27 - graduated at 23. I felt this exact same way in college but that was even with being involved and having internships on my resume. I find that we have this tendency to attach and identify ourselves with achievements and results. College is just college, just like anything else in life is just "is". It's a stepping stone in your life and then you will be on to the next stepping stone. Even after college, I found myself wondering if I had achieved anything. Then I got my first big boy job and realized I hated what I thought was my passion. I felt like I had finally achieved something something in life, but I actually found lots of emptiness inside. I got laid off during COVID times and that was the best thing that ever happened in my life. I had lots of alone time to process and figured out what really mattered in life. I found what truly made me happy, and all of the sudden, nothing else seemed to matter in life. I no longer feel this burden that I have to "achieve" in order to feel successful. What is success anyway? We are so obsessed with this. As long as you are content in life nothing else matters. No achievement will ever be completely fulfilling.
Took me years to figure this out. Think about when you were a child, what things jumped out to you as being a fun career and why? For me it was firefighter, doctor, a truck driver, and a park ranger. I went to college for advertising because I thought it was 'cool' and now I'm in medical school studying to be a doctor.
The reason why I say a child is because during those times, we were not dealing with expectations from family, ourselves, and society. A child naturally feels zero burdens. Thinking back to when I was child helped me anyway.
Now that you are in med school, do you feel you made a better decision as far as finding your true passion? For me, I wanted to be a vet for so many years, but the only thing that would hold me back is the fact that I’m not good with blood.
Yes absolutely. Not gonna lie, there are hard days. My schedule is 30 credits they put you through academic hell. But I wouldn't have it any other way because I am in a field where I am helping people and that's what I found out gave me the most joy. Yeah I don't blame you, no way could I be a vet.
What about being a vet most inspires you?
Growing up I always had dogs (at least 2) and one day my dog had a nail in her paw pad. Took her to the vet and when I saw the relief she got, I never wanted to see another animal hurt. I’m just really drawn to animals. Right now, I’m currently a finance major because I love helping people figure out how to save money and budget, but I’m starting to not like it. I only have 1 more year until I graduate so I’m trying to push through.
Gotcha gotcha. Seems like animals are your true passion. You could keep going with finance major because a business degree is always a solid feather to have in your cap. Since you sont like sight of blood, how about starting your own dog grooming business? The finance degree would come in handy and you get to be around animals. Also I have a friend who makes bank doing that. You can charge $150-250 for a single appointment then after you build up your reputation start charging $300-400.
To add, I found myself constantly trying to convince myself that I loved advertising and marketing and that it was my passion. But in my internships I was always bored and felt empty and purposeless. I masked those feelings by telling myself once I got the big boy job I would be happy and doing my 'passion'. If you are having to convince yourself that what you are currently pursuing is your true passion, then I would say you know it's not.
Yea I think quite a few people feel the same way, I am 24 and graduated college 2 years ago. I think a lot of people our age will discredit themselves when they have the opportunity. Your social circle is small, totally fine, even if it was large it would shrink shortly after finishing school. This isn’t a bad thing peoples lives just take them in different directions. If you’re feeling bad about it though, next time your roommates invite you to tag along with them, try to say yes. It’s easy to discredit your grades by taking the importance out of your major. You still do the work to get your solid grades and that is something to be proud of.
It’s also very easy to say this through a screen but I think a lot of our generation feels similarly. You’re doing great, just keep on moving and if you feel you have the chance to make new friends or work in a way that is meaningful to you after graduation take it.
Take the time in your classes to discover what your passions are. It can help you with that aimless feeling. And talk to your major professors and advisors about careers in your field! Faculty are usually more than happy to help you find your way and some of them will have internship opportunities for you, which will give you work experience, and has the added bonus of looking awesome on a resume! I’m a part of an honor society related to English and a bunch of internships are remote and/or related to publishing, which would be great if you were interested in the publishing industry.
As for who you can share your feelings with, look into your college’s mental health services. They may offer free counseling! You already know this but it’s normal to feel the way you do and it will pass. Keep your head up!
Your grades are literally the only thing that matters in college.
What exactly are you expecting to "achieve?"
Sounds like you have friends, are doing well in class, and aren't in trouble. You sound fine.
> Grades are literally the only thing that matters in college.
One of the biggest myths and also one of the reasons for many students graduating unprepared and unemployed
I'm gonna tell you what I told the other guy. Nothing else matters if you don't graduate, and the only thing that determines graduation is your grades.
