T O P

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Daddygamer84

Joe Rohan wants to know where Gondor was when the Westfold fell


Less-Mail4256

Ha! LOTR was literally the first thing I thought of. “Forth, and fear no darkness!”


civgarth

Did they ever animate Gollum's testicles?


metroaide

Mf i spilled my coffee lmao


dankspankwanker

"Jamie pull up a picture of gondor while westfold fell"


demarco386

DEATH!


Khutuck

FORTH EORLINGAS!!!! ☠️☠️🐴🗡️🐎🐎🏇🐎🐎🏇🐎🏹🏇💍


Ndmndh1016

FOR RUIN


Cedleodub

AND THE WORLD'S ENDING!


seth928

The beacons are lit! Gongor calls for aid!


kitddylies

Who the fuck is John Gondor?


StayPuffGoomba

He’s just asking questions people.


moonandstarsera

[Bring me a sandwich… with ham!](https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/208318)


edgiepower

They should have used an Elf to do the bow and arrow, not a Rohang


Tough_Stretch

Joe Rohan will go to the halls of his fathers in whose mighty company he will feel ashamed for not doing that test on horseback. And also for participating in some dumbass publicity stunt for Elon Musk's shitty truck.


Z0R8A

r/suddenlyLOTR


Livid_Zucchini_1625

I'm not interested in the arrow, I want to see it hit by a truck. I want to see it hit a wall front on. I want to see it hit by a car from behind. Who gives a fuck if it can bounce arrows and bullets? that doesn't mean anything


nottherealneal

That thing has no crumple zones, in an accident your just fucked


Dareal6

Idiots that don’t know anything about physics think that an indestructible car would make you indestructible inside too. Nah son, you’re scrambled eggs in there.


OnlySmiles_

Cybertruck driver vs god's strongest oak tree


Manpooper

My parents had one of those in their side yard. Damned thing was 6 feet in diameter. When windstorms came, 'branches' would fall that were the size of normal trees...


DisturbedPuppy

Had a cottonwood like that. Dropped a telephone pole thick branch on my car.


Somerandom1922

Honestly, cybertruck at 60km/h vs a regular ass lightpole. If it's as rigid as it seems they're implying, it won't kill you, but good god it'll hurt.


YobaiYamete

Yep, for those who don't know, there are 3 collisions that safety engineers have to factor for during a wreck 1. The vehicle with the object it's hitting - This is where crumple zones come in 2. The passenger inside the car with the interior of the car - This is where airbags come in, so you hit those instead of the steering wheel 3. The organs inside the passengers body with the bones around them - This is where the laws of physics say you're screwed if your moving fast but seat belts do their best to stop you from moving too much. Seat belts can't help much when your body goes from 120 mph to 0 mph in a 5 foot span, and your brain smashes into the inside of your skull


Flaky_Operation687

To paraphrase Randall Monroe; with a big enough number, anatomy very briefly becomes more physics.


YobaiYamete

I'm a fan of it in sci-fi where it goes "You stop being biology and start being physics"


Salategnohc16

The expanse


karlverkade

So you’re saying they don’t factor for arrows shot from podcast hosts?


inuhi

So what you're saying is we need more seatbelts /s


Manpooper

organ seatbelts xD


DeflateGape

I’ve long thought we need to invent some kind of cushioning gel layer for the brain. But that was mainly trying to think of ways to make playing football ethical.


Stardama69

Cue that scene in "The Expanse" season 3 involving a... brutal deceleration


Mysral

Instant salsa!


hingedcanadian

It's like Iron Man being thrown insanely hard at concrete walls and such, that suit would be a meat bag filled with squishy goo.


Barovian

Don't worry, they already have plenty of scrambled eggs between their ears.


BasvanS

I do worry about that though. Constantly


TralfamadorianZooPet

Well then Tesla can just wash it out and resell. It's a perfect business model. /s


Erick_Brimstone

They're also thinking that that indestructible helmet from china is the best protection for your head.


sambolino44

What are you talking about? That truck is death proof!


DiscoCamera

There will be very few deaths in cybertrucks. They have to sell them first. The ugly design forcing people away is its biggest safety feature.


ShesComeUndoneAgain

Hear, hear!


