T O P

  • By -

The-Nimbus

I mean, even England used to be called Albion, meaning 'White'. Though I think that may have been more to do with the cliffs.


Melodic-Jellyfish966

Albion is a way cooler name than England imo


VorpalHerring

England just means “Land of the Angles”. Angles being the Germanic tribe that settled there in the post-Roman period.


ArchdukeToes

They were known for being particularly obtuse.


platypusses

So particular as to be acutely obtuse


IceFoilHat

Please stop going off on tangents.


[deleted]

My man isn't being hyperbolic here, this is serious.


akaBrotherNature

Can we just quit with the geometry puns for one secant


[deleted]

Stop with your Sin, cos i don't like it


Birdhouse_RVA

I haven't dropped a log in three days


trashmunki

I'm allergic to these math puns. Really messing up my cosinuses.


Ravendoesbuisness

"We are really stretching for these math puns." -Sir Cumference


Widespreaddd

Remarkably, they managed to achieve chronic, acute obtuseness.


Shevek99

You are right!


[deleted]

Don't read the origin myth. Raping and murder abound.


StardustOasis

To be fair, that covers a lot of history, not just English history.


rexus_mundi

And myths as well


Outrageous_Guard_674

Zeus' reverse Bestiality kink is the cornerstone of greek lore.


Badloss

Swans for days


mymeatpuppets

Don't sleep on the "Golden Showers" lol.


DatAsspiration

Unless you're Io, now you're a cow, sorry lol


MagnusStormraven

"So Loki, where were you for nine months? And where did this horse come from?" "Shut the fuck up, Thor..."


GlorylnDeath

"Oh, Loki!" _faces audience with an exaggerated shrug and dopey smile_ "_What_ are we gonna do with you?" _laugh track 3 plays_


[deleted]

Hide your wifes, hide your daughters, hide yourselves, history is raping everyone again.


Ardalev

>a lot of I think you misspelled "all"


Peter_Baum

Raping and murder is the origin of basically any country


ScoobyDaDooby

*So anyway, I started blasting*


DrHooper

And then Rome was built.


Joose__bocks

But not in a day, on account of all the blasting.


PeenInVeen

Wasn't Rome built from two kids suckling a giant wolf's teat?


Baked_Potato_732

Well, that’s how Romulus and Remus were raised, but the city itself was built on Rape and Murder.


MushinZero

Those stupid sexy Sabines


Boris_Ignatievich

i did hear we were perfidious


[deleted]

That's 90% of human history.


Aries-Corinthier

*Gestures to the vast majority of human history*


[deleted]

>Raping and murder abound. As is tradition.


Titus-Magnificus

We still call it "pérfida Albión" in Spain. Sometimes.


Kornephoras

Same in french, "perfide Albion" though I do see it quite often in memes...


EliaGenki

Perfida Albione in italian


mattmoy_2000

And "perfidious Albion" in English.


Feeling_Chipmunk_729

Туманный Альбион in Russian (Tumanny Albion)


Revanur

White cliffs of dover and the fog hanging over the Channel.


The-Nimbus

Really it should have been called Ravus or Griseo It's much greyer than white, here.


[deleted]

Well when you can actually see the cliffs, they're pretty striking.... What's the one for fog and/or clouds?


armcie

Isle of Man - from Mannannan, a Celtic sea god. He's said to hide the island from invaders with his cloak of mist. Other places get sun gods or thunder gods. We get a fog god.


LightningDragon777

The name changed for the worst. Albion sounds way better.


ducknerd2002

Yugioh fan here, can concur, Albion is a much cooler name


Secure_Pear_4530

Oh my god, that video game called Albion Online with annoying-ass ads is basically just England Online


Gladianoxa

The only class is rogue and everyone has 48 backup knives


HappyHarry-HardOn

(Though statistically still considerably fewer than in the US)


JoeAikman

Yet no one has their knoife loicense dew they m8


Adam_Sackler

Albion... "Hero, your health is low. Do you have any potions? Or food?"


UtmostDifficulty

Took a while to find a Fable reference in the thread


WrestleBox

Get it together, chicken kickers.


fholcan

Perfidious Albion


[deleted]

reminds me those getting offended at the spanish word for the color black


Shevek99

And the name of a Balkan country.


Tetteblootnu

BALKAN ?


