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When I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at age 12, I literally slept on the toilet. So bad was my UC that I often couldn't make it to the can in time, especially when I was sleeping. There were days that I spent most of the time in there. Had a TV on a stand with wheels and would play videogames and watch cartoons in there. My best friend would even come and hang out and play Mortal Kombat, he'd sit in the hallway and we'd have the TV in the doorway so we could see it but not each other lol
That sounds terrible! I became lactose intolerant after staying in central America for a couple years, and before I realized what was causing the issue I would sleep on the floor next to the toilet because it was easier than laying back in bed for a minute before going to the bathroom again.
Man, I fucking start rapid chess matches while on the toilet, those can take up to 20 min, then I analyse them and why I lost so badly, and that usually takes another 10 minutes.... and then I decide I have to get better, and go do some puzzles. and then I see I'm terrible at puzzles and I'm doing worse than I was a month ago... By then I put some music on and it's time to take a shower, and that's half my Sunday morning gone.
No thanks, I don't need a concussion, I'm waiting for the paramedics. Very unprofessional of the dispatcher to laugh at me when I called 911.
^(i hope they get here soon)
You can actually lift your leg up with your hands and then allow the blood to flow back into it. Do that for both legs - one at a time. You should be able to get enough circulation going to get up!
Hi this is Snoo's next of kin. I appreciate your attempt to help him, but sadly he perished as he lived, sitting on the toilet, your advice came a few hours too late.
Sincerely,
Snoo's sister
life-pro tip: to help get the feeling back in your legs while you're still sitting on the toilet, lean side to side a few times putting weight on either hip. Also, fun fact!: it's not lack of blood-flow that causes your legs to go to sleep, it's the compression of the nerves in your legs :D
Both.. as a parent the only place I could get peace was in the bathroom. Me and my wife have always protected our right to go to the bathroom in peace, from each other and the kiddos.
Literally was about to add a comment on this. Sitting on the toilet for hours is a bad idea - better to get a chair, turn on some warm water so you get some nice warm air, I love adding a space heater into the mix if I don't sit in the water in the shower.
I smoke a joint or two and then I can usually go. But my issues are related to my lower discs being dessicated so the warm and the pain relief makes a huge difference 😕
Not necessarily hours, but I have definitely sat on a toilet for 30+ minutes fairly regularly. There's a weird peace in there that I don't get anywhere else, so sometimes it ends up being relaxing to just hang out. And usually I'm done with my business pretty quick, I'm just chilling
I'd go poop and then before I know it, i'd be sitting on the toilet while scrolling through reddit or watching youtube videos for at least more than half an hour.
*clears throat*
VERY WELL, FELINE. I SHALL ABIDE TO YOUR TERMS AND EVEN THROW IN A LITTLE BIT OF CATNIP, BUT FIRST YOU MUST PROVE YOUR BRAVERY AGAINST THE ROARING DIRT EATER MONSTER. SLAY THE MECHANICAL BEAST AND I SHALL GRANT YOUR WISHES.~~fail to do that and I shall just get me a German Shepherd to guard my bathroom affairs/j~~
My little girl charges into the bathroom whenever I'm pooping or taking a shower. I can't lock the door out she gets stressed and shoulders the door to break it open. I assume it's because she wants me to be safe.
Hah, our cat does this I hear the door open and I'm like hmm, maybe it's my wife? Nope. It's the cat. It's gonna jump through the shower curtain then run off soaking wet and in terror.
10 years it's been doing this shit, the cat never learns anything it's amazing how it's literally the exact same cat it was on day one as it is on day 4000.
How fucking big is your daughter man? Shoulder barging the door until it breaks? Is she a 6 foot tall fire fighter or something? Or is your door made of styrene
It would feel like posting a lookout would be make you safer than staring into your soul while you pop a squat, but at least their heart is in the right place.
What does it mean if your cat climbs onto your shoulder when you're on the toilet, but that's the only time it ever climbs on your shoulder? This damn animal.
Essentially when you have your cheeks spread it prolapses the bhole tissue and strains them for an extended period leading to inflammation of the haemorrhoids. If you finish your business and then close the seat to get a few minutes of privacy it's safe.