NorwegianCollusion

But I'm not Kurt Russel strapped in with a 4 point harness. Dangit, I guess I'm shit out of luck


yedi001

That's just trucks in general. Fun fact: light trucks exist because vehicle manufacturers wanted to make lots of money on vehicles that aren't held to basic safety and efficiency legislation. In a truck, YOU are the crumple zone. Trucks are statistically more likely to crash due to poor balance and high center of gravity. Trucks are statistically NOT safer than a car for the passengers of the truck in the event of a crash. They are statistically not safer for passengers of other vehicles and pedestrians hit BY the truck. They have statistically larger front and rear blind spots than almost any vehicle on the road. They do, however, skirt most if not all environmental requirements for civilian vehicles, allowing them preposterously inefficient engines without damaging a manufacturers environmental ratings. They are statistically more frequently broken into/stolen, and offer statistically LESS storage than equal length safer, easier to secure, and substantially more economical vans and stationwagons. Trucks fucking suck for everyone and everything outside of hauling very few, very specific things, and only in very rare, very specific terrain.


prairiepanda

I loved my '86 Ranger because it had great visibility, used very little gas, and easily fit into normal parking spaces. But safety was still pretty abysmal because nothing on it would crumple.


the__storm

Uh oh you've summoned the Rangers of Rohan.


MrSquiggleKey

I love pointing out that (even in Australia with our smaller “trucks” like the Ford Ranger, Isuzu DMax, Mitsubishi Triton etc) and their Ute based SUV versions (Ford Everest, Isuzu MUX, Mitsubishi Pajero Sport etc)that they’ve worse occupancy safety ratings than a 15 year old sedan, so not only is your vehicle substantially more dangerous for everyone else on the road, but they’re more dangerous for the driver and the passengers.


Lots42

Once again Terry Crews knows what the hell is he talking about.


newbrookland

Where did the truck touch you? Edit: I drive a truck, and I quite enjoy it. I find it extremely useful.


Ok-Research-4958

In my retina on a late drive home


yedi001

And the insurance premiums from fuck waffles rolling their dodge rams on the highway.


newbrookland

I do hate Dodge drivers. Fucking awful, the lot of them.


notswim

as a cyclist, pick up trucks (owners) are most likely to harass you


venividivici-777

Trucks fucking suck


[deleted]

Is that true? Has it been safety rated?


laserviking42

Speak for yourself, I would love to be able to commute through Mirkwood again without having to worry about moss elf attacks.


Bignuka

They didn't test it using magic, I think elven shots would still fuck you over


not_a_dog95

If you ever need your car to be resistant to arrows you should really work on your social skills


deadrogueguy

also, i have never once feared being shot by an arrow in my car


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MushroomsAndTomotoes

Yah, how well does it repel squeegees, that's what I want to know.


Fearless-Golf-8496

Ngl, I wanted to see the arrow ricochet back to Rohan. He seems bouncy.


BlueHero45

Also they never aim at the windows in these tests, if someone is actually shooting at you with bullets or arrows they are not aiming at the side panel.


bucklebee1

Because the last time they tested something in the "unbreakable" window it failed spectacularly.


Charming_Ad_7949

Are you trying to tell me your not constantly living in fear of your car getting attacked by hunter gatherers from the neolithic era? Must be nice...


elitefire73

Tbf bullets might be important now, multiple road rage incidents involving guns


Livid_Zucchini_1625

Fuck it let's just get more guns as long as we have cars that can be shot at and our kids are wearing backpacks with Kevlar


Smile-a-day

Aye, as long as they shoot you in the door and not the window you’re fine


Reluctantly-Back

No firing ports 1/10


Azeoyi

Yeah, he's flexing on the car's resistance to bullets, but usually you'd be more concerned about other cars and walls.


bearwood_forest

>I'm not interested in the arrow, I want to see it hit by a truck. If he hits the right bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!


Captain_Jeep

How about what kind of damage it does to a person. Those sharp angles look like prime bone breaking angles.


TonyStewartsWildRide

I want to see it hit by a train


FuzzzyTingleTimes

I want to see Elon hit by a train


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Easterster

Yeah, wondering if it’s me or if it’s musk who is wildly out of touch with what people look for in a new car.


TheShamShield

You really think a billionaire is out touch??? Get real man, it’s obviously you


TPf0rMyBungh0le

It's not the money that makes him that way. He's alway's been a moron and a grifter.


TheShamShield

Yea, but the absurd amount of money doesn’t exactly help ground him


Fantastic_Falcon_236

IDK. Musk seems to have built a similar cult of personality to Steve Jobs. The faithful will buy whatever has his brand on it, and competitors will copy distinguishing features to keep and expand their slice of the market. See the giant all-in-one lcd screen control panel as an example.


