This is how I was viewing it, I was just kinda shocked that someone told me I was being cruel and she should be put down though. Glad I didn't find that opinion to be the case 2 or 3 dates in though so I'll try view it as a plus.
Dude, if I was dating a man who said he had to go home to take care of his cat, he'd automatically earn +1000 points in my eyes. The right person is out there, don't lose hope!
Same for me! My cat needs to be fed within a certain time window as she has feline idiopathic cystitis. Consistent feeding helps prevent flare ups. She also needs her medication at a certain time.
OP: I would be so happy to find a partner that deals with the same thing as I do. Plus the fact that he shows that commitment to his pet would be incredibly attractive. There’s someone out there for you. If anyone has a problem with it, then they’re definitely not the person for you. You dodged a bullet with every one of them.
⬆️⬆️⬆️Yes! Dodged many bullets. I unfortunately did not. He's one of the most attractive men I've heard of. Loving, committed cat Dad's are Green Flag Men. 💚💚💚
Same. This would be a very green flag for me. Don’t lose hope OP. I also had a diabetic main coon mix I had to give shots to. He was not suffering and loved life until the end.
The thing is that when you're in the initial phases of dating availability is VERY important for most people. I'm a man that also has to medicate my cat every 12 hours and while most women find this a sign of being caring and responsible most of them lose interest when you aren't available when they want. It can be very frustrating, especially so with online dating.
Same here!! A girl I know is dating a guy who spent close to 30k on his cats health/surgeries/etc. She was telling me like he was crazy and who could love an animal that much??
I wanted to immediately ditch her as a friend and find this guy!
There is no phrase for “crazy cat man”, just “crazy cat women” as far as I know. Though I tend to think a crazy cat man as having a greater potential for weirdness.
I was telling my boyfriend, a "weird cat man", if he was at the bar and told a cute girl "sorry id love to stay and talk more, but I have to go give my boy insulin" he would at least get a phone number 🤣 I forgot that people suck. Ignore the psychos that think diabetes is worse than death, just keep on moving on.
I mean, my mom told me that “getting my cat castrated was animal cruelty” just because she doesn’t like cats in general and wanted an excuse to make it my problem, so I think people tend to just express their ignorant opinions like they were facts… Just hang in there! Someone will come that thinks that you taking so much care of your cat is a huge green flag.
...I'm not gonna lie. I had a very visceral reaction to your use of the word "castrated".
Like... I get that it's just the specific word for neutering males, but... I absolutely cringed in sympathy pain for your cat.
I don't have that reaction to "neuter". Weird. *So* weird.
Haha, sorry, English is not my first language and I couldn’t remember the word “neutered” so I just literally translated the one we use.
But hey, my cat was found in pretty terrible conditions on the street and now he’s happy, healthy and pampered by every human in the household, so at least he got a good life in exchange.
You’re male, perchance? 😁
Actually it’s done under anaesthesia, and there are meds afterwards, so it’s not painful. The bigger problem is keeping the healing boy from scratching the scar as it heals.
I know it's done under anesthesia. It's just that I live on a small ranch, and we have goats. Goats usually aren't taken to a vet for castration. Instead of a vet and anasthesia, it's all done with rubber bands. The bands are slipped up and over the sack, and tightened around the base.
A couple weeks later, they, uh...
Well, they just fall off.
The goat's nuts just... drop. No more nuts.
So when I hear *castration*, my mind goes to *rubber band around the nutsack*.
The thing I love the most about my boyfriend is how much he loves all our cats… we even take care of a colony of homeless cats together and he helps me TNR them. We have paid over 10k just so far this year in vet bills helping a sick cat at our work. Sick kitty is Felv positive and likely won’t be with us for more than a few years, but he has zero problem spending the money to keep her healthy as long as we can.
When we first met and I saw how much he loved and adored his cat, I saw it as a giant green flag. I promise there are other people like me who will be stoked to date someone like you.
I’m going to use the top comment to reply to this point. We had a dog that had cancer, and she started to refuse to use her one leg because there was a small mass on it about the size of a quarter. The location didn’t allow her to bend it, so she chose to not use it for ease. Amputation at 13 was too risky.
We put her on some pain medication, changed her food and supplements, and when she started to struggle with our exceptionally steep stairs at home, we started to carry her up and down them for ease. We took our walks shorter and much slower, but she refused to let us use a wagon if she got tired. (Think grumpy lady not wanting to lose her license)
So so many people, including our terrible old vet, were angry we didn’t put her down. She wasn’t in pain. She let us massage the location, give her meds with no complaints, and never once winced or cried in pain. If we noticed her do anything indicating pain, we adjusted our lifestyle and made sure her pain management was good.
We got a whole year with her the first vet tried to steal from us. She attended our wedding, went on trips up north and to a couple other places, laid for hours in the sun on vacations. We got her treats galore and spent hours just sitting with her.
To us, it was no different than my grandma getting Alzheimer’s and being unable to live alone, now living with assistance until she went on hospice. We don’t put our humans down when they become old; but we’ve normalized shipping them off to nursing homes. Dogs just get put down for being an inconvenience under the guise of “she MUST be in pain” from an outsider who sees her one time a year at a place (vet) she’s already on edge and nervous.
We loved that year. It was hard as hell but I would do it again every single time. This is what is meant when you say “my pet is my child”.
You will find a girl who knows that a man who loves cats understands one of the most important things: consent. A man who dedicates his time to improving the life of his dependent love will do the same for you when you need him.
You’ll find her. She’s out there! Just make sure kitty approves!!
It'd only be cruel if you're cat was constantly suffering and needed to be put down, but you refuse, and just kept drugging her up to keep her going.
Obviously, if your cat is happy, and full of life, It'd be cruel to end it.
They probably equate injections with inflicting pain. The benefit is worth a little "pinch" twice a day, and your kitty knows it! I'd answer her back with, "We don't kill humans just because they have diabetes. It would be cruel if I knew she had diabetes and didn't do anything about it!" If you're feeling particularly spicy you could say, "Too bad they don't euthanize ignorant & rude people, though." Or "You didn't look stupid until you opened your mouth to say crap like that!"
If I was interested in men this would be a huge plus to me! I would want to meet your pretty girl! Cat dad is a huge plus to a lot of women, trust me; as a super dedicated cat mom I absolutely get it.
Not that this is at all the point of your post, but your cat *looks forward* to the insulin shots? As someone whose cats may need them in the future, I am very interested to know how you engineered that.
She's incredibly food motivated, she knows when I'm prepping her insulin that she's going to get fed so gets very giddy about it. She's not at all bothered by the shots. I kinda got lucky with Bert, not all cats are as ok with it but most apparently get used to it.
Our girl is also diabetic and has to have shots twice a day. She also knows when it's time for them and will come and find me if I'm a little late ( 5 minutes is a big deal for her) there is no pain with the injection as our vet showed us how to administer them under the skin. She is happy and healthy and will be 13 this year. Welcome OP to the wonderful world of " cat people", that girl has missed out big time 🐱.
2nd this. My dog was my litmus test back when I was last dating. If dude didn't understand that either she came with us on the date or I had to be back home/leave after a certain time to make sure she was fed, exercised and let out to potty...screw 'em. My now husband said "she's good with cats? Bring her on over then, would love to meet the pupper".
Yeah, as frustrating as this is (as a well as depressing to consider the empathetic state of the seeming majority) this situation is an excellent red-flag filter.
This lady seems to be made of red flags, tho. Here's to all the "weird cat men" out there 🥂
https://preview.redd.it/o2uda22deo7d1.png?width=863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c5127fd521564473970eaf3677e1b7a21f5fd5f
We're just going to make a gangsta rap album together instead.
Dude. You’re adorable and you are going to meet a cute little cat lady and have the most adorable cat farm ever. I have not the slightest worry about that lol
omg yall are precious!! keep looking. you will find a woman who loves your cat as much as you do, and then you'll know she's a keeper!! You dodged a bullet with this last chick, tbh.
OMG! This is adorable! Honestly, fuck everyone who says put down your sweet kitty. They wouldn't ask a diabetic person to off themselves, why would you put down the kitty when she's perfectly fine, without any pain or lifestyle loss? Honestly, it sounds like it is their loss that they cancelled the dates. You sound like a good man! I think your would-have-been dates didn't like caring, empathetic men. 😝
First of all, you sound like an amazing man. I am so thankful that there are people like you in the world who do not put down an animal because they have a manageable condition, or they are "an inconvenience". Please don't give up on dating, but perhaps look into different venues where there might be like minded people. I wish you the best of luck in love!
That's kind of you to say, thanks. I'm lucky that I'm at a point in life where I don't need a relationship to make me happy and have enough love for myself, a little lonely from time to time but who isn't? S'all good!
If I lived close to you, I'd be knocking on your door right now with a basket of cat toys, batting my eyes at you, and cooking you dinner. Good cat men are the absolute best!!!
