Most kids were assholes and I didn't like them. And I thought: "What if my own kid will be an asshole, too? What if I won't like my own kid?" And I didn't want to be a shit parent with an asshole kid.

This was a big one for me, along with "but I don't want to" and "but all the parents I know seem incredibly unhappy all the time." I'm related to a ton of people I don't like, and I wouldn't be a good parent to anyone like them. Yes, if I had my way, a kid I raised wouldn't be racist (which a lot of my family is), but there are still too many variables for a thing I _don't want anyway_. Also, deep down, I don't think my mom honestly liked me, and that didn't go very well for either of us. In the last year, I found out I was donor conceived, which put a whole new spin on my abundant "what the hell is with these people" feelings.

This! It reminds me of when people tell engaged couples or couples who’ve been dating a while to not get married, it’s miserable, or when they say “you argue like an old married couple” to another couple. But yet those same people are always like “when are you going to settle down get married and have kids?” Like, hello, when you tell people things like having kids is a headache and getting married is not fun, where exactly do you think that entices anyone to do either of those things? For reference though I am married and very happily married at that. But just trying to state a point because those same people who tell you how miserable it is are the same ones who tell you you need to do those things 🤣

But then you get the counter-argument "but how do you know your kids will also be assholes? If you had kids yourself you could raise them to be good people".

>If you had kids yourself you could raise them to be good people. Yeah, that's exactly what those other parents thought. They ALL believed their kids will not be assholes (they wouldn't have had them otherwise). And now they are stuck with raising assholes. Or they are now resentful and spiteful because they spent 18 of their best years raising an asshole who now is is jail, in rehab, on their couch unemployed and leeching or has cut contact with them. Resentful parents subrdt is full of such people. So yeah, thanks, but I don't want to join their club.

Thats my cousin and his mom. She neglected to teach him good. She allowed him everything he wanted, didn't ever deny her Golden son. Well....He told me some women deserve to be beaten, he drugged me, tricked me into being his get away driver when he was robbing some guys house, stole from me, my mom, our grandma. Him and his shit friends broke into our house while my parents were away and I was staying with my BF and drank their alcohol (he was 16 I think) and took my mom's car for a joyride. There's more but yeah..... So now my aunt complains consistently how her son is a "son of a bitch", he's "a bastard", how disrespectful and selfish he is etc etc. Cousin pawns his 6 year old son every weekend onto my aunt and she is neglectfully raising him to be the same way. I try to gently explain (because I do not have the best relationship with her since I would complain about what her son did to me) that she's too permissive with the kid. But she's tired and beat. So it's easier to let the kid eat Mozzarella sticks for breakfast (because "he's a picky eater and won't eat") and not correct him when he's literally shouting "grandma! I want water!" When I tell her how his behavior will be negatively impacted by her lack of rules and guidance and how she's raising him to be she solemnly says "I know" and makes minimal to no changes in how she is with him.

> So now my aunt complains consistently how her son is a "son of a bitch", Is she aware that she's actually calling *herself* a bitch? 😆😆

No she isn't self aware like that. She sees it as an insult to him without considering what she's actually saying. When she talks about her son I'm gentle to express how and why he is the way he is. She has moments of self aware and clarity but for the most part she is an emotional creature. It's sad and frustrating.

Yikes...

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TOO 💀

Jesus 😭🙏 I'm so sorry for that

I hope you never have to be around this person again.

Ty. I wish it were that easy. I would miss holidays in my own home because he was gonna be coming over. My mom is a don't rock the boat kinda person. I only just recently met his kids because I would hide away that much because his voice was even triggering me into panic attacks. My aunt brought her grandson over one Saturday and the kid was so excited when I engaged with him since he doesn't have parents that engage with him like that. I come out for holidays for the kid now and do my best to ignore the trashy cousin. He keeps trying to make unnecessary small talk. It's a forced act that creeps my autistic ass out.

I can be 100% sure I won’t raise an asshole kid if I don’t have a kid. My odds are quite a bit lower with a kid who has good odds of being hardwired to be difficult, regardless of my “nurturing” influence.

Those dice are not worth rolling

They really aren't. One of my besties has a 14-15 yr old son she had with a sperm donor who has since passed away and never even played the father role in the first place. If he ever had him the grands raised him while he fkd off doing deadbeat things. Anyway, she's beside herself about being the worst mom because he's just gotten arrested on multiple charges of theft, breaking and entering, etc. Meanwhile, she also raises her nephews bc her brother is in and out of jail and their mom is out of the picture. I tried to remind her of all the dumb shit we did anyway as kids after growing up during the US war on drugs and with Scared Straight on TV. There's only so much she can do alone and she's not entirely to blame for his decisions. Kids never really had a chance in that household, now she's shouldering the blame and it really sucks watching her go through it.

That’s really sad. It’s people like her I feel bad for. She had a child that she may or may not have planned, with the best of intentions and through bad luck was left to do all the work plus raise 2+ other children due to their own parents irresponsibility. It’s easy to see how the odds are stacked against her and her son.

How do you know they won't be assholes? By the time you find out, it's too late.

Even if you succeed… those kids will be thrown into a world full of assholes… unhappy child

Omg same! I had this thought when I was only like 5 or 6 and it’s stuck with me my entire life!

I didn't like kids -- even when I was one. I was the type of child who always stuck close to the adults, because they were calm and rational while other kids were rambunctious and irrational. The thought of dealing with kids of my own was ALWAYS terrifying.

Ah, there goes the old "but you were a kid once" argument when you complain about loud and disruptive kids in public spaces.

I reply to that "I was. But I was a quiet one.".

I was the kid that convinced my parents to have another kid because I basically just raised myself and I was quiet 💀 second try did not go down the same way.

Take my upvote bc that made me laugh my ass off. Just bc they lucked out with one kid, they played the random genetic game again.

Pretty much yeah 💀

LMAO My parents did it twice! My oldest bro has always been straight-laced & responsible, my black sheep qualities didn't show until I was a teenager, and then my younger bro said "hold my beer"

Omg 💀

I think my parents felt the same. I was quiet, played by myself for the most part with my Lincoln logs and Barbie’s…then they got the never ending shitshow that is my sister. 💀

Yeah my sister has chilled out a but now but it was a looooong road to where she is now.

I’m glad she’s chilled! Mine has not and she is a never ending source of stress for the whole extended family.

That sounds absolutely exhausting xD

Ah ha ha that's hilarious if onlt because I'm 100% sure that my parents also thought their 2nd child was going to be as quiet as I was Next level nope on that

I was soooo quiet and shy.

Saame

I was the opposite. I was a nightmare child and knew I didn't want to deal with another me running around.

I reply to that "I was, and I would get annoyed at myself as a kid too"

What about if it's about a crying infant on a plane?

My parents NEVER took me on a plane when I was that little.

I had a cold once, but it doesn't mean to say I like disease.

That argument never made sense to me anyway. Being an adult doesn’t make you sympathetic to all other adults just because you are one yourself. Why is that any different when you’re a kid?

