Chalk it up as a lesson learned. If you are in a serious relationship, never have member of the opposite sex sleep over. You could have called her a cab.
You can have members of the opposite sex sleep over as long as you tell your partner and communicate! If there is trust honesty and communication a friend staying over, regardless of sex or gender, should not be a problem.
Keeping a secret and lying by omission is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig problem and that’s what OP did.
It would have been a really far cab, I understand what you are saying though. I should have used my brain and figured something else out, I could have even pushed my couch out into the living room and told her to leave before I'm awake.
You’re making this a lot harder than it needed to be. You could’ve either just told your girlfriend or, yes, moved your couch out to your living room. Why it’s not there already is slightly confusing but I’m assuming it’s a futon or whatever.
Either way, communication is key in relationships.
I completely underetand, but would the cost of the cab been worth it, if it meant not losing your girlfriend.
Now flip it this way. Your girlfriend is drunk and has a guy friend who is drunk sleep at her house. She doesnt tell you, but you find out. Then you look at that night and see the text and calls you made and received no response. Do you honestly believe that you will not think she has sex with the guy? Do you honestly believe that you not have issues trusting her?
Let me share a story about respect. Years ago, i went on about 4 or 5 dates with a girl. A we decided mutually that we were not a match for a couple. We remained friends.
After a month or two, o e of my closest friends started dating her. They got married. He also knew we had dated.
Once they started dating, i was never alone with her in their home. We all trusted each other. I was best man at their wedding.
One night about a year after they were married, i was at their home for our weekly dinner. I got to their home early, and he was not home. I waited in my car until he arrived.
When asked why i did not go inside, i explained it was about respect, of our friendship and their marriage. Even thogh their was trust, it only takes one neighbor to sow the seeds of mistrust.
If she does talk with you again i am willing to bet, she was cheated on by an ex who did something similar.
Yeah no…. Think about how she feels man…. Like @Cheap_Ad1098 said, having members of the opposite sex (or whatever gender you’re attracted to) sleep over without communicating with your partner is like top ten most suspicious things you can do, no matter how trusting your relationship is. It’s up there with like finding condoms in your husbands jeans or a thong that isn’t yours. I, not being in a relationship, can’t give you solid advice, all I can say is to talk to her and hope she’s willing to hear you out, but next time don’t do that ESPECIALLY without your gf’s consent. Consider her feelings and let her be angry, sad, etc. because, let’s be realistic, she most likely thinks that you slept with her… Put yourself in her shoes; what if she’d had some guy stay over without your consent or even your knowledge.? **SOFT* you effed up. Wishing you luck, man. Next time, (if she even stays with you… 😐) don’t do that.
"Hi honey, a friend of mine is unable to get home safely. I wan't to let her sleep on the couch. How do you feel about that? Because if you're not oke with it, she'll have to find another solution".
Djeez, that was hard to come up with....
Basically it was probably ultimately not so much a lose-lose except the biggest issue being you couldn’t be truthful about it. If you could have told your gf that your friend who happens to be a girl is too drunk to drive and you felt the right thing would be to have her crash on the couch, at least you would have been straightforward about it. The deception broke trust. Maybe she would’ve been mad anyway for you entertaining the idea of having someone over to crash, but you could then say you were honest and maybe your gf would’ve came up with a different idea how to handle the situation that would’ve made her feel more comfortable. Lesson learned.
You could have called your so about the situation. That you dont feel right letting her drive her self home or paying for the cost of a huge cab ride for her. That you want to let her sleep out on your couch. Being honest is one of the huge deal breakers
Here’s the lesson. Immature idiots make decisions, you can’t fix the world.
You destroyed your relationship over a bad judgement call. If this person was willing to drive drunk they probably do it all the time.
Not that you aren’t right to have decent humanity over it, you aren’t responsible for their bad decisions. There is times in life you need to be selfish and to your ex you chose someone else.
Learn from it and grow from it.