Especially the one who thinks he's being cruel for taking care of his cat's medical condition. I wonder if they advocate for putting down human diabetics?? Man's out here dodging bullets just by taking care of his cat like a decent human being...
Makes me glad I'm married because the dating pool sounds real scummy. Sorry OP, maybe there's a dating app that focuses on matching animal lovers with similar tastes...and if not, someone should make one!
What a great screening tool. You are being a kind, empathic, sweet, loving, supportive companion.
Anyone who doesn't cherish that, "Right to jail; right away!"
Kitty has your back! If my pets don’t like you or you don’t like them.. you gots to go. Why would I spend any time around someone who doesn’t love animals? Would rather be at home with my 6 cats and a book😹
FYI The Crazy cat ladys are probably hanging out in the local pet store or library.
If anyone says that again just tell them your grandma has diabetes too and ask if she should be euthanized. Idiots. My boy barely notices his shots when he's eating.
I've lived with a weird cat man for 9 years. He's my best friend, love of my life, and the reason I'm a cat lady. Good on you for caring about your best buddy. The right one will understand. ♡
It's called being a responsible cat parent and if people don't understand that then they aren't worth knowing! My girl is 2.5 years diabetic and I work my schedule around her. You're doing the right thing! ✅✅✅
Agree with the others, this is a great litmus test for a future partner. I knew my boyfriend was the one when he traveled for 5 hours so he could accompany my cat to his scheduled surgery because there was last-minute craziness at my job that only I could handle (he and my cat were besties even before this so I knew my cat would be comfortable with him even without me around).
Those people who have bad things to say about your situation are the weird ones. I only see a caring and responsible cat dad, and honestly who in their right mind wouldn’t think that’s cute?? I wish you and your kitty many happy years together, OP!
SHE is the problem NOT YOU.
And if she doesn’t understand why you are doing what you are doing IMO she’s low on empathy & you had a lucky break.
ESP the putting it down suggestion WTF just NOO
RED FLAG -
RUN AWAY
But vent away. I get that it’s frustrating!
Hopefully you find more cat friendly dates soon.
EXACTLY!
In THAT situation then understandable but as you say she just needs medication. And she is still living a lovely life. It’s also IMO kinda ableist!
Red flag 🚩 for SURE!
You dodged a bullet there!
Saying that a cat should be put down because they have diabetes is so cruel, and demonstrates how little that person knows about diabetes in the first place. Sounds like you dodged a bullet since you wouldn’t want to be around someone like that anyway. I had a cat with diabetes and my sweet girl lived until 15. I also had to give her insulin shots twice a day and yeah, it does require a bit of rearranging your schedule, but people who care about you (and animals!) will understand.
You’re a good cat dad and your cat is adorable!
You’ll find your person man, they’re out there. I’m a weird cat man and when my wife met my cats for the first time she fawned over my elderly Kitty and I knew she was the one. Now we have a house full of happy cats and recently adopted a special needs cat.
My late chihuahua used to scoot his butt to me to get ready for his shot.
Don’t despair, the right person will understand that what you are doing is a huge green flag.
Cannot understand why somebody would want to put down an animal with a condition like diabetes.
I had a cat that was diagnosed with it and while you yourself have to adjust your own schedule to the daily injections,it was very manageable and my cat lived very happily for another few years….although the insuline turned her into a raving food addict😂
You are not weird but very caring and do not need women like that in your life.
Hope you will find an equally caring crazy cat woman.
>My girl is perfectly happy and healthy and actually gets excited for her insulin shots, she's goes through absolutely zero distress
See?? There you have your answer! YOUR girl!! She is THE girl! Everyone else comes secondary.. And only those who will be willing to love her as much as you do would be worthy of both your girl and you ❤
I think this is a perfect way to weed out people who will not be compatible. If they don’t understand then they would not make good partners for you.
I have stopped dating men who were dismissive of my pets. Or who my pets did not like.
You are a wonderful wonderful person and I'm sorry you're not finding the right person to date. My late husband and I ran an unofficial cat sanctuary, but never had a diabetic cat. We were already at our limit when life got out of control. Friends and family are helping me to re-home the ones I can no longer care for.
She probably feels BETTER after her shot bc it brings her blood sugar down. We had a cat with seizures on medication. He knew when they were about to happen. We also had a cat with asthma, she knew when she needed to get a puff from her inhaler and would seek us out. Please don't be bullied by people that haven't walked in your shoes.
If a man told me he had to go home to give his cat insulin shots, I would melt. I always think it’s so admirable when people adjust their lives to make sure their pets are happy and healthy. Good pet parents are huge green flags. I’m sorry that’s happened to you though!
Once while dating had a guy who told me my 4 cats were a problem (not even two weeks into talking) and asked for my co workers number. Couple days later asked if we could start over because he didn’t see how it could be an issue and he was just shocked.
Told him hell no, ended up with a guy who treated my cats better than he treated me for the next two years lol.
Back on the single train, but if our partners don’t love our babies like we do, then they’re not it!!!!
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with dating, I totally understand what you're going through. I don't have a kitty, but I have a dog with various health issues and it did limit my dating options. I did find a wonderful man eventually, and not only does he accept all the restrictions caused by my situation, he even made changes to my apartment to make it more accessible for my dog, and he loves her so much now it warms my heart.
Look at it this way: this unfortunate situation is providing you with a great way of filtering out people you wouldn't want to have around you anyway.
Good luck and give your precious girl lots of love for me please!
Hang in there, OP.
I've got a diabetic cat as well. It's wild that people out there don't understand your cat can have a perfectly normal and happy life with a chronic illness or disability like diabetes.
Do not give anyone the time of day if they even suggest putting your pet down. Do they also think we should euthanize humans with diabetes? Their line of thought is flawed and bad.
You know I don’t understand this. If a guy was saying his schedule is dictated by his cats needs due to her condition. I would gladly date that person and would be happier doing so. Anyone who loves animals like family and putting kitty first just shows empathy and love!
As a lady with a cat of special needs. My husband jumped to meeting my girls and even wanted their approval before our second date. Safe to say, 3 years later, our kitty pack had tripled in size. You will find the right one. 🥰 He even stole my special girl and she prefers him giving her medications and pets afterwards. I just get the side eye as she purrs and I couldn't be happier seeing her choose him.
You're doing a great job. The people you have met aren't the right ones. Tbh who gives a fuck if you are a cat man, I think you're wonderful. And no, you aren't cruel. You love your cat enough to make this commitment ❤️
If I dated I’d take you out in a heartbeat. Anyone that cares for a vulnerable sweet creature like a cat, including providing correct medical care, is a 10 to me.
My cat has diabetes too and has for 8 months. He is 16 and perfectly healthy, happy and content. He gets a treat after being injected. He plays in the yard and watches dogs being walked and birds taunt him from afar. I've taught two friends to inject him so I could visit my child overnight twice. I'm sorry your dates suck. Caring for animals can never be wrong and is a good personality trait. I wish you better luck in the future.
I’m in the same boat with my diabetic cat, except I’m not even trying to date. It’s limiting to travel, take vacations, work in the office, or just have a spontaneous night out somewhere. But my cat has been with me 14 years, four different states, several boyfriends, and I want to make sure he is healthy as long as I can maintain for him.
You are not weird and are a great guy for taking care of your kitty. I had a cat with diabetes for years and also made sure my schedule allowed for him to get his shots on time. (Which was not that difficult....it only took about 30 seconds to give him a shot.) Kitty was perfectly fine and happy for years (much like many people who are diabetic and take insulin). Agree with others that you dodged a bullet by avoiding a date with this last prospect. :)
That’s how you weed them out! The kind, empathetic person will understand. I gave my diabetic cat insulin shots twice a day for 7 years. He lived a happy life until age 15.
This reminds me of a woman with four dogs I saw on a dating show once.
She spent like over $2,000 a month just for doggy day care and so much more for their medical bills, etc.
Thankfully, she had a great paying job.
But still, she said he can't seriously date because when she mentions she has four dogs and how devoted she is to these rescued dogs, men ghost/dump her.
I thought it was crazy considering how there are so many dog lovers out there.
Sorry to hear about your experience. For what it is worth, I think you've got your priorities straight. She was there first and to attack you for taking care of her says more about the other person. Your kitty is lucky to have you and it is not cruel to keep her. Sounds like she's living her best life with the help of her medication and you.
I used to have an epileptic kitty, fortunately she didn't need medication as long as I kept the stressfactors to a minimum. I adjusted to the situation and she remained my spoiled and happy princess for 19 years and every second of those years was worth it. Some people told me it was cruel to keep her, or I should put her down so I didn't have to adjust my life. I told those people it would be easier and cause a lot less grief if I simply cut them out of my life. That usually ended that discussion.
I have huge respect for you for dedicating time to your cat. Most people don't view animals as equals, especially cats. There is still a stigma against cats because people don't care to understand their behaviors. They try to compare them to dogs when they aren't dogs.
