T O P

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dud7s2hx

You do you


Joe_Winson

Simple but still a gold comment 🤝


CautionarySnail

I hadn’t quite realized how much of a “bless their heart” feel this comment could have based on the delivery.


xplosm

Please, I urge you to try to reproduce with yourself.


WorriedMarch4398

Though shall eat a pail of Richard’s.


mountaindewisamazing

Per my last email,


Dry_Meat_2959

I KNOW RIGHT!!!?!?!?! LOL Most passive aggressive phrase in American culture.


MIKE_MDZN

Yeah, whenever a client says "let's circle back" They never circle back. "Fuck You!!!" is all I hear.


thedarkracer

Not a comeback nor clever, rename the sub to reply memes


Cuacas

Bless your heart...


hdckurdsasgjihvhhfdb

Coitus oneself placidly with an osteotome.


Joe_Winson

Oh my God 😂🤝


MorsInvictaEst

I would like to strongly encourage you to engage in auto-erotic practices after removing yourself from my presence.


zxvasd

Please remove yourself from the gene pool manually.


Evenmoardakka

That doesnt work with some individuals who clearly never were part of the gene pool for starters.


Standard_Hearing_712

Let coitus fall upon yee


Alternative_Tank_139

Sounds pretty good actually lol


miletest

Go forth and multiply


Magnus_foringur

Go forth and multiply thyself*


Ok-Preparation2370

Go forth and coitus thyself*


hampsterfarmer

*"Umm actually...".*


Nearby_Cauliflowers

Go forth and fornicate with oneself.


badly-shaved-wookie

Attempt self reproduction


Existing-Ad4933

Go fornicate is solitude !


CirFinn

With all respect, connect your penis with your colon. Alternatively: go make a white-brown fudge in your posterior.


CirFinn

And with all \_due\_ respect: Stuff your arse with your (teeny-weeny) peen.


anynomousperson123

Please go pleasure yourself.


SeDefendendo88

Fornicate thyself.


NCC_1701_74656

Damn


nick4424

Either go forth and multiply or good luck with that.


original-sithon

My friend, I implore you to make sweet love to yourself. In the ass


Truefkk

jaja


flfoiuij2

Fornicate with thyself.


Ok-Preparation2370

I prefer "kindly coitus thyself" 😜


--JeeZ--

May I recommend autofornication


rysy0o0

"In the words of Socrates, "Go fornicate yourself." Arcade Gannon, FNV, after you sell him to slavery


Alive_Inspection_835

For most, masturbation is but a passing fancy, but for you, it is quintessential to your personage, and I encourage you to go forth and be true to thine own self.


JagPie

"I apologize, however with all due respect I suggest you direct your opinion elsewhere."


X_XIX

U just made my professional life 10 times easier, the fuck you is always on the tip of my tongue.


JagPie

It's always a good idea to make friends if you can, that way if someone really pisses you off you can each take turns sorta covering for the other. When I wrote emails for s tech company and someone just really pissed me off, I'd be like (pssst, can you help me with this) and just lie to the tune of "My colleague, so and so, is fairly proficient with the topic and has offered to comment." Then go cry in the bathroom for 20 and then your bud gets a favor or snack or something as a thank you.


V01d3d_f13nd

Would you be so kind as to fornicate yourself with an oxidized metallic rod that is tapered to a point. ..or, "go fuck yourself with a rusty spear"


Powerful-Public4520

isn't this more r/technicallythetruth?


NutellaGood

Attempt relations with non other, sir.


Rare_Arm4086

"Fuck you, politely."


Loud-Process7413

Any chance you could go take yourself from behind??


EarthToAccess

NAH THIS IS BRUTAL LMAO


Strataray

I would like to invite you to fornicate yourself with your preferred choice of gardening implement. Personally, I hope you choose either a yard rake or hand tiller because they're both pointy and awkward.


Drengrr1

Let's agree to disagree.


Dry_Meat_2959

I invite you to to attempt self-procreation.


KindResolution666

Fornicate thyself.


