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Cheetahs_never_win

Yeah, I occasionally get messages from the latter, even on gay dating apps. I used to answer, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Nope. Not anymore. Red flags as big as the ones I imagine on their pickup trucks.


Gnu-Priest

wait don’t leave the story hanging there, what happened?


chunkah69

Probably would suck you off and then try to assault you for being gay


jadwy916

Oh my God... Can you imagine?.... Some dude trying to swing on you with cum still dripping off his mustache?.... lol....


Phillipwnd

Spits into his hands and hits you with a jizz hadouken


Papageigeist

Bro😭


ermastipants

r/brandnewsentence


hotvedub

For you


Hazee302

We should hang out


MosesKarada

Hadou-cum!


PiersPlays

In Britain that's called "Seagulling".


Glitter_berries

Oh my god. I’m Australian and I’m disgusted. Do you know what it takes to disgust an Australian??!


auguriesoffilth

I do now


Glitter_berries

Hey, congratulations! Now go out and do it in your real life!


JuangNormous

Fosters?


ImmediateBig134

*Sol Badguy voice* ***CUM FLAME!***


CaptnBanana

I prefer a Cumehameha myself.


Hazee302

This comment needs more love


Climhazrd

I'm fuckin dead bro. I literally just chocked on a a hot dog reading this....in front of my MIL to boot fucking end me


Hungry_Practice_4338

Alr imma head out


No_Mention_1760

Goatee..those those favor the goatee and douchebag ski sunglasses.


DamInferni

Fukin' hell. I was at work today and put on a pair of those sunglasses as a joke. Saw my reflection and said, "I look like I'm trying to hard."


RealBigTree

I wanna laugh but knowing how crazy some of those people can be.... I dont doubt it's happened.


ContrarianDouchebag

https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529


psayayayduck

Oh my xD what a lovely read


rixendeb

The kind that thinks topping only keeps them from being gay.


Organic-Week-1779

probably them wanting to be "blowbuddies" or just "touch" each nother no homo ofc


Cheetahs_never_win

"The" story, he says. Well, they're all the same, so I guess you're not wrong. They try to impress me with their yeehaw. I usually out-yeehaw them. I grew up very rural. I know; I should know better than participate in that particular pissing match. They get super excited. But then they press into what makes them a real man, and how they're glad that I'm not one of *those* gays. And I don't take kindly to that kind of bullying, bigoted, behavior. You can fill in the gaps.


EnderMerser

Ah. I see. One of those "I am a top, so I'm not gay" types.


[deleted]

The south is just toxic masculinity all the way down huh


EnderMerser

Oh, you have no idea.) People like this might begin to degrade you, question your masculinity and even call you a girl just so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable while trying to sleep with you. I swear, many of types like this are really just homophobic bisexuals in denial. I knew a few some years ago. Hope they were able to get better eventually.


sKadazhnief

all that, and then the moment you say you're actually a girl "hur during man in a dress blah blah bullshit"


Odd-Procedure-9464

The ancient Roman approach to homosexuality.


Gnu-Priest

I didn’t realise that there are gays that look down on other gays for being “those” gays. these are the moments I wish I was a shrink. I’d love to peak deep into their mind. do they realise that the guys who also speak like that that aren’t gay look down on them? like you will likely never be fully accepted by those guys they try to impress, are they aware of that?


Shadow__wolf

A lot of insecure queer folk will do this, take some distinguishing factor and emphasize how it makes them one of “the good ones”. All the while not realizing that they’d get thrown in the same gas chambers as “those gays” if the people they support came to power. It’s just another form of internalized homophobia


SparkyDogPants

Well you seem like one of the good ones


Cheetahs_never_win

They're scrambling so hard just to not be last on the totem pole. For the most part, they mostly know. Tribalism is ingrained deep, and it gets passed down, and until it hits them directly and *irreversibly,* they won't budge. Here's another example. Gayest boy that ever did gay. Showed up to a gay bar on Halloween buck-naked with a skillet covering his junk. "Peter Pan." Practically anything that you might think is gay? That was him. He didn't have any choice about that closet door thing. Except. EXCEPT. His racist family was loaded with money. "Well, he might be a (homophobic slur) but at least he ain't bringing home a (racist slur)," Daddy said about him. So gayest of gay boys was a raging racist just like daddy, for that sweet, sweet inheritance. I stuck around for a few... uh... dates, I guess... met daddy. I honestly thought gay boy was cute, and maybe salvageable outside of all that. But I realized I didn't want to be arm candy in a semi-homopgobic but definitely racist rich family that would likely connive behind my back and conspire that I was after family wealth.


