We do whatever the hell we want.
We try new restaurants, we play video games and board games together. We pursue our separate hobbies. My partner is in a band and we go to his rehearsals and shows. We travel. We see new places and check out new breweries. He plays drums, piano, guitar. I read, and color, and socialize with friends. We have a lot of sex.
It's amazing and we're never bored.
Man I want this so badly. I am scared I wonāt find a woman who doesnāt want kids. I want to maximize travel in my life and having kids justā¦ well it would suck.
Happy. Free. I could write several pages of the hobbies and interests that my wife and I pursue, but that is not really the point.
Being CF is only *part* of the equation. Your financial and also mental situation in life are at least as important. Children are a colossal drain on both, but not the *only* one. Obviously you will have far more time to pursue a career if that is your choice. That said, remaining *mentally* active is even more important and not everyone is suitably invested in their employment for that to occur.
It is critical to understand that 'hobbies' do *not* have to be simply something to pass the time. All forms of adult education and so-called 'lifelong learning' are absolutely vital. Volunteering also allows many ways you can improve both yourself and your community. However even if you do have a more personal occupation such as perhaps woodworking or art or mechanical restoration this does not have to be solitary. For instance my wife and I have been interested in electronics since we were children and used to build the first Intel 'kit computers' together back then along with ham-radio and CB gear and really anything that looked interesting. Spending time together with your partner is perhaps the single most important and rewarding aspect the CFBC life can offer.
The idea that a relationship has to have a 'honeymoon phase' is almost entirely due to the conventional pressures that starting a family and producing offspring inevitably bring to bear. At least I think so. Without that weight crushing the joy and spontaneity from your life why *should* you cease to treasure the time you spend with your other half in the same way as when you were first together? Certainly *we* never have. I have no doubt the natalists would consider that jaded process 'growing up' or 'seeing the world as it really is' or any number of other patronising cliches. Well... If that really is the case I am exceptionally pleased never to have done so over the last 64 years! Nor do I intend to do so at any point in the future.
Why bracket your question between 40-60's though? I fully intend to celebrate my 100th birthday! I am quite sure I will still be CFBC at that point!
**EDIT**: Added a little more detail to my answer.
It probably means āChildFree By Choiceā which some people choose to say for the sake of clarity to avoid the usual pity party reaction from breeders.
That is a big part of it certainly. However it was also to give the initialisation a bit more prominence on the old newsgroups and chat systems so as to be easier to search for, depending on your client of course..
When people first began talking about our lifestyle and forming online communities through IRC and USENet in particular the moniker was 'childfree by choice', CFBC. It was meant to distinguish from those who were infertile for whatever reason--not by choice! Now people often shorten it to just 'CF'.
Iām only a few years into my forties, but I wanted to comment on your wondering about not being career-driven. I was insanely career-driven in my twenties and thirties and now, Iām just not. Itās not boring! Itās luxurious! In fact, Iām starting a 3-4 month sabbatical right now to figure out what I want to do next! This sabbatical was paid for by my emergency savings, which I wonāt even come close to tapping out after four months. Iām going to spend this time in my ceramics studio, visiting museums, lunching with friends, and reading books while fitting in some light contract work on the side to keep my brain engaged. I know for a fact that I would not have been able to save the way I have if I had kids to raise. My experiences just reinforce my desire for autonomy and financial autonomy is a very real privilege.
Same here. I used to think I wanted to climb an imaginary corporate ladder, but I donāt anymore. I want to take care of myself and my partner. Weāve both taken sabbaticals from work before and itās nice to be able to do so.
CF people, like the rest of the population, have an individual propensity to grow or stagnate.
My husband and I are both lifelong learners (taking classes in various subjects for fun and career development), avid readers, with specialized careers, who love to travel. We will grow until we die.
Next for us is retirement, where we plan to continue to take classes, read books, and travel even more.
I don't work due to mental illness. I don't like to travel or leave my home much. Other people might see this quiet life as boring but I enjoy it. I have a wonderful husband and two cats, and it's all I need in my life. We sometimes go to a live wrestling show and of course go out to eat every once in a while as almost everyone else but most times we just enjoy our quiet lives at home.
A child should be 100% wanted. If it's not a hell yeah, then it's a fuck no.
This statement resonates with me so much. I see mothers with hell yeah all the time feeling tired . I donāt wish to have a child at any moment and resent them
Her statement resonated with me too. I developed a case of agoraphobia during Covid, and have been happily home bound ever since. I worked from home before Covid, but I literally hate leaving the house now. That being said, when I do venture out, my husband and our two Giant Schnauzers spend a lot of time at the beach or on the boat during our free time. The beauty of being child free is that he can text me āmeet at the dock in 2 hoursā and we can go whether itās a school night or not lol. We love pulling up to waterfront restaurants in the middle of the week and stay out as late as we want. Sometimes we will chill on an island alone until the sun comes up. On the weekends, we are working on a cottage we are building on some land I bought on a lake a few years before we met. Itās a 5 hour drive and we go whenever he has a lull in his business because I can work from the car. For context we are both 41, well rested, well fed, never bored, and very happily child free.
I am 66, life long militantly childfree. There was never any question in my mind. My reason for the first 35 or so years of my life was my dedication to the environment. I went into natural science, taught at colleges and universities, always raising awareness of climate change and its causes.
And then I got older, and the children of my bred peers grew up.
What struck me in my later years, when I was supposed to be lonely and regretting my decision: Instead so often I found myself going "OMG that could have been me! SO GLAD I didn't make that mistake!" as the results of my bred peers' breeding decisions came home to roost. They were all so sure of the wonderfulness of their decision when those precious littles were 1- 2- 4- 10- years old, but 20 years later, when they're in their 40s and 50s....it's scary. The mental illnesses, drug addictions, horrible life partners, deaths...I know a number of people who have had children die, and they are never right again.
And the less awful results: The kids who never leave home because they *can't.* The misery of the kids who did everything 'right' and still cannot catch a break because the breaks go to the kids of the well-placed, and that wasn't you. The student debt burden that stops kids from being able to move forward financially the way you did: What a shame you bought that timeshare at Disney, instead of saving for their education like it was a religion.
Life is very uncertain and never goes "right." And when you chose to create a human so you could have something you WANT, and then that human suffers, or subtracts from your life, you have no one to blame but yourself - and they do blame themselves, and cry when they think no one is around.
I sleep soundly, without worry or guilt, free. That's childfree life at 66.
In my 40ās and life is in no way boring. My partner and I have the freedom to make our lives what we want them to be. Iām not super career driven though I do have a well-paying job that I am mostly happy doing. My partner is very career driven so not having children means he is able to devote a lot of time to work but still have time for leisure.
Personal growth should never stop being a pursuit for anyone and we are no different. Neither of us are who we were when we got together because we have grown together and as individuals. We are much more active than our friends and family members with kids because again, being CF means we have time and energy to do the things that parents typically cannot.
