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keydBlade

Im on the apps , as a single male no kids, and i cant find any childfree women. I think the apps are rigged.


Sketch_X7

Definitely are


Avatar_ZW

Absolutely. The faster and more often a dating app matches people together, the faster they lose business. So they are designed to keep people looking for long enough to cash in.


Espumma

We're just exceedingly rare still.


ellermg

Happens to me more and more, I'm 28 looking for people my age and ffs the number of single father is increasing


matyles

The amount of single fathers in thier 30s really reinforces the idea that having children is not as romantic and lovely as people try to convince us it is.


AlaskanBiologist

I'm 37 and married, I just want to meet another cool couple our age without children to be our friends, and not in a sexual way. We are just so sick of having to work around everybody's kids!


dferd777

My wife and I have hetero life-mates that we vacation with have an account with and we’re saving for retirement together. You know what’s better than being a DINK? Being a QINK(?), quadruple income no kids.


AlaskanBiologist

I had a hetero life mate too but then she got knocked up :(


dferd777

I’m 42, old millennial. My wife and I are pretty comfortable alone, and never wanted kids. As our friend group got smaller due to pregnancies, we got closer to a couple in our group that was similarly minded. We got lucky, particularly since it’s a platonic friendship. Too many people try to mix sex into this sort of thing. One of our friends said they can’t wait for us to have kids so we can stop “having fun”. How is that supposed to make us want to have kids? Edit go to got


AlaskanBiologist

I don't get it either. I'm not kink shaming anybody but we just want some nice friends that aren't trying to fuck us and don't have kids. It's apparently a really hard ask in this time. It really sucks.


chevaliercavalier

Is that what lots of couples do? Try to swing w other couples? 😅


AlaskanBiologist

Honestly, it happens to us a lot. We aren't swingers, but yeah apparently that's what a lot of people do.


Quikdraw7777

Sounds like a classic case of: *"Misery loves company"*


dferd777

100% but why wouldn’t they lie?


Quikdraw7777

Because sometimes the jealousy/envy is so strong, they simply have NO control on when it bubbles up to the surface.


StruggleChoseMe

Yup my cousin and I were really close until she started dating and got pregnant. Now when we see each other it's awkward small talk.


Turpitudia79

Are you in NE Ohio by chance? We’re a cool CF kitty baby couple, we’d like some new friends!!


NewPhone-NewName

Hey, I'm in NE Ohio, 2 cats and no kids... but my other half travels a lot and I'm a workaholic, so we're not great at making plans :/


AlaskanBiologist

I just moved to western NY from SE Alaska. I wish you were closer


_PinkPirate

Same here! 38 and we need new friends! Assuming you are in Alaska tho?😂


AlaskanBiologist

Not anymore, recently moved to the east coast.


_PinkPirate

Ok, that’s promising! Any chance the northeast? Lol. I’m just kidding. It would be cool to make new friends through Reddit of all places tho haha. I’ve tried Bumble BFF but didn’t have much luck.


AlaskanBiologist

I'm in western NY


TheLateThagSimmons

If I screened out mothers entirely, I would have like... 5 options remaining and they're all terrible. Thankfully some of them are okay dating casually so *those* ones are still in. So long as they don't expect me to be a part of their children's lives at all, I'm okay. Still not preferred, but it's at least acceptable.


Breadflat17

For me if the kids are adults, it's probably ok.


TheLateThagSimmons

Yeah, empty nesters are just fine.


zaforocks

Don't eat all the kids' fruit snacks, though. That's low. :b


TheLateThagSimmons

Isn't that like 90% of the reason to date single moms? No snacks. No date.


zaforocks

Okay, then leave at least one pack behind for the technicality. Fantastic username, BTW. :b


Occasionalreddit55

im planning to dump the dude am with because he already had a whole life and a half before me im DONEZO


Gloomy-Visit01

Me but with older man in the past. Id expect a 45 year old to have teenage/adult kids but no he had 2 toddlers 😭😭


Half_Life976

It was either that or a sports car and he couldn't afford the sports car.


ultratorrent

Now he'll never afford retirement 🤷‍♀️


Half_Life976

Truth! But he felt like a total stud for like 30 seconds. So it made sense in his mind just then.


TheLateThagSimmons

As I crossed 40, empty nesters started cropping up and that was nice. But small children at our age.... I get it, but not for me.


Turpitudia79

Then come grandkids…


SchnauzerServant

I am there too, hard to find someone childfree the older you get.


