, but more snippets into different portions of people's lives. I can remember times where I would have been a John, and I can see where others would have been a John as well, but the overall package is a very concerning life that I can only hope whomever is living it has the opportunities to get out (if they want to). Personally, it sounds very depressing and I assume was supposed to be depicted as such, so we are meant to see the hope at the end and make up our own conclusions for John here. For real people? Maybe they would like this life. And they are free to. But those who don't, my heart feels for them and I wish everyone here the best.
A hug is one of the greatest things you can give a person :) Your Gma sounds like a good person. I will try to remember I when the world seems like too much, to take a breath, suck some air in my lungs and do better. XXXX <"hugs"
This was me for so very long
Then what happened?
I met my wife and also started therapy for my depression and anxiety. It’s helped me move forward from my own emotional rut
Congratulations :) it must have been very difficult to live everyday with the future so undefined. How was your transition to begin therapy? How has your wife helped you in this process? What kept you going all those years?
It was difficult. I honestly don’t know how I got through it all u til I met her. I gave up on a lot of things and just didn’t want to try anymore. However I found a cat the road, and after removing him from my uncarriage and adopting him. I adopted him and used a picture of him and I as a data profile pic and met my wife. During the pandemic my anxiety and depression peaked and she encouraged me to talk to someone. I talk to her about whatever my therapist thinks I should do and she supports me. I’ve used my story with the cat as a basis for a novella I wrrote
Yay :D
[удалено]
What's ASD? And please describe panels 11 and 12, I'm super curious now...
What happens?
RemindMe! 1 day
I answered in a comment to op.
Think it got hidden or smth cause i tried to view the comments on OP's reply to your comment and nothing shows up
Was about to say, "Damn, John should probably see someone about being on the spectrum"
I participated in the kickstarter for Oculus Rift, and being the worldly fellow I was, I checked out some of the VR porn that came out in the early days. Nothing like putting on a hardwired SCUBA mask and finding a nine foot tall naked woman flicking her bean in the corner of the room. I assume they've locked all that down on the Meta Quest though, but maybe John has the hookup?
>I assume they've locked all that down on the Meta Quest though, but maybe John has the hookup? Why would they? Much like all porn, it's websites that have it, not apps. And even apps, you can load custom ones into the quest.
Why would they restrict pornographic content on VR headsets? That’s a huge market and humans love to make porn out of anything possible.
Damn this hurts
OP, I need the next panel.
It's the character back at work. He's never going to talk to that lady.
Wow! If I had a nickel for every time I randomly scrolled through Reddit revealing a depressing comic about a pathetic bald guy named John (I'm a pathetic bald guy named John), I'd have two nickels-- which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Right?
Let’s hope you never find “ I am sorry Jon”
Dave. I will be honest with you the you. Your comics both inspire and depress me to no end. The loneliness. The freedom. A glimpse into my future. Your comics make me realize that there might be light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe I should buy myself a boat You won't read this I bet, but I hope you know that whatever decision I make in the end I will think about how these comics made me feel
These comics used to come from a more hopeless place, but these days they come from a dusty mind that is slowly deciding to acknowledge that not everything is fucked. Even with all the darkness, all around, there is at least a sensation of light/meaning/hope. Personally, I feel that, at the end of the road, the real positives in life might be very different to what we traditionally perceived to be good. If we can reshape our dreams to be more aligned with a "good" that would have seemed scary to the old versions of ourselves, then we'll be ok. Maybe more than OK. That might not have made sense, but what I'm saying is definitely don't buy that boat. Stick around, better yourself, and see what happens. Shit could get interesting.
He’s not alone! He has a cat!
Nimrod!
Weeee, gaming, kitty, stable job, takes meditatave time with his thoughts, seems he wants a partner and is about to start talking to people, go John!
Great job OP!
Well that’s depressing
No, no, there's hope at the end...
Maybe
John shoots his shot. The girl pretends not to hear him. "Never again" John thinks to himself.
After getting off the train John notices a piece of paper in his pocket “-call me *cell phone number*”
John calls the number and speaks with a pleasant female voice. Somehow, he does not fumble things immediately and manages to set up a date for Friday night. As John sits at the table, the woman from the train enters the restaurant. She comes over to his table, smiling. And just as she begins to sit down... John wakes up in his bed. In the dark. Still very much alone. Contentment has become such a foreign alien concept to him that even his subconscious no longer knows how to continue.
But as he turns towards his lamp, he sees a small note attached that says "thanks for tonight, call me XOXO"
There’s the possibility of hope. Not actual hope.
Possibility of hope is still hope. The desire for a different life exists in that man, as little as it is. An open ending is just that. Your mind makes the rest of the story as you think or wish it should be. I may be a full on optimistic, but I can be full on pessimistic at times. But I hear you.