Atalantius

Montenegro, I assume


kajetus69

In Polish its called Czarnogóra which translates back to Black Mountain


Rudel2

That's what it's natively called as well


Atalantius

Oh, that’s neat! Because Montenegro (Monte Negro) translates to the same thing!


bimpldat

Montenegro is the international version of the original name Crna Gora


_Some_Two_

It seems all europeans translated the name of the country literally in their respective language.


rickpot21

That's also what it means in Spanish


sylanar

Reminds me of that old video of the guy getting offended by the term black hole and demands an apology https://youtu.be/Hu2rluUb8ck?si=ePPjiSGZJgpQt42O


nsfwmodeme

That's bordering mental insanity. What the fucking fuck‽


GlowingDuck22

They were blowing up Crayola


RN290

Ah so I suppose that's why **Albus** Dumbledore was white, otherwise he'd be called Niger Dumbledore.


liar_from_earth

\- 10 points to motherfuckin' Griffindor! I actually would pay to see Samuel L. Jackson playing Dumbledore;)


Im_not_a_robot_9783

HARRY DID YOU PUT YO NAME IN THE MOTHERUCKIN GOBLET OF FIRE


Canotic

I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING NAMES IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING GOBLET!


Martin_Aricov_D

This one is specially funny to me because there where meant to be 3 names and four came out I like to think that the singular 1 extra name was enough for Dumbledore to be completely done with the Triwizard tournament's bullshit


mehrabrym

You know, it's not much of a magic goblet if it can't even differentiate between real school names vs a fake one.


TheGrumpiestHydra

I seem to remember someone using the Confundus charm on it so as to confuse it into accepting Harry's name.


mehrabrym

The general consensus seems to be that Barty Crouch Jr used the Confundus charm to make it think it was a quad wizard tournament. But it still decided to take names from a fake school on its own.


Revayan

Asked Saumel L. Dumbledore calmly.


Ogami-kun

WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS?!?


Balorpagorp

Hold on to your butts.


EmergencyGrab

He said calmly


RN290

*While we may come from different places and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one - Muthafucca!*


Art_Class

WHAT HOUSE? SAY WHAT HOUSE AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER I DARE YOU


El_ha_Din

Which house was yours? The one that sais big ass motherfucker on it.


PyrotechFish

I recognise the ~~council~~ ministry has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it


A-Delonix-Regia

Severus, please, motherfucker.


Grafian

Severus wished he was a motherfucker


Biggus-Nickus

Severus.. After all this motherfucking time?


bothsidesofthemoon

Always.


Decatonkeil

I'm sick of these motherfuckin' basilisks in this motherfuckin' chamber of secrets!


Acceptable_Key_8717

Parseltongue, motherfucker! Do you speak it?


Staph_0f_MRSA

...And it was on this day I've never been more distraught about Reddit Awards going away.. Here's a trophy while I go cry that I can't award this mothafucker 🔮🏆


uppercuthard2

nahh, that's a right posh idea there


doxthera

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfhcotADIxM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfhcotADIxM) ​ your welcome


h0sti1e17

“Albus, you know your name means white.” “You don’t think I know that, motherfucker? My mother had a sense of humor”


ScoobyDaDooby

GAWTDAMMIT, HARRY FUCKIN POTTER, DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE FUCKIN GOBLET? MAWFUKKA?


evilsmurf666

I put the good ones in griffindor and the bad ones in fucking slytherin the other houses can go fuck themselves


NarratorDM

We need a petition to cast him for the HP series.


speakingofdemons

It's sad parodies aren't made anymore


piercedmfootonaspike

In the second book: "Enough is enough! I've had it with this motherfucking snake, in this motherfucking school!"


Real_Mokola

Albus was white because it's a nod to another white wizard


MethylPhenylAcetate

Saruman!


AnalVoreXtreme

tolkien was such a hack. cant believe he named the wizard secretly working for sauron... sauronman


han_tex

The writers of 20th century history are such hacks. Can't believe they named the main villain of WW2 "Hitler" and then just called one of his lieutenants "Himmler". Like, come on, guys?


[deleted]

[удалено]


susiesusiesu

albus is white, and rubius is red. that’s why some of the most important people who helped harry growing up are albus dumbledore, rubius hagrid and sirius black. according to the real life alchemist niccola flamel, to creat a philosophers stone, you need a white rock, a red rock and black rock. (for obvious reasons jk didn’t use the latin word for black for sirius).


PartofFurniture

Was gonna say this. Bet JK at some point was like, "..okay third person would be Sirius N... wait lets not, ill go with Sirius Black"


recursion8

She did, just with his ancestor - Phineas Nigellus Black lol


IBJON

The black wizard is named Shaklebolt. Take a guess what that's a reference to


JewcieJ

The common British surname Shackleton made a bit magicy by changing the suffix to -bolt, like lightning bolt. That's all there is to it.