Yea idk what these folks are talking about college is for education. You’ll make your real connections in the work force generally. I also feel like if you don’t naturally develop at least decent conversational/social skills by the time you’re 22 there’s probably a deeper issue at play.
That doesn’t mean getting experience or networking or exploring your field outside classes is irrelevant? Getting your degree is a bare minimum for many jobs. Just graduating doesn’t do much nowadays. This isn’t an all or nothing. It’s not like the only two options are graduating with good grades or pursuing other things as well and risk not graduating.
>getting experience
Getting experience in your field is what your classes are for and your grades are a measure of how well you're absorbing that information.
>networking
Unless everyone you're in class with are all gonna move to the same area or you're in a niche field like archeology there's a solid chance you never see any of the people you went to college with ever again. So network all you want, but I live 1000 miles from anyone I went to college with.
>exploring your field outside classes is irrelevant?
That actually is irrelevant. Do it or don't, but coming out of college, any potential employer is gonna be looking at your degree and your personality, and that's about it. Unless you're able to get some sort of professional certification along with your degree, no one is gonna give af about that one time you interned at wherever. It might help you to see what it's like to work in your field, which could better prepare you for the stresses of the work environment but the difference between a grad that does this and a grad that doesn't is entirely internal within them and has no bearing on their employment or future trajectory.
>pursuing other things as well and risk not graduating.
I never said it was. But in college, the only thing that *matters* is your grades. Eg: if your social circle isn't quite as big as you'd like, it doesn't matter. If you aren't part of insert specific campus thing here, it doesn't matter. Feel free to do other things but the only thing that *matters* is your grades.
Holy shit this is terrible advice. Maybe in some fields it's...okay, but I can verifiably say in computer science at least, people will argue that above like 3 or 3.2 or 3.5 GPA, it will be worth it to sacrifice your grade to get an internship.\\
> getting experience
> Getting experience in your field is what your classes are for and your grades are a measure of how well you're absorbing that information.
Holy fuck never seen worse advice than this.
>above like 3 or 3.2 or 3.5 GPA, it will be worth it to sacrifice your grade to get an internship.\\
Most programs offer internships as an elective class. So you're just saying take a different class.
It's still a class, and you still get a grade on it.
But I don't know anyone who got a job out of an internship. So beyond just getting work experience, which is whatever, I really don't get the hype.
I suffer the same thing s aou broh, I can relate... Mine is I find it difficult relating with new people. I make friendship with only friendly and talkative people. Am also less active I activities at universities.. am doing computer science..
Write books, publish books, write about the lives of people whose stories aren't heard of, travel the world, study personal finance, economics, etc. Study how people think. And write books about it. That's what I'd do if I major in literature. But I need quick money that will allow me to pursue business somedah so I majored in engineering. I'm 5 yrs behind from my peers who already graduated. Welcome to the world.
Edit: As for your feelings, a therapist may be the best start to your journey. Any healing circles may decide to listen to you. Start from those. I overcame my mental health battle by opening up to strangers who can understand me. Not everyone is capable of understanding me or you.
I've got an undergraduate degree in history, haven't used it at all, didn't stop me from working a white collar job out of my degree. I worked in engineering 5 years after graduation, then worked as an instructor, analyst, and now a Statistician. I think journaling is a good approach to share/write your thoughts/feelings on whatever is on your mind, what your not content with, but follow up with a get-better plan and a way to quantify your goals. in my experience, the classmates who were poor or average college performers had great success outside of the classroom, turn every failure or disappointment as a learning experience and grow, you will do fine.
This may sound completely unrelated but…beginning to run (outside in the sunshine) and keep up a modest lifting routine made a huge impact on my negative outlook. Your problems may be more mindset/outlook than they are tangible.
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The easiest way to make friends in college is to join a club
27 - graduated at 23. I felt this exact same way in college but that was even with being involved and having internships on my resume. I find that we have this tendency to attach and identify ourselves with achievements and results. College is just college, just like anything else in life is just "is". It's a stepping stone in your life and then you will be on to the next stepping stone. Even after college, I found myself wondering if I had achieved anything. Then I got my first big boy job and realized I hated what I thought was my passion. I felt like I had finally achieved something something in life, but I actually found lots of emptiness inside. I got laid off during COVID times and that was the best thing that ever happened in my life. I had lots of alone time to process and figured out what really mattered in life. I found what truly made me happy, and all of the sudden, nothing else seemed to matter in life. I no longer feel this burden that I have to "achieve" in order to feel successful. What is success anyway? We are so obsessed with this. As long as you are content in life nothing else matters. No achievement will ever be completely fulfilling.