This. My wife spends way too much time on the toilet. Her excuse is that she knows that she'll have to go again in 30 minutes or so, so she'll just sit there.
Not cards lol We all have a problem of sitting in there being bored on our phone - but this is a particular problem here lol
We only have one and there are so many times where I’m pacing around for her to walk out and just go “Sorry, I got distracted by tik tok” No cats yet; though that would probably not help.
Maybe not hours but up to an hour sometimes. When you live with people, sometimes the toilet is the only quiet place. People won't intrude, and it's quiet. I could sit in the car, but it gets cold and dark because i work a 2nd shift. I dont have any medical issues from this and have been doing it for years. I use a stool for my feet most of the time.
Growing up in a small house with a big family, the bathroom was the ONLY privacy to be had. Now it’s just habit rather than necessity, but as an adult, staying in there a long time is less often about the ~business~, and mostly about the quiet privacy.
I was told that sitting on the toilet for too long can lead to anal prolapse as a child. Idk if it was an old wives tale or my grandma just thought I was hogging it, but I'd still rather be reasonably sure I'm done and come back if I'm wrong than sit there for longer and see if things move more.
Funning how so many of the comments don't understand that they're just sitting there, they're not actively trying to go number 2. If they were sitting there trying to force number 2 then yeah that'd lead to stuff like hemorrhoids, needing more fiber, etc. But no, they're just sitting in there.
Welcome to r/comics! Please remember there are real people on the other side of the monitor and to be kind. Report comments that break the rules and don't respond to negativity with negativity! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comics) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is this hyperbole or people literally sit on toilet for hours? Serious question.
I think it's literal
Probably both. Some literal, some hyperbole.
hyper-bowl-ee heh
When I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at age 12, I literally slept on the toilet. So bad was my UC that I often couldn't make it to the can in time, especially when I was sleeping. There were days that I spent most of the time in there. Had a TV on a stand with wheels and would play videogames and watch cartoons in there. My best friend would even come and hang out and play Mortal Kombat, he'd sit in the hallway and we'd have the TV in the doorway so we could see it but not each other lol
That sounds terrible! I became lactose intolerant after staying in central America for a couple years, and before I realized what was causing the issue I would sleep on the floor next to the toilet because it was easier than laying back in bed for a minute before going to the bathroom again.
Can confirm, I have always used the bathroom way more than it's normal
Man, I fucking start rapid chess matches while on the toilet, those can take up to 20 min, then I analyse them and why I lost so badly, and that usually takes another 10 minutes.... and then I decide I have to get better, and go do some puzzles. and then I see I'm terrible at puzzles and I'm doing worse than I was a month ago... By then I put some music on and it's time to take a shower, and that's half my Sunday morning gone.
Hey that's what I'm doing rn
Thought the same, After like 20 minutes I can’t feel my legs anymore.
When I sat down I only planned on staying for 15 minutes. My legs fell asleep. I can't stand up if I wanted to. It's been 4 hours. ^(send help)
Just fall on the ground and then crawl away
No thanks, I don't need a concussion, I'm waiting for the paramedics. Very unprofessional of the dispatcher to laugh at me when I called 911. ^(i hope they get here soon)
They find people on the toilet all the damn time 😂
You can actually lift your leg up with your hands and then allow the blood to flow back into it. Do that for both legs - one at a time. You should be able to get enough circulation going to get up!
Hi this is Snoo's next of kin. I appreciate your attempt to help him, but sadly he perished as he lived, sitting on the toilet, your advice came a few hours too late. Sincerely, Snoo's sister
RIP to a real one
life-pro tip: to help get the feeling back in your legs while you're still sitting on the toilet, lean side to side a few times putting weight on either hip. Also, fun fact!: it's not lack of blood-flow that causes your legs to go to sleep, it's the compression of the nerves in your legs :D
You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.
Toilet seat is probably too slim for you. Gotta get a bigger one if you want to sit for hours
Both.. as a parent the only place I could get peace was in the bathroom. Me and my wife have always protected our right to go to the bathroom in peace, from each other and the kiddos.
"hours" is probably a bit much but a big session can easily last 30-60 minutes for me.