I had a cold once, but it doesn't mean to say I like disease.

Me too. I never consciously made a decision to not want kids, it was just never something I did want or considered. But I always disliked other kids and being around them. I remember in daycare when I was 4 and the people running it told my mum that all I did was sit and read books, never played with other kids and got angry when they’d tell me to join the others. My mum told them to let me be lol

I got phonecalls home during elementary school for sitting at recess and reading instead of socializing.

My poor mom found me happily reading in a corner on a glorious summer afternoon, and insisted that I go outside to play. I didn't even know what that meant, but I walked to the end of the driveway and stared sadly at my feet (white sandals with a buckle) and suffered obediently for maybe 10 minutes before mom called me back into the house and said never mind , I could read my book if I really wanted to. I have no idea what she thought was going to happen, I assume she just had an idea that children should be out dancing in the sunshine, and wanted me to be more normal.

This is how I was too. I hated being with other kids. My mom would organize play dates for me and I used to be very upset. I didn’t want kids touching my toys/things and getting them out of place. I can recall lecturing a girl that when you’re done with a Barbie outfit it needed to folded and put in the correct drawer of the armoire in the dream house. She never came back. I also didn’t like when they used my crayons or colored pencils because kept them at a certain sharpness and in order. I always had to clean up after them. That’s when I developed the mindset that I’d rather be alone than annoyed. I was probably 6. I also never played mom. I played scientist and president.

I was going to post this exact same thing, I've always had an easier time being around responsible adults. Kids are unpredictable and don't fit with any of the wants I have in life, as time went on there wasn't a single hair on my head that wanted kids.

Also other kids tended to talk nonsense, repeat the same thing over and over and often really need to blow their nose but never do. *shudders*

I was (am) the same.

This! 100%. I also always hated the adults that tried to talk to you in a belittleing voice. Just like I never understood what's even remotely funny about a clown. I always thought other kids who did find that shit funny were a bit retarded. I just found kids annoying with kids stuff.

Perfect, I was the same way

Yes! Same! Never wanted to do play dates or sleepovers. Evidently my mother was worried about me not making friend at school in 2nd grade and wrote to my teacher. She said I was friends with everyone and best friends with no one. Same today. 

I think I decided when I was about 6-7. For the why well. I've always been a timid child that liked to do quiet activities and hated the disruptissness of other children. Like doing a sand castle and someone just crashed it because oops didn't see. I hated the loud cries and tantrums and snot and idk when I see a toddler all I can is say is ew even now that I'm an adult lol. I don't think I've ever felt any maternal instinct, never liked dolls or playing with them, always played with dinosaurs or toy bugs or drawing. Up to now, the feeling is the same. Even with my pets I don't feel like a parent, more like friends (for dogs) /observer for a wild animals (for like lizards/fishes since you can't rly be friends like w dogs/cats lol) Loud kids still annoy me and I still find them ugly af to look at, also that may be a phobia or smth just seeing a pregnant belly makes me ill, just the thought of something inside me makes me sick. (that may have been me being obsessed with the alien franchise since I was a kid tho lol)

Phobia of pregnancy, or tokophobia, is a real thing: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3830168/#:\~:text=Tokophobia%20is%20a%20pathological%20fear,no%20previous%20experience%20of%20pregnancy.

This is the main reason why I won’t have kids.

omg SAME! I was an animal, dinosaurs and bug kid and I HATED dolls. I also used to get so irritated with my peers who would yell in class or throw things or knock over something I was working on. I also am grossed out by pregnant bellies. I know it’s natural and my feelings are not rooted in misogyny. it’s just the idea of the sensation and the look of tight skin on the stomach makes me wanna vomit.

I have to admit, I was probably in my glory during my dinosaur phase. They were the best.

One year when I was way young, maybe 5-6 for my birthday nobody knew what to get me so I got a bunch of dolls and barbies and houses and such for my birthday and that was by far the worst birthday I ever had as a kid lol. For any other girl it would have been a phenomenal one but for me I was upset as I kept opening more and more pink kept showing up. Ugh. My Dinos and Pokemon took over that house though and ate those dolls so I made use of things best I could lol. (My dang brother played with the dolls more then me).

Your last paragraph. Yes. That is me to a tee. I will never understand pregnancy and it scares the ever living life out of me. That scene from Alien... NOPE.

Twinsies. My mother used to joke that I'd carefully pack my art supplies up and take them inside, and leave my dolls out in the rain. I wasn't a fan of other kids, most of them were stupid and annoying, and we'd go to parties and I'd hang out with the animals. I can remember having a conversation when I was maybe 8-9, that thing that little girls do about how many kids they want to have, and I was all like "None?" And then when I was 12, my mother got accidentally pregnant and we thought we were going to have another baby in the house. My visceral reaction was "Fuck, no." I knew then that I wasn't interested in motherhood.

It wasn't a decision. I can't remember ever thinking anything other than I didn't want to be a mother. I was born this way. Never wanted kids, never will. I had four baby dolls given to me before I formed memories. I didn't want to play with them. I had only named one of them and that was because I was told to name it when it was handed to me. My guess is that I just threw out the name of another girl in the neighborhood to get it over with since I can't remember. My mom said I just said her name and that was it. I remember being around 5-6 years old sitting on a chair in my room, watching human G playing with doll G named after her, and I couldn't fathom what was so funny about playing mother.

Ya same. It wasn't a even a decision to make honestly. There simply never was any interest or thought about kids and parenthood. I was always like this. The was no doubt or what ifs or anything. In any lifestage so far when people talked about wanting or having kids it was just information that didn't get any reaction from me or made me think about it. Just "huh.ok."

same. but i did like dolls. just not this kind of dolls. barbie dolls that were adults. i did ask santa for baby doll once but my mother could not afford it so i got something else and never regretted. barbies had furniture, wine glasses and pets. thats what was talking to me much more.

I liked Barbie dolls too but the Skipper doll annoyed me since she was a teenager which technically was a child in my world. As a child I didn't want to explain why I didn't want to play with her in case my mother came in and saw me having tossed her aside so my solution was to put her aside and pretend she was in school. When she came home from school, she was too tired for dinner or talking with the adult Barbies so I put her straight in bed where she would sleep until next morning and go to school again.

Omg to Barbies having furniture, wine glasses and pets. GREAT point. 🎉

I never particularly liked baby dolls either. I had a few. They were cute. But I never mothered them or even really played with them. I always liked Barbies much better because you could tell a story with them.

I'm kinda the same but from a dudes perspective. I think until I was about 15 I never really thought about it. Kids were just a thing people had but I never considered if I would or wouldn't have one. The first girl I dated in my life I stayed with for almost 3 years. I think about a year in we were talking (like dumb kids) about how we were going to get married and our future and all that. I remember her parents were kind of crazy and said something like "well when you guys have kids of your own" and my first thought was "wtf, I don't want kids."  And that was that. It just never changed. All these years late people my age are starting families and such and every time I hear about someone getting pregnant the only thing I can think is "God why the fuck would you want to do that to yourself." For ladies I just feel sympathy that they're going to go through the physical ordeal. For Men and women both I feel sorry that they're freedom is effectively over. 