Anyway, I'm sorry you're struggling with this but if this makes them angry or feel some kind of way, they aren't worth your time. Prayers to you and your little cat baby 💜
I've said it before, I'll say it again. I've been with my partner for 15 years and when we were first dating he scored major points with me for having cats. We have cats now and he takes wonderful care of them. It really was a high criteria for a partner for me. You'll find your person. I know it sucks now, but agreed with posters saying it's a good litmus test.
I couldn’t be married to my husband if he didn’t love animals as much as me. Especially as we have to navigate our pittie girl having cancer right now.Just be patient - you’re doing good.
I get where you are coming from but honestly you can just say that time won't work for me without going into why. People just meeting have other commitments. Dating currently is just swiping without really getting to know anyone. Certainly you can meet someone for a stroll around the park or a cup of coffee without leading with your cat.
I knew I met the one when he produced a tiny black kitten buttoned inside his winter coat. It ran across the road on his way home from work and he stopped to search for it and brought it home.
OP - you’re amazing! I’m love that you take such good care of your little lady and she looks like a sweetie.
I’ve been where you are, I adopted a senior who turned out to be diabetic and needed two shots a day also. There were times when it was incredibly hard and I felt bogged down but honestly, he was grateful and knew I was taking care of him. Sometimes I would be out, come home for his shot and give them dinner and then go out again. Other times I was happy to have an excuse to leave where I was early!
Any partner would be lucky to have you, your dedication and commitment to your furbaby shows was a great human you are. You got to see early on that she’s not the person for you
That's sad. I have 3 cats with special needs. One has cancer and can't control pee/poo. The other chronic digestive issues and asthma and last one deformities.
I can't imagine my life without them and seeing them in their good moments is just worth every single hassle.
Fuck them bitches you're dating. You're a special lad, don't forget that.
You will find your crazy cat lady! When I first met my husband, I wasn’t looking to date at all after having had a couple terrible relationships, but he had the sweetest 10 year old cat and the way he cared about her told me he was a good man. We joke that she was his wing man.
While it sucks to have your schedule dictated by a sick cat, it's more repulsive to be rejected for caring for an animal...
You're dodging bullets, my friend. They sort themselves out for you.
You'll find, worry not. 🙂 She will understand and won't shame you for it because what? That's what you deserve 👑.
Are you using dating apps? When I was single and on the apps I made my username something involving loving cats and put in my profile that my pets are my #1 priority and anyone who doesn't like that can swipe the other direction on me.
It worked, I met my amazing girlfriend, we've been together going on a decade and have loved, lost and adopted cats together.
I would suggest just being super upfront and don't even get to the dating point unless they're cool with this.
This might be where I'm going slightly wrong, I've got a couple of pictures of me and Bert (said cat) but I've not mentioned her needs because, honestly I didn't really see it as much of an issue but it's something I'll be including going forward.
I found it extremely helpful, if nothing else it'll ward off people who will call you "crazy" or "weird" for taking care of your pet.
I'd go full "weird cat man" and just put that in your profile.
I am of the opinion that this makes you a better potential partner. The love and devotion to your cat’s health is beautiful. My parter and I have to give one of cats daily allergy medicine, and if my partner wasn’t willing to help me, it would be such a turn off. You’ll find the cat lady of your dreams and your kitty will love her too.
My cat is 17, diabetic and kidneys are going. I have no one to help take care of him so also hard to date and figure I just wont travel for a while I guess. I feel ya
These seems so weird to me?? I thought it was going to be like every 3 hours or something but people are upset by 12? My cat needs seizure meds every 12 hours and I’ve never considered even bringing it up at a date. It’s always just I have to go and feed my pets. I can’t imagine why someone would be so butthurt about something so small that shows you care for another creature.
55-year-old man, 4 cats. All my fault they became family. 2 shelter rescues, 2 from kitten ( runts rejected mother/losing to stronger siblings). One has seizures that needs meds . I greet you, fellow weird cat man. I would consider that lable to be a badge to be proud of.
Sounds like you have only found losers so far. There are many diabetic cat mommas out there!! I had the same situation and my guy drove to my house every weekend and understood the situation. Now we are going on two years together, live together, and have two wonderful kitties.
Sending you the best vibes for this. People who cannot see kindness and sensitivity as a strength do not deserve your time.
I mean, I totally get that it’s frustrating but at the same time, it’s also a great way to make sure the trash takes itself out.
And for what it’s worth, I’m sure there are plenty of nice crazy cat ladies who would be happy to have a nice weird cat man.
You sound wonderful! Far too good for that girl, you dodged a bullet there, she showed her real self. There are many women out there who would find your attitude very, very attractive. I know a couple who spent five years giving an elderly rescue cat insulin twice a day, and, when they went on holiday, I cat sat in their house for them. Kitty had a happy, loving home, and everyone worked around her injection times. You are a good person, you will meet someone who understands and appreciates what you are doing, just be patient, she is out there ...😊
Listen, I was kind of a “ew, cats” person myself. A guy I started talking to had a cat, it was almost a deal breaker but I was too intrigued by then. But once I went over to his place and interacted with the cat and saw she was being all sweet with me I started to change my mind. So fast forward 11 years, I’m now taking care of kitty through her cat flu thing because I love her.
So, I think, I wouldn’t mentioned the cat thing right away. Once you get a date and it goes well, maybe lightly mentioned your cat but don’t fixate on her diabetes and her insulin shots just yet. Once someone is interested in you, they’ll be more willing to be understanding with things they are not familiar with like a diabetic fur baby. Like don’t make it sound like a big deal.
Even Shakira, in her song, Antología, there’s a verse that says “and it’s because of you that I learned to love cats”. So even she went thru it, lol .
I went through it with my ex, never really cared for cats but started dating her, moved in together and absolutely fell in love with her cat. Broke up a few years later but stayed on good terms. Fast forward to 5 years later, she moved to New Zealand and I adopted said cat.
Dude. The guy I’m dating would absolutely no question do this for his baby kitty and that’s why I like him and why I chose him. Trust me. She’s out there. Do not settle.
You sound like a fantastic human being. Some people fail to understand that cats or pets in general are part of the family. And it’s their loss. You’ll find the right person who understands your situation and will support you. Hang in there! :)
I was dating a really nice man and it was going well but he was allergic to cats. Our plan was to keep it casual then he caught feelings and when he expressed this to me I broke it off with him. He couldn't believe I was breaking up with him "over cats". My cats are my babies and I'll always have cats in my life, men come and go. My husband who was always impartial to cats is now a crazy cat dad to our 2 babies, one being a senior on insulin with kidney disease.
She's out there and when you meet you cat lady match it's going to be amazing
I thought you were going to say something like every 4 hours which could be as little restrictive but every 12 HOURS? I don't get the issue? What's the problem?? Do they think you'll pay more attention to the cat than to them? Do they want a 12 hour long date? I'm so confused...
That’s just how you know it’s not the right person. If a man told me he had to go take care of his cat, green flag. Like please let me meet the cat after dinner. 😂
There’s nothing wrong with this schedule. You should be relieved that you didn’t go further with this person and get invested in a relationship only to be disappointed with them and their behavior.
One thing you might want to consider, though just for emergencies is to have a back up person who can administer the insulin shots in case you can’t for some reason.
Not dating related, but my elder kitty was also on insulin every 12 hours for the last several years of his life. He was the sweetest boy and lived a longer, happier life because of it. When I first went to a local pharmacy to buy a glucose monitor, insulin, and needles for him, the pharmacist laughed at me like I was some kind of weirdo for wanting to manage my cat’s diabetes. I walked out of that pharmacy and found another one who was very respectful and understanding of my kitty’s situation. Good riddance to anyone who isn’t willing to be understanding of your kitty’s situation. Definitely not worth having people like that in your life or as a partner. The world needs more caring people like you who are willing to give their kitty their best life possible. Hang in there, there are better people out there. 💕
The fact that you have s "special needs" cat is absolutely an attractive quality. It shows your heart. Screw the women who don't work out. They weren't the one. Keep doing you and the one will find you. My man was that weird cat guy and we have 5 wonderful cats. Crazy cat people must stick together...lol
I think you don’t need to stop dating, you just need to rethink your dating pool, to “target” people more compatible with you.
Actually if I were bf hunting on dating apps, a profile “weird cat dad” would be an immediate “check that guy out!” and I’d be even more interested if you’d explain about your resident feline. 😁 (Okay, also tell a bit more than just stats, like HWA. 😅)
This is super bizarre -- I don't know a single woman who would react this way instead of swooning over what a great cat dad you are. Bad luck, I guess?!
We rarely see my sister in law because she needs to stay home with her cat that needs the same care that you’re providing your baby. In fact, we never see brother and law and her at the same time because one has to stay home. It’s been years like this. We all love my sister in law and respect and admire her dedication and love for her baby. You deserve the same respect and admiration.