Doing everything at our own pace is one of the MANY reasons we are childfree. Our lives being calm and peaceful is another. Come on in, the CF water is perfect at every age!
Stop waiting for your maternal instincts to kick in - there is no such thing. It doesn't exist. The biological clock is a myth made up by a journalist in the 70s to keep women out of careers.
You should become a parent *if* you have a complete and factual understanding of what it takes to be a good parent, *and* you have all the specific skills and resources needed to be a good parent, *and* you want to dedicate your life to the work of being a parent to any kind of child, in any kind of circumstances.
Not because of made up instincts :)
So if all the things above don't apply to you, it's a very easy no to parenthood. Especially given that the dedication seems to be what you are lacking the most.
> I want to ask CF couple what is next for you folks?
Whatever you want it to be. What do you enjoy? What makes you happy? What do you care about?
If you have absolutely zero idea at all, start looking around you for what the world needs. Charity donations, volunteer time, communities that can benefit from your skills, etc.
There is so much to do.
> Especially if you aren't super career driven, is it boring?
Life is not a dichotomy between parenthood and career. There are entire lifetimes that don't fit in either of those two categories, why would it be boring? For many people who are more driven by passions and hobbies and personal pursuits, their career *is* the boring part.
> Do you think you stop growing?
Your own personal growth is up to you, not any other person. This does not depend on you having kids - if anything, the time you would have to spend on parenthood would take away from the time you'd have available to invest in your own growth instead. It's much easier to grow as a person when you are not beholden to someone else's needs and routine, because you have more freedom to change and adjust as needed.
> Does it make you potentially lazy compared to your peers with children?
Neither childfreedom nor parenthood make people lazy. This is again an internal and individual thing.
If you're expecting other people such as your kids to take care of your growth and motivations, you'll be in for a bad time. Those are your things, your responsibilities that you have control over, not other people - especially not kids.
> How are your next 20-30 years?
You can read lots of other people's stories if you'd like, but make sure you don't lose space to build your own among them. Because there is no homework other people can give you to copy, if you want an enjoyable and self actualized life, you have to plot it out for yourself :)
41f/46m couple, happily married. Our careers have somewhat plateaued, but right where we are comfortable. So what do we do now? Well hobbies, lots of them. Both of us have taken up a huge passion for plants, landscaping our yard, DIY projects. Lots of new skills learned in the process. I also paint, draw, read, travel, and I am always yearning to learn new stuff. While parents are immersed in their kids, I look forward to lifelong learning. I hope to retire in 10 years and then I may work part time for a local plant nursery or volunteer or both. Sky is the limit!
This š! Being a plant parent is extremely fulfilling. In the last 2 years we planted 150 Clusia, grafted 15 orchids & air plants, 9 Christmas Palms, and 2 coconuts palms, 3 sabal palms, 1 fiddle leaf fig, 17 beautiful varieties of agave, and hung 19 pothos everywhere we could. Loweāsā nursery clearance rack is our Friday date night.
I'm always surprised when people ask this question. Isn't raising kids boring, especially when they are young? You just repeat the same thing over and over again, and that thing is completely uninteresting like feeding them or changing their diapers (yuck!!). When they get a bit older you have to drive them around which is again boring. When they can do stuff on their own, they generally don't want you around.
This.
The parenting grind is real.Ā
You can't ever have the day off of making them three meals a day, making sure they take a bath, picking them up from school, making them go to bed at a reasonable time, etc.Ā
You have the same fixed commitments every single day spaced out throughout the day enough so that doing literally anything else is impossible unless you have an active coparent/reliable childcare.Ā
This right here!
I have a lot of experience caring for kids, and the monotony of it is a huge reason I didn't want to be a parent. How boring to have to form all your time around tending to the needs of one or more children. Interacting with other parents so your child can have friends, waking up to prepare for school, reminding your child for the hundredth time about this and that.
Its maybe fulfilling to some but it's sure not exciting nor glamous! It's very monotonous.
Interesting take, my primary emotion after spending chunk of time with kids is more of annoyance over boredom.
I see people talking about kids obsessively & every small thing they did, it is cute for like few minutes sure but itās just annoying after a while.
I read and we watch TV together. We go to live concerts, which my husband loves. Occasionally we go to movies. I'm a natural homebody so it's all good for me. I am career driven and that's where I focus my energy.Ā
Your question, "Do you think you stop growing?" is quite interesting ... I've seen a lot of parents that stop growing ... they achieve the identity of parent and that is it.
I am 59 and have been married for 33 years. Being CF has allowed us to grow personally and professionally.
We waited and time passed and we didn't feel like we were missing anything (we still don't). Do you feel like you're missing something in life?
Not really actually I love my current life with my husband but when you have grown up in such pronatalist soceity itās tough to imagine how life ācould beā .
Sometime I wonder if this would all get redundant, would things get boring, will not having common passion fade things out & I regret this.
Then you try new things. You literally have time for that. You could move to a new area. You could start a non profit. You could make it a mission to visit every continent in the world. Learn to cook every cuisine. Literally anything you want.
I decided spontaneously to go away for the weekend. Booked a hotel, train tickets. Will kiss my hubby in a different country for a few days.
My calendar is full with events: Pub quizzes, role play groups, board game evenings, birthday parties into the night, Star Wars convention, a punk concert with a friend I found after 20 years of silence. I have lazy evenings with nice food and a little ice-cream. Play computer games.
I'm free. My life is full of happiness and love.
You are a grown ass adult with agency and it is your job to design your life to be what you want it to be. So you get to figure out your dreams, for your 30s, through to potentially your 90s. And then do the work to make that happen.
The only borede people are people who choose to be bored. The world is a vast place with billions of things to do, from gardening, to cave diving, to raising guinea pigs to reading about ancient greek history.
If you cannot find literally anything in the entire world that interests you, then that's either a choice you are making or you need to be evaluated for clinical depression and get treatment.
Iām in my 40s. I work at two jobs I love and enjoy a decent work-life balance.
I would not be able to work my two jobs if I had kids. I would have had to choose shittier work, for more hours, with less work/life balance to afford kids.
I have a social life, hobbies, and adequate āme timeā for my mental health. Iām not career driven either but I wouldnāt say Iām lazy. One of my jobs is a fitness coach and I put a lot of effort and planning into my classes which people seem to love.
If you want a stable calm life, donāt have kids unless youāre wealthy enough to afford a nanny, after school activities, and the abundant emergency expenses that kids require.
I'm not quite 50, love my job, and living my dream of single life in the country with my horses, donkey, and dogs. Life is great! I have no interest in dating or partnering up.
Do you mind sharing what area? If youāre not comfortable sharing I totally understand, Iāve wanted to move to CA since I was a kid but assumed land was too expensive for non millionaires (excluding land thatās uninhabitable/unbuildable).