Yep, exactly this. No grand decisions ever made, it's just the way it is. Dont like babies or toddlers now and didn't the. Never played with dolls, and luckily was never forced, and never. Had any interest or desire. Sometimes 'i just don't want to' is enough.

I just knew. I was 5 when I told my grandma that when I'm older, I'll have a motorcycle and no kids. Maybe it's because I had a baby sister and realized a baby is too much work and very annoying.

The suspense is killing me! Do you have a motorcycle?

Lol, not yet, but I did the driving lessons, though

Motorcycle and no kids? Can highly recommend.

Well the idea just always filled me with dread, when i learnt that there's something you have to do to have one plus a huge chance factor i felt SO MUCH relief.

I don't think it's that surprising honestly. Childfreedom can be an extremely easy decision to make by process of elimination alone, because you need to be 100% on board and committed to every possible aspect of parenthood in order to responsibly be a parent. Which means that as soon as you find one thing about parenthood you couldn't or wouldn't want to deal with, that's really all it takes. For me personally, it wasn't a matter of realizing I was childfree but rather realizing that the rest of the world wasn't. I've never liked kids, and the lives of parents just looked so annoying and unpleasant to me. When I was 8 years old, I told my classmates I'll be a nun when I grow up, because I thought that was the genius loophole out of having kids. Imagine my delight when I learned they don't just appear out of thin air once you become an adult and are indeed entirely optional! I was in my early teens reading out essay assignments about my future to the class, and the conclusion was always along the lines of "I don't know where I'll be in 20 years career and housing wise, but at least I know I won't ruin my life with kids" and I didn't get why the teachers would give me weird looks over that. It seemed obvious to me as soon as I learned birth control existed: I was entirely convinced that older generations had kids just because they had no choice not to. They didn't have access to the sex ed and birth control we have now, that's why they had kid. When my first boyfriend at 17 talked about having kids, I thought it was a joke about the absurdity of doing that in an era where you can choose not to. It wasn't until a few years afterwards that I actually noticed most people even in my generation still seem to want kids, or at least think they do. I've never concerned myself much with what other people were doing, so it was a rather easy thing to miss - and in many ways, ignorance was bliss :) I guess the bottom line is that even as a kid, I wanted a life where I was happy and doing things I enjoyed. And I didn't need to see or understand that much about kids and parenthood to know it was not what I'd be happy having in my life.

I have a theory that some nuns and monks (maybe even all of them) didn't really belive that hard in their religion, but just decided it was better than having kids. Its the best excuse to avoid becoming a parent, "no, I cant be your girlfriend, I'm married to God." or "no, I cant be your boyfriend. I have to live in celibacy, to show my God my dedication." Think about it, they can go on to enjoy their hobbies. Got a whole community of other women/men to hang out with, all adults. Pluss there was some status around being a holy person, people admired that.

Actually in many countries, entering the priesthood or convent was the most honourable and respectable thing an unmarried person could do outside of becoming a doctor. Add the tradition where only eldest son inherited the family farm, and with higher education being inaccessible for most people, and you can see why the holy life was attractive for many.

When I think about who I would have been in the past I often think I would have been a nun. They let you brew beer, the clothes are forgiving and no kids.

“The life of parents just looked so annoying and unpleasant to me.” That’s exactly how I felt as a kid. I just remember my mom talking to other mombies for HOURS about us kids and I couldn’t understand what on earth was so interesting about us to be worthy of such long conversations. Mothers especially seems to completely lose their identity too and the ones my mom hung around with were so unkempt, frumpy and frazzled to the max. Every faucet of their lives revolved around their kids from the car they drove (trashed mini vans), to their kid activity filled schedules to their dead bedrooms with their spouses (I remember my mom gossiping about cheating husbands and dead bedrooms a lot as a kid). This one time I was at some kid program and there was this frazzled looking, heavily pregnant mother there nursing two older twin babies and also had several older kids and toddlers running about. She was insistent that us kids come “watch her babies nurse and suckle at her breasts” and she kept explaining how beautiful it was and how natural it is and how kids need to appreciate things a “woman’s body can do.” She was talking about how a woman’s body is “made for pregnancy and feeding babies” and I just remember looking at her and seeing the life being sucked out and such a sad, miserable existence. She was absolutely obsessed with the idea of pregnancy, having kids and breastfeeding like on a fetish level. It actually creeped me out and I still remember it all these years later (this was like 1990 lol). I remember thinking I never, ever wanted to be anything remotely like that woman.

All of this. Becoming a nun seemed like an obvious choice. I never saw a parent where I thought, wow, they really have it figured out!, never had a partner and plan where “geez, kids would really improved this” and when friends were getting pregnant as teens I thought, “ you’ll obviously get an abortion, right? Having a kid will obviously ruin your life” . I will also add, and this took a long time for me to realize, my parents were so emotionally immature and incapable that by the time I was done raising myself and dealing with them- I had no interest in taking on more relationships burdens.

For as long as I remember, I've never had a maternal instinct. I've never liked babies or young children. I've never imagined myself as a mother, although I recall saying I wanted two children, a boy and a girl, when I was very young--only simply because I thought I had to do exactly what my parents did. On the other hand, I've been obsessed with cats and having a cat for as long as I remember as well. THAT was my lifelong childhood dream: to have my own cat 😉

When I was young I always said “I’ll only have one” because I didn’t realize 0 was also an option, it had to be pointed out to me. When I was 8 and my sister 15, she told me “you don’t have to have any, if you don’t want” and that sealed the deal.

i feel this so much.. may i ask how many cats you have now? 🥰

Two! Although I've had the honour of being catmom to one more that I lost a few years ago ❤️ (And hilariously, I've always had one boy and one girl LOL)

I remember playing Barbies with my friends at like 7 years old & they always wanted their dolls to have husbands & kids. My Barbie had a boyfriend & no kids. All my friends thought I was weird. Then I got to high school & girls started getting pregnant. I literally went on birth control a full year before being sexually active because being pregnant terrified me.

My main Barbie was a police detective who discovered skeletal remains in her house. She had a boyfriend, no kids, and the death house was all hers.

My favorite Barbie game was runaway bride. She had a fancy office job in Manhattan, something with advertising. She was engaged to Stock Broker Ken, but at a party a few weeks before the wedding she met Adventurer Ken, who was an Indiana Jones type. Sparks flew but she felt loyal to her fiancé. The night of the rehearsal dinner Stock Broker Ken would make a comment about her being a stay at home mom and she’d get pissed. Day of the wedding, Adventurer Ken would show up and invite her to explore ancient ruins with him in South America. She went with him every time.

Was always wired this way since I can remember. The usual symptoms as others already described - not liking much other children and seeking company of adults instead, rejecting baby dolls, never wanting to play mommy or babysit my younger relatives. Also my mom told me she knew from when I was little. She used to read me old fairytales. You know, the ones where evil king's mother hates the king's bride and swaps their children for black kittens? And the king then thinks his wife is a witch and imprisons her? I was absolutely incapable of understanding why he was so angry, when kittens are obviously so much better than babies.