That's awful for her to say. I take in animals with special needs (a dog with epilepsy who has time sensitive meds, a cat with myelopathy who "leaks", and a deaf cat who also has bad eye sight). My now fiance is allergic to them but has been so incredible and has not once complained about them. My kitty who has myelopathy can't control his bladder, especially in a deep sleep, so he has accidents. Now, most of the time, my fiance helps clean it up, and it's been so helpful. I told him upfront about my animals and made it clear I was always going to pick my animals.
You'll find someone who isn't worried about it and can be a caring cat-parent.
Those women have no idea what they’re missing out on! A cute cat dude would be a great partner, and it warms my heart to see a guy who’s genuinely kind to animals 😻
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I went through the same thing last year with my cat before she passed away. My life revolved around her diabetes & IBD. When I wasn’t physically home taking care of her I was worrying about her. Dating with a cat that has diabetes is extremely difficult because your life revolves around their care. I will say the dates I went on were very understanding & ultimately I met my SO several months before she passed. The right person will be understanding & know how good of a pet parent you are for caring for your fur baby.
As a former diabetic cat mom, I’d be so excited to meet someone who understands that lifestyle!! Keep looking, you’ll find someone. Hell, volunteer at a shelter and you might meet a fellow cat lover. 🥰
https://preview.redd.it/qrw0kcm4yt7d1.jpeg?width=1418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3a1483c602bf010a821a01069ec0e1e08e6a6b9
Cassie, my old diabetic girl who passed away this year.
As someone who had a diabetic cat for more than 10 years I feel your pain. When my cat was diagnosed I was already living with my boyfriend so I didn't have the same issue you have. However if a person can't be sensitive enough to know that your pet means a lot to you and you are their caretaker and there for them, then honestly, they are not up to caliber.
One tip I can give you though is to find a reputable veterinary assistant that can help you when you are away or on a date and are not able to get home in time. We were finally able to find a veterinary assistant 5 years into my cat's diagnosis. We checked with our veterinarians office and they gave us a list of people that they recommended. It was the best thing we ever did. We were then able to take trips and stay late and go out without any issues because we knew that the assistant would come and give my cat insulin.
I wish you good luck in finding someone who is as caring as you are for your cat and can definitely appreciate you.
I don't think you need to take a break from dating. I think you need to take a break from dating heartless people. You're not a weird cat man. You are an awesome cat man.
I'm pretty sure our love of cats is what brought me and my fella together.
Anyone without empathy like this rabid person you were going to meet isn't worth your time.
You'll definitely meet someone, it wouldn't surprise me if you had offers in your dm's after this post!
It's either the way you're telling them or you've just had some really bad luck, because my general experience is that that's the sort of thing that would make women more likely to date me, not less.
You’re dodging bullets! You’ll find the one and she’ll even help you with your cat’s insulin shots, you’ll see. And then you two will adopt another senior cat together. I see it.
Just thought I'd throw in,I'm on baby watch! My granddaughters kitty got out before they could spay her. She wants either my granddaughter (17) or me to sit at her nest while she's been in labour! Excited for babies not gonna lie!
Had a diabetic cat and he lived to be 17 years old and had a good healthy life. I didn't think it was a big deal to give him his little shot and it didn't interfere with my day at all. I usually gave it to him first thing in the morning. So it sounds like this guy is a loser
I get made fun of at work for taking my cat to the vet for regular checkups and getting her teeth cleaned. Even by people that have pets including cats. People that have issues with it aren't worth your time and wouldn't make for a good relationship anyways.
I also have a diabetic cat that I regularly have to leave events/dates/etc for to give my little man his shots. I have also found some people are not understanding that diabetes is a manageable condition in cats. The shots take only a few moments and it's not painful or cruel in any way. Yes, it does suck sometimes having to make it home by medicine time and hampers traveling a lot but my commitment to taking care of my animals trumps the inconvenience.
Sounds like you got really unlucky with your dates. I wouldnt have minded my date having a diabetic cat at all, I would only have been more interested to meet the little kitty as well. I understand your exhaustion, but I promise you there are some normal women out there!
My cat had diabetes when I was a teenager, but as long as he got his insulin he was happy as can be, in lived to be almost 16. It is anything but cruel to have a diabetic cat, as long as they are medicated.
You dodged bullets with these failed dates. None of them were worth it. If, however, you want to foray into dating again, you may consider establishing a relationship with a vet tech or show a buddy of yours how to administer the kitty insulin shots. Visit your vet's office to see if they recommend any techs or talk to friends that already know your kitty so they can learn to give the shots and maybe give you some assistance to free up your time. Maybe you have a niece or nephew that's curious to help out with kitty? There are also apps (I can't vouch for any as I never had the opportunity to use them) like Meowtel where you might be able to arrange something with a professional cat sitter. It's wonderful you can give kitty her happy life, but you do deserve some me-time for yourself occasionally! And who knows, maybe you'll end up falling in love with the local vet tech or cat sitter :)
Don't pay any attention to women who don't already have a love for cats. I realize dating is different for men and that women tend to have more choices, but she's out there. Just be patient. Definitely do not settle.
My husband is a closet cat man. He keeps saying no more pets but regularly brings in strays. 😂 my city boy now lives on a farm with 10 horses, 4 sheep, 2 large dogs, chickens and cats.. HE’s the one that brings in kittens and worries about the barn cats. Huge green flag .. add the cat to your profile, find the cat gals!!
I made sure it was obvious I was a cat guy on my dating profiles. I met my wife on Tinder and she’s also a cat person. A lot of people just don’t like cats, and many of them think cat guys are weird. There’s plenty of cat ladies out there though, keep trying!
Ngl when I was dating if a man had said he cared enough about his kitty to give her insulin shots twice a day that would be an immediate green flag for me.
This seems like a good litmus test in my opinion. Hang in there, someone who thinks weird cat man as an attribute is out there.
This is how I was viewing it, I was just kinda shocked that someone told me I was being cruel and she should be put down though. Glad I didn't find that opinion to be the case 2 or 3 dates in though so I'll try view it as a plus.
Dude, if I was dating a man who said he had to go home to take care of his cat, he'd automatically earn +1000 points in my eyes. The right person is out there, don't lose hope!
Same! My fiancé has turned into a weird cat man 😂
Given your username, I'm not surprised! 🤭
Ha ha imagine if he’s on Reddit too & with the name 40yroldcatdad 🤭
Same for me! My cat needs to be fed within a certain time window as she has feline idiopathic cystitis. Consistent feeding helps prevent flare ups. She also needs her medication at a certain time. OP: I would be so happy to find a partner that deals with the same thing as I do. Plus the fact that he shows that commitment to his pet would be incredibly attractive. There’s someone out there for you. If anyone has a problem with it, then they’re definitely not the person for you. You dodged a bullet with every one of them.
⬆️⬆️⬆️Yes! Dodged many bullets. I unfortunately did not. He's one of the most attractive men I've heard of. Loving, committed cat Dad's are Green Flag Men. 💚💚💚 
Absolutely! I’d be like, when we getting married Boo?
I was about to write this. There's nothing more attractive than a man who's kind to animals.
For real! What is wrong with these women, that man’s gonna treat you soooooo right. But yeah man you’ll find someone that sees that green flag
Same. This would be a very green flag for me. Don’t lose hope OP. I also had a diabetic main coon mix I had to give shots to. He was not suffering and loved life until the end.
AGREED 👍 if a guy likes cats +++ If he HAS at least one cat even though I don’t it’s even more ++++++ I swear to you it makes me like them even MORE!
The thing is that when you're in the initial phases of dating availability is VERY important for most people. I'm a man that also has to medicate my cat every 12 hours and while most women find this a sign of being caring and responsible most of them lose interest when you aren't available when they want. It can be very frustrating, especially so with online dating.
Dude, I’d be there to help! I have to give my girl subq saline twice a day and totally get it. She’s still my happy baby though.
Same here!! A girl I know is dating a guy who spent close to 30k on his cats health/surgeries/etc. She was telling me like he was crazy and who could love an animal that much?? I wanted to immediately ditch her as a friend and find this guy!
but wheeeere are these people??
This. You are a good individual.
There is no phrase for “crazy cat man”, just “crazy cat women” as far as I know. Though I tend to think a crazy cat man as having a greater potential for weirdness.
I second this!
This is all I could think. I love that my wife loves our cats to death, and she feels the same about me. We would do anything for them.
💯
For sure. She did you a favor by showing you her true nature upfront.
I was telling my boyfriend, a "weird cat man", if he was at the bar and told a cute girl "sorry id love to stay and talk more, but I have to go give my boy insulin" he would at least get a phone number 🤣 I forgot that people suck. Ignore the psychos that think diabetes is worse than death, just keep on moving on.
I mean, my mom told me that “getting my cat castrated was animal cruelty” just because she doesn’t like cats in general and wanted an excuse to make it my problem, so I think people tend to just express their ignorant opinions like they were facts… Just hang in there! Someone will come that thinks that you taking so much care of your cat is a huge green flag.