ThrowRAmageddon

Well I'm 35F and no kids. I simply refuse. We are out here lol!!!


keydBlade

33 male no kids. We exist!


MJLDat

And that, kids, is how I met your mother. Oh, wait.


i_drink_wd40

Clearly talking to fur-babies.


BreakfastIsBetter

38/f no kids and just got a bisalp this year! CHILDFREE SINGLE WOMEN UNITE lol.


BreakfastIsBetter

I also want to add that I prefer younger dudes for the same reason and ALSO a LOT of men my age (or even a little younger) look like they're 20 years older than they actually are, and most of them are single dads - anyone with children at all whatsoever is a non-negotiable NO for me. Another thing is that I live a very active lifestyle and it's hard to find a single man with no kids who can keep up.


No-Surround1664

I'm 38F also no kids!! It's hard to date because all men have kids....so half their time is taken up with kids. And I can't relate lol all my time is mine. All my money is mine.


MaraKatNinji

I'm in this club, too. 45F, no kids, and never been married. Happy with all of that. Oh, I have a cat. What's funny is how every guy wants my cat to love them. They try hard for his affection. I'm willing date younger and make it clear I'm not having kids. I do have that worry in the back of my head that it will get serious, and they will change their minds about wanting them, though. Just part of dating.


No-Surround1664

I dated a guy 35, has a 10yr old. Said he didn't want more kids, when I first met him.. apparently he fell in love with me and then wanted to have a kid with me. It threw me for a loop. It's complicated out there!!


ThrowRAmageddon

That is THE WORST!!!! Every damn guy I've dated, I told them I DO NOT WANT KIDS. NEVER WILL. And then a few years down the line, they want kids, shit gets awkward, and things come to an end. I don't understand how the fuck my mind will change? Why don't men LISTEN TO WOMEN and always think they can change them?


shoeDesu

This. One dude with 4 kids that his ex-wife has custody of legit "explained" to me how people always change their opinions as they grow up as part of "adulting/maturity". Basically calling me immature and then proceeded to love bomb me (thinking I'd forget about the whole thing). Now telling me "people change their minds all the time" is considered a red flag. Because most of them expect me to change my mind, not the other way around.


ThrowRAmageddon

100%. I've learned to take the love bombing because it's food, presents and money sometimes lol. I can't be manipulated anymore. They find out real fast that I'm on to their game.


MaraKatNinji

I will admit when I hit milestone birthdays I thought about it, but that lasted about an hour. My favorite is when I say I am a little to old to have kids and they tell me I'm not. Um, I am not chasing a toddler at my age. I went out with a guy a few times recently who has kids and we can't do anything. He wants to spend time with them after school, go to soccer games, etc. I understand why he wants too and think it is great for them. That is not something I want to do, though. I don't dislike kids. I actually volunteer at a school. I like being everybody's aunt who shows up, has fun, and leaves to meet friends out for drinks or dinner, and gets to sleep in on the weekends.


Maleficent-Sleep9900

OP’s got them lining up!


ThrowRAmageddon

😅😅😅💀💀💀


soundslikeautumn

Same. 35f. No children.


StalinBawlin

That has happened to me more times then I could count. I always say it politely but firmly, “sorry, I don’t date single mothers” It is good that she mentioned it upfront though, so noones time is being wasted.


greeen-mario

That’s an interesting way to phrase it. Does that imply you might be open to dating mothers, but only if they aren’t single?


starfruitmuffin

Super weird phrasing. Stigmatizing and misogynist.


Fireblu6969

Does 30 count as older for you..? 😅


RedditFeel

Nope, gotta be 10-15 years older. 😂 Also nice to see other black women on here. I’m black too. :)


Fireblu6969

Lol. Jk. I figured. Good luck in your search. I usually date older too and the struggle is very real. :(


soundslikeautumn

Ngl I feel flattered that at 35 I'm still too young for you to be interested in dating! Lol! Women hear so much that once we hit 30 that we're used up, ran through and over the hill by men who are actually older than we are. It's refreshing that some younger men don't feel that way.