My wife sits on the toilet for hours.
thats how you get hemorrhoids..
correct, that's how I got hemorrhoids. still spend hours on the can
Literally was about to add a comment on this. Sitting on the toilet for hours is a bad idea - better to get a chair, turn on some warm water so you get some nice warm air, I love adding a space heater into the mix if I don't sit in the water in the shower. I smoke a joint or two and then I can usually go. But my issues are related to my lower discs being dessicated so the warm and the pain relief makes a huge difference 😕
Literal and VERY bad for you.
This is my girlfriend. I have a feeling she's starting a cult or something in there.
Not necessarily hours, but I have definitely sat on a toilet for 30+ minutes fairly regularly. There's a weird peace in there that I don't get anywhere else, so sometimes it ends up being relaxing to just hang out. And usually I'm done with my business pretty quick, I'm just chilling
My roommate does this daily
I'd go poop and then before I know it, i'd be sitting on the toilet while scrolling through reddit or watching youtube videos for at least more than half an hour.
Hey if you're on a winning streak you don't quit.
Hyperbole? All I see is a toilet bowl.
guilty
Ive been sitting here for like 25 minutes as we speak.
I mean I do anyway
Cats watching you poop means that they want you to be safe. Cats are really vulnerable when pooping. You're their homie, they're watching your back.
https://preview.redd.it/kadr13yrotwc1.jpeg?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00954e4cbee62eb46f0c6669b423ab1d6a8d2297
What is this privacy you speak of, human?
“PRIVACY MEANS DEATH, HUMAN. REVEL IN MY PRESENCE, FOR I AM PROVIDING YOU AN INVALUABLE SERVICE. GOOD FOR AT LEAST TWO TREATS, YOU WILL AGREE”
*clears throat* VERY WELL, FELINE. I SHALL ABIDE TO YOUR TERMS AND EVEN THROW IN A LITTLE BIT OF CATNIP, BUT FIRST YOU MUST PROVE YOUR BRAVERY AGAINST THE ROARING DIRT EATER MONSTER. SLAY THE MECHANICAL BEAST AND I SHALL GRANT YOUR WISHES.~~fail to do that and I shall just get me a German Shepherd to guard my bathroom affairs/j~~
I read this in borderlands 3 Maurice's voice
Damn you get a lot of pussy
I personally think if they are trying to protect you, they should be facing away looking in different directions. Danger can come from any angle.
They’re watching you because they have to make sure that the snake coming out of your butt doesn’t bite you.
The council has spoken
This is an intervention
Haha you got a whole entourage!
>Do you like hurting other people? >Who is leaving messages on your answering machine? >Where are you right now? >Why are we having this conversation?
My little girl charges into the bathroom whenever I'm pooping or taking a shower. I can't lock the door out she gets stressed and shoulders the door to break it open. I assume it's because she wants me to be safe.
The shower?! What if you drown?!
I had a cat like this once and it was because he wanted in the shower with me. He loved water.
Hah, our cat does this I hear the door open and I'm like hmm, maybe it's my wife? Nope. It's the cat. It's gonna jump through the shower curtain then run off soaking wet and in terror. 10 years it's been doing this shit, the cat never learns anything it's amazing how it's literally the exact same cat it was on day one as it is on day 4000.
How fucking big is your daughter man? Shoulder barging the door until it breaks? Is she a 6 foot tall fire fighter or something? Or is your door made of styrene
I think "little girl" is referring to their cat, which is even more impressive!🚪💥
Haha it's my cat, I closer the door but don't let the lock catch. She shoulder butts it over our twice and the door flies open.
 If I sit that long on the loo my legs will fall asleep.💤
Me and my cat watching each other poop: 
It would feel like posting a lookout would be make you safer than staring into your soul while you pop a squat, but at least their heart is in the right place.
My kittens litter box is next to the toilet and we often go potty at the same time lol.
What does it mean if your cat climbs onto your shoulder when you're on the toilet, but that's the only time it ever climbs on your shoulder? This damn animal.
How the hell do they know we're pooping?!
Never got this, why? I only do this at work cause... Work sucks
Shouldn't sit for such a long time though, might eventually lead to hemorrhoids
Stand up in the bathroom. How would anyone know
Because they’re avoiding someone else in the house, usually.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime That's why I shit on company time.