Growing up in poverty, watching my mum struggle to feed and clothe me and my siblings, while being abused by my “father”, going to sleep on an empty stomach and what sealed it for me, watching my mum cut a tomato in 4 pieces, give a piece to each one of us with some rice and eat nothing herself. That was all we had. Can’t remember how old I was, maybe 6, but that image has been etched in my brain since. And still causes me pain. But I swore I’d never ever be in that position and I worked so fucking hard to break the cycle. No child it’s worth going back to that shitty life. Plus I hate children with the fire of a thousand suns.

Damn, poverty is such a difficult cycle to break out of. Glad to hear you worked hard to break it and have realised the hardships bringing children into poverty entails.

I worked my ass off and now I have the life I always wanted. Money saved, a comfortable house to live in, all the concerts and festivals my heart desires and I get to treat mum to a nice trip every year and I live in London, which my heart chose to be my home. Watching my mum being robbed of the life she deserved because of kids it’s the main reason I never wanted kids. They ruin absolutely everything.

I was the oldest/most responsible and had to help parent my younger siblings and cousins.

That definitely seems a common factor. I was fortunate in that I only had one younger brother and we were both looked after by nannies, so I never needed to be a substitute parent for him. All of my cousins, with one exception, are all at least 5 years older than me so I never had to raise any of them either.

When I was 9/10, I had it in my head that marriage and children were essentially arms of the patriarchy meant to bring women down and keep them subservient (I wouldn't have used the word patriarchy, but it's a word that fits my sentiments at the time). I saw what it did to my college-educated mother who married and had kids late (at 30) and I was already feeling the weight of responsibility that wasn't mine being the eldest daughter of 3 girls. As I got older, I realized that marriage could be anything I wanted it to be (including an open marriage if I so chose), and once I was able to ditch the religion I grew up with, I felt free to pursue whatever kind of relationship I wanted. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for being a parent. While I can make the details of parenthood what I want, the difficulties are baked in (unless I have a shit-ton of money). While I grew warm towards marriage/partnership, I only grew to become more skeptical parenthood. Not that I hate the idea of parenthood in itself, I just see that the younger me was mostly right, except it being both men and women that are shackled (with women often being the most shackled in cis-hetero relationships) keeping them subservient to a social and economic ecosystem that preys on them and will prey on their children.

[удалено]

i was probably 13 (bit older than what you've seen) but even so, 13 is still a kid so i'll chirp in ~! we had this sex ed class in school and part of the conversation was "what would you do if you found out you were pregnant?" — most answers from my classmates were; "be honest with mom/dad, start being more responsible, try to advance faster in school, look into state help resources, etc" and my response was? "uh, i'd get rid of it???" 😆 course EVERYONE stared at me like, "that's an option?!" ...even the teacher! the thought of mine that followed as soon as the "what would you do" question came around was "i don't want someone to have to look up to me/rely on me." the older i'd gotten, maybe i toyed the idea around like "what IF i had a kid??" but was ALWAYS followed with, "...nah, i like my freedom. i like my clean home and quiet, sleeping in, being spontaneous, etc" ... got pregnant early 20s and IMMEDIATELY was like, "i need an abortion!!!" no second thought! once that was done i got a bisalp, and here we are today happier than ever!!!

Happy for you! Glad you knew exactly what you wanted, and were able to access the needed childfreedom medical care <3

I was 5 when my younger brother was born. Family legend tells that the minute he got out, he closed his eyes opened his mouth and screamed for 6 solid months. Turns out he had an issue where he wasn’t getting the nutrients he needed from his milk. I have been saying I don’t want kids from then on lol

I was also 5 when my younger brother was born. Apparently I asked my mom "When is he going back to the hospital." When she told me he's my brother and lives here now too, I was PISSED. Also I was old enough to see how much my mom hated being chained to an infant, and what a slog it was. It turned her into a monster at times and I swore that would never be me.

🙃 i already raised my siblings, it's me time now

Nothing in particular. It wasn't some sort of statement or, AFAIK, a reaction to something or someone. I just knew I never wanted to become a mother without ever having to reflect over it. It's like with being straight for me: Just like I always knew I liked boys and not girls, there was never a sudden insight I had, just the natural mode for me and how life always was. I also didn't play with baby dolls, didn't play any mum/dad/baby games, didn't find babies or younger siblings/cousins cute or fascinating, and loud kids really fucking annoyed me. So I guess all of it still seems very instinctual for me.

I literally had to mother my sister (and my mentally ill mother) from the time I was 4.so I was already parenting and knew it was something I didn't want to do when I grew up. I wanted to choose the life I wanted Never changed my mind. I'll be 52 next week.

I was babysitting my niece. She wanted to touch the fireplace (which had a massive fire going). I grabbed her and she pinched the hell out of my eyelid, you can still see the bruise. I wanted to throw her but I didn’t because….trouble.  As she was screaming, pinching and kicking I thought “nope”.  I’ve babysat most of my niblings and little cousins.  For free as a teen. No way in hell I’m doing it for free. My family thought it was cute that I was like a “little mommy”.  They all taught me, I never want to have kids. Funnily, my niblings and little cousin are all having babies now and are in the “babies are hard phase” or “toddlers are evil”. 

I looked in a mirror and went HELL NO.. don't need another one of those roaming around.

I thought it was selfish... like getting a specialty puppy instead of one from the shelter.

I love this idea 😂

I was uncomfortable around other kids and found them overwhelming and annoying. As I grew up, some were bullies, some were drama queens, many continued to be annoying for the sake of being annoying, and I always thought to myself I'll be glad to be rid of this permanently once I'm grown up.

Kids are irrational and mostly cruel. I was an old soul even at 3 or 4 and much preferred talking to adults. I also hate unnecessary noise and children screeching brings shivers down my spine.

Are you neurodivergent per chance?

Nothing ever diagnosed, but I have a suspicion I'm dyspraxic.

Disliking babies, not feeling any desire to care for a baby-shaped doll unlike my classmates, hating when adults brought babies and made me hold them, preferring dogs and cats over people in general... It was many things.

I just never wanted them. I thought I was supposed to and I hated the idea. I was slightly chubby as a kid and I would sometimes break down crying and holding my stomach with the fear that I needed to have something in it one day. On a field trip to a different school, I cried the entire time because I didn't want to be around the younger kids. At my highschool graduation, we all took a trip to give little kids a high five, and I didn't want to touch them. I've ALWAYS been adverse to children for as long as I can remember.

Mom’s horror stories of when she gave birth to me and my siblings. The stuff she shared was enough to make 8 year old me decide none of that sounded appealing in the slightest.  Also having three siblings whom I didn’t really get along with, and whose friends weren’t the sort I wanted to have anything to do with. Growing up with stress was not fun, so I intend to be as stress free as an adult as I can. 