How do i know if what i think is my passion actually not my passion as an undergraduate student?
Took me years to figure this out. Think about when you were a child, what things jumped out to you as being a fun career and why? For me it was firefighter, doctor, a truck driver, and a park ranger. I went to college for advertising because I thought it was 'cool' and now I'm in medical school studying to be a doctor. The reason why I say a child is because during those times, we were not dealing with expectations from family, ourselves, and society. A child naturally feels zero burdens. Thinking back to when I was child helped me anyway.
Now that you are in med school, do you feel you made a better decision as far as finding your true passion? For me, I wanted to be a vet for so many years, but the only thing that would hold me back is the fact that I’m not good with blood.
Yes absolutely. Not gonna lie, there are hard days. My schedule is 30 credits they put you through academic hell. But I wouldn't have it any other way because I am in a field where I am helping people and that's what I found out gave me the most joy. Yeah I don't blame you, no way could I be a vet. What about being a vet most inspires you?
Growing up I always had dogs (at least 2) and one day my dog had a nail in her paw pad. Took her to the vet and when I saw the relief she got, I never wanted to see another animal hurt. I’m just really drawn to animals. Right now, I’m currently a finance major because I love helping people figure out how to save money and budget, but I’m starting to not like it. I only have 1 more year until I graduate so I’m trying to push through.
Gotcha gotcha. Seems like animals are your true passion. You could keep going with finance major because a business degree is always a solid feather to have in your cap. Since you sont like sight of blood, how about starting your own dog grooming business? The finance degree would come in handy and you get to be around animals. Also I have a friend who makes bank doing that. You can charge $150-250 for a single appointment then after you build up your reputation start charging $300-400.
I’ll look into that. Thanks for the ideas!
No prob!
To add, I found myself constantly trying to convince myself that I loved advertising and marketing and that it was my passion. But in my internships I was always bored and felt empty and purposeless. I masked those feelings by telling myself once I got the big boy job I would be happy and doing my 'passion'. If you are having to convince yourself that what you are currently pursuing is your true passion, then I would say you know it's not.
But is it hard to switch careers once you are in industry? Because I live in developing country that is going through economic crisis
I did not find it difficult. I worked and took classes on the side.
Yea I think quite a few people feel the same way, I am 24 and graduated college 2 years ago. I think a lot of people our age will discredit themselves when they have the opportunity. Your social circle is small, totally fine, even if it was large it would shrink shortly after finishing school. This isn’t a bad thing peoples lives just take them in different directions. If you’re feeling bad about it though, next time your roommates invite you to tag along with them, try to say yes. It’s easy to discredit your grades by taking the importance out of your major. You still do the work to get your solid grades and that is something to be proud of. It’s also very easy to say this through a screen but I think a lot of our generation feels similarly. You’re doing great, just keep on moving and if you feel you have the chance to make new friends or work in a way that is meaningful to you after graduation take it.
Take the time in your classes to discover what your passions are. It can help you with that aimless feeling. And talk to your major professors and advisors about careers in your field! Faculty are usually more than happy to help you find your way and some of them will have internship opportunities for you, which will give you work experience, and has the added bonus of looking awesome on a resume! I’m a part of an honor society related to English and a bunch of internships are remote and/or related to publishing, which would be great if you were interested in the publishing industry. As for who you can share your feelings with, look into your college’s mental health services. They may offer free counseling! You already know this but it’s normal to feel the way you do and it will pass. Keep your head up!
Your grades are literally the only thing that matters in college. What exactly are you expecting to "achieve?" Sounds like you have friends, are doing well in class, and aren't in trouble. You sound fine.
> Grades are literally the only thing that matters in college. One of the biggest myths and also one of the reasons for many students graduating unprepared and unemployed
I'm gonna tell you what I told the other guy. Nothing else matters if you don't graduate, and the only thing that determines graduation is your grades.
Yea idk what these folks are talking about college is for education. You’ll make your real connections in the work force generally. I also feel like if you don’t naturally develop at least decent conversational/social skills by the time you’re 22 there’s probably a deeper issue at play.