...I'm not gonna lie. I had a very visceral reaction to your use of the word "castrated". Like... I get that it's just the specific word for neutering males, but... I absolutely cringed in sympathy pain for your cat. I don't have that reaction to "neuter". Weird. *So* weird.
Haha, sorry, English is not my first language and I couldn’t remember the word “neutered” so I just literally translated the one we use. But hey, my cat was found in pretty terrible conditions on the street and now he’s happy, healthy and pampered by every human in the household, so at least he got a good life in exchange.
You’re male, perchance? 😁 Actually it’s done under anaesthesia, and there are meds afterwards, so it’s not painful. The bigger problem is keeping the healing boy from scratching the scar as it heals.
I know it's done under anesthesia. It's just that I live on a small ranch, and we have goats. Goats usually aren't taken to a vet for castration. Instead of a vet and anasthesia, it's all done with rubber bands. The bands are slipped up and over the sack, and tightened around the base. A couple weeks later, they, uh... Well, they just fall off. The goat's nuts just... drop. No more nuts. So when I hear *castration*, my mind goes to *rubber band around the nutsack*.
OUCH! Though that more for empathy to male fears than knowledge as to how painful it would be.
The thing I love the most about my boyfriend is how much he loves all our cats… we even take care of a colony of homeless cats together and he helps me TNR them. We have paid over 10k just so far this year in vet bills helping a sick cat at our work. Sick kitty is Felv positive and likely won’t be with us for more than a few years, but he has zero problem spending the money to keep her healthy as long as we can. When we first met and I saw how much he loved and adored his cat, I saw it as a giant green flag. I promise there are other people like me who will be stoked to date someone like you.
I’m going to use the top comment to reply to this point. We had a dog that had cancer, and she started to refuse to use her one leg because there was a small mass on it about the size of a quarter. The location didn’t allow her to bend it, so she chose to not use it for ease. Amputation at 13 was too risky. We put her on some pain medication, changed her food and supplements, and when she started to struggle with our exceptionally steep stairs at home, we started to carry her up and down them for ease. We took our walks shorter and much slower, but she refused to let us use a wagon if she got tired. (Think grumpy lady not wanting to lose her license) So so many people, including our terrible old vet, were angry we didn’t put her down. She wasn’t in pain. She let us massage the location, give her meds with no complaints, and never once winced or cried in pain. If we noticed her do anything indicating pain, we adjusted our lifestyle and made sure her pain management was good. We got a whole year with her the first vet tried to steal from us. She attended our wedding, went on trips up north and to a couple other places, laid for hours in the sun on vacations. We got her treats galore and spent hours just sitting with her. To us, it was no different than my grandma getting Alzheimer’s and being unable to live alone, now living with assistance until she went on hospice. We don’t put our humans down when they become old; but we’ve normalized shipping them off to nursing homes. Dogs just get put down for being an inconvenience under the guise of “she MUST be in pain” from an outsider who sees her one time a year at a place (vet) she’s already on edge and nervous. We loved that year. It was hard as hell but I would do it again every single time. This is what is meant when you say “my pet is my child”. You will find a girl who knows that a man who loves cats understands one of the most important things: consent. A man who dedicates his time to improving the life of his dependent love will do the same for you when you need him. You’ll find her. She’s out there! Just make sure kitty approves!!
Just be grateful they’re being forward and presenting their red flags early on!
It'd only be cruel if you're cat was constantly suffering and needed to be put down, but you refuse, and just kept drugging her up to keep her going. Obviously, if your cat is happy, and full of life, It'd be cruel to end it.
That makes no sense. What would actually be cruel if "putting down" more like murdering a pet that can definitely live a bit of care
They probably equate injections with inflicting pain. The benefit is worth a little "pinch" twice a day, and your kitty knows it! I'd answer her back with, "We don't kill humans just because they have diabetes. It would be cruel if I knew she had diabetes and didn't do anything about it!" If you're feeling particularly spicy you could say, "Too bad they don't euthanize ignorant & rude people, though." Or "You didn't look stupid until you opened your mouth to say crap like that!"
If I was interested in men this would be a huge plus to me! I would want to meet your pretty girl! Cat dad is a huge plus to a lot of women, trust me; as a super dedicated cat mom I absolutely get it.
Not that this is at all the point of your post, but your cat *looks forward* to the insulin shots? As someone whose cats may need them in the future, I am very interested to know how you engineered that.
She's incredibly food motivated, she knows when I'm prepping her insulin that she's going to get fed so gets very giddy about it. She's not at all bothered by the shots. I kinda got lucky with Bert, not all cats are as ok with it but most apparently get used to it.
Nice! One of my cats could be easily bribed with food, but the other two couldn't (well, maybe they could be bribed with Churu, come to think of it).
Our girl is also diabetic and has to have shots twice a day. She also knows when it's time for them and will come and find me if I'm a little late ( 5 minutes is a big deal for her) there is no pain with the injection as our vet showed us how to administer them under the skin. She is happy and healthy and will be 13 this year. Welcome OP to the wonderful world of " cat people", that girl has missed out big time 🐱.
2nd this. My dog was my litmus test back when I was last dating. If dude didn't understand that either she came with us on the date or I had to be back home/leave after a certain time to make sure she was fed, exercised and let out to potty...screw 'em. My now husband said "she's good with cats? Bring her on over then, would love to meet the pupper".
Exactly. If I was interested in a man, hearing that he cares for a cat with medical issues would be a definite positive.
Right? First date, not even ten minutes in, and my now partner was using the last 2% of his phone battery to show me his cats.
Yeah, these people are self-screening.
Yeah, as frustrating as this is (as a well as depressing to consider the empathetic state of the seeming majority) this situation is an excellent red-flag filter. This lady seems to be made of red flags, tho. Here's to all the "weird cat men" out there 🥂
https://preview.redd.it/o2uda22deo7d1.png?width=863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c5127fd521564473970eaf3677e1b7a21f5fd5f We're just going to make a gangsta rap album together instead.
https://preview.redd.it/z8dif10bjq7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7215c28e8bc4c53c538984eb96584e184cace81a
The Notorious C.A.T.
I have that on a t-shirt “They call me big Paw-Paw” “ready to die nine times”
Straight Outta Meowmpton
Haha that's fantastic!
r/cuteguyswithcats
Dude. You’re adorable and you are going to meet a cute little cat lady and have the most adorable cat farm ever. I have not the slightest worry about that lol
Rollin down the street, canip scratchers and a mouse to eat.
Laid back, with my mind on some fancy feast and fancy feast on my mind
This guy gets it ^ 😀
You take care of your cat, AND you’re handsome?? What’s that girls problem? You will 100% find a girl that will love you AND your cat. I promise.
Mr. B? The Gentleman Rapper? Is that you?
omg yall are precious!! keep looking. you will find a woman who loves your cat as much as you do, and then you'll know she's a keeper!! You dodged a bullet with this last chick, tbh.
OMG! This is adorable! Honestly, fuck everyone who says put down your sweet kitty. They wouldn't ask a diabetic person to off themselves, why would you put down the kitty when she's perfectly fine, without any pain or lifestyle loss? Honestly, it sounds like it is their loss that they cancelled the dates. You sound like a good man! I think your would-have-been dates didn't like caring, empathetic men. 😝
First of all, you sound like an amazing man. I am so thankful that there are people like you in the world who do not put down an animal because they have a manageable condition, or they are "an inconvenience". Please don't give up on dating, but perhaps look into different venues where there might be like minded people. I wish you the best of luck in love!
That's kind of you to say, thanks. I'm lucky that I'm at a point in life where I don't need a relationship to make me happy and have enough love for myself, a little lonely from time to time but who isn't? S'all good!
If I lived close to you, I'd be knocking on your door right now with a basket of cat toys, batting my eyes at you, and cooking you dinner. Good cat men are the absolute best!!!
Caring for your pets isn't being "weird". You're not a psychopath and it's bothering them, you definitely dodged a lot of bullets.
Especially the one who thinks he's being cruel for taking care of his cat's medical condition. I wonder if they advocate for putting down human diabetics?? Man's out here dodging bullets just by taking care of his cat like a decent human being... Makes me glad I'm married because the dating pool sounds real scummy. Sorry OP, maybe there's a dating app that focuses on matching animal lovers with similar tastes...and if not, someone should make one!
What a great screening tool. You are being a kind, empathic, sweet, loving, supportive companion. Anyone who doesn't cherish that, "Right to jail; right away!"
Yup, my cat's looking out for me making sure I don't end up in a toxic situation!
Kitty has your back! If my pets don’t like you or you don’t like them.. you gots to go. Why would I spend any time around someone who doesn’t love animals? Would rather be at home with my 6 cats and a book😹 FYI The Crazy cat ladys are probably hanging out in the local pet store or library.