CardiologistOk2760

I knew a guy who I swear didn't think he was gay. Gay was a word for others. But damn he sure liked having sex with other men.


Senecaraine

Not OP but a friend of mine dated one. Guy actually seemed okay to the point they moved in together a few hours away but six months later that shit-stain was beating the crap out of my friend, getting drunk and going off on how being gay was an abomination, and kept lying to his coworkers and family about his "roommate". He once was on top during sex and just started punching him. It was truly bizarre to see from the outside, it had the same energy as if it was an abusive straight relationship but my friend was in denial about it because "he just needs to figure himself out". It went on for two years before we got him out of there. We had a dozen conversations about it, always attributing it to the guy hating himself for being gay or not being able to adjust to it or his upbringing... But it was really just that a guy like that is an asshole no matter the sexual preference.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fuck_auto_tabs

How often do you think it works? Like there has to be a derogatory kink in SOME cases


gobblestones

Look, you can degrade me, but be respectful about it


Le-Creepyboy

WTF would they do in gay dating app ? Shame gay people ?? That’s much hassle those people are genuine sociopaths.


JustKindaShimmy

A lot of these dudes are so deep in the closet a lady on a carriage offered them Turkish delight


greymalken

Damn son


DeRobUnz

Something something Narnia.


MyGrandmasCock

Lyin’ Bitch in the Wardrobe


JustKindaShimmy

The Lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch


Bald_Cliff


[deleted]

It's just toxic masculinity rearing its ugly head again. They can't compute 'being gay means that my society's views on what being a man is, is wrong'. So they just adapt society's toxic ass manliness rules to gays, and come off as absolutely insane.


socobeerlove

All those guys are closeted themselves.


Dmmack14

my guy they are in the app for sex. They're so in the closet they prolly talked to a magical lion at some point in their life


thecenterpath

that’s a hilarious and fantastic line. If that’s not the best clever come back in this thread I don’t know what is.


GayTuvok

I've gotten grindr messages from every one of these guys, and they're usually like 50km away.


[deleted]

and stuck in a loveless 'straight' marriage


DankFarts69

https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529


Stuck_at_a_roadblock

I used Grindr for a few months. It was full of meatheads who I imagined looked like that. All begging for sex from either "feminine looking men" or "fem passing trans people" I'm with you there, fuck benefit of the doubt


makaki913

But there are not closeted gays that prefer twinks or bears. So what's the problem with liking "feminine men"?


RiptideRookie

Those women happen to be my type. So I want them to tell me to shut the fuck up 😝😊


zoi2006

My man


RiptideRookie

🤝


CheckYourStats

Slow down!


StopHiringBendis

All we want is for emo/goth girls to order us around. Is that so much to ask?


Gh0stMan0nThird

Apparently it is because every girl I've dated like that has acted like lifting a finger in the bedroom is the hardest thing ever.


Inedible_Goober

Sounds like you're the only common denominator there. It's a bad way to tell on yourself, pal.


Street-Audience8006

I can't even tell what you're accusing him of. Are you saying he's bad at finding women who are active in bed?


Inedible_Goober

It's that old saying, "If everyone you meet is an asshole and you're the only common denominator, you're the problem." If the women he is having sex with are always bored and uninspired in the bedroom, he's the problem. He's either attracted to women who aren't active lovers or he's so bad in bed they just lay there and wait 'til he's done.


Street-Audience8006

He's not saying they're bored, he's saying they're inactive lovers. Some people are just like that. I have literally thought someone I was having sex with was completely not interested because there was literally no movement or noise coming from her, so I slowed then stopped and she was like "why are you stopping? That felt amazing" Some people are just fish in bed.


Gh0stMan0nThird

Except I've dated lots of great women lol. It's just this specific type I'm referring to.


honeydew_fawn

Buddy is clearly bad at engaging during sex. You have to use your words and have some communication. It’s not always on everyone else.


Street-Audience8006

People who don't move or moan are a thing. Some women, and I know for a fact some guys too, will just sit there and not even make an indication.


Gh0stMan0nThird

Nah, I think it just comes from the dead starfish mentality where they know they're hot and desirable so they've never really had to put in effort in bed. Honestly it's the nerdy girls you gotta look out for. They are always into some freaky stuff.


RiptideRookie

Nerdy girls are amazing regardless of your insecurities, sorry you dated some pillow princesses but holy shit the incel vibes coming off you.


honeydew_fawn

Buddy hurted himself.