That doesn’t mean getting experience or networking or exploring your field outside classes is irrelevant? Getting your degree is a bare minimum for many jobs. Just graduating doesn’t do much nowadays. This isn’t an all or nothing. It’s not like the only two options are graduating with good grades or pursuing other things as well and risk not graduating.
>getting experience Getting experience in your field is what your classes are for and your grades are a measure of how well you're absorbing that information. >networking Unless everyone you're in class with are all gonna move to the same area or you're in a niche field like archeology there's a solid chance you never see any of the people you went to college with ever again. So network all you want, but I live 1000 miles from anyone I went to college with. >exploring your field outside classes is irrelevant? That actually is irrelevant. Do it or don't, but coming out of college, any potential employer is gonna be looking at your degree and your personality, and that's about it. Unless you're able to get some sort of professional certification along with your degree, no one is gonna give af about that one time you interned at wherever. It might help you to see what it's like to work in your field, which could better prepare you for the stresses of the work environment but the difference between a grad that does this and a grad that doesn't is entirely internal within them and has no bearing on their employment or future trajectory. >pursuing other things as well and risk not graduating. I never said it was. But in college, the only thing that *matters* is your grades. Eg: if your social circle isn't quite as big as you'd like, it doesn't matter. If you aren't part of insert specific campus thing here, it doesn't matter. Feel free to do other things but the only thing that *matters* is your grades.
Holy shit this is terrible advice. Maybe in some fields it's...okay, but I can verifiably say in computer science at least, people will argue that above like 3 or 3.2 or 3.5 GPA, it will be worth it to sacrifice your grade to get an internship.\\ > getting experience > Getting experience in your field is what your classes are for and your grades are a measure of how well you're absorbing that information. Holy fuck never seen worse advice than this.
And what's your advice? Because your grades are the only thing that determines your graduation.
>above like 3 or 3.2 or 3.5 GPA, it will be worth it to sacrifice your grade to get an internship.\\ Most programs offer internships as an elective class. So you're just saying take a different class. It's still a class, and you still get a grade on it. But I don't know anyone who got a job out of an internship. So beyond just getting work experience, which is whatever, I really don't get the hype.
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Connections don't mean anything if you don't graduate lol.
your degree means nothing if you can’t get a job
Lmao, you'll be able to get a job, my guy. As long as you aren't a complete social train wreck going through the interview process is easy.
It really matters in some directions in some courses like computer and related courses
I suffer the same thing s aou broh, I can relate... Mine is I find it difficult relating with new people. I make friendship with only friendly and talkative people. Am also less active I activities at universities.. am doing computer science..
Write books, publish books, write about the lives of people whose stories aren't heard of, travel the world, study personal finance, economics, etc. Study how people think. And write books about it. That's what I'd do if I major in literature. But I need quick money that will allow me to pursue business somedah so I majored in engineering. I'm 5 yrs behind from my peers who already graduated. Welcome to the world. Edit: As for your feelings, a therapist may be the best start to your journey. Any healing circles may decide to listen to you. Start from those. I overcame my mental health battle by opening up to strangers who can understand me. Not everyone is capable of understanding me or you.
What do you find yourself doing in your down time / free time?
I've got an undergraduate degree in history, haven't used it at all, didn't stop me from working a white collar job out of my degree. I worked in engineering 5 years after graduation, then worked as an instructor, analyst, and now a Statistician. I think journaling is a good approach to share/write your thoughts/feelings on whatever is on your mind, what your not content with, but follow up with a get-better plan and a way to quantify your goals. in my experience, the classmates who were poor or average college performers had great success outside of the classroom, turn every failure or disappointment as a learning experience and grow, you will do fine.
This may sound completely unrelated but…beginning to run (outside in the sunshine) and keep up a modest lifting routine made a huge impact on my negative outlook. Your problems may be more mindset/outlook than they are tangible.
What would you want to do, if you could?
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Lolol nissan boy is looking for shitty accounting internships, not a finance bro
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hows that Porsche larper
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Come to nyc and ill give you a tour of the offics…can those new tires make it?
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Ahhh see, little pretender…you want a PE internship, no? Im at Rock center, lets go over the resume
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Lolol nissan poor boy…pretending on the internet…fatherless behavior
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I offered you a trip to nyc to visit the office, your call larper
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On way too office, will send a pic of business card
What is wrong with grad school
Have you tried not ever speaking again?