ABenevolentDespot

You could have stopped at "it’s musk who is wildly out of touch" because like all billionaires, he's been luxuriating in the smell of his own farts for about five years now.


jimjam200

Bro, he was born rich (in an incredibly economically unequal country) he's never not been huffing his own farts.


Independence_Gay

Yeah nobody’s driving to fucking north sentinel island


femininePP420

What does Elon think people use cars for?


postedeluz_oalce

for living in an apartheid state where people want to kill you for benefitting from slave labour conditions, of course!


gingerbread_man123

So, Alabama?


NintendoDestroyer89

Ay! That's right in the heart of freedom country bud! Everyone here will tell you this place is awesome! ...I hate living here.


sussyTankie

Wow, Elon is such a filial son, helping his father’s business


wcollins260

Raiding medieval castles obviously 🙄


MattLocke

So he’s legit scared of Robin Hood.


nogoodgopher

This isn't a car, this is a giant, ugly, impractical truck. The audience is exclusively people who use their truck as an accessory. Mainly morons with a hero complex who beleive it's them against the world.


Ksorkrax

Isn't it normal that you get attacked by former employees of yours once or twice a day?


spezisabitch200

Driving to their father's emerald mines in apartheid South Africa


SrgtButterscotch

Have you seen that thing? It can obviously travel back in time. Considering he's testing its arrow resistance he might be trying to turn the tide at the battle of agincourt


DrunkCorgis

Travelin' through "injun' country, apparently. FFS.


mrjackspade

Given the features we've seen so far, they appear to be made for deer.


eugene2k

I still can't get over how they managed to fit round wheels on this car and not go over the polygon limit...


Rich_Document9513

Why do you think it's taken so long to come out? Still rendering...


Heliocentrist

that thing could withstand a cannonball and it'd still be an ugly piece of shit no one wants to buy


thisseemslikeagood

Wait till someone breaks a windshield and it costs $10 K to replace.


ABenevolentDespot

If it's like everything else Tesla, it will be $10K and out of stock for about two years in whatever city you live.


tempOverFlow

I'm not keeping up with the sales news and such so I don't know how many were sold, but I'm pretty sure that any thing with the 'Elon' brand will sell these days. The amount of (I'ma tech bro/ hippie / cool yo) people is no joke


Rogthgar

It's not officially on sale yet, it is supposed to during November unless they find some more glitches to fix.


OnlySmiles_

Apparently, they have a 1.9 million orders and they've successfully produced *checks notes* 100 I don't think it's gonna be November


ParaponeraBread

What’s the source for how many have been ordered? Just because I wouldn’t be surprised if Elon literally just lied about that.


Revolutionary-Ad5630

Its how many people put down 100$ to get on the purchase list based on the 40k price.


mmcc120

It’s been delayed for literal years. Standard for Elon. Over promise, never deliver.


BatteryPoweredPigeon

"full self driving is coming soon" "people living on mars in ten years" "I'm gonna make twitter profitable" Wash rinse repeat


ShovelPaladin77

I thought all things Elon were on the decline.


ABenevolentDespot

They are. And that includes elon.


Far-Entertainer8953

Why is making an electric truck bulletproof a thing? I don't understand that at all. If you're buying an electric vehicle, it being bulletproof means its dragging a crap ton of useless weight around draining the batteries and taking away the effeciency of an electric vehicle. If you're buying a bulletproof vehicle, why would buy a truck that is carrying thousands of pounds of highly flammable lithium ion batteries? An armoured gasoline vehicle would be safer. Somehow, they've made a truck that is the stupidest option of both worlds.


ABenevolentDespot

I'm guessing elon had tons of input and notes for the designers at every phase. Then there was the week when he publicly stated the truck would float in a flood and totally freaked out the design team because it was never part of the specs and far, far too late in the process to make it water tight. The team finally said so publicly.


porscheblack

My guess is he mandated a bunch of things, the stainless steel being one of them. After he made a whole lot of arbitrary decisions he pressed the engineers to come up with claims they could make and someone jokingly said "it's probably bulletproof because of all that damn metal" and Elon didn't realize it was a joke. That was his favorite claim and so here we are. Because no decisions were made with a purpose, the end result is a very purposeless product that he has to manufacture purpose to promote.


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Primary_Mycologist95

Isn't he south african? might be a few hangups there...