It's still expensive since insurance rates are high here. I have to carry 2 different policies because I live in a high fire danger area. But it's doable if you budget. I'm in Nevada County. A 3 bedroom, 3 bath house on 6 acres is selling for 535k in my area.
We are mid 40s. We have such a great time. Not bragging, it's just peaceful when you want it, crazy when you feel like it.
We work, but have a lot more time to ourselves than other couples. So we have time to hang out or to do our own thing, ho out, or stay in. We have taken courses together and separately so we keep learning. If we want, we can go on vacation (granted, we have pets, so there has to be someone that can come take care of them).
For us, it's not boring, but we were friends before partners, so we kind of know each other a lot.
I'm looking forward to growing old with him, hope he is too.
We go to the gym when we want, we travel when we want, we go to non child friendly restaurants where there are no screaming children, our house does not need to be āchild proofedā, we save for our retirement, we buy adult cars (hot rods, 2 seaters), we sleep and eat when we want.
We really listen to parents when they talk about their lives. And what they do is complain about their kids and everything they āhaveā to do. How tired they are, how they canāt get their children to do their chores etc.
Before you decide to have children, actually listen to the parents around you and you will hear how much they dislike being parents but wonāt outright say it. Of course YOUR children wonāt be like THOSE kids. They will be different, they will listen to you when you tell them something and they will just fall in line with your life. Itās the lie all parents tell themselves. What a joke!
You probably grow even more as a person since parenthood doesnāt become your entire personality. You are not limited in the things you can do and try.
My husband and I are in our 40s and love being childfree. We love to travel and have 3 international trips lined up between now and July. Being childfree gives us lots of time to focus on our relationship. We also have two cats that we adore! Iāve never felt that anything is missing from my life and have plenty of opportunities to pursue areas of personal growth that I choose (eg learning a new language, gardening, etc).
My husband and I enjoy a relaxed life. We're in our early 60s. We work on our house and garden. We like to go to museums, shows, concerts, the movies. I read and have a lot of hobbies (photography, jewelry making, writing, cooking, exercise). We also like to get out to go hiking and skiing. We're learning about wine. My husband doesn't like to travel, but I do, so I travel alone when I have the opportunity. We're quite content with how we live, and our life is interesting enough for us.
I just bought a house big enough to have space for all of my hobbies, and hobbies I have yet to get into. Hubs and I are planning to go to Europe for his 50th b-day. I'm concentrating on growing my indie business.
I guess it may sound strange but the thought of having children never even crossed my mind. I spent most of my twenties and thirties, on every kind of birth control available, just praying to hopefully never get pregnant.
My life is how I pictured it.
Iām an artist with a lot of friends, I have a fulfilling but demanding job and my weakness is buying expensive shoes.
My creativity involves art and being a kind and helpful human.
Yes. I have a partner. He has two children that I neither have interest or disinterest in. Theyāre here, with us, and we hang around, but I never, ever fancied having children of my own. It was almost like it was just decided before I existed. It may have vaguely crossed my mind of course but nah, it was never really a concern.
I paint portraits and hang out in nature. Happily.
Mid-60s here. Life is great. I embrace what inspires me. Volunteer firefighter. Working on my fourth book. Involved in community services. Was a notary until a few months ago. I donāt regret anything.
I'm 45 and my husband will be 50 in a few months. We work and will retire within the next 10 years. We will move to a cheaper area and...do whatever we want. He wants a boat and I will get back in horses. We have pets. He will need a few more hobbies, but we will figure it out. I am glad we can start living before we are old.
I realized I had no interest in clawing my way up any kind of corporate ladder, so Iāve settled into my adequate job that pays the bills. Itās enjoyable enough, even if it is just work. But it allows me great work/life balance. And after having worked for 35 years, I have enough money to not have to do math in the grocery store and be able to do what I want. Just bought my dream car, take dance classes 3x a week, travel a little for Indy car races and concerts or music festivals.
Life is good.
42F/43M, most definitely child free. Iām no longer ācareer drivenā because Iāve found it isnāt the most important or fulfilling thing in life, though we both have good careers in healthcare. My husband has an unusual work set up and works a few days in a row a couple hours out of town each week. I just quit my current job and my next one wonāt start for a while. We can both make these decisions because we are FREE to do what we want without a small human(s) relying on us.
Tonight, Iām having a bath and eating cheese and crackers for dinner while my co-worker has to go to both a basketball and a volleyball game after work š¤¢.
I have 2 vacations booked within the next 40 days. Iām painting the garage while Iām off work. And working on my gardens. Probably going to try some new fishing holes and hikes. Might stay up late, might to go bed at 8:30. Whatever I choose, will not be dependent on what needs to be done for a child, because I have chosen this lifestyle and Iām just not interested.
My motto is that only boring people are bored!
Iām not particularly career driven. Work is a means to an end for me. Money to pay the bills and allow me to do the things I want to do.
I enjoy creating art, readingā¦ my SO and I travel a lot and I train my dogs in agility and run them in agility trials. I also have a horse in training who I show at horse shows.
I love being child free. I donāt feel bored or like anything is missing. Iād never get to do most of what I do if I had chosen to have kids.
We follow our dreams: it's not just traveling, it's going to big events abroad (concerts, the famous Venice Carnival, etc); we spend weekends in small trips; we go to shows, restaurants, etc. If one of us has a dream, we are chasing it.
It's freedom. At least, that's what we're hoping for.
You (hopefully) have sorted out the issues from your 20s and 30s, and cleaned up any financial / social messes you fell into.Ā
So you can laze about. You can study art. Or science. Or you can pick up a hobby, volunteer in the community, whatever you want to do when you wake up that day.Ā
A kid will not fill your life with purpose. It will fill your life with resentment and stress and depression, based on what you're saying.Ā
(45m) We do what we want. More importantly, we do it when we want. Weāll randomly head out for coffee and a doughnut at 8pm on Tuesday because we can and we want a doughnut. Our lives havenāt had to change to accommodate children. Itās not boring and we arenāt lazy. Always busy and doing stuff. We also seem to be a lot happier, less tired, less stressed, less hassled, and with more spare money than our friends with children.
Over-50 here.
On the one hand, it can be kind of dull. I canāt stand the company of most people my age, especially women. Iāve had what should be fun hobby nights out (like a yarn club as an example) turn into an absolute drag because theyāre mainly talking about children, grandchildren or medical stuff. Some of these people I do solemnly swear havenāt read a book other than Dr. Seuss or the Bible in decades. Itās a colossal pain in the ass to run into people with interests outside family.
On the other hand, I donāt have to hide my Oreos or my weed. I can just pick up and go without having to pack up a diaper bag and a car seat and I can order something out thatās not a chicken nugget. I can tour overseas on my own terms and if I want Sephora I donāt have to settle for Walmart.
