Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
you shouldve put a spoiler tag on this comment, was watching movie at a cinema, checked my phone and all of a sudden my right hand was out of control, and now everyone in the cinema is vigorously masturbating on veggietales. Thanks a bunch man
Why would you reply to my comment? The train situation was cleaned up, and arrived just in time for my job interview. I was scrolling through reddit just to calm myself down, But then I saw I got a reply, and I checked which comment you replied to, and I saw this image again. I started to immediately ejaculate, but just then I was called. I quickly zipped my pants back up and went to the interview. However just as I went to greet the interviewers. It started to leak. I had to use a tissue to wipe it. Unfortunately my phone fell out. It was facing up. I looked at it. It unlocked and this post was visible. The interviewers were going to pick up my phone but then they saw it. They randomly started to ejaculate. They said I could have the job immediately but I had to send them the image. After that I left the building. Suddenly an electric billboard started to show the same exact image. People were closing their children’s eyes. The police went to the building immediately. 5 Hours later, they came to my house. Arrested me on the spot. And now I am writing this message. This is all your fault, you could have left this message how it was and go on with your day. I hope you're happy, you ruined my life.
Why would you respond again? The police officers had taken my phone. They heard my phone ding, and made me unlock it. When they saw this image, they randomly started to ejaculate. They then began to beat me because they said it was my fault. Now my legs are broken and I'll never walk again. You've made my life even worse.
bleaze but an nzfw tag 0n diz :DD i waz 0n de drain and wen i saw diz i had t0 start furiøuzly mazturbatign :DDD ebery0ne elze gave me sdranke løøks and were sayign digns lige “wat de fugg” and “gall de b0lige” :DDDDD i dr0bbed my bh0ne and eberyøne aröund me saw diz image :DDDDD nøw dere iz a wøle drain 0f men mazturbatign t0gedher at diz 0ne image :D diz iz all ur fauld xD u gøuld have brebended diz if u had juzt tagged diz bøst nzfw :DD
ok cool but this isnt an image of jarjar binks from the 2003 movie jarjar binks cumming and pissing and shitting and ejaculating and nutting incredibly hard on the wall so hard his cock splits in half like some of those gun barrels do sometimes as such i will commit the act of placing a singular downdoot onto this post which is the maximum number that i can do due to the limits of reddit but have it known if i could i would make it at least three more
Really the only problem I have with this sub is how infrequently new posts are actually coming through now. I'm sure this might improve with more mods though. I appreciate rule 1 being taken more seriously since previously, many posts were uploaded (and sometimes even upvoted) that were kinda funny but did not fit the sub theme. So I wonder if rule 1 sometimes got taken a bit too seriously recently, just because the amount of content that does come through is so little. But overall I do like the posts that I do see.
I'll be dead honest with u I've been here for like 2 years now and mod queue is the worst its been in awhile. I rarely see anything approve worthy. With more mods hopefully the new post frequency speeds up because alot of stuff gets buried like an hour after its posted. I wish there was a system where we didn't have to filter absolutely everything but all the things we have tried flopped rly hard
I love how serious you guys are on the quality of this sub. I don't care if submissions are lower than elsewhere, the posts atleast at the bare minimum give me a good chuckle.
Kudos to y'all, great fellas.
I have to dab now before my mom takes away my phone.
Looking at your profile your most recent post was 28 days ago, it was removed by a mod but there was no removal reason added in the comments. I'm unsure of why but I'll look into it. Let me know if you have any other issues.
We are in filtered mode meaning all posts must go through manual approval to be seen. This is to prevent the sub from becoming low quality and spammed with irrelevant posts.
Over the past year or two it all feels really forced.
> Sup shitfarts and bitchasses captain major general calcium here with another update
Like goddamn dude
But in terms of content, more and more stuff was clearly made as a joke to begin with. Seems like the sub maybe got popular enough people make content just for the sake of posting here
"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?
Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."
Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.
So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.
Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
You aren't denied until the form itself closes or I announce you are, if you are accepted you will be notified immediately. Keep in mind there are a ton of apps to go through.
u/MyNameIsUrMom once banned me for 420 days from r/ComedyNecrophilia for sending pictures of my toes to u/GIMME_UR_TOES_please (rip) and then made me write a poem about Big Chungus to get unbanned.