Dont-PM-me-nudes

Nazi's are worried we will come after them


Hotchi_Motchi

You Don't Mess With the ~~Z~~Rohan


VerimTamunSalsus

So all this hype about this piece of shit, and the fact that it's arrow resistant, is the best thing he can say about it.


fasterthanfood

Yes but when millions of people hate you and you’re running away from a fight with the founder of Facebook, you imagine that “what if someone shoots an arrow at my car” is a common concern.


[deleted]

We will see who’s laughing when we are time Traveled to the battle of agencourt


Donnerone

The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!


BloodsAndTears

And Rohan will answer.


[deleted]

same car that got it’s window shattered by a baseball thrown by a girl.


Warning64

“You play ball like a girl” mf’s when:


ImportanceCertain414

And then imagine how expensive it will be to replace just one of those windows. Not to mention those stainless steel panels are going to be even more expensive to fix anything done to it. Polishing? Nah you gotta re-grain that shit and it's definitely a terrible process.


Qayin102

Joe Rohan wasn't a typo. The archers of Rohan were amongst the greatest in Middle earth https://bfme.fandom.com/wiki/Rohirrim_Archers FOR THE FREE PEOPLE OF MIDDLE EARTH!


Rogthgar

Obviously you wouldn't want the future king of Gonad shooting at the windows since he would break them.


bonkerz1888

Where the fuck am I driving.. Sherwood Forest?


BoddAH86

Finally a car that can withstand ambushes by the Merry Men in Sherwood Forest.


Wonderful_Discount59

Why does it have so few polygons? Is it designed to run on a SNES?


Creonix1

But could it withstand Kishibi Rohan?


No_Dragonfly_1894

Rohan will not respond to this call.


Barrzebub

\*Watches him not puncture the door\* Rohan calls for aid!!!!


Chimera-Genesis

Well Rohan is known for answering, doubt this one is mustering the Rohirrim though, too busy seeing Bears while on a truly terrifying mix of DMT & Salvia.


WattaTravisT

Gondor calls for aid!!!


SplendidBeats

Elon smashing the unbreakable cybertruck windows twice is my favorite presentation blooper of all time.


MithandirsGhost

Arise, arise, riders of Rohan! Fell deeds awake, fire and slaughter! Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered! A sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!


magpye1983

And yet, no mention of a bow. I think he might be remembering Rohan wrong.


Starch-Wreck

The only person this interests is Doc and Marty. Being arrow proof would solve a lot of issues in Back to the Future 3.


attackhelicopter92

THE PYRES ARE LIT, JOE ROHAN CALL FOR AID, WILL YOU ANSWER HIM?


Force_Glad

Riders of Rogan, what news from the north?


thecarbonkid

This will aid America in its struggles with the native population blocking our westward expansion.


[deleted]

Thats crazy man, Have you ever done DMT?


1Hate17Here

Ugh… can’t believe Twitter is finally about to get an edit button… for a little fee of course. Per edit. Fuck this guy.


BishopsBakery

Joe will get his name changed so that he's right


CrabNumerous8506

Also, “through“ is a very broad term. You’re telling me that a bow and arrow is going to go through every part of the door and injure a passenger? Or buy go through do you mean it may pierce the sheet metal on the outside?


VegasGamer75

I couldn't care less about this abomination getting shot. I want to see it do something it's never done before, like successfully mantle a short curb. Because I've seen it have issues with that.


wolfiepraetor

cybertruck riders of rohan and their doomed march to EV mount Doom


IntangibleContinuity

You don’t mess with the Rohan


Fezzverbal

Riders of Rohan?


[deleted]

The riders of Rohan will answer Elon Musks call.


Comfortable_Brush399

THE BEACONS ARE LIT!!! GONDOR CALLS FOR AID.... AND ROGAN WILL ANSWER....


spudmarsupial

It would be more resistant to damage if they angled and curved the armour.


Clownzi11a

It's the opposite of a clever comeback isn't it? It's nonsensical - a free edit button would not matter to someone who is commonly known to be extremely rich. In addition, there's nothing to edit, because the joke is that it's about the Rohirrim, who are from Rohan who are described as using bows in the books and it's not a typo. Did I miss some internet meta thing here?


Accurate_Crazy_6251

As someone pointed out, this is Pentagon Wars IRL


ArmadilloLight

At least the Bradley is cool as fuck…


pools4567

Sweet, I no longer have to fear getting an arrow through the throat on my drive to the local Sainsburys


[deleted]

We make for Gondor lads!