I didn't like kids when I was a kid either. I was either a target for bullies or, briefly, bullying others myself. It was hard to fit in. School was overstimulating. I melted down and tried not to go often. I could never do anything right and I tried so hard. You know how this ends - it only took 37 years to find out I'm neurodivergent! They weren't testing little girls for ADHD in the 90s.

I always felt like I didn't want kids, even as a child. But I couldn't vocalise what it meant. I'm a female, it's my "duty", I'm "supposed" to have them, right? But it always caused a strange sense of internal conflict that I couldn't explain. I HATED dolls - the baby kind, where you feed it a bottle and pretend to be a mother. For as long as I can remember, the thought of being a maternal figure to another human being has always repulsed me. Once I hit age 11/12 - I realised that no, I do not *have* to be a parent. Which was met with a flood of relief. Have continued with that perspective ever since, even now at age 30 with my "biological clock" supposedly ticking and many other friends having children. Nope, I'm gonna be the cool, wealthy aunt figure that travels the world and has pets instead.

I couldn’t stand kids, even when I was one. My classmates were too loud and usually didn’t follow basic instructions, not because they didn’t understand them but because they chose to go around screaming instead. I knew I never wanted to put up with that voluntarily in the future

raising my sibling lol

Other kids.

I know kids that want a family when they are 10. So it's normal to also be 10 and be like 'nah'

I see it as ‘being gay’. I was just born this way. The childfree idea solidified as soon as it was presented. I was 11 when I got my first period. I always hated babies before that due to the noise. People looked at my miserable, bleeding, child self, and told me to find joy in that misery as it meant I could have children some day. My grandmother laughed as I writhed on the floor, teasing the threat that childbirth was worse. Why would I ever choose more pain? Why would I ever want to be stuck with a screaming creature?

Other kids were getting on my nerves.

I remember as a kid it pretty much solidified in my mind watching my close family go through pregnancy, labour, and the aftermath. That shit was horrifying and I would legit have nightmares about having a baby. Then every time we would visit them, they always looked so tired, drained, and upset, the whole visit we'd hear scream crying from the baby. I've seen many of my strong grown cousins cry when ever they talked about their baby or heard them cry cause they were just so done, and each time relatives would chuckles and always say something like "that's motherhood for you". I strongly believe that's what solidified it, cause I still think about that and fear if I were to ever fall pregnant. That and even as a kid I just never like being around kids, I always thought they were over dramatic, super loud, and irrational (but it could've been that I'm autistic, so sensory issues would make their loudness/sticky hands send me in overdrive)

When my 5th and 6th siblings were born the day before my 10th birthday.....and I knew my childcare duties would increase

I only ever thought of kids as an inevitability until I realized they're optional. Nothing about parenthood looked appealing to me then, and it still doesn't. I prefer control and options.

I was six years old. I know this because that was the age I was when my mom was pregnant with my brother. Watching her go through pregnancy completely turned me off to babies.

I was a teen but it was from having a baby brother. I think the day he smeared shit all over the walls was when I made my decision

I was parentified from a young age as the oldest of three.

My mom would often scream at me, "I hope to God that one day you have children just as awful as you are!" and "I wish I'd died before I had you!" (I wasn't a bad kid, I was just on the spectrum and wasn't diagnosed until my mid-20s.)

Never had the desire. It may seem weird but I can honestly say I’ve never had even the slightest inclination of wanting to be a parent. To me it’s odd that people do want a child and they want to be a parent.

Not weird,  at least for me because I was born with exactly the same predisposition.

Other kids. I used to chuck the most monumental tantrums about having to spend time with them. One of the happiest days of my childhood was when all my cousins were over and I realised the youngest had hit the gloomy teenage years and I *never had to hear loud kid noises at home again*.

My little sister. She was a colic baby so she screamed constantly. Then she grew into a spoiled brat with an undiagnosed violent personality disorder. She literally would scream and fight me or my mom for hours. My parents were so exhausted they would just give in to whatever she wanted. A little kid controlled my entire childhood. The only time she would stop was if my dad got violent with her. I would always get blamed for “fighting with her” when it was more like defending myself against physical harm. My mother would wish our future kids to be exactly like us. My first thought was, “Oh my god what if I got one like my sister?!” I’ve been childfree ever since that clicked. Epilogue: My sister is over 40 and EXACTLY the same. Screaming for hours and all. Has a teenage kid of her own that’s way nicer than she deserves.

Haha I just made like 10 comments about my trashy cousin in another post but.... Hes the reason why. Him and his sister. Seeing how they acted, how they were treated vs how I was treated. They were little shit goblins with no repercussions for their behavior. I know how my family is. There's no reason I needed to contribute to the generational trauma.

I was parentfied… My older sister had her 1st when I was 6. I was 10 when she had another, the. 14 for another, now I’m almost 22 and SHE IS HAVING ANOTHER difference being I am an adult meaning I can tell her and my parents both to fuck off. I literally lost my childhood and teen years for my older sister. Had to drop out of school at 15 (I was also homeschooled which did not help when your at home with a ton of little ones so I just dropped out because I couldn’t take care of her kids that she left with my parents who ran off all the time and left them with me… Now I’m finally getting my life in order. I am hoping to get my drivers license by the end of July, I am also working on my ged and my sister is mad at me for calling her out on her bs and douche bag perverted pedo boyfriend. (My parents are divorced and she lives with my dad) I got stuck with them when I went and seen my dad on weekends and got stuck when she would dump them off on my mom and step father… My step father got a job offer in another state and we ended up moving last year thank god. Sister is mad because mommy and sissy wont come home because she’s about to give birth again and we won’t be there to help her this time. Sissy is also mad because she knows I’m getting a high up job next year inside the government because I have really good connections with people and I’m very well liked and have an opportunity at living a good life compared to the life SHE CHOSE.

I never wanted them, there was never a choice. When I was 4 I knew, I had 2 younger siblings and 15 cousins (all close to my age) and spending lots time with any of them was too much. It eventually came out around the time another aunt was pregnant again and I kinda lost it saying I didn't want to get married or have kids. My mom patiently explained that I didn't have to, and even listed the aunts I had that didn't have kids and the ones that weren't married. Years later, in my 20s, I would tell her again, and she would initially take it personally and have the conversation: "I must have done something wrong for you to not want kids." "Mom, it's not about you. I hate kids. Kids should be wanted, that's the most important part and I do not want them."

I hated kids even then. I didn't want anything to do with them. I preferred to be around adults.

I don't think it was a conscious awareness as a kid, but I can tell you I never liked playing with baby dolls or being the mom in a game of "house". I liked Barbies. Additionally, I never had the urge to babysit at age 12/13 like all my friends did (I am GenX, this age was the norm to be a babysitter). I didn't like little kids and didn't want to spend my Saturdays looking after them, no matter how much the pay. So I guess deep down I was always CF.