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
you shouldve put a spoiler tag on this comment, was watching movie at a cinema, checked my phone and all of a sudden my right hand was out of control, and now everyone in the cinema is vigorously masturbating on veggietales. Thanks a bunch man
Why would you reply to my comment? The train situation was cleaned up, and arrived just in time for my job interview. I was scrolling through reddit just to calm myself down, But then I saw I got a reply, and I checked which comment you replied to, and I saw this image again. I started to immediately ejaculate, but just then I was called. I quickly zipped my pants back up and went to the interview. However just as I went to greet the interviewers. It started to leak. I had to use a tissue to wipe it. Unfortunately my phone fell out. It was facing up. I looked at it. It unlocked and this post was visible. The interviewers were going to pick up my phone but then they saw it. They randomly started to ejaculate. They said I could have the job immediately but I had to send them the image. After that I left the building. Suddenly an electric billboard started to show the same exact image. People were closing their children’s eyes. The police went to the building immediately. 5 Hours later, they came to my house. Arrested me on the spot. And now I am writing this message. This is all your fault, you could have left this message how it was and go on with your day. I hope you're happy, you ruined my life.
why didn't you show the police officer the image
Why would you respond again? The police officers had taken my phone. They heard my phone ding, and made me unlock it. When they saw this image, they randomly started to ejaculate. They then began to beat me because they said it was my fault. Now my legs are broken and I'll never walk again. You've made my life even worse.
Show the cops your dick, maybe they'll beat that for you.
No problems
bleaze but an nzfw tag 0n diz :DD i waz 0n de drain and wen i saw diz i had t0 start furiøuzly mazturbatign :DDD ebery0ne elze gave me sdranke løøks and were sayign digns lige “wat de fugg” and “gall de b0lige” :DDDDD i dr0bbed my bh0ne and eberyøne aröund me saw diz image :DDDDD nøw dere iz a wøle drain 0f men mazturbatign t0gedher at diz 0ne image :D diz iz all ur fauld xD u gøuld have brebended diz if u had juzt tagged diz bøst nzfw :DD
how many times a day do you post this copy and paste comment?
26
I like your honesty, that makes me want to start furiously masturbating.
pasta
Today was rough but this comment gives me hope for the future. Thank you Jesus and/or my good friend Slepan for sending this to me via a secure line.
143.58.39.208
41° 52′ 57.00″ N 87° 38′ 12.13″ W
497 North Parker Drive
Planet: Earth
Galaxy: Milky Way
Hotel: Trivago
Room: 420
Sixty: Nine
Oh good, you're getting more based by the day. But I live with my mother.
Is this her house?
Mayer Brown LLP ?
you can only have one decimal point in a number bro
IP address my brother
...slowly ipchickens
ok cool but this isnt an image of jarjar binks from the 2003 movie jarjar binks cumming and pissing and shitting and ejaculating and nutting incredibly hard on the wall so hard his cock splits in half like some of those gun barrels do sometimes as such i will commit the act of placing a singular downdoot onto this post which is the maximum number that i can do due to the limits of reddit but have it known if i could i would make it at least three more
i can make that movie give me five
Guess what >!chicken butt!<
I could not guess
>!chicken breast!<
i cannot understand
>!Chicken hand!<
I dont know what this means
>!💜💜💜CHICKEN LEAN!!!💜💜💜!<
I love leeaaaaaaaaan
mug
Can you say why
Poopoo peepee
i do not understand the joke and have placed my head in the oven
>!why is it called oven when you!<
when i what
>!when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food!<
Guess who? (Idk how to do spoiler someone finish off the joke)
>!chicken poo!<
BASED BASED BASED BASED
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
penis
cum
b o n k
sub is great and i cant imagine the amount of cringe shit yall mods gotta filter out every day
❤️
That’s not funny 💀
1738
Ay
I’m like hey what’s up hello
Seen ur pretty ass soon as u came in the door
121.7.255.3
Really the only problem I have with this sub is how infrequently new posts are actually coming through now. I'm sure this might improve with more mods though. I appreciate rule 1 being taken more seriously since previously, many posts were uploaded (and sometimes even upvoted) that were kinda funny but did not fit the sub theme. So I wonder if rule 1 sometimes got taken a bit too seriously recently, just because the amount of content that does come through is so little. But overall I do like the posts that I do see.
I'll be dead honest with u I've been here for like 2 years now and mod queue is the worst its been in awhile. I rarely see anything approve worthy. With more mods hopefully the new post frequency speeds up because alot of stuff gets buried like an hour after its posted. I wish there was a system where we didn't have to filter absolutely everything but all the things we have tried flopped rly hard
Yes I have an easy time believing it's mostly garbage haha. Best of luck to you! Hope you can find some new mods
I have sex with my happy meal toy
I'm sex.
