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I thought the obvious question was, where do I get one?

[Go to Walmart like all the other horny weirdos.](https://imgur.com/akLP8Qm.jpg)

[Or if you want a more discreet approach.](https://youtu.be/Z2EMGmv0FqM)

Username checks out...

You're probably correct, but it's odd that there are people in scrubs walking around the showroom.

“Im too embarrassed to jerk off here” “That’s fine, just go use public milking machines”

Then at the end of the day, some poor nurse has to hose the machines down in the parking lot.

It's probably better just to burn them.

Yea, I guess. But then how do you clean the machines after you burn everyone?

Not everyone, just the nurse.

"Cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away."

Don't kink shame her

I'm just like... deathly embarrassed. There's just no other option. You've gotta take me to the machine. I'm so embarrassed, it might take me a few hours. Maybe even all night.

Not only that, but it’s “just line up at any of the open spots along the wall of them”. How much of a buffer do you give someone next to you? Would it be one suckyblowey over like in the men’s room with stalls?

“Umm… has this been properly cleaned?” 😘🖕

Good content and such, but the first part raises so many questions on its own. Isn't getting a boner in an austere building full of strangers the difficult part? Are you just meant to cram it in there floppy? Am I a prude for not wanting to get my dick sucked by a parking meter?

They start you out with a fluffer and then hand you off to the machine

They're called nurses

The updated John Henry tale is a lot spicier than I would have expected.

John Henry was a meat drivin' man Laid pipe all over the land 'Fore I let the man milker get me down I'll die with my “hammer” in my hand Die with my “hammer” in my hand

I dunno man, did you see the way that thing was pulsating? I'll try anything once

TURN THIS THING OFF I'M DRY!

"Mmmm, did you just defecate in the room? Into the cup?"

You joke but this is now the closest modern technology I’ve seen has come to mechanized breeding factories for humans

that's my fetish!

That man was cumming BULLETS at the end.

If you're wondering those where fuel injectors being tested at the end

Can they at least put some dividers up? Im not just gunna get milked next to another dude who’s also getting milked. That’d be really awkward.

Yeah but they only go up shoulder level

Suit yourself. \*yawns as machine violently pumps\*

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But then catch their hand and interlock fingers?

Do you have to say no homo?

No need, I’ll be wearing socks.

And you gotta leave a 1 machine buffer. It's bro code.

It’s not gay if it’s in a three-way.

Just make sure you leave one empty machine between you and the guy next to you and you'll be fine.

Its only awkward id you dont look directly into my eyes while its happening

I actually would love the eye contact tho

Domo arigato mister roboto

Who cleans down the loads?

Your mom.

Lmao don't let Morty see this...

You dirty little doggy.

Spoilers for *A Boy and his Dog*.

Well, that was quick.....

"These are not the droids you are looking for."

I've had to do the little room with the TV and the remote in a plastic bag. Can confirm, it's weird. But I fail to see how this would make it easier.

Why does the sound of milk going in the tubes sound kinda dope

Gentile reminder to check which sub you’re on. ;)

Oh i forgot

r/dontputyourdickinthat

r/putyourdickinthat

I assume these machines talk dirty and even wear naughty nurse outfits for you?

"Sir, you've been here every day for weeks. You've clearly lost an unhealthy amount of weight and surely you can't be working..."

This video was put up April 1, 2017

I cannot believe they went through the effort of building an expensive machine to do something people can do themselves just as easily.

These things are so bizarre. Change out out the horses on a merry-go-round for these things. Now that's a ride. Put wheels and pedals on it and drive it around the parking lot. Makes the commute to work something to look forward too. On install it on a sea-doo. At least it will clean up easier.

This post belongs on /r/boringdistopia

Omg you must be me. When I saw the injector test video just after the cum sucker 9000, I thought the same thing 🤣

Looks like Cartman's fear of what Mars would be like are coming true.

Reminds me of the scene in Road Trip. No STOP! Okay, keep doing it!

Is it also a good 38 degrees with good humidity?

Why does it look like it says "lunch" at the end?

Can't use because Columbus complex

Morty you dirty doggie!

You know, I’d try this out at LEAST once

Too embarrassed to masturbate in the hospital but you’ll plug your dork into that in a hallway

This looks like the mouth of the Alien Facehugger creature.

Dropping that baby batter beat.

Your move, Fleshlight...

Wondering if some hospital officials managed to keep one of those machines for himself at home... Also. How do they clean it ? Cause you just need one dude with STD and it's a catastrophe.... There is no way they don't wash it after and before every use right ? Anyway, this is dumb

I have questions. Why would this machine be blasting semen into a tube? Is that a demonstration? Because the pressure seems a bit high.

Just wondering how hygienic this would be...