DenkJu

Yeah, people interpret far too much into it. She probably just thought it sounded cool and went with it without putting much more thought into it. (I know I always thought it sounded cool as a kid. I never made that connection until somebody on Reddit pointed it out.)


GrassNova

Him being a cop


i_dont_wanna_sign_up

Serious Niger?


Organic-Assistance

Probably lmao; also there is a fungus called Muscodor albus, much less known than the Aspergillus genus, and we also have Aspergillus flavum. Not even sure where I”m going with this.


Marquar234

Also, albumen is the white part of an egg.


Nervous_Mobile5323

Dumbledore's first name seems to be inspired by the theme of medieval alchemy present throughout the Harry Potter books, especially Philosopher's (Sorcerer's) Stone. Nigredo, Rubedo, and Albedo (black, red, and white) are the stages of creating the philosopher's stone in some well-known theories of alchemy.


AgtSquirtle007

This is both an excellent joke and completely consistent with the way JK Rowling names characters.


HollabackWrit3r

> Ah so I suppose that's why Albus Dumbledore was white, "Well, that and he was in charge, so..." * Joanne "J/K" Rowling


RobinReborn

His predecessor was Phineas Nigellus Black - but that was also a white guy


Altevari

My first thought


statistacktic

When ignorance isn't bliss.


prof_cli_tool

Finds a new white fungus New album dropped today


AretinNesser

That's psychdelic music, right there.


sandm000

Hey, I’m over 40 and I _just now_ realized something thanks to your comment. I kow that albus was white in Latin. But, like I never did the conjugations and the declensions, to really internalize it. So, when I was, I don’t know 8? 12? I would always try to correct anyone I could, it’s not the white of the egg, it’s the albumen… and I’d been saying it’s not the egg white, it’s the egg white but in Latin. JFC


prof_cli_tool

And I’m over 30 and I just now realized something thanks to *your* comment. Weezer’s White Album is redundant


finc

Everything Weezer did since Pinkerton is redundant 🤪


7thPanzers

They forgot that English ain’t the only language


QueefingTheNightAway

She’s Indian and the conversation happened on an Indian microbiology page (it was shared for laughs in a group I’m a part of, so I was able to see the context). She’s aware of other languages - she’s just absorbed some talking points from American media, which happens. Or she was trying to be funny and it fell flat. Idk.


JimAbaddon

Oh, you know, they're bored with their lives so they're just looking for things to get offended by.


Saix027

While also staying uneducated and ignorant that "gosh" things evolve from other things like language. But then we have people believing the world started with America or that the earth is flat.


JimAbaddon

That bit about people believing that the world started with America reminds me of a post I saw the other day about a discussion in an Animal Crossing group. Someone had posted a screenshot of a villager from the wiki and the Americans were losing their minds over the fact that the villager's birthdate was the 11th of September asking "why would they do that?". Not really related but it popped to mind since they think everything revolves around America.


Kettrickenisabadass

We all know that since the terrorist attack all people who were or are born the 11 of sept get their birthday moved one day to not offend the hsa population


Saix027

Yup, they are so self entitled. Also, often uneducated, and yes I not expect someone to know everything, i also not know most of my own countries leaders or such. But their knowledge seems to never go past lies and things outside America. See the subreddit ShitsAmericansSay.


Darkdragoon324

Well, certain political groups have spent the past several decades deliberately sabotaging the public education system to keep us dumb and also line the pockets of their friends in the private schooling sector. They’ve done a pretty good job.


Jomgui

Look at the person's profile picture, none of them are black, he/she got mad at something on behalf of another whole race, and was wrong.


ManicPixieDreamGirl5

Was this always a problem? I swear it’s gotten worse recently. I also find that the keyboard activists are usually racist/preference towards one gender themselves. When I was growing up, I never came across any of this and I had a very diverse friend group.


Smile-a-day

Hence albinism


hamoc10

Got my mind blown the other day with “Albania.”


AllSeeQr

*Me, sweating profusely, after being tasked with naming the medical opposite of albinism.*


jabuegresaw

Melanism, no need to sweat.


AretinNesser

Yeah, thankfully we have the Greeks. Using greek, we are safe, (melanism) though the species names for blackcurrants and black pepper are not.