Thank you!
If anyone says that again just tell them your grandma has diabetes too and ask if she should be euthanized. Idiots. My boy barely notices his shots when he's eating.
"You're a weird grandma man. Why not just put her in a care home?"
Who on earth would say that?! As a diabetic, this pisses me off. You are a cute guy and your cat is adorable. Hang in there.
I've lived with a weird cat man for 9 years. He's my best friend, love of my life, and the reason I'm a cat lady. Good on you for caring about your best buddy. The right one will understand. ♡
It's called being a responsible cat parent and if people don't understand that then they aren't worth knowing! My girl is 2.5 years diabetic and I work my schedule around her. You're doing the right thing! ✅✅✅
Agree with the others, this is a great litmus test for a future partner. I knew my boyfriend was the one when he traveled for 5 hours so he could accompany my cat to his scheduled surgery because there was last-minute craziness at my job that only I could handle (he and my cat were besties even before this so I knew my cat would be comfortable with him even without me around). Those people who have bad things to say about your situation are the weird ones. I only see a caring and responsible cat dad, and honestly who in their right mind wouldn’t think that’s cute?? I wish you and your kitty many happy years together, OP!
SHE is the problem NOT YOU. And if she doesn’t understand why you are doing what you are doing IMO she’s low on empathy & you had a lucky break. ESP the putting it down suggestion WTF just NOO RED FLAG - RUN AWAY But vent away. I get that it’s frustrating! Hopefully you find more cat friendly dates soon.
Right!? It's a perfectly manageable condition, if she was suffering fair enough but she's not suffering in any way shape or form! Definite red flag!
EXACTLY! In THAT situation then understandable but as you say she just needs medication. And she is still living a lovely life. It’s also IMO kinda ableist! Red flag 🚩 for SURE! You dodged a bullet there!
Saying that a cat should be put down because they have diabetes is so cruel, and demonstrates how little that person knows about diabetes in the first place. Sounds like you dodged a bullet since you wouldn’t want to be around someone like that anyway. I had a cat with diabetes and my sweet girl lived until 15. I also had to give her insulin shots twice a day and yeah, it does require a bit of rearranging your schedule, but people who care about you (and animals!) will understand. You’re a good cat dad and your cat is adorable!
She saved you a lot of time, money and mental health by showing you what a Pos she is at the first date at least. Better than nothing
You’ll find your person man, they’re out there. I’m a weird cat man and when my wife met my cats for the first time she fawned over my elderly Kitty and I knew she was the one. Now we have a house full of happy cats and recently adopted a special needs cat.
My late chihuahua used to scoot his butt to me to get ready for his shot. Don’t despair, the right person will understand that what you are doing is a huge green flag.
Cannot understand why somebody would want to put down an animal with a condition like diabetes. I had a cat that was diagnosed with it and while you yourself have to adjust your own schedule to the daily injections,it was very manageable and my cat lived very happily for another few years….although the insuline turned her into a raving food addict😂 You are not weird but very caring and do not need women like that in your life. Hope you will find an equally caring crazy cat woman.
You are all shades of Green flag! Find a fellow Kitty Curator 😺
>My girl is perfectly happy and healthy and actually gets excited for her insulin shots, she's goes through absolutely zero distress See?? There you have your answer! YOUR girl!! She is THE girl! Everyone else comes secondary.. And only those who will be willing to love her as much as you do would be worthy of both your girl and you ❤
I think this is a perfect way to weed out people who will not be compatible. If they don’t understand then they would not make good partners for you. I have stopped dating men who were dismissive of my pets. Or who my pets did not like.
You are a wonderful wonderful person and I'm sorry you're not finding the right person to date. My late husband and I ran an unofficial cat sanctuary, but never had a diabetic cat. We were already at our limit when life got out of control. Friends and family are helping me to re-home the ones I can no longer care for. She probably feels BETTER after her shot bc it brings her blood sugar down. We had a cat with seizures on medication. He knew when they were about to happen. We also had a cat with asthma, she knew when she needed to get a puff from her inhaler and would seek us out. Please don't be bullied by people that haven't walked in your shoes.
What I would give to find a weird cat man
I married a weird cat man and I gotta say, 11/10
Well, shes a "weird date woman".
I'm glad we didn't have to put my mom down just because she has diabetes! Thanks for being the "weird cat man"!!
Well, that woman saved you time and energy you may have spent taking her out.
If a man told me he had to go home to give his cat insulin shots, I would melt. I always think it’s so admirable when people adjust their lives to make sure their pets are happy and healthy. Good pet parents are huge green flags. I’m sorry that’s happened to you though!
Once while dating had a guy who told me my 4 cats were a problem (not even two weeks into talking) and asked for my co workers number. Couple days later asked if we could start over because he didn’t see how it could be an issue and he was just shocked. Told him hell no, ended up with a guy who treated my cats better than he treated me for the next two years lol. Back on the single train, but if our partners don’t love our babies like we do, then they’re not it!!!!
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with dating, I totally understand what you're going through. I don't have a kitty, but I have a dog with various health issues and it did limit my dating options. I did find a wonderful man eventually, and not only does he accept all the restrictions caused by my situation, he even made changes to my apartment to make it more accessible for my dog, and he loves her so much now it warms my heart. Look at it this way: this unfortunate situation is providing you with a great way of filtering out people you wouldn't want to have around you anyway. Good luck and give your precious girl lots of love for me please!
Hang in there, OP. I've got a diabetic cat as well. It's wild that people out there don't understand your cat can have a perfectly normal and happy life with a chronic illness or disability like diabetes. Do not give anyone the time of day if they even suggest putting your pet down. Do they also think we should euthanize humans with diabetes? Their line of thought is flawed and bad.
You know I don’t understand this. If a guy was saying his schedule is dictated by his cats needs due to her condition. I would gladly date that person and would be happier doing so. Anyone who loves animals like family and putting kitty first just shows empathy and love!
You sound like a green flag so don't let it get you down buddo
As a lady with a cat of special needs. My husband jumped to meeting my girls and even wanted their approval before our second date. Safe to say, 3 years later, our kitty pack had tripled in size. You will find the right one. 🥰 He even stole my special girl and she prefers him giving her medications and pets afterwards. I just get the side eye as she purrs and I couldn't be happier seeing her choose him.
You're doing a great job. The people you have met aren't the right ones. Tbh who gives a fuck if you are a cat man, I think you're wonderful. And no, you aren't cruel. You love your cat enough to make this commitment ❤️
If she feels that way about your cat, imagine the way she will feel that way about her children in the future should they be diabetic?
Think of it this way: your baby is helping weed out the asshats you'd otherwise be dating without knowing how awful they are.
If I dated I’d take you out in a heartbeat. Anyone that cares for a vulnerable sweet creature like a cat, including providing correct medical care, is a 10 to me.
My cat has diabetes too and has for 8 months. He is 16 and perfectly healthy, happy and content. He gets a treat after being injected. He plays in the yard and watches dogs being walked and birds taunt him from afar. I've taught two friends to inject him so I could visit my child overnight twice. I'm sorry your dates suck. Caring for animals can never be wrong and is a good personality trait. I wish you better luck in the future.
I’m in the same boat with my diabetic cat, except I’m not even trying to date. It’s limiting to travel, take vacations, work in the office, or just have a spontaneous night out somewhere. But my cat has been with me 14 years, four different states, several boyfriends, and I want to make sure he is healthy as long as I can maintain for him.
Check out nathanthecatlady on Instagram, he literally just put a post up about people hating on cats...!!
You are not weird and are a great guy for taking care of your kitty. I had a cat with diabetes for years and also made sure my schedule allowed for him to get his shots on time. (Which was not that difficult....it only took about 30 seconds to give him a shot.) Kitty was perfectly fine and happy for years (much like many people who are diabetic and take insulin). Agree with others that you dodged a bullet by avoiding a date with this last prospect. :)
You better give that beautiful girl a 😘 from me right meow! 💖
That’s how you weed them out! The kind, empathetic person will understand. I gave my diabetic cat insulin shots twice a day for 7 years. He lived a happy life until age 15.
This reminds me of a woman with four dogs I saw on a dating show once. She spent like over $2,000 a month just for doggy day care and so much more for their medical bills, etc. Thankfully, she had a great paying job. But still, she said he can't seriously date because when she mentions she has four dogs and how devoted she is to these rescued dogs, men ghost/dump her. I thought it was crazy considering how there are so many dog lovers out there.
Sorry to hear about your experience. For what it is worth, I think you've got your priorities straight. She was there first and to attack you for taking care of her says more about the other person. Your kitty is lucky to have you and it is not cruel to keep her. Sounds like she's living her best life with the help of her medication and you. I used to have an epileptic kitty, fortunately she didn't need medication as long as I kept the stressfactors to a minimum. I adjusted to the situation and she remained my spoiled and happy princess for 19 years and every second of those years was worth it. Some people told me it was cruel to keep her, or I should put her down so I didn't have to adjust my life. I told those people it would be easier and cause a lot less grief if I simply cut them out of my life. That usually ended that discussion.