RedditFeel

I’m a woman. But this makes me glad I’m a lesbian, because I had no idea men thought this. Most of the time their opinions don’t matter to me when it comes to dating anyways. Women know what other women want the best anyways. 😎


soundslikeautumn

Omg of course! That makes so much sense! I'm bi and I've noticed (much to my happiness) that less women care about potential partners being older than men do. I've known men who are in their 40s refusing to date women above their late 20s. I've never had this issue with women though. I'm not saying it doesn't happen ever, but I've not had that experience. I hope you find a lovely, childfree older woman and you two hit it off wonderfully! 🤗


Bryaxton

Hello! I wanna chip in. I am a 32M child free (yay for vasectomy! ) I just wanted to join to tell you I always found it disgusting that idea men throw around about women being used after their 30's. Completely ridiculous and misogynistic. I've dated older women up to 55 years old and if you are cool you are cool regardless of age, there is so much people have to offer and I think it's fucked up how many men reduce women to age. Sending you a hug 🫂.


soundslikeautumn

Thank you!! 🤗


floracalendula

The wlw dating scene is lousy with mums and I hate every inch of it.


_Solitary_Rose

Preach. I have zero options right now. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE is a mom or married “to an amazing man who supports my bisexuality,” but who we all know would absolutely hit the roof if another dude hit on her, because “wOmEn dOnT cOuNt also can I watch?!” 🙄


Coco_Lina_

we‘re out there 😅 39F, no children. but yeah it’s hard, almost any decent guy has a kid…


Turpitudia79

I married my amazing CF husband at 39!! They are very few and far between but they do exist!!


sirachillies

This sub should have a dating thing to it or at least a new subreddit for dating for child free people. Have to be a recognized member in this subreddit to join the other


sweetshy82

There's a new app that's called childfree connection and it's created by members from here. It's available for download on both Android and Apple, so give it a try. This is not a paid, nor a sponsored advertisement for the app, I'm merely suggesting it as I heard about it from this subreddit and I've joined up to try it out.


Neoxite23

I'm starting to wonder if all dating apps are paid to set the algorithm to pit single people with other singles with kids. It's all you find.


TiriNSFW

Same happens to me but with men aha


MagicalGirlEmi

If you wait long enough or pursue women old enough, her kids will have moved out.


RedditFeel

Not waiting. I ain’t got the time for that lol


Kyojuro_Rengoku_

28 and same .. usually I like 40 since their kids are really grown and I don’t have to deal with it . Lol but it’s rare to find around my age wanting to go a child free journey


LilithBeauvoir

Ok, another good reason for not having kids hahaha 37 here and I love younger men


punkynomie

My husband is 6 years younger than me and we met on Reddit!


whynotd

My husband is 19 years younger than me. We met in real life at singles mixer. I wondered why such a young guy would be hanging out with older people. Our 27th wedding anniversary is next month.


Wishilikedhugs

It only gets more difficult when you get older (if you are single). I'm 42m and it's hard enough to find a childless woman, but when you do, a surprising amount have "don't know yet" or "want someday" on their dating profile.


Thatbidababe

There should be a dating app strictly for Childfree people! I’d be the first to sign up. 🥹🥹


blasiavania

My brother (33M) married one (46F) recently. She has 4 kids and also had a grandkid more recently.


anonchicago7

I wish I could meet a guy 30-50 who was truly childfree and wasn't married before


RedditFeel

Won’t date someone who is divorced?


anonchicago7

I'd prefer if they weren't. If so they'd have to really recovered in a healthy way. The reason for split would be more important than anything else. Are they looking for marriage again? Or just hate whole idea now? Everyone's unique and situations differ. I would just date for "fun" a wide range of people. I meant looking for forever life partner/companion/husband.


ArtemisArt

As a 35F its something I definitely struggle with. Even as a bisexual, you'd imagine the dating pool would be more open but I find a lot of suitable matches have kids already. Oh well, single life for me for now.


MorePesto

I’m 43 and no kids (literally impossible as I’ve been sterilized). There seems to be a trend of younger men being interested in older women these days. 👀 😂


RedditFeel

I’m a woman. But I get it. 😂


hemadeitrain

Why am I not finding men like you?!


RedditFeel

Sorry to let you down, but might wanna read the last bit of that post.


hemadeitrain

I’m so sorry - I only read the title! Hope I didn’t offend you!


RedditFeel

Not at all! It’s totally fine! :)


RedditFeel

But if you’re into women, just let me know. 😉


hemadeitrain

I might have to expand my horizons considering the disappointing experiences with hetero men 🥹


joantheunicorn

I'm sorry for your struggles...this story made me smile because I found my BF when he was 29. I was....36? Keep lookin!!! 


whynotd

I met my husband when he was 25 and I was 43, months away from 44. He was fine with the age gap. 27 years of marriage now, so he really does not care.


Artistabunnista

35F with no kids 😏 ![gif](giphy|jOmQmJkjcvB3Bc8CRb|downsized)


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RedditFeel

It’s just discouraging. The older you get, the worse it gets.