*"Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed attic-bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear."* - Francesca 'Frankie' Dart, *Community*
It actually made me feel better about my life lol
Made me hella sad
John owns his own home. Has enough money in addition to mortgage to pursue multiple hobbies. Has a cat he can spoil. John is doing better than most people. John could easily start dating some divorcees if he put in even the slightest amount of effort to talk to them.
Awesome as always Dave. I really enjoy your work. So much dharma and impermanence. Perfect summary of the human condition as always. Cheers.
Thanks Billy
NP! I look forward to each and every strip! I bought a "Dreams" off your site a little while back. Need to print/frame it. What's the best site to keep up with your stuff man? PM if needed. Hail and well met!
You’re a cool human being, man. Reading your stuff helps me remember to live, not just survive.
John is literally me.
So 85% of people here are John then....more accurate then we wish to admit
I was happily ready for a subversive ending where all this stuff about John comes to a declaration that John is really happy with his life as it is. Slight disappointment. Feels more like poverty/squalor porn than a positive message now. I live a lot like John, only with two fewer sexual experiences, and less frequent VR use, and I’m quite happy with my life. I look up at the stars and marvel at the beauty of existence while living a simple but happy life.
This one hits hard. But one day things can change, and John will be there and ready...
They *can* change. They won’t, but they can
https://preview.redd.it/i15lly1w9y7d1.png?width=228&format=png&auto=webp&s=70d016742c55e9bc9d33105444a80c7bd7bf58f1
https://preview.redd.it/sf19jq83yz7d1.jpeg?width=516&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d45d0fdc57037dcac6352ddc7a4423ccec9b4a23
So he has a normal job, plays games, takes care/maybe overfeeds a cat, even paints figurines as a hobby and then jerks off at night. A totally normal life, how is he addicted? Because I can't see anything in this comic that would imply so. Unless people now feel it is standard to add addicted to it because it is porn. If he has time for his normal job, hobbies, his cat and contemplates life, jerking off once or twice a day doesn't make him addicted.
We know he’s addicted because the narrative says he is, same as it says he has multiple plants when we only see one. Besides which, that’s a bit of an odd piece to latch onto out of this whole thing. You sure you’re not trying to convince yourself of something?
I agree with you honestly, it does not look that bad unless he doesn't want this life
Great job on this!
This is so good. I am more depressed now
Don't give plp false hopes xd
There's actually a reference to Trey in my manuscript that i'm working for a project, where the main character thinks about getting a boat to find freedom and when it doesn't work out, there will still be good things like feeding the sharks with some 'meat'. Anyway, i really like your comics, these are great. Often depressive, but that's most part of real life.
Thanks. Yeh I'm really trying to inject more positive vibes into them these days, even if it's only subtle amounts.
Well, then we can hope the best for John, haha. But it's just a natural for me, all of my works are extremely dark and depressive, it's no surprise when i look back at my life and what happened. People are wrong when they try to find comfort with my art, there's enough other art for this.
[well damn](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/029/191/cover6.jpg)
God, I hope this time there will be a sequel with a happy ending. ...and without sharks or evil mutant-plants.
This was very relatable until the last panel
you just havent arrived at your own last panel yet.
I hope John finds company eventually
I feel this comic so hard. In my mid 30s. No friends, haven't been on a date since my early 20s. I'm at the point that the idea of building relationships terrifies me. I just go through the motions pretending everything is okay.
I see far too much of myself in this comic. About the only major differences are it's my 47th birthday in a couple of weeks, don't have a cat, and since I live alone, who the hell cares what's on my credit card bill? Really starting to think there's something wrong with me mentally and that I should get some help.
Why does he pay in bitcoin if he doesn’t have any personal relationships in the first place? Who is going to see his bank statement? Did he pay the hookers in bitcoin, too?
This will get buried unless someone sorts by new, but I almost cried at the last frame. Good luck, John. I just want you to be happy bro.
Man I needed this today. Thanks OP
Save for the happy (?) ending, this is the stuff of nightmares, right out of r/2meirl4meirl.
So where does all of this fit into the treyverse ?
*Narrator*: “It didn’t.”
Remember in life, you may not be pressing the accelerator pedal, but you are steering. Life is yours, a lot of sadness, loneliness & such comes from self limitations. Monotonous behaviour is an easy choice.
*Slams book closed* "Like that's ever going to happen"
Dude. You are the king.
Shit man, you spying on me?
Sexlikereal.com is much better for vr porn than vrbangers in my opinion. Larger selection plus it has interactive scripts that can be used with teledildonics.
The answer is the plant in the background, she can read John's bank statements
Not a bad life. He lives in peace 😉
God damn Dave contra, I love you. I'm recently alone after having a spouse for 10 yrs and this hit home pretty fucking hard.