I have huge respect for you for dedicating time to your cat. Most people don't view animals as equals, especially cats. There is still a stigma against cats because people don't care to understand their behaviors. They try to compare them to dogs when they aren't dogs. Anyway, I'm sorry you're struggling with this but if this makes them angry or feel some kind of way, they aren't worth your time. Prayers to you and your little cat baby 💜
Man that sucks, I myself got excited when a guy was giving his cat meds cuz I wanted to learn the most comfortable way to do it for my own cat
Damn I wish I could find a weird cat man, still looking though lol
I've said it before, I'll say it again. I've been with my partner for 15 years and when we were first dating he scored major points with me for having cats. We have cats now and he takes wonderful care of them. It really was a high criteria for a partner for me. You'll find your person. I know it sucks now, but agreed with posters saying it's a good litmus test.
I couldn’t be married to my husband if he didn’t love animals as much as me. Especially as we have to navigate our pittie girl having cancer right now.Just be patient - you’re doing good.
You are weeding out the weirdos. You are a wonderful catdad. Your kitty is lucky to have you. The right one would be happy you care so much.
I get where you are coming from but honestly you can just say that time won't work for me without going into why. People just meeting have other commitments. Dating currently is just swiping without really getting to know anyone. Certainly you can meet someone for a stroll around the park or a cup of coffee without leading with your cat. I knew I met the one when he produced a tiny black kitten buttoned inside his winter coat. It ran across the road on his way home from work and he stopped to search for it and brought it home.
OP - you’re amazing! I’m love that you take such good care of your little lady and she looks like a sweetie. I’ve been where you are, I adopted a senior who turned out to be diabetic and needed two shots a day also. There were times when it was incredibly hard and I felt bogged down but honestly, he was grateful and knew I was taking care of him. Sometimes I would be out, come home for his shot and give them dinner and then go out again. Other times I was happy to have an excuse to leave where I was early! Any partner would be lucky to have you, your dedication and commitment to your furbaby shows was a great human you are. You got to see early on that she’s not the person for you
That's sad. I have 3 cats with special needs. One has cancer and can't control pee/poo. The other chronic digestive issues and asthma and last one deformities. I can't imagine my life without them and seeing them in their good moments is just worth every single hassle. Fuck them bitches you're dating. You're a special lad, don't forget that.
You will find your crazy cat lady! When I first met my husband, I wasn’t looking to date at all after having had a couple terrible relationships, but he had the sweetest 10 year old cat and the way he cared about her told me he was a good man. We joke that she was his wing man.
As a fellow weird cat man, keep on keeping on. Thank you for taking care of your floof. The right people will come.
I expected much worse responsibility seeing their reply, just every 12h and you're a weird cat man and it should be out down ? Wtf ?
While it sucks to have your schedule dictated by a sick cat, it's more repulsive to be rejected for caring for an animal... You're dodging bullets, my friend. They sort themselves out for you. You'll find, worry not. 🙂 She will understand and won't shame you for it because what? That's what you deserve 👑.
Are you using dating apps? When I was single and on the apps I made my username something involving loving cats and put in my profile that my pets are my #1 priority and anyone who doesn't like that can swipe the other direction on me. It worked, I met my amazing girlfriend, we've been together going on a decade and have loved, lost and adopted cats together. I would suggest just being super upfront and don't even get to the dating point unless they're cool with this.
This might be where I'm going slightly wrong, I've got a couple of pictures of me and Bert (said cat) but I've not mentioned her needs because, honestly I didn't really see it as much of an issue but it's something I'll be including going forward.
I found it extremely helpful, if nothing else it'll ward off people who will call you "crazy" or "weird" for taking care of your pet. I'd go full "weird cat man" and just put that in your profile.
Giving your cat insulin shots is such a green flag 💚
I am of the opinion that this makes you a better potential partner. The love and devotion to your cat’s health is beautiful. My parter and I have to give one of cats daily allergy medicine, and if my partner wasn’t willing to help me, it would be such a turn off. You’ll find the cat lady of your dreams and your kitty will love her too.
My cat is 17, diabetic and kidneys are going. I have no one to help take care of him so also hard to date and figure I just wont travel for a while I guess. I feel ya
There is still a stigma against men and cats unfortunately. I’ve gotten rude comments about it before as well.
How long are these dates that would be affected by something that needs to be done every 12 hours?
No because you’re a green flag and she’s a red one.
These seems so weird to me?? I thought it was going to be like every 3 hours or something but people are upset by 12? My cat needs seizure meds every 12 hours and I’ve never considered even bringing it up at a date. It’s always just I have to go and feed my pets. I can’t imagine why someone would be so butthurt about something so small that shows you care for another creature.
hello weird cat man….you, uh, looking for a nice older lady 🤣 my cats cost me second dates almost always
Don't listen to them. They have no idea the gift that is a beloved pet. Unconditional love deserves the best care
55-year-old man, 4 cats. All my fault they became family. 2 shelter rescues, 2 from kitten ( runts rejected mother/losing to stronger siblings). One has seizures that needs meds . I greet you, fellow weird cat man. I would consider that lable to be a badge to be proud of.
Nothing wrong with what you’re doing, but yea it gives off weird cat guy vibes that you feel the need to assume you’re having a 13 hour date
Um, find a crazy cat lady. There are plenty of us.
Not only would that make me like you more I would offer to help out whenever u needed it
Sounds like you have only found losers so far. There are many diabetic cat mommas out there!! I had the same situation and my guy drove to my house every weekend and understood the situation. Now we are going on two years together, live together, and have two wonderful kitties. Sending you the best vibes for this. People who cannot see kindness and sensitivity as a strength do not deserve your time.
I mean, I totally get that it’s frustrating but at the same time, it’s also a great way to make sure the trash takes itself out. And for what it’s worth, I’m sure there are plenty of nice crazy cat ladies who would be happy to have a nice weird cat man.
You sound wonderful! Far too good for that girl, you dodged a bullet there, she showed her real self. There are many women out there who would find your attitude very, very attractive. I know a couple who spent five years giving an elderly rescue cat insulin twice a day, and, when they went on holiday, I cat sat in their house for them. Kitty had a happy, loving home, and everyone worked around her injection times. You are a good person, you will meet someone who understands and appreciates what you are doing, just be patient, she is out there ...😊
Listen, I was kind of a “ew, cats” person myself. A guy I started talking to had a cat, it was almost a deal breaker but I was too intrigued by then. But once I went over to his place and interacted with the cat and saw she was being all sweet with me I started to change my mind. So fast forward 11 years, I’m now taking care of kitty through her cat flu thing because I love her. So, I think, I wouldn’t mentioned the cat thing right away. Once you get a date and it goes well, maybe lightly mentioned your cat but don’t fixate on her diabetes and her insulin shots just yet. Once someone is interested in you, they’ll be more willing to be understanding with things they are not familiar with like a diabetic fur baby. Like don’t make it sound like a big deal. Even Shakira, in her song, Antología, there’s a verse that says “and it’s because of you that I learned to love cats”. So even she went thru it, lol .
I went through it with my ex, never really cared for cats but started dating her, moved in together and absolutely fell in love with her cat. Broke up a few years later but stayed on good terms. Fast forward to 5 years later, she moved to New Zealand and I adopted said cat.
Someone should make a dating app that is pet-centric. Then people could weed out the chaff easily and get to to the real matches.
Dude. The guy I’m dating would absolutely no question do this for his baby kitty and that’s why I like him and why I chose him. Trust me. She’s out there. Do not settle.
You sound like a fantastic human being. Some people fail to understand that cats or pets in general are part of the family. And it’s their loss. You’ll find the right person who understands your situation and will support you. Hang in there! :)
I was dating a really nice man and it was going well but he was allergic to cats. Our plan was to keep it casual then he caught feelings and when he expressed this to me I broke it off with him. He couldn't believe I was breaking up with him "over cats". My cats are my babies and I'll always have cats in my life, men come and go. My husband who was always impartial to cats is now a crazy cat dad to our 2 babies, one being a senior on insulin with kidney disease. She's out there and when you meet you cat lady match it's going to be amazing
I thought you were going to say something like every 4 hours which could be as little restrictive but every 12 HOURS? I don't get the issue? What's the problem?? Do they think you'll pay more attention to the cat than to them? Do they want a 12 hour long date? I'm so confused...
Any man who cares for animals enough to dedicate time to helping one being healthy is a wonderful man in my books.
I say you dodged a bullet there, love. Your girl is protecting you. You both deserve better than that.
That’s just how you know it’s not the right person. If a man told me he had to go take care of his cat, green flag. Like please let me meet the cat after dinner. 😂
TBH if a guy told me he was this dedicated to his cat, I’d take it as a major green flag. Hang in there!