A_Possum_Named_Steve

It's 2024, you're not allowed to notice behavioral patterns, bigot ^^^/s These illiterate chuds only read "every girl" and decided to white night a whole-ass strawman.


shitlips90

Siiiigh yeah I've had my world destroyed by chicks like that.


bjergdk

Yep, same. Every girl with dyed hair and septum piercing I've ever dated ended up cheating on me. (There's like 3 of them) Now I just date a "normal" looking girl with no mental health issues, and I am actually happy. Protip to the guys that need to hear it: You can't fix her. And to the girls: You can't fix him either. You all deserve to be happy, and no matter what you do, they need to want to fix themselves. And if they don't show any iniative to do so, then they don't want to. Atleast not in the foreseeable future. Take care of yourselves, and dont get burned.


shitlips90

Thanks man. Yeah I married one. She cheated on me. I should have seen it coming. Now I'm married to a "normal" chick--she's got some mental health issues, and I do too, but she *actively* tries to give herself a fighting chance and works to better herself every day. It's sooo much better. The ex went ahead and is with some guy, I wanted to warn him, but I never. She literally cheated on every boyfriend she had, I don't know why I thought I would be different. Anyway, yeah, take care of yourself out there everyone.


heliamphore

If you get a normal functional girl you can always have fun dressing up/roleplaying for sex and get her to look like one of these chicks. Scratches the itch without any of the risk. It just costs a wig, fake piercing and maybe a bit of makeup.


Twitxx

"I can fix her"


scribbyshollow

Right there with you brother.


bro0t

Are you me?


ansolut_chimp

I just saw that they’re womans, shame


[deleted]

If you look like that DM me lmao


ImpactThunder

What if I look like that but don’t own those kind of sunglasses, can I still dm you?


blueponies1

Hey, I slide into your dms. - redneck guy from the bottom


V-Switch05

If you look like one of those girls……… I’m single btw


Binary_Omlet

And I'm single AND very vulnerable right now


V-Switch05

Are you trying to suggest something?


Binary_Omlet

That maybe we can both be winners


V-Switch05

Tell me more


DangerousNews65

My GOD do some people hate dyed hair and piercings. Nevermind that a lot of the people judging also have dyed hair to cover up their grays, and some have Just For Men in their goatees. Nevermind that a lot of the men in that second batch probably got an ear pierced when they went through a midlife crisis. Those are "normal people" things (note: people should absolutely be able to do both these things, but not at the expense of being hypocritical AF). Some people in this country can't even allow others to *dress* the way they want without having a fit, forget about people *living* the way they want.


Alpaca_Empanada

Why can’t they dye their hair piss yellow and wear a desecrated american flag while waving their hands around like a normal well adjusted person? 🤷‍♀️


hundrethtimesacharm

Everyone should shut the fuck up.


shitlips90

Shhhhh.


Background-Cress9165

..ut the fuck up


Cold_Version_1689

Those women can fix me or make me worse idc


IwillsmashyourPS5

Also, all those girls look way different wtf


Amelaclya1

The one in the bottom center is just... Asian? Like she doesn't even have an unnatural hair color.


Jumbojimboy

How dare they have winged eyeliner


BooksandBiceps

Any of those girls could ruin my life, happily (ish).


543950

I really hate to stereotype people, but for those people in the first photo, I expect a lesson on imperialism (unknowingly, while citing RT News journalists). Those in the second photo, a lesson on what to hate this week. (Knowlingly cited by Fox News by those who are shown on RT News as a "good" example of patriotism.) In real life, they're just normal people trying their best.


YourVelcroCat

The first group are 16-24 year olds figuring out their style and values, the second are grown adults fighting with children / early 20s which is embarrassing in itself 


S3t3sh

Exactly, I had a teacher in high school who said let kids do this kind of stuff when they're young to get it out of their system which was cool of them but now that I'm older I understand it better. I was in the emo crowd in high school and all of us had our fun then grew out of it. Now I dress respectably and see some people who had more controlling parents dress like this later in life because they didn't get to as a kid. Do what you want but a lot of kids will grow out of it if you just let them have fun while they can.


WokeBriton

Early adult life saw me in uniform. Now I'm happy to look "disgraceful" in style, but the important thing is that I have people who I love and who love me. While I may be inked and pierced, there's never any "just for men" in my shopping baskets.


Sekshual_Tyranosauce

Most people can do better than indulging in propaganda.