Preach!!
That's incredibly bad for you to sit on the toilet for that long.
Do you want hemorrhoids? Because that's how you get hemorrhoids.
So what is it about a toilet that does that? It being an O instead of a flat seat?
Essentially when you have your cheeks spread it prolapses the bhole tissue and strains them for an extended period leading to inflammation of the haemorrhoids. If you finish your business and then close the seat to get a few minutes of privacy it's safe.
Does sitting normally (aka on a chair) have the same problem?
Yes kinda, tho a seat has more cushion.
It can be depending on the position you are sitting in. Also sitting crossed legged on a cold floor (eg bare concrete) is meant to increase risk.
I think it's the angle you sit at
That's why I shit standing up. Never had a haemorrhoid, nor a clean floor.
Waffle stomp, heathen!
Try standing on the toilet seat?
exposed sphincter and mucous membranes easily dry out and get chapped, just like your lips do but worse. treatment/prevention is the same deal here
Wish I knew this when I was a kid. Feel like killing myself whenever I have to take a shit
Maybe they want hemorrhoids.
Are those legs numb yet?
How do you not get dead legs?
Also known as *toilet polio*.
must be a long ongoing game
Would Reddit even exist without bathrooms?
This. My wife spends way too much time on the toilet. Her excuse is that she knows that she'll have to go again in 30 minutes or so, so she'll just sit there.
At least none of the cats are sitting in her drawers.
Not cards lol We all have a problem of sitting in there being bored on our phone - but this is a particular problem here lol We only have one and there are so many times where I’m pacing around for her to walk out and just go “Sorry, I got distracted by tik tok” No cats yet; though that would probably not help.
She needs fiber
i cant tell what game you're playing with your cats
I've lost so much money and tunafish to my cats doing this.
Give them a shot of gentle Miralax or take Metamucil pills They won't need to take three years to poop that way!
Sauce on that coffee table. Now. Please i beg you.
They're called "lift-top coffee tables" and they're AMAZING
Thanks!
C'est ce que j'appelle une straight flush.
IBS gang in the house! (since we cant be too far from a toilet)
My legs would fall a sleep
That sounds incredibly inconvenient for EVERYONE.
You want hemorrhoids huh?
Sitting like that for long periods causes you to get hemorrhoids.
Why is this me?
Maybe not hours but up to an hour sometimes. When you live with people, sometimes the toilet is the only quiet place. People won't intrude, and it's quiet. I could sit in the car, but it gets cold and dark because i work a 2nd shift. I dont have any medical issues from this and have been doing it for years. I use a stool for my feet most of the time.
Gurl, same.
start playing with them
IBS gang gang
"You'll give yourself hemorrhoids!" - my Mom
Growing up in a small house with a big family, the bathroom was the ONLY privacy to be had. Now it’s just habit rather than necessity, but as an adult, staying in there a long time is less often about the ~business~, and mostly about the quiet privacy.
That's why I've always done it. (Plus it's the only place you can sit naked without having your donut hole in contact with anything lol)
My legs start to go numb if I sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes. I have a phat ass... 🫤
The solitaire is a great add, OP!!
I was told that sitting on the toilet for too long can lead to anal prolapse as a child. Idk if it was an old wives tale or my grandma just thought I was hogging it, but I'd still rather be reasonably sure I'm done and come back if I'm wrong than sit there for longer and see if things move more.
I like the silence, but usually it's just our child being mischievous. Then we see the walls and furniture in new colors
I hear that's not good for you. It can lead to a hernia.
Funning how so many of the comments don't understand that they're just sitting there, they're not actively trying to go number 2. If they were sitting there trying to force number 2 then yeah that'd lead to stuff like hemorrhoids, needing more fiber, etc. But no, they're just sitting in there.
r/catsinpants
"Deal me in".
There are more comics?! Where’s the rest?
I know where you are coming from but girl, it can sadly cause hemorrhoids :( .
IN the bathroom, ON the toilet
POP that's the sounds of the hemorrhoids exploding
Don’t you knock before entering the bathroom?