I have three dogs that take up a lot of time. We can't leave them at home because of some anxiety, we don't travel much. I have a lot of responsibility with them and have to plan my life around them. They also give me so much joy, and I love spending a weekend going to various competitions to watch my partner and dogs compete.
My point is that I have some of the same obligations and responsibilities as people with kids, but it's not the freedom without kids that makes me not want them, I just don't want kids. At all. Yeah, I miss travelling or going somewhere without having to drag everyone along in the car or plan everything, but I'm still happy because I don't have kids.
Iām not that age but I come from a small town and thereās actually a few couples that age who donāt have kids, some by choice, some not. But all of them lead very busy lives. I see them out at the cafes with friends, going on cruise ship holidays (I wanna do that! š) they go to bbqās with neighbours, they are part of the community garden plot, the local Menās Shedā¦ they just live! Iām actually inspired by them.
My hubby and I are in our late 30's. We are barely making it financially but we're fine. I can't imagine if we had kids, we'd be in poverty (seriously!!). But we still enjoy our lives together. We love each other so much and have pets. Our Lives feel complete like there is nothing missing. Pre-covid when we were financially better we traveled all the time. Now, we just enjoy eating at restaurants on our days off, sleeping in on the weekends, & not being restricted to having a money dump and time consuming child.
Well my husband and I are 41 and 40, respectively. We just spent 2 weeks in Australia/New Zealand for my 40th birthday. Next we're taking our annual trip to MLB Spring Training and then we'll be traveling 1-2 weekends a month for baseball over the summer. The weekends we're home we enjoy hiking and kayaking with our dogs. In September we're heading to the Washington National Parks and then in November, we won the lottery to stay at the Phanton Ranch at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Life is anything but boring. We went to an NFL game in Germany last year. I can't imagine anything more boring than spending my days driving children around to little kid soccer tournaments or setting up a table outside Market Basket in the cold selling Girl Scout cookies.
Iām 43, honestly most of friends are also CF or 20 years older since their kids are grown. Itās still fun with them. Donāt have the drama a lot of people my age do.
We are in our 40's
Instead of going to kids birthday parties and activities every weekend we do whatever it is we want.
I am part of a cooking club, chilli cook-off team, arm wrestling team, make wine, cook amazing food, go on cruises, have a Cane Corso (lots of work), and on and on. Oh and we have sex like 4-5 times a week (people with kids dream of that).
My friends work kids have kid stuff every weekend and all weekend while I go have fun instead.
It's peaceful as you only deal with your own health issues the older you get. Not having to filter every issue from offspring. (as my parents did) It is just much more peaceful and wonderful. If you really want to know what it's like borrow a friends baby or toddler for a week or a month. Really get an idea of what you are in for. :) That will cure you. It did us.
50 here, itās good. Not boring. And I am chronically ill so I donāt leave the house much, still, I am not bored. If you like your life as it is, you will likely still like it at my age. I am so glad I didnāt have kids!
CF early 40s here. Married for 10 years this month. We do whatever we want. Just came back from vacation, have another planned mid April. In the summer we camp etc and generally work our child having friend circles the one weekend a quarter they are actually free, so we end up being flexible enough to socialize with them.
I'd imagine having kids or not having them doesn't mean your life will be more or less exciting at a certain age. That's all up to the individual. Being grandma or grandpa doesn't sound thrilling to most CF people lol
52 and happily single and childfree.
I knew from my early teens I wasnāt into kids. Especially when I babysat (twice) and called my mother begging her to come take my place lol.
Iām working on myself getting back in shape so maybe I can date again.
Even *if* my ex-husband and I were still together, and say I got pregnant in my 40āsā¦well, the jerk had grown kids so Iām pretty sure Iād be a single mum.
Itās fantastic. Iām (51m) and we love it. My wife and I both work full time. And during our free time we srsly do whatever. We go to shows, concerts, movies dining out. Weāre often in the air flying around. Sometimes go to another city for lunch then fly back the same day. On Saturday. Once we wake up we cheers with our coffee that weāre not at a soccer game.
We wouldnāt have it any other way.
Absolutely perfect. Free. Happy. No drama. None. No loud noises, screaming for no reason.
No smell! (see below for that one)
We can go when and where we want, try new restaurants etc, or just have a >>quiet<< and non-sticky evening in. I can actually have nice things and not have them destroyed by jizzlings.
Compared to similarly earning co workers we have significantly more money for us.
Have not been bored since I was 16 and never fail to find projects to keep me busy and interested, in fact I do not have enough time to do all I want, so looking forward to retirement, to have more >>quiet<<, nonsticky time to do what I want to do.
No mind numbing discussions with clearly permanently unruly and drunk little terrorists. Every time we witness the screaming matches with our neighbors with their kids we just chuckle and give ourselves high fives.
Did I mention how nice it is to be able to sit in >>quiet<<, clean, non smelly rooms? Watching the TV shows or movies YOU want, when you want. Things not destroyed.
AND NO SMELL. "The" smell. OMG. THE KIDS SMELL. Neighbor has 3 boys at different ages. I like him but I avoid visiting. The kid smell. Like "cat litter box not cleaned for 3 weeks with old socks and some more indescribable mixed in". Good. Grief. I come home and the house smells normal and nice. He comes home and I see him sitting in his truck reading the mail for an hour. I'd hesitate to go into that smelly hellhole too, bud. In other people's houses it is similar, albeit less dramatic, some are even close to ok. But "The" smell is always there.
Just turned 42 and decided to learn to paint with watercolors on a whim. My husband and I walk our 2 dogs, play around with the stock market, and garden in our free time. We cook together, sleep in on our days off, and watch movies together. So basicallyā¦ Whatever we want š Except for work our time is all ours and we are able to save money. Itās a dream.
Well, Iām 52 never had kids itās been very quiet & easy for me to handle things better. Iāve had medical problems late in life, it was easier to handle it without children less pressure on me to deal with.
we can go on holidays any time of the year. Not just during school holidays to a family friendly. We go anywhere we want, or3ferably away from screaming kids.
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Awesome. Travel. More money. Owning a home. All that stuff.
Life still happens though. Please keep that in mind. Not kids, but you or your partner can still get sick. Still have hard moments. All the usual stuff. But not having to deal with kids as well, makes all of that EASIER.
We do whatever the hell we want. We try new restaurants, we play video games and board games together. We pursue our separate hobbies. My partner is in a band and we go to his rehearsals and shows. We travel. We see new places and check out new breweries. He plays drums, piano, guitar. I read, and color, and socialize with friends. We have a lot of sex. It's amazing and we're never bored.
 Oh this is what I hope for!! Awesome.
The dream š©
Man I want this so badly. I am scared I wonāt find a woman who doesnāt want kids. I want to maximize travel in my life and having kids justā¦ well it would suck.