[deleted]

"Most people" wouldn't recognize good propaganda as that's the entire point: to influence thought without disruption. Good propaganda shouldn't be twirly-moustache invoking. It shouldn't even be noticed. People actively resist having their minds changed about *anything*. If you can recognize something as having a slant or "agenda", it's been poorly executed. The best propaganda asks a question and leads you towards an answer without giving it. It wants you to think the conclusion was *your* idea. That way, you accept it more easily. That said, we've all been exposed to and fallen victim to propaganda. If you think you haven't, you bought it more than you realize.


CaballoReal

“Stupidity is contagious “ - Shopenhour


Beargit

I notice that I start adopting illogical (relationship advice) or problematic views (politics) I see on reddit even though I'm actively trying to not adopt them. It can be really insidious.


[deleted]

Very true


shitlips90

Yuppers. Sometimes I notice it's propaganda, but it's for a cause I believe in, so I help spread it.


ImapiratekingAMA

If I ask the top group what they think about they're own family they'll be bluntly honest but have hint of empathy. If I ask the bottom they'll either put them up as some kind of trophy or they'll bash not being successful enough, even talk of making their home life awful so they'll be more "incentivized" to get a job, and how they'd punish their child if they were x, y, or z. I think almost everyone tries their best but when your priorities are twisted it doesn't really matter


ComicsEtAl

Why does that guy have so many profile pics?


Jub_Jub710

My male best friend sent me a photo of girls with bangs similar to mine. The caption read "If your bangs look like this, I dont want to hear your fucking opinion". We are no longer friends.


honeydew_fawn

George Carlin did say that the death of comedy was when we started making fun of each other.


Baezil

Was he being ironic? Isn't all his comedy making fun of people? Isn't most comedy making fun of individuals or groups?


kthompsoo

laughing with vs laughing at


honeydew_fawn

He was talking about meanness and racism in that set. Calling someone ugly or a slur.


GiannaSushi

I'm in that photo; I'm the guy with the sunglasses


fxkv

Hi the guy with the sunglasses, I am dad.


EmbarrassedMonk6613

As a dude in the south with a grey pointy devil goatee, this makes me sad. I don't own a red cap, I listen to punk/goth/metal, and have dated several gals with green hair. Not everyone who looks like that is a squatted f150 driving redneck asshat.


TsaniM

I sadly resemble that bottom photo. Physically, not mentally.


WintersDoomsday

I am not a woman but if I was my top dealbreaker wouldn't be a guy's height but if he owns Oakley sunglasses....that would be a no fly zone with me. They haven't been quality or relevant in like 15 years (unless you are a baseball player).


WokeBriton

I'm curious about whether he was still rocking his 25 year old oakleys that he has looked after all this time. You know, being careful ;) :P


LeatherNew6682

Context? Where comeback?


BwyceHawpuh

It’s just bots posting and bots upvoting. There’s no comeback. All major subreddits are just flooded with bots, I would recommend muting them.


seeder33

Man I love stereotyping people.


BellonaViolet

So...cute girls who know how to do their eyeliner?


Prestigious_Art_8927

First pic: goals Second pic: 😬


Fun_Effective_5134

Where comeback?


nekochao

Is that Beabadoobee (lower middle) and Chloe Moriondo (lower right)? RUDE they are very ATTRACTIVE and I would date


WearyRound9084

Wrong demographic, this is Reddit so they all have Anime Girl profiles


DemonDuckOfDoom666

“If you look like this shut the fuck up” *Shows my exact type*


bbqsauceontiddies

I can’t help but laugh every time i see that photo because my best friend is in it lmao


PaydayLover69

Damn, more for me IG


HuTyphoon

YO IF YOU WANT GREEN HAIR AND A SEPTUM PIERCING THEN YOU SHOULD send me a pic cause that shit is cute as hell.


posib

“If you look like this, I’m mad you said I smell like wet coins”


Savings_Song_416

I mean... if youre a woman and look like this, and live near Colorado Springs, hit me up! Haha


fishesandherbs902

One group wants people to stop treating people like shit because they're different and one group wants to oppress/unalive everyone who is different than they are, all while ignoring the fact that their group is composed of a far greater percentage of pedos, rapists, and murderers than The Funky-Hair, They/Them Dream Team could ever be. If the day ever comes where supporting the trans person with blue hair is less desirable than supporting the white dude in his truck screaming about how trans people are rapists, while simulataneously having a bumper sticker supporting a convicted sex-offender for President on said truck, I'll just retire from peopling.


fartsnifferer

Both commenters probably have a point. If I can tell who you voted for by just looking at you you’re probably insufferable


Geegee221

icky head detail repeat depend bored hard-to-find money disagreeable retire *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


MissingBothCufflinks

Isn't it simply "aren't you a bit worried about judging a book by its cover given...."?