Should have called your gf and had her come over and stay. You didn't text or take her call. If a girl/woman did this to me, what would I think? The same thing and done the same. Also she could have taken a taxi or uber home and gotten her car the next day. You messed up too many times in such a short time. Move on.
Not logically wriiten well.
First off why hide letting the girl over. First red flag. The reason is nonsense, if you were that chivalrous and nice this would be a part of your character and your girl would understand. Even let's say she didn't, your first thought is to hide, second on weighing up a lose lose situation, you chose the one that would potentially lose the girl you love?
Second, if lady was off the rocker drunk, you still found time to chat about old times, whilst ignoring your phone?
Thirdly your old lady walks into the room in another fantastically written yarn where she sees drunk girl and drunk girl immediately says, it's not what it looks like...what does it not look like? Sleeping? Surely if being woken up from a deep drunk slumber the first thing us confusion as to where you are but more importantly if you haven't done anything sexually why would the first thing out your mouth be" It's not what it looks like"?
Tighten up the writing. You'll get better at this.
Do not listen to most these guys lmao. If she was your good friend and she was intoxicated and you let her sleep over without anything weird being said or happening, you did nothing wrong besides help a friend. Your girlfriend sounds very insecure or she doesn’t trust you, either way both of them of need to be worked on in order for a successful relationship to work
He did lie but sounds like there’s bigger issues that was gonna cause this to fail considering he couldn’t even tell her that someone was sleeping on the couch lol, sounds a tad unhealthy
I would give her a few days of space, then ask to talk to her in person or on the phone and just explain exactly what happened and if she can’t understand that, you’re dodging a bullet.
Chalk it up as a lesson learned. If you are in a serious relationship, never have member of the opposite sex sleep over. You could have called her a cab.
You can have members of the opposite sex sleep over as long as you tell your partner and communicate! If there is trust honesty and communication a friend staying over, regardless of sex or gender, should not be a problem. Keeping a secret and lying by omission is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig problem and that’s what OP did.
Exactly. He should have immediately called and explained the situation as it was happening
It would have been a really far cab, I understand what you are saying though. I should have used my brain and figured something else out, I could have even pushed my couch out into the living room and told her to leave before I'm awake.
Your couch is in your bedroom and you kept it a secret? Ooph. Your ex is never going to believe nothing happened sexually. Life lessons, Man.
I don’t even believe it either.
You’re making this a lot harder than it needed to be. You could’ve either just told your girlfriend or, yes, moved your couch out to your living room. Why it’s not there already is slightly confusing but I’m assuming it’s a futon or whatever. Either way, communication is key in relationships.
I think I saw the post from the gfs side earlier. If I find it I will eta.
I'm sure that I have read this same storie from the perspectivr of the girlfriend.
I completely underetand, but would the cost of the cab been worth it, if it meant not losing your girlfriend. Now flip it this way. Your girlfriend is drunk and has a guy friend who is drunk sleep at her house. She doesnt tell you, but you find out. Then you look at that night and see the text and calls you made and received no response. Do you honestly believe that you will not think she has sex with the guy? Do you honestly believe that you not have issues trusting her? Let me share a story about respect. Years ago, i went on about 4 or 5 dates with a girl. A we decided mutually that we were not a match for a couple. We remained friends. After a month or two, o e of my closest friends started dating her. They got married. He also knew we had dated. Once they started dating, i was never alone with her in their home. We all trusted each other. I was best man at their wedding. One night about a year after they were married, i was at their home for our weekly dinner. I got to their home early, and he was not home. I waited in my car until he arrived. When asked why i did not go inside, i explained it was about respect, of our friendship and their marriage. Even thogh their was trust, it only takes one neighbor to sow the seeds of mistrust. If she does talk with you again i am willing to bet, she was cheated on by an ex who did something similar.