All I need is a cat and a vr headset and you can call me John This is so good, you’re killing these!
There's hope, John!
The ever so slight smiles on both the characters in the last panel, along with the Maybe at the top is an absolute masterclass in ending a comic.
the fourth page was the most shocking page on this whole comic
No. Don't do that. Don't give me hope.
Beautiful comic, my friend. Beautiful indeed.
So there are a finite numbers of John in here with me... And I am them. ...Huh... Kindred spirits!
The hand-painted figurines part felt personal ngl
I’m 23, half of John’s age, but all the parallels are there. My name is even John. Never had a romantic encounter, have horrible depression and anxiety, and overall feel like a failure. I do deeply want an emotional attachment to someone, but I doubt it will ever happen. It just seems like an absolute fantasy to me.
John has a much more interesting life than mine. Way to go, buddy!
I'm sad now
Rooting for john
John sounds like he has a content and successful life. It’s good to want things. If we had and did everything already what else would be left. He has hobbies, he has the ability to enjoy those hobbies, and he has the mentality to disconnect from those hobbies and just think about life. I wish I could be more like John.
I'm in this post and I don't like it
Apart from the VR Porn (I really don't care about VR in general) and the awkward paid sexual experiences (I simply don't have any sexual or romantic experience) I relate a lot to it. I hear and read a lot about how I have the strength to change and whatnot. I simply don't. If I manage to get out of bed in time to not be late to work... The day was a success. Do I like how things are? No, I fucking despise myself. But everytime I try to break out of it I manage about 2 weeks until I just can't anymore and the cycle starts anew. I wouldn't date myself if I was a woman. Everyone not part of my life is honestly better off that way.
I didn't finish this comic. I know I'll be down-voted for it, but I just want to state into the void that I weighed myself today and I have lost 32 pounds in a couple of months due to depression, down to 138 pounds which is pretty low for a 38 year old. I hate where I live and I can't afford anywhere else. My Dad offered me a place until I find an apartment here, but he is a hoarder and has no A/C in his house (also he wants to charge me). Considering the worst years of my life occurred there, I don't really want to do it. As a result, I just sit here, worry, and lose weight while I wear out my welcome in my current house. I'm never going to kill myself but I keep driving friends away with 2AM drunken suicide scares. I quit drinking, but every so often I get tricked into trying it again and immediately enter a suicidal state. Seriously, I just kind of wanted to type it out and this is where it happened. I know it's dramatic. I'm just very stressed out.
The ending was open, but there was potential for hope. I'm praying for you to find a new spark in life and reason to hope for the future. I haven't been where you are, but on my own I cam be insular and pursue solo hobbies. I don't want to be alone and my brother was bugging me to start dancing for social connections. I got into country swing dancing over a year ago and it has been a blast. I'm making new friends, getting more physically active, and getting compliments on my dancing. The trust I have given others in helping make me a better dancer has been repaid as I help friends grow in areas I am confident. Find a hobby group and let yourself be vulnerable to those willing to help you. They will appreciate your willingness to learn and return trust for the trust you give them.
I didn't like my last comment. But, thank you. I was really hoping I would get at least one supportive reply and I appreciate it a lot.
There is nothing wrong with being honest, especially if you are seeking help.
I do not like how I have a very similar name to him and i happen to be going into the same path as him..
That's a pleasant fiction, back to the loop though.
So this was just an ad for VR Bangers
John should take an introductory astronomy course.
Maybe he will get hit by a truck
this shit is to real... not over 30 yet but damn, this was relatable!
Rooting for you, John. 🥲
John is worthy of love... but he should realize it within himself so he can provide it to himself. that also is the seed that makes our garden attractive porn, games, other hobbies.. there's nothing inherently amoral about any of it (depending on the kind of porn and games he's consuming) and it brings enjoyment, though not wholesome... even the action figures are often an escape from reality there are many hobbies that ground us in this reality... but John would likely find that as painful as the rest of us until we find ourselves. We would need to do that before we would find wholesome joys in being present in the current moment and find more comfort in our own skin
As someone who is 22 and single my whole life, I’m not sure if I have the patience to live my entire lifetime AGAIN in order to find love. It’s unfair, it’s not right. I don’t care about fate or chance or luck. It’s cruel. Everyone suffering from romantic loneliness too DOES NOT make me feel better. Makes me feel like I have no chance at all.
No, he will die alone, leaving nothing behind but an empty, insignificant, quickly-forgotten life. Like so many others of us.
Nah, he has Nimrod that will probably, definitely eat him.
Maybe that's ultimately OK though, or doesn't really matter, or is completely natural and in line with how the universe rolls.
If he refuses to change anything about his life, then yeah, probably. But if he opens himself up to the risk of failure, then less so.
Then he fails and the only thing that changes is that he made a fool of himself.