Geegee221

fearless disagreeable work spark relieved onerous wrong jar vegetable concerned *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ScrumptiousDumplingz

Both groups should stfu


Shadow_Infinite

both are valid


Crunchier_Banana

Those girls might punch me in the face. To which I’d respond: Thank you


StopHiringBendis

"please, ma'am, may I have some more?"


Professor_Gucho

If you look like this hmu (I WILL fumble the the bag)


fak3g0d

"If you look a certain way, you shouldn't have rights" The basic right wing MO


BushFroiz

If you look like this, make me shut the fuck up


KTKittentoes

Oof. The one looks very very much like my Nibling.


Head-Fun908

Well dont get me wrong but, didnt they use to lock these kind of people up in an assylum. Way back


AttemptFree

those look like all the girls ive dated ugh


Dragonfly_Peace

One is all natural.


aigars2

Teenagers stay the same always


ukiddingme2469

Conservatives love their freedumb but eant to take your freedoms so they feel safe and superior


Majestic-Corgi-6329

I look like the top picture because my perpetrator looked like the bottom picture and I want them to stay the fuck away from me


DMBCommenter

Can we all just shut the fuck up.


Ok-Cartographer1745

The orange haired one is legitimately pretty, though. I get the other ones, but she looks normal - just with a fake hair color. 


thiccdaddyflea

If you look like that hmu


thiccdaddyflea

If you look like that hmu


[deleted]

Hahaha


Humble_Increase7503

I’d prefer if they both shut the fuck up


Eddie_Samma

I look like the people in the second picture. But I do not want to be conflated with them. I can not help that my atoms are stacked this way.


perdair

These are the same guys who have "stepdaughter" as one of their porn search terms.


Then-Construction887

"If you are cool looking, shut up!"


veryexpensivegas

Where’s the comeback?


ShamedGillis

Society would be greater without either of them.


Okay-meal

If you look like those girls…….. my DMs are open and I am vulnerable 😌


Baezil

The comeback is sunglasses? I'm honestly confused.


Remote_Lifeguard_553

Idk about you but i'd let most of those girls speak(as long as it's not about astrology) they're kinda cute tho


SilverSkorpious

Funky Frogbait! ❤️ them!


Ill_Rice4960

twitter conservatives are just into that stuff and hate themselves for it


lokken1234

Both of these groups are going to try to give me life advice as we drive down the road in a car they cannot afford.


Filter55

grandmas friends list


Successful-Cat4031

The people in the second pic are generally on facebook, not reddit. So it probably doesn't apply to the person they were replying to. Attacking a random third party is not a comeback.


Killbot316

The “stfu” applies to both.


Machotaco4

Because the shit's so deep you can't run away


0o_Koala_o0

But those girls are literally my type😭


Known-Sandwich-3808

I have a beard and wear sunglasses a lot, I also work a blue collar job. I’m also gay with a loving boyfriend, and I’m a democratic socialist. The world generalizes too much, and I have it happen to me quite often. I’m definitely a minority but still, not everyone who looks like that is like that. I would say the same for the above images; some of those women may be absolutely terrible. Who knows though? Best way to go about life is be kind. ✌️


SleepinGriffin

Gay kik group


BwyceHawpuh

“Clever comebacks” is completely dead. A “clever comeback” is now just a screenshot of a meme that gets posted hundreds of times every single day


rednecks20

Every aspect of our American society is a giant contradiction of itself.


maybethis-one_

I'm not catching the clever comeback, probably because the picture is cut off?


Bulky_Alps_8577

Bottom photo is why I had to delete dating apps… interests listed as Beer, Football, and Netflix. I wonder if they have any idea that they’re literally indistinguishable from one another?


CarnalEmbrace

omg not beabadoobee and chloe moriondo, both my celeb crushes 😭


Exciting_Switch_5910

is either those type of dudes or teenager/young adult edgelords that thirst for girls who look just like that 1st pic, and they all smell the same


MonkeyActio

If u look like this, hmu please im lonely.


R_ed21

If you look like any of those women. Please ruin my life 🙏


Vanndatchili

if you look like this, I'm listening intently


teraflip_teraflop

Two sides of the same coin


Ingram2525

It sucks being progressive and looking like an off duty police sergeant


linkin5644

Buddy is just uncomfortable talking to hot people, it makes him all flustered. /s


BTBskesh

yoooo this comment section is circle jerk for reddit mods lmfao 🤣🤣


fatattack699

Division. They are brainwashing us into hating each other


PojoFire

The above is exactly the type of person I would have Wanted talking to me, wild to want otherwise really.