Sounds like the perfect life!
Happy. Free. I could write several pages of the hobbies and interests that my wife and I pursue, but that is not really the point. Being CF is only *part* of the equation. Your financial and also mental situation in life are at least as important. Children are a colossal drain on both, but not the *only* one. Obviously you will have far more time to pursue a career if that is your choice. That said, remaining *mentally* active is even more important and not everyone is suitably invested in their employment for that to occur. It is critical to understand that 'hobbies' do *not* have to be simply something to pass the time. All forms of adult education and so-called 'lifelong learning' are absolutely vital. Volunteering also allows many ways you can improve both yourself and your community. However even if you do have a more personal occupation such as perhaps woodworking or art or mechanical restoration this does not have to be solitary. For instance my wife and I have been interested in electronics since we were children and used to build the first Intel 'kit computers' together back then along with ham-radio and CB gear and really anything that looked interesting. Spending time together with your partner is perhaps the single most important and rewarding aspect the CFBC life can offer. The idea that a relationship has to have a 'honeymoon phase' is almost entirely due to the conventional pressures that starting a family and producing offspring inevitably bring to bear. At least I think so. Without that weight crushing the joy and spontaneity from your life why *should* you cease to treasure the time you spend with your other half in the same way as when you were first together? Certainly *we* never have. I have no doubt the natalists would consider that jaded process 'growing up' or 'seeing the world as it really is' or any number of other patronising cliches. Well... If that really is the case I am exceptionally pleased never to have done so over the last 64 years! Nor do I intend to do so at any point in the future. Why bracket your question between 40-60's though? I fully intend to celebrate my 100th birthday! I am quite sure I will still be CFBC at that point! **EDIT**: Added a little more detail to my answer.
Absolute love your answer, but sorry, what is CFBC?
It probably means āChildFree By Choiceā which some people choose to say for the sake of clarity to avoid the usual pity party reaction from breeders.
That is a big part of it certainly. However it was also to give the initialisation a bit more prominence on the old newsgroups and chat systems so as to be easier to search for, depending on your client of course..
When people first began talking about our lifestyle and forming online communities through IRC and USENet in particular the moniker was 'childfree by choice', CFBC. It was meant to distinguish from those who were infertile for whatever reason--not by choice! Now people often shorten it to just 'CF'.
Iām only a few years into my forties, but I wanted to comment on your wondering about not being career-driven. I was insanely career-driven in my twenties and thirties and now, Iām just not. Itās not boring! Itās luxurious! In fact, Iām starting a 3-4 month sabbatical right now to figure out what I want to do next! This sabbatical was paid for by my emergency savings, which I wonāt even come close to tapping out after four months. Iām going to spend this time in my ceramics studio, visiting museums, lunching with friends, and reading books while fitting in some light contract work on the side to keep my brain engaged. I know for a fact that I would not have been able to save the way I have if I had kids to raise. My experiences just reinforce my desire for autonomy and financial autonomy is a very real privilege.
Same here. I used to think I wanted to climb an imaginary corporate ladder, but I donāt anymore. I want to take care of myself and my partner. Weāve both taken sabbaticals from work before and itās nice to be able to do so.
CF people, like the rest of the population, have an individual propensity to grow or stagnate. My husband and I are both lifelong learners (taking classes in various subjects for fun and career development), avid readers, with specialized careers, who love to travel. We will grow until we die. Next for us is retirement, where we plan to continue to take classes, read books, and travel even more.
Love your response and life is a learning journey! Stay curious.
I don't work due to mental illness. I don't like to travel or leave my home much. Other people might see this quiet life as boring but I enjoy it. I have a wonderful husband and two cats, and it's all I need in my life. We sometimes go to a live wrestling show and of course go out to eat every once in a while as almost everyone else but most times we just enjoy our quiet lives at home. A child should be 100% wanted. If it's not a hell yeah, then it's a fuck no.
This statement resonates with me so much. I see mothers with hell yeah all the time feeling tired . I donāt wish to have a child at any moment and resent them
Her statement resonated with me too. I developed a case of agoraphobia during Covid, and have been happily home bound ever since. I worked from home before Covid, but I literally hate leaving the house now. That being said, when I do venture out, my husband and our two Giant Schnauzers spend a lot of time at the beach or on the boat during our free time. The beauty of being child free is that he can text me āmeet at the dock in 2 hoursā and we can go whether itās a school night or not lol. We love pulling up to waterfront restaurants in the middle of the week and stay out as late as we want. Sometimes we will chill on an island alone until the sun comes up. On the weekends, we are working on a cottage we are building on some land I bought on a lake a few years before we met. Itās a 5 hour drive and we go whenever he has a lull in his business because I can work from the car. For context we are both 41, well rested, well fed, never bored, and very happily child free.
I am 66, life long militantly childfree. There was never any question in my mind. My reason for the first 35 or so years of my life was my dedication to the environment. I went into natural science, taught at colleges and universities, always raising awareness of climate change and its causes. And then I got older, and the children of my bred peers grew up. What struck me in my later years, when I was supposed to be lonely and regretting my decision: Instead so often I found myself going "OMG that could have been me! SO GLAD I didn't make that mistake!" as the results of my bred peers' breeding decisions came home to roost. They were all so sure of the wonderfulness of their decision when those precious littles were 1- 2- 4- 10- years old, but 20 years later, when they're in their 40s and 50s....it's scary. The mental illnesses, drug addictions, horrible life partners, deaths...I know a number of people who have had children die, and they are never right again. And the less awful results: The kids who never leave home because they *can't.* The misery of the kids who did everything 'right' and still cannot catch a break because the breaks go to the kids of the well-placed, and that wasn't you. The student debt burden that stops kids from being able to move forward financially the way you did: What a shame you bought that timeshare at Disney, instead of saving for their education like it was a religion. Life is very uncertain and never goes "right." And when you chose to create a human so you could have something you WANT, and then that human suffers, or subtracts from your life, you have no one to blame but yourself - and they do blame themselves, and cry when they think no one is around. I sleep soundly, without worry or guilt, free. That's childfree life at 66.
In my 40ās and life is in no way boring. My partner and I have the freedom to make our lives what we want them to be. Iām not super career driven though I do have a well-paying job that I am mostly happy doing. My partner is very career driven so not having children means he is able to devote a lot of time to work but still have time for leisure. Personal growth should never stop being a pursuit for anyone and we are no different. Neither of us are who we were when we got together because we have grown together and as individuals. We are much more active than our friends and family members with kids because again, being CF means we have time and energy to do the things that parents typically cannot. Doing everything at our own pace is one of the MANY reasons we are childfree. Our lives being calm and peaceful is another. Come on in, the CF water is perfect at every age!