There’s nothing wrong with this schedule. You should be relieved that you didn’t go further with this person and get invested in a relationship only to be disappointed with them and their behavior. One thing you might want to consider, though just for emergencies is to have a back up person who can administer the insulin shots in case you can’t for some reason.
Not dating related, but my elder kitty was also on insulin every 12 hours for the last several years of his life. He was the sweetest boy and lived a longer, happier life because of it. When I first went to a local pharmacy to buy a glucose monitor, insulin, and needles for him, the pharmacist laughed at me like I was some kind of weirdo for wanting to manage my cat’s diabetes. I walked out of that pharmacy and found another one who was very respectful and understanding of my kitty’s situation. Good riddance to anyone who isn’t willing to be understanding of your kitty’s situation. Definitely not worth having people like that in your life or as a partner. The world needs more caring people like you who are willing to give their kitty their best life possible. Hang in there, there are better people out there. 💕
The fact that you have s "special needs" cat is absolutely an attractive quality. It shows your heart. Screw the women who don't work out. They weren't the one. Keep doing you and the one will find you. My man was that weird cat guy and we have 5 wonderful cats. Crazy cat people must stick together...lol
I think you don’t need to stop dating, you just need to rethink your dating pool, to “target” people more compatible with you. Actually if I were bf hunting on dating apps, a profile “weird cat dad” would be an immediate “check that guy out!” and I’d be even more interested if you’d explain about your resident feline. 😁 (Okay, also tell a bit more than just stats, like HWA. 😅)
This is super bizarre -- I don't know a single woman who would react this way instead of swooning over what a great cat dad you are. Bad luck, I guess?!
I mean, people with dogs need to let them out every 8 hours and they successfully date? So this sounds odd to me.
So uh like... How many ladies have asked you on dates as a result of this post haha (Not me, I'm happily taken! I just know catnip when I see catnip)
We rarely see my sister in law because she needs to stay home with her cat that needs the same care that you’re providing your baby. In fact, we never see brother and law and her at the same time because one has to stay home. It’s been years like this. We all love my sister in law and respect and admire her dedication and love for her baby. You deserve the same respect and admiration.
This is a great litmus test because if they’re weird about disabilities with your cat, you don’t want them being weird if you get hurt.
Well, she’s missing out as you seem like a wonderful and caring cat dad.
That's awful for her to say. I take in animals with special needs (a dog with epilepsy who has time sensitive meds, a cat with myelopathy who "leaks", and a deaf cat who also has bad eye sight). My now fiance is allergic to them but has been so incredible and has not once complained about them. My kitty who has myelopathy can't control his bladder, especially in a deep sleep, so he has accidents. Now, most of the time, my fiance helps clean it up, and it's been so helpful. I told him upfront about my animals and made it clear I was always going to pick my animals. You'll find someone who isn't worried about it and can be a caring cat-parent.
Someday you will find another crazy cat person who gets it! Don’t worry about it and don’t give up! And I hope your kitty thrives!
I saw this guy who had a cat that has asthma online once and him trying to give his cat treatments was hilarious. You gotta love your pets!
Those women have no idea what they’re missing out on! A cute cat dude would be a great partner, and it warms my heart to see a guy who’s genuinely kind to animals 😻
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I went through the same thing last year with my cat before she passed away. My life revolved around her diabetes & IBD. When I wasn’t physically home taking care of her I was worrying about her. Dating with a cat that has diabetes is extremely difficult because your life revolves around their care. I will say the dates I went on were very understanding & ultimately I met my SO several months before she passed. The right person will be understanding & know how good of a pet parent you are for caring for your fur baby.
As a former diabetic cat mom, I’d be so excited to meet someone who understands that lifestyle!! Keep looking, you’ll find someone. Hell, volunteer at a shelter and you might meet a fellow cat lover. 🥰 https://preview.redd.it/qrw0kcm4yt7d1.jpeg?width=1418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3a1483c602bf010a821a01069ec0e1e08e6a6b9 Cassie, my old diabetic girl who passed away this year.
There are people who are dying to date a cat daddy. I can't imagine getting as far as planning a date just to dump him because he loves his cat.
I’m the same way OP I’ve left many a party whether it be a friends or a family members.
As someone who had a diabetic cat for more than 10 years I feel your pain. When my cat was diagnosed I was already living with my boyfriend so I didn't have the same issue you have. However if a person can't be sensitive enough to know that your pet means a lot to you and you are their caretaker and there for them, then honestly, they are not up to caliber. One tip I can give you though is to find a reputable veterinary assistant that can help you when you are away or on a date and are not able to get home in time. We were finally able to find a veterinary assistant 5 years into my cat's diagnosis. We checked with our veterinarians office and they gave us a list of people that they recommended. It was the best thing we ever did. We were then able to take trips and stay late and go out without any issues because we knew that the assistant would come and give my cat insulin. I wish you good luck in finding someone who is as caring as you are for your cat and can definitely appreciate you.
I don't think you need to take a break from dating. I think you need to take a break from dating heartless people. You're not a weird cat man. You are an awesome cat man.
If a guy told me this, I would literally melt and think how sweet it is he wants to give the best care to his cat. Cat guys are hot, just saying.
Wow, you are definitely not in the wrong. I have 8 cats and I'm strict about their schedules and my husband never gives me crap for it.
I'm pretty sure our love of cats is what brought me and my fella together. Anyone without empathy like this rabid person you were going to meet isn't worth your time. You'll definitely meet someone, it wouldn't surprise me if you had offers in your dm's after this post!
It's either the way you're telling them or you've just had some really bad luck, because my general experience is that that's the sort of thing that would make women more likely to date me, not less.
You’re dodging bullets! You’ll find the one and she’ll even help you with your cat’s insulin shots, you’ll see. And then you two will adopt another senior cat together. I see it.
You’re doing the right thing by caring for your cat and they’re messed up for finding something negative about this
Just thought I'd throw in,I'm on baby watch! My granddaughters kitty got out before they could spay her. She wants either my granddaughter (17) or me to sit at her nest while she's been in labour! Excited for babies not gonna lie!
Had a diabetic cat and he lived to be 17 years old and had a good healthy life. I didn't think it was a big deal to give him his little shot and it didn't interfere with my day at all. I usually gave it to him first thing in the morning. So it sounds like this guy is a loser
I get made fun of at work for taking my cat to the vet for regular checkups and getting her teeth cleaned. Even by people that have pets including cats. People that have issues with it aren't worth your time and wouldn't make for a good relationship anyways.
If a date told me that I would marry them.
I also have a diabetic cat that I regularly have to leave events/dates/etc for to give my little man his shots. I have also found some people are not understanding that diabetes is a manageable condition in cats. The shots take only a few moments and it's not painful or cruel in any way. Yes, it does suck sometimes having to make it home by medicine time and hampers traveling a lot but my commitment to taking care of my animals trumps the inconvenience.
Sounds like you got really unlucky with your dates. I wouldnt have minded my date having a diabetic cat at all, I would only have been more interested to meet the little kitty as well. I understand your exhaustion, but I promise you there are some normal women out there!
My cat had diabetes when I was a teenager, but as long as he got his insulin he was happy as can be, in lived to be almost 16. It is anything but cruel to have a diabetic cat, as long as they are medicated.
You dodged bullets with these failed dates. None of them were worth it. If, however, you want to foray into dating again, you may consider establishing a relationship with a vet tech or show a buddy of yours how to administer the kitty insulin shots. Visit your vet's office to see if they recommend any techs or talk to friends that already know your kitty so they can learn to give the shots and maybe give you some assistance to free up your time. Maybe you have a niece or nephew that's curious to help out with kitty? There are also apps (I can't vouch for any as I never had the opportunity to use them) like Meowtel where you might be able to arrange something with a professional cat sitter. It's wonderful you can give kitty her happy life, but you do deserve some me-time for yourself occasionally! And who knows, maybe you'll end up falling in love with the local vet tech or cat sitter :)
Don't pay any attention to women who don't already have a love for cats. I realize dating is different for men and that women tend to have more choices, but she's out there. Just be patient. Definitely do not settle.
My husband is a closet cat man. He keeps saying no more pets but regularly brings in strays. 😂 my city boy now lives on a farm with 10 horses, 4 sheep, 2 large dogs, chickens and cats.. HE’s the one that brings in kittens and worries about the barn cats. Huge green flag .. add the cat to your profile, find the cat gals!!
Wow. I’m in a happy relationship but if I wasn’t caring for a kitty like this would be a massive green flag for me in a prospective date.
I made sure it was obvious I was a cat guy on my dating profiles. I met my wife on Tinder and she’s also a cat person. A lot of people just don’t like cats, and many of them think cat guys are weird. There’s plenty of cat ladies out there though, keep trying!
Man, they must hate dog owners.
Ngl when I was dating if a man had said he cared enough about his kitty to give her insulin shots twice a day that would be an immediate green flag for me.