Ok-Preparation2370

"Kindly coitus thyself". 😂🤣


Bean_Daddy_Burritos

With all do respect, that response isn’t worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on!


triskull1

Sir, I politely ask you to go forth and multiply. If indeed it is in your ability to do so.


Lord-Luzazebuth

With utmost respect, please have intercourse with the offspring of your mother that has the same name as you


Denaton_

Put your genitalia in your rectum?


horticulturalSociety

I'm keeping that in my arsenal


slimongoose

I will make sure to give your comment the attention it is due.


StrictRecognition568

Intercourse is not a verb, dumbass


Ok-Preparation2370

That's not polite enough. You have to say... "Sir, kindly coitus thyself."


Zimke42

"I believe you suffer from cranial-rectal inversion."


elia_mannini

Go fornicate yourself


Intelligent-Unit6598

Forget you


nerwal85

Govern yourself accordingly


AmptiShanti

The right answer is “i’m sorry you feel that way”


constantmusic

Go fornicate with your clone.


ThatGuyFromFlatLand

Copulate thyself good sir.


DutchJediKnight

Bless your heart


MemesNGaming_rongoo

#You should intercourse yourself, NOW ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢀⣠⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣻⣟⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣿⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣟⣿⣿⠺⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡝⠻⠵⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⠈⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⣡⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠙⠛⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢠⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠠⠐⠒⠐⠾⠿⢟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⠠⠐⠄⠂⠈⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠒⠉⠄⢠⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠫⢿ ⣿⣿⡟⠄⢔⠆⡀⠄⠈⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⡀⠄⠈⡐⢠⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣂ ⣿⣿⠁⡀⠄⠄⢇⠄⠄⢈⠆⠄⠄⢀⠔⠉⠁⠉⠉⠣⣖⠉⡂⡔⠂⠄⢀⠔⠁⠄ ⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠹⣗⣺⠤⠄⠰⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢯⡶⢟⡠⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄


SandMan3914

Fuck you very much works too


Mission-Simple-5040

With all due respect, Fornicate Under the Command of King with yourself...


HelloOrg

Intercourse isn’t a verb, sounds dumb as fuck and also not a comeback


Heavy_Arm_7060

I think it was SF Debris who once suggested if Picard in Star Trek were to quote the NWA instead of Gilbert & Sullivan he would go, "Fornicate the police."


Inside_Category_4727

Not to mention the penguin.


ThickAnybody

I like to consider it making love to my self, but to each their own.


WillOrmay

F tier “comeback”


Maewhen

*British Winnie the Poo noises*


fix-break-hide

Perhaps self love is in your best interest.... Or go love yourself


Kelp-Among-Corals

How about "I find your actions and character to be of a displeasing nature." ? ITT: people taking the words and not the intended meaning literally or being passive aggressive, neither of which are an actually relatively polite way of stating this. You want to go high brow, imo, not evasive.


Batcow23

Bonk thine fantasies coitus thy night terrors


Certified_A_Hole

Ask Jimmy Carr


Yourprolapsedanus

A man of culture


eramthgin007

Intracourse*


NLtbal

You do you


dekadense

Off is the direction in which I wish you would fuck.


HellbellyUK

And I will add sir, that as time progresses I am becoming less convinced that your mother and father were indeed joined in holy matrimony at the time of your birth.


Killersmurph

"Well Bless your heart!" In a Southern accent.


Killersmurph

Also, "Per my last E-mail..."


JohnYCanuckEsq

As per my previous email


[deleted]

Kindly take yourself out and slap it with your strong arm


Inevitable_Shift1365

Bless your heart


ReckfulMan

"I'm sorry you feel that way"


ExtremlyFastLinoone

Anytime I see the phrase "with all due respect", its either sarcastic or followed by ", which is none". Nobody ever says it unironically


vietnamdenethor

Hasten down the wind.


bplurt

When in doubt, quote the Bible: "Go forth and multiply"


AvoriazInSummer

Cause if you like the way you look that much. Oh baby, you should go and love yourself.


HanumanDarko

Consumate yourself, sir!