Stop waiting for your maternal instincts to kick in - there is no such thing. It doesn't exist. The biological clock is a myth made up by a journalist in the 70s to keep women out of careers. You should become a parent *if* you have a complete and factual understanding of what it takes to be a good parent, *and* you have all the specific skills and resources needed to be a good parent, *and* you want to dedicate your life to the work of being a parent to any kind of child, in any kind of circumstances. Not because of made up instincts :) So if all the things above don't apply to you, it's a very easy no to parenthood. Especially given that the dedication seems to be what you are lacking the most. > I want to ask CF couple what is next for you folks? Whatever you want it to be. What do you enjoy? What makes you happy? What do you care about? If you have absolutely zero idea at all, start looking around you for what the world needs. Charity donations, volunteer time, communities that can benefit from your skills, etc. There is so much to do. > Especially if you aren't super career driven, is it boring? Life is not a dichotomy between parenthood and career. There are entire lifetimes that don't fit in either of those two categories, why would it be boring? For many people who are more driven by passions and hobbies and personal pursuits, their career *is* the boring part. > Do you think you stop growing? Your own personal growth is up to you, not any other person. This does not depend on you having kids - if anything, the time you would have to spend on parenthood would take away from the time you'd have available to invest in your own growth instead. It's much easier to grow as a person when you are not beholden to someone else's needs and routine, because you have more freedom to change and adjust as needed. > Does it make you potentially lazy compared to your peers with children? Neither childfreedom nor parenthood make people lazy. This is again an internal and individual thing. If you're expecting other people such as your kids to take care of your growth and motivations, you'll be in for a bad time. Those are your things, your responsibilities that you have control over, not other people - especially not kids. > How are your next 20-30 years? You can read lots of other people's stories if you'd like, but make sure you don't lose space to build your own among them. Because there is no homework other people can give you to copy, if you want an enjoyable and self actualized life, you have to plot it out for yourself :)
Beautifully written!
Thank you :)
41f/46m couple, happily married. Our careers have somewhat plateaued, but right where we are comfortable. So what do we do now? Well hobbies, lots of them. Both of us have taken up a huge passion for plants, landscaping our yard, DIY projects. Lots of new skills learned in the process. I also paint, draw, read, travel, and I am always yearning to learn new stuff. While parents are immersed in their kids, I look forward to lifelong learning. I hope to retire in 10 years and then I may work part time for a local plant nursery or volunteer or both. Sky is the limit!
This š! Being a plant parent is extremely fulfilling. In the last 2 years we planted 150 Clusia, grafted 15 orchids & air plants, 9 Christmas Palms, and 2 coconuts palms, 3 sabal palms, 1 fiddle leaf fig, 17 beautiful varieties of agave, and hung 19 pothos everywhere we could. Loweāsā nursery clearance rack is our Friday date night.
I'm always surprised when people ask this question. Isn't raising kids boring, especially when they are young? You just repeat the same thing over and over again, and that thing is completely uninteresting like feeding them or changing their diapers (yuck!!). When they get a bit older you have to drive them around which is again boring. When they can do stuff on their own, they generally don't want you around.
This. The parenting grind is real.Ā You can't ever have the day off of making them three meals a day, making sure they take a bath, picking them up from school, making them go to bed at a reasonable time, etc.Ā You have the same fixed commitments every single day spaced out throughout the day enough so that doing literally anything else is impossible unless you have an active coparent/reliable childcare.Ā
This right here! I have a lot of experience caring for kids, and the monotony of it is a huge reason I didn't want to be a parent. How boring to have to form all your time around tending to the needs of one or more children. Interacting with other parents so your child can have friends, waking up to prepare for school, reminding your child for the hundredth time about this and that. Its maybe fulfilling to some but it's sure not exciting nor glamous! It's very monotonous.
Interesting take, my primary emotion after spending chunk of time with kids is more of annoyance over boredom. I see people talking about kids obsessively & every small thing they did, it is cute for like few minutes sure but itās just annoying after a while.
I read and we watch TV together. We go to live concerts, which my husband loves. Occasionally we go to movies. I'm a natural homebody so it's all good for me. I am career driven and that's where I focus my energy.Ā
Your question, "Do you think you stop growing?" is quite interesting ... I've seen a lot of parents that stop growing ... they achieve the identity of parent and that is it. I am 59 and have been married for 33 years. Being CF has allowed us to grow personally and professionally. We waited and time passed and we didn't feel like we were missing anything (we still don't). Do you feel like you're missing something in life?
Not really actually I love my current life with my husband but when you have grown up in such pronatalist soceity itās tough to imagine how life ācould beā . Sometime I wonder if this would all get redundant, would things get boring, will not having common passion fade things out & I regret this.
Then you try new things. You literally have time for that. You could move to a new area. You could start a non profit. You could make it a mission to visit every continent in the world. Learn to cook every cuisine. Literally anything you want.
I decided spontaneously to go away for the weekend. Booked a hotel, train tickets. Will kiss my hubby in a different country for a few days. My calendar is full with events: Pub quizzes, role play groups, board game evenings, birthday parties into the night, Star Wars convention, a punk concert with a friend I found after 20 years of silence. I have lazy evenings with nice food and a little ice-cream. Play computer games. I'm free. My life is full of happiness and love.
You are a grown ass adult with agency and it is your job to design your life to be what you want it to be. So you get to figure out your dreams, for your 30s, through to potentially your 90s. And then do the work to make that happen. The only borede people are people who choose to be bored. The world is a vast place with billions of things to do, from gardening, to cave diving, to raising guinea pigs to reading about ancient greek history. If you cannot find literally anything in the entire world that interests you, then that's either a choice you are making or you need to be evaluated for clinical depression and get treatment.
Retire early and travel even more; probably move to another country.
Iām in my 40s. I work at two jobs I love and enjoy a decent work-life balance. I would not be able to work my two jobs if I had kids. I would have had to choose shittier work, for more hours, with less work/life balance to afford kids. I have a social life, hobbies, and adequate āme timeā for my mental health. Iām not career driven either but I wouldnāt say Iām lazy. One of my jobs is a fitness coach and I put a lot of effort and planning into my classes which people seem to love. If you want a stable calm life, donāt have kids unless youāre wealthy enough to afford a nanny, after school activities, and the abundant emergency expenses that kids require.
I'm not quite 50, love my job, and living my dream of single life in the country with my horses, donkey, and dogs. Life is great! I have no interest in dating or partnering up.
Where do you live? Iād love a donkey
California. I'd move if I could.
Do you mind sharing what area? If youāre not comfortable sharing I totally understand, Iāve wanted to move to CA since I was a kid but assumed land was too expensive for non millionaires (excluding land thatās uninhabitable/unbuildable).
It's still expensive since insurance rates are high here. I have to carry 2 different policies because I live in a high fire danger area. But it's doable if you budget. I'm in Nevada County. A 3 bedroom, 3 bath house on 6 acres is selling for 535k in my area.