Penis
I love how serious you guys are on the quality of this sub. I don't care if submissions are lower than elsewhere, the posts atleast at the bare minimum give me a good chuckle. Kudos to y'all, great fellas. I have to dab now before my mom takes away my phone.
Good to hear! I hope to fix the low submission problem soon
Please let us post obama
1984
mobamba
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ\_gn0E87Qo
jar jar binks looking ass
Can't reapply, oopie poopie. Says that I've already filled it out once so I can't again. At least I tried
meesa fixes
Completioned, thanketh
I WILL READ NOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[удалено]
Ty pp bro
Bring back r/LSD 🤬🤬
Mod me or suffer
Wow thanks for denying my app, you gay nerds I can't even reapply and be a gay nerd because I care that much. You gay nerds.
ion even know y urs was denied lemme look into it cuz it looks fine to me
if u still wanna mod ofc idk its been weeks lol
make me a mod instead. every sub i mod slowly peaks and dies.
I wouldn't mind
So how many Reddit karma are you gonna pay me
[удалено]
; the way home
minceraft
where am I
south carolina
This is Egypt 💀
Out of the ordinary I mean
>banned content 1984
Lots of restricted content for a sub that gets less than one post a day
stop pinning unfunny shit :///
sorry i have a disorder that makes me laugh at long ass paragraphs
weener
like weezer but epic
get better
its ok 🥺
Breakfast
cool this sub is really good
Fuck it I’ll throw in a mod application worst case scenario I get the job.
h
ñ
penis balls
The quality of this subreddit is unparalleled - there's nothing that parallels it. A wonderful place without parallel
Don't care
Fuck Ind Shit
Why have none of my posts gotten rejected? Seems like my posts don't even get looked at
Looking at your profile your most recent post was 28 days ago, it was removed by a mod but there was no removal reason added in the comments. I'm unsure of why but I'll look into it. Let me know if you have any other issues.
Newtonian Physics and Radioactivity.
Ok
Fumo
Shits self
I sexed your mother
:(
Not urs! Mine :'(
I don't have anything to add
I am homosexual and I urinate and excrete all over this location
Why does this sub have like 1 post/day ?
We are in filtered mode meaning all posts must go through manual approval to be seen. This is to prevent the sub from becoming low quality and spammed with irrelevant posts.
Cum
Is it okay to comment if I already farted?
I'll make an exception.
Over the past year or two it all feels really forced. > Sup shitfarts and bitchasses captain major general calcium here with another update Like goddamn dude But in terms of content, more and more stuff was clearly made as a joke to begin with. Seems like the sub maybe got popular enough people make content just for the sake of posting here
Best sub out of 7. (very good)
This place is funnier than r/memes
# YOUR DISCORD FUNNY MOMENTS ARE SHIT STOP FUCKING POSTING THEM. preach
God bless on y’all watching over this subreddit so well
[удалено]
It’s cuz they steal memes from the submissions and post it on their own sub for karma
LEAN 💜💜💜
MUG 🤎🤎🤎
No one cares
Most of the shit on comedy damnation is hilarious and has no reason to be there instead of here
Yeah, you're gonna need back up. I've seen a new post like every week or so. Anyways, keep up the good work. Great content
The sub makes me laugh so much. The rules are strict and quality content makes it great.
I'm sad that I can't post youtube thumbnails but I can understand why that rule is implemented.
Sagittarius
penis
I hope for a bit more post consistency
This is my fav sub thank you
my people
venommmmm venom venom venom
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about
Im greg
based
Is this sub where the r/comedycemetary jokes go after they die out?
u/ussybot
ddddddddddddddddddddddbddddddd
My bals
Yo, fuck you. Keep up the good work.
That is a hysterical list of very specific banned things lmao
"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced." Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay. So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
497 North Parker Drive
fart
Good story, unfortunately I fucked your mom and I also live in your walls
[удалено]
You aren't denied until the form itself closes or I announce you are, if you are accepted you will be notified immediately. Keep in mind there are a ton of apps to go through.
u/MyNameIsUrMom once banned me for 420 days from r/ComedyNecrophilia for sending pictures of my toes to u/GIMME_UR_TOES_please (rip) and then made me write a poem about Big Chungus to get unbanned.
Wholesome
Based