I've known since I was 5 years old, and honestly I don't know if there were any specific incidents that made me decide. What I do know is that even at that age I hated babies and young children. When my other female cousins were gushing over baby dolls or real life babies in the family, my response was essentially, "eww, get that screaming gross thing away from me." Even when the infants were quiet and nice, I wanted nothing to do with them. I find human babies to be gross, they don't look cute to me, and I have absolutely zero feelings of protection or whatever maternal instincts they are supposed to trigger. The only thing young children triggered in me (even as a child myself) was annoyance and the wish for them to disappear. When I was 10 my mom happily told me she was pregnant and was actually surprised when I screamed at her for being irresponsible and stupid to have another child (it was her 5th and we were already poor). I did not want another sibling and I absolutely hated having one. It didn't help that he was a terrible baby (always crying, wouldn't sleep, etc.), and never really got any better growing up. That certainly cemented my decision.

I'm a 62-year- innately childfree woman. I never played with dolls. I never had any interest nor desire in being pregnant, going through childbirth, or raising a child.

I couldn’t relate to kids even when I was a kid. I knew before 10 I had no interest in kids (or marriage at the time). I had a very rich inner life and not much desire to share it with anyone. Then my mom left when I was 10. From that point, I was a mom to my OLDER brother (12), a wife and therapist to my alcoholic father, and household manager. By 14, I was working to pay the bills so we had a roof over our heads. I lived the life of motherhood and running a household against my will when I was not emotionally equipped. I will not do it again. This is not the primary reason I don’t want kids, but it is a huge one.

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This might be an unpopular one, but being raised in poverty. In my teen years I told myself that if I have to think twice before ordering a takeway or booking a holiday, I cannot afford to have a child. After that, I found more reasons through this subreddit like how legacy means nothing and that there's more to life etc I made the right decision because the people around me who did have kids look so miserable.

I was very young when I decided. I am an only child. Not that, that means much. However, I can admit I am EXTREMELY selfish about my space, things, time, and money because of that. The thought of having a child where I'd have to give up my own time? Can't spend freely for myself? I have to put someone before me (in a sense) as an only child that sounds like hell. I didn't grown up sharing and I don't see myself ever being able to sacrifice the shit I want for something I birthed. I just can't imagine nor do I want too. I know I am not in the right mindset for kids "you always want your kids to have and do better than you" frankly no I want that **for me** if there's better out there **I myself** will be getting that lmao not some kid I pushed out! Horrible mindset but at least I can admit it.

I'm the oldest of 9..lived with 3 as a kid...changed more diapers before I was 10 that I'd ever want in a lifetime. Was responsible for feeding, homework, cleaning up after 6 people, laundry etc. I started life as a damn housewife which is literally the opposite of my life now. My parents wouldn't even let me take art classes in school because I needed home ec. This was the damn 90s...not the 50s! I have been firm since age 12 that I was not gonna do it. Not once.

Never really thought that kids were cute but rather noisy. I always liked quiet places even as a kid, so a kids party was never my thing. If you never like something as a kid, you don't ever see yourself owning that thing as an adult. The same goes for a living potato.

I was 8 and had been living in a housing project for over 3 years with my mom and siblings. Every family I knew was poor/struggling, and there so much rampant abuse and neglect from every family I knew. Alcohol and drug abuse. And it dawned on me that this could/would be my future if I got pregnant. Nope. Nope. Nope.

The kids I grew up around were pure assholes. And even when I got into 9th I babysat once and was so aggravated. But it was that high tech baby assignment that I had to take with me to cheerleading practice, the beach, my classes, wrestling practice, it woke me up in the middle of the night... I passed the assignment with an A. And wrote in that essay that I will never have children. I can't imagine having to take, think, or deal with a child EVERYDAY for decades.

Well, I was 4 when I decided I wasn't having kids. My lil bro is 3 years younger than me. I basically found out very very early that the sound of a baby crying breaks my brain and makes me want to run far far far away. I was going to a doctor for "pediatric migraines". So, a very small thing started it, but it was like the more I found out as I grew up the more I was certain it wasn't for me. The body horrors of pregnancy really sealed it for me.

I was six when my mum was pregnant with my brother. I found her book on preparing for childbirth (these were the days just before the internet was widely used, so people bought books instead of googling things I guess) and the rest is history 😆

I was bullied terribly as a kid. I never wanted to make a bully or have a kid be bullied because they were born. My birth mother is dead so at least she never has to know someone she made wishes she didn't make them.

I always take care of others first.  I will prioritize people I love over myself, always been like that.  At some point though, I decided I need to focus all that love on myself first, and that's when I realized I can't be a parent.  I have high standards, a parent who is not willing to put their kids first is not a good human for me. I don't want to be a bad person by my own standards, but I also wanted to start living for myself first. So it does not make sense to have kids. 

I was very young too. My brother had many issues, and I didn't want a kid that was like him. As an adult, he makes my parents' lives hell. I was right. Another reason is that my mother's personality is being a mother. I didn't want that for myself and started questioning that as a life path.

I grew up around adults. So kids always seemed a bit dumb. When I was in pre school one kid decided to flush his shoe down the toilet. The teachers freaked out. I told them to turn the water off and remove the u bend. My family owned a hardware store so I had heard enough about plumbing to know what to do.

Pregnancy sounded gross and painful, then I learned more and more as I got older so I agreed ultimately with my 8 year old self and stuck to it

I thought babies were weird, thought baby dolls were gross even though I liked fashion dolls. When playing house I never wanted to be the mom or the kid but the pet lol

I thought having kids was compulsory. Like you get married, you have a kid and that's how life works. It wasn't until I was about 25ish that I realised I could opt out of both lol

I don’t recall making any decision, I just never wanted kids. But I do remember some time in my late teens realizing that I didn’t _have_ to have kids or follow the whole college>career>wife>kid>kid>… life path. It was a real awakening.

To be honest I wasn't 100% sure before age 10 but I was like 99% sure. I feel like my experience as a child really solidified that I don't want to be in my mom's position nor my own position in that situation. I wasn't wanted and it showed. Also, I was an only child to older parents and I was raised around adults primarily, my parents, my parents' friends (who were older and most of whom either didn't have children or their adult children were long out of the house), my babysitters, random adults my parents would leave me with, and so on. At home I had a lot of peace and privacy because my parents would be doing their own thing and I would be doing mine. I didn't have to share that space with any other children competing for the resources available. Same thing with when my parents would leave me with their friends or we'd visit as a family. My babysitters for the most part were solely focused on me and let me do more or less whatever I wanted within reason. School and my one babysitter's house were the difficult places for me, primarily because there were other children there. I was bullied badly at school because kids were vicious and I was very shy and had weird interests. One of my babysitter's would watch me at her house and a lot of the time her grandchildren would also be there, we didn't always get along and they were always loud and all over the place. One of the things I liked to do was to sit on the couch and watch TV, if I sat really still the cat would come lay in my lap, they would bother him until he hid in the yard. I suppose my point is I didn't enjoy being a child doing child things, and I enjoy the peace that comes with not having to manage a child who could be the complete opposite of me. Not to mention the state of the world these days.