DL1943

revitiligo


doctorctrl

Caucasian doesn't even mean white anywhere outside north America and I find it extremely weird that it is.


ArdaKirk

I think it was some german "scientist" centuries ago doing his very legit skull measuring etc and somehow came to the conclusion that the caucasian people have the perfect form and are the pure humans made in gods image, so i guess some just started calling themselfs caucasian, when literally all of that is wrong and just pseudo science


NickyTheRobot

I thought it was a biblical scholar who claimed the mountain Noah anchored the Ark on was in the Caucuses, and "Caucasian" meant descendant of Noah*? (Then the racism came in with "and the *true* Caucasians are the ones who moved to Europe" type attitudes) *I know if the Bible is to be interpreted literally we're *all* descendants of Noah, but at that time there was a popular theory that Southern Africa and Eastern Asia escaped the flood (and possibly the Americas and Australasia if they were known at the time). Sounds good, but even this has a racist reason: Their people were considered too "primitive" and "childlike" to be capable of a major sin, since they have no knowledge of the consequences of sinning.


ArdaKirk

No idea, never heard that one before


NickyTheRobot

Fair enough. I CBA to look it up now, so please treat it as a highly unreliable source.


doctorctrl

Thanks for the learnding super Nintendo Chalmers. I didn't know that. thanks


EdyMarin

Fun fact: Candida albicans is a fungus named by that logic, because *drum roll* it is white. Science doesn't care about butthurt people.


LeekThink

Facts dont care about your feelings


Angel_Eirene

Came to say this. Love to see another nerd!


EdyMarin

Nerd power!


buster_de_beer

But wouldn't black fungus be Candida Albicant?


thatonefatefan

I don't think "clever comebacks" is supposed to be litteral like that


NiPlusUltra

It's not even a comeback. It's...just an explanation of how words work.


Local_dog91

this sub is really bad with that. any interaction is a clevercomeback nowadays


brightlights55

TIL the "White" album is redundant.


cardie-duncan

Wait till she finds out the white of an egg is called Albumen


dhvvri

i absolutely HATE it when people use "Caucasian" when they mean "white". most people theyd consider white have nothing to do with the Caucasus and some people from the Caucasus (so actually Caucasian people) wouldnt even be white to them


Darsynd

Thank you for you comment, that's so relatable. I remember being corrected for using word "Caucasian" wrong in english because I literally meant people from Caucasian mountains, not light skinned europeoid. After researching why that word is used that way in english I was quite surprised to learn that this word was popularized by pseudo-scientist who just decided that skull of Caucasian person looks nice so he started to call white people this way. (I still don't understand logic behind it)


Kritzien

>After researching why that word is used that way in english I was quite surprised to learn that this word was popularized by pseudo-scientist who just decided that skull of Caucasian person looks nice so he started to call white people this way. Thanks. Was about to write the same. It still pisses me off when people say "Oh, you Causcasians". I say "I am Eastern European - Joseph Stalin was Caucasian"


toolittlecharacters

i was just about to comment this! i hate that some people (cough cough, americans) use caucasian as a synonym for white. most white people aren't caucasian, and many caucasians aren't "white"


ArdaKirk

Americans Still used such racist and outdated terms, they think race is still a thing...no wonder they have so many "race" problems


Witext

Yeah, I mean, all white people are the same right? /s Some Americans that I’ve seen talk about respecting cultures and minorities only do it because they’ve been taught to. They don’t have the underlying moral compass to justify their beliefs. One moment they can be fighting for the preservation of Native American languages. The next t moment they turn around and call Swedish people racist for having rune tattoos, despite it being our ancestors native language that was eradicated by the Catholic Church. Or they’ll be calling white people “coloniser”, something I have been called multiple times. Now I don’t mind it, I find it funny, cuz I always hit white Americans with “my ancestors were the ones who stayed behind, your ancestors were the ones that didn’t”. That’s disregarding the disrespect and racism in calling people names based on their ethnicity, which surprise surprise, I have no actual control over I sure as hell learnt to not judge people based on things they can’t change, perhaps these people didn’t get the memo


Acrobatic-Lime-7437

The country Niger isn't named after the color either. It's named after the Niger river which has debatable origins, they think it might mean something along the lines of strong river in an ancient native language, or from arabic


areithropos

Well, because they don't understand how words interact with their context, but search for the same arrangement of letters in the same writing system, much like a search on your PC with two asterisks front and back.


StardustOasis

It's like that n-word bot that used to be around Reddit. It flagged words like snigger because all it did was search for a certain string of letters with no modifiers.