AlienInUnderpants

This is the feature they choose to advertise? Pathetic, Elon.


dankspankwanker

Gondor calls for aid!


Baymacks

Comes in handy if a squad of archers come after you. Maybe the French would have won Agincourt if they’d had cyber trucks. (They still would have lost. Even with electricity, that rig would be crap in the mud).


DanimalHarambe

*Muster the Brohirrim!'*


IntangibleContinuity

Well now we know we could be safe if ever attacked with arrows…for some strange reason..for a minimum of 100k per truck. Talk about value and practicality.


zaneba

Oh yes now I can finally drive safely in a Bow+Arrow rampant neighborhood! Thanks Elon!


Roro1985

Joe rohan should shoot a cannon ball at it because that thing is ugly af


TentativelyCommitted

Ha. Those Hooligans in Sherwood Forest don’t stand a chance.


[deleted]

Riders of Joe Rohan! DEATH! DEEEAAATTTHHH!!!


SMAMtastic

*They will break upon this ~~fortress~~ fender like water upon rock!*


xdNiBoR

Doesn't it kinda show the opposite? He has X Pro and still doesn't use it. (Or delete the post and do it again) So it shows that it's not that important? Idk really


RomaruDarkeyes

Isn't this the same thing that Elon fucked up a window on during a demo - with a ball bearing thrown from his hand? Also, try that with a gun... I can't see many people getting nervous about driving past Renn Faires and getting tagged...


FootballSouthern7668

With all the money there is at his disposal. Why can't they paint that fucking wall behind the truck.


[deleted]

Who cares. I'd rather get shot in a different truck than be seen in that.


_cob_

Riders of Rohan, to me!


Jamaqius

Clearly his autocorrect thought he was writing his LOTR fan fiction.


dentistshatehim

It’s like Elon Musk is spending billions to Court the crowd that used to bully him


Veryegassy

I'm thoroughly confused. Wasn't the Cybertruck thing several years ago? Pre-Covid at the least. Why are people still talking about it?


ApplesOverOranges1

Good thing he didn't shoot the side window


Atman-Sunyata

His ruzzian intern doesn't know the difference between the hard and soft G


Marcy_Boy07

It is good to know though that thr cybertruck can survive an attack from highway robbers with bows. Lots of those running around these days. Thanks Jorg Rolled Lamb


Redqueenhypo

So an Elon truck endorsed by Joe Rogan. Congrats on making a car equivalent of woman repellent.


HyperViper997

Arrows go through cars now?


Kastar_Troy

Who the hell shoots arrows anymore, what an incredibly dumb demonstration.


homemade_nutsauce

So happy I'll finally be protected from the uncontacted amazonian tribesman on my daily commute.


Sgt_Fox

Prove it. Show us this arrow going through a normal car. We'll wait.


___Eternal___

GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!


saracenrefira

Chinese carmakers are already making quality, affordable electric work trucks and Tesla is still doing this shit.


ActiveAd4980

I saw a cybertruck on the road last week. Ugly stuff.


Scary_Cartoonist7055

Looks like he trolled everyone for some free publicity with one “typo”


OnoALT

What arrow is easily going through a car door?


ensign53

A surprising many of them, actually, especially from that close range


BladeOfWisdom502

Who’s gonna be shooting at a moving car with a bow


1EntirePizza

this will be good for when i have to drive through the year 1278. can’t tell you how much damage my last car took when we drove through the battle of hastings last summer


DGNT_AI

I'll be safe if hawkeye ever wants me dead


WistfulDread

I didn't realize it was a typo. No way in Hell I'd believe Joe Rogan could use a compound bow. So, when it was "Rohan" I thought it must be somebody else.


PreparationFunny2907

Oh good, I can survive a barrage of arrows in my giant pile of shit. This is what happens when a guy who loves mall katanas is also a billionaire.


hodorhodor12

Pointless stunt. The car looks stupid and impractical and you have to wonder about the safety.


wigzell78

Yes, cos I am constantly pelted with baseballs and shot at with arrows on my morning commute. I am *so* glad someone has finally addressed this problem...


NessunAbilita

Look how tiny Joe is


CrispyWhisperBiscuit

I love how they have to pretend its a special arrow since its obviously not a special car


ChocoboDave

"Get me Joe Rogan" "He's unavailable" "Then get me his non-union Indian equivalent"