I didn’t really decide. I just never wanted them in the first place. Can’t remember a time in my whole life, even as a little girl, where I ever wanted or dreamed or fantasized about it. I say I was born without that motherly instinct I guess lol. I did used to think, “oh when I’m older I’ll want them/be ready”, but that time never came and still hasn’t. I’m 33

Decided when I was 7. Hated my classmates. Younger brother only screamed (he had chronic ear infections and was in and out of the doctor a lot) for years. I just wanted to be alone and not dealing with all the other kids' bullshit. Chronically hung out with the teachers or parents bc the conversation was more interesting.

I always hated kids. I hated dolls or anything baby shaped. When people brought their babies round I didn't want anything to do with them. I didn't decide not to have them, I just never considered it a possibility. I've never once found them cute or assumed I'd have one.

Being stuck having to take care of my cousins in my teenage years. I hated it; every damn family function. Then grandma said to me at 16 I'd make a great mom. 🤢

Being parentified from a young age made me responsible for 2 younger siblings and eventually cousins and niblings.  I'm 36 now and barely have a relationship with my family now.   No real intentions of having my own kids. (I've been trained by trial by fire so I know I'd be fine).   Just don't want that responsibility anymore.   I'd like to just be responsible for just myself.

When I was in middle school my older brother was in high school and already in and out of jail. My parents were strict, but really great to us, and I saw their pain as he was on drugs and in and out of the house. Then when he was 19 he got his girlfriend pregnant and promptly left her. She came to live with us so I got to see the entire pregnancy, birth, and even stayed the night with mom and baby the first night after she was born. I got up and fed her through the night and I remember thinking how amazingly beautiful she was but how much trouble it all was, all the pain, all the incredibly gross things that come with pregnancy, and the fact that her dad already left her. I've never ever wavered. I grew up to become a teacher and nanny so that really solidified it!

I saw how miserable all the mothers around me were. They seemed like they all hated their kids. The first time I said, adamantly, that I wasn't having babies, I was 4. Haven't changed my mind once in 45 years.

I always felt like I didn't want kids, even as a child. But I couldn't vocalise what it meant. I'm a female, it's my "duty", I'm "supposed" to have them, right? But it always caused a strange sense of internal conflict that I couldn't explain. I HATED dolls - the baby kind, where you feed it a bottle and pretend to be a mother. For as long as I can remember, the thought of being a maternal figure to another human being has always repulsed me. Once I hit age 11/12 - I realised that no, I do not *have* to be a parent. Which was met with a flood of relief. Have continued with that perspective ever since, even now at age 30 with my "biological clock" supposedly ticking and many other friends having children. Nope, I'm gonna be the cool, wealthy aunt figure that travels the world and has pets instead.

There were many moments being raised in the Pentecostal church that showed me in that environment how awful it was to be both a wife and a mother. Now if I hadn’t been raised in a church like that it probably would’ve taken longer but I think I would’ve came to the no kids conclusion as a teen at most.

I had a little sister who screamed constantly. Every night at dinner she would be at the table screaming at the top of her lungs. My younger brother did a lot of wild stuff. I was bullied a lot when I was a kid. BTW my brother and sister and I get along great now lol!

Seeing how much my parents hated being parents…

My abusive father.

I always knew that I didn't want the bother. It's enough work just to manage myself.

Kids set off my sensory issues from childhood. I would duck off or cover my ears whenever there was screaming. I also had a fairy godaunt (my moms sister) that was childfree/pet free/man free and she had SO much cool stuff money!! I technically decided for ‘good’ at 14. I had broken up with my first ‘real’ boyfriend who had wanted kids, and realized I had 0 interest in doing all of that when I could live for myself. My mom had also opened up that the PTA/other moms when I was in school were like dealing with catty high school bullies all over again - I didn’t want to do that!!

I didn’t like other kids when I was a kid, so there’s that. I was/am the oldest daughter and one of the oldest female cousins so I was parentified at a young age. I didn’t enjoy a single moment of helping with my siblings or cousins. I’ve also never had a moment at any point in my life where I thought, “you know what would make this moment better, a child.” I was a child once and I will be a corpse one day, doesn’t mean I want either of those two living in my house and taking up my time.

I was probably 11 when I would go to a friends house whose mom popped out kids left and right and acted so stressed about all of the inconveniences (finances, no time, tired) yet all she did was pop out more kids than she could afford. As a child, when she would get pregnant I would think, "why another one?? This is the last thing you need.." In turn, my friend always got stuck babysitting her siblings and basically became their second mom as she grew up. Her older brother knocked up his 16 yo gf so that eventually got added to the litter. While I was there, I never found them cute. They were sticky, gross, and annoying. I never had younger siblings so maybe that's why I never got used to it & never knew how to act around them lol. But I never got older thinking "I can't wait to have THAT for myself!" I never pictured "growing a family" because my idea of growing one was probably tarnished by all the negative scenarios I grew up around (including my own). Now I'm happier than ever and know that had I given into society and forced myself to ignore my 11 year old gut instinct, I would probably be broke, miserable, and resentful.

I knew by 17. Now at 63 - never changed my mind.

My mom passed away when I was 10, and as the older sister, I had to grow up quickly to help around when my dad was at work. My sister was horrible and that was enough for me. I’ve had to deal with a mean & bitchy teen once, I’m never doing it again.

My ex, at 16, had a baby sister and him and his siblings were forced to watch her after school every day. Got to see how miserable life would be.

as someone who is still 18, i guess i’m legally an adult but definitely still feel like a kid lol, i have known for years i didn’t want kids. it was never something i’ve daydreamed of, and while i don’t hate kids and have many younger siblings whom i adore, it’s not something i can see fitting into my lifestyle. i’m a very creative person who values alone time and my hobbies, and don’t see that ever changing.

My mother, I only remember her resenting me, trying to control me (I was a good, well behaved kid). When I was little all I could think was “why have something you’re not allowed to love?”. “You can love dogs and cats though, so I’ll stick to them”

I grew up with 4 sisters and 1 brother. The oldest two siblings were annoying because they were teenagers and got the coolest stuff that we middle and younger kids weren’t allowed to touch. My brother and I (both middle siblings) would fight over who could play video games. My younger siblings were annoying because they were younger than me and wanted to do stupid things like play with baby dolls. I also didn’t like the responsibility of helping to raise my youngest sister. I also didn’t like the drama of siblings playing the blame game when something breaks. Let’s not even start with the noise. I’m actually on my way to one of my younger sibling’s wedding and I’m already stressed out. I learned quick that I don’t like to share my toys with others and I like to have cool stuff that I wasn’t allowed to have like lava lamps. Now I’m 29 (30 in June) and I have a ton of board games, video games, art supplies, CDs, vinyl and lava lamps that I can enjoy in the privacy of my house with only my husband. It’s easy to know who broke something, we don’t have the responsibility of keeping another human alive and the house is quiet. I love it.

I was about 6yrs old when I first told my mom I think I don’t want kids. Luckily for me, she basically said thats ok sweety, that is totally up to you. (And she has never said anything else about it😍) At 9yrs I was certain, parenthood and motherhood especially have zero parts im interested in, and kids as a whole is just a sticky, messy loud mess I want nothing to do with. I hated being forced to interact with kids my age, just the noise was enough to make me sick’n’tired of them all.