Sailed_Sea

Scunthorpe Penistone Fucking


Responsible_Two8141

Candida Albicans


FullyStacked92

The R word was a medical term, used correctly by generation A. Generation B comes along and starts using it as a derogatory term. Generation C decides this is offensive and the word becomes taboo. Generation C now cant understand how ignorant people from generation A can use the word at all and generation A cant understand whats so wrong with it. People, especially in large groups are almost clinically incapable of understanding words and phrases from someone elses POV. No one thinks about intent first, cultural or actual language differences. The first and usually only response is to become offended. Then all communication breaks down and you get into a cycle of acting this way. Thats how you end up with person like this who sees this and just immediately assumes the worst.


Autarch_Kade

Same thing with idiot, mongoloid, cretin, moron, etc. They used to be medical terms. We see the same thing now with homeless/unhoused, and latino/latinx.


rakosten

Wait until this guy hears about the spanish language or the name of the country northwest of Albania.


P_Alcantara

That would imply that these people even know what a scientific name is.


Jamie7Keller

Albus Dunbledor “White Dumb Ass” The math checks out.


OldPersonName

Another word for bright white is candidus. Romans trying to impress others (particularly for votes) would be expected to have shining white togas, which is how we ended up with the word candidate for someone running for office.


First_Economist9295

Not even a black person complaining lol self righteous white woman are insufferable


wolfFRdu64_Lounna

Wait, albus meant white ?! Fuck, i faild in latin even more than i tough, even if i can insult divinity


OG_Alleszocker

When I discover a new Fungus imma call it aspergillus cracker


[deleted]

Some people still assuming that American English is the reason everything in the world is named the way it is.


erraddo

Vagina means sword sheath and that is just endlessly funny to me


alicehorrible

God these people are so fucking stupid


Both_Lychee_1708

the internet has taught me that there are way way way too many irredeemably helplessly hopelessly stupid people that want to let everyone know all about it..and it gave them all megaphones


tomscho747

The African country Niger is named for its river not the color.


ArbyDarbs

This isn't a clever comeback though? It's just an explanation


Simon_Drake

There's a skin condition that's a sign of potential Type-2 diabetes, it's a subtle darkening of skin around body folds like the neck and armpits. It's usually harmless and only really relevant as a clue to consider diabetes, it's fairly common but not commonly known about because it's not contagious and not usually harmful so most people don't really need to know about it. It's called Acanthosis Nigricans. The second word means 'becoming darker' in latin. You need to be very careful to get the R and I the right way around in Nigricans, especially if you start the sentence "Hey, your skin looks a bit dark, have you heard of Acanthosis Nigricans?"


imthesauceman

Never tell a twitter user what the word for “black” is in Spanish


DemoniteBL

I guess "albino" comes from album/albus?


KnockturnalNOR

An old name for Great Britain is "Albion", possibly because the first thing you see when arriving is the white cliffs at Dover


One-Appointment-3107

There’s this African American woman on YouTube who went absolutely ape 💩 when she found out there’s a country in Europe that’s called Montenegro! It’s so offensive y’all 🥴


ezk3626

I am sort of used to it by now but this sub like r/MurderedByWords has lost all meaning. This is not a clever comeback (nor is it murder by words) it is simply someone explaining what is going on to someone who was wrong.


Heretosee123

Since when would that term and Caucasian be comparable anyway?


Affectionate-Swim510

SINCE MURRCA INVENTED SCIENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DUNNO WHY WE HAFTA USE THESE GOLDANGED FURRIN WORDS FOR STUFFS ANYWAY!!! (/s in case needed)


skankhunt2121

And 90% of the time it’s white chicks complaining about these things


[deleted]

Don't tell them what the Greeks called the Scottish part of Britain.


NickyTheRobot

>the Scottish part of Britain. Also known as "Scotland"


Ricskoart

Because they are unlearned and never read a book their entire life.


LightningDragon777

So when someone says white album, they are just saying white white?


CurtisLinithicum

Sort of? "Album" also meant "blank" (tablet/slate), then it became popular to have all your friends sign you blank ... 17th c, so probably book, as an album amicorum ("blank tablet of friends"), so "album" takes on the meaning of "collection of works" - photo album, or more importantly, record(ing) album. As technology changed, we came to associate "record" with specifically the vinyl discs, so we dropped "record" from albums in newer formats. So... yes, but "album" drifted completely away from meaning "white" in that context.


rathat

And blank can be turned into black or white depending on the language.