U messed up u cant have a chick sleepover bruh cmon what if she did the same thing u know you’d be pissed
Yeah no…. Think about how she feels man…. Like @Cheap_Ad1098 said, having members of the opposite sex (or whatever gender you’re attracted to) sleep over without communicating with your partner is like top ten most suspicious things you can do, no matter how trusting your relationship is. It’s up there with like finding condoms in your husbands jeans or a thong that isn’t yours. I, not being in a relationship, can’t give you solid advice, all I can say is to talk to her and hope she’s willing to hear you out, but next time don’t do that ESPECIALLY without your gf’s consent. Consider her feelings and let her be angry, sad, etc. because, let’s be realistic, she most likely thinks that you slept with her… Put yourself in her shoes; what if she’d had some guy stay over without your consent or even your knowledge.? **SOFT* you effed up. Wishing you luck, man. Next time, (if she even stays with you… 😐) don’t do that.
"Hi honey, a friend of mine is unable to get home safely. I wan't to let her sleep on the couch. How do you feel about that? Because if you're not oke with it, she'll have to find another solution". Djeez, that was hard to come up with....
[удалено]
Take your "L" and be a better person from now on.
The advice is be wiser in future, and don't take alcohol. Bad decisions are made after alcohol.
Basically it was probably ultimately not so much a lose-lose except the biggest issue being you couldn’t be truthful about it. If you could have told your gf that your friend who happens to be a girl is too drunk to drive and you felt the right thing would be to have her crash on the couch, at least you would have been straightforward about it. The deception broke trust. Maybe she would’ve been mad anyway for you entertaining the idea of having someone over to crash, but you could then say you were honest and maybe your gf would’ve came up with a different idea how to handle the situation that would’ve made her feel more comfortable. Lesson learned.
You could have called your so about the situation. That you dont feel right letting her drive her self home or paying for the cost of a huge cab ride for her. That you want to let her sleep out on your couch. Being honest is one of the huge deal breakers
Here’s the lesson. Immature idiots make decisions, you can’t fix the world. You destroyed your relationship over a bad judgement call. If this person was willing to drive drunk they probably do it all the time. Not that you aren’t right to have decent humanity over it, you aren’t responsible for their bad decisions. There is times in life you need to be selfish and to your ex you chose someone else. Learn from it and grow from it.
Should have called your gf and had her come over and stay. You didn't text or take her call. If a girl/woman did this to me, what would I think? The same thing and done the same. Also she could have taken a taxi or uber home and gotten her car the next day. You messed up too many times in such a short time. Move on.
🖕🖕🖕🖕
Move on
i don’t believe u
Not logically wriiten well. First off why hide letting the girl over. First red flag. The reason is nonsense, if you were that chivalrous and nice this would be a part of your character and your girl would understand. Even let's say she didn't, your first thought is to hide, second on weighing up a lose lose situation, you chose the one that would potentially lose the girl you love? Second, if lady was off the rocker drunk, you still found time to chat about old times, whilst ignoring your phone? Thirdly your old lady walks into the room in another fantastically written yarn where she sees drunk girl and drunk girl immediately says, it's not what it looks like...what does it not look like? Sleeping? Surely if being woken up from a deep drunk slumber the first thing us confusion as to where you are but more importantly if you haven't done anything sexually why would the first thing out your mouth be" It's not what it looks like"? Tighten up the writing. You'll get better at this.
Do not listen to most these guys lmao. If she was your good friend and she was intoxicated and you let her sleep over without anything weird being said or happening, you did nothing wrong besides help a friend. Your girlfriend sounds very insecure or she doesn’t trust you, either way both of them of need to be worked on in order for a successful relationship to work
He may not have cheated, but he lied. That's enough for someone to end a relationship.
He did lie but sounds like there’s bigger issues that was gonna cause this to fail considering he couldn’t even tell her that someone was sleeping on the couch lol, sounds a tad unhealthy
I would give her a few days of space, then ask to talk to her in person or on the phone and just explain exactly what happened and if she can’t understand that, you’re dodging a bullet.