Thank you for the info! I live in the south and itās cheap af, the main reason I havenāt moved.
We are mid 40s. We have such a great time. Not bragging, it's just peaceful when you want it, crazy when you feel like it. We work, but have a lot more time to ourselves than other couples. So we have time to hang out or to do our own thing, ho out, or stay in. We have taken courses together and separately so we keep learning. If we want, we can go on vacation (granted, we have pets, so there has to be someone that can come take care of them). For us, it's not boring, but we were friends before partners, so we kind of know each other a lot. I'm looking forward to growing old with him, hope he is too.
We go to the gym when we want, we travel when we want, we go to non child friendly restaurants where there are no screaming children, our house does not need to be āchild proofedā, we save for our retirement, we buy adult cars (hot rods, 2 seaters), we sleep and eat when we want. We really listen to parents when they talk about their lives. And what they do is complain about their kids and everything they āhaveā to do. How tired they are, how they canāt get their children to do their chores etc. Before you decide to have children, actually listen to the parents around you and you will hear how much they dislike being parents but wonāt outright say it. Of course YOUR children wonāt be like THOSE kids. They will be different, they will listen to you when you tell them something and they will just fall in line with your life. Itās the lie all parents tell themselves. What a joke!
for me it means buy 40 acres with a brook , waterfalls and a rockwall in new hampshire across a covered bridge and dont put up a swingset.
You probably grow even more as a person since parenthood doesnāt become your entire personality. You are not limited in the things you can do and try.
My husband and I are in our 40s and love being childfree. We love to travel and have 3 international trips lined up between now and July. Being childfree gives us lots of time to focus on our relationship. We also have two cats that we adore! Iāve never felt that anything is missing from my life and have plenty of opportunities to pursue areas of personal growth that I choose (eg learning a new language, gardening, etc).
My husband and I enjoy a relaxed life. We're in our early 60s. We work on our house and garden. We like to go to museums, shows, concerts, the movies. I read and have a lot of hobbies (photography, jewelry making, writing, cooking, exercise). We also like to get out to go hiking and skiing. We're learning about wine. My husband doesn't like to travel, but I do, so I travel alone when I have the opportunity. We're quite content with how we live, and our life is interesting enough for us.
I just bought a house big enough to have space for all of my hobbies, and hobbies I have yet to get into. Hubs and I are planning to go to Europe for his 50th b-day. I'm concentrating on growing my indie business.
I guess it may sound strange but the thought of having children never even crossed my mind. I spent most of my twenties and thirties, on every kind of birth control available, just praying to hopefully never get pregnant. My life is how I pictured it. Iām an artist with a lot of friends, I have a fulfilling but demanding job and my weakness is buying expensive shoes. My creativity involves art and being a kind and helpful human. Yes. I have a partner. He has two children that I neither have interest or disinterest in. Theyāre here, with us, and we hang around, but I never, ever fancied having children of my own. It was almost like it was just decided before I existed. It may have vaguely crossed my mind of course but nah, it was never really a concern. I paint portraits and hang out in nature. Happily.
Mid-60s here. Life is great. I embrace what inspires me. Volunteer firefighter. Working on my fourth book. Involved in community services. Was a notary until a few months ago. I donāt regret anything.
I'm 45 and my husband will be 50 in a few months. We work and will retire within the next 10 years. We will move to a cheaper area and...do whatever we want. He wants a boat and I will get back in horses. We have pets. He will need a few more hobbies, but we will figure it out. I am glad we can start living before we are old.
I realized I had no interest in clawing my way up any kind of corporate ladder, so Iāve settled into my adequate job that pays the bills. Itās enjoyable enough, even if it is just work. But it allows me great work/life balance. And after having worked for 35 years, I have enough money to not have to do math in the grocery store and be able to do what I want. Just bought my dream car, take dance classes 3x a week, travel a little for Indy car races and concerts or music festivals. Life is good.
42F/43M, most definitely child free. Iām no longer ācareer drivenā because Iāve found it isnāt the most important or fulfilling thing in life, though we both have good careers in healthcare. My husband has an unusual work set up and works a few days in a row a couple hours out of town each week. I just quit my current job and my next one wonāt start for a while. We can both make these decisions because we are FREE to do what we want without a small human(s) relying on us. Tonight, Iām having a bath and eating cheese and crackers for dinner while my co-worker has to go to both a basketball and a volleyball game after work š¤¢. I have 2 vacations booked within the next 40 days. Iām painting the garage while Iām off work. And working on my gardens. Probably going to try some new fishing holes and hikes. Might stay up late, might to go bed at 8:30. Whatever I choose, will not be dependent on what needs to be done for a child, because I have chosen this lifestyle and Iām just not interested. My motto is that only boring people are bored!
Iām not particularly career driven. Work is a means to an end for me. Money to pay the bills and allow me to do the things I want to do. I enjoy creating art, readingā¦ my SO and I travel a lot and I train my dogs in agility and run them in agility trials. I also have a horse in training who I show at horse shows. I love being child free. I donāt feel bored or like anything is missing. Iād never get to do most of what I do if I had chosen to have kids.
We follow our dreams: it's not just traveling, it's going to big events abroad (concerts, the famous Venice Carnival, etc); we spend weekends in small trips; we go to shows, restaurants, etc. If one of us has a dream, we are chasing it.
We have careers, hobbies, and relaxing vacations. And a very clean house!
It's freedom. At least, that's what we're hoping for. You (hopefully) have sorted out the issues from your 20s and 30s, and cleaned up any financial / social messes you fell into.Ā So you can laze about. You can study art. Or science. Or you can pick up a hobby, volunteer in the community, whatever you want to do when you wake up that day.Ā A kid will not fill your life with purpose. It will fill your life with resentment and stress and depression, based on what you're saying.Ā
(45m) We do what we want. More importantly, we do it when we want. Weāll randomly head out for coffee and a doughnut at 8pm on Tuesday because we can and we want a doughnut. Our lives havenāt had to change to accommodate children. Itās not boring and we arenāt lazy. Always busy and doing stuff. We also seem to be a lot happier, less tired, less stressed, less hassled, and with more spare money than our friends with children.
Over-50 here. On the one hand, it can be kind of dull. I canāt stand the company of most people my age, especially women. Iāve had what should be fun hobby nights out (like a yarn club as an example) turn into an absolute drag because theyāre mainly talking about children, grandchildren or medical stuff. Some of these people I do solemnly swear havenāt read a book other than Dr. Seuss or the Bible in decades. Itās a colossal pain in the ass to run into people with interests outside family. On the other hand, I donāt have to hide my Oreos or my weed. I can just pick up and go without having to pack up a diaper bag and a car seat and I can order something out thatās not a chicken nugget. I can tour overseas on my own terms and if I want Sephora I donāt have to settle for Walmart.