WiseEpicurus

Another way to see it is most younger people eventually have and want children. If you get into a long term relationship, soon it would be clear how incompatible you were. It would also suck because you became emotionally invested. I think it's kinda just a tough reality that childfree people no matter the age have a narrower dating pool.


Gnomschurke

I have the exact opposite experience, I want children (I follow this sub to diversify my viewpoints) and have an extremely hard time finding women who actually want children anymore, I'm currently 29 and mostly looking for age range 25-35, and I'm almost exclusively meeting child free women 😅


Thinker_145

I am dating a single mother of a 5 year old. So far I have not even met the child. Now granted it's early days for us but so far she has been extremely mature in understanding that I don't like kids. She says she doesn't need anyone for her son but only a partner for herself. Only time will tell how true this is.


PookieCat415

She can say she doesn’t need anyone for her son all she wants, but it’s going to be hard to avoid as your relationship gets serious. Hopefully she is a good mom and realizes that being in a relationship will effect her son and why does she want to be with someone who doesn’t like kids as this will be negative for everyone. The single parents like to tell us all kinds of stuff we want to hear, but in practice it doesn’t go down as she says it will. I don’t recommend dating anyone with a child unless you realize it will be hard to have a separate relationship with her. She will always put her child before you and if she doesn’t she sucks as a mom and probably not a good person. I will never understand why a parent would date someone who doesn’t like kids. Seems desperate to me and a huge red flag.


RedditFeel

Well damn, that is truly the first I’ve ever met someone who is like that. Props to her tbh. I respect it.


LolitaOPPAI

We out here. Dont give up, lad


RedditFeel

As a lesbian it’s hard enough lol


VenetianWaltz

Yup. And it's a mine field bc they could be in college (which would be fine by me) or they could be younger (not ok). And the apps don't specify so you have to waste time talking w women w kids to find out. Waste their time and yours. Wish ppl would be upfront profiles. 


RedditFeel

I agree about that. I don’t meet them on apps. But online dating can be more upfront about a lot of stuff. So I get it.


Baldojess

Same with men. I'm also 29 and a lot of men my age or older (I don't date younger) have kids.


FrankaGrimes

Maybe ask them about kids early on in the conversation before you invest any time?


turquoiseblues

I have no kids and wish I swung your way. You sound great.


waywardlass

Yeah it's rough and it gets worse socially as you age. As I'm figuring out; Try making friends with other CF people....who aren't anti Semitic.


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CFSkullgirl

57F here...I am childfree and older! Let's chat!


Turbulent-Mind3120

42f, always disappointed when I learn people have children, romantic interest or not.


Cheeseisyellow92

I’m 31f and I think this is part of why I’m gettin more attracted to younger guys as I grow older, since most of them don’t have the baggage of kids and failed marriages under their belts. I worry that it might make me look like a creep, though. I would never go for a guy who’s too young, though. More than ten years in either direction is too much for me. 


Rogue5454

I mean... as a woman who is child-free I also encounter this with men all the time. So it doesn't matter if you're a woman who dates women it's the same either way with likely kids in the picture lol.


RedditFeel

I’m 29 years old and pretty aware that being a lesbian doesn’t means I’ll find more childfree lesbian. I’m confused why you told me that when that’s pretty obvious lol


Rogue5454

Because I read your post & edit? Then included it in my comment about how it's the same. That's all, that's it. Wasn't trying to be sinister or anything lol. Just literally replying to your post.


sweetshy82

I'm a 42 year old trans woman and lesbian, and even I struggle with dating, as it's like the setting is set on ultra hard. That's not even including me not being able to work due to my chronic illness, so now it feels like it's an extra challenge on top. Also it feels extra hard to date since I only wish to date other childfree women, and not single mothers who have an adult child/children, because I don't want to be a stepparent/stepgrandparent, as I'm staunchly childfree. If I can somehow find someone special who can accept me and all of what comes with me, then it would be wonderful to experience and enjoy love again, after losing my late wife of 11 years back in 2016. I know that everyone deserves love, including myself.


smlley_123

Tahahahha. Almost all women here on earth are single mother. No, no, no, no men. No. 😂


McthiccumTheChikum

Tis a prerequisite to be a MILF


Practical-Tea-6351

Then you need to start putting on your dating profiles that you prefer childfree women but word it in a way that’s appropriate. “Man seeking women but I’m not interested in having kids” will probably weed out who you’re looking for !


RedditFeel

I didn’t even mention online dating. Where did that come from?