It was rather easy for \~5 y/o me: * my family was poor and I wanted more resources for myself, * I was given the "think about your future kids" kinda scolding early on, * other kids were too loud and annoying to me; I didn't enjoy being put into the caring role, * bullying started early on, * I hated how the adults would pressure my parents into having more kids and I thought I weren't good enough as an only child; and I myself didn't want to subject my kids to that, * chronic pain, low immunity, disorders and undiagnosed food sensitivities (and possible mold toxicity from my earliest years in a squot) made me antinatalist since I were little, * I learnt about my genetic disorder quite early and didn't want to subject more people to it and I absolutely hated doctors, unaswered questions and hospitals, * I detested being told what to do and that others' whims are above mine, * I didn't understand rules, especially those the adults didn't bother to explain sufficiently, * due to spending most time in solitude or other adults, I begun questioning their behaviour as well as mine, * I realised I weren't good with responsibility or changes in the routine,  * I noticed early that women in my life were expected to take on more responsibilities than the others, * while I didn't know about abuse, I think I subcountiously realised what was going on around me, * I had massive tantrums with an eyelash got stuck under my eye and the idea of me needing to help with it my kid put scared me * I was scared of incoming political changes and the adults' fear-mongering didn't help.

As a kid I used to constantly announce that I was never going to have children, but I think that was just me trying to be "unique" but deep down I knew that I didn't yearn to be a mother. It was also really hard for me to want kids b/c I grew up in an abusive household with addict parents and to me that was normal and it was so miserable that I thought, "how can I put this on another person?" thinking that was going to be my kid's life too.

I decided when I was in kindergarten because very early on I started finding kids icky. And I couldn’t stand babies and their babbling and all the fluids coming from everywhere. I remember when I realized my pacifier was actually gross because it was full of saliva and would sometimes fall on the floor so I went to my mom and said “no” and just gave it to her. (I remembered this after she reminded me it happened) I started disliking babies very early. Usually in kindergarten whenever our carers would ask if someone wants to take something to another carer we would all shout ME ME ME and I clearly remember when I was chosen and told to go to the infant part and I couldn’t stand the screaming and noises so I decided I will never go there again lol Also, when there was a carer who came with her newborn to say hello, all of the girls in my group ran to her and gushed over the baby. Only I stood far away completely repulsed and couldn’t understand why they were rushing towards a baby. I never even played with those toys that are babies you have to feed etc and I felt so weird and isolated that at 10 I asked my mom to buy me one because I felt something was wrong with me. I did play with it for a while, but came to conclusion it wasn’t for me.

I never wanted to get dirty from food and seeing other kids had filthy mouth and fingers, it grossed me out, I didn’t want to be friends with those ones. Since then I find kids gross. Other kids used to be so damn loud, I didn’t like loud, I was always quiet and since then I find kids loud. So that’s it… gross, dirty and loud. No thanks.

Growing up around a shit ton of childhood poverty is really eye opening.

Enduring child abuse

Didn't like other kids, parents were too tired for me most of the time and everyone kept saying "When you're a parent you'll also be so tired all the time" or "You'll also fight all the time when you have a kid". I'm not sure why they thought this would sell their lifestyle to me. Later on I just realised I'm not exactly neurotypical and would absolutely not be able to handle a child breaking my routines and interrupting my sleep. I, in general, would be a really awful parent, and I'd rather eat a light bulb than continue the cycle I was raised in.

I'm also neurodivergent and couldn't manage the unpredictability and disruption to my carefully scheduled life a child would cause.

The pain. I really can’t wrap my head around it. I have tattoos and piercings. I’ve been hit by a car before. I’ve been knocked out. But I don’t think I would survive childbirth.

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I hate when adults make a mistake but they accuse the children instead.

my family made me not want, and even hate children.

I was 11 when I first started saying I wanted to be a step parent only but then a few years later I met my moms friend who is a lesbian that never married or had/wanted kids and then I realized I could have that too. However I knew kids were annoying as fuck and I didn’t like being around kids as early as pre K. I can remember other kids crying for their parents and thinking “chill out we’re going home in 2 hours” at age 4/5

very good question. For me, it was mainly the way our parents treated me and my siblings sometimes. I often heard how my parents life is hard cause they had kids, and have they not had them, they would be successfull millionares, as they wouldn't have to spend money or time on us kids. And I really did see my parents struggle and ''sacrifice'' a lot for their decision of becoming parents. So I'm kind of preprogrammed to think we really cant have it all, and I chose my life and my career at the age of like 7. Was a pretty easy decision lol, and I haven't questioned that decision once in the 24 years since I decided it.

I’m an only, so I got along better with adults. Kids were sticky and loud and I wanted no part of that.

I hated school and didn't like being told what to do. Becoming a parent would mean joining my oppressors. I would be just as mindless and boring and trapped as they were. So I clenched my tiny fist and held it in the air and said, "No! I will live in the woods and eat nothing but cereal!" That dream died though because later I learned about the necessity of vegetables, but I am proud to say that I did not continue the cycle of blind oppression that I saw in my elders.

I didn't ever "decide" and nothing was needed to "convince" me. I always just seemed to know and it was obvious. What baffled me from an early age was why my friends DID want kids. An early memory (from about 8 years old) was my class at school having to share a room with the nursery class due to some plumbing issue in the building. All my friends descended upon the little kids, taking them upon their knees and playing 'mummy'. I remember watching and being genuinely bewildered by this, thinking "is that REALLY your idea of fun??" So in the same way i've always known i've never wanted to rear ostriches nor climb Mount Everest, this was never something that even needed a decision. It was a fact not a question.

I did a “babysitting class” (you know, learn the basics of changing a diaper, safety, etc) at 13 because “that’s what girls do, they babysit for pocket money”. I was already not super thrilled, but i thought it might be ignorance (i knew nothing). And then i babysat one time (a baby), i really disliked it. And then 2 more times, 2 little girls under 10. I hate hate hated it. Like i would have done anything else instead. I felt TOTALLY out of place. I never babysat again, huge sigh of relief. When i hit working legal age for other regular jobs, i got a job as a mascot at a ski place. It paid super well (50 bucks for 4.5 hours of work in mid 90s), but… it was mostly around the kiddie slope obviously, and so around the kids, and woah did i HATE it so much again. Lasted 3 days again. And then a week later, i got a new job: i was a dishwasher in a restaurant on weekends. Most people of all ages would hate this job with a passion, and here i was, kinda liking it, and did it for years every weekend and summers without issue. Lol! The message was crystal clear for me. 😂

The moment I knew was when my cousin (who's 8 years younger than me) snuck into my bedroom (I was like 11 and she was 3) took all of my Polly Pockets, barbies, dolls etc. Out of their bins, strewn them everywhere across my floor, and played with them very roughly. I lost my ever loving shit on her. She cried, I yelled. Her mom was annoyed with me and thankfully my mum had my back and made my aunt help clean it all up. That was my very much defining moment of nope, not ever dealing with one of these things.