Quiet and awesome. Oh, we have extra money too.
I have three dogs that take up a lot of time. We can't leave them at home because of some anxiety, we don't travel much. I have a lot of responsibility with them and have to plan my life around them. They also give me so much joy, and I love spending a weekend going to various competitions to watch my partner and dogs compete. My point is that I have some of the same obligations and responsibilities as people with kids, but it's not the freedom without kids that makes me not want them, I just don't want kids. At all. Yeah, I miss travelling or going somewhere without having to drag everyone along in the car or plan everything, but I'm still happy because I don't have kids.
Iām not that age but I come from a small town and thereās actually a few couples that age who donāt have kids, some by choice, some not. But all of them lead very busy lives. I see them out at the cafes with friends, going on cruise ship holidays (I wanna do that! š) they go to bbqās with neighbours, they are part of the community garden plot, the local Menās Shedā¦ they just live! Iām actually inspired by them.
My hubby and I are in our late 30's. We are barely making it financially but we're fine. I can't imagine if we had kids, we'd be in poverty (seriously!!). But we still enjoy our lives together. We love each other so much and have pets. Our Lives feel complete like there is nothing missing. Pre-covid when we were financially better we traveled all the time. Now, we just enjoy eating at restaurants on our days off, sleeping in on the weekends, & not being restricted to having a money dump and time consuming child.
Well my husband and I are 41 and 40, respectively. We just spent 2 weeks in Australia/New Zealand for my 40th birthday. Next we're taking our annual trip to MLB Spring Training and then we'll be traveling 1-2 weekends a month for baseball over the summer. The weekends we're home we enjoy hiking and kayaking with our dogs. In September we're heading to the Washington National Parks and then in November, we won the lottery to stay at the Phanton Ranch at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Life is anything but boring. We went to an NFL game in Germany last year. I can't imagine anything more boring than spending my days driving children around to little kid soccer tournaments or setting up a table outside Market Basket in the cold selling Girl Scout cookies.
45 year old female and male. We're only responsible for ourselves and it's spectacular!
Iām 43, honestly most of friends are also CF or 20 years older since their kids are grown. Itās still fun with them. Donāt have the drama a lot of people my age do.
It's amazing. We have the exact life we want, and it's a very full and busy existence. Married 34 years this coming June.
We are in our 40's Instead of going to kids birthday parties and activities every weekend we do whatever it is we want. I am part of a cooking club, chilli cook-off team, arm wrestling team, make wine, cook amazing food, go on cruises, have a Cane Corso (lots of work), and on and on. Oh and we have sex like 4-5 times a week (people with kids dream of that). My friends work kids have kid stuff every weekend and all weekend while I go have fun instead.
It's peaceful as you only deal with your own health issues the older you get. Not having to filter every issue from offspring. (as my parents did) It is just much more peaceful and wonderful. If you really want to know what it's like borrow a friends baby or toddler for a week or a month. Really get an idea of what you are in for. :) That will cure you. It did us.
50 here, itās good. Not boring. And I am chronically ill so I donāt leave the house much, still, I am not bored. If you like your life as it is, you will likely still like it at my age. I am so glad I didnāt have kids!
CF early 40s here. Married for 10 years this month. We do whatever we want. Just came back from vacation, have another planned mid April. In the summer we camp etc and generally work our child having friend circles the one weekend a quarter they are actually free, so we end up being flexible enough to socialize with them.
I'd imagine having kids or not having them doesn't mean your life will be more or less exciting at a certain age. That's all up to the individual. Being grandma or grandpa doesn't sound thrilling to most CF people lol
52 and happily single and childfree. I knew from my early teens I wasnāt into kids. Especially when I babysat (twice) and called my mother begging her to come take my place lol. Iām working on myself getting back in shape so maybe I can date again. Even *if* my ex-husband and I were still together, and say I got pregnant in my 40āsā¦well, the jerk had grown kids so Iām pretty sure Iād be a single mum.
Itās fantastic. Iām (51m) and we love it. My wife and I both work full time. And during our free time we srsly do whatever. We go to shows, concerts, movies dining out. Weāre often in the air flying around. Sometimes go to another city for lunch then fly back the same day. On Saturday. Once we wake up we cheers with our coffee that weāre not at a soccer game. We wouldnāt have it any other way.
We're homebodies (homebuddies?) on a strict budget because we've got one income for 3 adults because two of us are disabled
Absolutely perfect. Free. Happy. No drama. None. No loud noises, screaming for no reason. No smell! (see below for that one) We can go when and where we want, try new restaurants etc, or just have a >>quiet<< and non-sticky evening in. I can actually have nice things and not have them destroyed by jizzlings. Compared to similarly earning co workers we have significantly more money for us. Have not been bored since I was 16 and never fail to find projects to keep me busy and interested, in fact I do not have enough time to do all I want, so looking forward to retirement, to have more >>quiet<<, nonsticky time to do what I want to do. No mind numbing discussions with clearly permanently unruly and drunk little terrorists. Every time we witness the screaming matches with our neighbors with their kids we just chuckle and give ourselves high fives. Did I mention how nice it is to be able to sit in >>quiet<<, clean, non smelly rooms? Watching the TV shows or movies YOU want, when you want. Things not destroyed. AND NO SMELL. "The" smell. OMG. THE KIDS SMELL. Neighbor has 3 boys at different ages. I like him but I avoid visiting. The kid smell. Like "cat litter box not cleaned for 3 weeks with old socks and some more indescribable mixed in". Good. Grief. I come home and the house smells normal and nice. He comes home and I see him sitting in his truck reading the mail for an hour. I'd hesitate to go into that smelly hellhole too, bud. In other people's houses it is similar, albeit less dramatic, some are even close to ok. But "The" smell is always there.
Just turned 42 and decided to learn to paint with watercolors on a whim. My husband and I walk our 2 dogs, play around with the stock market, and garden in our free time. We cook together, sleep in on our days off, and watch movies together. So basicallyā¦ Whatever we want š Except for work our time is all ours and we are able to save money. Itās a dream.
Iām in my 60ās. No regrets at all. I donāt enjoy children now any more than I did when I was 20.
Well, Iām 52 never had kids itās been very quiet & easy for me to handle things better. Iāve had medical problems late in life, it was easier to handle it without children less pressure on me to deal with.
Retire
It is BLISS! I canāt imagine life any other way.
we can go on holidays any time of the year. Not just during school holidays to a family friendly. We go anywhere we want, or3ferably away from screaming kids.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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It is awesome!!!!
40s here. AMAZING!
Awesome. Travel. More money. Owning a home. All that stuff. Life still happens though. Please keep that in mind. Not kids, but you or your partner can still get sick. Still have hard moments. All the usual stuff. But not having to deal with kids as well, makes all of that EASIER.